How are you feeling today, /r9k/? Let's talk about it.

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>>36112395
Not too hot desu
Its my senior year of highschool and I was going to prom but over the course of a week I broke up with my gf because she wouldn't watch my Sonic video and I picked up a shift at work (an olive garden) and I'm probably just going to see all my class mates with their prom dates today

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>>36112395
Not good. I feel like i could do so much but there's something holding me back from inside, like i know how to interact with girls but i cant do it in the real life situation. It feels like i'm not letting myself to win in order to live in eternal suffering.

>>36112395
Pretty good desu I found out the secret is to date within your means. Now I'm baggin all the ugly girls in my high school and I couldn't be happier

>>36112644
I completely know that feel desu

Went to the dentist today. After a shot of lidocaine the doctor started drilling my tooth which sent a spike of pain through my entire body, so they had to do one more shit. Didn't work, they did two more. It was still painful as fuck but I braved through. Now 4 hours later, I still can't feel my face

>>36112678
It really sucks. Even if i ask myself why am i shooting myself in foot, i cannot answer. I've tried therapy but the most i've realized is that i'm repressed so many feelings that i seek self-destruction of myself due to inability to voice my own opinion.

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some good some bad, at 20 I got my first gf and im going to see her for the first time irl tomorrow and im terrified of it fucking up from virgin autist reactions to physical contact. The last time I got hugged by a girl I got a boner and ree'd at her. Atleast I have a gf I suppose, better to have loved and lost and whatnot

>>36112395
end me pls papa

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I'm okay, it is warm now which is nice, I felt cold earlier. I have been reading manga like I usually do, nothing particularly interesting though

>>36112395
I'm feeling pretty good today, anon! I'm feeling pretty motivated and am going to be productive today. Maybe I'll even go to the library just to be out in public and around other people.

I hope you're doing good too!

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>>36112395
i went back to my old town and saw some old friends

i got "anon, why don't you talk?" a lot and i just wanted to run away most of the time but i did my best
i feel drained now, being around people always makes me feel this way
i wish i was like everyone else, it all seems so natural for them

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Last friend of mine who was single just got a girlfriend.
I feel like even a bigger loser now.

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>>36112784
It has gotten a little worse. Mother was shouting about how I just "Sit on my ass from morning to night", which I suppose is mostly true. Dinner wasn't nice.

>>36112395
I got drunk three days in a row and I feel like dying now.

>>36112395
pretty bad. the weather was nice so i was able to catch some sunshine which came in through my window, which is nice. but it also comes with an everlasting dread of me wanting to run away. i cannot live in this same fucking room anymore. everyday is the same. i wake up at 1pm, sit behind my computer, listen to some music and go to bed at 3 or 4am listening to ASMR. i feel as if my days are all the same and i am constantly living in a loop. it makes me want to run away. just run away, get on board of a train and just see whatever happens.

but sadly i am too much of a social anxiety ridden faggot to do such a thing. maybe one day i will be able to run away and finally be happy. maybe one day.

>>36113397
>wanting to run away
What would you like to do ideally?

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I'm feeling good but odd and reserved.

I just recently got diagnosed with bipolar depression disorder and am on meds. I am also on Vyvanse and i tried all three needs today and i felt really happy but also noticed I'm stuck in my head and thoughts. Idk what to feel or do

I just wanna feel normal

>>36113533
i would like to take a train to a big city like rome or paris (paris not so much anymore because of all the terrorism) and just wander around there. i think that would mentally heal me. seeing something more of this world and maybe even talk to people. i don't know. maybe i just fetishize the outside world because of my loneliness and because i feel entrapped in my room. i am not even fat or extremely ugly. just ridden with social anxiety and an extreme amount of insecurity because of childhood bullying.

>>36113603
>h bipolar depression disorder
How is that apparent in your personality?

>>36113632
I'm confused. What do you mean?

>>36112395
I'm feeling pretty happy with my life

>>36113651
I mean how bipolar manifests in your personality? Wild vs low mood swings?

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>>36113667
i am glad, anon

safdsf

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I think im at my breaking point.

Time to join the robot gods in the next life


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SDTZ7iX4vTQ

>>36113676
It comes in paranoia. Like I'll have millions of things in my head and go through a slew emotions cause of it and lash out in different ways like rage or cry my eyes out or even impulsive needs. I also build up delusion up so much that causes this.

