Psychological Issues #23

I am constantly confused. What is this called?

>>36040693

405? Really?

It depends on how you are confused. Can you describe your confusion?

Does it happen at specific moment?

What does it prevent you from doing normally?

>>36040702
I'm ALWAYS dazed or like "out in space".
Sometimes it's worse than others, but normally its like I'm always daydreaming. People will talk to me and I'll just stare at them, not even registering that they've said anything.

>>36040754

Check out dissociation (in the form of derealisation or depersonalisation) and see if that matches what you experience or not.

Do you feel like there's some sort of separation between you and the world?

I constantly swing between feeling perfectly fine and as if I'm about to tear apart at the seams.
I've seen a counsellor once for depression and they just said I needed to stop being stressed about everything.
I don't do anything until last minute and am acutely aware that I'm wasting my life. I'm bitterly jealous of others and have incredible problems with romantic intimacy with women, I naturally lash out in anger or spite without meaning to.
My father was an abusive alcoholic before I was born but I never saw that side to him, now he's a deadbeat piece of trash who lived one hell of a life.
My mother is a paranoid manic depressive who hoards and put as little effort into mothering me as possible.
My sister has deep seated issues with alcohol, violence and shouting because of my parents when she was young.
Do what you will with all that I guess. Just needed to vent.

>>36040787
Nah I'm just always daydreaming

>>36040814
>I've seen a counsellor once for depression and they just said I needed to stop being stressed about everything.

Oh wow, holy fucking shit. Sorry, that really ticked me the fuck off. Holy fucking hell. I'm still reeling from it, sorry, I just can't believe anyone working in the mental health department would ever say such a dumb thing. Goddamn.

>just chillax, bro, OK?

Dump that counsellor and never go back.

I'd advise you to look up the Borderline link in the resources, just to see if that speaks to you.

I think we can do a bit of work together if you stick with me.

>>36040858

Are there any tasks on which you can focus?

>>36040814
That sucks
o.o

>>36040955
Yeah I just always am thinking about something else
Probably has to do with my lack of sleep

>>36040947
Yeah I found it pretty useless
Yeah that BPD stuff actually describes me pretty well
I thought I was bipolar for a while because I'll experience periods of such incredible mania that I never want to disappear then I'll go back to feeling empty
I'll stick with you, nice to have someone to vent to

>>36040965
Tell me about it

>>36041029
>Probably has to do with my lack of sleep

If you don't sleep around 8 hours a night, you can't function properly.

Why so little sleep?

>>36041059
Anxiety keeps me up
I get 3-5 hours a night, plus nap ;)

>>36041050

Bipolar only affects mood and this lasts for weeks and months straight. What you described is way more volatile and chaotic.

Don't label yourself with BPD, but keep it in mind as a working diagnosis, to think of it as a thing in itself, instead of just "you".

With parents like yours, you were bound to develop something like BPD, which is originally a defense mechanism against a hostile environment. Now you're older, but your brain has kept those defenses.

Are there any reasons why you feel better or worse on a given day?

>>36041080

All right, then yeah, the daze thing is from lack of sleep, and we must remedy that first and foremost.

You say anxiety keeps you up. Specific worry?

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I was recently diagnosed with bipolar 2 after two antidepressants made me hypomanic. I've been in the worst depressive slump in a while. I miss being hypomanic all the time. I acted like the same spastic autist that I was at home or with my closest friends, but all the time anywhere. I had so much confidence in school and in public suddenly, but it also made me apathetic, gave me occasional episodes of fullblown mania, made me compulsive and stupid, and killed my GPA. And the side effects, I felt tired all the time and had so much acne out of nowhere. Worst of all, I felt... depersonalized. Like I wasn't alive while all of that was happening, I was just watching a movie of this spastic.

Fell into such a bad depression I stopped going to school and went to a partial program. Tried the second med, same thing happened. Got off meds, went back to school after 4 months and I want to kill myself every fucking day. Nobody knows what happened to me, just that the spastic is now an awkward, depressed nobody who doesn't talk. My anxiety is through the roof, I can't talk to people without stuttering. Now they want to put me on a mood stabilizer but I'm fucking tired of this shit. I understand mood stabilizers are different but I want to get over this myself without compromising with those fucking side effects. I don't want to spend years of my life testing meds and hoping that one of them doesn't make me kill myself. I've been trying exercise, vipassana meditation, CBT, nofap, a better prayer life, supplements, and i still feel so shitty all the fucking time.

/rant, I feel a bit better now after venting since I don't have a therapist atm cuz my last one retired

>>36041103
Nah, everytime I lie down my heartrate spikes and shit
I guess I'm anxious about sleeping(?)

>>36041107
Try LSD or coke

>>36041090
I find it hard to think of me as me. I don't really get who I am, but then when I say shit like that it just sounds pretentious, retarded and paradoxical
I feel like all thats holding me together is a bunch of labels like BPD

Usually it'll be something tiny and it'll set off the rest of my day in that direction. I'll start the day on a manic high if I see like 2 magpies or if I find money down the back of the sofa
But I'll start the day off feeling empty if the weather is trash or I feel slightly ill. Then over the day any tiny good or bad thing completely changes how the day is going.

It's annoying that it's come to this, but I'll trip in these threads from now on.

>>36041143
I have a friend willing to give me some for free, 100ug, but ice heard some get psychosis or hear voices, especially those who are already mentally fucked like me to begin with

>>36041177
That's a terrible psychological dysfunction
I'm horribly sorry facet

>>36040635
Are you a clinical psychologist. What qualifications do you have.

>>36041107

OK, this is some very heavy shit in there.

Describe your parents.

>>36041117
>I guess I'm anxious about sleeping(?)

This could be. Any memories of something happening in your bed? Or after you went to bed?

>>36041199
That's what the cocaine is for

>>36041208
Tripfagging: a fate worse than death

>>36041225
Nope.
Stop psychoanalyzing me, I'm just autism mode

>>36041156
>I don't really get who I am, but then when I say shit like that it just sounds pretentious,

Not to me. It's a very clear and usual symptom. It's not some artsy fancy way of saying you're deep and interesting: it's really, literally, what you feel, and you're correct.

What you mentioned is in line with BPD and clearly not with bipolar. Forget bipolar, it's not your thing. BPD, however, that looks like it's on the money.

You may have any combination of traits at any intensity. Many ways to have BPD.

>>36041215
They're really understanding and have been good to me. Sometimes I think they were too overprotective and that's why I'm so anxious cuz I'm so afraid of criticism.

>>36041177

Dubs for a good idea.

Can you go back on yesterday and explained what happened?

>>36040635
Used to suffer from suicidal depression, but was too much of a bitch to pull the trigger when I attempted it. So I simply suffered it. Then I met a girl who made the worst of it go away, so I slowly became obsessed and eventually got tangled up with her. Those were the best times, I had a future with a purpose. Then we of course broke up, I repressed hard because she turned into a cheating bitch. Anyways, that was November. Now everything feels different. Not suicidal, because what's the point? I'd just bitch out again. Months away from finishing uni, but ehat is the point? Spent 5 years not learning anything to get this useless peace of paper that says I'm qualified for something I can't remember. Apathetic is the best way to describe it I guess. I feel normal-ish around people, but the moment noone expects something from me I fully shut down. Sorry if this seems rambly, typing at work on my phone.

>>36041269
In essence, I fell into despair and got very drunk because there's neither work nor therapy for me for a couple of weeks. Add to that, I finished a game I've sunk 600 hours into. So those things I use to anchor myself were taken and I lost it.

>>36041199

Personal opinion: if you have mental issues, don't play with drugs that will mess with your mind. I don't advise doing that.

>>36041255
It just sounds so teenage girly and faggoty, I hate attention whores and would hate myself for being one
I feel like I switch out personalities on the daily and try to make life changing decisions all the time

>>36041208
>>36041241

I've been doing it for 23 threads. You'll survive.

>>36041227
Isn't that shit addictive? I'm already addicted to porn, I don't know if I can control myself to a point where I don't need it

>>36041292
wow so much feels; so relatable

also >phoneposting

>>36041211
>Are you a clinical psychologist. What qualifications do you have.

I've been trained in the best school. For decades.

As to degrees and such, my degrees are in other fields, for now. I don't present myself as anything officially, you may judge me on what I deliver.

>>36041317
Idk I'm always on meth so I don't remember if it's addictive

>>36041308
Yeah I thought the same, don't want to add another variable that can mess me up. Btw thanks for this thread I feel a bit better already

>>36041247
>Stop psychoanalyzing me, I'm just autism mode

I don't do psychoanalysis.

When did your insomnia begin?

>>36041264

Probably not. Do you feel like your parents know who you really are?

>>36041351
In like 5th grade lol

>>36041292
>was too much of a bitch to pull the trigger when I attempted it.

I'll translate: you had the courage to continue despite the pain.

>So I simply suffered it.

Nothing simple about that.

It seems you never learned to have clear goals for yourself (I'm in the same situation as you).

Any other symptoms you may have?

>>36041305
>and got very drunk

How do you differentiate between the other alters and just being drunk?

What's the game?

>>36041323
Phoneposting because too lazy to go around blocks at work. Usually lurk, felt compelled to post for some reason.

>>36041315
>It just sounds so teenage girly and faggoty,

Such is life, but it's neither girly nor faggoty.

>>36041347

I'm glad to hear that!


orirgirngirnignrignriginrignrialalala

>>36041375

That's a damn long time ago. Did you spend a night at the sleep clinic?

>>36041402
Drinking lowers my inhibitions and exacerbates my splitting, meaning it's one fairly reliable way to provoke that reaction.

The game is Dark Souls 2. What took the time was the no-death run. The last thing I had to do was getting all the spells, necessitating playing it through three times with the same character.

>>36041422
So what's the solution? How do I improve?
I just got into a relationship as well so I'm feeling pretty fucking unstable

>>36041442
Wait wtf is a sleep clinic??
You mean there are places where I can go sleep around strangers???
No thanks. I'm already paranoid about sleeping at home, I don't need that stress

>>36041446
>What took the time was the no-death run.

