Psychological Issues #29

Afternoon. I do feel stupid today. I need to stop drinking. They always just steal my anime time with their bullshit anyway. Plus I nearly stabbed myself. It's a sign. Shameful anyway.

>>36210701
>Plus I nearly stabbed myself.

I know. I spied on you. Who and what the hell was that about?

weeeew morning

>>36210708
I couldn't say exactly. I just sometimes get the urge to self-harm in a drastic way. I haven't done it in years but it crops up from time to time.

>>36210738
Morning nobody, thanks for babbysitting me

>>36210738

Hello there.

>>36210740

What do you remember from our chat last night?

>>36210758
hope you had a good breakfast.

>>36210790
I remember that you butted heads with the religious one. You saw a picture of the female one. She had a huge meltdown again. Then I got into that headspace where the divisions melt away and I get confused and upset. That's all, I'm afraid.

>>36210846
>I remember that you butted heads with the religious one.

Carefully chosen name.

>You saw a picture of the female one.

You, basically.

I don't know when she had a meltdown. she was OK when I left.

So what about that sigil? Thanks to my time on /x/, I figured it was a sigil before she told me. What's the deal with that?

>>36210946
Sure, it was me but at that point she was the 'main' one so it was her mode of dress, body weight etc. Well, it's a tattoo. The name of the religious one. I got it when I was about 17. I suppose I felt compelled to. Something to do with marking/ ownership, something like that. Now that I think about it, it seems a little shady.

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>>36210653
For what purpose?

1: Done it many times, what is the point if one doesn't lack understanding and has overcome the distress?

Schizoid pd.
Asperger
Brief psychotic disorder
ADD

Free of depression cycles for 2-3 years.

My problem is I don't function in society, I can't stand people for any regular length of time without intoxicating myself.
I'm misanthropic, boohoo youth yadada, locked up, violence. Still lock myself up on my own terms most of the time because I prefer it that way, full control and I must control, same with people I must control through their weaknesses and values or destroy or, more commonly, be utterly indifferent and attach no real value to begin with.
It is impossible to come to a compromise on functioning in society and it leaves me dependent on the state and I dislike that but I have no choice and I'm treated better than I would treat myself if the tables were turned, still I am content as can be but dislike the dependence and being at the mercy of the whims of some civil employee. I find it frustrating my potential can't be realized in society but I'm quite content to settle with what I have.

>>36211013
>I got it when I was about 17

She said that was her age, "still", I suppose.

>Something to do with marking/ ownership, something like that. Now that I think about it, it seems a little shady.

Seems a little shady? Samael himself said you "carved" his name on you.

For the record, I'm going along with all this, but you won't be upset if I sometimes imagine you're a troll from /x/ and this is going to be one huge possession story.

Can you get a tattoo at 17 without your parents' approval? What possessed you to get that sigial tattooed on you?

>>36211032

Are these diagnoses from a professional?

>>36211127
Yes, they are the result of over a decade of seeing psychiatrists and psychologists.

>>36211151

And they think you have both Asperger's and ADD?

Have they come up with any solutions that helped you?

>>36211102
>What possessed you
Oh, you.

You can do what you like if you go to Glasgow and have it done at the expense of your gf who is ten years older than you.

>Seems a little shady? Samael himself said you "carved" his name on you.
That's a pretty frightening way of describing it.

As for it being a long-form possession story, that has potential. It starts off DID but then turns out that one (or more?) are actually ghosts or demons or something. Original concept donut steel

>>36211151

Does that correspond to you:

"According to the DSM, those with SPD may often be unable to express aggressiveness or hostility, even when provoked directly. "

Hi, this is my first time posting here.

I have issues like most people, my diagnosis is schizophrenia.

>>36211195
>Oh, you.

Couldn't resist the... temptation.

So you are a Scot?

>As for it being a long-form possession story, that has potential. It starts off DID but then turns out that one (or more?) are actually ghosts or demons or something.

It sure sounds that way.

I expect you to come shouting TROLLED any day now.

Are you aware that "she" gave me your name?

Hey, everyone. Know that I am lurking.

>>36211239

Have you seen a psychiatrist about it?

>>36211260

Hello, Meta.

What's your day job? I can't believe you do this for free so often.

>>36211261
I have been in a couple mental wards for it, but I don't currently see a doctor because I only take antipsychotics if I feel my symptoms are severe.

I am diagnosed by a professional if you meant that.

zawa, zawaa

>>36211256
>Are you aware that "she" gave me your name?
We have many names.

But that's annoying.

>>36211279
>What's your day job? I can't believe you do this for free so often.

There's a lot more you wouldn't believe about me.

I'm on holidays currently, and it's hard. Doing this takes some of the pain off my soul. Some.

>>36211288

Would you mind describing your symptoms and hallucinations and such?

>>36211279
The Swiss government funds this entire enterprise. It's all a cleverly orchestrated psyop.

>>36211294
>We have many names.

I mean your actual name. The one on your ID card, I presume.

>>36211190
Well they resorted to a long list of antidepressants (mostly the tricylcic kind) anti-psychotics, antihistamines, propanolol, anything that sedates basically as well as dexamfetamine.
They said it was maintenance, not therapy or active measures, just making sure it didn't get worse, there was no point to therapy either, those options were explored.
I've been off all medications for 3-4 years now and I've improved a lot over time, I sleep better, live healthy, no paranoia or depression, no intense distress, big improvements for me.

>>36211224
I find it very difficult but not impossible, I've tried to create conditions where I was fuming with rage so intense that it almost made me rabid just to be able to let it out, to experience it so intensely that I couldn't not express it, it is difficult to let it out but it is hard to determine if this is due to SPD or related to violence and locking up in childhood. Why do you ask?

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>>36211293
That kind of day is it?

>>36211311
I know, I was just extending the joke. And yes, that's annoying.

https://youtu.be/WEhpAg1jLEQ

Have some cheery music.

>>36211288
I have first hand experience with schizophrenia in ny family and I can tell you that you are in no position to make the determination of whether or not the severity of your symptoms necessitates medication. You should follow the advice of the doctor fo your sake and the sake of those around you.

>>36210653
You nerds are a bunch of fags. I'm going to find all of you then I'm going to beat your asses Punks.

My depression is slowly overtaking me. I used to be good at pretending to be fine, but I can't do it anymore. People around me are getting worried.

>>36211288
>>36211334
Also what form of schizophrenia do you have?

>>36211324
>there was no point to therapy either,

They said that?

>, I've tried to create conditions where I was fuming with rage so intense that it almost made me rabid just to be able to let it out,

> it is hard to determine if this is due to SPD or related to violence and locking up in childhood. Why do you ask?

I ask because typicap SPD just don't feel such emotions, and that's why they don't react. You, however, are perfectly capable of having volcanoes inside you, so I'm not sure SPD is your deal.

Here's another list of SPD symptoms, tell me which ones fit you:

>Emotional coldness, detachment or reduced affect.

>Limited capacity to express either positive or negative emotions towards others.

>Consistent preference for solitary activities.

>Very few, if any, close friends or personal
relationship, and a lack of desire for such.

>Indifference to either praise or criticism.

>Little interest in having sexual experiences with another person (taking age into account).

>Taking pleasure in few, if any, activities.

>Indifference to social norms and conventions.

>Preoccupation with fantasy and introspection.

>>36211327
>I know, I was just extending the joke. And yes, that's annoying.

It's OK, Lord.

>>36211297
Memory loss, poor concentration, difficulty sleeping, uncontrollable/inappropriate crying or emotions in general, feeling like I am dying.

Hallucinations are dependent on how severe symptoms are/how poor my sleep is. Spiders, patterns, flashing lights, static tvs/oversaturated tvs. Garbled noises/can't understand people speaking.

Delusions are feeling like events are constantly coincidental or happening for some reason.

>>36211347

You'd find yourself sorely mistaken. Share your problems.

>>36211352

Take a name. Did anything trigger your depression?

>>36211396

Is there anything abusive in your past?

>>36211355
I am not sure, doctors now do not go by types of schizophrenia and just use general schizophrenia for every diagnosis.

I would say I am closer to catatonic or disorganized.

They just can't be trusted. Sometimes I hate them all. I just wanted to have a comfy night and watch anime. Instead it was totally derailled and became uncomfy.

>>36211431
Please don't urge him to look into his past, Nick. This does more harm than good. A schizophrenic can easily confabulate memories that seem to have caused their current predicament. He should not even be seeking advice here. He needs to stay on his medication. That's the only solution.

>>36211445

I don't think they made you drink. This happens when you drink. So don't drink.

Any possibility of killing them?

>>36211387
All of them to the T.
The 'volcanoes' were during depressions, fueled by powerlessness to change, a repeating pattern from childhood, it is no longer the case as I am consistently content so long as I'm left alone with no one imposing social obligations on me.

>>36211435
Ok, you should really continue taking medication at the frequency and dosage prescribed by your doctor. Are you doing that currently? Did he give you permission to dictate for yourself when you need the medicine?

>>36211465
>A schizophrenic can easily confabulate memories that seem to have caused their current predicament.

