Any legitimate depressed/hopeless people left on this board?

I often want to express my hopelessness but I feel like there's nothing unique to say

>>36093483
And outside of here, who'd really even want to listen?

Yeah but the antidepressants kill most of my feelings so that's pretty good.

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>>36093434
>been depressed (diagnosed) since grade school
>never got better
>very likely autistic
>eyes fucked from days on end of vidya
>teeth fucked from heavy sugar intake
>no friends in real life or internet

I'm 26 working a min wage job with no prospects, no hope of anything ever improving. No money to treat my mental or physical ailments.

On top of that I totaled my dads car he was letting me use and had to use every last penny paying off fines and finding a junket to buy so I could keep wageslaving.


There is nothing left in me anymore. I'm just a husk of a man trying to push himself to suicide or failing working up the courage to live as a homeless nobody who will die on the street once my parents are fed up with their failure of a son.

I am even too autistic +depressed for the nerds and nerdic girls. I dont want to die i just want to sleep and not wake up. I already lost interest in games, porn, and social life. Now I am trying to do some lifting+cardio but I guess I will give it up soon

>>36093434
>28
>never had job
>neet for 5 or six years (cannot remember)
>no friends, not even online
>parents don't let me drink (suddenly)
>treat me with less and less respect
>years have gone by and no bux
I'll very soon live in a tent, then get sent to jail for a year over it, I'm sure. There is no way out. Life isn't worth living without benders. It takes too much to live on your own because of the ridiculous price of rent. There is no way out. I can imagine standing only working 4 hours a day for five days a week, 80 hours a month, half of full time, but that'd be only around 500 dollars after taxes minimum wage. I'd probably get caught living in an office space or similar also. My only hope is a cabin boat, but getting a license for that sounds impossible, and drinking vodka on a boat? [vomiting intensifies] And it's not like they don't randomly crack down on hobbo boats too.

I wish the world wasn't so shit. Nothing ever gets better. It only gets worse. They've paid everyone less and less ever since the 1970s. Fuck the powers that be.

I'm 26 and I've never had a girlfriend or even my first kiss. I just quit my job today. I've been sick with a cold for 3 weeks and I'm tired of breaking my back for minimum wage. Nobody takes me seriously. I'm not good with people. I dont have any friends. I' m just sitting here waiting for the incoming storm that is my family finding out about my job

>>36093990
>>36093952
>>36093800
>>36093595

I want to give you all a big hug.

>>36094030
I don't want a hug I want a life that's not fair and not ridiculous.

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>>36093434
Everything feels pointless, I have almost no hobbies and find almost no entertainment in them. I've tried finding new things that I enjoy but no succes. I feel like I'm slowly dying by my daily routines and the rules society has placed on everyone (go to school, get a job, get married, get kids,)

I'm also autistic and anti social making it very hard for me to talk to others, and when I do it ends up being awkard. I've taken multiple medicines and therapies but they don't work. Life just doesn't feel worth it.

I'm only 20 but I've been depressed for as long as I can remember. Even as a young child I had a deep sadness within me that I could not explain. I have been up and down health wise, with my main issues coming from eating disorders; ive been anorexic, bulimic, and a binge eater. I have no motivation to do anything and I am exhausted all of the time. I'm taking ssris, but I am resistant to them (Ive tried about a dozen) and they only give me side effects. I'm currently going to school but I have no interest in studying anything, and I know that even if I finish I will end up at a job that I hate. I feel bad because my parents love me and want me to succeed, but Im just unable to care. I'm very ugly, which has made it even more difficult to find any source of hope. I am just going along for the ride until I somehow die or I finally get the energy/courage to kill myself. The worst part is that I was born into a situation where I was guaranteed to succeed, and I still managed to fuck it up. I have two successful siblings who got lucky with better genetics than me; i guess that there has to be at least one failure in each family

I feel like girls have interest in me as long as I don't have interest in them when I start to like or love them they hurt and humiliate me. Yeah I am a faggot who wants love and gives a fuck about being a fuckbuddy. My friends who say they are not capable of feeling love are loved by many women. Women kiss me but when I start to feel passion+love they ignore me. I think all the time about this

>>36093434
I've been depressed so long I'm kind of used to it. Have a mini-breakdown occasionally though.

>>36094215
I remember the first time I felt depressed. It was after we moved when I was 10. It was exactly like you described. A deep sadness that I couldn't explain

I'm nothing, I'll never be anything. I don't want to live my life and that makes me feel guilty and that makes me feel even worse about myself.
I just want out so bad.

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>>36094130
not unfair*
captcha: kill extra

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>>36094030
T-thanks anon, I want to hug you back.

My soul has long since parted from my body. What remains is a bloated cadaver decaying mostly from the inside. My sins are etched into my face, deeper every day. The stench from the rot exposes me. No matter how much I shower, others can smell that I am decaying. I have no dignity. My body grows more deformed with every passing day. I watch it lumbering up and down and out and in, doing things out of habit but without scope. Like an abandoned watch that keeps alarming every day because it's previous owner had once set it to.
The body is an abomination. Unnatural. And against everything that is good and holy, it refuses to die.

