Who else /tfw/ Which feels are you feeling tonight? Tell us about it

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>>35988670
I'm in a relationship but it's a boy and I'm not gay and idk what to do. Physical attention is good but not from a human with stubbleeee

I was masturbating and while i was cumming i felt bad bad no gf feels so that ruined the whole thing for me

i just want intinmacy and someone who cares

i feel like i wanna die just for attention. i want to feel bad till someone feels sorry for me and i cant fix it because the better i get the equally worse i feel at the end of the night because the self pity always catches back up to me

>tfw exam tomorrow

I don't even know why I keep bothering desu, I've been going to school for 5 years and am still years away from getting a shitty non-STEM degree. I don't know why I thought university was a good idea. I was shitty in high school too.

>>35988695
end the relationsship
>>35988699
get a gf
>>35988801
who cares
>>35988817
drop out

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I'm feeling... weird... gross... and confused.
I was feeling so fucking good before.
September of last year I started exercising, eating right.. I lost 50lbs and am a healthy weight again for the first time in several years and just about 15 lbs or so away from being "skinny" again for the first time since I was like, 5-6 yrs old.
A few days ago something went wrong.. I just feel... dead. Nothing is distracting me like it's supposed to.. everything is empty.. everything is meaningless
Im keeping up with my routine though.. and I can manage to feel good for a few minutes every so often..
I keep thinking maybe I'm eating the wrong thing.. or not getting enough sleep.. or something...

I can't stop thinking about a girl. I spent the night at her apartment once and she spooned me to sleep. It was one of the happiest moments of my life. She doesn't want to be with me, but I still can't stop thinking about her every day. The way she pulled me in close and held me tight. I felt so loved. So safe.

>>35988873

Maybe you've fixed all your routines and now you need a greater purpose and meaning..?
Like, you've sorted your day to day, now you need to sort your year to year?
What do you do for a living?

>>35988883
why are you here? we dont want your kind on this board fuck off

>>35988918

Why? I'm lonely and can't find a gf..

>>35988901
nothing
my life is a fucking wreck
I'm afraid you may be correct
and I'm afraid because I have no fucking idea how to fix the big problems
I took control of the small things I had control of.. but everything outside of the small little world of my apartment... I don't know that I have the strength for it yet.. I fucked it all up so much.
I feel like a little kid who needs an adult to tell me what the fuck to do, but I'm supposed to be an adult now and I only get one life.. I can't fuck it up anymore.

>>35988941
so fucking what shitlicker. You've touched a girl. That makes you a cunting normalfag

>>35988951
iktf to be desu
went on a whole self improvement kick
great I "improved" a lot of metrics and now I just want to sink to the bottom of my tub and start swallowing water.

>>35988670
I feel empty, lost I should say, I can't find a reason to exist, sometimes I feel this sensation of emptiness, everything is a joke a big and unfunny joke, a joke that run our lives, run our feelings our desires, I hate this feeling, but why should I care, in a couple of minutes I will be as sleeping and in the next 8 or 9 hours this feeling will be gone and i will be happy again, living in the joke

>>35988670
either got banned or the server is bugging out on a fps I usually play on to pass the time. was going to shitpost here for a while but I forget how big of a shit hole this placed turned into so probably just going to jerk off and take a shower. at least I start my new job next week. got a security job at a casino should be fun. /blog

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>>35988951>>35988993

There is always the option of letting go of the past:
delete numbers from your phone, move to a new city, join new clubs to make a new group of friends.
Reset your life situation.

Watch documentaries about the world. Find topics that stir up your heart.
https://www.diygenius.com/mind-expanding-documentaries/

Learn some mythology to apply to your search for meaning:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RCtSsxhb2Q

>If you keep doing what you've been doing, you'll keep getting what you've been getting.

Maybe try some hard drugs off the darknet, I find the always help me put things in perspective

>>35989037
>There is always the option of letting go of the past:
>delete numbers from your phone
about 5 years ago I stopped texting/calling everyone I thought was my friend and they didn't even notice.. so that parts done.

>move to a new city
I really would love to, but I have no idea which one, and I have no money, and my family is a ball and chain of love around my neck that are going to be really difficult to drag farther away.

