Where do you hide your toys?

>>36140917
Post more of that comic and I'll let you know.

BOTTOM DRAWER B O Y S

File: 1466028433972.png (161KB, 554x407px) Image search: [Google]

161KB, 554x407px

>>36140917
A brown box in my closet, although I live alone so I don't really need to I just started doing it in case my parents stop by

you are a fucking faggot anon

also i am not an original guy becasue i am an autist fucking 4chan

File: 1488423290937.jpg (81KB, 522x932px) Image search: [Google]

81KB, 522x932px

A rum box in my cabinet. Nobody should look there since nobody cares enough to.

>>36140917
>Where do you hide your toys?
in my ass

File: 1480639984787.jpg (130KB, 750x400px) Image search: [Google]

130KB, 750x400px

>>36140917
I leave everything in my bedside nightstand
I know for a fact my mom has seen my weird makeshift toys in there when she's cleaned

computer case is the good spot that I hear about but I'm too lazy to do that

Underneath my bed

I used to hide my vibrator that I use on my ass in my sister's room, so if it was ever found my parents assumed it was hers.

>>36140917
sauce me up my guy

>>36140917
I don't know where I'll hide mine yet, I just got it in the mail today

>live with parents in apartment building
>packages are held by doorman
>now seriously worried that they scanned one of the barcodes on the front of the box and it told them the contents of the package
I'll kill myself if I'm ever found out

I live alone, so I don't bother hiding them.

>>36140917
Too scared to buy any because I live with my parents.

I'm also so deep in the closet I'm in Narnia.

>>36141421
How deep can I be in you anon?

>>36141421
Hide em in your computer case if it's big enough. Ziplock it first though.

File: keking connie.png (337KB, 526x602px) Image search: [Google]

337KB, 526x602px

What the hell is going on in this thread, aren't you all.. men?

>>36141521
I'm a 6'2 man but I'd happily give that up to be 5'2 and cute boy.

or a cute loli, like Connie.

File: 1.jpg (344KB, 780x1010px) Image search: [Google]

344KB, 780x1010px

>>36141579
6ft same wish. I found a nice 6'2 guy who treats me like a girl though.

I don't hide mine because I live in my own place. I put it away so I don't have the constant urge to use it.

>>36141521
Not in bed.

>>36141615
Just leave a buttplug in, that might quell your urges.

homosex is degenerate and so is all this girl-guy roleplay

seek help

>>36141521
For you I'd be anything, honey.

>>36141579
>tfw no cute femboy to turn into a loli

>>36142003

You take it up the bum once and you'll be converted.

File: 1481513241191.jpg (43KB, 449x390px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 449x390px

>>36141612
>>36141579
im 6'2" , sometimes i feel weird for being tall but it seems like theres plenty of other tall homos to normalize the tall.

weirdly comforting reading these

Top bedside drawer

I know Mum has seen my giant butt plug, because I accidentally left it in the laundry once. She's timid about finding more, so she doesn't poke through my drawers

>>36142400
Did she confront you or pretend not to know?

>>36142473
I was sleeping when she was doing laundry. It appeared on my desk when I woke up.

We do what all normal adults do, though: Pretend it didn't happen. I don't talk to her about her BDSM, she doesn't talk to me about my anal play.

File: 1490166028729.jpg (19KB, 236x354px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 236x354px

>>36142283
Nah, if you're a tall top you have your pick. Tall bottom can be hell but it's not impossible. Doesn't help we're robots though

>>36142513
She's into BDSM? How'd you find that out?

File: 1463701325549.png (119KB, 254x309px) Image search: [Google]

119KB, 254x309px

>>36141521
are boys not allowed to have toys connie?

>>36142582
She wore a collar for several years. I ended up finding her fetlife profile and joked with her about knowing what it was for

I don't even know if I want to be top or bottom.

I'm only attracted to effeminate men, I have a pot belly and I'm hairy. But I'm kinda short, weak and I have a small-ish dick.

File: attentive connie.jpg (47KB, 547x410px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 547x410px

>>36142605
THESE TOYS ARE FOR GIRLS THOUGH!

>>36143003
We have more fun with them.

File: ur gay.png (250KB, 414x476px) Image search: [Google]

250KB, 414x476px

>>36143037
What would your mother think about this?

>>36143179
I don't wanna know. I feel really disgusted with myself now, thanks.

File: angry connie.png (111KB, 418x447px) Image search: [Google]

111KB, 418x447px

>>36143251
AND YOU SHOULD FEEL DISGUSTED!

