/britfeel/

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>tfw no Avril gf

second for Barrow-in-Furness

Sometimes I just put my head in my hands and start laughing at how shit life is.

>>36209937
Her body looks fucking incredible in the music video where she's getting out of bed at the start. Maybe a bit skinny for some but to me it's perfection.

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>>36209937
>not posting best girl in current year

>>36209974
I'm not even worthy of a comtemptuous and slightly disgusted glance from her.

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>tfw it will never be 1994 again

>>36209937
Sk8er boi is literally the worst song ever recorded.

I should probably give up the fags lads, it's starting to feel weird.

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>>36209996
tru. FeelsReallyQuiteAwefulLad

>>36210009
i thought that was 'holla back girl'

There was a guy at my college called Brad who looked like sideshow Bob but for some reason still got loads of girls

>>36210022
Like in a having your asshole ripped apart kind of way? I can see why

>tfw you're too sad to fap despite having a boner

>>36210029
I can at least masterbate to that song.

Third crunchie of the day already lads

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>>36210002

It's just not fair origami

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Fuck sake.

Some normie mate has broken up with his long term girlfriend and everyones been asking me to message her since we were good friends before and she's comfortable talking to me.

Ended up essentially sperging out at 4am and she hasn't replied.

I really have no idea how people communicated with women by letter in the past without stressing for days about coming across as a complete sperg.

It was all just projection anyway.

who /southern fried chicken goujons from tesco/ here?

pretty tasty lads, and easy to make

>>36210068
>everyones been asking me to message her
in what sense, like to get with her or to help reconcile with your friend?

>>36209974
She actually literally has. In the Apple store in Belfast.

Overrated experience desu.

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>1998 was 56 years ago and you have nothing to show for your time here

>>36210082
call them what they are anon

>>36210035
if you're outgoing, funny and confident it doesn't matter what you look like.

>>36210085
I would literally kill a man to be you, you piece of shit

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Hoping you are all having a great day, and if not give those negative feelings a bodyslam until they become sexy feelings.

- Kev x

>>36210038
Not really, just not worth it but still something you are so used to you keep doing.

>>36210097
Don't make me say the T word

>>36209974
I wonder if Sophie / Maisie / Cara / Emma and the like even consider themselves to be the same species as I. I certainly don't.

>>36210095

>tfw you've been on 4chan since 1872 and never got a single (you)

>>36210002
>i'd be unborn
That would be nice. Like death but no one gets sad about it.

>>36210117

I'm certainly not the same species as Maisie

>>36210116
say it friendo

How come they don't put weird low budget things on tv anymore like The Maxxx and BBC3 shit like Mighty boosh and monkey dust?

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>>36210104
you'll be needing this then laddy

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>>36210132
cahoodling

oeriosdefhsdhf

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>>36210085
I love Antrim desu

>>36210117
Idk lad, starting to think those greek chaps might be on to something with their Goddesses. Patrician taste too, lad.
>>36210132
kek
>>36210138
Tendos

>>36209912

>tfw study accounting
>Finish my course, top of my class
>Start looking for entry level jobs
>All of them require 2 years of experience

Whats the point lads?

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>>36210120

Ill be putting this in my diary mate
Gamechanger

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>>36210138
t-t..

THEYRE TENDIES
YOU FOUND ME OUT
I LIKE TENDIES
TRENDY TENDER TENDIES

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>>36210083
Just to see if she's OK. She's a shut in who can't leave the house.

I tried to get with her when they broke up before like 6 years ago which makes it even more awkward. I don't want to get with her though I want first and foremost for her to get over her condition and to live a happy life. Secondly to stay with my friend. Partly because he loves her but mostly because if she's not around anymore I'll lose 33.3% of my female friends and the only one I genuinely enjoy talking to (she's into alot of /tg/ shit and gives me bath bombs).

It's a shit situation but I just want to get the post message stress off my chest. I mostly just messaged her because i didn't want to regret not making an effort if things go really bad for her.

She's a roastie tho and a pretty fine one so she'll probably do far better than I will even with her debilitating mental health so I dunno why I'm worried but I am very sad to think of her lonely at her parents.

Reminder that Bill Murray didn't learn to walk until he was 58. Anything is possible britfeel.

>>36210161
don't you need another qualification to actually become an accredited accountant? that takes two years dunnit

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Finally accepted a friend request from the qt bird I've been lurking. Feels good, feels like I'm a man

>>36210156
It's ok. I'm from County Down which is way better.

Anything is possible if you just be yourself

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Had a dream I made out with a girl lads. haha good one brain.

>>36210068
Ah shit. Being asked to do emotional shit is the worst. Luckily all the people I know are better at it than me so they just do it. If we're in the pub and they start doing it I usually find some excuse to get out of there whether it be smoke break or slot machine.
One day I'm gonna have to do that shit though and I'm not looking forward to it.