Idk if that really described it well

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Pretty shitty to be honest.

My succsessfull brothers have come home due to it being easter holiday. They make me feel like shit because I have no real achiviments to be proud of.

I also found out today that I cant join the military because of tinnitus. Dreams broken, hopes gone

>be in marching band in high school
>my whole life dream is to become the drum major
>practice every day for hours in all aspects in order to be the best candidate
>finally, it's time for my senior year
>audition
>don't make it
>become a laughing stock
>can't enjoy music anymore
This was 8 years ago, and I'm still depressed about it.

Mooifpufluetkskysymx

>>36113737
Not him but that's exactly what I have too. Constant delusion and paranoia with sudden impulsives and shit

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feeling nothing at all today except mild fatigue.
been like that lately, guess it's better than depression or loneliness.

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>>36112395
>Spend hours trying to solve the 3rd problem from Google Code Jam
>Test it against hundreds of test cases
>"Ok, I finally got it right"
>Red "Incorrect!" at the top of the dashboard says otherwise
>motivation_gone_forever.jpg
>Close the dashboard and my code editor
>Resume shitposting at 4chan
I'm so dumb. I'm too dumb. I shouldn't be this dumb. I thought I was smart enough to get all qualification problems right, but I'm not. I'm a fraud. My life is a lie. I'm useless.

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>>36114652
Don't give up, anon! Failure isn't what defines us; it is how we deal with it that does. If you keep putting in the time and effort you can do it!

I amlucid
But I am ultimately not okay.
Im cool.
But not alright.

You knoe?

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I feel horrible, having suicidal thoughts whole day. I'm such a coward.

>>36114946
>I'm such a coward.
Kekbwhat?

I'm okay, I suppose. Just killing time. I played Myst for a few hours and made some decent progress, and the rest I've spent browsing this site. I know that to get better, I should spend less time here, but I have so much free time that it's unavoidable. I mean, how am I supposed to get a real hobby when nothing brings me pleasure but eating, fapping, and lurking 4chan?

I really should stop eating so much chocolate.

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How long has it been since you guys graduated from high school? Have you guys ever run into someone you graduated high school with? How much did they change?

Its been like 6 years since I graduated and a lot of my old classmates are done with their degrees, getting married, having kids, buying houses and traveling the world.

And all I've been doing is struggling in my classes, hating my major, working a shit job I hate, still being a single virgin and not going anywhere in life. Fucking lost in touch with all my hs friends too. Like every year I loose contact with more and more people. I feel like I will soon be completely alone.

>>36112395
Wifi is destroying my will to live, sapping my motivation, and unraveling my DNA.

Weird. I met a girl. She wanted to be FWB which was perfect. I went to her house after she came to mine and she gave me a gift and was really nice in general. Then she sent me a weird audio and blocked me.

She wasn't even hot. Kinda gross, even. So it's not like I really care, but I liked the idea of getting a steady fuck. The thing that bothers me is that I'm not quite sure why she blocked me. She was being such a good girl right before she did, could've at least gave me a hint.

>>36115949
She probably caught feeling for you, but knew that you didn't like her back, so she just ended up bailing.

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>>36112395
Bored and slightly sad.
A guy i know invited me to hang out, i came planning to get wasted, we've gone to get 3 bottles of vodka but i haven't drank anything in like 1.5 weeks and just tasting it was enough for me to get a gag reflex.
So i didn't get drunk, watched some random fucking freak from another town make out with a girl, hold hands with that girl for no real reason and other uninteresing shit.
Turned out one of the guys (there was like 15 people including me) had birthday on the same day i do, so we bro-ed it up a bit and he added me on fb, doesn't matter since i don't write to anyone and i don't get texts.
Oh and we stole a shopping cart from local supermarket, cool, i guess.
Me on the pic.

>>36115986
Thats fucking stupid man.

Oneitis called me, she wanted to see me. I had my mobile silenced so I didnt noticed her calls. Called her back but now is too late, she already got home...

>>36112395
Pretty shitty. I feel very broken and sad.

I have no actual friends anymore, and still no gf. Also, I think that no one at work really likes me and that they all talk shit behind my back. And there's some other stuff that makes me feel sad, I guess.

