Most awkward thing you've said or done recently

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>the "this" anon is referring to

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>>36196633
>nice day for a walk
>never talked to a girl all 22 years up till this point
>spark of confidence
>see mildly attractive girl on a bench
>say "why you are one might fine dame, mind if I sit here"
>she's confused
>I sit and say "It really is a beautiful day isn't it, shame if you spend it alone"
>she gets up
>I slap here buttox
>she calls the cops
>I run away
>she begins chasing me and shouting sexual assault
>some roided manlet tackles me
>go to jail for half a year

Don not fall for the confidence meme

>>36197381
Facketto

>>36196633
>smoking a cigarette in my backyard
>guy comes round to refill propane
>he says "hows it going?"
>I say "great"
>continue smoking while he fills the tank
>occurs to me that propane is flammable
>put out the cig
>before going back inside, I say "have a good one"
>cringe for about 10 minutes
>forget about it until I see this thread
Thanks OP

>>36197518
i dont understand what you did wrong in this situation

>>36198139
I didn't at first ether. I think it's because he put out the cig and went inside and from that guys perspective, anon only did it to avoid talking to him.

>>36197381
confidence meme is about pretending you are chad, while also never looking at yourself in the mirror. Not being a fedora creep

>>36198825
I see. thats pretty autistic to think this is autistic
>>36197518
youre autistic for thinking this is autistic

>at the dentist
>ex-employee of a burrito place I frequented comes in
>sits down beside me
>things going ok for the first 2 minutes
>run out of shit to talk about
>remember I saw she just had a kid recently on her Facebook (don't even have her as a friend just checked randomly out of boredom a few months past)
>bring it up just to have something to say
>sort of looks at me with a frown says he's doing fine
>realise there's know way I should be able to know about that unless I was creeping on her online
>sit for what seems like enternity until I get to actually go see the dentist

Doesn't seem that bad but holy shit when your actually there it's a different story

>>36196633
>be me, 18-year-old janitor at local mall
>notice the escalator stopped working
>call the managers office to report that the escalator is broken in a very flustered way
>they laugh at me

It turns out that the escalator can be easily turned on by the security guards and i wasted management's time.

>Go to dentist
>injections now face is numb
>leave
>walking down street
>happy black man walking his daughter down street
>try to smile at him as I walk into road to give them the pavement
>no control over my face
>mutually awkward stare
>use all my willpower to summon a friendly smile
>they both think I'm retarded
It killed me
Maybe I'm autism though

>>36197381
>tfw you do 6 months of hard time in America for slapping a girl's butt
Truly the Land of the Free

>>36199033
Jesus Christ take some spelling and grammar lessons

>>36199130
>i wasted management's time.
Don't feel bad, anon. Middle managers are the absolute scum of the Earth and their time is not even remotely precious

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>>36199130
You have a very non awkward life then

Took MDMA and accidentally spilled all of my psychological problems to a random qt guy (male), realized I was being autistic and said something along the lines of wtf why am I telling you all of this. He responds
>Well, sometimes you've just gotta get it off your chest
He seemed incredibly uncomfortable and didn't ever respond to my text.

I did something similar, except to a stranger on Instagram (which I never even use). I was on amphetamines and ended up sending literally like seven pages worth of shit about my life to a complete stranger (and a Stacy at that). Please just kill me now.

i said "tits or gtfo" to the grill i like over discord

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>>36196633
Recently:
>The Coast Guard stops the South Americans, while the National Guard stops the African Americans.
Apparently that wasn't an appropriate thing to say at work.

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>6th grade
>walk up to two girls
>say "you two should kiss"
>they spend about 2 minutes berating me and saying things like "why don't you go kiss (male anon) huh?"
that was a while ago but i mean, I'm a loser hermit so it's not like I can do or say anything awkward when there aren't real people around me

>>36199746
I snorted some meth in 2011 and got so high that I messaged Every decent looking girl on Plenty Of Fish "Please talk to me." or "I dont want to make you feel uncomfortable but I am just looking for someone to talk too", or "Can we please just talk?" .... I did this to every girl on POF in my area from about 11:00 PM - 3:30 AM Tweaked outta my mind

>>36197518
That's a pretty normal thing to do. If anything it's more autistic to not realize or not care.

>>36197518
Anon this is a perfectly normal interaction. If you hadnt said "have a good one" it would have been a little wierd

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>>36196633
>sitting next to crush
>playing shitty game of truth or dare
>"anon, who would you take to the dance next week?" she asks
>quickly blurt out a random lesbo who goes to our school
>crush looks visibly disappointed,
>someone asks her who she'd take to the dance
>"uh...I don't know, I mean..."

I want to die

>>36200413
Why didn't you say "You" or "Hitler did nothing wrong" while playing german march music?

>at barbershop in ghetto
>probably the first white person there that month
>start panicking because i know I don't fit in there
>don't even know the price; too afraid to ask
>fake getting a phone call asking me to leave
>butcher it
>leave in a hurry
>drop keys in parking lot
>get stuck in traffic on way out

This is why mommy has to take me everywhere, only she knows the good places to get a haircut.

>>36200566
left German marching band at home next to house keys

>be me
>uni
>in economics class
>powerpoint presentations day, where students present their powerpoint to the class
>student is presenting about greed, and he uses a clipart image of Mr Krabs to demonstrate greed
>he was mumbling and no one could really hear him
>remember spongebob theme song where the pirate says "ARE YOU READY KIDS? I CAN'T HEAR YOU"
>blurt out "i cANT HEAR YOU!!!" as a joke in reference to spongebob. Butchered pirate accent
>joke went over their heads
>class, professor, and the kid stare at me for what seemed like an eternity