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>>36210196
This is excellent advice. :)

- Kev x

>>36210189
i'm friends with hundreds of girls on facebook. it doesn't mean anything.

>>36210193
I like the mourne mountains alright but other than that down is irrelevant and has no real towns

>>36210182

I do have a professional qualification already.
Still can't get a job because I didn't do unpaid work experience while studying.

>>36210208
Yeah but when you like her it's different. I'm fb friends with other girls too and it means sweet fuckall to me because I don't want to stick my dick in them.

>>36210202
I've literally never had a girlfriend so I feel like such a faggot trying to help people during breakups. Like they're thinking what does he know all the time.

I'm pretty good at this sort of thing usually i think (I'm an ENTP on that Myers-Brigs test the yank so essentially a useless verbal overthinker. Which credit to the test is legitimately how i deal with this sort of thing).

It's funny how things have changed since we were younger. Peoples breakups are rare and legitimately pretty devestating now we're approaching 30 yet everyones very low key and stoic about them.

Sometimes i want to fap to a bailey jay vid but then i dont because its gay.

The lads of /pol/ are tracking down Shia in the Finnish wilderness. God bless em.

>>36210210
Bangor is the biggest town in all of NI. As shit as it's become over the last few decades.

Hollywoods good too.

Sup lads how do I find hookers in this country

>>36210288
Kev told me that it was gay not to?

>>36210290
will shia ever not be eternally btfo'd? i hope not

>>36210297
adultwork.com lad

>>36210279
>I've literally never had a girlfriend so I feel like such a faggot trying to help people during breakups
Same here. I forget what I get on that test but I just try to avoid any serious conversation that they try to start about it by making jokes. Saying that I do that with any remotely serious situation. Just yesterday infact I was giving some people a lift and they were talking to eachother about some relationship shit at their uni and I only ever said something when I had a joke every other minute to try and bring up the sad mood.

>>36210303
You have to admit, he's a great sport creating all this free entertainment for us. He raps good too tbqh

>>36210288
If she's fucking a woman its less gay

>>36210332
Will I get v&nd for this?

>>36210346
>2020
>flag has been in every country on earth
>high score is 5 minutes
>multiple competing groups try to take it down
>bloody fights erupt between anons
>killing each other was his plan all along

Watching the local gypos get evicted, breddy comfy desu. Thought it would take another week since they've got to get a court order but it only took 3 days. They've even got the dags in

UTTERLY BTFO

Pikey anon, if you're in this thread then tell your cousins to fuck off back where they came from you can stay though diddums

>>36210334
yea so was I but I'm fed up being a comic relief NPC.

I only have maybe a decade before brain deterioration starts and the first thing to go is the parts of the mind that stop you from ranting away all the time. I'm gonna be so fucked.

I dunno wether it was 4chan or not but I over think every message now and cringe at the slightest cliche behaviour.

>>36210292
Holywood Isn't that where Mcilroy is from?

gay men are gross, ultimate cucks

they literally fuck the other persons shit disposal pipe lmao

imagine puttin ur willy in a dry smelly crevice thats walls are coated in dried up flakey remainders of yesterdays dinner

some of these barbaric savages even put their tongue in there lmaoooo #gasgays when?

>>36210377
prozzies are legal in the uk you mong

>>36210288
Just go for it. If I ever think that something I'm jerking off to is a little weird I just remember that no ones ever gonna know. I fap to trannys then sometimes wonder if its gay but then I see a naked dude and I don't get aroused at all.

>>36210385
>Shia is tzinch
I have taken the bog pill

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>>36210403
Just fuck off dude, seriously..

>>36210377
Get a real woman don't be a beta male

>>36210397
Yea. It's a commuter town for Belfast like everywhere else round here but it's pretty nice. That dude from Fifty Shades is from Hollywood too I think.

>>36210404
I think it's legal to be a prozzy but it's illegal to get caught availing of their services. They are pretty common though. In NI there's lots of paramilitary involvement as you would expect with illegal activities so it's really fucking dodgy to get into.

>>36210403
The penis is objectively less disgusting that the vagina though

>>36210436

You fuck off back to /lgbt/

>>36210444
How long from there to belfast?

>>36210451
I'd even go as far as to say that the penis is the least gay genital type. Just think about it

>>36210451
that's because you're gay. i don't find vaginas disgusting but i do find dicks disgusting.

How much of a fag would you have to be to fuck a woman.

>>36210439

But if he can't, then why not get an escort?

facefucking a woman is the only straight thing you can do

anything else is at least a little gay

>>36210500

I love fucking women, and I don't care what some prison gays here think about it

>>36210504
Thats how nature intended.

>>36210479
I don't drive but it's about 20 mins on the train.

I keep saying Hollywood when it's Holywood as you seem to have gathered. It's pronounced the former as you probably know.

Are you from NI yourself?

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>>36210290
What did he mean by this?


origono

>>36210542

Nature intended for anon to get some experience with escorts, to boost his confidence enough to be able to get other women

>>36210556
To be fair that's absolutely culturally normal and even encouraged in alot of other countries including white ones.

