Do you feel connected to other people?

>>36157266
Yeah I understand you homie. You're my type of guy how bout we watch K-On! together sometime?

>>36157266
How do you feel about the whitewashed Hollywood anime movie flopping?

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>>36157266
Telepathic communication when?

>>36157266
Sometimes
When it was big I would panic in crowds because all of it was too much
Not really anymore

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>>36157302
I'm not into that kind of series these days. It doesn't placate my brain anymore. It just makes me angry.

>>36157309
I thought it was a good movie and the whitewashing was handled fine. I'm irritated that a movie called Boss Baby is making more money than a decent action movie, even if it's not a great adaptation.

>>36157331
Telepathic communication wouldn't solve the issue because we've been coded since birth to think in words. Cultures are shaped immensely by their languages, passive thought is pretty much nothing but you talking to yourself in your head unless you're going into daydream territory.
Unless you mean telepathically communicating our exact feelings to one another, like screwing with the chemicals in each other's brains so we'll feel the same way while connected. Which would be interesting but also incredibly fucked up.

It's just time, I think. I have 2 solid friends in a big city university, but I can say that we are as close as brothers. But I think that's rare--they're both robots even if they don't know it, which is why we got along well. The reason I'd say we have a deep connection is because of the raw time we have spent together as roommates--I know these fools like the back of my hand. I know what they're thinking in certain situations without even looking at them, and they know what I'm thinking half the time.

Still, bros/good connections can be rare. I'm in the heart of a really fucking densely populated area, but I'm only really friends with two people. Strange how lonely the city can be. But this is just my 2 cents.

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>>36157266
I don't, though i have people that i can call ''friend'', but that's it, i can just call them friend, i don't feel like we are, but that doesn't bother me. I feel like actually connecting with people is a very difficult task, you can never know what's going on in the other person's head, their intentions, what they think about you, it's a very ambiguous thing, though that's nothing new at this point. I admit that i feel that other people feel like i feel in some way or another, it would be impossible for me to be the only person in the world experiencing these thoughts and feelings. But still, i can't help but feel trapped in my own head sometimes, specially when i'm around people, it doesn't matter who it is, it feels like i'm not there and therefore i can relate to whatever they're saying to me. And i've noticed that it's been getting harder and harder for me to actually say what i think, i just stutter and a bunch of gibberish comes out, so i just gave up on it. Every once in a while i come across a thread like this and is it makes me happy, so yeah, i think i understand you.

This always bugged me. I am not sure why I can connect with people on 4chan so much better. I always wonder if people in the real world are just too nice to be honest as people are on 4chan or if 4chan is just more honest out of self-awareness. Real life conversations seem to have less depth than the internet as well.

>>36157384
Wtf K-On! is one of the great intellectual anime of our time OP I def cannot relate to you.

>>36157439
>Strange how lonely the city can be
That's very common. Rural towns are typically much more close as a community than well populated cities.

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>>36157266
>>36157455

you two put what i'm feeling rn into words

it's nice to know that other people feel like this & i'm not crazy

i getchu

>>36157266
I've always had a couple of really trusted friends. Through the time though I changed them, simply because we took different rootes. I still hear them though and I'm very affectionate to them. Right now I have two. But what I came to realize that bothers me is that they are not the same person. What I can talk with one I cannot talk with the other one, not in the same wat at least. I notice use a different humor with each, and so the topics we discuss. And with both the moments of true intimacy or deep connection are rare. We three are both friends anyway if that wasn't clear already. Just this is a bit depressing. Even though I've known them for years and are great friends, I noticed that it's really really hard to get someone that's so connected with you to the point words aren't necessary, because even with them those moments are rare. Doesn't help that they've both got girlfriends now, something I'm jealous of because they obviously spend less time with me. Sometimes I think I should make the effort to get one too, but I really don't have the strength. Years ago I almost got one, but after getting home after we kissed I almost had a panic attack. I was almost relieved when she said a few days later she made a mistake

>>36157266
no
no

maybe
yes

yes, i understand you

language is fucking worthless when you can't literally convey emotion into other people's mind, you can't make them feel what you feel, you can only /describe/ what you are feeling, but that is never good enough

i actually have this weird thing where i think with actions or pictures, i can picture what i want or i can convey it with an action but i fail to actually describe it

>>36157496
Ironically, but stripping everything away, we can be our truest form. That's the beauty of 4chan.