If you have a source for that, I'll take a look. There's an association about "False Memory Syndrome," but it isn't recognised by any psychiatric institution and was funded privately, most likely by rich people who abused their own kids. There's no serious evidence for "false memories" beyond leading questions and hypnosis.

>He needs to stay on his medication. That's the only solution.

I'm no expert, but finding out what the problem is is step one in recovery.

>>36211469
I've suggested it to my therapist and he insists that that would be a terrible idea (were it even possible).

Yeah, you're right. The trouble is, anime is mostly shite unless there's alcohol involved.

>>36211465
>>36211431
I am not that bothered by my past but I don't want to get into it because someone may know who I am. My memory is okay right now, I have been taking my medication recently.

I wasn't abused as a child but had a generally bad upbringing (irresponsible parent/missing parent).

>>36211473
>All of them to the T.

I'm confused. The first symptom is emotional coldnes and detachment, yet you clearly state that you have emotions and aren't detached.

Do you not want a girlfriend?

>>36211517
>I've suggested it to my therapist and he insists that that would be a terrible idea

Why? What did he explain about it?

>>36211519
>I wasn't abused as a child but had a generally bad upbringing (irresponsible parent/missing parent).

Abuse is more varied than you think.

http://www.blueknot.org.au/Resources/General-Information/Types-of-child-abuse

>>36211499
>There's no serious evidence for "false memories" beyond leading questions and hypnosis.
You can't be serious... Everyone has false memories, even people with hyperthymesia (highly superior autobiographical memory) have been shown to confabulate

>>36211486
My last doctor was just someone in a mental ward and I do not see him anymore.

Some people have been urging me to see a doctor irl, I am currently staying with family and they do not believe my symptoms are severe right now.

I am not opposed to taking the medication but there is really no purpose if you are not experiencing symptoms. I have a few refills left if there is some emergency.

>>36211535
From his perspective it would essentially just be replicating abuse.

>>36211568
>You can't be serious... Everyone has false memories

False memories as defined by the context which we were talking about. There's a huge difference between remembering something wrong (that's not a false memory) and remembering being molested by your parents when it never happened (that's a false memory).

I can try to find you the source of my information on that if you want.

>>36211568
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4229437/
I haven't read through this yet but it's related

>>36211575

If everything was fine, you wouldn't be here.

You should see a psychiatrist just to have someone keeping an eye on you. I also think your past needs to be investigated.

I have no idea what to do any more. Just feel empty and lifeless. Just living is unenjoyable. The only time I feel anything positive at all is when other people are talking to me, constantly reassuring me but not only can I not expect that all the time, in the end I just fuck up all my relationships anyway, either through my mood swinging at a really bad time, or just saying something awful, or just the paranoid thoughts I have about others getting to me. Don't even know what I hope to get out of this aside some brief attention. Sorry for posting.

Hey, you said the "crying spells" had something to do with me not being connected with my emotions. Is there a way to connect with them? I've never really felt too tuned in emotionally so I don't know if it's that

>>36211600
It's just varying degrees along the exact same continuum. I would like to take a look at your source.

>>36211521
>Do you not want a girlfriend?

No, people quickly turn into nothing but burdens.

>The first symptom is emotional coldnes and detachment

That fits the bill for stable periods without distress, the years before that and childhood were rather extreme and the situation was a rather uncommon one so my guess is that SPD is my 'normal' or stable way of being but something else might have been at play that may explain it, you are not the first to express confusion about these diagnostics, never the less I do not believe them to be incorrect, what would be an alternative possibility according to you?

>>36211585

Any known therapy he's using for you? What books have you read about DID yourself?

>>36211600
I would agree that my memory gets sort of wacky/extremely disorganized during an episode to the point that I become unsure of what is real or interpret normal social behavior strangely.

I also forget things that happened, even moments ago. Like I can't follow directions on Google Maps while experiencing severe symptoms because my short-term memory stops working normally.

>>36211663
I haven't read any desu. A few on BPD though.

>>36211616

I think confabulation and false memories really aren't the same.

>>36211621
I was just coming to this thread to speak to people who may relate/feel less alone.

>>36211600
>>36211639
There's really not a difference except for the magnitude of the error (clearly remembering someone as having worn a different color shirt versus clearly remembering being serially violated with a Tonka truck) as I see it. The same neurological foibles are underlying each.

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Here's what you do...

You make the popular kids at school have irreversible symptoms

>>36211623

Interesting situation.

Tell me more about:

>The only time I feel anything positive at all is when other people are talking to me, constantly reassuring me but not only can I not expect that all the time, in the end I just fuck up all my relationships anyway, either through my mood swinging at a really bad time, or just saying something awful, or just the paranoid thoughts I have about others getting to me.

Can you give me examples?

>>36211687
Maybe you're thinking of false memory syndrome as opposed to ordinary (and common) false memories.

>>36211691
Schizophrenia tends to disorganize short term memory more than long term. Such as being unsure of what street you are on or what building you are in.

I wasn't able to remember the name of a mental ward I stayed in for a week, I could still recall past events in vivid detail. I have read that schizophrenia is caused by overpruning and seems to target information that is new or not important.

>>36211624

Try thinking about it, figuring what you feel and when, and why. Make a conscious effort to understand why you feel a certain way. This may be a good first step.

>>36211639

I'll try to find it for you.

>>36211575
>>36211666
>>36211688
Is there any way for you to see a doctor? If so, that is the best thing you can do.

>>36211655
>No, people quickly turn into nothing but burdens.

But you tried, so at some point, you weren't against the idea. SPD folks normally don't even want to and are so disordered, it doesn't even happen in most cases.

>, never the less I do not believe them to be incorrect, what would be an alternative possibility according to you?

I don't know yet, but my problem with your SPD diagnosis is that it only works if you make exceptions. If you have to say, "Yes, I have that, but only when, only if, sometimes, etc," then it's not really accurate as a diagnosis.

I think you should go over the symptoms again and be way more literal. If it says, "emotional coldness", that's not "usually", it's all the damn time; if you feel emotions, strong ones sometimes, then that symptom is a no.

Try the list again and be impartial. Don't adapt to it. You certainly have something but it doesn't have to be that one.

>>36211715
There have been times when I've just broken down to people, both in person and online, and unsurprisingly nobody wants to deal with that in their lives. A part of me just thinks people are leading me on for some reason, can't imagine why they would want to communicate with someone like me otherwise. It's just impossible for me to fully believe what other people say. Not really sure what specifically you wanted as an example.

>>36211796
Probably in a couple months. You don't need to be too concerned, I haven't relapsed for a good while.

Antipsychotics make relapsing more severe and shrink your brain, not like I am missing out.

https://www.cchrint.org/2013/09/12/honey-they-shrunk-my-brain-study-confirms-antipsychotics-decrease-brain-tissue/

>>36211751
It can cause distortions across the full spectrum of memory.

>>36211846
That is exactly the kind of material you don't need to be reading. You shouldn't be fostering an aversion to the only thing that is a genuine solution to your disorder.
How much is your day to day life disrupted by this?

>>36211639
>It's just varying degrees along the exact same continuum.

I disagree. Confabulation from schziophrenics is one thing, while false memories from others is another thing entirely, and it has fraudulous origins.

FMSF = False Memory Syndrome Foundation

"The claims made by the FMSF for the incidence and prevalence of false memories have been criticized for lacking any evidence, and disseminating inaccurate statistics about the alleged extent of the problem.[2] Despite claiming to offer scientific evidence for the existence of FMS, the FMSF has no criteria for one of the primary features of the proposed syndrome - how to determine whether the accusation is true or false. Most of the reports by the FMSF are anecdotal, and the studies cited to support the contention that false memories can be easily created are often based on experiments that bear little resemblance to memories of actual sexual abuse. In addition, though the FMSF claims false memories are due to dubious therapeutic practices, the organization presents no data to demonstrate these practices are widespread or form an organized treatment modality.[21][22] Within the anecdotes used by the FMSF to support their contention that faulty therapy causes false memories, some include examples of people who recovered their memories outside of therapy.[2]"


Dallam, SJ (2001). "Crisis or Creation: A Systematic Examination of 'False Memory Syndrome'". Journal of Child Sexual Abuse. Haworth Press. 9 (3/4): 9-36. doi:10.1300/J070v09n03_02. PMID 17521989.

Walker, JA (2005). Trauma cinema: documenting incest and the Holocaust. Berkeley: University of California Press. pp. 64-5. ISBN 0-520-24175-4.

Olio KA (2004). "The Truth About "False Memory Syndrome"". In Cosgrove L; Caplan PJ. Bias in psychiatric diagnosis. Northvale, N.J: Jason Aronson. pp. 163-8. ISBN 0-7657-0001-8.

>>36211893
Not at all right now.

During an episode, I can't make food, remember to shower, articulate thoughts, sit still (need to pace) or stay lucid at all.

You seem to disregard my opinion/that article just because I have schizophrenia.

>>36211682

Explain to me how you don't read anything about your own condition when it's such a special type of condition?

>>36211846
I'm not going to badger you, but know that my life is the sad, withering, pathetic genetic tendril it is today thanks in no small part to the adverse effects of untreated schizophrenia. I just don't want that to happen to you or the people around you.