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>>36210301
Of course. It's not gay to fap to whatever you like. Fapping for education or relief do not make you gay. Only when you do it in a sexual manner does it become gay.

- Kev x

>>36210549
I'm from countryside Tyrone myself. I go to nice seaside places like bangor or Coleraine on weekends.

>>36210556
Nature is supposed to separate the weak from the strong. Everyone but idiots believe in Darwin'stheory of evolution.

>>36210395
>comic relief NPC
This sums up my life a bit too well. I guess it's not that bad. Never really have to deal with real problems but nothing really happens either.
>cringe at the slightest cliche behaviour.
Maybe it's here cause I do this aswell or maybe it's just overexposure to media where they do this.

What's the worst criminal you've ever known person? In terms of how severe his crimes were

>>36210641
Not friends but I've known a rapist and also a guy who almost killed someone with a hammer.

>>36210641
I know a guy that pissed into his room mate's ribena bottle

>>36210641
brothers ex girlfriend's dad molested his other daughter for most of her life. my niece had to go to the doctor to be checked to see if he hadn't done it to her to

>>36210641
lived with a stabber tbqh

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>>36210598
Ah very nice. I'd like to go to the North Coast more myself especially since some friends moved to Coleraine but I rarely get out.

I like Donaghadee best for chilling by the sea. That whole peninsula has almost kept the Fishermen village vibe that made this county what it was. It's a shame our cold weather makes sailing pretty miserable most of the year. It would be nice if we could still get little ferries to Belfast and shit.

>>36210641
my local gp was a bit of a wrong un

>>36210614
Mankind all but conquered Darwinian evolution centuries ago. Millions of "the weak" have lived when "the strong" have died. I guarantee more than one of your ancestors were weak-spirited little fuckboys who lost their virginity in a whore house to boost their confidence, and you wouldn't be here if not for those interactions.

Take the fedora off nigga

>>36210598
>countryside Tyrone
kek

>>36210682
How come he only molested one?

Best your bro's ex had Daddy issues raging about that.

>>36210641
I've known an older dude who had two 13 year old gfs at the same time and a guy who raped some club slut and pissed all over her house and stole her stuff. That's about it.

I don't think I know any murderers or anything.

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>>36210641

Although I never met him personally, my father's cousin was a murderer in Burgerland, and got the electric chair.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicholas_Ingram

There was a massive campaign in the 90s to prevent him from being executed, but in all honesty, if he is going to murder someone, he can't complain when he gets death as punishment.

>>36210641

A guy in the year below me at school got done for being a pedo.

>>36210736
i actually don't know, i've never been fully filled in on the details, maybe she was but never come forward even after he was arrested

>>36210641

I have a serial killer on my street, he killed 4, got taken to court for 2, acquitted for 1, and served 16 years for the other.

He has always liked me because I used to help his mother for years with her shopping/gardening before she died.

>>36210641
I knew someone who stole a garden gnome once.

Based Tommy Robinson interrogating nonces

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTWHXSRL5b4

I worked with this guy, the guy in charge of him told me there was something dodgy about him but couldn't tell me.
Later found out through a ex manager of the place.

https://theukdatabase.com/2012/06/08/brian-peacock-bradford/

Super huge massive ultra high-density solid state mega dick alternate dimension penis

>>36210717
Prostitution is degeneracy, taking advantage of vulnerable women. I'm a feminist i believe in equality. I shall not condone it. And I don't think beta fuckboys like the other guy should be allowed pity sex.

I was just about to have a wank and my cat decides now is the time to waltz in and look at me.

>>36210881
>I'm a feminist i believe in equality. I shall not condone it. And I don't think beta fuckboys like the other guy should be allowed pity sex.

We don't give a toss desu, we just want our fellow britfeeler to get his end away with this escort

>>36210881
Highest paid job in the world and the worlds oldest profession.

No ones talking about fucking sex slaves but when you ban prostitution the first ones to cry out are the whores.

>>36210899
>>36210925
>falling for bait this shit
C'mon guys I thought you were better than this

might try and get a chav bird. seems like they will be easy. anyone here had any experience with a chav bird?

>>36210940
>tfw area too posh for the chavs

Virgin here, should I just lose it to an escort?

>>36210881
>. I'm a feminist i believe in equality.

you do know that a lot of feminists support prostitution? forgot what the study of feminism is

>>36210940
I don't see any positives other than weird chav sex. Would probably cost more than a prozzie cause they love their designer shit aswell.

just had the Greggs steak and cheese baguette

bloody top tier desu, feeling run down and it's just what I needed

>>36210934
I think its easy to forget a lot of people here are genuine autists so they dont understand subtle humour and piss taking. Unbelivable shit gets posted here all the time and still gets (you)s

>about to get kicked out of university for the second time for doing no work and no attendance, tens of thousands of pounds in debt, haven't payed a penny of my rent, utterly broke and completely alone
can university students be robots too

>>36210692
Donaghadee sounds good will see what its like.

