Feels thread

>>36008973
Happy birthday anon. Originally

>>36009088
Thanks, sick dubs!

>>36008973

Happy birthday, Anon!

>tfw was in the Gifted and Talented program when I was 6
>tfw second grade teacher wanted to skip me to fifth
>tfw had to transfer school districts after my parents got divorced out of the blue
>tfw everyone at new school hated me
>tfw teachers should I was in a gang because I came from an urban district, despite being only eight years old
>tfw interest in academia went down the drain
>tfw spent all my days reading books and dodging class
>tfw scored at or above the 99th percentile on two sub-sections of the ACT without preparation
>tfw principal came out to me to congratulate me despite hardly knowing me

>tfw graduated with a 2.73 GPA
>tfw didn't try hard in high school because I was bullied into the ground and nobody cared
>tfw had to go to community college for two years before transferring to a decent university

>tfw 23 years old
>tfw still have three semesters to go until I finally graduate

>tfw the normies ruined my potential by being mean to me for no fucking reason

>>36008973
Happy birthday anon. I would contribute but I have to go to sleep.

Good night /r9k/. And in case I don't wake up, I love all of you cunts, even the normies.

>>36008973
Happy birthday anon.
When I was 8 i had my first birthday party and noone came.
I feel you

Happy birthday, OP. If it's any consolation, celebrating birthdays isn't that big of a deal. If you're not a normalfag, you'll probably only have one or two small parties of note in your memory. All I remember is a yellow jacket.

I feel lost. I don't enjoy things as much as I used to, but otherwise things are passable. Venting is unproductive, so I avoid it, but I can tell when something's wrong. My experience is very obviously different from those around me, but how do I handle it? Just pretend like all is fine? Even if I do fix it, I won't just go back to being like them. Before everything changed, I fit the 4chan stereotype pretty well. Now I'm totally adrift.

I don't know. I'm different, but not happy. I could create the greatest artistic piece of whatever, and it still wouldn't measure up to how it felt having friends, or how it might feel being in love.

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happy birthday OP.
my family has always done something small for my birthday, but i've never had any friends over. never had a gf either, and i don't currently have any friends at all. i didn't even go out drinking on my 21st

I miss out on so much in life, and always blame it on depression, when really I'm just a lazy coward. I lost all my friends, failed all my classes and my parents have given up on me. I want to just lay in bed all day waiting to die, but I can't.

>>36008973
Happy Birthday. Maybe try to do something special for yourself tonight, you deserve it.

It has gotten to the point I don't even notice when my birthday comes.

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Can we get some feels photos and feely songs in here?

>>36008973
Happy birthday anon!

>>36009167
Hey anon

>tfw I figured out I didn't have to do homework in middle school because I would pass the classes just by merit of my test scores
>don't ever start doing homework again
>drop out senior year with a 1.79 GPA
>aced all AP exams
>got GED
>had to go to community college for 2 years too before going to a decent university

all the time I got to spend not doing work was worth it desu

>>36008973
Happy birthday OP!

>tfw you start to loathe the very concept of existence

Why is this world we find ourselves in such shit? I don't deny that good things exist, but they're outnumbered by the bad things.

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>constantly feel like i'm "floating" above conversations i have
>feel like an outside observer in my own life
>feel like i have no control over my self and body, autopiloting life
>girl i talk to has lost interest but won't admit it yet
>desperate need to depend on people but at the same time an incessant need to avoid social situations which would put me in large social groups

>>36009346

I could have gotten a full ride to the University of Michigan if I'd had a GPA over 3.00. Instead I had to go to Lansing Community College for two years before transferring to Michigan State.

I'd rather have tried harder in high school and built some good study habits, to be honest.

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>>36009167
Man, sucks how quickly things can be derailed. I can understand resentment for normies, for sure.

>>36009232
Oh man, that's worse than no party, I think. At least there's been hope in the back or my head that *maybe* people would have shown up, though I'd have likely been in your shoes

>>36009263
Sounds lonely buddy, sorry things are the way that they are

>>36009375
>>constantly feel like i'm "floating" above conversations i have
>>feel like an outside observer in my own life
I know your pain. It's like I'm not in the actual reality anymore, just acting out my idea of what's fitting in my head.

>>36009344
Nujabes brings me peace

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJnqr5sm7-s

>>36009422
>>36009375

That must be a strange way to live, do you think it's better than feeling stuck in your body and depressed? Sort of like choosing between feeling no things and bad things?

>>36009375
>>constantly feel like i'm "floating" above conversations i have
>>feel like an outside observer in my own life
>>feel like i have no control over my self and body, autopiloting life

I'm glad this isn't just me

I feel barely conscious sometimes. I'm not sure if all people are like this and I'm just more aware of it due to heavy introspection or if there's actually something wrong with me.

>>36009375
>>36009422
>>36009541
>tfw you sometimes lose track of what happens in dreams and what happens in real life
Real life feels foggy and boring, dreams are foggy and less boring

>>36009522
>do you think it's better than feeling stuck in your body and depressed?
I would say there is no physical state of consciousness in which i would be less content than this one
Feeling depressed almost seems underrated when you stop feeling altogether

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>>36008973
Happy birthday

I've sort of lost track of reality, I'm about to graduate and I have no desire to do anything. I turned down a 70k a year job offer cause I couldn't stand the thought of being stuck behind a desk. Haven't done any work on my end of term senior project due in 6 weeks. I get drunk/high 3 or 4 days a week. I feel mildly sick/tired 24/7.

What's happening to me robots? Where did it all go wrong?

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>>36009522
I don't know, they're not exactly comparable, and I haven't experienced both. This "floating" sensation isn't really that bad, but it very obviously feels wrong. The scary part about apathy is that it balances itself out quickly, and you can spend years in such a state if it doesn't grow worse. Kind of like pic related, actually.

However, level of apathy also varies. Mine is comparatively mild and functional with Anhedonia, while the other anons in this thread seem to have severe cases.

>>36009586
I haven't noticed that, I'll pay some more attention tonight.

>tfw no friends
>tfw no-one is hiring despite having a skill
>tfw conversations all seem the same
>tfw boring
>tfw took up chain-smoking again
>tfw real-life seems like a blur

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I was feeling pretty okay over the weekend but today was one of the worst days I've had in a while.

Probably won't get better for a while...

>>36008973
Happy birthday anon!
As long as there's a new day and you're still here, there's the potential to find happiness!

>>36009743
You are right, thank you. I try to keep a glimmer of optimism, even though it feels my life isn't going anywhere at the moment

>>36009344
Women don't come back irl

>tfw everytime I go out people ask if I'm okay, but I'm not particularly sad
>tfw people probably think I'm miserable 24/7

I guess what's normal for me is not normal for them, idk. I don't want to be a downer, so I usually tend not to go to big things because I guess I look sad when I'm not distracted.