I don't know if I'm depressed. but I have this constant screaming voice in my pocket and every time I go in to grab it, it jumps to a different pocket

>>36093563
are they worth going on?

I don't think I even have something to say. I'm just dead inside, it's all empty.

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It's so hard to feel anything anymore. It takes considerable effort just to get up and do something. I spend most of my time reminiscing about better times with that awful ringing in my ears from the silence as my only companion. I no longer feel human really.

Last month my sister died of an overdose and ive been contemplating just ending it all. She was the closest person to me in my life and I just feel so fucking helpless without her. I hate this feeling and I just don't want to be alive anymore

stopped taking the lithium/abilify/amitryptaline some months ago
trying to stop the lorazepam but it's killing me
I can deal with the despair but I can't deal with the mania and rage
might just have to dose myself with copious amounts of chinese benzodiazepines until I die.

Tuesday it'll be a year since I became a NEET. I keep telling my parents I'll get a job and that shit is looking good but honestly I haven't left my apartment in months because I'm so lethargic and anxious all the time. I order delivery and play videogames all day, I barely leave my couch, not even to sleep. I can't stand the idea of working anymore. I see no purpose in suffering for the sake of money. I'd honestly rather kill myself and once my savings run dry I plan on doing so. It sounds edgy, but I genuinely hate everything about the world and how it works. People ruin everything that's halfway decent, and it's expected of you to ruin your own life to keep the cycle going. If you refuse, everyone looks down on you. It's all about money. You can't escape it, no matter what you do. There's always someone trying to steer your choices, someone trying to fuck you over, someone looking to take advantage of you. And for what? There's nothing good about the way we're expected to live our lives. I'd rather give mine up.

I can't picture a future that I want. There's nothing that would make me happy enough to want to work to live another 10, 20, 30, ... 60 years all the while dealing with my other illnesses. There's no hope, but at the same time, if I kill myself, I'll just be hurting the people I care about. I can't handle the stress, anxiety, paranoia, and exhaustion of being a person though.

>>36095667
>I no longer feel human really
Sometimes I feel like I'm less than human.

I'm hopeless but not because I'm depressed, but because I actually have a bad life

>>36095388
not the same anon, but if you haven't been able to get better by other means and you've exhausted all other options, I would honestly say give them a try. Sometimes it can take a while and a few different medications to find one that works best for you, so it's important to go in it with an open mind and stay open and honest with your doctor if you think it's helping or not.

It's also best to not think of them as a cure all/something to be on forever. Use them as a stepping stone to get to a better place mentally. Basically, I just want you to know they're not something you have to be on forever but can help you a lot with getting to a point where you are able to cope on your own better.

Good luck anon.

>>36093434
I have no self control and am completely ruled by my emotions. I hate myself but am unable to change.

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>>36093434
I just want to die peacefully, I am a fucking brainlet and can't do elementary math, so in my country I can be only a wageslave for the rest of my life. All jobs that doesn't required math skills are for the family members like lawyers etc. The rest are for wagecucks and STEM guys and In that fucking Slavland NEETbux is low as shit and only for a few months for people without serious physical disability. I'm going to off myself soon. Also I had a fucking bone cancer so the death will come for me soon anyway.

>>36095925
is there any way out of your bad life? any steps that could be taken to make things better?

what's your situation like, if you don't mind talking about it a bit?

I was super depressed the last week but I feel good today. Kind of worried I'm bipolar or something, or maybe it's just normal ups and downs.

i'm back in university and not hopeless anymore. girls are giving me attention for the first time in my life.
feels alright man.

I am legally blind, a virgin, and approaching my mid twenties.

I think my life is kind of hopeless. I doubt I'll ever have any sort of structure or success in life. I doubt I'll ever have a family or a career.

I guess I at least have an excuse and people don't ever judge me for anything, least of all my parents since my condition is genetic and they knew full well I could turn out this way.

But yeah, it kind of sucks. I'll probably just try and find some form of fufillment elsewhere once I've finished university. At least I can still hear perfectly, I'll probably start listening to a lot of audio books and just try to learn as much as I can.

>>36095361
Dude what the fuck? I think that's a whole 'nother realm of mental illness.

>>36095937
When you give into such a feeling, that is when it becomes absolute.

>>36095993
>girls are giving me attention for the first time in my life

I can't even imagine how it looks, I don't know that feel fellow anon

>>36093434
no, you dont miss it. you know what you miss? feeling better about your own life when you compare it to the down-and-out, hopeless, irredeemable, loser trash that post in those threads. thats all you care about. you read those posts and chuckle to yourself and think, "thank fucking god my life isnt as bad as these people, wew! theres actually people worse off than me" . dont lie and pretend otherwise.

>>36095958
Hmm. I'm poor, ugly, stupid, lazy, and I have gyno and bad posture. No.

>>36093990

So what if your family find out about your job?

>>36095388
They only help normal fags

I just dont understand what is so wrong with me and why I cant do very basic things everyone else on society does

what if you never had any hope?

even before i hit my teenage years i started smoking herb and wasting my youth on the computer. Why the fuck was i even born

>19 here

only reason i am still alive is because those J's aint gonna smoke em selves

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I'm being forced to die.