One of my brothers played one of these games, I think, which was an awful idea because he got so assmad when he died.

If you can't handle the tension, play something else (not saying that to you).

My computer died in November and I still didn't acquire a gaming computer.

>>36041389
besides usual robot things (few/no friends, no self-esteem, social anxiety) I am untested(officially) mild aspergers. Family friend suggested my best chhance at normal was to not acknowledge it and send me thru regular school. Don't sleep. Lay awake most of the night, watching clock turn. Not worrying or anything like that, just don't sleep. I average 2-5hrs a night.

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>>36041470

I'd advise you to read loads about BPD; prepare to read about very different cases from yours. There's a huge variety in BPD, unlike other disorders. Of the 9 symptoms, some may only have one, and the intensity varies, a lot.

The best would be to seek professional help and tell them what you think you have and why, and work from there.

DBT is the usual therapy for that, you can buy the book and work on it on your own too, by Linehan.

Also pic related.

>>36041362
They try to, like I talk about all my problems with them, but they say shit like "you just need to not be so hard on yourself" or "just don't care about what people think", and they mean well, but HOW!? How do I do this!? So you're right, I guess they don't completely

>>36041512
But anon, aspergers/autism IS normal for robots

>>36041471

You sleep one night with electrodes to your head and they monitor you as you sleep. That can help figure things out.

If you are convinced it has nothing to do with psychology, and is exclusively a brain problem, that's what you do.

I tend to think it's not purely mechanical.

>>36041508
It's actually pretty fun to get assmad most of the time. Doing a no-death definitely helps to improve patience. Having upwards of ten hours come to nought because of a single careless mistake definitely requires a certain attitude. It's not for everyone. In the end, the character I succeeded with was Shekelstein, a /pol/-tier Jewish caricature. Dark magic, greatshield and spear. Those crafty merchants always win in the end.

>>36041512

What makes you think you have the Assburgers?

>>36041538

Any other things where they don't exactly succeed?

>>36041558
>Those crafty Jews always win in the end.
Good job

>>36041558

You're a devoted player, I see.

What else do you play?

>>36041564
>>36041576
You can save time and thread space by combining your posts.
Please, you're raping my OCD

>>36040635
I have no psychological issues and feel quite healthy.

>>36041603
>you're raping my OCD

It needs its meat beat. (Check that poetry out.)

My rule is this: one post per person. Sometimes one post per idea discussed. I don't care to cram as much text in a post as possible. We never ran out of space in those threads, we can always open another if that happens, and there's no reason to limit legibility.

I shall, therefore, continue to rape your OCD.

>>36041564
doctor who was family friend tested me to find out what the hell was wrong with me when I was young because apparently I didn't talk until I was 4-5 years old and worried my parents.

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>>36041614

Are you so sure?

If so, Why are you here?

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when im stressful my skin burns sometimes. It takes a few minutes to go away it hasn't happened for a while but when it does it's really bad and hard to act normal.

>>36041590
Mainly Dark Souls, finished Resident Evil a while ago, Yakuza Zero and sporadically replaying Tenchu 3 on PS2. I always play for trophies, where applicable. According to PSN I'm in the top one percent in terms of those; a fairly futile accomplishment but it's nice to have something to show for it however pointless that might be.

>>36041625

A doctor? A psychiatrist?

That's one symptom. Is that all?

Did you grow up in a multilingual family?

>>36041614
Cool, thanks for sharing!

orrign

>>36041632
>when im stressful my skin burns sometimes.

Did you get that check with a doctor? Does it burn all over?

When did this begin?

>>36041576
My mom has serious anger and pride problems, never willing to own up to a mistake and always needs the last word

Hey Nick, these threads are just rolling by so quickly, guess time zones are really fuckery.

Hope you're doing good man, you talking to someone?

>>36041635

Playing for trophees, interesting.

It gives you a sense of having a mission and succeeding, I can understand that. Extends the lifespan of many games, too. Only thing I dislike about it is when people do it to one-up others.

Which alter was it that talked to me like a cunt last night?

>>36041659

Check the link on narc parents. It may not be obvious at first; if not, check covert narcs.

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>>36041655
Since I was 12-15 I'm not sure. it used to happen a lot more. It's mostly around my back neck arms and legs and chest. I've never checked with a doctor i think its all in my mind

>>36041672
>Hey Nick, these threads are just rolling by so quickly, guess time zones are really fuckery.

I'm in Switzerland, and usually do them in the evening, local time. Today I have the afternoon off, so I started earlier.

>Hope you're doing good man, you talking to someone?

If you mean my psychotherapist, yes. Saw her for an extended session today.

>>36041678
That should be obvious: the predatory one. Though his tactics were indelicate as fuck since after all, we were wasted. For what it's worth though, I think he was just lonely and used the only tools he has.

>>36041706
> I'm in Switzerland
I'm in Australia, so figures I suppose.

Good to hear you're speaking to someone, everyone always says it's good.

>>36041697

Have you tried a different washing machine powder and softener? Did you get tested for any skin allergies?

If you think it's a psychosomatic thing, any clue what it could be?

>>36041642
No clue. They never told me, but the spectrum runs through my mom's family on both sides. One of my first cousins and either 4 or 5 of my second cousins are full potato. Not multilingual, Appalachain as fuck. Just can't really feel happiness in ehat I used to anymore. I could devour an entire 1500 page novel in around 6 hours, now can barely slog through similar works. I miss enjoying

This board and its funny way to assume everyone else is a Stacy or a Chad made me think of someone in my life as a Chad from early on, and I started referring to him as Chad to my loved one, to the point where I almost called the guy Chad to his face by accident.

Thanks, /r9k/.

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>>36041743
>psychosomatic
(of a physical illness or other condition) caused or aggravated by a mental factor such as internal conflict or stress.
That's the perfect word to describe it.
its not any sort of allergy

>>36041659
I know that feel anon, rough aint it

>>36041735
>That should be obvious: the predatory one.

I don't trust the obvious. Making sure is a more efficient tool.

Have you reread the thread and what was your reaction? Do you remember it happening?

How do you feel about having talked to me like that?

>>36040635
>>36040702
>>36040787
>>36040947
>>36040955
>>36041059
>>36041090
>>36041103
>>36041215
>>36041225
>>36041255
>>36041269
>>36041308
>>36041316
>>36041336
>>36041351
>>36041362
>>36041389
>>36041402
>>36041422
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>>36041590
>>36041624
>>36041630
>>36041642
>>36041655
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>>36041689
>>36041706
>>36041743
>>36041768
When will you learn that your actions have consequences?
CONDENSE YOUR FUCKING POSTS

>>36041788
hes right and i don't even have ocd

>>36041786
I haven't reread it. I could do, if you think it would be useful. As to how I feel about it, I suppose I feel slightly bad, but not really; after all, as far as I'm concerned it wasn't me. I know he's annoyed with himself for being so clumsy though.

>>36041748
>4 or 5 of my second cousins are full potato.

Describe that.

>>36041775

All right, then let's dig there.

Do you itch and scratch at all?

Can you be more precise on the burning sensation and areas?

>>36041788
kek
yeah...

(orignla)

>>36041788
>>36041806

I won't, because I want to save people the trouble of having to sort out which part of a post responds to them. It's one post per response, no matter how short the post may be.

You can either accept it or stick a few fingers up your bum and accept it anyway.

There is no reason for me to accommodate you on an illogical demand while at the same time making life more complicated for everyone else, for no reason.

Logic > your crazy ass whimsies

>>36041861
Does sticking my fingers in my bum count as a psychological condition?

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>>36041825
every single person who is autistic to a certain extent has the same facial structure, along with he usual brain development issues. Worked with TASK for a few years when they'd come to the pool, saw plenty of them.

>>36041879
physiological, maybe

>>36041807
> I could do, if you think it would be useful.

Absolutely. I don't just think it would be useful, but it's the right thing to do: you said that stuff, you are responsible for what you said, even if you were drunk and "altered", it's still you.

> I suppose I feel slightly bad, but not really; after all, as far as I'm concerned it wasn't me

If you suppose, you clearly don't. Just so we are clear: I hold you responsible for everything you say to me. I may adapt and give you much bigger boundaries than a normal person, but I won't act like it wasn't you. No matter which alter it was. I'll do this as a way to help unifying your fragmented self. You're all one.

>I know he's annoyed with himself for being so clumsy though.

Perhaps you should start using "I" for all your alters. It's a lot less fun but it may work better.

What does your therapist say about referring to your alters as other people?

In other news, I'll most likely start group therapy some time soon, mostly to connect with other people who wouldn't be too weirded out by my past.

>>36041879
>Does sticking my fingers in my bum count as a psychological condition?

Only if you feel compelled to do it whenever stressed out.

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>>36041830
It doesn't really itch.it sort of feels like a very bad sunburn. It's mostly just the back of my neck and my upper back but arms and legs too.
>>36041879
yes

>>36041889
>every single person who is autistic to a certain extent has the same facial structure,

I'll assume you mean a specific type of autism. I don't think that's true of Asperger's.

If not, describe the facial structure of the assburgers for me.

>>36041916
What about when strangers on some creepy pedo site ask me to?

>>36041923

And you can't connect this reaction to anything in your past?

Anything involving being touched?

>>36041932

Then yes. You may have been groomed to obey to such orders.

(Why are we even going there unless you have a good reason to?)

Hi OP

I have real bad depersonalisation, my mind is somewhere else and everything I do externally is just on auto pilot and I can't control it

I think its from spending so long in the NEET lifestyle and on a computer all day

How do I fix it

(I had a moment of calm for the first time in years last week after training was over and it felt so good to be in control again but it didnt last)

>>36041946
no its not connected to anything and i was never touched. its just when im anxious or stressed

>>36041958
We come here for the memes?