>>36211954
I just didn't see the point somehow. I also anticipated there being a lot of misinformation. Maybe on some level I was worried about what I'd find.

>>36211943
No, that is something you've imagined. I disregard it because it is antipharma propaganda.

>>36211688

Your condition is very serious and potentially dangerous to yourself and others. Depending on which country you're in, I can only urge you to see a psychiatrist, not just in passing, but one to keep track of you and see you regularly to make sure you're OK.

>>36211939
Ok, I think it's clear that you're talking about something else. We agree that memories which don't accurately map the past exist in the brains of everyone from the most disordered to the most average, yes? And that psychotics can and do confabulate?

>>36211691
>There's really not a difference except for the magnitude of the error (clearly remembering someone as having worn a different color shirt versus clearly remembering being serially violated with a Tonka truck) as I see it.

I'll explain why I make a difference:

Out of a hundred people

- most people will remember things imperfectly
- virtually no one will remember a whole event that never happened

- people may wrongly remember the colour of the postman's clothes
- virtually nobody will remember being raped by the postman

The difference is significant enough to make these two types of "memory errors" two distinct categories.

>>36211961
Not all people respond the exact same way to medication. Some schizophrenic people use no medication at all, and deal with it through taking care of themselves carefully.

I believe you, of course. I didn't do well on medication and it didn't stop/curb symptoms.

>>36211741

Since we were talking about abusive pasts, I can only assume you were thinking of remembering abuse where there was none, which is "False Memory Syndrome," the fraudulous crap paid for by people who probably abused their kids.

>>36211751
>I have read that schizophrenia is caused by overpruning and seems to target information that is new or not important.

Intense stress will also make you less likely to remember things short term. I'm not knowledgeable enough on schizophrenia to comment on overpruning.

>>36211837

This is fairly typical of Borderline Personality Disorder. Were you given reasons to mistrust when you were a kid? Say, someone you should have been able to trust and who betrayed you?

>>36212027
John Forbes Nash is an example, I believe. It's possible that that could prove the bes route in the end, but you must first contrast it with the alleviation a finely tuned meds regimin brings in order to say which works best.

>>36211969
>I just didn't see the point somehow. I also anticipated there being a lot of misinformation. Maybe on some level I was worried about what I'd find.

You still are.

You didn't go over and read the chat from last thread.

Perhaps you are scared to lose your people. If they stay, you're never alone, and that way you don't have to care too much about other people, because you have your own already, and they can't leave you. If they were gone, you'd have to carry each of their tasks as yourself, on your own, like a complete person.

You'd have to accept to that you kinda like Jack Off Jill.

>>36212096
The closest thing I can think of to what you're describing is in primary school, the other children would pretty much use me because I was the best at doing work, otherwise they would be pretty cruel. Only nice to me when they had to be or needed me I guess.

>>36212025
That's fine. I don't really mind the distinction but I do still see it as a continuum. I think normal people can have more emotionally charged memory distortions than misremembering colors.

>>36212023
>Ok, I think it's clear that you're talking about something else.

To be clear, this is what I was always talking about. You were talking about incorrect memories as happen to everyone every day.

Recap:

>tell anon to think of his past
>you say not to because schizos can remember stuff that didn't happen or they confabulate
>I mention False Memory Syndrome being BS
>I give sources
>you tell me I'm talking about something else

Anon says his long term memory is fine. I'm sure he can remember his past OK.

>>36212157
>You'd have to accept to that you kinda like Jack Off Jill.
The band? I don't think I understand.

>>36212119
>John Forbes Nash

This guy didn't even know his own son had schizophrenia too. I saw that in a documentary: he discovered, on camera, that his son also had schizophrenia. How little must one care about his child not to know something like this?

Lost all respect immediately.

>>36212184

Bullying counts.

What about your parents?

>>36212186
>I think normal people can have more emotionally charged memory distortions than misremembering colors.

Like what?

>>36210653
Hey, Nick. I've gone on this journey where I try the "be yourself" meme. But the thing is I find it difficult to find a woman to talk to. Where is the best possible place to find a woman to talk to? I don't wanna go bars of clubs because I don't want that type of woman in my life but when I go out I can't find any woman or at least approachable ones?

Good sides. I can keep a convo going and don't get stuck trying to find out what to say next, but at the same time, I find it difficult to initiate a conversation. ca u hep peez

>>36212215
>The band? I don't think I understand.

Do you not? Jack Off Jill is a band I had never heard until very recently and whose name I came across in Marilyn Manson's autobiography, almost 20 years ago.

"Very recently," meaning last night with you. "She" is pretty damn fond of Jack Off Jill.

You mean to tell me you don't remember hearing Jack Off Jill for at least half an hour?

>>36212212
Schizophrenics DO confablate and it is not False Memory Syndrome.
I'm saying it's not wise to pry into the mind of an untreated schizophrenic with reckless abandon and possibly place suggestions in his mind by rooting around for "abuse." Though, by the sound of it, you probably think that's bullshit and not possible

>>36212277
join club or activity you enjoy perhaps , would share a common interest and a reason to talk

>>36212259
My mother is helpful and supportive but she never really had any idea about the difficulties I've had, my father died 7 years ago after a long, complicated period where he had early onset Alzheimers.

>>36212277

My loved one I found on /b/ a long time ago. I'm not sure I'll be of good advice.

I'd recommend the Internet. If you want a smarter, more serious sort of women, go for websites that have more depth, not Tinder.

>>36212288
No. But I do know the band. They're alright. I used to listen to them now and again

>>36212321
>My loved one I found on /b/
How'd you do that? greentext perhaps if you have some time on your hands.

>go for websites that have more depth, not Tinder.
What website is that?

>>36212294
Anything that isn't treatment can potentially exacerbate the condition and information with high egoic relevance like past traumas could be a catalyst for something otherwise avoidable.

>>36212294

I didn't pry, I merely asked if he had an abusive past. This is not a leading question by any means.

Whether he recalls abuse or not doesn't automatically mean he recalls correctly, but at least we know he recalls it.

I merely asked him the question I ask everyone, as you know.

I wouldn't place suggestions of abuse in his mind. I'm always careful of not asking leading questions. Challenging people's views once I see something fishy is different.

>>36212302
>my father died 7 years ago after a long, complicated period where he had early onset Alzheimers.

I am sorry for your loss.

> she never really had any idea about the difficulties I've had,

How come?

>>36212327

You don't seem very surprised. Are you keeping that inside?

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>>36211327
indeeed it is

>>36212259
I'm thinking of the "rose color glasses" phenomenon where people's memories skew to present themselves in the best light, like remember yourself as the victor in an contest where you weren't, stuff like that. Really, I wouldn't be surprised by any amount of false memory.

>>36212346

>girl posts in a thread
>self-deprecating posts
>she posts her e-mail (I think, or I gave mine)
>80 b-tards try to chat her up, they're all retarded
>girl adds me
>instantly asks my opinion about taxidermy
>"THAT'S MY KIND OF WOMAN", I think to myself
>I respond that it's a somewhat morbid sort of craft but I can see beauty in it too
>turned out her taxidermy question was a test to weed out idiots
>we keep talking
>2 years LDR
>we meet in London
>we meet some more
>one day she wants to escape England
>I rescue her and we have lived together ever since
>until last February
>7 years together
>all gone
>nothing left
>end me

>>36212361
The only reason I said anything is because you asked that before recommending that he seek treatment (if I recall correctly, I haven't scrolled back up to check)

>>36212448
Kawaii desu ne! Is obviously not original

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>>36212414
One good Kaiji deserves another


>>36212393
Surprised that 'I' did something and don't remember? That's not news. That she likes that band? Meh, doesn't mean much either way. She likely likes Zombina and the Skeletones as well.

>>36212381
Between never finding school work difficult and being in my room enough that the emotional episodes were never really visible when they happened, there wasn't really much to go off. Any time I was particularly difficult in a way that was noticeable I think she mentally just put it down to going to a stressful school.

>>36212423

Just so we make sense: false memory means "memories that didn't happen at all", and not just incorrect memories.

Rose coloured glasses are even different, because the memory is often the exact same, but the interpretation and opinion of it is different.

If you had asked if a parent had exposed his genitals to me, at any age, I would have said no. And I would have meant it. Fact is, a parent exposed their genitals to me when I was ten. Did I forget? No. But since the exposure had been done under the guise of education and some more nonsense, I didn't categorise it as "indecent exposure" or anything of the sort, so much so that even a direct question about it would have led to 404 file not found in my kid mind. I categorised one as abuse and the other as "my autistic father misunderstanding things". He was never autistic.

>>36212450

I'm not sure this is true. In cases of hallucinations and very obvious brain dysfunctions of that sort, I always, invariably, recommend to seek a psychiatrist. I might check, but I do believe I recommended just that, if not before, after. I'l go check.

It doesn't matter. It's not like anon will suffer a seizue if I ask him a question about his past.

>>36212481
>Surprised that 'I' did something and don't remember? That's not news.

No, surprised that "you" listened to a band for 30 minutes and have no memories of it, even though, at the same time, you're supposedly always around somehow.

Zombina and the Skeletones were indeed in the picture.