Family disowned me and society collectively wants me dead. I'm denied employment literally everywhere. Fast food won't take me retail won't take me manual labor won't take me. The military won't take me and disability won't pay me.

I have exhausted every possible option fighting with everything to survive as long as I have. There is no way for me to earn an income and pay for food or shelter. Within 3 months I will be homeless and forced to steal to survive. I will be caught and jailed and released and caught and jailed with increasingly severe punishments until I die.

Society wants me fucking dead.

It's so fucking unfair. I don't want to die. I'm desperate to keep living. God, I want nothing more than for someone to tell me "it's okay for you to keep living."

This feeling is hell. Everyone wants me to die. I'm being forced to die. Businesses want me to die, police want me to die, people passing on the street want me to die. The whole society wants me to just quietly go off and die.

Nobody even feels guilty about it. There's not even vindication of hurting people and making them feel bad for making me die. No. They don't feel guilty at all. They think I deserve this.

>>36096510
DUDE HERB

DUDE J's

>>36096610
Everything would be solved if I just had a little money. Not even a lot of money, just a small income, put me at the poverty line and that's enough. Everything stems from a lack of money.

The chronic insecurity and anxiety that comes with not knowing if you will be able to keep a roof over your head. Not being able to eat decent food. Not being able to afford clothing or haircuts. Having health problems and not affording treatment or medication. A mouth full of broken teeth with big cavities that chunks of food get stuck in.

It destroys your mental health and repels other people. It makes it seem like those Perfect Normal people with clean new clothes and short haircuts and good health and shiny white teeth are from another world, like they're superhumans that you could never dream of becoming, like it's something totally unattainable. Really all it takes is a little bit of money. That's it.

Even their happy, likable personalities come from money. From having well off loving and supportive families and friends. From never really having to worry about anything in life. Without money your personality twists into something rotten and mean.

You're focused every day on a hard task of surviving. Of somehow finding some food and a place to sleep. There's no room for a personality there. All the nice fatty charisma gets burned off and what you're left with is a desperate starving dog that bites at people. Bitter and paranoid and filthy and utterly unlikable.

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>>36096633


A miserable pit of hell that only gets deeper all the time. You can't pay for car insurance and the shop won't renew your registration until you buy a new muffler you can't afford. A cop gives you a ticket not for speeding, or running a red light, or driving unsafely, but for being too poor to have your paperwork in order.

Can't pay the ticket because if you had money it wouldn't be a problem in the first place. So your license is suspended. Next you're charged with aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle. A crime. Now you're a criminal. Not for doing anything dangerous, not for harming or endangering anyone. It's because you're poor. It's for not having enough money.

The whole world the whole system it's all like that. The less you have the more you're shit on and exploited and denied. I was already broke, how am I supposed to get a job with a criminal record? How am I supposed to get a job without a vehicle to get there? Without expensive training and education? Without clean clothes and a haircut and a Perfect Normal face?

There needs to be an initial monetary investment. Parents who provide the things that are necessary for their child to succeed and meet the minimum requirements of a modern working adult. How is anyone supposed to survive without that? You need money to make money, and when you're truly fully broke you're fucked. You're dead. Everyone hates you and the world conspires to make you dead.

>>36093483
I guess you could say describing it is hopeless

Carlos.jpg

>>36096510

>18
>thinks his life is over

You won't believe me but you are a child. There is no difference between you and some 14 year old depressed because the girl he likes at school ignores him.

You have no actualy problems faggot. You spent your teenage years smoking weed like a ton of retarded kids. Get the fuck out of here queer.

Had a mental breakdown/drug induced psychosis coming up to 3 years ago now. Been trying to shake off the negative thoughts and cloudy head feelings but I seem to be back in a rut once again. Anyone got advice for me?

>>36096681

Meant 19 obviously

>>36096626


DUDE FUCKING WEED LMAOOOOOO


I fucking tried to subvert that stuff out of my brain, i really did. But it just get encoded in you.
Try hanging out with a bunch of faggots who are unproductive and does nothing but smoke.

You ever heard that saying, that your 5 closest freinds define you? well fucking multiply that by 5 and you will become a mindless drone.

>but you probably dont even have 5 stoner friends. sorry anon

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>Depression is getting worse
>Constant thoughts revolving around killing myself or harming myself
>don't know what to do

ahhhhHHHHHHH

>>36093434
I was sometimes a normie, sometimes a Chad, but I'm more depressed than over 95% of this board, yourself included. You even lose at this - as you do at everything else compared to me. You're nothing.

>>36096715
>Having any kinds of friends at all
>Thinks he has a right to be hopeless

Get a load of this guy.

>>36096610
Did you copy and paste that from Wizardchan?

>>36096808


As those guys give a fuck about me frienderino, we just smoke together.

>>36093434
I don't know why I'm even living anymore, I don't feel bad or good, I just don't feel anything at all, it's just empty inside.
I know I'm not the worst guy out there, and I could possibly get a girlfriend, the problem is that I don't have any friends, and that I won't have the chance to meet any girls for the next 6 months at least, even then I have zero experience.

>>36096848
you don't know the definition of hopeless, you have friends you smoke with, that's a huge advantage. Just get stoned with a girl sometime and do it, even if you don't have her consent.