>>36157384
>we've been coded since birth to think in word
I don't think in words Personally.

Itsthe reason i'm probably in the situation im in now

>>36157266
I have one person.
Someone I only talk to through a dumb primary means.

He blatantly kind of reminded me subtly that he remembered I have a fucked up time with existing.

Yet we still talk after all this time.

And doesn't bash me or try to fix me for it.
I've only had 3 others privy to this personal fact.

Only he accepts and gets it to a level.
He is the only person I remain in contact with ultimately.

But in my current surroundings?
No one has the slightest clue just what I am.

Theyre learning.
And ill have to get away again

>>36157266
The naruto image is gay.
Or is that ghost in the shell.

Err whatever.
I feel disconnected. I'm probably too old say this but, it honestly feels like no one understands me.
I can't connect with anyone and then everyone is disconnected from me. As if I'm not supposed to be around anyone.
Feels like everyone would be better with me gone. But, I remain.

I feel trapped in my own mind.
No to the second question.

I probably don't understand you.

>>36158273
Ill post then read yours.
I dont want to subconsciously mimic you.

I don't always think in words.
If telepathy were real I would channel my reptile brain into sending raw emotive gesture.

Something almost binary in nature.
Like caveman grunts created by... Fuck idk.im not smart enough or versed in brain biology to know where what i'm saying comes from. Pineal? Amygdala? Idk.

But there is a send/recieve place where these "things" form a correspondence.

Like morse code.

But you dont just get it.
You feel it.

You dont send imagery though you can use your imagination to focus the emotion.

>wonder
>wonder
>fear
>joy
>wonder?

>>36158273
not that guy i think in visualization. i rarely think in words. so i would think in images or like a movie mostly, sometimes abstract entities that are hard to describe, and i would imagine myself going through the motions if i were to think of doing something. thats how i think for the most part in my daily life, although for language heavy thought sessions like writing a paper i'd think in words.

>>36157266
>Are there people in your life that you believe genuinely understand you?
Yeah, I can think of one that understands me quite well, and another that does fairly well. No one understands anyone else completely and totally, though.
>Do you see people on the street and instinctively know that they have thoughts and feelings just like you?
Yes. In fact I started out thinking that their thoughts and feelings were a lot more like mine than they really are. I was kind of in my own little bubble, I suppose.

>Or do you feel like you're trapped in your own mind?
>Do you feel you lack the tools necessary to communicate who you are beyond the surface?
No, I feel like I communicate myself well, but that there are parts of me which I cannot access much. At an earlier point in my life I would have said that I could access these parts, but despite knowing how I couldn't manage to express them to others.

>>36158022
>I've always had a couple of really trusted friends. Through the time though I changed them, simply because we took different rootes. I still hear them though and I'm very affectionate to them. Right now I have two. But what I came to realize that bothers me is that they are not the same person. What I can talk with one I cannot talk with the other one, not in the same wat at least. I notice use a different humor with each, and so the topics we discuss. And with both the moments of true intimacy or deep connection are rare. We three are both friends anyway if that wasn't clear already. Just this is a bit depressing. Even though I've known them for years and are great friends, I noticed that it's really really hard to get someone that's so connected with you to the point words aren't necessary,
I posted>>36158311
The out of the 3 friends I had.
I stashed emotions in them.
It sounds manipulative but these are the words that make sense.

One friend embodied the weird I wanted to coexist with being a functional member of society

One friend was the weird that was kind of bitter and damaged. That laughed at the expense of others. Satirical, politically incorrect, kind of like here.

And the last was who I only contact to this day.
The weird that was just wholesomely creative.
But not bitter.
And not righteous.

Its just.

We forgot how we met almost.

We can pick up with half a year between us.
I can't explain it how I want to.

Just trying makes me laugh.

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Followup question:
Have you ever found yourself using pretense and wondered why you were doing it at all? Or you did it knowingly, but you also believed doing so was a bad idea?

For example, say you wanted to ask a girl out. You're not confident, so you qualify and stumble with things like "this is gonna sound stupid" or "no pressure," something like that.
Completely meaningless qualifications that only slowed you down and made you harder to understand.