>>36210953
Depends how old you are desu.

>>36210940
They're real stupid. And her big brother probably has a machete

>tfw lost virginity to a virgin
/pol/ would approve

>>36211041
I don't want to imagine how bad it was for you both.

>>36210965
>I don't see any positives other than weird chav sex

i have tried dating "Decent" girls and they where pretty boring. they either spoke about work all day or didnt speak about much at all. at least chav girls might be fun, will be easy to fuck and probably easy to direct. yeah, they will probably be stupid but even the "Decent" girls i have dated where not exactly having deep discussions with me.

>Would probably cost more than a prozzie cause they love their designer shit aswell.

maybe but if they where able to buy that shit before me, im sure they manage to get it. If not, i will just dump her or tell her why it is retarded for her to expect this from me

>>36211069
It was very, very bad. Being both virgins and going out for years pretty much put a bullet in my sex/romantic life. Only relationship I've ever had.

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>>36211069
>remembering my first time

there arent many people who can honestly say they didnt nut within 20 seconds of entering wet tight virgin pussy for the first time

>>36211100
Most people who lose their virginity have a problem with busting at all. The 20 seconds meme is for teenagers

>>36211100
i lasted at least half an hour when i first done it. i was nervous. didnt feel as good as i expected and felt awkward

>>36211112
most people lose their virginity in their teens anon.

>>36211037
>They're real stupid

how stupid are we talking? some examples please

>>36211112
First time busted in 20 seconds.
Everytime after, takes me forever to the point I want to just give up and do something else.
I really need Sexy Kev's guidance.

>>36211020
20 years

Originoo

you literally go into a club get drunk and any left over sluts will fuck you no matter how ugly you are just dress well and don't talk

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bought it
liking it so far, seems to carry the bloodborne essense

>>36211177
do you reckon it takes us forever after because at that point most of the time the sex is kinda forced and you are not gagging for it? very rarely will i have sex when i really want it because i dont have a girl to fuck. when i do have sex its more for take of it because the opportunity might not come around again for a while

I don't even remember my first time, I think I lasted a good while though. She was a virgin too, but didn't have a hymen and enjoyed it, which made me suspicious. We were both emos and met on VampireFreaks. Happier times.

>>36211152
Couldn't point to their country on the map, don't know shit or want to know about anything that doesn't directly affect them right now, if you're into something other than football you're suspicious at least and probably a poof

>>36211204
sounds like you're talking complete shit. i have been clubbing plenty of time with friends and this has never happened to any of us.

>>36211214
I'm not sure. At the times it happens, I want it. But I think between the moments of wanting it, I don't care for sex that much that it actually affects me without realising.
But you might be onto something, it's less wanting it when it happens and more wanting it more on demand.

>>36211225
>if you're into something other than football you're suspicious at least and probably a poof

jeez. might just drop this whole idea then, or just use a chav as a fuck toy.

Why is there never ny spiderman or scat in /b/ celeb threads. Literally every other thread on this site gets shitposters but that. I wonder whether they even know what spiderman looks like

>>36211229

it's a numbers game. happens to me 3 out of every 5 times. just say hi to as many girls as possible if any reply take it from there. they're drunk they don't care.

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>>36211208
worth it to fight ornstein on roids and THE CHAMP

>>36210692
i would delete that image mate

>>36211265
>. just say hi to as many girls as possible if any reply take it from there

you said dont talk so i assumed you just meant to stand there and wait for girls to approach. yeah, imagine it works pretty easily if you aproach the girl and flirt with them etc

cant do this anyway i dont have my own place but i will have the place to myself for a few weeks over the summer so i could do it then

>>36211251
They're not all the same to be fair I'm sure there's many different species of chav

>>36211221
What is this vampirefreaks. Always hear it mentioned. Am I being memed?

>>36211272
the parry window has changed
AGAIN
why do that? just so everyone starts on square 1? old and new players alike

>>36210692
I'm assuming you're not Lauren?

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>>36209912
Cheeky Augustine edition

Oh, it's great being black in a white neighborhood

>White boys wont DARE start a fight with you

"intimidates whites guy*

>You get to fuck EVERY white girl whitin a one mile radius with your beautiful black...

*cuts to interracial sex scene*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nw-dXp7V7bk

bored lads, anyone got a comfy brit twitch streamer to watch?

>>36211341
It's an outdated social media site for emo and scene kids and wannabe goths. If you're emo-looking (don't have to be attractive), you can go on there and girls will talk to you.

>>36211397
All the Brit streamers are nobs desu

>>36211341
Imagine Myspace but for goths/emos.

>>36211397
>>36211417
This tbqh. Sottle the hearthstone commentator is pretty comfy.
I'm a forsenboy though

>>36211414
>>36211424
i remember the whole emo/goth thing.

the emo girls always seemed the easiest to fuck. if i wasnt such a retard back when i was a teen, i could of easy fucked them.