>join new clubs to make a new group of friends
I've considered this.. it's getting past the consideration phase that's tricky for me

>Watch documentaries about the world. Find topics that stir up your heart.
everything stirs my heart, I just don't know how to invest myself into anything. I feel like other people have some quality that allows them to do things that they take for granted that everyone else possesses.. it all just confuses me.

>If you keep doing what you've been doing, you'll keep getting what you've been getting.
>Maybe try some hard drugs off the darknet, I find the always help me put things in perspective

I've done all kinds of shit, and I always keep getting the same me
drugs expanded my mind, but having more of me to fill up with confused listless indecision hasn't really helped me much.

Normie here, but I'll go

I don't have a long-term career plan and feel like I've never matured. I have a girlfriend who's wonderful but I keep fucking up with her and making her hate me more and more, and I'm pretty sure she'll break up with me soon. My best friends from high school are almost all in different parts of the continent and we only really see each other every few months. I've slowly drifted away from my regular uni and high school friends to the point where I only see any of them every few weeks at best. I've slowly drifted from my family too, only seeing them for about half a day each week.

I'm lonely. I realize something is wrong with me because too often I'm angry at myself, angry at the world, angry at whoever happens to be with me, and I end up acting like a massive, hurtful asshole.

I just want to be kind and to sleep soundly at night. I want to stop feeling like something is profoundly wrong with my life.

>tfw slowly losing my mind

>have been laying in bed making noises and sperging out for hours

>>35989147
I don't know how to help you but I will say that you should probably tell your girlfriend this kind of shit, if you havn't been already.
For one thing, that's kind of what she's there for, so maybe it will help you feel less "alone" while dealing with your feelings.
For another, it might give her more perspective on why you're fucking up with her.

>>35989037
>just move to another city lmao all your problems will be gone there
great advice normie thanks

>>35989037
>that image
ok.. so what then?
so you "dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing"... so you "open up to the possibility that everything you know is wrong"...
so basically you get ripped away from the hive mind like fucking neo in the matrix.. but unlike a movie, you don't have a bunch of people waiting for you who will help you out and explain "the truth".. instead you get flushed down a toilet and land in the sewer of true "reality" and you have to try and stay afloat all on your own.
you can't reconnect without seeing how fake everything is, and you can't try and be "sane" because everyone will call you crazy. you can't even get therapy because if you try and explain what's REALLY happening, they will dismiss it as some drug-induced psychosis bullshit.

so what then?
maybe you feel superior for a while because you know "the truth", but how long will that last you?
you end up spending the rest of your life feeling alone, surrounded by the blind/deaf/stupid.

sure is a great life out here on the edge with all this useless fucking perspective.

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>>35989305
You see the truth of society...
And you also see the truth inside yourself.
The illusions that maintain your pathetic live are seen through and found to be hollow.
You are suddenly empowered to be different in a life affirming and improving way.
You let go the the false beliefs that held you still and you finally move forward in your life, in directions you never dreamed possible.

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>>35989147
meditate
youtube 10 minute mindfulness
It is pure distilled mind medicine

>>35988670
I wish I could go back to elementary school and be a kid again. Back to when everything was simple. More than anything I miss
when I had friends and my only worry in life was doing my homework. Nothing hurts more than realizing you will never be able to go back.

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>>35988670
>tfw coming to grips that I'm a drug addict porn addict hiki
>tfw so lonely it hurts
>tfw havent touched another human in months
>tfw won't financially make it to the end of the month

I want to end this nightmare.

Qt boy I met and was getting close with/going to date randomly started being anti gay and spouting about his destiny to have a perfect wife etc.
School is awful and I've left for a year
Getting sued because some spic I rear ended a year ago decided to
Tbh I'm basically just planning on killing myself now

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>tfw getting sick of /r9k/
>tfw hating it more and more everyday
>tfw it's always the same threads with the same bullshit
>tfw this board only ever has three topics anymore: dicks, women, or shitposting
>tfw whenever you come here you just get irrationally mad over all the bullshit you see

>>35988670
I'm feeling the lack of feelings and I hate it more than anything
It makes me want to d-d-d-die

>>35988801

I know that feel bro. Having people go "yeah, we should have known" is one of the positive things about suicide in my case and it serves as an excuse for me being a loser in real life.