Obviously that's natural, everyone does that when nervous, but what if you tried to cut it out completely?
What if every time you were in an awkward conversation, you made a conscious effort NOT to make jokes to alleviate the awkwardness? Assuming the joke is one you didn't intend to make in the first place, of course.

Would trying with 100% of your will to cut out all insincerity have even the slightest effect on your ability to communicate, or do you think it would just make you look foolish?
Or is it even possible to attempt that at all?

>>36158484
>Would trying with 100% of your will to cut out all insincerity have even the slightest effect on your ability to communicate
Sincerely I consider myself broken by the standards society gave me.

I have no business talking with people I don't want or have to.

And I really never want to.
And its rare now that I have to.


But.

I find it funny I have a thought, a daydream really I can contribute to you.
It may be a good contribution.

Maybe not.

Im a virgin.
If I have it my way I always will be.

Sex disgusts me.
The act in its entirety.
Genitals more so.

I've never wanted a GEE EFF.
So i'm alienated from a huge portion of this board at any given time.

But I had this thought.
It was part of my understanding being a virgin does not completely make one a "robot".

I had a particularly stiff erection.
And the emotion that comes with it before one climaxes.

And I thought huh, I wonder if even though I hate it, COULD I fuck someone with this?

How would I actually do it?

I imagined myself with this throbbing erection "passion distance" away from a woman. Stark naked.

I only continue through the daydream by constantly reminding her in a dry chuckling awkward tone "you know I have no idea what im doing right?"

It wasn't rejected.
It seemed real almost.
The scenario actually checked out.

>>36158624
I do appreciate the contribution. For as little as I understand what it is, I do appreciate it, and I share some of your feelings.

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>>36158484
Yes but not in the context of asking girls out. Little backstory here. I draw and i play guitar and write music, and whenever I'm about to show something to some one, be it a drawing/sketch or a song I tend to say shit like
> It's not the best quality but still...
> I't not finished but check it out

It was way worse back then, it wasn't even pretense, it was flat out humble bragging and attention seeking bullshit like
> God this looks like shit, right?
> I know i know, it looks terrible, right? I know it does...

And i could see the annoyed look on the person's face so i decided to cut it out, now I just show it and that's it. I try my best to not this kind of stuff, though I think I did it just now in the beginning of the reply, but still, sometimes i feel like i'm over justifying myself constantly, always stating the reason behind what i'm doing so it doesn't sound weird, but it makes it worse.

>>36158484
I only use pretense with people who have power over me. That's only at work to maintain my good standing. Everyone else's misunderstandings or misjudgments of me can be clarified once questioned if needed or I just don't even bother to clarify because the persons doesn't mean anything to me.

>>36158624
I hope you don't mind me asking but, why do genitals disgusts you?

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>>36157266
>Are there people in your life that you believe genuinely understand you?
no, i've even had someone who i'd known for years say "we don't really know anything about you" to me, which i found more funny than anything. personally i feel like "knowing" someone is a bizarre concept in the first place. it's basically just someone handing you a list that says "here are all my preferences".

>Do you see people on the street and instinctively know that they have thoughts and feelings just like you?
i don't need to 'know' it, it simply is that way, regardless of my 'knowing' of it

>Or do you feel like you're trapped in your own mind?
it's not about being trapped, it's about dwelling on that point or ignoring it

>Do you feel you lack the tools necessary to communicate who you are beyond the surface?
there is no 'beyond the surface', there isn't one person out there who's not a mile wide and an inch deep (myself included obviously)

>>36158698
>Do you feel you lack the tools necessary to communicate who you are beyond the surface?
Also to expand on this.
I apologize in advance for my canned idiom I guess.
"Actions speak louder than words"

I don't know what my true directive is.
Not with concepts like "there is no true altruism" around.

I keep coming back to being understood.
Unconditionally.
Having it be accepted as is.

But it can't.
So I feel I must use action.
Subterfuge even, where it is necessary.
And hope they are smart enough to do the math where needed.


I keep coming to this conclusion.
I realize its been done a million times maybe.

Its a martyr fantasy.

I come off stoic and grim yeah, but there's always a retraction behind it.
A deadpan "just kidding" to pull back over the line like a quarter on a string.

I want to be in a position to do something selfless.
Save someone and have my life almost ended.