>>36115986
I have a hard time grasping the concept of people catching feelings for me, but you might be right. She says she just wanted to be fuck buddies and I was like "sure" but when women say shit they often mean the opposite.

She even asked if I mind if she holds my hand. I said its fine but didnt hold hers back, just let her hold mine. I guess what you say makes sense.

>>36112609
Whhat happened? Are you doing alright?
Would it be possible to go as friends with her?
Are you focusing on school?

>>36112725
Fuck that sucks, when they did that, did they ask any physical questions like how much you weigh or are allergic? Or anything? Where are you from, they might do this to me, please, please respond asasp!

Same which is good
Who wants to argue it can be alright

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>>36113902
I wanted to join the military as well but couldn't.

It's a really bad feel.

What were you planning on going into?

i can't make my hair look good. i don't like it when the wind blows at it and makes it look bad.
i feel uncomfortable walking outside without a jacket on. i wish someone could teach me how to become a man.

wish I had a car. probably gonna get one before the end of the year, need a job first which shouldnt be too hard. need a haircut though, don't wanna cut it off cause I get so many compliments for it but having hair like I do isn't attractive to employera because fuck if I know

>>36112609
>normalfag had a gf
>nobody REEEing him and telling him to fuck off

This place is dead.

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the usual

originalsndkn

>>36113982
you became a laughing stock because you didn't become a drum major? where do you live where people actually care enough about the school band to make fun of you for that?

>>36116697
Yes anon because responding to each and every literal underage child on this fucking site sure has raised the quality of the place. You probably didn't even sage either, nigger.

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Not good. I managed to snag myself a robot bf and it's been rocky lately. I already explained to him multiple times that I'm a really jealous guy and he said that it was alright, but today we were talking about what kind of sexual stuff we like and he somehow decided it was a good idea to tell me about the time some guy had him do some sexual shit and how "hot" it was. I told him I was mad that he would bring that up, and even if I wasn't insanely jealous, that wouldn't be a good thing to tell your boyfriend. He got mad at me for being mad at him and just stopped talking. Now I'm going to be sad all day till he comes back online because I feel bad even though I didn't do anything wrong (I think?) Did I?
>inb4 get out rooooo

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>>36116423

>She even asked if I mind if she holds my hand. I said its fine but didnt hold hers back, just let her hold mine

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About to go into work in a few minutes. My oneitis is going to be there which always lifts my spirits. Of course her boyfriend will probably be working this shift too so I'll just feel like more of a cuck than usual

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>>36112395
I feel pretty devoid of meaning. It's like whatever I do I just know it won't lead to a bright future.

>>36116827
>come back online

ahahahahahaha

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>>36116892
>she has a boyfriend
>robot still orbits her
why?

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>>36116964
YOU AREN'T HELPING, ANON

>>36112644
Sounds like a fear of failure. I can relate.

>>36112725
Please respond to my question!!

my gums and tooth hurt

>>36116997
if so, where are the roots of it?

>>36116827
He will continue to act that way for as long as you continue to put up with it. Gain some self-esteem and date someone who respects you.

>>36112395
my only two friends make me feel like a fifth wheel and I got noone else in life besides them and anonymous imageboards

>>36112395
fucking terrible. I can feel something dark building up inside me, I don't think I'm gonna make it to the end of the year. Suicide feels very close.

>>36117018
>expects a poster from 4+ hours ago to still be around
Lurk more, newfag.

>>36117051
Fuck you, I'm not new.
Could you help me with a tooth question?

>>36112395
>Let's talk about it.
I can only post youtube links
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlAmKsmLav8

>>36117051
Not him but I often spend 6+ consecutive hours on 4chan.

>>36117045
I know that, how do you plan to do it?

>>36116861
Didn't want her to get any weird ideas. Guess I blew it.

>>36117199
Right. I often do the same but the majority of 4chan nowadays are literal underage newfags and most people are not around in the same thread for hours on end.

Not checking post times is a huge sign of newfaggotry.