>>36096922


as i would want to hang around a dirty degenerate stoner girl.

those girls are nigger fucking tier

>>36093434

i'm 18 and i've already lost all hope. i've lost all fear too, so i'll probably be suiciding by 2020. i do not have a future so i don't really care what happens to me anymore.

>>36096681

you're an idiot

i'm 18 and have been neet for 3 years. there's zero difference between me and a neet who dropped out in college rather than high school, if anything it's even worse for me.

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I feel like I'm floating through life, waking up and waiting for it to be tomorrow so I can do it again. I'm completely isolated from everyone but my parents and I mostly only get out of bed for food and the bathroom

>>36096012
it's a good feel. it makes you feel confident about your appearance. i had a girl glance at me several times yesterday at the bus, inbetween talking to her friend. she was only standing half a meter away, so now i know i must look good up close.

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>>36096999

I know that feel anon. It's like there was a part of you which was vital and alive, but it slowly passed into memory. We're not alive, we're something else.

It feels like there's something rotten in me where a person should be. I think other people can smell it. I should be happy. I have almost all the things on life being easymode checked off. But I'm defective. I was born wrong. I've had an almost funny amount of mental disorders, though I can usually force my way through the worst of it. I've never had a friend. I can't remember feeling happy, not even as a child. I try talking to people, I tried going to book clubs and the like. But I'm just wrong down to the marrow in my bones and good people can see it. I wish I knew what repelled them, so I could fix it or find some distant place where I'd not bother anyone.

>>36096999
Exactly the same here anon. Life just turned into an endless series of days where you just wait for day to end without looking forward for anything in the future. Makes me miss times when I was angry all the time. At least it was some form of emotion.

>>36094215
21 here but i was always a loser i remeber a time when i copied the name of one of my classmates in a test because even if i get an A+ nobody would care so i copied his name to get a bit of attention.
later i realized being alone was better and since i am sheltered in my home i quitted school at 16 i have been in my house 5 years.
It gets worse my family has an history of having alzheimer so most certain i will lose my mind.

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>>36096633
>>36096648
I've thought about all of this before and it makes me so fucking hopeless. Once you cross a certain line that society arbitrarily sets you're fucked for life.

It's so fucking hard to give a single shit about living when you your life will be nothing more than having to deal with this bullshit, fighting it only to lose anyway because of your absolute gutter tier genetics and upbringing.

>>36096986
>NEET for 3 years

except for the fact that the term 'NEET' was coined for those between the ages of 18 and 25. You fuck. If you're 15-18 and you don't have a job, you aren't a neet. You're just a dumbfuck lazy child. When it get's to the point where people have a legitimate right to look down on you for not being in permanent employment or education, then you are a neet.

If you are under 18 you literally cannot be a NEET.

>>36096999
feels weird when you are just there you don't want to die you simply want to dissapear.is not sadness because sadness feels different i will prefer feeling sad over that shit

>>36097777
with quads like that you can't be a loser anon

>>36097822
the terminology isn't what matters you fucking retard

it's the idea of literally making zero progress socially or academically for 3 fucking years. that shit sucks whether you're 18 or 25.

>>36097831
>>36097600
my nothingness is broken up by occasional deep sadness and anger, but I wish that didn't happen it's very embarrassing.

>>36097822
depends on the country mate kids start working at 16-18 here
im 21 and tried to get a work here in every interview people will look down on me they ask me always
what have you done since you left school at 16?
that's a five year gap sorry we're looking for someone with a bit of experience.

>>36095998
God speed, anon. I think that there is a lot of knowledge out there that you could learn from.

The worst thing about depression for me is how hard it makes connecting with others emotionally.

I've realised that basically all communication and relationships are built around emotion, not the actual topics of discussion. It's all subtext. And when your subtext is "I feel like shit and don't care about anything" then no one wants to be around you.

It hurts desu

>>36097848
making zero progress is forgivable yo an extent if you're 15-18 but if you're 21-25 it's not.

The former can be explained away if you're able but the latter indicates some major personality flaw that makes steady employment difficult.

>>36097910
Same here, I've only been able to get Jobs in the care sector and I still feel left behind. Been a lazy cunt for years and now I have to bullshit.

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>>36093434
I was deppressed my whole entire life.
Treated like human trash through out by every single person ive ever known maybe except for one or two people.
Even my own family.
It really fucked me up mentally and i came off as spychotic to a lot of people in my early adult life up in my late 20's.
I just stay inside now when im not working.
Its easier this way and, ive found out, im a lot happier.
Idk if any other oldfags can relate but once you stop looking for a real reason to live, and just do what you like doing every day.
Im still extremely deppressed but, when i can come home, watch some anime, play vidya, smoke a joint and talk to my friends on 4chan i become content and even happy.
I guess its just the simple things in life anons.
Im worse off than most robots ive met, but i think all it is is the little things you need to stay sane.

>>36096688
More drugs is my advice

>when i can come home, watch some anime, play vidya, smoke a joint and talk to friends on 4chan I become content and even happy
Aside from the joint iktf exactly. It feels like my life has gone to shit and the world is spiraling out of control but as long as I can get cozy at least on occasion I can feel alright albeit briefly.