But escape death.

But in the end it gets to this point where we celebrate. Joy, wow, phew right.

I go back and do it anyway.
Right after the dust is settled if not drastically soon before.

They have a brief moment of dissonace.
Wtf?
Why? WHY?
Its absurd even.

They don't get it.
They wholesomely do not understand.

But then they do.

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>Go to the club med
>Parent expect me to make friends and leave them alone
>I don't

>>36158842
Well for one I am heterosexual.
Male genitials are inherently antagonistic to my own detached sense of self.
Im not gay, get it away.

Though for vag.
Its more complicated.
Im SUPPOSED to like it in theory.

But I dont.
Flappy labia aside.

It looks unaesthetic.
Hairy or trimmed.
Tight or loose.

It disgusts me to look at.
I see the joke oriented rakk hive most of the time when they are spread.

It sometimes transcends disgust into anger when my own sexuality is called into question, making my life uncomfortable for not inherently liking this "thing".
For not valuing it.
Seeking it.

Worshiping it almost it seems as I look around.

Im not just a prude.
But I get by by pretending its that simple

Communicating in writing is so much better than communicating by voice or in-person. Writing can be revised before being transmitted, to make sure that the meaning and intent are communicated clearly. Or at least as clearly as one is capable of.

There's nobody in my life who understands me. There never has been. I've never really connected with anyone. I feel like a stranger with my family, both immediate and extended. I've been closed off for as long as I can remember. I go outside to my crappy job or stores; I can engage in polite banalities and pretend to be a functional human. I'm not a physical shut-in, only an emotional one.

4chan is the closest thing I have to human interaction. It's safe. I can talk about something, taking my time to consider the post before submitting it. All the ways that I am lacking as an individual are not relevant. All that matters is the content of my post and the ideas imparted solely within the scope of a single thread.

Sometimes I type up a post and then delete it without submitting it. Sometimes I post when a thread is already over. Were it a conversation that might be cause to feel embarrassed. Instead, the thread merely falls off the board, my inability to read the mood gone unnoticed and unattributed. I'm sure this sort of behavior is not uncommon.

It doesn't make me feel any better, but it at least keeps me from feeling any worse. I don't feel any more connected here, but at least the conversation provides for a momentary distraction.

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>>36157266
There will never be a single person who understands you 100%, even if you tell them each and everyone of your thoughts, feelings etc shit they will still make their own interpretations based on their own experiences
You might have a fear of heights, you explain that being in high places paralyzes you with fear and makes your body stiff and unresponsive
They might try to relate to you by their fear of tigers or something, it is similar but not the same, "oh yeah i get it, if id see a tiger out of a cage id probably freeze in fear too" but your fear is irrational,
it doesn't make any sense to freeze in the high place that won't help you at all, their reflex to not move when faced with threat has at least some logical reasoning behind it that made their mind behave like that, for you it might be that you climbed to a table and fell or some stupid shit as a kid which caused you subconscious trauma to high places
Shit example but one of the many, and even if it is exactly the same feeling you're trying to explain to them they might interpret your feeling differently from you, "i have fear of rejection that i got from being rejected during my childhood", "oh yeah ive been turned down too, it sucks but it passes, keep your chin up" some people are more sensitive to that kind of shit and their personalities also play a big part on how those experiences have effected them

TLDR; No one will ever fully understand you, the best you can hope for is that you find a girl you can tolerate who loves you, since mutual love is rare as shit

>>36159091
>Sometimes I type up a post and then delete it without submitting it. Sometimes I post when a thread is already over. Were it a conversation that might be cause to feel embarrassed. Instead, the thread merely falls off the board, my inability to read the mood gone unnoticed and unattributed. I'm sure this sort of behavior is not uncommon.

I am now both shut in physically and mentally, but I heavily commiserate.

For what its worth the way you portion your thoughts in writing are beautiful to me

>>36159145
>>36159145
>There will never be a single person who understands you 100%,

I am broken up.
My brand of masculinity hates too much.
It hates what is weak. It hates broken things. It hates flaws. It hates what is not it.

I don't like anime.
Revision.
I don't like most anime.
Revision
I don't like most anime or the people who like it too much.

>Moe shit
>Fetish shit
>Cheesy shit

I hate it.
But There are things I like a lot.
Like paranoia agent or something, FMA when I was a kid.