>>36211282
>>36211381
Unfortunate. It's too late now.

I actually thought it was an antique photo from the thumbnail in my folder.

There's nothing better than old PC sandbox type games desu lads.

>>36211429
>forsenlol
ew just tried it, not comfy at all

>>36211477
I'd same a lovely piece of Parkin and a strong brew while under a blanket on a cold winters night while it snows outside is a bit better.

>>36211282
What's wrong with it?

Origami

>>36211468
I ain't gonna do shit, just warning ya. I rename all my shit just in case.

Just recovering from a big poo lads.

matt smith is a handsome motherfucker

>>36211487
forsen is the oposite of comfy, I freely admit. More /b/ than /r9k/

>>36211522
Feeling a bit gay now are you?

- Kev x

>>36211510
Thanks for the tip bro. I shouldn't be so lazy with that.

I went to school with her. Really funny girl.

>>36211526
you havin a laugh lad? he is like a 4-5.

>>36211526
He looks weird as fuck
>>36211497
What's parkin lad?

>>36211204
i don't have anyone to go to a club with and i'm not confident enough to go on my own

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>>36211566
>What's parkin lad?
Parkin or Perkin is a gingerbread cake traditionally made with oatmeal and black treacle, which originated in northern England. Often associated with Yorkshire, particularly the Leeds area.

>>36211553
if you honestly consider him "bad" or "average" you are absolutely delusional

>>36211566
unconventionally attractive is the british look lad, just look at alex turner

>>36211611
i think most people would agree that he is average. david tenant is good looking but he annoys me.

>>36211640
Could be worse. He could be as annoying as American Doctor Who fans.

>>36211569
Don't go alone. Unless you're a 7/10+ Chad they will stop you at the door. I learnt this the hard way.

>>36211651

i go alone. never been stopped by a bouncer. where the fuck you live?

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>>36211647
Oh man. I hate American Doctor Who fans. Especially of late. Doctor Who used to be THE thing around these parts. Literally everyone watched Doctor Who.

Now if I ask, most of the people who I know don't bother watching it. Neither do I to be fair, it's shit now.

Also, post waifus.

>>36211593
Looks decent mate. Will have to give it a try. For now though a cup of tea and a kit kat will have to do.

>>36210038
im bowled over by the display of wit contained in this post

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>>36211717
I'm popping to the co-op in a bit, do any of you lads want anything?

thoughs?
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/04/12/police-forces-issue-sexting-dictionary-parents-decode-112-words/

>>36211804
Pringles, but only if they're discounted. Over 3 quid is fucking daylight robbery.

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>brown hair and eyes

is there even a point living
I might as well not even be white

>>36211804
Some sips. I'm pulling a 50 hour NEET shift here. I can pay you in piss bottles.

>>36211843
>implying anyone with blonde hair and blues eyes ever did anything in history

>>36211812
good thing. kids are stupid and parents should get more involved.

>>36211804
can you grab some custard donuts? they're vegan

>>36211804
more guro

>>36211889
waste of money don't you think? you can find any of them with a google search

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>>36211732
not him but if u looking for things to try, this stuff, malt loaf, fuck me its nice.

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>>36211717
Ecclestone was the best modern doctor desu

Tennant was decent but overrated, Smith was awful and Capaldi is good himself but the show in general is so terrible it doesn't really matter.

muh lesbian space reptiles

>>36211804
Get us a scratchcard lad, I'll split it with you if I win.

>>36211812
Fuckin kek. People don't actually use these do they?
>GYPO (Get Your Pants Off)
Maybe the kids are just shit talking Gypsies.
>POS (Parents Over Shoulder)
Not piece of shit?
>KPC (Keeping Parents Clueless).
Off brand KFC
>P911 (Parent Alert)
Yank scum

Just had some pre-workout on an empty stomach lads LETS FUCKING DO THIS.

>>36211804
Bombay bad boy pot noodle please lad

>>36211929
yeah fair point, could be a waste of money if they are all on the internet

>>36211812

Last year i was on my old family computer rummaging through files. I found countless logs of my msn conversations i had as a kid. Got in a big argument with mum over it.

Let kids do what they do.

>>36211938
Basically agree with you completely. I can't really separate Capaldi and Malcolm, so seeing him playing to Doctor is a bit jarring.

I remember reading somewhere that Capaldi has a lot of influence on the script, and that's part of the reason Dr Who's going downhill.

>>36211999
Is shit like that good? I am starting to take the gym a bit more seriously but I don't take any supplements or anything

thoughts?
https://youtu.be/ohxDM9eGu6Q

>>36212052
I take it on days like today when I'm being a lazy fuck and have no motivation. If I neck it quickly without thinking I'm basically forcing myself to work out.