>>35989809

Not him, but how is that supposed to help?
Trying to escape my thoughts about despair and a desire for death that I cannot fullfil is the thing that's driving me insane in the first place. How could I sit still for 10 minutes it would only make things worse I am seriously getting angry awdhiawdhio awdhioawhio

>don't do an essay
>use the class's "late coupon for an extra week
>still don't do it
>halfway done with another essay due tomorrow
>probably won't do it but it's philosophy so maybe I will
>failing my psyche class
>still haven't bought the book
>don't study
>love and am interested by all my classes
>permanently devoid of energy so never put in the work required
>lay on bed and sleep/rest/browse as much as possible
>stay up until 3 or later every night doing nothing
>my degree is a meme field that I'm only taking because it's the only field I could imagine working in, and the only reason I'm in college at all is so my parents don't kick me out
>they say i need to get a job
>too lazy and tired to get one, start filling out online applications and taper off halfway through
>will probably still get kicked out
>life is going nowhere

At least my music is getting a lot better
>will never be anywhere near good enough to get big enough to survive off of

Well maybe it will someday, but I doubt it will in time

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Fell into psychotic depression since the last few years without a clear cut beginning and it's especially difficult to feign self-identity from all the scraps and phases, hard to piece together what was inevitable and what was simply some discursive mental illness, what was typical of my age and how long this will all go on for. It doesn't seem like culture gives a lot of answers, because after psychic remission no one wants to look back for even a second and those 'in it' only add fuel to the fire of your private death cults which start out as some mutual hunches and phobias and then altogether lead to your 'schools of thought', collective complexes and whatever else can be used to gradually alienate yourself from the already alienated and which is so much of the material we see online. If America is a massive free speech project intent to procedurally and democratically inform everyone to ever increasing levels of agreed surety the internet is the elite four except you're always just coming from Pallet and you're training to be Lance for some reason. People like talking to 4chan like it consists of a few casual friends and isn't tens of thousands of people at once, like holy fuck.

I've been floundering alone struggling to get 20/20 of the situation around me, the people I was born to be around and the future I originally drafted for myself. I would have killed myself several times over already if I didn't already know what happens in the next life for me. The motto is to always keep quiet, always shut up. Don't trust anyone.

>>35990162
in meditation, one doesn't escape their thoughts, they see through them.
One realises that the thoughts are not something they do, but something that happens to them.
>You are not your thoughts
What you experience while you watch the thoughts rise and fall away in your mind is that you don't control them, they just do their own thing, with your consent or not, with your intention or not.
One realises that one can never get ride of the thought, only that one can detach from them, let them float by without attaching to them
>I don't give a fuck, oh brain of mine, you won't convince me that these thought are my own
It is a new mode on being, a different default state of consciousness.
Try it, it's fun

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>>35988670
My gf told me she never loved me after leavings 3 1/2 year relationship. Feels pretty bad man.

>>35988670
>tfw lonely but I can understand why no one likes me
>tfw want to die, but waiting for better things to happen

>>35991583
>gf
KiII yourself, normaIfaggot.

>>35992855
Unironically debating it, my mom was a huge robot and my dad was a half chad. I'm a mix between cyborg and robot and I really wanna die.

>>35992876
I don't give a fuck about your parents, what's the point of your post? You know how another human being's skin feels, you can't possibly relate to robots here. Fuck off and stop coming to this board.

>>35988670
>tfw you don't like talking to people but you also want to talk to people but you are too autistic to hold a conversation for more than a minute

>>35992889
>>35988918

Wooweee babby got triggered.
Sure, people will close their tabs and leave a website when you tell them to.
How about you close it instead if you don't want to read certain things? Retard.

>>35992889
>he thinks that he's the only one who has it hard

Subjectively maybe you were dealt a shittier hand, doesn't mean people with a better hand are objectively living an easier life m8.

>>35989961
what is it you /l/ong for, anon

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>>35988670
>tfw just fapped
All my feels are gone. It's nice never leaving the house.

>>35993906
I don't think I quite understand the question

making social gains nice and slow. im a bit timid, any ideas how to lay off the edge?

