How do I stop being so apathetic?

>>36035203
Anhedonia - desu sounds like a byproduct of depression birthed by a failure to reach the expectations sparked by your talent level

>>36035203
>>Then I fucked myself
Kinda vague. Fucked yourself in what way?

Suicide.

t. Someone with pretty much the same story and lived with the apathy for 8 years

>>36035253
I stopped going to a lot of HS classes and doing work. I quit all my extracurricular shit, including an internship.

I don't see the point in doing anything.

>>36035203
sick blog dude, where's the upvote function

Starting is the hardest part. Once you get into a routine, continuing to do work is much easier.

Obviously that's easier said than done, so my biggest advice is to commit to something that you can't back out of. For example, I've been procrastinating going to the gym forever so I paid for a personal training session. Now I'm fucking obligated to go whether I like it or not.

I have the same problem OP. My cognition ranges from a retarded baby with down syndrome to above average. I'm a skilled animator otherwise and have won awards but when my mood is fucked I simply can't do anything.

What I can say is give yourself some time to recover and focus on your health. You could also try a few different drugs like weed, mushrooms, ketamine, and LSD, to see if anything will improve your emotional health (there's been some interesting studies that show some amazing results with these compounds.)

Last resort: see a doctor and get on SSRIs. They don't always work out and the side effects can suck but for the lucky people whose brains are compatible with them you could go from robot to normie in one pill. Most of all: don't beat yourself up over this. A lot of creative people go through it.

>>36035357
Thanks. To be honest I wish my parents didn't have money. Seriously. At least I'd be forced to succeed as fucking up would have consequences. As of now, it really doesn't

>>36035437
I've been thinking of just taking 5g of mushrooms one night. Hopefully it would wake me the fuck up.

>>36035494
I've also heard good things about microdosing mushrooms. I know in silicon valley they are big on experimenting with drugs like that for productivity but I can't personally attest to the effects at microdoses.

>>36035553
I'll have to look into it - psychedelics may be what I truly need.

I just have no idea where to get them, though I could probably grow/make my own.

>>36035203
>be me
>got into pure math PhD at very prestigious school
>suddenly lose all interest in subject after a few months
>spend almost all of my time shitposting, practicing piano, working out, or watching tv shows in my bed
>drop out after 2 years of this

Now i have no job and find it hard to do much of anything or get up before noon

Is there any worse feeling then being shown a taste of having some kind of talent or success and then not being able to use it because of mental problems? It's like we're being messed with

>>36035969
I guess realizing your potential as well as your inability to act upon it is pretty depressing...

Amidst this pursuit of the grind, you became too self-aware at some point and had a true existential crisis.

To take your life back you need to reoccupy your consciousness. Refocus on the things that were at the forefront of your consciousness before then. But these things alone might not be enough now. You need to focus on someone else other than yourself.

>>36036027
>Feel like a failure
>Feel guilty for not living up to your potential
>Feel even more like shit
>Blame yourself
>Keep blaming yourself
>Keep imagining what you could be doing and feel even more like shit x 3
>RIP

>>36036138
Eerily accurate...

Thanks anon.