>>36098719
Fuck forgot quote
>>36098334

yeah idk man there's just nothing to say about it that hasn't been said at this point, plus the whole board has been taken over by teenagers from reddit who are just here to mock us so there's no real point

i've had diagnosed MDD since age 8, it just gets worse every year, i've tried every class of antidepressants, over a dozen therapists, meditation, whatever flavor of the month self-help bs was recommended to me, etc etc, none of it did jack shit, most just made it worse. never had a friend or a job, dropped out of hs (couldn't get out of bed anymore) and have been a hikki neet for nearly 6 years now. some of us just aren't made for this world.

>>36093434
I feel like I don't fit into American society and lifestyle in any way. But I don't know where to go or what to do. I can't afford to drop $100 every time I need to go to the doctor to get antidepressants. I just feel stuck.

>>36098334
This.
I had one friend ever (later ghosted me).
Still think about sometimes.

>>36099046
Move to commie country.

>>36095388
I am the guy you replied to. I'd recommend them if you're in such dire straits that you literally can't leave the house without panic attacks like I did.

Bumpuroo desu

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>used to feel completely hopeless
>got blackout drunk a few weeks ago
>mood has been steadily improving since then

I don't understand

>>36093434
>20
>got kicked out of college
>very ugly
>very stupid
>very awkward
>hideous skin condition
>horrible voice
>no facial hair
>extremely skinny
>people actually wince and recoil when they look at me
>I cringe every time I see my reflection
>poor as fuck, also have student loans
>living with my brother, his pregnant girlfriend who is having a kid in a few weeks, and their roommate who is a stripper
>they have 2 dogs
>I'm allergic to dogs
>own like 2 pairs of jeans and 2 shirts
>working at a sub shop but I suck at basic shit like folding the sandwhich right
>they haven't fired me out of pity only
>0 friends
>no clue where I'm going in life, not even a fucking clue
I should kill myself, but I don't even feel like it.

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This pretty much sums it up for me

>>36099879
>>got kicked out of college
Why?

also, how tall are you? you didn't complain about height in your post, so I imagine you're at least tall

>>36093434
My dad left my mom and me when I was six and I got daddy issues since then. I was diagnosed with clinical depression and have to take pills so I dont end up killing myself. Does that count?

>>36093434
I posted that image enough to know what youre looking to talk about

But if thats the case what do you hope to gain itt?
If you really feel as you might do.
As I do.

>>36100049
are you a girl? sorry your post is very girly

i have clinical depression but my fucking brain fixes himself im still self conscious and i don't know why my brain thinks suicide is stupid.
i don't take meds i love feeling depressed i usually felt that hollow pain in my chest like sadness.
too bad i have been like this for so long that i don't feel it anymore depression became my natural state but can't kill myself because my brain fucks me over its like i can't be depressed or sad maybe its just ascended nihilism
yeah nothing matters so why kill yourself something like that. i don't even have huge desires just want to be depressed again

>>36096739
Start getting a consistent 8 hours of sleep, take cold showers, start taking nice walks, especially in areas where nature is present, eat well, talk to decent people who let you be genuine and really express yourself. Everything you said is what I've been through no less than 3 days ago and these things have helped me, I'm still not in a great place but I'm doing better. Just physically and mentally healing from all of the shit I did to my body and mind.

If you want to talk I can drop my contact info.

>>36093517
no one. that's why you're here.

unoregaleno

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>>36098101
>It's all subtext. And when your subtext is "I feel like shit and don't care about anything" then no one wants to be around you.
And you were not replied to.

I have assimilated this feel

>>36100024
My roommate stole from me and bullied me and I finally lost it and snapped. I had two friends who were both normal but felt bad for me, they jumped in to help. I'm glad because I would've lost the fight alone, but it also means there's no chance of me getting back in, since the school sees it as 3 people jumping one guy. At least I got to stomp him in the face a few times. Im 5'11

>>36100311
Idk, I felt that by standing up to him I was finally proving myself as a man. He'd been tormenting me for months, I was convinced that after I fought him I would stop being a loser, that people would start respecting me, that all my autism would magically be cured. Now I'm just a loser with no hope at a future. Oh well, I don't miss college at all.

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>>36093434
The way i see it, i have a high chance of succeeding in school as i have slightly about average intelligence. after that i have an ok shot at getting a job in the field i want to go into (programming/pen testing) as its a new and quickly growing field. Then it starts to go downhill, i more than likely will not make that much money because of
1). im shit at programming and despite my best efforts have never gotten any better
2). there are alot of people going for jobs in that field and due to the basic principal of supply and demand this will drive down wages.
next thing to worry about is social relationships, these have a very slim chance of ending up well for me as im a fat loser with crippling social anxiety. and to top things off i have a incredibly low chance of enjoying any of this, i haven't enjoyed anything i have done in over 2 years and nothing ive done has seemed to help this. It seems to me like i have to roll a 20 to end up in a life that is even remotely worth the effort i would have to put in to get there, my choices as of right now are
A). Roll the dice and hope for the best or
B). take a 9mm aspirin and never have to worry about anything ever again.