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>>36117085
What's the problem, anon?
>Not original

>>36117249
I chipped a small portion my tooth, the third tooth somewhat near the canine tooth. I was wondering if I get a filling when they will do the anesthetic injection or before that do they ask questions like how much you weigh or if your allergic or sensitive to the anesthesia?
I've had my tooth fills done as a kid so I'm really scared of how they're going to do, and scared because I already got a tooth taken out in the back, it's bad..I don't want to lose another tooth..

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I dunno. Feeling empty as usual.
At this point, I'm just waiting for P5 to come in the mail and then distract myself from this sadness for a long while.

>>36117429
better to lose a teeth than the whole set

Still live 3000 miles apart and will continue to for the foreseeable future.
My best escapism option isn't any longer.
Every pessimistic expectation I have of the humans I know is affirmed every opportunity given.
Not as if any of it comes as a surprise so it's all just feels dull.

>>36117465
You didn't answer my question..

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

>>36112395
Went to a concert. Met up with a friend. Realize I no longer like metal or belong here.
Have a sudden shitty feeling. Can't say anything honest without offending people.

inb4 le'reddit didn't greentext

>>36117429
You should ask a dentist, anon. I'm not sure why you think you'd find dental advice here of all places, but I hope your tooth gets better.

>>36117429
Never go to a Jewish dentist. That's all I have to say.

>>36117743
How do I know if I go to one?
I think they're asian? Or Caucasian, I don't know if they're jewish...

>>36117722
I'd though I'd find at least someone who knew..

>>36117824
He will almost kill you and overcharge for it? Also has a Jewish surname since they are proud out of their linage.

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Job hunting sucks.
Most of the apprenticeships here have gone past their acceptance date, meaning I have to wait a year to join.

Most other companies say they are hiring but really are not

I'm stuck at a part time job which pays decent but the hours are poor. At least I can stay late and get extra money.

>>36112676
you and i on the same boat, kinda
except that the girls that im dating are not top tier but quite cute imo

i am feeling ok. i was just thinking i shouldn't of had my physical therapist call the police. i shouldn't of left to go to friend's house.

I'm feeling quite good, despite heavy partying yesterday. This chick I like invited me out

>>36118048
cant get a job in my field without an interneship,
internships require internship experience(figure that one out)

>>36117019
Idk. Anxiety? Over analyzing? Wanting to succeed is fairly natural, the trick is to get past/accept failure. I don't personally know how to accept failure and not let it negatively affect me.

>>36117863
ArAre you the same anon that doesn't buy Jewish products?

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My depression is really bad today. On a scale of 1-10, I am a solid 1. Earlier I was starving, but there was literally nothing I could think of that I wanted to eat. and I LOVE food. I also tried to nap earlier but I couldn't because of my exploding head syndrome.

>>36118122
Could you try asking a nearby college to internship there?

Good! Watched some kamen rider amazons, then went for a run, smoked a cigarette. Feeling good man.

>>36118345
my university doesnt have internships, no

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I made friends with a girl on Overwatch a few days. She likes me, she sounds cute and we flirt by bantering with each other while we play.

I want to ask her for her phone number but then I start overthinking things like her not liking me if we share our faces at one point or something like that.

>>36118295
I don't think they are any around here. Maybe you are talking about kosher tax.

Well that's literally a tribute. But can't bother to check products for it.

>>36118122
What's your degree in?
This is original

>>36112395
Lost some friends today, so I feel like shit

Sad, found out my only friend was only being my friend out of pity and not out of pure friendship

I've had better days.

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Countless times I have attempted to do this. To write out how I feel in a concise and accurate way. Is that the problem? Can introspection ever be accurate and concise when the perspective is so heavily biased? I don't know.

I could for the thousandth time write out my life story, or what I believe to be my life story at least. Again, how can I KNOW what happened? It's all been filtered through my perception and biases, so how will I ever make objective observations about my life?

I read an article today about a psychological disorder called C-PTSD. It hasn't yet been added to the DSM-V, but has been proposed for the ICD-11 (the WHO's classification for diseases). I often find a symptom here or there that applies to me when I look into disorders, but this was different. Especially one line;

'Loss of, or changes in, one's system of meanings, which may include a loss of sustaining faith or a sense of hopelessness and despair.'