>>36041907
>Perhaps you should start using "I" for all your alters. It's a lot less fun but it may work better.
My therapist recommends the exact opposite and discourages my speaking for them.

>I hold you responsible for everything you say to me. I may adapt and give you much bigger boundaries than a normal person, but I won't act like it wasn't you. No matter which alter it was. I'll do this as a way to help unifying your fragmented self. You're all one.
I can't stop you, but I don't think that's fair. You're being mean. I can't take responsibility for them because as I said, I don't believe that they're me. I strongly dislike some of the things they pull and don't want to be held to account for them because I wouldn't do them. Like I said though, do as you will.

Do you have a link to the previous thread then?

Good luck with group.

>>36041963
>I have real bad depersonalisation, my mind is somewhere else and everything I do externally is just on auto pilot and I can't control it

Horrible thing to go through, one of the worst.

>I think its from spending so long in the NEET lifestyle and on a computer all day

Not directly.

Derealisation happens after extended periods of anxiety and stress. Your brain can't take it anymore and disconnects from the stressful source, thus the feeling that you're off. This can last a long time.

To fix it, you need to get your brain not to stress out so much, so you basically need to feel safe.

I may be able to help. Do you have other symptoms?

>>36041963
lol just stop being a nerd

I tell people I have 2 years left of uni but I haven't even been to a class in 2 years.
I work weird hours, don't do anything all day but always pretend to be busy when people ask.
2 more years and I'm not gonna be able to pay for my house and be out on my ass.
Everyone will probably shun me for lying for years when they find out.

Too weak willed to change anything for the better.

>>36041974

http://www.newhealthadvisor.com/Skin-Feels-Like-Its-Burning.html

Worth reading.

It could be "just" anxiety, so we'd have to work on that.

>>36041981

We don't.

iuhiuuzzresresrdtfghj

>>36041930
I meant autism, yes, not sure of the type. Bloated cheeks, small eyes, defined first chin. All I have seen of this particular type have been obese. My first cousin, last I saw him, was 330+ at roughly 6 foot. But I feel this talk has gotten us off-topic.

Nick go help this robot
>>36041504

>>36042021
I guess it's just anxiety. so theres nothing i can really do about it.

>>36041990
>My therapist recommends the exact opposite and discourages my speaking for them.

So the idea is to literally treating them like different people? What's the endgame? Is the purpose of your therapy to cancel your alters?

I was of the mind that forcing you to accept that you are all of them was the only way you'd fully control them and eventually relinquish them to be whole again.

>I can't stop you, but I don't think that's fair.

I'm still applying a very flexible set of rules to you, so don't worry. I just think that if you are told that your alters are different from you, and that you won't be held accountable for what they say, it won't encourage you to take control of them, and will only make the problem worse.

> You're being mean. I can't take responsibility for them because as I said, I don't believe that they're me.

I am not being mean since my motivation for this are to help you. Don't forget that. It's harder for me to talk to you this way than it would be to act like your alters are literally other people.

I do think your alters aren't completely on their own and they do things you'd want to do.

>>36019645

>>36042020

Why don't you trust your friends?

>>36042075

On my way.

wef
wegwgwgwgwegwegwgwg

test

>>36042095
There's some crossover in behaviour and actions, but in certain courses and desires they can be very far apart.

The end goal is to reach an internal consensus. If all parts are listened to and respected rather than silenced or rejected, they will cooperate which will lead to an integrated self. Rather than, for example, responding to parental intrajects and replicating the patterns of behaviour I experienced growing up. Thus in saying they're 'all me' you're holding the child accountable for the abuse for which the parent is responsible. This is how it was framed to me when I asked if I was a narcissist in group: he said it would be unreasonable to call the frightened child an egotist.

Anyway, I'll read over the thread.

Hey, we were last talking about my social life and talking to others, if you don't mind picking back up there

>>36042076
>so theres nothing i can really do about it.

Wrong, there's everything you can do about it. What we must find out is what the source of your anxiety is.

Are there other instances where you're anxious?

(Sorry, Facet, something went wrong and I thought I got muted for a day, because of the American dating system, but apparently I'm free again.)

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>>36041776
Yeah and then when she complains that I don't own up to my mistakes, and when I do she just rejects the apology

>>36042111
I don't know. Probably because I've dug my self too deep with lies. They'll probably think I'm fucked up for lying about inane shit and never trust me to speak the truth again.

>>36041996
How long can it take to get better?

I'm not really sure about other symptoms because it's been that way for so long.
>short attention span
>terrible focus

Definitely stressed out a lot and my mind seems to be in a perceptual 'self-help' cycle where it's anxious and then ashamed of that so feels the need to fix it. Because the disparity between myself when I'm anxious and when I'm not is obviously huge and thus I couldn't imagine having to spend my life crippled with that anxiety.

And so I try to fix it to feel normal pretty much all day and every now and then get to feel like that before it all comes back

And at a certain point the only thing I'm anxious about is the shame itself and the only thing I'm ashamed about is the anxiety

But trying to fix it is in itself justifying the feeling if that makes sense? But I can't ignore it either as it's become a habitual thought process

Sorry if this is unclear

>>36042169
>he said it would be unreasonable to call the frightened child an egotist.

Except it'd be perfectly reasonable because it'd be true. My parents are clearly "frightened children" grown into demons. Do I hold them accountable? Not for me to say, or anyone else, but it doesn't mean I must abandon defending myself against them. It's their problem if they act abusively.

Similarly, if you act abusively towards me, no matter why and how and with which alters, I will apply boundaries.

I'm not learned at all on DID so I don't know how such cases are even solved, if that ever happened.

I'd assume the best way is to kill all alters and own up to your desires and thoughts. They are all you, after all. Same brain, same person.

>>36042178

I don't mind!


>>36042205

Check the narc parents link.

And just like everyone else, OP abandoned me. Fuck you too asshole

>>36042282
RIP
I'll always love you anon

>>36042234
>How long can it take to get better?

Not long if you do the right thing. Even a session with a good therapist can lift off a bunch of it.

>a perceptual 'self-help' cycle where it's anxious and then ashamed of that so feels the need to fix it.

Certainly. You need to calm down and let it go, in a way. Notice how you feel, but go no further. Don't try to fix it by thinking about it. Just let it be and go on as if nothing.

Don't be ashamed of your anxiety, it's not your fault.

We need to find out the cause of your anxiety.

You need a name. I'm really serious about the name, guys. Your first post is usually the one where you state your business, and if I don't have a name then, it complicates the memorising process for me.

>>36042282

Calm down. I didn't abandon you, I just had nothing to add to your post because it's not something I can have an opinion on.

You haven't been abandoned, I'm still right here.

Hard luck on the CPTSD. Not necessarily surprising; either outcome wouldn't have surprised me in fact.

Once again the person who wasn't using my name was not me. I'm very confident of that, but I suppose it doesn't matter much either way. The outcome is that I'm using this trip, anyway.

You spoke to F - the predator - and his responses were consistent. More or less what I'd expect from him. I'm sorry he messed with you, but I'm surprised it wasn't worse honestly. He was also the one who gave the voice message. However, you also spoke to the female-identifying alter aka the one who got upset and clingy, and has abandonment issues.

>>36042240
It's supposedly more about honouring and hearing them out. As for the predator, my therapist said he was like a wolf that's been chained up. It will devour everything it's able to, but not because it's hungry: it's rampaging for another reason. Thus, if I can work out why it's so pissed off and sort it out, it will cool it. But chaining it up is apparently not the right call.

I don't even feel like I really need real help about this. It's not very complicated, but it's probably end up as a wall of text

Some background info to begin. My dad is bipolar and did all kinds of fucked up shit. My parents split up when I was 9, from then until I was 13, he wasn't in my life. My mom, between this time, dated an abusive man who beat me and her and his own kids everyday. He spent years telling me I was worthless. I moved in with my dad at 13 to escape this hell, but I only traded a hell for another. My dad still bipolar, dated a nice, but extremely emasculatin woman who forced me into reclusion. I never developed my masculinity as a teen.

At 17 I dropped out of hs and got thrown out of the house. I went back with my mom who was single now so no asshole abusive fuck around. In that time I started serious work on myself which I desperately needed and made tremendous progress. My mom helped me find a job and getvmy shit together, but I was a shut in nerd who needed a looooot of help.

I'm 28 now and never had any professional help, I've come an incredibly long way. I finished school, studied for a career which I am pursuing right now, lost my virginity last december, moving in a luxurious flat with 3 friends in a month, been living on my own 2 years now and can easily socialize, make friend and am overall considered to be very charismatic. Girls in general dig me and I have little problems meeting them. I have a strong will and the perfect attitude to better myself.

The problem I have, the only real insecurity lies in romance. I lost my v last december, but beforehand I had nothing but bad experiences. despite my charisma and goid personality, I'm still hurt from all those years of trauma and I cannot hide it in intimacy. Women get scared because my anxiety relating to these issues makes me desperate, impatient and clingy which always ruin everything.

Having sex fucked me up more than it helped. it reinforced my helplessness

>>36042249
Not sure what to talk about really, sorry
I'll just throw stuff out there I guess. I'm not a social person, I keep talking to a minimum and only if I have to most times, I'm okay with sitting alone in the dark in my room all day, I used to go out often and try and fake it so my parents wouldn't worry about me but I told them the truth about that so I don't even bother anymore
I did decide it was best to try and get a move on with my life since I really want kids, so I started talking to this guy and I like him

>>36041689
I'll check it out, thanks>>36042249
Yup my mom's a narc, we love each other and she means well but her ego often makes her blame me for the consequences of my problems for the family. I'm not gonna be an asshole and pretend that it doesn't bring my family down, but do you think I want to be reminded of that? What's the alternative, to kill myself?

>>36042347
>You spoke to F - the predator - and his responses were consistent. More or less what I'd expect from him. I'm sorry he messed with you, but I'm surprised it wasn't worse honestly. He was also the one who gave the voice message. However, you also spoke to the female-identifying alter aka the one who got upset and clingy, and has abandonment issues.