>>36212493

Do you find your mother difficult to communicate with? Or that even if you did, she wouldn't actually get much insight about who you are and what you're dealing with?

>>36212448
;__;
/pay no attention to this/

>>36212559
Well, it happens. No big deal.

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>>36212450
>The only reason I said anything is because you asked that before recommending that he seek treatment (if I recall correctly, I haven't scrolled back up to check)

Turns out that was virtually the first damn thing I told him.

Pic-related.

>>36212500
You'd have to further constrain your definition to make it exclude what you're trying to. Misremembering the order of events produces a memory that "didn't happen at all." But that's not what you mean, is it? You're talking about completely fictitious events from start to finish. And I would still say both that it's not all that far removed from the other side of this dichotomy and that I assume this is possible, at least weaker forms than seeing genitals. Did you go to the post office a week ago and forget? Hmm, well maybe. Yeah, yeah, I guess I must have.
A uniqueness clause might also be in order for your distinction. They can't be memories of very commonly performed activities.

>>36212573
I've tried to communicate with her about my problems because well, I'm basically leeching off her right now and she deserves the effort, but it's super difficult and she doesn't really understand why I think and feel the way I do. So yeah, communicating with her is pretty hard a lot of the time.

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I don't know where to begin. I feel like everything is fucked up and I'm standing here like Gondola in the middle of the trainwreck that is my existence

>>36212609
No, that's not a recommendation.

>>36212609
>>36212650
I thought you might try to pass it off as one. That is a question about his history, not advice for the future. Honestly, Nick...

>>36212598

I don't know, I imagine, if it were me, that I'd be endlessly amazed at things "I" do but don't remember, and that I'd ask way more about it, that I'd even make sure I log my keyboard or some shit, or record my online session before I go drinking, so that I can see what "I" do when I'm not in charge completely.

You exhibit an impressive lack of interest in your own condition. There are a few possibilities:

1. you're scared, you don't know to know what they do/say

2. you want to preserve them all the same way a Narc preserves his false-self

3. you're trolling me very, very hard (inb4 aggressive reaction, we both know that's an OK thing to assume on such a website with such people, and we both know I've had people lie to me for way, way longer than you have; if you didn't know, you know now)

I've unironically come to the point of hating women.
Help me.

is there a sure fire way to check if this is a dream or not?

>>36212692
You keep bringing this up expecting me to get annoyed or something. Each time I've said it's fair enough to be suspicious. Sensible, really.

It's probably the first. If it's innocuous enough - what band they like - that's fine. But I am scared that they'll do something really dangerous at some point. So I'm hesitant to check over it. It's probably just the same boring crap anyway.

>>36212692
As for being endlessly amazed, I'm sure it's a novelty to you but for me it's mundane. It's nothing new.

>>36212622
>A uniqueness clause might also be in order for your distinction. They can't be memories of very commonly performed activities.

Since I was constantly talking about abusive events in the past, I assumed we both understood that doing the dishes or getting the post was not the subject here.

That said, your uniqueness clause means nothing in cases where abuse happened daily, weekly, monthly, or even yearly. If you get sodomised on a nightly basis, it ceases to be unique but remains abuse.

I think you're trying to make this way more complicated than it is. Completely made up memories are not in the same category as incorrect memories, just like a butterfly and a T-Rex aren't the same type of creature at all, even if you can put them on a common spectrum. Sure you can, but does it help us understand things or make it more difficult? No reason to make our task more difficult when there are ways to simplify and make more sense of things.

>>36212676
I'm pretty irritated to see this in you. That is clearly not a suggestion that he seek treatment. Even if you intended to mean it that way, you should have know that it is nowhere present in the words themselves and that being absolutely explicit that he reenter treatment before asking extraneous questions was what's called for.

>>36212623

Anything else about her that makes you feel inadequate?

Does she ask questions?

Does she listen to the answers?

Does she have a long attention span when you speak to her?

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Hello everyone!
I'll basically just tell u my life story.
In childhood i was emotionally abused and neglected.I witnessed domestic violence and my fathers alcoholism, he would always tell me how useless i was.In first grade i started binge eating.In middle school my anxiety and depression became more prevalent.In high the beginning of high school i had a mental breakdown. All my friends were leaving me. Therefore i stopped going. For all four years of high school i never left the house, never socialized. I dont remember much of what happend. This year i dropped out. It was a big relief to me.Now for more recent problems. For a year i was manipulated by a older man and raped every weekend. This event has really taken a toll on my sanity. Now my PTSD is even more severe. I also met this friend ive been talking to for almost two months. He is really important to me. we used to talk every single day, all day.Then all of a sudden he stopped. He hasnt said a word for a week. This really hurts me because when i form a bond with someone it never goes away. I dont sleep anymore.Ive lost touch with reality. Im suicidal everyday.I havent left the house in a month.And now i have an eating disorder. I usually dont eat for days, binge or puke. I really get mad at myself when i cant get it all up. Ive also recently been abusing drugs. Vicoden and sedatives.Anything i can find around the house cuz im poor af.But thanks for taking the time to read, if you did.

>Things i was diagnosed with
>Anxiety
>depression
>social anxiety
>CPTSD
>aspergers
>BPD
I also have attachment and trust issues.
Im so fucked up. :)

>>36212804
She regularly asks me things or throw ideas at me on what to do to improve but they're never really relevant to what I need, or something I've tried before, or something I've already considered myself. She listens to what I have to say though.

>>36212650
>>36212676

>No, that's not a recommendation.

It's a question, but it clearly suggests that this is what I think he should do too, just as when this happens:

"I got a headache."
"Did you take an aspirin?"

It's a question, but it clearly suggests that in case he hasn't taken an aspirin, he should. Same thing with my question. Further down the line I probably told him explicitly to seek a psychiatrist.

>I thought you might try to pass it off as one.

Why, because I'm all sneaky and stuff? I'm not trying to "pass it off" as one, it was one.

>That is a question about his history, not advice for the future. Honestly, Nick...

Don't honestly Nick me. It doesn't matter that much, I'm not arguing for my good name here.

>>36212777
No, I think memory actually is that complex. You've just asserted that they ought to be entirely separate categories without any real reason. Human biology is a continuous system, so it seems to me you're the one foisting this category artifice upon it.
I fail to see your point about the abuse but I'll reread it in a minute.

>>36212805
Kill the guy that raped you, then yourself

>>36212879
It doesn't suggest that at all and I'm alarmed that you don't so that. It is a question of historical fact that should have been followed up with explicit advice.

>>36212899
Tell me, whats your reasoning on why i should kill myself? I totally agree with you though. I am just a parasite to society.

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After my few casual questions, I did recommend seeing a psychiatrist, explicitly, though I maintain that the idea was already present in my very response to anon. Yes, I was going to tell him to see a psychiatrist, because that is what I invariably do to anyone with schizophrenia. You can look up any previous thread and this is what I always ask/recommend. I ask first because these anons most often already have a psychiatrist and are supervised. It's also nicer to ask instead of instantly going "You should see a psychiatrist."

I understand this upsets you for personal reasons but I think, at this point, you're letting it become too personal and are taking it out on me.

>>36212942
*don't see
I "honestly" you because you are attempting to communicate with mentally ill people and shouldn't take for granted that your question will be regarded as a command in their minds. Or really anyone's...

how do i get diagnosed with cptsd when that's not in the dsm or other book? its what i have basically from abusive parents

>>36212889
>No, I think memory actually is that complex.

I believe memory is complex, hence the need for more sophisticated categories than just "It's all the same on a spectrum."

>You've just asserted that they ought to be entirely separate categories without any real reason.

I gave you examples that showed clearly what the reason was: distorted reality VS made up reality, and how the first was more likely, by far, than the latter, and how the latter was not supported by evidence or experts.

>Human biology is a continuous system

The whole universe is, that doesn't mean we can't divise it to hone our understanding of it. You don't have to consider butterflies when you study T-Rex anatomy.

This is turning into an argument that runs on emotions and little else. I don't even know what you don't understand about my points and explanations.

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Has anyone tried ECT for anything? As much fun as zapping my brain is I don't feel like its particularly helpful. Some family says its helping me but I'm pretty sure they just are projecting the doctors words

>>36212698
Clocks and mirrors

>>36212698

Pinch yourself, make sure your spinning top stops spinning.

>>36212969
I know you did eventually, but I felt the priority of it was off.
Maybe you're right that I'm unduly annoyed because of my past. I will take a moment and reasses.

>>36212955
You're suffering every day. Do you really think you can be happy one day? Do you really want to continue living the way you do? End your suffering, be free.

>>36212748
>You keep bringing this up expecting me to get annoyed or something.

Can't fault me, you do get annoyed by me fairly often lately. Won't be the only one but still.

>But I am scared that they'll do something really dangerous at some point. So I'm hesitant to check over it. It's probably just the same boring crap anyway.

Wouldn't be better off knowing, then? What if she decides to your your credit card to buy all of Jack Off Jill's albums?

>>36212765

I'm still amazed at stuff like being conscious, falling asleep, being unconscious at night, etc, though it's been happening for a while now. What "they" do should be the novelty, not that they do it.

>>36213097
Hm, do I? I don't remember being annoyed with you at all.