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>tfw no Sophie Turner
Also cripling depression, no friends etc, but these are secondary

>try to sing a song I like
>sounds great in my head
>make the mistake of recording it
>out of key, off tempo, too soft, voice quavering, childish timbre

tfw voicelet

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1x5bmS3MtbI

>>35988670
>be me
>like a girl
>girl is busy so I usually cant talk to her
>the conversations we usually have make her happy
>tfw you dont know if good feel because you have succes or bad feel because no gf

>tfw meet a cute girl
>talk for a couple months and get to know her better
>she seems pretty interested
>I'm ready to ask her out
>find out she has a boyfriend

Not sure what to do now. I could try to cuck this guy, but IDK how that would go over. Should I be honest with her about how I feel, or should I just keep flirting with her like I have been?

>>35994455
Get hints on the status of them.

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>fall for the oneitis meme after being clean for almost 5 years
>for a girl who already has a boyfriend
She seems to like me too, but she's just a naturally cute and friendly person and I'm not delusional enough to think that I mean anything to her beyond that.

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>>35994341
Yeah, that was really bad.

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tfw pc keeps getting bluescreens
tfw too stupid to fix it

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>>35994341
Goddammit I know that feel

>>35988670
>tfw not a ceo of a successful tech company
>tfw any idea I come up with is quickly squandered by a google search
>tfw can't even get hired, neet for the past year since graduating

I don't know if anyone can relate

once again i waited too long to ask out someone interested in me, but when I think about it, I don't really want to deal with the anxiousness of how I look and how to treat her etc

who knows anymore, at this point if she doesn't insist I won't do shit

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After I got drunk and apparently told my parents over and over again that I want to kill myself (I can't remember anything), they changed.
When I woke up today, my father came into my room, hugged me and asked me how I felt. I think he was on the verge of tears. Later that day he just laid in my bed for three hours while I was on my pc. We just watched two episodes of Hibike S2 together and it was the most awkward shit, he probably wants to bond more with me or something.
I want this ride to fucking end, right now I don't even want to commit suicide, I just wish my parents would be happy again.

>>35988670
I met a female while playing overmeme a few days ago and she ended up adding me because she thought I was funny. Since then we played together a few times, and every time she seems to become more attached and complements me a lot / asks me to complement her. I thought it was bait at first because r9k convinced me that all females are out to be mean so i figured she was trying to meme me to her friends. After we played more and i started hanging out in her discord and talking to her friends, it seems like she's an even bigger robot than i am. Not like actual r9k robot, but robot like she has almost double the playtime and lives the neet lyfe.

Should I be taking this as a red flag? I'm way too autistic to deal with other people on this level and i'm fairly convinced at this point that she has genuine feels for me and isn't just memeing me. plus not gonna lie always having a healer to play with is pretty dope

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>recently moved half way across country for work
>comp breaks down within the first month
>can't replace parts, no money
>literally pay check to pay check
>wake up, go to work, come home, sleep was my entire week
>took a few days off due to my depression coming back
>fired

I can understand why, not complaining about that. Now I'm gonna be homeless in less than a month, own nothing of value, can barely eat.

Think it's time to end it bros.

>>35996122
Be happy that your dad puts in the effort to try and bond with you anon. :)

>finally realize im bisexual a few months ago, at age 25
>only been doing gay stuff to make up for lost time
>bought a bunch of sex toys including a dildo
>been masturbating with a younger twink via skype online
>finally been acting calm and confident at work
>a cute girl gives off heavy signs around me, hair flipping, smiling at me, standing close to me and "oh, I forgot what I was doing"
>she has a dweeb bf and they might break up soon
>gonna swoop in if they do
>but in the meantime planning to make a craigslist meetup with a guy this weekend
>gotta get this gay out, badly

Life's coming together for me in a really weird way.

Every thing I see or sense produces an entire world of unconscious and conscious thoughts, and it is really exhausting. Other people make it worse and maybe that's why I can't stand being around people.

>Still thinking about best friend who left me
>She was my best friend for months and I appreciated her friendship a lot
>One day she stops talking to me out of nowhere
>Ask her why, she tells me it was all fake and she doesn't actually care about me, she just likes making people feel like that
>All our mutual friends take her side and I get left by not only her but all of the other friends I liked a lot

>>35988670
>tfw can't bring myself to study for exams starting in 6 weeks because I lie to myself that I know all the material
The Last exams in February went great because ei can only revise if it's a week before
Jdimsa
Jk i'dont wanna die

>>35996898
I can kinda relate, Anon
>girl bestfriend
>end up dating for a long while
>unceremoniously dumps me
>lose all my friends, mutual or otherwise
I'm kinda scared of women now

>>35996898
really worried that i'm in between steps 3 and 4 on this atm, it would make a lot of sense if i were :(

>>35997086
Yeah, it made me afraid of making connections, be it girls or guys. She truly made me feel like she cared for me as a person, so she was probably the first person I've truly opened myself to. And that made it suck exponentially more.