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What do you think of Ancient Roman feels?

http://www.pompeiana.org/Resources/Ancient/Graffiti%20from%20Pompeii.htm

>>36212088
It's impossible to truly explain 'meme culture' to people. Especially the 4chn version of it. I've tried before and even after years on this place it feels stupid.

>>36212052

Just have a coffee

>>36212122
more into the greeks, lad.

>>36212122
>Weep, you girls. My penis has given up on you. Now it penetrates men's behinds.
My god, times really havent changed.

>>36212122
> Weep you girls, my penis has given you up. Now it penertrates men's behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity

Stopped reading

>>36212122
The word square is some advanced shitposting for the time.

R O M A
O L I M
M I L O
A M O R

>>36212122

>1882: The one who buggers a fire burns his penis

Don't put your dick in crazy

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>>36212122

>1811: A small problem gets larger if you ignore it.

This is unoriginal apparently.

Off to visit the new Lidl that has opened near me.

I hope it has cheap alcohol

>>36212122
>4091: Whoever loves, let him flourish. Let him perish who knows not love. Let him perish twice over whoever forbids love.
Fuckin Pompeii normies REEEEEEEE

>>36212122
>Chie, I hope your hemorrhoids rub together so much that they hurt worse than when they every have before!

wew, that is remarkably fucking harsh

>Read girl's dating profile
>Username Prettyonwheels
>Seems geeky and has a good personality
>Lives close by
>Read through all of profile till the last line
>"In a wheelchair"

She was called Prettyonwheels and I still didn't twig. I looked through all of her pictures where she was sat down in all of them and still didn't twig. God i'm retarded as fuck.

>>36212122

>1926: Epaphra is not good at ball games.

Epaphra BTFO, will they ever recover?

I have dual nationality british/australian so I was checking entry requirements for people with aus citizenship in australia.

I went to school in the UK so I have A levels, and when I checked the entry requirements for a bachelor of arts degree (they do some majors/minors shit like the US) for the university of melbourne and changed the qualification to "GCE A Levels" it says BCC as the standard required entry? am I getting memed? it's ranked 2nd in aus it can't be that easy

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>>36212468
hey, lad. at least she wont be able to run away from you

>>36212468
If her vag works why not anon?

>>36212537

I'm socially awkward as it is I don't want to stand out even more in public.

>"How long have you been a careworker for anon?"
>"errrr..."

holby city is fucking degenerate

Was almost spotted by my sister's friend. Good thing she was looking at her phone.

>>36212563
You get bonus points with normies though.
>wow, even though she's in a wheelchair he still loves her! what a great person

What have you got to lose?

>>36212592
I wouldn't though:

>wow, that creep can't get normal girls so he preys on disabled ones
>she knows she doesn't have to settle for him because he's disabled right?
>he doesn't care about her, he just wants easy sex

>>36212468

At least you will get good parking spaces lad

>>36212617
why do you care about what other people think? why allow your consciousness to be bound by other peoples projections.

>>36212653
It's not that I care, it's that she might. Outside influencers will contrantly be trying to tear the relationship apart.

Not OP btw

>>36212620
Holy shit this is genius.
How do I get a medium disabled girl lads?
fuck using shitty expensive parking spaces.

>>36212470

>1816: Epaphra, you are bald!

This guy really isn't popular

>>36212122
>We two dear men, friends forever, were here. If you want to know our names, they are Gaius and Aulus.

I'm still waiting for the Pepe / Wojak version of that quote

>>36212697
>secundus gets away with shitting in public
>you get BTFO just for being bald and bad at kickball

JUST

>>36212679
that will always happen though regardless of her being a wheelchair. it is her responsibility to make her own decisions. if she likes you, other peoples opinions wont matter. i think most people would be happy for her anyway unless you're a dick and then its fair game if they talk shit about you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7dYa29iiuM

Fucking hell lads I didn't know this happened. Hope Nev wins.

>>36212468
>prettyonwheels

She hs been punished for vanity alhamdulillah

I had a gay teacher once

now whenever I see gay fags I can't help looking and wanting to rip their fucking eyes out and cut their heads off

>>36212737
>some teams have 2
>some have 1
Absolutely unfair.

>>36211208
Nice one, one of the few games I genuinely enjoyed playing these days; got Nioh...just didn't feel right.

>>36212737

>Why do you want to get rid of them, Nev?
>Stinky!

Boom, roasted

What are good opening messages for online dating? I need some good questions. I normally try and ask a question with an interest they have from their profile, but had little luck.

Next I'm just going to post weird questions like Do you believe in aliens? And shit like that.

>>36212960

Hey girl are you an archaeologist? Because I've got a large bone for you to examine

>>36212975

Hey girl ;), is there room for two on that wheelchair?


I am actually really tempted to send that to that girl now kek.

>>36212833
you more of a goat man, ahmed?