F, the predator. Francis?

This is weird as balls. You won't be upset at me that I still haven't completely excluded the possibility that you're a smart troll.

I did notice the two "different voices". The you that was scared to see me leave, and the other one that also seemed scared to see me go, but who tried to keep me via another way. It seemed both wanted the same thing.

How do you explain that I'm the target of their attention?

>He was also the one who gave the voice message.

Interesting, because if you listen to it, he says he's you on your basic setting. Was he lying?

It did spook me out, as was probably intended, given the dramatic intonation.

>>36042339
you could still have fucking said something friend. I hate being abandoned. Hate is one of the few emotions I still feel

>>36042347
>It's supposedly more about honouring and hearing them out.

That sounds bad to me. It's like indulging madness, no?

> It will devour everything it's able to, but not because it's hungry: it's rampaging for another reason.

From what I saw, it was the same reason as the girl. The girl begged not to be abandoned, F just tried to manipulate my ass towards the same end, and they spoke in "we", and God knows how much of "you" there was in that "we".

>>36042453
oh shit I just realized something. I've been blaming this shit on my ex, but it started before that, back when I watched a man die and couldn't save him despite my best efforts.

>>36042379
>My dad is bipolar and did all kinds of fucked up shit.

As always: if his mood switches faster than many weeks or months, it's probably not bipolar, especially if there are other things going on because of it.

> My mom, between this time, dated an abusive man who beat me and her and his own kids everyday.

That alone will leave you with massive work to do.

> He spent years telling me I was worthless.

This may be even worse.

>I never developed my masculinity as a teen.

Not sure what you mean, but if you're biologically a man, you already have all you need. The rest is different.

>I'm 28 now and never had any professional help, I've come an incredibly long way. I finished school, studied for a career which I am pursuing right now, lost my virginity last december, moving in a luxurious flat with 3 friends in a month, been living on my own 2 years now and can easily socialize, make friend and am overall considered to be very charismatic. Girls in general dig me and I have little problems meeting them. I have a strong will and the perfect attitude to better myself.

This is all great and shows you have excellent resiliency. It means a good psychotherapist will be very helpful and you can do the work to be even better.

>I'm still hurt from all those years of trauma and I cannot hide it in intimacy.

That's where the fucked up hides, for most people, if they can contain it.

>Women get scared because my anxiety relating to these issues makes me desperate, impatient and clingy which always ruin everything.

Examples of this?

>Having sex fucked me up more than it helped. it reinforced my helplessness

Sex is a messy thing.

>>36042430
I can understand you not ruling it out. After all, I'm pretty suspicious of everyone at all times so I couldn't begrudge you that.

Of course he'd say that. I don't feel up to listening back to it desu.

>>36042461
The theory is that if they're listened to they won't need to force unilateral action. Cooperation rather than discord.

Yeah, I imagine you're right. Both just didn't want to be alone. As to how much of me was in the 'we' there must have been some. As to how much, I couldn't say.

>>36042389
>I really want kids

Tell me more.

>>36042407
>she means well

That'll go away too. Read more about narcs and such, and you'll be able to realise she may not mean well, in fact. She may feed off your anguish. Once you know this in theory, you can test it on her.

I've done that, and I saw the truth face of my mother. It creeped me the fuck out but there was no going back, no unseeing the demon.

Read about limits and narcs, and test some of your healthy limits on her, see her exaggerated reaction for what it is, then keep protecting yourself.

Be merciless in resorting to logic and truth. Narcs hate both. I've been called a pedantic intellectual for decades because I merely suggested that logic should be used in conversation.

>>36042546
There's not much to say about it, I just want to be a mom, it's the one thing that seems fulfilling in my life, no jobs ever appealed to me anyways

>>36042453
>you could still have fucking said something friend.

True, but, to show you my side, you could have said something else to ensure I had anything to respond to. This can go both ways. Don't read too much into things or you'll hurt yourself with them. I know, I do that too.

At any rate: I will never abandon you. Carve that in stone.

I'm sorry I made you feel bad with my omission. I did not understand or know that it would hurt you, otherwise I would have definitely responded with something.

>>36042492
>but it started before that, back when I watched a man die and couldn't save him despite my best efforts.

Are you serious? I'll assume you are.

This is why I tend to ask simple questions: people very often don't think to connect the most glaring event.

That's some heavy stuff. Elaborate.

>>36042545
>Of course he'd say that. I don't feel up to listening back to it desu.

Perhaps you're F right now and making a great show of sounding like you're not.

>The theory is that if they're listened to they won't need to force unilateral action. Cooperation rather than discord.


Makes sense, in a crazy ass way.

>Yeah, I imagine you're right. Both just didn't want to be alone. As to how much of me was in the 'we' there must have been some. As to how much, I couldn't say.

You don't remember whether you were there when "you" typed those words?

>>36042598

Do you feel confident in that you could raise a child well?

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>>36042618
Its ok, you gave me a minor revelation >>36042492
I think this may be why I've gone apathetic. First human death I witnessed first hand was some stranger who's life I was trying to save. Motorcycle crash, head trauma. Lied to his family on-site, told them he'd pull through even though I knew he was dead before the ambulance got there. He had the same look in his eyes cows get after we butcher them, even though he still had a weak pulse. Couple days after hsi wife tracked me down and gave me his band he wore, because I was "an angel to a bunch of gruff ol' bikers." Pic reated, I haven't taken it off since that July day.

>>36042663
As I've said before, I tend to only recall snapshots but most of all, flashes of emotion. Those were:

>Loneliness
>Desperation
>Spite
>Smugness

I suppose I was down and pretty lonely too, so I must have been.

>>36042671
Not supremely confident or anything, but I feel I could do a good job with 3 kids

>>36042705
dammit I cant even take a fucking picture without it fucking falling over

>>36042705
>a minor revelation

That's what I'm here for. Glad you thought of that!

>Lied to his family on-site

Why?

>Couple days after hsi wife tracked me down and gave me his band he wore, because I was "an angel to a bunch of gruff ol' bikers."

That will always mean a lot to her. Damn. You did a brave thing, anon, and you paid and are paying the price for it. You'll come out of it stronger, worry not.

>>36042721

Should I expect to become the focus for your alters more often in the future?

>>36042736

On a completely separate note, I feel something is off. It's like, I think you want to speak, but you don't. Like there's a lot more to say about everything, but you don't say it. Like this isn't completely who you are, just an abridged version of you, with the full you hiding somewhere.

Am I off with this impression?

>>36042589
I'll try my best to look out for this, but I don't wanna assume that she is like this. I've caught her praying for me late in the night while my dad is asleep. Sure, it could be for her own benefit, but I kind of doubt that after all she's done for me

>>36042794
I wouldn't say so. As I might have mentioned, I'm off the drink for a month now, so I should be more level.

>>36042739

Truth be told, I had assumed you took it that way and posted it that way. I can read upside down, no biggie.

Don't judge yourself harshly for such trivial stuff, you're a man who faced trauma to save another man's life, and you'll carry that for the rest of your life. You're a hero, heroes don't have to give a fuck about upside down pics on anonymous imageboards.

>>36042826
>I don't wanna assume that she is like this.

No need to, just doubt your rational impressions of her because most of them will be the result of manipulation. Trust your gut.

>I've caught her praying for me late in the night while my dad is asleep

Likely because she wanted you to.

>Sure, it could be for her own benefit

That too, narcs know they're evil cunts, deep down, and they fear God, but they also think they can fuck God in the ass by acting religious.

>after all she's done for me

A thing narcs will tell you endlessly. She may have told you already, "After all I've done for you!" Nothing better for a narc to do things for you, whether you asked for it or not, only to use it as currency against you, generally to make you feel like shit.

Narcs don't understand loving. They do things like it's a business. The more they owe you, the better they like it. This is how narcs "help".

>>36042815
No you're kinda right, sometimes I figure it's not worth it to open my mouth, but most times I don't care enough to talk

>>36042781
Well you dont tell a bunch of burly, emotionally-charged bikers that we should STOP trying to save their brother. They still thought we could save him, even though I'd felt his soul leave before the ambulance arrived. Found out later he was declared dead on arrival at hospital. But between that, realization that I've wasted past 5 years of my life on a degree I know nothing for, and another relationship ending with being cheated on I just don't see a point

>>36042887
>I figure it's not worth it to open my mouth,

Let's have a rule that you should speak things out at all time, even if you don't think it's worth it. Just let it all out.

>but most times I don't care enough to talk

Since this is for yourself, give yourself the respect to make the effort to care, and thus, to speak. It's important.

>>36042535

He's diagnosed and under med since 4 years ago after we had an argument where we almost fought fist to fist.

What I meant is I never developed the confidence to affirm my masculinity, talk to girls, invite them over which was out of the question anyways considering how fucked up the family atmosphere was at home. Masculinity might not be the correct term, but I didn't develop the assertiveness and aggressivity often associated with men. As you said I already have it. I found it later in my life. I'm aggressive by nature, but always suppressed it. step mama killed every instance where I was angry at things or wanted to express anger so that conditioned me to bottle up. I've been way more comfortable with myself since I accepted that it's ok to be angry when it's justified and to let myself be as aggressive as I need to claim my space and not let others step over me.

Examples would be that everytime I have feelings for a girl and I date her fir a while. Inevitably I become extremely anxious and impatient and I try to push things too fast and the pressure is, understandably, too much for them to handle and things end up awkward. It's entirely my fault, I just want to learn control and security. My friends recently pointed out that I have an habit of running after the type of girl who doesn't fit with me. I'm emotionally dependant, but I always go for the ones who are independant.

As I said I know myself well enough to understand my flaws and shortcomings. Meaning that, in my mind, I understand the cause and, most of the time, already know the way to take or the solution to apply, but I still feel scared and insecure. There's my logical side which is down to earth and then there's my emotional side which is all over the place. As I said I'm not looking for concrete advice or solution. It's just that the inner cibflict is very draining and hard to deal with and I just dob't really know which path I need to go down to anymore.