I'm afraid that if I put that kind of trust into anyone again, they'll just hurt me as it has always been before and I'll just be worse off. Besides, there's no one left that cares much about me. I'm a background friend kind of person wherever I go, the kind of person that people are friendly to but wouldn't think much about if they disappeared.

>>35997322
Ask nicely what do they think of you. Try your best not to make it awkward, maybe ask playfully.

Don't worry too much, most people aren't like that, perhaps your friend isn't. My ex-best friend was just... a secret sociopath from my understanding, she always put on a nice and sweet front but under that she was unforgiving and only thought of people for their "value". She was hugely cold and calculating and admitted to it. Ironically I got to know her better when she dumped me, because she also stopped trying to look nice to me. From what I gather she became that way because she's been very hurt in the past herself.

>>35997326
Honestly after she dumped me, I started talking to an older girl who just blew me off after hanging out 4 times. So that definitely added insult to injury. What's the point in trusting if the people you gave it to, spat it back at you, y'know?

And apparently I am the same, I thought I was a frontline friend but the past year has told me otherwiese

>>35997503
Yeah, it's best to never put trust into someone until you've known them for at least 5-6 months I'd say. And even then I'm still careful.

I don't belong anywhere. Not among hipsters, not among gamers, not among jocks, not among stoners, not among meme shits, not among band kids, not among bookworms, not among metalheads, not among party kids, not even among robots. I'm just in between everything, no true place to call my own.

>>35997658

You belong with the special snowflakes. Tumblr.com.

>tfw something I wanted for a few weekends now availablefor purchase
I get an awesome deal but the only downside is that delivery could take up to two weeks

>tfw you spontaneously remember a feel that you feel like you used to feel but can't feel anymore
>a feel that feels indescribable, strange and alien but also familiar and comforting
>a feel that feels like it comes from a whole other world or a different state of mind which you could never feel as you are now
>and a moment later the memory begins to fade and you try to force your mind to hold onto it but it still manages to slip away and you're left unsure what you just remembered or if you even remembered anything at all, like maybe it was just your brain fucking up for a second
>tfw you will never see through the illusion

Please tell me I'm not alone.

>tfw no dick in my ass
should I rub one out to get it over with and draw or should I practice playing with my ass?

>>35996898
I felt you friend, I had a guy do that to me but we were sort of dating, he still talks to me and hints he has feelings I think he just is in the closet now.

My only friend who I play with online has recently started playing another game with other people and doesn't bother to invite me. I think he's going to stop playing with me soon and I'll have no happiness in my life again.

>>35996122
I wish my parents cared that much about me.

They just get mad at me when I tell them I want to kill myself.

>tfw paranoid again
He has cameras in my room. Or he can see my computer screen, I don't know. Maybe he just knows me too well, but still it's scary.

>>35998037
>tfw you spontaneously remember a feel that you feel like you used to feel but can't feel anymore
Simple nostalgia

>a feel that feels indescribable, strange and alien but also familiar and comforting
I felt this way in a dream once

>>35999593
check your mirror.

>>35999848
I did, found nothing. Still thank you for advice, this mirror is facing the wall now, just so I can be sure.

When I was younger I used to see animals around my neighborhood and get really angry. At first it was because so many neighborhood pets would tear up my project garden but I know its grown from there. I haven't hurt an animal in several weeks but today I lost it. Around three weeks ago I caught a cat eating a bird it killed from my feeder. I was angry but I restraiened myself. Then yesterday I saw the same cat eating another one of the birds at my feeder and i lost it. I captured it, which Ididnt think I could, and didnt know what to do with it. I kept it seculded where I live until a few hours ago when I decided to let it go. Right when it got to my window it lunged at the birds and I got angry. I was (and still am) drunk and decided it was cruel and would pay. I don't want to get into details but I then tortured then killed the cat. Ive have done things like this before. Please help, I want to stop.

