why don't you just try being yourself annon.

I'm literally the most annoying person you will ever meet, I've been I act like an actual 3 year old most of the time. People pretend not to see me when they walk past me.

How many shitty threads are you going to make this morning?

But I'm an autistic pedophile

>>36061857
Because Im a short, fat fuck with mental issues.

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Because I'm probably autistic or something.

I don't understand other people, they sure as hell don't understand me.

I've never felt a connection of any sort with another person, they just confuse me, and the feeling is obviously mutual.

Every time I try to even just make friends with somebody, it just ends up being a reminder that I don't fit in with other people, I am incompatible with them and their lifestyles, and I'll never be able to feel like I belong with them.

All I want is to just feel like a normal person for once.
I'm just not compatible with them, there's something inherently wrong with me that can never be fixed.
I'm never going to feel like I belong in this society.
I just want to fucking die.

>>36062406
Same here buddy. I've basically given up on it all now. I could kind of fake it but it didn't feel real and people eventually caught in. Someone once said I didn't have a soul, that hurt. Another said it was like I wasn't a real person. I'm just a waste of other peoples time. I'm just focusing on things I enjoy now, and I just repress any thoughts that I could be happy if I tried again. They're just empty delusions.

>>36062983
>I'm just focusing on things I enjoy now
What sort of things do you do?

I tried this for a while, but now I can't remember the last time I enjoyed anything.
Everything I used to enjoy feels like a chore, and I never have any motivation to try anything new, and when I do it just feels forced.

There's definitely nothing I enjoy enough that it gives me a reason to live.

>>36063305
I mean it doesn't make my life great, I'm not happy. Constantly battle with thoughts of suicide and have drastic mood swings. For me what helps the most is reading books about things, learning about a subject and then improving at it. Most recently I've been playing poker and been trying to learn about the strategy and I'm slowly improving. I'm also trying to learn to program. I used to enjoy games but now I can't enjoy escapism really.

Since the act if trying to understand other people only results in pain, I find learning about a subject nice since my mind can actually comprehend it and it feels like I'm actually making progress in life. There's nothing worse than staying the same person, change is good. I think as we grow up we learn to rely on things like films and games to help relax, but at a certain point in life this stops working and they just become hindrances to progress.

You ever been the doctor about depression? I should probably go about it as well.

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>>36061857
This kinda makes sense when most shy and reserved people that end up robots never reveal their true self to anyone because of the mental blocks and walls they build around them out of anxiety, trying to not rock anyone's boat and to stay neutrally invisible in public.

When you seem open and don't really care if people judge you, you give the other person the options to decide if they like you or if they don't. When you shelter yourself nobody really likes you or really dislikes you. No matter how polite and seemingly nice you are, you hover around them pretty much irrelevant to their lives like a ghost that someone might get socially a glimpse of, and then fade into the background as something more material catches their eye.

It's like when a depressed person's brain's activity slows down and less stimuli get processed, the people affected by it can't really get happy or sad from outside stimulus,
In relationships if you give the other person a restricted picture of yourself, only a shallow part of the spectrum or the kind of a person you are or restrict everything you say in the spirit of not making waves in positive or negative direction you depress the nature of the relationship to a state of "meh". Just like the restricted activity does to your mind.

Of course this has nothing to do with the outright diagnosed autism spergs going off the handle in inappropriate situations and act bizarre, already not giving a fuck.