>Last year of uni
>Meet girl at start of year
>thinks were great
>due to us hurting each other arguements happened a few months ago
>recently she says that she needs to meet up woth her ex to talk about stuff
>says that she doesn't want to continue this because she is just gonna hurt me
>I asked why this was happening
>says its because I wasn't him, that she never stopped loving him
>I love her more than I have loved anyone

>>36100472
>pen testing
You gonna specialising in twisty tops or clicky?

>>36100260
So true, do things that you know are good for your wellbeing and you'll at least start feeling a little bit better.

>>36100520
short for penetration testing

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penetration_test

>>36095922
Then sign up for organ donations. Donate a kidney, plasma, and blood. Some people die waiting for those, and if you're unhappy knowing that you did good will make you feel better.

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I fell in love with a cumdumpster of a woman years ago and we had a relationship for a week (no sex, no kisses, no hugs) and then she broke it off just like that. That was the last time I was happy, back in 2011. I was a NEET at the time, and still was until late 2016. I've got a career, I've gotten /fit/ and I've met lots of women. I can't stand them, I hate them all. I hate the cumdumpster I fell in love with, I have no feelings towards her now but absolute hatred. Like she stole all my feelings away and ran off, now I'm dead inside.

>just get /fit/ brah
>just get a career brah
>just talk to girls brah

What's the point, I'm still a virgin and I don't desire sex. My days are going by so fast and it's so utterly meaningless. Being alive is truly pointless but I'm too much of a coward to finish it off.

>>36100754
-How old are you?
-whats your career?
-what about flying to tijuana/thailand/etc and fucking prostitutes for the cheap?

I feel like this is where im headed minus the khv. I've been wandering in the desert job-wise because I got a useless degree and got zero internships or work experience in college.

>>36100863
26, cyber surety and my sex drive is dead. Last time I jerked off was in 2011 to the girl who said she loved me when I was living with my parents imagining our life together, there's been many women since that have told me they loved me and I'll say it back but I don't love them. It's just words, I hoped that after saying it enough I'd truly believe it but I can't.

>>36100912
yea im dead inside too and about to turn 26. it'd be nice to be dead inside and have money as well. how'd you get into cyber surety? I'm mulling going to a programming bootcamp but I'll have the cash to do it in the next several months

>>36093434
>pectus excavatum
>wide hips
>5'8''
>barely 5 inch dick with ugly but not THAT ugly circum scar
>chinlet
>frog eyes
>pale as fuck
>small hands and feet
>been NEET for almost a year
>don't know any math
>did shit in everything in highschool because depressed all the time, i could notice than living as an ugly person just isnt the same, smoked tons of weed to cope with all this shit
>not really talented (i can play guitar and write short stories but i know it is not going anywhere)
>went mental last year, depression was really taking a shit on my sanity
>get diagnosed bipolar
since I got on lamotrigine I feel pretty "ok" but I still have no motivation at all. I just don't "want" anything, no goals, no anything, it seems all worthless to me, life just inst good, at least mine, my brain just isnt in tune with happiness and meaning. I'm pretty much a shell of what I used, or could have been
orego

>>36100947
You join the airforce and score decent (70ish) in general on the ASVAB which is easy if you're good with computers, then hope you get cyber surety. It's in high demand right now alongside a few other cyber jobs, it's fairly comfortable. Basic/advanced training was easy, and the job is simple. I work from 9-5 and I get Sat/Sun off, and get plenty of paid vacation days. People say the airforce is the weakest branch, and they're right. I couldn't do a pushup or jog for 20 seconds, yet I have a near perfect score on my PT scores now.

>>36101047
godammit i knew you were gonna say AF. Got permanently DQ'd for medical reasons. fuck my life

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>>36100863
>>36100912
>>36100947
>tfw 26 and just got fired from my job not even an hour ago

What the fuck is even life I don't understand what it's about

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What's wrong with you guys just go download tinder and atleast have a meaningless convo with a girl to make you feel better


https://my.mixtape.moe/diymnk.MP4
https://my.mixtape.moe/lmvwmf.MP4

I went out with my mother and step father to a hibachi grill today. I took one bite of a roll and stared out of the window until they decided it was time to leave. The waitress asked three times if everything was okay and I could see her become uncomfortable near us. I just want this movie to end but they insist on keeping me going. I am probably going to use them to get a car then crash it into a wall. Waste of money but they know I want nothing to do with life.

Mother also offered me some stew a few minutes ago, nearly shouted her out because she wanted me to eat it despite me saying no.

>>36100212
Not a girl. Sowy. But I don't even knoww mane. Its so hard to go on. I just hope everything gets better eventually. Not that I'm already working on that.

>>36101047
I probably could have done this and had the cushy robot life. Fuck me but they'd probably DQ me for medical now. >>36101075

Everyday just feels like i'm one day closer to suicide

>>36101097
Its not about anything. There is no meaning. Just embrace this and enjoy base pleasures. There's nothing more than that here.

>>36101109
I tried that, I only got matched with bots. It just helped sink me further into the mindset that no one even wants to humor me that isn't just going to use me.

I just wanted a wife and kids, now I just want death.

>>36101155
yea, hedonism is the easiest existential scaffolding to use to climb out of the hole you psychologically dig for yourself when you acutely apprehend the meaninglessness of the world.