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I'm feeling this particular feel today anon.

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>>35988670
My rational mind is fighting against feelings. I try to contain it but as soon as person shows interest in me, i become naive.

>>35988670
I feel good. The sweat that accumulated in my armpits smells good too

i cant meet a qt girl anywhere

>parents asked what i wanted for my birthday
>cant answer because i know i dont deserve anything
>dont want to say that either to not lose a free gift and let them know how bad my current situation is

what do i do?

>tfw people do things without asking me first

This guy I was into cut off like twelve inches of hair and it's like I'm not even talking to the same person anymore. I got really comfortable with him and then he went and made himself a completely different person.

>>35988670
It seems like more and more days are becoming struggles to stave off a part of myself that wants to decide life sucks and everything is shit. I don't have any hope to having a happy future, and I hate that I'm such a disappointment to my parents. But I continue half-assing college at a meandering pace while spending all my free time playing video games just to avoid my own thoughts. I'm too fucking lazy to properly clean my room anymore, and I'm growing more and more disgusted with myself. It's gotten to the point where hurting myself has become an effective tool in coping with the way I really feel.

Loneliness. I've got a two week "holiday" of which i've got nothing to do but twiddle my thumbs inside.

>>36000350
Make something up. If they ask, they think you deserve at least something.

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originalpizblooox

>>35988670
>tfw got a warning from my boss that i complain too much and if i don't do something about it then i will be fired and at the same time i just bought a new car

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another round of this shit

>>35988670

Just the typical "hate people around me, yet I fear being lonely" feels

>tfw drinking alone and having oven pizza for dinner again

the worst part is my flatmate is my ex-gf and she prefers to have her own dinner alone and talk to her sister on the phone instead of talk to me
lads i want to get back into getting /fit/ and doing something with my life again, how do i get back there
i just sit around being a lazy sack of shit all the time and i know it
I'm doing OK with university work and i don't think i'll fail but it's basically the only thing in my life at the moment.

I took my helium tank to the nearby forest but could not get the courage to end it, I walked back home and I'm soaking wet
I'm a coward
I already emptied all my HDDs and threw away most of my clothes

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tfw feels missing my ex bf while doing art listening to music and taking Valium
>will never not have a mental illness
>not a junkie i swear desu

>>36000406
>tfw i cut about 8 inches of hair off the other week after nearly 2 years of no haircuts
>i feel so free ad lightweight without hair blowing in my face
>i cant stop rubbing my hand over the back of my neck where it's super short
i mean, maybe you preferred him with long hair, but you have to understand the amazing feels that come with getting it cut after so long.
maybe you should look beyond his hairstyle and fall for his personality instead

>>36000564
why don't you do it in the bath
maybe when you're relaxed and in that kind of womb-like state you'll feel more like slipping away peacefully

>>36000435
not quite sure what to make up t b h
i already have almost every material item i want because i'm a spendthrift and anything i cant afford myself they wouldnt buy, yet if i ask for something like a simple dinner the materialistic side of me will not like it
i hate how shallow i am that i can only use material items to fill the gaps in me

>>35988670
I am 32 year old friendless kissless virgin, who lost my job recently, I have a bum liver from on and off again drinking problem and it's getting worse, I turned yellow. I will die alone very soon. Wasted life. However, I still partially blame quite a few people, and I think that is morally fair, as it's a 50/50 approach to reality and blame. My abusers were not perfect, as am I not perfect.

>>36000605
I agree but I live with my father, I don't want him to be the one to find me

>>36000657
someone's got to at some point
what if he found you all rotted and gross in the woods

maybe you should just tell him you want to kill yourself and see what he says. maybe he'll help you.

>>36000350
Just ask for anything New game? Clones? Just money?
GettIng you something Makes them happy

>>36000578
It's not that I only liked his hair, it's because he's just a different person almost. I feel like I'm starting over with him and I'm meeting a brand new person. It's really hard to deal with.

>>36000725
did he get some new-found confidence or something?

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>gf broke up with me two months ago
>got back on Tinder for the shits and giggles
>going on a date this weekend with a grill I've been chatting to last few days

Fuck I'm not sure what I'm doing but I'll play it by ear. I work long, isolated hours and miss having someone to love and love me

>>36000615
Ask them for a new pair of jeans. You can never have too many jeans.

