ITT: post the most retarded thing you've ever done
>be me
>bought some eggs to make some breaky
>one of the eggs was stuck in the carton
>try prying it out but nothing worked
>decide to flip carton over and shake it out
>a literal dozen of eggs instantly smash against the ground
>mfw the stuck egg was still in the carton
>>36023100
>Be me
>Read this thread
Definitely the most retarded thing I've done
>switch from /fit/ to /tv/
>be me
>driving to cabin four hours away
>decide to leave early to get there in the afternoon
>forgot to take morning shit but whatever
>two hours in I'm driving down gravel roads
>have to shit really bad
>decide to pull over and shit on side of road
>guy drives past me while I'm squatted behind car
>he stops and pulls over
>OShit.wmv
>start looking for toilet paper in trunk
>he gets out and starts approaching car still not seeing me
>yells "hello?"
>pull up pants quickly
>we talk and I explain I had to piss
>had to throw out underwear covered in shit
>shit got everywhere
>used almost the whole roll yet still smelt like shit the rest of the ride there
>jumped in lake the second I got there and washed all the shit off
Fml
>didn't shoot myself when I had access to a firearm
>escaped the noose before I passed out
>stepped back off the ledge when I had one foot over the edge
Should have done it, now I am suffering more than other
>jerked off inside the public library and got caught
>>36023819
I can't even pee in public why do you niggas put yourself through this
>>36023100
>In highschool
>In small class with only girls (including oneitis) and myself
>be sick for a while but still go to school to be a good boy
>cough really hard into my elbow, ~1lb of mucus comes out and stays between my mouth and arm
>whole class pauses and looks at me
>didnt want to pull my arm away and let them see the disaster
I ate it off my arm.
They all saw.
>>36023956
That's revolting anon, jeez
>>36023956
I want to believe this is fake but I know its not. Good lord anon
>tried to hit on a talll girl
>"hey how tall are you?"
>awkward silence followed by her literally running to her friends
shouldnt have even tried it im gross
>>36024419
Fuck man that's shitty
>>36023956
Damn. Only just reading this hurts,
>>36023956
That's simultaneously the most retarded and most poetically beautiful statement I've read in a while
>>36023956
Reading this just make me feel better about myself. I'm not completely hopeless.
>>36023956
I would honestly be proud that I coughed up that much mucus. I would marvel at it. I find stuff like that cool.
https://discord.gg/d4qrU4v
more feels
>>36023273
He was trying to catch you for a giggle.
i gave some random guy access to my bank account under the guise of getting sugar daddy money from him
ended up losing like a grand