>>36213009

Take her to a skate park on your first date anon

>>36212960
>hi I spend me free time posting on a thread called /britfeel/ on a Tibetan flip-book image-board where we talk about the price of freddos and tfw no gf- i-i mean how are you

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>>36210347
Wait... is tranny on woman straight because it's basically just a dude fucking a girl

>>36213104

Not a joke but I am actually going to message this to 5 girls and I'll post my success.

I'll change "Tibetan flip-book image-board" to forum or something. I'll post responses if any. I'll message Prettyonwheels with this line

>>36213164
Does that exist? Could be interesting

>>36213164
is this straight or gay?
drtuber.com/
video/149322/hermaphrodite-sex

>>36213104
i noticed on dating sites. most of the time when i ask them something interesting, i just get ignored, so now i usually just ask them how their day has been. cba thinking of something decent to say and then get ignored.

>>36213104
the funny thing is if you are a 7+/10 this will actually work well

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>go to the co-op to get a stir fry
>nearly have a breakdown because I can't find any mix
>walk to Iceland
>can't find any stir fry there
>go back to the co-op
>still no stir fry
>go back to Iceland
>find a stirfry
>by now it's raining
>out for over an hour
Just end my life, lads ;_;

>>36213164
i only watch solo female. thats 100% straight

u wot m8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qStHQtk3mTU

>>36213485
Not true. If you imagine yourself as the girl then it's pretty gay.
>2017
>thinking anything is straight

>>36212960
I'm a pirate and im here for booty

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Okay, which one of yous is this

>>36213571
What am I looking at here?

orignikssssdsfasf

>>36213485
Same man, I can't get off to anything with a guy in it

>>36213501
what? I don't imagine myself as the girl i imagine myself fucking her

who /eire/

also no takeaways are open and i dont want koka noodles

what shoudl i get from tesco

it's been 17 days since my calories have entered quadruple digits
really fancy a curry

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>move out for uni and start living healthy
>been 6 months and made some decent progress to my weight loss
>come back home for easter
>find out my mum has bought me about 10 easter eggs

>>36213732
Give us one, lad.

>>36213751
Sure thing lad, you can have one the fucking 4 creme egg ones

>>36213732
that reminds.

one of my friends is a big lad if ya get me and he was always sick after Easter because he would eat too much.

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>soon easter will be over and tons of eggs will be cheap as fuck

>>36213732
Complaining about your Mum in an /britfeel/
Let's sort this geezer out boys.
Go say sorry to your Mummy right now

>>36213661
No Irish

Please leave

>major yellow fever
>can no longer wank to asian girls being fucked because I'm just jelly of the guy getting to fuck her

I lost my virginity to an asian girl but shit still cuts deep when I see a guy fucking one

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>>36213794
bad out

>>36209912
mate it's april not march

all of my fave polish lagers are either disappearing from corner shop shelves or becoming more expensive in the ones that do stock them

fucking BREXIT

>spend about an hour looking for a porn video
>can't decide on anything, just keep watching small clips of them to see if they're worth wanking to
>just came in my pants without doing literally anything to my penis

w-what the fug lads

Does depression ever let up? Every day for the last 6 months I've woken up feeling like shit. Can't deal with this anymore lads.

>>36210991
no, but they can certainly be fucking stupid and still be there somehow

>>36213928
>polish lagers
kek
>>36213957
It's better than ED I suppose lad

>>36210009
you haven't heart hello kitty then?

>>3621396
I felt depressed for a good 2 years when I came to terms I was going to die one day. Was about 16 then. It just suddenly went away before my 19th birthday, the mind is a strange thing

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just woke up and redeemed my shitty binge eat last night by doing 25min of running/walking

don't feel like eating today

>>36213962
depends

are you actually depressed or is your life just bad right now

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>>36214080
now I feel really lightheaded and sick

excercise was a mistake

>>36214080
Congrats, you burned 200 calories.

>>36214080
Sleeping in sucks
Day goes too fast if you wake up after 11am
>missing breakfast is not cozy at all

payday tomorrow lads, which flavour kettle chips should I buy?

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Anyone have the results from that monarchy strawpoll last night?

>>36214193
meh I've had this sleep schedule for like 7 years, I have periods of waking up normally but I can't be arsed and just slip back into NEET routine of 7-11am to 4-7pm, I really don't like being up during the day

>>36214272
Sweet chilli and sour cream ones are great lad

>>36214272
you get paid enough to be able to buy a pack of kettle chips??

10% of men can smell when a woman is on her period.

Do you have the gift?

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>>36214278
Nevermind, found it
http://www.strawpoll.me/12726138/r

REPUBLICANS BTFO!!!

>>36214307
the wood work room at school used to smell like women on period.

I want a cute French Catholic gf, lads

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>>36214307
Is this fucking real?

I've always noticed that some women will have this random stench about them, but it's always the same smell no matter who it's coming from. Is that what I'm smelling? You got a link to an article or anything?