>>36100973
>pectus excavatum
How bad is it, anon?

I have a pretty moderate of pectus.

Currently working a shit job having dropped out of Uni. Dropped out of college as well 2 years ago now no degree and I'm in debt. Planning on taking out a loan going to a shit country and living on it for about a week and then suiciding

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>parents are crazy
>beaten until I was 16
>they hit me with a 2x4 and perm scarred
>they hit me with their car once for fun
>raped as an infant (2 or 3)
>raped when I was in 3rd grade
>parents went to jail
>ran away from the places the goverment put me
>dropped out of highschool
>have PTSD
>scream in my sleep 3-4 times a week
>never knew why until last month since I never remembered the nightmare
>remembered the dream for the first time last month
>asked my parents and they told the truth
>I've been a NEET for 6 years now

I've tried so hard to improve my life, but you know some people are just broken. I'm too scared to go to a therapist, I spent 9 hours the other day pacing around my home phone scared to call. I haven't had a friend to talk to in 2008. I undoubtedly have multiple mental issues but since they're not diagnosed I like to pretend I'm a normal person sometimes. I keep thinking that someday everything will work out, that something amazing will happen and fix my life... but you know anons I'm starting to think it won't happen.

>>36101372
The nightmare was actually a memory of me being raped as a child, I forgot to mention this. I've had the same reoccurring dream since it happened but couldn't remember it when I woke up, I scream "No! No! STOP" every night or the other but never knew why till recently. The brain is crazy hiding things like that from me for what, 16-17 years? I even joked about PTSD being a fucking meme online before, well I guess if it's not diagnosed I don't really have it and I'm just a tumblrina making up mental illnesses. I like to think that at least.

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>>36101146
Are you willing to lie? If you tell the recruiter there's nothing wrong with you, and then the doctor at MEPS then you'll get through. I have asthma and autism, both of which are perm DQ material I believe. They'll only know if you tell them.

>>36101681
I have obvious self harm scars. It was stupid as fuck permanently marking myself as an undesirable I know. But maybe using makeup over it would work?

>>36101772
>self harm scars
No that's not what they are, your cousin attacked you when you an infant leaving very serious lasting scars on your body. That's what I told them anyways, the only thing that'll DQ you is you going in there and telling them you hurt yourself or have medical issues. You don't and you were hurt by someone else, they won't check so it doesn't matter.

>be me
>bullied my entire life
>dad really never accepted me for being a manly man
>always on my own, mum and dad had each other, my 2 sisters were essentially best friends who bullied me
>2 sisters in school would always get straights As, teachers would always look down on me in complete disappointment
>do my own thing, always never really given a shit bc i chose you can't please everyone
>turn to stoicism, saves my life
>on anti-depressants for a year after I completely lose it in front of my parents, like an actual dream
>stoicism, mixed with self achievement through doing what I am passionate in, mixed with LSD
>learn to break barriers in mind
>learn about yourself, realise you have nothing to gain, and nothing to lose, you are no one, take pride in that
>let go of everything, you have no reason to prove yourself
>do what you love
>there is always a way, I am now working for an amazing company, out of depression
>it is a constant fight
>but you win, you will always win in the fight against depression

>whatever fight you are fighting, you already have the tools to face it, trust in yourself and be gentle

>there are people who care about you, I care about you.

>learn about yourself, you will find you are more amazing than you will ever know

>love, anon

>>36093434
In 2 days the girl who I was about to ask out has gotten back with her old bf and gone to prison. I had finally worked up the courage to then I find that out the day before I was gonna do it.


It's not the worst thing to happen but it still stings.

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>>36093434
>graduated at 17 top 5% of my high school class
>no friends, parents divorced and hated me and probably autistic but never let it bother me
>had dreams and plans
>got a full ride to university
>failed out hard, lost scholarship
>parents paid to send me back for a meme degree
>made me get a wagecuck job in the meantime
>now 22 khhv still stuck in uni working on a pointless degree so that I can go and wagecuck until a computer replaces me in a few years
>only going on because as long as I stay enrolled my parents will keep giving me money
>probably just going to kill myself in a few years since life is pointless to begin with and I'm consigned to miserably scraping by by myself for the rest of it

>>36101989
you should just kys. this is way too much opportunity squandered over "muh feelings." You were handed two golden opportunities on a silver platter and fucked/are fucking them up. stop being a faggot.

t. kid who's dad hung him out to dry on 40k in loans that he promised he would cover.

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Dissociation is a mirage. I am here but I am not. I exist but I do not.

>>36101833
Thanks a lot, glad to know it worked for you. Think I'll give it a shot :)

>>36093483
kinda all been done and said before i guess

>>36102092
>You were handed two golden opportunities on a silver platter
I was handed one that I worked for so it wasn't handed to me freely and squandered it because I'm an actual retard who couldn't pass classes even with tutoring and going to extra sessions, at this point my uni councilor has told me it's highly likely I have some sort of learning disability and should go get checked but it's too late for that to matter. As for going back I had no say in my new major my parents decided, it's political science which is completely useless at most I may be able to scrape up a teaching job.