>>36141224
what if she finds it

>>36143360
They can share I guess.

File: tumblr_lszk91opCr1r0q6x8o1_1280.jpg (138KB, 1148x647px) Image search: [Google]

138KB, 1148x647px

>>36143179
"where did my sweet boy go? this isn't how i raised you"

>takes dick
>takes enough dick to start a family
>gets mad when the kids like taking dick

it is a mystery!

File: 1489348134237.jpg (20KB, 525x493px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 525x493px

>>36143345
your recent avatarfagging is triggering me.

File: JERK.png (120KB, 406x363px) Image search: [Google]

120KB, 406x363px

>>36143394
SHE TOOK DICK FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF CREATING YOU AND HERE YOU ARE, I HOPE SHE NEVER FINDS OUT!

>>36143360
That was preferable over my parents finding it in my room.

>>36143394
Maybe she'll share some dick.

File: fags.jpg (191KB, 968x1998px) Image search: [Google]

191KB, 968x1998px

>>36140917
Fags pls go and stay go

>>36143669
haha you PWND them!!!

>>36141579
>6'4"
>black
>dwight howard shoulders
I just want to get fucked

>>36143669
Just so ya know, there are two types of gays:
Those who want to assimilate into society, and be like everyone else,
And those who believe that gays have their own community and they don't need the respect of straight people.

It's the second group that dresses up like that at a pride parade. They couldn't give a rat's ass about straight people's respect and most of them don't like the idea of gay marriage either.

This comic makes the mistake of confusing the two groups.
Just my $0.02

>tfw fat and hairy
>nobody to fuck me like a girl
Submissive bearmode is worst mode

File: anime-girl-manga-smoke-Favim.com-1029592.jpg (26KB, 500x354px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 500x354px

>>36143781
would you let a slender feminine guy who's smaller than you fuck you?

fucking big guys- that's kind of my jam. dunno why that does it.

File: c71dda55dc53c22f3b618fc70519538a.jpg (19KB, 500x357px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 500x357px

>>36143449
no she took dick because it feels really good and its fun. the same reason i take dick.

I have been thinking of getting a dildo or butt plug. What can you guys recommend for me?

>hide
Why? I live alone. I just keep them in a small box near my bed.

>>36143984
if hes manly in character sure but it'd probably look weird as fuck

File: original.png (249KB, 800x501px) Image search: [Google]

249KB, 800x501px

>>36144234
you worry too much about how it looks instead of how it feels.

>>36144160
Are you new to playing with your butt?

>>36144423
Not him, but I've never done it and am also considering it.

>>36144423
I have played with it a good amount so I want to find something bigger to put in there than my fingers.

File: LEGO E656, E444.jpg (65KB, 800x600px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 800x600px

>>36140917

I'm 49 and don't need to hide them from parents anymore, because all of my LEGOs were bought with money I personally earnt when I had a job.

I wish I could get off from playing with a dildo

It looks so fun

>>36144485
>>36144632

Alright.

>STAY AWAY FROM

>Jelly
They usually come in pink or are clear. They are literally impossible to sanitize because they're porous. They get moldy over time too.

>Cheap rubber toys
See this: https://www.amazon.com/Realistic-Dildo-inch-Suction-Flesh/dp/B06XSCMCY4

These things get hard over time. They're also really fucking uncomfortable. They don't conform to your innards and they feel like fucking a shampoo bottle.

>Unflared toys

You don't want to lose anything up there.

>GOOD FOR BUTTHOLES

>Glass toys
Glass toys are tempered glass. They don't shatter, except if you drop them. A good example is https://www.amazon.com/Icicles-2905-00-No-5/dp/B003YIFSL6 which is pretty similar to my first.

>Silicone toys
The Bad Dragon memes are real. They make very nice dicks. I have 3 of them in various sizes.

>Flared vibrators
Chink vibes are cheap & plentiful. Utimi's one of the brands, and they don't last long, but they're usually rechargeable and convenient. Don't fall for the bulletmemes, they don't do much once they're up inside. You want something to focus on the prostate.

>Lube
J-Lube is an economical, powdered lubricant where a bottle will last years even if you're pumping 150ml up your butt regularly. I like ID-Glide for a pre-made water-based lubricant.

Anal beads are a bit of a meme imo, but they'd prob do well for beginners. Inflatable buttplugs are usually pretty bad and just feel like a balloon.

Do be warned, though: It will hurt. Especially the first few times. You'll probably shit yourself at some point too. I found a 100ml syringe is an easy way to clean your butt beforehand.