>>36042921
>Well you dont tell a bunch of burly, emotionally-charged bikers that we should STOP trying to save their brother.

In that sense, OK. Paramedics, I'm told, don't suddenly tell people the person is dead, either, and I think they even learn that in training: they'll pretend to keep saving the person to spare them the trauma of seeing the actual death, and to spare them the scene where people stop trying, because most people can't believe it's too late and the person is now gone. So you acted like a pro. Except you couldn't spare yourself the trauma.

>even though I'd felt his soul leave

That of course piqued my interest. If you could say more.

>But between that, realization that I've wasted past 5 years of my life on a degree I know nothing for, and another relationship ending with being cheated on I just don't see a point

What's the degree?

Don't look for "a point" now, focus on healing. Things make way more sense when you're doing OK.

>>36042922
>Let's have a rule that you should speak things out at all time, even if you don't think it's worth it. Just let it all out.
Maybe some of the things I don't say, I don't think it's best to say what I think about 8 year olds to their faces
>Since this is for yourself, give yourself the respect to make the effort to care, and thus, to speak. It's important.
That's a bit much, sort of diving headfirst into being really extraverted

>>36042937
>He's diagnosed and under med since 4 years ago after we had an argument where we almost fought fist to fist.

What's your first language?

Being diagnosed by a professional doesn't mean much; I've seen so many cases that were misdiagnosed, I don't even know how these people got their licenses. BPD has been misdiagnosed as bipolar for decades, though it was much worse in the 80's than today, it still happens. Becoming violent is more BPD than bipolar.

>Masculinity might not be the correct term, but I didn't develop the assertiveness and aggressivity often associated with men.

Or, simply, confidence to function with other human beings.


>since I accepted that it's ok to be angry when it's justified and to let myself be as aggressive as I need to claim my space and not let others step over me.

That's excellent.

>Inevitably I become extremely anxious and impatient and I try to push things too fast and the pressure is, understandably, too much for them to handle and things end up awkward

Yes. Example of "too fast"?

>My friends recently pointed out that I have an habit of running after the type of girl who doesn't fit with me.

You may very well be attracted to girls you can't have, just because they don't want you. This may relate to your parents somehow, but I don't remember if we mentioned them yet.

>>36043026
>Maybe some of the things I don't say, I don't think it's best to say what I think about 8 year olds to their faces

I obviously didn't mean in general but for the specific purpose of our exchanges. I'm a bit older than 8, so I'll be fine.

>That's a bit much, sort of diving headfirst into being really extraverted

Nothing to lose by trying. You'll feel better as you try. You'll do it and realise there's no risk for anything. You'll feel safe and in control. Just do it.

>>36042965
not much to say about it. When you are around death often enough you can "feel" the moment a living being dies. I live on a backwoods farm, butcher hogs and cattle every year.
Degree is BS of IT, with a Security/networking dual specialization.
>>36042835
The problem is everything I try to do ends up fucked up somehow.
Also I'm no hero. A hero would have saved that man. I couldn't save him and its another failure on the heaping list of failures that is me.

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>>36043173
>Degree is BS of IT, with a Security/networking dual specialization.

Completely off topic and optional (you don't have to respond), but it's one of those moments when I really want to know, in detail, what that's about. Network my ass up. Dual style.

>The problem is everything I try to do ends up fucked up somehow.

More like you'll literally use the posting of a picture on 4chan to judge yourself negatively. With standards like these, nobody would survive judgement for a day.

>Also I'm no hero. A hero would have saved that man. I couldn't save him and its another failure on the heaping list of failures that is me.

Ah, no! A hero would have done his best, and you did. Not everyone would have, keep that in mind. You chose to risk trauma for a stranger. You are a fucking hero, and I'd like you to change your name to that. "Depressed" is too general, I won't remember it. If you can't call yourself hero, make it, "He said to call myself a hero" or something like that.

You didn't fail. You tried to save him. In that alone is your success. You were under no obligation to save him, and had you had the choice, you would have saved him, but this was not a question of choice.

It's not your fault.

Tearing up a bit for you right now.

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My mother had mental illness and from what 'm guessing, schizo. I was a kid at the time so not entirely sure. My mother never physically hit me but emotionally and mentally fucked me up (ie. she would be smiling and laughing at the wrong time or talk to herself a lot, etc) My father was a abusive alcoholic and gambler, who only hit me a few times but also mentally fucked me up (calling me a loser or a weak man etc.)

My childhood was bouncing between both houses, neither happier than the other. My only safe haven was my dad's side grandparents who actually cared and treated me like a kid. Went to school and got great grades. This goes on through elementary and middle school.

Once HS starts I no longer had to visit my mother (she missed court hearings regarding my treatment under her care) which was amazing. I made the few and only friends I've ever had in HS, and everything was good my Freshman/Sophomore year (aside from the depression) However I had to transfer to a new school and had to get a job, which would cut all my ties with them. Only had 2 friends at this point, finish HS eventually and graduate with them. Now they we've graduated though, I only talk to one of them like once a week.

Now I'm in my 2nd semester in college, failing horribly because of my self-destructive habits of wanting to dropout, and unsure what to do.
I'm both content and upset with my life. On one hand, I can't believe I made it this far and am proud of it. On the other hand, I feel almost as if I was a failure-by-design and was never meant to get this far. So I can't really feel bad since this is all I can do.

Mentally I have depression, depersonalize and maybe mild psysois. None have been officially diagnosed.

>>36043357
>Mentally I have depression, depersonalize and maybe mild psysois. None have been officially diagnosed.

I read your post carefully. I feel for you.

Check the Borderline link in the resources, and tell me if anything else adds up to your diagnosis.

facet, you're roleplaying scum. the lowest of the lowest. fuck off and die

>>36043089

French.

Oh I understand your point, but he is bipolar without a doubt. Intense manic phases where he'd invest and spend money like crazy or start projects followed with long periods of depression.

Too fast meaning that once a mutual interest is established I desperately want to know if the feelings are mutual so I become pushy over having an answer fast and most women have told me to chill the fuck out and take time to get to know each other. Which is perfectly fair. I am aware of this. I've been conditioned to think that taking too long = losing all your chances and I have an hard time letting go of this. I'm learning that the time it takes is different from person to person and to, also, allow myself the time that I need. Which I never take.

My parents are a touchy subject of course, I have many issues relating to them and I know for a fact they express regret. There are many elephants in the room so to speak. Pretty recently, I had a phase of intense resentment for my dad and step mom. I used to resent my mom for not protecting me from her ex, but we talked about it and came to term with it. I have an excellent relation with my mom, but my dad and step mom are obviously regretful, but mostly in denial they did anything wrong and constantly shift the blame on my mom's ex. So talking about it isn't possible now. I tried but it lead to violent arguments. One day we will face these elephants, but for now I've accepted I need to live my own life free from the chains of my regrets relating to them and that sibce they do little effort to reunite the bridges, there's no reason for me to go out of my way to do the same. Of course I am deeply pained by this, but I've mostly moved on. I don't blame them anymore and I just want to focus on me.

Obviously, I don't have much atrachment to blood family. My clise friends have been, for half of my life, a better family than my own.

>>36043434
So you rely on hypochondria to "help" robots? That's low.

>>36043464

This could be Facet himself.

I've recently been diagnosed with bipolar 2, but i'm concerned at the fact that I might actually have BPD as my mood fluctuates from highs to lows throughout the span of a day. I read through the link you provided and I a lot of the symptoms. My memory has also gone to complete shit and i don't know what to do about that

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>>36043434
After reading the borderline article, most of it matched up. Aside from the "extreme" mood swings it was right on point.

Thank you for the reply, and reading.

>>36043474
>Oh I understand your point, but he is bipolar without a doubt. Intense manic phases where he'd invest and spend money like crazy or start projects followed with long periods of depression.

OK, that makes sense.

>Too fast meaning that once a mutual interest is established I desperately want to know if the feelings are mutual so I become pushy over having an answer fast and most women have told me to chill the fuck out and take time to get to know each other.

I understand, relationships don't feel safe for you, because you have a lot at risk.

>allow myself the time that I need. Which I never take.

Do, because the girls who will go far and quickly with you are the ones who don't actually need to know who you are at all, and they'll leave you as soon as their fantasies of who you are fade away.

Your attitude is very healthy, you're doing good.

C'est tr[e]s bien !

>>36043119
>I obviously didn't mean in general but for the specific purpose of our exchanges. I'm a bit older than 8, so I'll be fine.
Oh, I was talking about work, sorry
>Nothing to lose by trying. You'll feel better as you try. You'll do it and realise there's no risk for anything. You'll feel safe and in control. Just do it.
I don't know, I tend to spill a lot of spaghetti when I try and talk more than I usually do

>>36043268
thats the thing. Been doing this shit for years. And I don't know a damn thing. I've retained nothing from all these years of school. All I know is I constantly google everything and quizlet is my best fucking friend
>Not everyone would have, keep that in mind
You reminded me that I was the only person who stopped to help. Bu the time I'd pulled to the accident cars were backed up 5-6 deep. This was on a 4-lane. I guess I needed to hear that anon. Stopping by his roadside marker on my way home, taking a pic for you. And I guess for me too.

>>36043489
>So you rely on hypochondria to "help" robots? That's low.

That's some serious bullshit right there but I'll still respond: the way professional help their patients always has them show the patient a list of the symptoms that make up a condition they might have, so they can discuss it. I'm doing nothing different here. You're the best judge of yourself in many cases, especially if you come here for help. Disorders where the person would fail to see themselves in the condition typically don't make those people seek help.

Besides, hypochondriacs rarely assume they have BPD, rather than "something's wrong with my liver, my arm, etc."

You don't suspect yourself of self-harming: you either do it or you don't.

Get bent.

>>36043535

Read about it, lots.

Then consider seeing a professional, maybe even DBT.

