Who else getting LAID tonight?

>>36056679
Go get em' you beautiful bastard. GF stopped putting out except on special occasions so I'm no better of than the standard tfw no gf poster now

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Not even getting laid into an unmarked grave.

>>36056679
Where is her missing nipple?

>spend day with new gf
>cuddle on couch, kiss a little, watch basketball
>this is usually where it turns into sex but she wants to wait until marriage
>I just want to fuck her adorable face/butt

>>36056679
Sup with dem nips/ areola

>>36056856
>gf stopped putting out
She would put out for Chad. Just a reminder

>>36056679
>calling girls "beautiful"

fag

>>36056905
>>36057246

looks like a bruise, the nipple should be under her hand

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>>36056679
>it all ends the same way beautiful

not bad op, a little chunky and has saggy boobs she needs to hold together but still fuckable

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>>36056679
>implying anyone on /r9k/ has a gf/can get laid
fucking normie get out NOW
the only thing im getting laid in is a casket

Sex doesn't count if she has an unhealthy bmi.

>>36057387
>people on here unable to get laid
if literal retards can get laid so can you and it's not a bee yourself kind of thing it's a stop being so fucking picky kind of thing

That bruise is disgusting, do you punch her tits?

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>>36057491
Just bee yourself and get laid

>>36057491
Id fuck a corpse if it let me, trust me ive tried.

>>36057491
If you actually think getting laid is that easy you need to lurk moar. I'm sentencing you to 2 years of lurking, to begin immediately.

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hell yeah buddyy

>>36057676
It's easy if you a) leave your house, b) yourself and c) not be picky. I'm ugly and short, yet women have approached me. You have excuses, you just find enjoyment in complaining about your perceived misery.

>>36057560
AHhaha

>>36057785
I've done all three of those things, still a virgin
It's almost like normie advice consists of useless banal platitudes that do nothing irl

>>36057724
>can literally see flakes of shit on her asshole

Gross

>>36057810
Do you do them every day? No? Then you've given up. Persistence is key.

>>36057724
oh my gentle jesus...

>>36056679
>tfw talking with girl on the phone everyday, sometimes for hours
>hitting it off
>go on first date, thought it went well
>she stops sending messages and barely responds to anything I send

Is there any worse feel? Gay is the future IMO

>>36057724
she has dry shit in her butthole.

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>>36057724
WTF CANNOT UNSEE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>36057849
Yes, every day. What now, normalfag?

>>36057821
>flakes of shit

>>36057874
> dry shit

at least one of those crumbs is a rolly poly...

>>36057724
Am I the only one not disgusted by this? I thought you guys were robots.

>>36057899
im not really disgusted either, no.

>>36057724
lol I remember seeing this picture in every other thread on /b/
hell ye dood ye ye

>>36057892
You're a liar. If you're not outside the majority of the day, you may never get laid. It's a numbers game: the more women you encounter, the more likely one is to display interest. You should be outside right now, day or night.

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l feel like a lot of robots are kinda fucking clingy a lot of the time, we get it, you're lonely. Everybody is. Wait a day or two to respond to them if they message you first. Tell her you don't like using your phone, that if she wants to talk to you to come over and do it like you're a goddamn human being.

If she can't take some time to actually see you and talk to you then what is even the fucking point? even though your time is worthless make her think its not. She's just a fucking person, not some cosmic being that can bring you eternal joy you fuuuuuuccccccking virrrrgins

>>36058036
>My advice cannot possibly be flawed in any way
Or maybe it's just difficult to impossible for some people (ie me) to get laid. >>36058036

>>36056679
wtf is up with that nipple that's unironically spooky

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>>36058036
>My advice cannot possibly be flawed in any way
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

why would anyone want to fuck me when there are chads fucking everywhere

>>36058070
>>36058296
Just to be clear these are two different anons but >>36058296 repeated exactly what I said for some reason

>>36057724

>hairy
>shit-crust
>dingle-berries
>stained panties

You enjoy that boy, you've earned it.

>>36058233

It's not her nipple, tard. It's a bruise.

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I get laid every night, but i don't feel the need to boast about it on a board with with virgins because I'm not a colossal faggot that gets it once in a blue moon.

>>36059196

>I get laid every night

What the fuck are you doing on this board then?

>>36059219
Getting to fuck a bitch doesn't make you a chad, a normie, or anything else you've fabricated up in your little head.

>>36059196
>i don't feel the need to boast about it but look at me how I'm not boasting about it by boasting about it

They were right about frogposters being mentally ill. Kill yourself.

>>36056679
>Changed name to imply to strangers on a Swedish Fish Canning forum that you have a lot of side chicks in hope of inflating your own digital ego.

You might as well change your brothers contact name to "Mommy" and have him call you after you poured sugar on your screen and scraping it into lines with a credit card and then take a picture of it and post it on here.

Dont forget to also change your friends contact name to "boss" and text him telling him you fucked his wife and that you're quitting your job.

Something something sext ""sister""

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>5'5 turbo midget
>got laid last night

It's not fair

>>36057616
what went wrong? thats the easiest thing to fuck

>>36057899
it gave me a boner man. but if this was irl i can only think about how bad her asshole smells

>>36059237

It might not make you a chad, but it definitely makes you a fucking normie. What makes you think you belong here with the rest of us degenerates?

>>36059878
funny how you sperg out at the person that didn't create the thread

retardo

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>>36059908
anon, pleas no bully

>>36059908

Not really sperging out. I just want to know what makes you so fucked up to think that you belong here with the permavirgin neckbeards.

>>36058055
Don't fucking talk down to us ever again, normalshit, this is our board