But then there are things I enjoy that do things I dislike.
Like desert punk or one piece.

Then therevare things I like that I simply distance myself from in worry of being assoicated with people I dont like.

This whole tirade was to say one thing.

>There will never be a single person who understands you 100%,

>Madara Uchiha did nothing wrong

I've always felt disconnected from everything. Family, friends, society at large.

No one "gets me" and I've never felt as if I truly belong.

Sucks lmafao lol

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If you're talking about the concise transfer of information, then yes, written language is superior, but the experience of conversation is vastly better to me. It's much more involved and visceral. It requires you to think of a string of vocal utterances in order to convey a related thought within the timespan with which the other person is communicating their own bit. Out of all the combinations of words and letters that exist, it's often difficult to select which ones you need to drive the conversation in a way that feels like forwards.

It's actually quite remarkable to think about and I truly understand how people struggle with meaningful speech, especially when there is no objective goal of the conversation.

That being said, talking wholeheartedly for an extended period of time is immensely fulfilling and out of all the drugs and things I've ever been subjected to, the absolute climax of a long stimulating conversation is truly my favorite sensation. It's like your brain is blowing a huge chunky load after furiously stroking your diamond hard cock with an iron grip for hours.

That connection you have with the other person for that short window of time is utterly divine and from that you can quite clearly grasp the essence of a person as they are in that moment.

However, this phenomenon is rare and I can probably count on my fingers how many times I've experienced it in my life. I suppose it feels as good as it does because it cannot be bought or ingested, but must be willingly created by two separate beings who are compatible and have decided to open their minds to each other under the right circumstances.

It sounds gay as fuck, but it's one of the few times where I actually feel alive. The other 99.999% of the time I'm just laying in bed listening to the sound of words echo in my head as I stare at my laptop screen, exactly like I'm doing now.

I wonder what the world would be like if people possessed the sort of connection that I described above.

>>36159091
jesus christ I forgot the fucking post number even after checking for typos a shit load of times >>36159785

>>36159785
>It sounds gay as fuck
It doesn't, I know exactly what you're talking about. Real conversations are one of the very few things I actually seek in my life. I've told people this, that my favorite thing is to have a long conversation with someone I care about.

I'm currently trying to break out of my cage and come to a point in my life where I can do that on a regular basis. I'd like to be able to have human experiences every single day, or once a week, or at least just something more often than "whenever a friend is in town" or what have you.

This is what I mean, I want to be able to sit down in a room with someone who has at least some grasp on who I am and just talk, and if there's something I don't know how to say I can have all the time I need to try and say it. I'm very sick of compressing my thoughts into city-minute chunks.

>>36157266

>Do you feel connected to other people?

No. I gave up on all that stuff.

Someone /thread me.

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>>36159874
The issue I had upon the discovery of such conversations was that I desperately wanted to experience it again, so I would try to talk to people that, in hindsight, I was little more than acquaintances with and tried to just delve back into it. Yet, when I did this I failed to realize the importance of conversational momentum and would go straight to the heavier topics without the idle chitchat or inciting activity that comes beforehand and would end up with oddly-paced one-sided conversations where I was somewhat frustrated that my implicit desire for mental stimulation and interpersonal connection wasn't understood, the other person being much less invested than I was.

So I guess what I'm getting at is whether or not any kind of meaningful interaction can happen on a weekly basis, much less, daily.

Do you suppose that it actually does occur much more frequently that I've led myself to believe? Or do people really live in such an intricately woven modern society without experiencing any meaningful connections with other humans on a regular basis?

>>36159951
>. I gave up on all that stuff.
Yu won't say that wen this uppercut connect

>>36159785
Verbal conversation is just stressful for me. When people talk about themselves I don't know what to say in response. I worry about saying the wrong thing and embarrassing myself. I can't talk about myself because there's nothing to say. I don't have a girlfriend or a wife, there's no family of my own. I don't travel or go out and do anything interesting. I don't have ambitions or a career, I just have a job. Speaking to another person is just something I need to get through. To make it to the end without it seeming unnatural, looking foolish or making anyone hate me. I don't want the pressure.