>>36043503
this could be a gullible idiot

>>36043549

That alone will be a huge help to move forward. Keep reading about it and seek professional help. Things can improve.

>>36043593
>I don't know, I tend to spill a lot of spaghetti when I try and talk more than I usually do

And that's good. Understand something: I like spaghetti. You could spill spaghetti for 5 hours straight, and I would not mind one second. I'd only want to make sure you feel OK. You don't have to impress me or "never fail", or anything of the sort. I already know you're a good person and are worth my time. I don't need proof or evidence.

If anything, you should spill some spaghetti. And realise it does nothing. You're fine. Fear of spilling spaghetti is worse than spaghetti spilling, truly.

So don't worry, spill away.

>>36043606
>You reminded me that I was the only person who stopped to help.

A fact that you must think of more often. You stopped. Nobody else did. Only you took the trauma to try and save a stranger.

It took serious guts to do what you did. You are a fucking hero, for real.

>taking a pic for you. And I guess for me too.

I'm bracing for the feels already.

>>36043634

But instead, it's a skeptical benefactor. I'd sooner be fooled while trying to help than hurting the innocent while trying to protect myself from trollage.

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>>36043464
Even if I was, I'd still be more interesting than you. Remember to do your best today!

I have Schizo-affective disorder, and it completely destroyed my life because of visions, hearing/seeing things. I dropped out of school in 10'th grade and have been a hermit until now. (about 5-6 years give or take) I also have trouble empathising with people, which I've read is a trait common among schizophrenic patients.

I have SIGNIFICANTLY improved in some areas in my life, such as my emotions healing, my brain being more stable, and many other things that I used to fight against no longer bother me, even the visual/audio hallucinations are mostly backround noise.


But now I have a new problem. I have lost a LOT of my memory about my life in the past before the time i was 15, to the point I have trouble even remembering important events in my life.


I know that schizophrenic breakdowns generally destroy grey matter in the brain, so here is my question to you.

can I heal? can I recover my lost memories? I feel like I barley know who I am anymore? what treatments would you recommend? thanks.

>>36043741
>I'd sooner be fooled while trying to help
by being fooled you hinder the well being of the fooler rather than help him

>>36043750
>I'd still be more interesting than you
you roleplay precisely because you are uninteresting

>>36043757
>I know that schizophrenic breakdowns generally destroy grey matter in the brain,

Is that a thing?

Is your diagnosis a professional one or your own? If professional, what did the professionals say about all your questions?

I'm not a psychiatrist, so I'll respond very carefully here. Most of what I could do is ask you questions, as I am no specialist in your issue, if that is what your issue is.

Were your parents odd in any way?

>>36043795
>by being fooled you hinder the well being of the fooler rather than help him

It only serves the fooler right, doesn't it? You don't owe benevolence and good things to people who waste your time and leech off you.

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>>36043795
Looks like you've cracked the case, senpai. Here is your reward

>>36043795
>you roleplay precisely because you are uninteresting

I have to say that I have believed two people in my past when I shouldn't have. Both pretended to be others.

One got unlucky, because the pictures she sent me, supposedly of her, I randomly came across on /b/, and it turned out to be a porn actress. Once confronted, she gave me a messy story about having a twin who did porn. I didn't believe her but still gave her the benefit of the doubt. Some time later, she admitted having lied, that she had a mental disorder, etc.

Another one did the same, for quite some time. So yes, I'm aware people can fool others for extended periods of time.

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>>36043721
band as proof its me. Also you want feels? Try driving past what you feel is your single largest failure every single day. Every single day I leave home I have to drive past a reminder I failed to save his life, his kids don't have a father and his wife is a widow because I couldn't save him

>>36043902
>Another one did the same, for quite some time. So yes, I'm aware people can fool others for extended periods of time
and yet, even if you are aware you havent learned the lesson

>>36043873
thank you, scammer-chan

>>36043864
>It only serves the fooler right, doesn't it?
except the fooler has an actual problem, just not the one he is trying to convince you of

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>>36043975
One more (You) for your service to the thread. It's the last one I have in stock though, so be sure to treasure it! ^_^

>>36043672
Half the time I don't even realize until later, or it just flys over my head
I've started realizing I'm really bad at social cues and stuff like that

>C'est tres bein
They something good? I said my French was shit

>>36043912

Goddam.. I teared up.

Man, you need to change how you feel about this, or even take a different route. This was not your failure. All the people who passed by and didn't, you could say those failed, but you didn't. It wouldn't be fair for those people to sleep soundly when they didn't even try, while you suffer because you tried.

Think about this guy: you stopped to save him. If he's anywhere right now, what do you think he thinks?

I'll tell you, "This stranger tried to save me. I didn't know him, he didn't know, yet he stopped and tried to save me. Now, because of this, he has trauma and must deal with it on a daily basis. I don't want this guy to suffer more because of my own accident; I am thankful for what he did, which nobody else tried. If I could send him a message, I would write, "Thank you," and I would hope he can recover from having done more for me than most could ever do in my life."

Anon, you deserve peace of mind. This man, if he could speak to you now, he would praise you like a god. Can you imagine? You have an accident, and some stranger comes and tries to save you! How would you feel? Would you be upset that you died anyway? No! You'd be thankful that someone tried, for a random stranger.

>>36043975
>and yet, even if you are aware you havent learned the lesson

The lesson being that both liars eventually admitted to me because I had constantly thought the better of them and they felt too bad to go on.

>except the fooler has an actual problem, just not the one he is trying to convince you of

Even so, if you want to be able to help, you have to be trusted. If Facet is a liar, I still need his trust before I can help him in any way. I don't risk anything. And if earning his trust takes that, then it's not wasted time.

>>36044049
>I said my French was shit

You actually didn't.

>that's very good

Don't be hard on yourself.

>>36043912
This is a grim tale. Hopefully in time you will become numb to it. I'd lend you some edge if it were possible. I can't really imagine how tough it must be. You did your best, and that's all you could have done. You need not be ashamed of falling short, because you did everything within your power. Energy expended in the service of good is never misspent. It's a deed you have a right to take pride in.

>>36044081
>The lesson being that both liars eventually admitted to me because I had constantly thought the better of them and they felt too bad to go on.
yes, two of them admitted to you they were lying. how many do you think didnt?

>>36044081
>I don't risk anything. And if earning his trust takes that, then it's not wasted time
he doesnt trust you if he's lying to you, you can only help him if he admits his actual problems to you. by believing him blindly you just prolong his time spent with actual problems. you're not only not helping him. you are helping him hurt himself

>>36044053
I... well, shit. Got so wrapped up in my own feelings of inadequacy I couldn't see from any perspective but my own. Thanks friend, I needed to baww my eyes out like that I think. Haven't fucking cried since that day.

Guys, it's time for me to go work out. Give me about an hour or two.

I'll still check the thread between sets, so chances are it won't make a big difference.

>yes, two of them admitted to you they were lying. how many do you think didnt?

I wouldn't know, but not many.

>he doesnt trust you if he's lying to you,

Not necessarily. His kind lies to protect himself and get what he wants. I'm not sure he's lying.

> by believing him blindly you just prolong his time spent with actual problems.

I've voiced my doubts.

>you are helping him hurt himself

I really don't think so. He knows what's going on, he's not blind to his own issues.

What's up? I'm back.

>>36044243
>His kind lies to protect himself and get what he wants.
Astute. I only lie when it's useful to me.

>>36044223

That's good! It's something I've noticed in myself: I assume things and don't see things from someone else's perspective, especially that of the person you did something for.

Swap places in situations to see how you think about them. It's very revealing.

Imagine this man, if he could, he'd give you a massive hug and smile at you. He'd want you to be free.

If someone tried to save YOU the way you did, would YOU want them to be traumatised and emotionally arrested for the attempt! Heck no! You'd want that guy to get a medal and your warmest thanks! Same thing here. His wife did what he would have done if he could have, be sure.

>>36044276
Hey, you never told me why you might have a dissociative disorder.

>>36044284
Thanks a lot. I just always feel inadequate, long as I can remember. Maybe upbringing had something to do with it?

>>36044243
>he's not blind to his own issues
lying about your problems is in part a form to avoid your actual problems. again, you're helping him hurt himself. he might not be completely unaware about his actual issues but he's definitely avoiding them and you're helping him do so by playing his game. that's a shitty thing for a professional to do

how do you know you need professional help?

>>36041143
this is the worst advice you could possibly give, LSD is a powerful introspective drug, if someone like this bipolar kid should take LSD he could end definetly fucked up and completely unable to recover.
LSD is not a joke

>>36044557
not to mention coke could make a bipolar state where he could lose introspection and do terrible shit. the only mental illnesses for which lsd is being trialed as a successful treatment is depression and ocd as far as i know and those are trials that have just started so im not sure just how effective the treatment is

>>36044345
You mean speculate as to why it developed? I've done so in more depth in a previous thread but briefly, it's because I have a fairly rough upbringing, and that often leads to fairly drastic personality problems of one type or another. A theme that as far as I can tell is particularly common among DID people is sexual abuse in early childhood, and that was one factor in my own.

>>36043850

>is that a thing?

yes

http://schizophrenia.com/?p=692


The professionals diagnosed me, they said that a lot of my questions and general issues in life are because i have very little organizational skills. they said that I was very obviously shcizo-affective and that I was one of the people who "slipped through the cracks"

>were your parents odd in any way?


My father is Schizo-affective also. he's also a severe alcholic. in a nutshell he's the type of person who is noticeably crazy, but funny and charming enough to where he just barley fits in enough to function... (he is an ace mechanic with 35 yrs expertise)


My mother on the other hand I'm almost sure is moderately autistic. she's very black and white, and very literal about things. Doesn't have much in the way of feelings towards most people, and is very organized, and obsessed with times and dates. But she does have a deeply loving side for me and my two brothers from another marriage, and children, as well as animals. Her mind is a lot more like a man honestly.

>>36044350
>Maybe upbringing had something to do with it?

Certainly. Describe it.