>>36102213
yea i majored in political science. its completely useless outside of academia. your parents are fucking retards. but fuck it, if they're paying for it. why not. I thought my loans were covered but my dad is a fucking beta faggot pussy ass bitch and didn't have the balls to sit me down and tell me his financial situation wouldnt allow him to do it. so he robbed me of the agency to make a choice for myself.

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Going to that therapist didnt really helped.
hm...

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I'm 18, 5'10", 210 lbs, 6/10 and a kissless virgin. I feel pretty hopeless a lot of the time. All I've ever wanted in life is a wife and children. I wanted to get married young but I'm already letting this dream pass me by. I feel depressed about not having had sex when everyone else has. I feel like having sex as a teenager is a milestone I've missed. It seems so much more meaningful.

I don't want to end up like some of the other people here. I'm genuinely scared. What do I do to avoid loneliness?

>>36102252
>if they're paying for it
Technically one of my mothers new husbands are paying for it but yeah as long as they're supporting me I'll stay with it, fuck having to go full time minimum wage

>>36095887
Yea man if it were not for my wagecuck job that made it possible for me to have my own meager shit I'd probably just be homeless and go OD on all to easy to find hard drugs. My job is seasonal so I've been off the past two months and I have to go back to work soon cause I'm broke. Its tempting to go your route anon

>>36095942
Idk man, i have met plenty a chad who went to school and all that and still ended up a wagecuck. You really gotta work hard to not be wagecuck, I also know people who are on salary that dont make shit

>>36095993
It may be time for you to leave this board, but only time and kek will tell

>>36095998
You can get rid of your virginity if you work at it or go the hooker route.

>>36096510
I'm trying to quit anon, but I dont se much of a point really

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>>36093434
I'm not genuinely hopeless, but my problem is broad and confusing, and it has a good chance of consuming my entire adolescence even if I do everything right.

To put it briefly, I don't enjoy things anymore. Everything I liked to do in life slowly dried up, and by January of this year I had nothing left but food and masturbation. This list of things includes the obvious like video games and music, but also abstract feelings like being "comfy" and existential loneliness, as well as the pleasure of conversation. Even lying down after a hard day of work or lying down in a hot shower doesn't feel good. I used to feel alive when I listened to music, but now there's nothing. Once enjoyment is out of the equation, much of your personality fades with it. I no longer have firmly-held beliefs or any passions. I can't relate to people or understand how they still care about life. In most respects, I'm not really living right now - I'm just a phantom, passing time reading threads I don't care about to make the day end faster.

I do have options. I started a new job, and I'm going to use the money from it to start exercising, eat better, and eventually go on a meditation retreat to see if that helps. If things do improve, it'll be a few years, and I'll likely be out of college by then. So I don't know, guys. Guess it's just fate, or bad luck.

>>36096715
>5 closest freinds
you got a lot of friends anon

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I want to be happy. I don't want to be this way. But I've never been happy and I see no future in which I'm happy. It would be nice to go back in time when knowing myself would have help. But I think it was always too late for me.

>>36093434
>25?
>Been shut in since 16
>Never got a job
>Never finished high school
>23
>Went to college in hopes of making something out of my life
>Big mistake
>Failed miserably on everything that wasn't math and Chem
>student loans dropped me
>20k in debt with no way to repay, no way to keep funding school
>Owe school money and can't go back anyway
>Can't afford rent anymore
>Every minimum wage job has hundreds of people applying for it
>Literally no job will even consider me
>Student loans start making deductions from my bank account
>Hundreds of dollars in overdraft fees
>Can't afford bills and rent
>25ish, horribly in debt, zero friends, no family, unemployable.

Just end me, please. I want to get off the ride.

>>36096750
go die fag

>>36094670
Underrated post desu origipost

>>36093434
>40+
>virgin
>unemployed
>live with parents
>failure

>>36098334
good advice, weed and vidya keeps me going as well

>>36100272
Not much to say, depression acting like a social repeller is just a harsh irrefutable truth.

>>36093434
>be me
>20 something Slav guy
>constantly bitter
>very dark sense of humor, wasn't much of a problem in HS but now people seem to not really understand life without a stick in their ass
>think social media is absolutely retarded
>think my face is all kinds of fucked and that it's not actually me
>haven't had a meaningful friendship since 8th grade, everything else was just a bunch of glorified acquaintances
>when I'm not working HVAC I'm just sitting in my home doing whatever
>cut any and all contact with family as soon as I moved out, fuck them. Except for my former cat.
>on the rare chance I go to a bar I just get a straight Sobieski for a bit then leave. The fuck is this talking in bar shit.
>childhood + exposure to 4chan memes pretty much fucked any potential relationship I could have had. Whatever romance is for faggots.
>lots of intrusive thoughts, sometimes I even hear and see shit. This one time I saw a fucking little girl with bloody gauze wrapped on her face and a yellow polka dot dress near my bed. Feltbadman.
>just want to own my own land in Alaska and live there.
>probably going to commit sudoku one day but who knows
>also occasionally kill and dissect mice
>fire also sometimes gives me a boner

Seriously though I'm pretty certain childhood/growing up fucked me up somehow. But I'm no whiner, that's for nu males.