>>36214307
Depends. What the fuck does it smell like. I often find a lot of girls smell the same, this sort of fruity/berry kind of smell. I just assumed it was shampoo or something but I smell it a hell of a lot

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http://www.examiner.co.uk/news/24-huddersfield-men-2-women-12882504


>those names

>>36214272
Tyrrells sea salt and cider vinegar crisps

>>36214307
there are other ways to tell desu

if you work with someone every day you can just tell

Tommy Robinson confronts MUSLIM pedophiles UK

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTWHXSRL5b4

>>36214378
I can tell you which customers are on their period, even through their perfume.

>>36214352
Almost metallic, but it hangs in the back of your throat.

>>36214272
If you're a millionaire you can't be a robot. Please leave

>>36214364
>Everton La Bastide
Dirty Bastide.

>flatmate has a female friend round
>they are in the kitchen / living room
>can't go and make my dinner until she is gone
I am really fucking hungry lads

>>36214364
This really got the ol' noggin joggin'

>>36214307

I can tell if I use the bathroom after them, it always stinks.

I've really been harvesting the (you)s lately lads, and didn't even post any shitty bait to get it

>>36210641
>>36212122

both with 10 (you)s each

yesterday I made another post with about 11/12 (you)s

Just remember lads, you don't need shitty b8 to get your daily dose of (you)s

>>36214386
Made me laugh on an industrial scale

>>36214477
That's good but can you maintain this long term. I never get as much (You)s as that but every post I make averages around 4 (You)s.

>>36214529

I once got 126(you)s for a septs get

>>36214456
>tfw I don't eat dinner until midnight because my flatmates are drinking with their friends in the kitchen
>tfw I only get 6 hours' sleep before my morning lecture

im going to have steak and kidney pie for tea.

with chips.

come at me.

>>36214597
Man I fucking hate it when he does that. Last time he did it I skipped dinner and just got shitfaced in my room. Was a good evening actually

>>36214607
I prefer steak and kidney pudding tbqh

>>36214629
what is this I don't even.

>>36214597
>>36214621
>not having a steak and kidney pie tucked away in your room for such emergencies.

Having me self a wee cheeky chicken curry lads.
It's my reward for being a big boy and going outside for once.

I spent today wondering how much longer I can keep working before I suffer a mental breakdown.

My high estimates are in the 10's of days.

>just ate a pack of jammy dodgers
>would have to run for like 3 hours to lose all those calories

i had been doing relatively well with my calorie limit this week, but this chinese my mum got me yesterday and finishing off the leftovers today has destroyed any chance of me losing weight this week, i can probably only hope to not lose weight this week

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>Be hungry and tired
>Have a nap
>Wake up 3 hours later
>Not hungry at all

>>36214798
What's your favourite biscuit lads?
>custard cream masterrace

>>36214822
shippy.jpg
sounds like chippy.
its making me hungry.

my calorie allowance is 1700
chips are almost 1000

>>36214851
how big is that portion of chips jeez

>>36214851
>chips are almost 1000

They used to be, chippies are so stingy now it's probably 800 max.

>>36214830
custard creams aand bourbons

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>it's a 5 pepperamis for tea kind of episode

Firestick is the best flavour but had to get pic related because they don't do firestick 5 packs apparently

>tfw eaten 8 sausage rolls and 4 cornish pasties in 3 days

>>36214907
haven't had a firestick pepperami in years, I only ever see them stocked in random paki shops and I only shop in tesco now and again

>helped make kettle chips a meme which supported yanks instead of making tyrells a meme and supporting brits

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>the price of kefir at the polish shop went up 20p
fuck you brexitfags

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>>36214907
>>36214992
Just seen you can buy a pack of 24 from amazon for 16 quid, glad I'm a strong willed person

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>middle east headquarters in Norwich

Are kettle chips the food of the red pilled

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>>36213673
>>36214178
>>36214798
>>36214809
>>36214851
>>36214892

How many calories did i have today?

Need some photoshop suggests involving Shipman and Hillman.

>>36215014
i think both are shite.

>>36215087
too many origori

>>36215087
christ lad, how much do you weigh?

do you know your lifestyle will eventually give you diabetes or something and you'll become a burden to OUR NHS?

>>36215087
tfw youre probably skinnier than me

>>36215106

What is a 'photoshop suggest'?

>>36215145
A sex move.

>>36215107
well food is a matter of opinion but i think they both taste a lot better than the likes of walkers. hand cooked crisps generally do taste better.

>>36215118
>>36215127
>>36215130
its carb up day

>>36215183
i'm just a sucker for low tier crisps desu. walkers, mccoys, golden wonder, sainsburys own etc. hate it when trashy snack food is given a posh twist. i daw the line at tesco value.

>>36215235
What about beef space raiders?

I can't think of a worse meme than kettle chips desu

>>36215261
only had one packet of space raiders in my life. mates at school were banging on about them and i wanted to fit in. didn't feel it

There 3/4 potential trannies at my workplace including me

Fucked up at work again, my errors are being found