tired of reality

I feel you. In reality, humans are just like animals. We follow the leader and act like idiots. We do things because they're trends and we want to fit in. Even chad does what he wants because he wants to fit in. Even that rusty old politican and that scary soldier, they do what they do because they ready a book or were told what to do or they just want to fit in.

>>36100733
I guess schizophrenics, autistics, psychopaths, mentally ill in general are the most free because their brains decided to fuck being a human being.

Until Chad grabs your throat and collapses your windpipe for acting a fool around him

Read Camus
Myth of Sisyphus

i am look for sweet spot of capacity of live but with imposition of total subjective interpret the senses

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Yeah I think about it as my endgame before killing myself.
Of course in reality I'm too much of a bitch to go through with it and have to wait to die slowly.
But I can dream.

Sort of hit this yesterday after getting really shit faced at a bar after work. Threw up in my car, watch my.new hero Steven Assanti. Depressed as fucking usual, then like lightning I woke up. Decided of I was going to die I was going to at least do things I wanted too. Going to quit my job and just travel around, working when I can, life off savings. I finally feel free.