>>36044360
>that's a shitty thing for a professional to do

You're more transparent than you think you are.

>>36044450
>how do you know you need professional help?

When you're wondering about whether you need some professional help or not. It usually means you do.

>>36044686
>it's because I have a fairly rough upbringing
>fairly rough

You don't say.

>>36044883
>You're more transparent than you think you are.
im transparent because im not trying to obfuscate anything, lad

>>36044786
>Its been noted for the past decade

The article begins with a juvenile misspeling. Not sure if serious.

Probably some article paid for by pharmaceutical companies who really want to push their pills. Could be wrong, but yeah...

>>36044971

What is true, however, is that brain bits are smaller in people with mental illnesses, but it's not permanent. They grow back to normal when you get better.

So to suggest it's a loss of brain matter is a lie.

How can I tell if I'm narcissistic? Can you tell if I describe my symptoms to you?

>>36044871
Parents weren't abusive or anything, just their attention being split between 4 kids meant I went unnoticed a lot. I am the middle kid. Have older brother, then younger sister, then younger brother. The only time they ever really noticed me was when I messed up. Little brother is moms favorite, little sister is "daddys little girl". Older brother was just a fuckup, drunk driving several times, busted for alcohol and weed to minors (he was 22 with two 17yr olds in his car) actually came to blows with my dad. Once. So yeah they didn't really pay attention to the quiet kid who sat in his room and read.

>>36045012
>How can I tell if I'm narcissistic? Can you tell if I describe my symptoms to you?

Yes. But I can already tell you you don't have NPD. You wouldn't be wondering about it if you had it, because you couldn't have read through the symptoms.

>>36044099
Eh I try, my Spanish is a lot better, but I took that for 3 years

About being more social,I don't really feel the need for it, I'm sort of content with what I have

>>36045071

Maybe they weren't much better to your siblings and that'd explain a lot too.

Neglect is abuse, in case you wondered.

Check the link about the various types of abuse and keep in mind that psychological abuse generally ends up with worse consequences than sexual abuse.

>>36045081
I'm not sure what you mean, here. Are you saying narcissists lack the attention span to read through a symptom list?

>>36045089
>Eh I try, my Spanish is a lot better, but I took that for 3 years

I've never learned Spanish. I think it would help somewhat with French, but not sure.

>Eh I try, my Spanish is a lot better, but I took that for 3 years

>About being more social,I don't really feel the need for it, I'm sort of content with what I have

I was telling you to just let it out without fear. Maybe you don't need to be more social, but more likely, it scares you.

>>36045112
>I'm not sure what you mean, here. Are you saying narcissists lack the attention span to read through a symptom list?

No, I'm saying they'd look away as soon as they realise this may be about them and their deep dark secret.

You may have narc traits, but you are too insightful and introspective to be NPD proper.

>>36045133
Yea it's a lot like French which makes things a bit easier some times

I'll give it a shot but I'll probably puss out

>>36045180

You put too much pressure on yourself. Trying things and not succeeding is fine, what counts is trying. Some things you can't fail, like trying. If you try, it's automatically a success, no matter the outcome.Trying, in itself, is an achievement.

>>36045141
Fair enough then. I don't see why a narc wouldn't want to learn more about themselves, though. Do they prefer to avoid introspection typically?

>>36045081
I've denied having it pretty much my whole life, and even reading it it's hard to see in my actions that I might have it. It's only when I look at it from a purely objective point of view can I see that it might be there. If it's not strong enough to be Narcissism, it feels damn close to it.

>>36044993

ok, so in a nutshell I can heal? good to know.

>>36045224
>Fair enough then. I don't see why a narc wouldn't want to learn more about themselves, though. Do they prefer to avoid introspection typically?

The whole disorder consists of hiding themselves to themselves, because of profound core shame. They DON'T want to know about what they're doing, that's how it works. If they were fully conscious of what they do and why they do it, they couldn't do it.

That's why they need to project their shit on others constantly, to attack it on someone else, to feel free of it themselves.

They build a false self which they need to feed, and the best food for that is what comes from others, because others don't "bullshit" like narcs to, so, ironically, narcs prefer compliments from others than their own, because, on some level, they know it's bullshit.

They want to appear something they're not.

Fresh example from my own narc father: he hates homos and spent his life shitting on them (like he does on anyone, for anything); today, he posted on Facebook, an image saying something like, "If you know a gay person, repost this!" as if he liked them and whatnot, despite having spent a decade shitting on them. They want to look good. Someone with introspection couldn't be such a hypocrite.

They can't introspect. That's why they need to have the TV on all the time, or music, and hate being bored.

>>36045264

It's a spectrum, from healthy narcissism, to narcisistic traits, to having a narcissistic personality, to NPD.

If your parents are narcs, you may have "fleas", and, thus, some traits. But don't worry, your attitude is not that of a narc. Narcs don't suspect themselves of being narcs, and Sam Vaknin is a fraud who bought his P.hD from a fake university; he has no credentials and is just a psychopathic conman. In case anyone wonders what my opinion of the man is.

>>36045104
Not sure how I feel about this to be honest. Parents tried hard to raise all of us right and not face the abuses they themselves took in their upbringing. Dad was stern but fair, when he was around. Not to give too much of him away here, long story short he drove hundreds of miles to get to work to drive hundreds of thousands of miles to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. Mom tried hard for us until her back went out back when I was a freshman in high school. I was always around, trying not to get in peoples' way. So I was just kinda there most of the time. "The squeaky hinge gets the oil" is one of those sayings that is never wrong. I never made a fuss so they didn't spend a lot of time on me. Guess it didn't help that I'm antisocial as fuck

>>36045341
>ok, so in a nutshell I can heal? good to know.

Yes.

>>36045360
Alright then. Insightful. As you say, I can see some of those traits (particularly hating bored/ being bored easily and needing multiple distractions - people tend to consider Dark Souls difficult, but I need to have the radio on at the same time on a talk station in order to have my attention fully captured) in myself but not all of them. That social media thing rankles me. Quite gross.

I'm sure this hasn't escaped you, but with people like your parents presumably with the right care they could be rehabilitated and function in a less destructive way. Writing them off as monsters does them a disservice - though in your case it's certainly reasonable to remove them from your life for your own protection.

>>36040635
When I was younger, I was a super jealous and possessive guy in relationships. I thought I'd gotten over it since, but I still get flashes of that behaviour sometimes and I don't want to become that sort of asshole again. What do? Plz halp.

>>36045401

No matter what, they should not have neglected you. Disregard all the hard work they did for you: if it was done to make you feel like you owed them, it's not worth much. Food is not the only thing a child needs, and if you had been given the choice, considering the mental scars neglect can give you, you'd have chosen a different home more love.

I think your siblings and you all reacted differently to your parents' neglect, acting out or acting in, like you, but I doubt any of it was very healthy.

You were made to be antisocial, it's not who you are. You've learned to be air in a room and not bother others. You were made to resent taking your rightful place. Now people assume you're weird when you stay behind or fear putting yourself forward when it's right to. They don't know you were raised that way, and neither did you until I told you.

There is hope.

>>36045453
>I'm sure this hasn't escaped you, but with people like your parents presumably with the right care they could be rehabilitated and function in a less destructive way.

It hasn't escaped me: I know there's no hope for them.

>with the right care they could be rehabilitated and function in a less destructive way.

The only rehabilitation that could work would be a bullet.

>Writing them off as monsters does them a disservice

They are. I never fully forget that they too were little children who did not get treated right, but I have spent decades of my life doing my best for them, and endured their bullshit without even being aware of it most of the time, I can do no more, and they are not trying.

They do not want help. They are absolutely, utterly, hopeless.

>>36045456

Find out why you're scared to lose your partner.

Perhaps your parents only loved you conditionally and you've never experienced unconditional love, so whenever you're in a relationship, your life is at stake. Or so it feels.

>>36045547
I can't accept that. I don't believe that anyone is truly irredeemable.

>>36045561
I've never thought about it like that. But what can I do to stop myself having these possessive and jealous feelings, because simply identifying the source probably won't change anything.

>>36045597
>I can't accept that. I don't believe that anyone is truly irredeemable.

That's because you don't know my parents.

I'm the most optimistic person there is, but I must agree with the consensus here: they will never change. Chances are they were much less abused than my brothers and I, but they still came out worse, because they are much weaker people.

They don't understand much of anything, on an emotional level. They are horrible people. They lie, they manipulate, they abuse. They have the nerve to state, to us, that we were never abused.

If you ever want to meet a black hole in person, I'll introduce you.

>>36045611
>identifying the source probably won't change anything.

It can do a lot already.

Mental dialogue: remind yourself that you're probably jealous for a wrong reason, that you're just scared to lose your partner, and that it's OK to say so to her. She'll appreciate that she matters to you so much (if she's sane).

>>36045682
Top tier advice. Thanks Doc.

>>36045494
I think you're slightly off in your first paragraph. I don't feel like I owe them anything, except gratitude for how hard they tried to raise us right. I've been to people's homes before. Like my one true friend, guy I've been friends with since 4th fucking grade. He's had 2 or 3 different stepdads, none of them treated him with one hundredth the respect or love my parents showed me growing up. Most of the people I knew growing up came from broken homes, I'm thankful my parents put in the effort to raise us with morals, and teach us how to be functional adults.

>>36045725
>I don't feel like I owe them anything, except gratitude for how hard they tried to raise us right.

That's a contradiction. Raising someone is a lot.

>none of them treated him with one hundredth the respect or love my parents showed me growing up.

Very likely, but such comparisons don't do much.

>I'm thankful my parents put in the effort to raise us with morals, and teach us how to be functional adults.

You are a much better judge of your parents than I am, I only highlight the fact that you seem to have been neglected, and that can have dire consequences, which the person doesn't think is related to the upbringing. I just want to be sure you have as many angles as possible on your current issues.