>>36213089
they could be happy one day

>>36213097
I still have some kind of hope. Sometimes i feel better, but just for a little while. I'll probably kill myself soon though. Its not like anyone would give a shit anyway.

>>36213153
i woould anon

>>36212789
>I'm pretty irritated to see this in you.

I feel the irritation, I'm just not sure I'm entirely at fault for it.

> That is clearly not a suggestion that he seek treatment.

It suggests that if he doesn't, he should.

"I haven't been feeling well for 3 days."
"Have you seen a doctor?"

I don't know, to me, it sounds like in case you say, "No, I haven't," the other person would say, "Then you should," and that even if they don't say it explicitly, the suggestion is still in the air that this is what the person who asked the question things you should do.

>Even if you intended to mean it that way, you should have know that it is nowhere present in the words themselves and that being absolutely explicit that he reenter treatment before asking extraneous questions was what's called for.

I did mean it that way. The questions weren't extraneous in that having more information is always better for various reasons, including letting the anon know I actually give two fucks about him and will spend time with him and not just send him to seek professional help without doing more than that.

The extra knowledge is often useful to convince the person to seek professional help

>>36213147
Nobody cares what you think, they'll never be truly happy in life. Let them die and be at peace.

>>36213153
Give away everything you have before you do it. I'll see you in the next life.

>>36213036
That's a pretty uncharitable reductio, there.

im losing my mind, i cant stop losing weight im developing back problems from it. im a isolated kv neet

i want to die and i hate myself and im losing my mind

>>36213062
it didn't

>>36213057
how can you be sure the "dream" is infact the real reality and "life" is not the dream

>>36212805

Damn... That's a lot.

I don't see how you might have Asperger's, really, I'm amazed at how everyone is given the Asp nowadays, but given the rest, I doubt the Asp belongs.

We have a lot to discuss!

Were you diagnosed by a professional? Are you still seeing this person?

>>36212875
>She regularly asks me things or throw ideas at me on what to do to improve but they're never really relevant to what I need, or something I've tried before, or something I've already considered myself.

How does that make you feel?

And does she realise how it makes you feel?

>>36213221
no im sure my word is meaningless , i feel the same way as jess- but i dont know i want there to be something but at the end of the day who am i to stand in the way

>>36212942
>It doesn't suggest that at all

If you don't see it with the aspirin example, no further example will make you see it. I give up convincing you about this one.

>It is a question of historical fact that should have been followed up with explicit advice.

It was.

Interpretation is not a "historical fact". Most people get it, some don't, only the words themselves are facts here.

>>36212955

Will you please not listen to the trolls? Don't.

You aren't a parasite but there are parasites in your life and they're sucking the life blood out of you.

How did you get trapped once a week by the older man?

>>36213242
>>36213327
Fuck off, jess is mine and they're killing themself soon.

>>36213294
Please wake up.

>>36212805
Yep all my problems were diagnosed by a professional. The rapist? No im not. Hes in jail now. I have a court hearing coming up. Paranoid af about that. Im just super fucking sad about my friend not talking to me. :(

>>36212981
>shouldn't take for granted that your question will be regarded as a command in their minds.

I don't actually take that for granted. It is you who put such weight on my words, as if whatever I say will be blindly followed by some because of their mental illness. I never speak to anyone assuming they aren't in control of themselves, simply because if they aren't in control, I won't be able to help at all, but if they are, I have nothing to gain by treating them like irresponsible children. I don't give commands, either.

>>36212983

You can do this test:

http://www.synergiacounselling.com/the-complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-cptsd-test/

It will be in the DSM soon enough. Meanwhile, many conditions fall under CPTSD, you can get those instead.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201602/10-signs-narcissistic-parent

For your parents.

>>36213340
i wish i new how anon

>>36213348
Tell your friend your life story, then kill yourself.

>>36213390
Drive a knife through your palm, the pain should wake you up.

>>36213067
>I know you did eventually, but I felt the priority of it was off.

Well, you're wrong. The priority is establishing contact with the person and showing I actually care. If someone who apparently doesn't give a fuck about you gives you advice, you won't give it much thought; if someone seems to care and proves it, you're more likely to listen to what he tells you. If I had started with the recommendation, it would have been as a fart in water.

>Maybe you're right that I'm unduly annoyed because of my past. I will take a moment and reasses.

I think so, you don't behave this way usually. The schizo anon stirred some stuff in your past, and you may have projected this onto me and told me not to go dig the past, because you don't want to go dig in yours, possibly.

>>36213089

You're not helpful, and for a troll, you aren't being funny, either.

So either dazzle us with your wit and humor, or earn my respect with your silence.

>>36213124

You saw me as a threat. Your other ones don't like me except for "her". You reacted negatively to my humor last night, as yourself.

>>36213340
I haven't had any friends since i was 14. I trusted him to much. And he manipulated me.

>>36213457
I'm not a troll, I speak my truth.

>>36213481
How did he manipulate you?

any uk anons know if a doctor will prescribe me anti depressants without seeing a therapist ? got an assessment in may but i wont last that long

>>36213153

I assume you're Facet.

I would give a shit, of course. You should inform your therapist, and I advise you to start individual therapy as well. Group is cool and all but you don't use it quite the way it was intended to. You need to find a specialist for DID.

With most personality disorders, it's a defense mechanism that's maladaptive later in life, past childhood and the hostile environment. Since DID has a similar origin, it probably has a similar ending. Meaning: they must all go. Unlike your current therapist, I'm not convinced that indulging you and "them" will work. Maintenance, probabyl, cure, nope.

>>36213479
Ah, alright. Well for that, I apologise.

>>36213221

I told you guys to take names. Is this the troll, is this Facet?

>>36213259
It's frustrating and kind of annoying I guess, like I know she's trying to help probably but iunno. I think she knows too, or I'm better at hiding my discomfort than I think.

>>36213533
The other anon is not me. Interesting that you think I'm suicidal.

>>36213550
I don't need a name, what matters is my words. Stop being mean to Facet, she's a beautiful woman.

>>36213231
>uncharitable reductio

Certainly not. But it's easier to just accuse me of logical fallacies and leaving it at that than it is to argue the points I argued.

Don't say something is a logical fallacy unless you show how, otherwise it's just name-calling and proves nothing.

I assume this means you give up arguing.

>>36213505
I was lonely af and vulnerable.Told all kinds of things i wanted to hear.

>>36213234

Describe losing your mind, please.

>>36213340
>Fuck off, jess is mine and they're killing themself soon.

I advise you to stop this soon enough.

>>36213348
>my friend not talking to me. :

Why aren't they?

>>36213604
Have you tried your hand at manipulating others? Your experience in being manipulated could help you manipulate others and get what you want.

>>36213438
You can show someone you care without immediately jumping to the abuse question. It's subjective, of course, but placing priority on making it clear that medicine is what is required is not wrong. I don't like the tendency to inquire into "abuse" either, rather than neutrally phrasing it as a question about their overall past well-being.
Am I being hostile? I don't think so. I sense more of that from you. You seem bent on disagreeing even when I'm trying to find common ground.

>>36213417

Calm down Facet.

>>36213508

A GP should be able to, yes. Here they do. They just might in the UK, especially if you have a previous prescription.

>>36213649
Idk why. They just sent me vague messages and stopped talking to me. Its been a week now.

>>36213563

Or she isn't able to understand you on a deeper level than just superficial things. Would you say she knows you on a psychological level? Like she really knows you?

>>36213604
No i couldn't do that. I have too much empathy.

>>36213582

I didn't think you were, but since I assumed this was you, considering you drop your trips more than the average robot drops his spaghetti, I thought you were giving us some revelations on your feelings.

>>36213593

That doesn't do much to convince me.

>>36213680
If you already have no self value, send them a few nudes. They'll most likely respond to that.

>>36213603
I'm going to respond to it. I'm not even keen on having an argument. That seems to be what you want. I don't think the difference between our positions is a very wide one, as it happens, but then you go on to wildly exaggerate my inclination for theoretical inclusivity by bringing up the butterfly dinosaur bullshit and I'm the one behaving inappropriately?

>>36213704
Definitely not. Honestly she barely knows me much at all.

>>36213508
They can, just request them.

>>36213726
Well just as a note on that, when I do it's just because I 'm posting in other threads and not intentional

>>36213676
not had a previous prescription

>>36213734
ok, thankyou emi

>>36213656
>You can show someone you care without immediately jumping to the abuse question.

My first question was about whether he had seen a psychiatrist. The question about his past came later. In most cases of anons having mental issues here, a vast majority have abuse in their past, it is therefore normal for me to ask.

> It's subjective, of course, but placing priority on making it clear that medicine is what is required is not wrong.

I feel like you're not reading me. To make this suggestion weigh anything, you first need to have some credibility and trust.

>I don't like the tendency to inquire into "abuse" either, rather than neutrally phrasing it as a question about their overall past well-being.

That's your problem. You don't like to inquire about your own past abuse so you imagine that nobody should to ease off the pressure.

>Am I being hostile? I don't think so. I sense more of that from you.

You didn't get any "Honestly, Meta..." from me.

>You seem bent on disagreeing even when I'm trying to find common ground.