There are conversations from years ago where I said something foolish or wasn't understood and I still remember them. Still remember the stupid thing I said. Still remember the way I felt I doubt anyone else remembers these things, but I do. I can't help but remember them. They're like beads on my rosary of shame.

>>36160311
Like I said, I completely understand where you're coming from. Honestly, I believe I owe any conversational skills I have to my zoloft prescription. The way it dampens your emotions makes it easier to suppress anxiety and quickly think of responses without going full sperg.

I'm not suggesting you get a prescription for SSRIs, but if you do have anxiety it helps to have something to quell that mental overactivity since conversation on its own is difficult enough.

Anyway, to me it sounds like you just need to make better connections with what is being said to you. I'm sure you've heard this before, but try and ask questions related to what you've been told so that you can branch out the scope of the conversation. This is what increases the number of potential responses you can deliver.

For example, say you're mid conversation with someone and they're talking about themselves, making a simple declarative statement like:

"I just bought a truck the other day"

This declarative sentence leaves you a lot of things to ask about such as the price, model, which dealership, what happened to the old one, etc. While you may not actually give a solitary shit about any of those things, it gives you both time to think of something you DO want to say and there is the chance that he says something that can be related back to you for a meaningful retort.

A lot of conversation isn't about the subject matter of your sentence, but the function the sentence serves in the overall conversation.

>>36160231
Deep penetration conversational rape eh?

>>36157266
>Y-you just don't understand me mom, i'm not like the other kids, it's not a phase!
This is how you souns op

>>36160311
>>36160617
In regards of supposedly not having anything to say about yourself, just realize that nobody is all that interested in the objective facts of your life. The point of conversation is to ultimately gain an understanding of what cannot be seen, which is how you feel about things or thoughts you have about them. After all, it's the way the person thinks and feels about those objective truths in their lives that defines the personality.

Whether or not you can maneuver the conversation in a way that avoids awkwardness is largely reliant on how invested you are in the conversation. If you're keeping the ball rolling, people generally will not mind if you trip up over a word or need a second to remember what it was that you were saying. Essentially, just try to remain within the same vein of thought as them in terms of relatedness until the topic dries up or something else happens that requires a sudden shift in conversation.

Try and start your verbal interactions with a clear intent based on each person. If you know you're thoroughly disinterested with their life, you stick to a simple question/declaration mode of speaking for plain information transfer. If you really want to hit it off with someone, you go for a more question/personal thoughts/explanation approach.

All this kind of seems like common sense now that I'm writing it and I don't even know if you actually want to change how you verbally interact with others, but maybe seeing it written out might make it click in your head a little better.

>>36160673
oh fuck I hadn't even thought about it like that

Although, based on the experience, I'd say it was moreso the equivalent of me trying to fuck someone's ass while they're wearing overalls

I realised that basically nobody can truly understand or relate to someone else.

We are just the sum of our experiences which are 99% outside our control most of the time, as well as our genes which we of course have no control over.

I'm starting to think there is no real "self", just a way for the mind to rationalise it's special so it feels good and unique.

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>>36157266
>Are there people in your life that you believe genuinely understand you?
No
>Do you see people on the street and instinctively know that they have thoughts and feelings just like you?
Of course they have thoughts and feelings, but not like mine.
>Or do you feel like you're trapped in your own mind?
Not really, there's nothing to trap.
>Do you feel you lack the tools necessary to communicate who you are beyond the surface?
No, because there is nothing beyond the surface.

Is a feeling I've been having for a long time now, anon. Something more than two, probably 3 years.
I think I am no longer human, by most people standards. Sometimes it worries me, and I wonder if I'm insane, sometimes it feels like the most natural thing.
>>36157384
>I thought it was a good movie
Is great to finally see someone that shares my opinion on the movie. Is a decent movie. Is much, much better than other adaptions. To see the movie flopping is a shame. I thought it could at least make people take interest in the franchise and check the 1995 movie or the TV show.
>>36158484
>Followup question:
>Have you ever found yourself using pretense and wondered why you were doing it at all? Or you did it knowingly, but you also believed doing so was a bad idea?
>For example, say you wanted to ask a girl out. You're not confident, so you qualify and stumble with things like "this is gonna sound stupid" or "no pressure," something like that.

I thought people did that simply to earn time. You say it and give your brain some time to think what you are going to say next.

>>36160957
Kek.
Imagery