>>36045793
I appreciate your opinion, but I think your view on them may be clouded by your own upbringing and home conditions you've talked about ITT. I have seen children who get neglected at home. Mom babysits under yhe table, has basically raised at least 30 children over her career to supplement income during the school years. Those neglected kids I feel bad for, because they always constantly want your attention. After you give them attention the first time you can see their eyes light up at someone interacting with them and taking interest in what they are saying.

>>36045949
>Those neglected kids I feel bad for, because they always constantly want your attention.

Some, yes, others have learned and integrated the idea that they had nothing to say that anyone could ever care about. If you show them attention, they expect you to do what their parents do, so they tell you the least possible information, just short of being impolite.

I was that kind of kid.

>>36045661
I'm fairly sure that I'll meet comparable people if I get the gig working with offenders that I was thinking about.

>They have the nerve to state, to us, that we were never abused.
I know this feel.

As to them never changing, you're probably right. However I don't think it's impossible. If they had some kind of profound experience that rocked them enough that they wanted to change - they were somehow faced with their own monstrousness - then perhaps they'd seek help. But as you say, it's unlikely. If I ever become a Jigsaw-like serial killer I'll be sure to hit them up.

>By now, you will have noticed the chains attached to your wrists. This chain is attached to the person opposite you, separated by the device you see before you. In order for you to go free, you need something they have: a key, on the opposite wall. However, the chain is only long enough to reach if one of you places your hands into the device in the centre. If one gets the keys and unlocks the clasp just inside the meat grinder, then both will go free.

>You must choose who will sacrifice their hands to save you both. Alternatively, you could destroy one another, guaranteeing a slow, painful death inside this room as you bleed from your mangled arms. Will you repeat the same mistakes, or will you move beyond the selfishness that has come to define your lives? Choose quickly: the clock is ticking.

>>36046046
>I'm fairly sure that I'll meet comparable people if I get the gig working with offenders that I was thinking about.

I have no idea how I should react to this. Tell me more.

I liked the Saw movies, mostly for the story (I know, but I liked the Doom game, original, for the story too).

>>36045981
You need a good psychologist more than most of us in this thread, friend. I hope one day someone gives you the peace of mind you've given me today.

>>36046114
>You need a good psychologist more than most of us in this thread, friend.

Probably, but I have one. I do 2 to 3 hours of therapy a week and study this shit almost daily.

I'm not sure there's much hope left for me. I've lost everything that mattered to me.

That's why I'm here every night.

I am happy I was able to do something for you. I won't forget you.

>I'm off to the shower now

>>36046108
Try the sixth one, if you haven't already. At its core is a criticism of the American medical model which is nice.

As regards the offender thing, it would be with a view to helping them to get their lives back on track once they leave confinement.

>>36046143
If you've taught me anything today is theres always hope. Even in the deepest pits of apathy and despair. I'll jump in your threads every so often just to say hi. A reminder you're doing the right thing and really help people

>>36046288
>As regards the offender thing, it would be with a view to helping them to get their lives back on track once they leave confinement.

I can see you doing this. Actually.

I've seen all Saw films, back in 2010.

>>36046340

I'm ever so glad you tried. Remember, had you not decided to post, nothing would have happened. You did more than I did.

>>36046288
>As regards the offender thing, it would be with a view to helping them to get their lives back on track once they leave confinement.

Are you a warden?

>>36047126
Still not going to tell you. It's more fun not to.

>>36047152

I know, right...

Are you English?

>>36047226
I am indeed English. Why do you ask?

>>36047314

I thought you were. I've spent some time in Kent. Very cosy place.

>>36047363
Yes, we have a lot of beautiful countryside but also very little sunshine. Just as well really: too much heat is stifling.

>>36047402

Too wet and humid for me, I think. Your weather changes its mind like it has BPD, too.

>>36047454
I keep wondering about Canada. Fewer people, colder too of course. A culture of politeness. Could be good.

>>36047504

Canadians are cool.

>>36047363
hey nick i'm curios now, i don't know if you want to answer me but... where are you from? if you don't want to say it tell me at least your timezone

>>36047561

It's no secret, don't worry. I'm from Switzerland I live there.

>>36047626
maaan you're close to me, I live in Italy (milan)
it's 1:30 hour from the border

>>36042249
What about you nick? Have you made progress since trying to get help? You are in your 30's i remember, so it must have not degenerated too far of you are still lucid. All of the people I've heard of doing super badly were fried by their 30's.

>>36047647

And I'm technically from there! Original father is Italian. Italy considers me a citizen. Ciao bello!

>>36047653

I have. I understand way more, I see more clearly, I have been able to mourn my parents very well, the fight goes on, and given my circumstances, I'm handling it like a champ.

Sometimes I'm suicidal, sometimes I'm euphoric, and sometimes I have crying spells. I also faint sometimes but that's more rare.

I'm functional. I'm just INTENSE. Most people really like me.

>>36047724
That's good. The one I'm here on behalf of feels better since treatment too. Though for them treatment is more education, exercise, meditation, philosophy, theology, and time with me. He didn't find that the whole talk therapy thing was all that helpful, he likes his current therapist who !mostly treats him equal like a peer to help his confidence because he feels that's what he can do.

>>36047793
>The one I'm here on behalf of

Say what?

>>36047812
I'm speaking for/of someone else. I'm their significant other.

>>36047869

Someone who comes to this thread?

>>36047897
no, but they are in the room with me and know I'm posting as I am.

>>36040635
I hear people talking about me all the time. Neighbors, roommates, strangers outside my windows. They talk about every little thing I do or dont do. The thing is i lnow they arent real, but they never shit up and they always distract me. Sometimes its like they put a thought or image in my head and no matter how hard i try it stays there for hours endlessly repeating. They dostract me at work, keep me up at night, and just wear me down all the time
Occasionally they help me solve or find something tho so they arent the worse

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>>36047696
tfw prima o poi conoscerai nick

>>36047928

OK. Cool beans.

>>36047929

That's a pretty clear disorder but I forget which one. I'll try to find it.

>>36047958
>prima o poi conoscerai

My Italian is not that good.

>>36047929

Try this, report back:

http://mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/schizoaffective-disorder/#.WOVJ3zuGOM8

>>36048025
>>prima o poi conoscerai
>sometime you will meet

>28 unique posters
>nearly 300 replies
>this cuck is back at it again giving retarded advice
>even brought his trip friends along so his amazing thread does not 404

>>36048132

Go easy on the butthurt, if narcs hang around here, they'll feed off you and toss your salad like your asshole is oozing with peanut butter (chunky edition).

Nobody here thinks the advice is retarded, you're just jealous you can't give comparable advice.

>his trip friends

Because anyone who uses a name or a trip is someone I brought along, eh? You can't possibly imagine a thread so interesting that people come to it regularly, can you?

Too bad, but your problem.

Now consider the fact that you literally could have saved yourself some time by not posting at all; ask yourself why you did.

>>36048132
Jot your personal information down and I'll pencil you in for a cheeky rape so you don't get bored

>>36048092
The mood swings are spot on to a t. Sometimes im on top of the worls and can so anything. Other times its a mess. Ive been in a bad swing for a while now, havent been eating more than a few peaces of bread and some water every day for over a month now. I wont go out to the store, no one stops talking about me in my head. Ive been too afraid to order delivery because then my 'neighbors' will make fun of me for it. How can i deal with this?

>>36048203

And he means that literally.

>>36048216
>How can i deal with this?

You call a psychiatrist's office as soon as you can. I'm very serious. You're living something very extreme and you must not stay alone in it.

>>36048275
Okay its hard to talk on the phone at home. There is a nature trail in some woods nearby that i have to drive to kf i need to make a phone call. I just cant talk on the phone when there are people arojnd. Last time i was there i think i heard a twig snap and it freaked me out so i hungup and drove away as fast as i could. I saw a psychiatrist when i was young. It was weird, i coildnt talk to him. I lied about everything. Friends, hobbies, school, i dodnt even want to or mean to. And having conversations is hard, sometimes all i can mamage is to repeat what the other person said and hope hope the conversation doesnt die there

>>36048387

Write this on a piece of paper beforehand. It's vital that you tell your next psychiatrist the truth.

Man, trust me, you don't want to remain a prisoner to your own mind.

These are delusions. Nobody is spying on you.

Will you call a psychiatrist?

Are you American?

>>36048486
I'll try and call. Maybe it'll be easier when my mood swings around again? Idunno tho its probably too expensive to be a realistic option. Yes i am american

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>>36040635
HI ORIIIIIII
BIC RELATED

>>36048547

https://www.psychologytoday.com/

Try this, find a psychiatrist.

Man, I really hope you can afford it. I don't know how your system works, but you need this shit like anyone needs a hole in their butt.

>>36048568

Sup.


orngirngirnginrignrgr

>>36048585
What's your opinion of c-ptsd. He feels like he has it, checks a lot of boxes. for one hyper vigilance, the inability to relax, severe fear of the dark, severe fear of abandonment, and frequent anxiety. He tried emdr self administered but with me present for support, trained himself because he isn't comfortable with professionals on that level. He felt like it helped, but like it was stressful like fighting an intense battle. His best friend just died weeks ago and he doesn't feel ready for more emdr, he wonders if its necessary to clear blockages, or if they can be worked on indirectly and more gradually.

>>36048856

I think I my have CPTSD myself. I scored 35/50 on the test provided in the OP.

Do I know this person you speak of at all? From the thread, I mean.

I have a really complex problem and I'm not even sure where to start. It's actually really simple but hard to explain.

I hate every day. :(

>>36048931
No he just lurked.

>>36048184

Because I lurk in between matches and I think you're a nigger.

>the trips and name fags that specifically congregate in your thread
>the trips that I have seen pretty much only in your shitty threads
>the trips (including you) that post every fucking minute in the thread that only has 30 unique posters
>nobody thinks the advice is retarded here on my thread in /r9k/, a board filled with retards
>have fun handing out your hollow meme advice
>just like you used to do when you posted on /fit/ and eventually here trying to give fitness advice

Is Maladaptive Daydreaming a thing?