To see that written out in black and white hurts. The fact my major problem can be narrowed down to a statement on a webpage depresses me. Every symptom on the article fits me to the letter, but that one strikes me the hardest. But AGAIN, how do I know this? How am I to factually know that I have these symptoms? I don't know. I want to know. A psychologist could tell me I had the disorder and I'd probably believe them out of confirmation bias if nothing else.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complex_post-traumatic_stress_disorder

Is this just another one of my watershed moments that by the next day are totally forgotten? Quite likely. I think to myself;

'This time, try. This time remember what you wrote and what you believed at that moment.'

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>>36118680
But it never happens. The next day I wake up and go about my day as per usual without a thought to the "profound" realisations I made the night before. I can read the writings again, and they elicit that same watershed feeling, and within a few hours it's gone. It's miserable. I'm aware of it, but still cannot change.

This is a common theme in my life. Painful self-awareness but a total inability to put it into practice and change. Why? If I knew I'd fix it. I hate the contradiction, it's like enlightened ignorance. I completely understand my own lack of understanding. I'd like to think that's profound, but I know it's just typical angst teen bullshit along with ninety nine percent of what I write. See, there I go again. Enlightened ignorance.

What more do I write? I want a concise record of my thoughts and feelings and this is nothing but drivel. I give up.

Whoever reads this, thank you. Whoever replies, I'll get back to you within minutes.

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>>36112609
>Wouldnt watch my sonic video
Wut

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>>36112395
Terrible.

Mosquito bite me and woke me up in the middle of the night. No sleep today.

There is something weird/wrong in my shoulder blade and I need a doc to check it.
At best, is nothing but a painful annoyance and will go away with time.
At worst, some malformed shit that I'll have for the rest of my life.

I tried talking with one of only 3 friends. He didn't say anything for a week. Turns out, he found a slut gf using an app and he never really wanted to be my friend, he only wanted lewdness from me.
Which really, really sucks and reinforces my opinion that humanity is shit and I should just isolate myself and commit sudoku once all family is gone.

So yeah, fuck this, fuck this day, fuck my life and fuck me. I want to get drunk and cry.

>>36112395
Horrible. Decided to take a walk through my neighborhood and saw my oneitis from high school pull up to her parent's house. I'm pretty sure she saw me and recognized me, but she just pulled into her driveway and didn't get out of her car until I was done walking past her driveway. No greeting or anything to indicate recognition. The sad thing is we were good friends.

>>36112395
Just got back home after hanging out with my only friend. Every time I go out on saturday nights I realize how much of a loser I am compared to all the normies out there

I'm sitting here posting on here and eating a block of cheese.

I seen ppl post pics of ppl eating blocks of cheese on here so that's where I got the idea.

I feel like that.

>>36118541
>What's your degree in?
Graduated already so its too late,
but electrical engineering.

I wanna get drunk but there's no alcohol at home and I dont wanna go outside today.

Life sucks. I need to get drunk.

I just realized my parents are narcissists

They always have to be right, they always tell me that I'm not good enough and that I'm fucking everything up. And my mom always screams and shouts and says that no one cares about her and that she's the only one doing anything

How do I fix myself? My social anxiety is probably because of them, and my ADHD and OCD too.

ree. I mean I love them. But how do I fix this shit up?

>>36119209
I graduated as a welder, but no form of qualification other than just the Certificates from the technical school.
I've had several interviews but nothing came up.

>>36119521
I sent out 279 resumes in 2016, i've just given up at this point.

>>36112395
Well, every day I realize more that this is probably all there is for me and that I'll achieve none of the things I wanted. So pretty shit.

I'm trying to give up weed but now I'm just drinking more

I would rather be a pothead than a drunk so I'm thinking of going back to just weed

I don't know how people can live while being constantly sober it just makes no sense to me

>>36119348
>I just realized my parents are narcissists
Because? Answer yourself. Are they wrong?

>How do I fix myself?
Stop blaming others. You won't improve that way.

>>36119576
I've sent around several hundred resumes out, am under several temp agencies, and still nothing has come up.

I swear, job hunting creates serial killers.

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>>36118680
>>36118711
Anons, what deters you from replying to my posts? I must know so I can get my (You)s in the future.

>>36112395
Was having a pretty good day. Things were fun. I was getting some stuff done. Then I let myself think for more than a couple minutes. Now everything is boring again, and I remember how much I don't want to live my life.

In a decent mood, to be honest.