You must be kidding. I have explained my points with examples and my reasons. Facing this, you called it a logical fallacy and moved on as if nothing. You aren't trying to find common ground. I have no idea what you're trying to do, but I think my points and reasons were clear enough and made perfect sense.

>>36211831
>But you tried, so at some point, you weren't against the idea.

I did. I felt as if that would solve my depression, I never felt loved by anyone and it was made out to be something important and potent, I thought that way I could set aside my introspective hell and function by doing it for someone else. I was young and did not have a realistic view or reference.

>>36211387
>>Emotional coldness, detachment or reduced affect.

I think people are far too emotional or assign far too much importance on how they feel about something, I don't feel strongly either way, the exceptions being on drugs, in depressions or psychosis. I'm quite good at reading people but sometimes blind to what is obvious for others, I simulate their mind and tend to over-complicate things in simple people . I consider myself misanthropic, generalized disdain and contempt for people fits, I've resolved to being indifferent, 'why even bother expending the thoughts or the energy?'

>Limited capacity to express either positive or negative emotions towards others.

I'm good at expressing myself rationally but expressing emotions depends on simulations and mirroring.

>Consistent preference for solitary activities.
Check.

>Very few, if any, close friends or personal
relationship, and a lack of desire for such.

Check, I see people once every week or 2 to prevent degradation of social skills and such.

>Indifference to either praise or criticism.

Depends if there is reason to care, otherwise no.

>Little interest in having sexual experiences with another person (taking age into account).
Have explored this in recent years, conclusion: generally not worth the bother.

>Taking pleasure in few, if any, activities.
Check, just riding on a bike through forests and countryside really.

>Indifference to social norms and conventions.
Check

>Preoccupation with fantasy and introspection.
Check though this has decreased.

>>36213680

Vague messages saying what? Did you ask them?

>>36213733
>I'm not even keen on having an argument. That seems to be what you want.

Stop putting everything on my back: the hostility, the desire to argue, the disagreeing, etc. Keep in mind that you started this by reacting to how I was talking to someone else (who had no problem with my priorities) and made a private, personal problem of yours the subject of the conversation here. I explained my points. I'm not looking for an argument, but if you tell me I should do this instead of that, and I disagree, I will tell you why, as I did. I still think it made sense.

>wildly exaggerate my inclination for theoretical inclusivity by bringing up the butterfly dinosaur bullshit and I'm the one behaving inappropriately?

I didn't think it was bullshit. To me, relative to the purpose of those things, a completely made up memory and a memory that distorts reality are vastly different, enough to warrant a different category, so that they mean something separate.

And yes, as to behaving inappropriately, calling something a fallacy or other and leaving it at that is not very constructive, especially when it's wrong.

>>36213734
>Definitely not. Honestly she barely knows me much at all.

That's worrying, for a mother. Anything more abusive, as in, she makes you feel bad frequently while seeming to "care" through questions and acts? Trust your feelings on this.

>>36213829
I may be doing it poorly but I genuinely am trying to find common ground. I've been trying to take a step back from emotions for a while now but you just keep responding with more charged rhetoric so I haven't yet had the chance to lay out exactly where the disagreement lies.
You know damn well what I'm suggestion about memory is not akin to your example. Please don't pretend that is a measured way of proving your point.
I am serious about wanting to find common ground without any riled feathers. I hope we can do that. I will continue after you respond to this.

>>36213742

I know. Happens to me too sometimes.

>>36213844
>I think people are far too emotional or assign far too much importance on how they feel about something,

You feel this way because you don't feel what they do, but try to understand that most people feel things this way, and that it's normal.


I've read the rest. Give me examples for:

>Indifference to social norms and conventions.

And a question: do you enjoy communicating with people on this board?

>>36213958
I obviously wasn't trying to be constructive there because it made me angry. I wish you wouldn't act as though that is a nice way of stating an argument. You know two scales of continuity are completely different.
I also have been waiting for us to get back on track, but the staggered nature of the responses keeps dragging us into wha we should have been able to move on from.

>>36213997
>You know damn well what I'm suggestion about memory is not akin to your example. Please don't pretend that is a measured way of proving your point.

I'm not so sure I know what your point is as well as you think.

>I am serious about wanting to find common ground without any riled feathers. I hope we can do that. I will continue after you respond to this.

Just remind me what you disagree on.

>>36214101
>I obviously wasn't trying to be constructive there because it made me angry.

OK. I guess I'll give you a pass for that. Do I even have a choice?

> I wish you wouldn't act as though that is a nice way of stating an argument.

I don't know what you're think of specifically here.

>I also have been waiting for us to get back on track, but the staggered nature of the responses keeps dragging us into wha we should have been able to move on from.

I'm all caught up now.

What exactly is this thread for? Do you just want to hear about experiences that led to mental disorders?

>>36213975
what if the answer to this was yes?

>>36214167
>Do you just want to hear about experiences that led to mental disorders?
Yes, it gets me hard like nothing else does.

>>36214167
>What exactly is this thread for?

It's for you. For help. In cases where I can't help by giving advice or information, I ask questions and listen.

If I asked about your past, that is because most disorders come as a result of mistreatment in childhood and later.

>>36214187

To whether one's mother knows one "innerly"? Then it'd move the narc diagnosis further away.

>>36214091
>examples for indifference to social norms and conventions

Rude or insensitive comments 'you can't just say that!', can't dress appropriately or well matched or just 'odd', I've been called 'eccentric', I misjudge boundaries and intentions. Quickly feel the need to seclude myself, the way I sit or make eye contact is frequently noticed or criticized.

>And a question: do you enjoy communicating with people on this board?

Rarely, but sometimes, I mostly lurk with the occasional shitpost if I think of something really good.

>>36213975
hmm, she regularly wants me to do stuff I don't particularly want to but I really do think it's down to her wanting to see me do soommeething. It's probably my own fault she doesn't really know me much anyway.

>>36213853
He said "Like honestly im so sorry" and "we all have to learn from our mistakes. I asked him but he never responded.

>>36214355
>'you can't just say that!'

Example of things you say?

>>36214407
>It's probably my own fault she doesn't really know me much anyway.

You are her child. She had ways to know you before you could speak. Before you could walk. Don't take more responsibility than is yours.

>>36214122
I started to try to refine the definition to exclude what memory distortions normal people commonly experience. This was just for clarity sake, trying to devise a category that would work because I thought there was enough definitional ambiguity there to warrant it. Then you say I'm overcomplicating things and there are completely seperate categories of memory dividing "completely made up" from simple errors. I think that is not robust enough and there is enough commonality between them to employ a continuum or at least a very precise definition, again as I was beginning to try to formulate. There's more but I have to scroll up and look.

>>36214441

Did that make any sense to you? Sorry about what?

>>36214482
>I think that is not robust enough and there is enough commonality between them to employ a continuum

What benefit do you get from using a continuum instead of two categories?

>>36214450
I don't remember exactly but it always comes down to not tiptoeing around emotions and just saying what the issue is in a way that may be painful or uncomfortable for others. I put it bluntly but very accurately while disregarding emotional frailty of others.

>>36214546

Disregarding emotional frailty of others is very different from merely not perceiving it.

If you disregard it, that means you know you'll hurt, offend, shock, but you do it anyway. That's a very different diagnosis.

>>36214484
Nope not at all. Hes just super suicidal.

>>36214474
While I understand where you're coming from, my mother had a lot on her plate. Would rather not bore you with the details but I feel like she would be somewhat justified since I tried to keep it from her.

>>36214631
You two should work out a suicide pact

>>36214631
>Hes just super suicidal.

He is? In a real way or a pretend way?

>>36214631
We did. :)

>>36214635
>While I understand where you're coming from, my mother had a lot on her plate.

While this is certainly true, it makes no difference. It's still important for you to see whether you were and are treated normally or not. Having had a hard past is no excuse to give the same to one's own children.

>justified since I tried to keep it from her.

Make sure she isn't the reason you try to keep it from her to begin with.

>>36214688
Yea he is for real.

Lmao what an underage cringefest this thread is.

>>36214699

You keep quoting the wrong posts. Also, are you Jess? If so, can you keep your name?

>>36214541
You could have categories for simplicity's sake so long as they permit borderline cases. In general, the distinction between categories and a continuum isn't even hard and fast as I'm concerned. But I think there isn't anything intrinsically different in what is referred to as "completely made up" and "just incorrect" other than magnitude of the time slice in question and neurological likelihood. I don't think I am guilty of trying to divine the nature of the ocean by diddling around in bathtub when I say that those are more continuous than discrete.
I suppose I also suspect you are downplaying the likelihood for rather profound lapses in memory accuracy, but wading through a mass of studies to find the answer doesn't appeal to me. I'm willing to listen, though.

>>36214722
>Yea he is for real.

In that case, if you think he is about to kill himself, perhaps you should call someone? If you really think he's about to commit suicide, that's what you do.

In doubt, go see him, insist, and get him to seek professional help.

lol yea sorry im a newfag. :)

Why don't you open a discord server instead of forcing people to adopt names. Or, better yet, take your shitty thread to reddit.

>>36214726
>Lmao what an underage cringefest this thread is.