>>36144875
Awesome, thank you for the help kind anon

File: 20141206_190049.jpg (2MB, 2938x2204px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 2938x2204px

>>36140917

In a very obvious cupboard to the side of my desk area, it's no wonder my mom discovered them when I only had 2.

I wish I had a lewd friend that would join me in playing with toys.

>>36145753
irl or online

original post

>>36144875
Wow this is awesome, saved.

>>36145778
Mainly irl, maybe online would work.

>>36145691
>No flint
Are you even trying?

>>36145913

I kind of wanted a flint awhile back, but I haven't used my toys in so long there's not really a point in buying one now, I also have a large rex.

If I own several dildos and buttplugs but would never in my life enter a relationship with a man, does that still make me gay?

>>36140917
>Uncut
TRIGGERED

File: 1490434324788.jpg (532KB, 1080x1920px) Image search: [Google]

532KB, 1080x1920px

>tfw collect deodorant cans
>Going from some lame-ass 5.0 girth dove to a full on 7.5+ Axe can.
>Use spit or cooking oil as lube

Poorfag maximus mode

>>36145806
same

I don't think online would be that good

where are you from?

>>36146148
I'm from the Bay Area.

>>36146162
me too

post contact

>>36146203
oh geez

[email protected]

>>36146003
I don't think so, just get a girl to peg you.

>>36145513
>>36145787

Some things I missed since this was a bit off the cuff:

>On Silicone Toys

I mentioned Bad Dragon because they're probably the best merchant which can actually do high-volume sales. They have autismal QC, and I've had mine for around 7 years now.

Low-volume vendors like Zetapaws are OK too, but most people like human-shaped things at first.

>Buttplugs

Most people use buttplugs as dildos for sex, and never anywhere else. This is
how I use mine too. I don't care much for their every-day use. After a few years, your butt learns to just accept what you want it to regardless.

For use during normal activities, I'd try for something medium-sized. Ensure they're a safe material like silicone or a non-phthalate plastic.

One of my favorites is Doc Johnson's Red Boy series. Most people would find the Medium OK. The Large is good for warming up for larger dildii.

>Sizing

I don't like much beyond 6-7" in length. 7" will hit the back of your anus in a very pleasurable fashion. The more important sizing for dildos is their girth, measured as diameter. For suggestions:

>Baby's first toy (or Undeveloped Teenager-tier): 1" diameter
>Newbie robot: 1.25"-1.5" diameter
>Butt boys: 1.6"-2"
>Seasoned veteran: 2.25"+
>Ruined asshole: 3"+

These numbers may sound small, but you'll understand more when you've owned a few. Eventually, if you're ambitious enough, your limit will become your hip bones.

>On J-Lube

Typically I'll mix a 5:1 water:jlube mixture, microwave it for 4 minutes in a bowl, funnel it to a container, and let it sit overnight. It takes a while to get a good viscosity to it and get the unmixed powder chunks to dissipate.

Lubricant made with J-Lube is perishable. If you're not keeping it in a clean, plastic container, it needs used within a few weeks before it spoils. Don't cum in your lube bottle.

For almost everyone, I'd recommend just using your favorite water-based lube instead of mixing your own, since it takes a bit of finesse.

>>36146479

>tfw used to easily take diameters of 3.5in+

Too bad I'm so out of practice I can't do that anymore, least I still have the videos to prove to myself that I did.

>>36146479

Also J-lube is perishable huh, I guess maybe that's why the last container I had mixed up with it started to look kinda funky.

>>36146746
I'm jelly. I have narrow man hips and can't do more than 3.25 without pushing against the bones uncomfortably.

>>36146776
Commercial lubes have preservatives to keep them fresh. You could add a preservative to it, but mine will usually keep for a few months before it needs tossed, so I don't bother.

>>36146887

Ah gotcha, I'll keep that in mind then. As for pelvis/hips, I did have a similar issue, I could never fully take my XL werewolf, there was just a point at the knot to where it would not budge any further, there wasn't pain or anything, it just wouldn't go any deeper and I think it was because of my pelvis. I could literally put my full weight on it and it wouldn't budge.

>>36146960

and it's weird looking it up my L fusion and XL werewolf supposedly have the same knot size, I could take all my fusion, but not the werewolf.

File: 1490738581187.jpg (47KB, 771x670px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 771x670px

>>36140917
Is this you acnekun?
https://youtube.com/watch?v=0L1RNBAJaU0