The weather here in the Rust Belt is rather alright. I took my motorcycle for a spin around town, dropped by the university library, and picked up a couple books on a subject I'm researching.

I'm going to spend a while at home and then I'm meeting a friend at night to watch some UFC.

>>36119643
epic meme bro

so how do I fix myself now? other than not blaming others

>>36112395
I'm feeling pretty sad.

I'm a paranoid schizo & yesterday, after a lot of anxiety & courage building, attempted to reconnect with an old friend who abruptly cut all contact with me about a year & a month ago. He had me added on Live for a few months after he started ignoring me, but when I went to check if he responded to my message today, he had blocked me without even explaining why he cut contact in the first place.

This has happened with a lot of my former friends & I never get a straight answer. I've resigned myself to the reality that I'm simply not meant to have friends.

>>36120082
Don't blame others. You want to fix yourself.

It's easier to tell others what to do than actual do something yourself.
But guess what. People aren't stupid. They won't do something just because you want.
Do it first and set an example. Others will follow if your are right.

>>36118680
>>36118711
>>36118711
>>36119952
Idk

Imma red.
Its long and not aesthetically spaced at a glance

>>36120244
Thank you Anon.

Checked.

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>>36118680
>A psychologist could tell me I had the disorder and I'd probably believe them out of confirmation bias if nothing else.

>Can introspection ever be accurate and concise when the perspective is so heavily biased? I don't know.


>I could for the thousandth time write out my life story, or what I believe to be my life story at least. Again, how can I KNOW what happened? It's all been filtered through my perception and biases, so how will I ever make objective observations about my life?


>Is this just another one of my watershed moments that by the next day are totally forgotten? Quite likely. I think to myself;
>'This time, try. This time remember what you wrote and what you believed at that moment.'

>>36118711
>This is a common theme in my life. Painful self-awareness but a total inability to put it into practice and change. Why? If I knew I'd fix it. I hate the contradiction, it's like enlightened ignorance. I completely understand my own lack of understanding. I'd like to think that's profound, but I know it's just typical angst teen bullshit along with ninety nine percent of what I write. See, there I go again. Enlightened ignorance.


>But it never happens. The next day I wake up and go about my day as per usual without a thought to the "profound" realisations I made the night before. I can read the writings again, and they elicit that same watershed feeling, and within a few hours it's gone. It's miserable. I'm aware of it, but still cannot change

I read your posts.


You know.
You are without a doubt my favorite person I have never met.

Are you familiar with the term 'oxymoron'?

>>36112395
In severe pain but too broke to go get it checked out. Living paycheck to paycheck here, going to hospital will cause me to end up living in a cardboard box under an overpass.

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>>36120378
Thank you anon, I feel like it was worth the effort now.

Why do you feel that way? I am a horrible person in my opinion.

I am, yes. I have used the word to describe my state of mind in the past, and I'm sure I'll use it again in the future.

We're all oxymorons here, moaning to one another about our sadness on a frogposting board dedicated to the worship of sadness as a trait that makes us superior...

I don't care anymore. I'm a 30yo without a decent job, a college degree, friends, money, a job or anything else that is normal for other people. At least I have a good health and can enjoy good food and drinks once a week.

>mother thinks I'm too antisocial and need counseling
>All I've done is focused on nothing but my academics and my future career. While staying out of trouble and romance.

Its not like I'll end up being a school shooter. Why does she have to be worried.

>>36120480
>Why do you feel that way? I am a horrible person in my opinion.
Because you remind me of the very reason I started lurking this board like fucking 9 years ago.

Almost word for word of when I started to post.

Before I broke I guess.

I'll tell you this.
I say broke because I let that circular loop of trying to "understand" things consume me.

If you aren't insulted or unsettled by my saying so, you and I may very well be insane.

As an objective fact, supported only by the definition of the word.

To try and reach a different conclusion (i.e in our cases a conclusion of thought or understanding) while stuck in our own perceptions.

Your outcomes will always be biased in ways you are incapable of understanding.

You can't truly "know" much of anything, much less yourself. Not when there are ways you can subconsciously omit the truth and mar your findings.

If this sounds grim I apologize.

>What more can I write

Im familiar with that feeling.
Its something not easily described.