All we were lacking was a massive lmao-spewing cringo like you. Our lives are complete now.

idk who to call he lives in another country

>>36214699
Go through with it. If you both don't want to live, then die together.

>>36214753
>>36214778
>>36214699
Is the concept of lurking familiar to you? Try it, maybe /r9k/'s quality will improve. I mean, you don't even know how to quote. How retarded must you be to use a site whose functions you don't understand

>>36214799
If only he lived closer. And im poor af to buy a plane ticket.

>>36214811
What's the point in lurking if they're ending their life soon?

>>36214721
are you implying that the mother could be being malicious while under the ruse of trying to help ?

>>36214824
Why not have him buy a plane ticket? Or do it over skype?

>>36214849
Were both super poor. Plus he's banned from my country.But yea skype sounds good.

>>36214730
>I say that those are more continuous than discrete.

Perhaps this next piece of info should help: one huge, enormous, significant, decisive distinction is that memory distortions do occur while "completely made up memories" do not. There is no scientific evidence for this.

Because one exists and the other does not, I refute the idea of a spectrum, because to be on the spectrum, you need to exist. It's less like butterflies and T-Rexes and more like butterflies and mermaids now.

>I suppose I also suspect you are downplaying the likelihood for rather profound lapses in memory accuracy,

You'd be wrong, as I am well aware of a number of classic experiences done about memory which showed how very inaccurate humans are in remembering things, and how the process of remembering is very creative and there is seldom a direct connection to the event, and, instead, a copy of a copy of a copy and so on and so forth. I'm thinking of the experience where the same group of people see a car crash and get asked questions with different words, and how they associate certain elements with certain words and how the questions influence the memories, specifically with regards to whether or not there was broken glass in the accident (none of the cars had window panes, so there was no broken glass, but many imagined remembering broken glass).

So no, I am not downplaying anything. I even include memories of alien abductions which turn out to be distorted memories of sexual abuse, which shows you my "incorrect memories" cover a huge ground.

I honestly believe "False Memory Syndrome", since it is not supported by any experts, to be organised gaslighting and financed by people who have something to hide. Thanks to this bullshit, many people, without malevolence, spread the idea that it's completely possible to "remember things that never happened", which is of course a boon to abusers. (cont.)

Sociophobe here
Fear of seeing people
Fear of seeing people of my age
Kiddos and old people are OK for me
Not 17-23 year olds
Also I like looking at dead nonwhites
Am I on the way on becoming Elliot 2.0
Gun control here tho, and not thinking on doing anything
Went to a psychiatrist a year ago, gave extreme doses of medicaments, made me more fat as well took my willpower and strength away
Anything I can do

>>36214730


When you have to make efforts to convince yourself that you are not insane, that you do remember the abuse, that your abusers are lying to you, it doesn't help to have hoaxes of that sort give some semblance of seriousness and academic credit when it is in fact nothing but financed lies.

>>36214885
Sounds like a plan, set up a time for both of you to kill yourselves on skype and join eachother in the afterlife.

>>36210653
> be 18 years old
> best friend have a gf for 2 years
> only briefly know her as I was not in the same city
> properly talk with her on a party when I was visiting
> 6 months in we all moved to the same city for uni
> chick dig me for some reason, inb4 suck my dick
> say no because bros over hoes, notify friend, say I cut all the ropes
> she start stalking me, literally coming to my house everyday, staying near by flat for hours, sending poetry and writing shit on social media
> she dumps my friend after 6 months of mentally abusing him
> I move to a different city because of work opportunity, my friend feels it's my fault so we drift apart
> 8 months in I learn my friend jumped from 12th floor, killing random woman
> it's my and her fault, he emphasized in his last letter
Sooo now I'm 25 and I have not fallen in love since then. I tried to keep close relation with one girl, she was my gf for like 2 months but I had mental breakdown, close to killing myself, and eventually ran away after a random job offer to a different country.
I don't deserve human interaction, or at least that's what I subconsciously do to myself.

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>>36214564
>That's a very different diagnosis.

Do tell

>>36214753
>lol yea sorry im a newfag. :)

All right. Listen, if anyone sounds like a dick here, don't pay attention, don't respond. You'll waste your time.

>>36214758
>Why don't you open a discord server instead of forcing people to adopt names.

I don't force anyone, but if you want me to remember you, a name will be useful. You can also a photo of your fucking face on every post, that way you don't need a goddam name.

>Or, better yet, take your shitty thread to reddit.

Be offended if you must, but there are way people who need help here on this board than on Reddit, and, as you know, the dynamic is not the same, and Reddit is not my home.

Why don't you choose to do things you enjoy instead of coming to threads you don't like to say you don't like them? Do you really think it matters that much?

>>36214912
If I look for evidence that these occur and present it, are you going to dispute that whatever I come up with is not "completely made up?"

>>36214778

Chances are he doesn't mean it.

If you have any questions on how to use this place, let me know.

You should ask your friend for some information on how to help him in case things go wrong. Try to contact him.

>>36215032
>>36215072
Fuck off Nick, if they want to die you can't force them to live and suffer

>>36214912
Whatever the upper limits are isn't the point, really. Whatever falls below that can be the spectrum.
What about memories of fantasies or daydreams that become incorporated into the store of autobiographical info? Where do you place that? Do you believe that occurs?

>>36214824

Jess, stop responding to trolls. Doing so ensures they'll stay and annoy everyone. It's like pigeons, don't feed the pigeons or they'll shit on everything around.

>>36214844
>are you implying that the mother could be being malicious while under the ruse of trying to help ?

Her mother specifically? I don't know yet, but can mothers do this? Absolutely. When someone "helps" and you feel bad about it, that's what it is. Repeated, it makes you feel worthless, and is often used against you, "After all I've done for you!" It's ammo to some people. Not love.

>>36214849

Can you just fuck off?

>>36214885

Just stop talking to him, goddam. Why is your friend banned?

>>36215151
He was making bombs for fun.

I've never been diagnosed, but I get really depressed and just want to die. I'm lonely and don't interact with people correctly. I have no direction in life, and I don't think I could ever get a stable job even. It hurts so much to even try to apply, and nobody wants me anyway.
I keep thinking that I'll buy a gun one day to end it, probably when I'm done with college.

>>36214917
>Went to a psychiatrist

What was his diagnosis and how long did you see him?

>>36215231
Did he ever use them? Could he use one for your suicide pact?

I'm a pretty smart guy with a lot of potential, but almost 0 motivation to do anything.
also, I had a friend, who happens to be a girl, that was a lot like me and I had a crush on her. but one day I took a step back and looked at her in a more objective way and saw that she could be not so nice from time to time. so I stopped talking to her one day and we haven't talked since then. now, I regret it very much and I want to talk to her again, even if we were just friends and nothing more.
during the time i wasn't talking to her, I started talking with another girl, and started to like her. after a month or so, i discovered she was a lesbian. it wasn't nice.
and all the time my wasted potential is floating somewhere in the back of my mind and making me fill like garbage.

>>36215151
Like I definitely understand your point here, I do feel pretty worthless most of the time and it doesn't really help, but I also wouldn't say it's ammo to her or anything; she's not really going so far as pushing me towards getting a job or anything so eh

>>36215269
2 times, she said I had some sort of a sociophobia
The medicaments made it much worse
I could not lie about using them as she did not believe me and wanted for me to increase my dose
so I stopped
Planning on seeing a psychologist but it costs a lot of shekels

>>36215004
>say no because bros over hoes, notify friend, say I cut all the ropes

What's the point of cutting all the ropes since, obviously, things won't go well with her and your friend from now on? You're right to cut contact since she cannot be trusted.

>she start stalking me, literally coming to my house everyday, staying near by flat for hours, sending poetry and writing shit on social media

Potential BPD.

>8 months in I learn my friend jumped from 12th floor, killing random woman

That's pretty brutal. Damn...

>it's my and her fault, he emphasized in his last letter

It's not. You did nothing wrong, Dog. For one, you rejected her, you refused to cuck your friend. For two, you informed him.

There's literally nothing better you could have done. Nothing is your fault here.

He became involved with an abusive person who abused him. He had issues he had not resolved, and she took advantage of that. None of this is your fault.

But see it this way: the fact that he killed himself for revenge and wrote this in the suicide note shows that his intentions were negative towards you. He didn't just want to die, he may have killed the both of you as well. Your "friend" was as mentally unstable as his girlfriend, and he tried to hurt you.

Don't let him succeed. I feel sorry for him, but you need to protect yourself. You did nothing wrong and you were wrongly attacked.

>>36215028

I see you, Death.

Well, it's too soon for now but if you are aware that you hurt people and do it anyway, it's not ignorance.

Do you get anything from dropping truth bombs and blowing people's minds?

Do you like it when they react like, "You can't say that, anon, what the hell?!!"?

Does it make you feel special, different from other people, and valued for it?

>>36210653
I have lurked many threads but I haven't seen this question asked so I will just ask it:
What are your credentials in psychology?

Please remember I do not ask disparagingly but out of curiosity.

>>36215054
>If I look for evidence that these occur and present it, are you going to dispute that whatever I come up with is not "completely made up?"

That "completely made up" memories occur? If you focus on the schizophrenic population, I won't have anything to say about it because I haven't studied that particular subject. Can schizos hallucinate memories? I don't exclude it.

>>36215151
>Can you just fuck off?
Not him but you aren't following your own rule, and you can't rule out the possibility that Jess is a sophisticated troll replying to themself.

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Nick, I will want to talk to you about what transpired earlier over email. I will explain a few things.

>>36215146
>Fuck off Nick, if they want to die you can't force them to live and suffer

If they want to die, they have a mental illness and this can be helped. Nobody just wants to die, there's always a reason. You don't want to die the same way you want vanilla ice cream.

You just want to feel like a by proxy murderer. Just get bent.

>>36211752
Sorry I took so long to reply
The problem is I'm usually not feeling anything or don't know what I'm feeling, the former more than the latter

>>36215490
But in the psychologically normal population you believe it is completely impossible, correct?

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>>36210653
>pressed the wrong button while listening to music and made the music start all over again

>>36215150
>What about memories of fantasies or daydreams that become incorporated into the store of autobiographical info? Where do you place that? Do you believe that occurs?

Such as what? Someone fantasises about being a fireman and later on recalls being a fireman as if it really happened?

I personally haven't come across this type of case. In the non-schizophrenic population, I don't imagine it happens often.

However, I doubt that when someone recalls abuse, that they made it up.

For my personal case, whenever these things happened, it was almost like a voice in me said, "Remember this." I remember few things from my childhood, but these events stand out. For others, they may be repressed or not explored later in life. I didn't think about them for long periods of my life, though they were not forgotten.

>>36215231
>He was making bombs for fun.

Perhaps you should reconsider the type of people you associate with. He made bombs in a foreign country?

>>36215542
Why is everything caused by mental illness with you? If a man loses everything he loves and wants to die because of it, that doesn't make him mentally ill. I don't want to commit murder by proxy, I don't want people to suffer needlessly.

>>36215266

Your life is more potent than you know. Getting a job is more likely than you think.

You most likely have a condition that makes life harder for you.

You also have "learned helplessness", most likely.

You must not have been validated much in your past. Don't give up.

Tell me about your parents.

>>36215350

Time, wasted or not, passes all the same. It's a matter of regretting what you had and lost, or what you never had and never lost. Don't worry about it.

Explain how the first girl wasn't nice.

>>36215356

Do you feel better or more tired after you spent time with your mother?

>>36210653
Okay i'm 21 years old and this is my first women interaction.

There is this girl, i always liked her and it seemed like we get alongpretty good.
I now know her since 6 months but i only started to do things regulary(talk with her in uni and eat together) with her like 1-2 months ago.

In this 1-2 months i found out that she has depression and other disorders because we always talked to each other and messaged us.

In these 1-2 months she started to say things like that i'm cute and important?
Also that she would miss me and would have a bad life if i would be gone.
Than she asked me if i want to do something with her like this :

>"T...t....Tom can i ask you something?
>"I like you....reallly much....do you want to do something with me after uni?"

The "Date" i guess, went really good and we had much fun and said that she would like to do something again with me.
Furthermore she told me that i'm one of the most important person now and the best friend.
She also told me that i'm the only one that brings her to laugh in bad times.
She also draws sometimes a heart on my arm.

After all this i asked if she wants more and she only said not at the moment, and that we should stay friends for now and look how it develops.

Doesn't let's see how it develops mean fuck off in women language?
Should i look for another one?

>>36215361

Twice is not enough for a serious diagnosis.

>some sort of sociophobia

is not a diagnosis. That's some half-assed job right there.

Do see a psychologist. You can stick around and tell me more about your symptoms without forgetting your name.

>>36215473
>What are your credentials in psychology?

You haven't seen this question yet? I'm asked once per thread on average.

I have degrees in other subjects, masters, but none in psychology proper. I studied it for three years at a lower level, and studied it on my own, in books, but also in people. My job has me interact with hoomans in many ways. My past unfortunately gave me experience and knowledge on some pathologies, and I essentially spend my life trying to solve other people's problems. As long it does some good, I continue.

I've considered getting a psych degree and doing this as a job, however.

I appreciate your curiosity and tact.

>>36215520
>Not him but you aren't following your own rule,

Which one?

> and you can't rule out the possibility that Jess is a sophisticated troll replying to themself.

I've considered it, but since Jess presents herself as having a problem, I prefer to risk being trolled than to risk rejecting someone wh needs help.

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>>36215454
In truth I like having the capacity to hurt or control them in a way that they can't do to me.

>>36215527

Fine with me. I am not angry at you, by the way. I like you and I know that I don't let things go and argue everything to death, but that's because it matters to me what you think (even if it may not seem that way, that's the reason why I insist).

I feel like I need to see a shrink, but I'm afraid my family will use that against me as hard evidence I am actually crazy.

>>36215562

Look up schizoid disorder, tell me what you think. (I don't assume you have it, but I want your reaction to it.)

Well I may be crazy but at least I got Slimmer of the Week. Lost 3.5lb this week. I owe this victory to poor self-care. Unless there's someone here (i.e gf) I tend to just forget to eat. Especially if I'm drinking. So I won a fruit basket and some cuppa soups. Yay!

>>36215726
More tired most of the time

>>36215681
I don't have much of a relationship with them, honestly if they died it'd be a relief. I'd get their money and wouldn't have to deal with them.

I hate when people say things will turn out alright, thats not guaranteed.

>>36215579
>But in the psychologically normal population you believe it is completely impossible, correct?

As a precaution, I never say "completely impossible" if I am not 100% certain. What I would say is that people who recall abuse, suffer no schizophrenia, and weren't led on by questions or hypnosis, those normally haven't made their memories up, or at the very least, there's no evidence to suggest that.

That's about as far as I'd go.

>>36215585

Enjoy the music again.

>>36215667
>Why is everything caused by mental illness with you?

Everything no. Depression is a mental illness, it doesn't cause itself, it's caused by other things, including personality disorders and such.

> If a man loses everything he loves and wants to die because of it, that doesn't make him mentally ill.

No, but that's still a mental state, and that shouldn't warrant suicide. If the person is healthy mentally, he will get over it in time. If not, he may be pushed over the edge. If it lasts a long time, it can become depression.

> I don't want people to suffer needlessly.

People who openly talk about suicide very often want to hear you tell them they shouldn't, to feel valued. When you just confirm that they are worthless to you as they feel they are to themselves, you make them suffer needlessly.

>>36215427
Thanks man. I know that she was a poisonous person, sometimes I look her up just to see what she is up to but I should definitely stop, that shit ruins me for days.
My friend I knew for my whole life up to that point. He got ruined by her and I did not stop him. I walked away, leaving him in this shit until it broke him down. I do not have hard feelings to him, neither do I to her. I do not understand myself anymore, I can calmly think about all of it and yet just break apart in any intimate relationship.

Guess I'm ruined, I should finally speak about it to some living being face to face. No one have any idea about it except for my father, but he chose to never speak about it either.

>>36215735
>Doesn't let's see how it develops mean fuck off in women language?

No, it means you're going too fast. If she wanted you to fuck off, you'd know it, and you'd not be seeing her again.

Just relax and enjoy your time with her.

You're already thinking about finding someone else, are you impatient?

She draws HEARTS on you!

She has issues, which makes it difficult for her to open up to you, but she drew hearts on you to make sure you GET the message.

If she spends time with you, don't worry. Just give her time, make her feel reassured, don't pressure her. Don't make her feel like a meatbag.

>>36215813

That too indicates a very different diagnosis, my scary friend.

Do you feel like they may betray you at any point?

Do you think trust is weakness?

>>36215856
>I feel like I need to see a shrink, but I'm afraid my family will use that against me as hard evidence I am actually crazy.

Your shrink could then write you a certification that you are not "crazy". Is there no way you can see someone without them knowing?

>>36215755
3 times, 2 hours each time
Like I said
I fear people of my age

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>>36215872

I have a mission for you. Are you a bad enough dude to save the president and accept my mission?

>>36215874

While I doubt you'll find anything in there, read:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201602/10-signs-narcissistic-parent

For now, I suspect your mother of not being very helpful to you, but not necessarily by design. Or she may do things more covertly.

>>36215792
Apologies for the late response, I am in multiple threads and gaming.

Thanks for the response. You seem very genuine, I suppose your word is as good as anyone that posts saying he has a degree in X.

Would you care to expand on what your job entails? I'm fine if you are unable/unwilling to for confidentialty or other reasons.

>You haven't seen this question yet?
Most of my lurking has been done of the archives because of my interest in the discourse concerning Schizoid Personality Disorder, so i missed most of the other information. (I suppose lurk is quite a disingenous word to use here, but I couldn't think of an alternative)

>>36215810
>
The rule about not responding to trolls

>
That's fair enough, admirable even. I suppose there isn't an alternative anyhow.

>>36215858
Learned a bit about it in psych, inappropriate emotional reactions, or none, delusions
Maybe the thing with emotions but I feel too normal for that

>>36215878

Wew, lad, that's heavy.

No love for your own parents. Don't feel guilty. You have to tell me more.

What's your worst childhood memory?