"What more"
Why should I?
Its already been said
How can I improve my articulation without reguritating the same information?
Etc. Etc.

Like feeling what "the" robot goes through.
Sorting through posts almost.

>>36112395
she doesn't love me

crippling loneliness

plagued with existential thoughts all day every day

nothing feels good anymore, i can't enjoy anything anymore

idk why God has cursed me with this life

>>36112644
>It feels like i'm not letting myself to win in order to live in eternal suffering.

this

>>36112395
I'm feeling okay. I haven't done much as I'm a bit tired and my grades got fucked up this quarter but i'm happy.
I decided several years ago I would be a permavirgin and have worked on removing my desire for meaningful human contact, not because I'm "too intelligent" or even to focus on more meaningful things, but because if I remove my desire for something i'm happier

>>36120727
>If you aren't insulted or unsettled by my saying so, you and I may very well be insane.

And this, this is the most maddening fucking thing of all. Am I REALLY insane? Or do I just perceive myself to be insane? Is my attempt to rationalise what I percieve as insanity in itself insanity? Am I just spouting edgy bullshit, or am I at the crux of my issue? Or maybe I'm just fucking stupid.

I lay awake at night thinking about this.

>As an objective fact, supported only by the definition of the word.

>To try and reach a different conclusion (i.e in our cases a conclusion of thought or understanding) while stuck in our own perceptions.

>Your outcomes will always be biased in ways you are incapable of understanding.

My eyes and brain hurt reading this, it's like my entire system of rationalisation was another person.

Do you like the film Fight Club Anon?

>whenever I come to /r9k/ I start feeling miserable and bad about being a manlet and dicklet, insecurities start to come out and I start to wonder if girls would laugh at small dick
>leave /r9k/ and feel happy playing vidya, fapping and watching anime/movies
Why is that?

>>36120728
are you me
I came here to post pretty much the same thing

>>36112395
Bretty good overall. Woke up, had sex with gf. Then went to gaming cafe and wooped my pals in battlefield 1. Then had a filet mignon and some salmon at a nice restaurant with my gf, followed by free drinks and some bantz with the guys i hit the town with last night, at the bar i bartend at. Problem is, gf is a little jelly now that one of my fucking meme of a friend told her that i recieve a lot of attention behind the bar from other girls. Went home, had sex, made a drink for myself. Now, sipping bourbon straight and getting comfy with anti-semitic papers on jewish media influence and 4chan.

I'm feeling good due to a recent triumph in what any normal person would call a stupid, petty dispute about nothing. Hell, I KNOW it's a stupid, petty dispute about nothing, YET I DON'T CARE, I feel ecstatic nonetheless. Otherwise, I'm the same autistic self. I go weeks without having a live-person conversation that's more than "would you like fries with that" or "when is the paper due."

And is it just me, or has this board's normie problem gotten worse over the last few months? I think it's due to the election, Left-wing normies started seeing on their faceberg feeds that "4Chan won the election" and now they come here and troll.

>>36120940

Normally I tend to ignore normies, but this trolling is kinda funny. "Bretty" done, failed normie, we're all "jelly," we totally believe that normies talk like that. How can you be a normie when you're antisemitic?

>>36121232
im not a normie, i just hide my powerlevel in public

>>36120877
>Am I just spouting edgy bullshit, or am I at the crux of my issue? Or maybe I'm just fucking stupid.
Kek the first is subjective the second is correct and the third is subjective also.


>Do you like the film Fight Club Anon?
Its up there with my favorites, i'm not sure if the track by the pixies in the end is so much better because it was in that film or if its just good.

The lyrics and the tune just trigger the hairs on my body to stand stiff.

I think I liked it as much as anyone did when it came out if not more.

The theme was incredibly receptive and quotable to me.

Being insane is what you make it honestly.
I just think of it as plainly as being right handed.

"I think too much."
"Relative to what standard?" says a voice.

Then Socrates fucking drop kicks me.
It snowballs into some ugly shit after that.
The questions.

The confusion makes me bitter when I realize how isolated I am with this predicament.

I come here for you.
Anyone and everyone like you.

But when all I get to read are posts about people who have nothing that bothers them but social status and lack of intimacy.

Boy howdy.
The school shooter robot inside does not have "normalfags" on the targeting system. Not by a mile.