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>held on too long hugging a girl I liked
>she was just being polite but I was clinging to her body as if for dear life
>just learned that back pats are a sign of being uncomfortable
>she was patting my back for more than 10 seconds
>didn't let go until she forced me off of her
>tfw I'm a hug rapist

>>36000752
I don't know. He just seems different, like today I got rolling on a topic and just started talking and it felt normal again at that point. I'm having a hard time getting back to the level of comfort I had with him.

>>35988670
>tfw loneIy and hopeless

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>tfw you put a broom handle up your ass in the heat of the moment while fapping, thinking it'll feel great
It didn't. I felt stupid. A broom handle up my ass, ass in the air, dick flaccid. It really made me reconsider some aspects of my life.

What the fuck was I thinking.

>>36000888
>10 seconds
That must have been really weird for her. But your actions are still understanable. And too fucking relatable.

>>36000888
get out of here ya normie
begone!

>>36000888
CHECKED!
Its okay to be a hug rapist with those digits senpaitachi.

>>36000700
>>36000830
i still have some time left to decide, but maybe i'll get them to pick out new clothes for me. my fashion sense has always been rather shitty
thanks anons

>>36000892
give it some time. he probably feels the same way. you can't rush things like that.

>>35997858
Fuck you. I've had too many assholes tell me to go somewhere else. The tumblr hoes don't like me either.

>>35996456
Hitchhike out to the country and live under the stars. Being able to see the stars fully changes you, makes you feel differently. There you are alone, and that light is crossing eons of distance and time just for yes, and you'll be one of the few who bothered to look up as thanks.

>>35988670
Fucking squirming in my bed in excitement, gonna suck my first dick tomorrow

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>>35988670
Who else /warfeels/?

>tfw you will never fight for your homeland
>tfw you will never cruise the german countryside in your T-34
>tfw you will never be able to drive a tank
>tfw you will never experience war as a soldier

Fucking hell. I would've taken the 1000 calories a day, the cold winters and the almost certainty of death just for that feeling of agency and meaning...And I goddam want to drive muh T-34.

I miss my friends, I hate feeling alone without them. I got clingy and they all left me because they felt weirded out that I got close to them online. Now I feel like an outcast after they told me to go away. Fuck I hate myself and wish they welcomed me back, I hate feeling alone.

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>>35988670
>quit every video game I played today 10 minutes in because I die and give up easily
>told my uncle I would visit him today but already in a shit mood and had three beers
>ate a whole bag of pita chips with hummus; carbs ahoy
>waiting for a game to install so I can quit it 10 minutes in
>lonely feel as always, no friends to hang out with
>younger brother (the successful one; the favorite) visiting
Every off-day is more hellish than the last, and worse than every work day.

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Feeling abandoned desu.
Don't know whether to be bitter or just let it go.

>>36002637
The agency and meaning wasn't what the starving and dying soldiers were thinking about anon, so you wouldn't have had those

>>35988670
I'm feeling exceptionally lonely today
I really wanted to sleep outside but then it rained
That annoyed me

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tfw friend is being a dick. Like a huge dick. Looking to start arguments, excluding me from stuff. Decide I've had enough. Send him a lengthy message on why he's being a dick, why i've had enough of it ask him where we can go from here etc. He replies with a lengthy message about how "Oh you're my best friend! :^) its just I've had a rough patch! :^) I'm really tired! :^) Just need some time! :^). What happens in the past stays in the past I wont let anything get in the way of us! :^). Tell him to explain why he was being a dick in the case of an event that happened today in particular.
>tfw message on read for last two hours.
>tfw sick of his shit.
>tfw sick of two faced taints.
>tfw considering turning all my other acquaintances on him.
>tfw I can destroy his will to live but am too nice to go through with it.
>tfw too used to being walked on to really care.

>>35993881
normies could at least be a little more modest with their "wah my gf is asking for sex all the time my life is so hard brahs" problems

>>35988670
Have been abused in every way (physical, emotional, sexual, verbal) throughout my childhood and odds are leaning pretty strongly towards me being physically abused for the rest of my life. It was bad before, got better and now it's getting bad again. I'm the most intelligent and talented person in my family by far and not a robot, but my mom set the bar for me way too high and has treated me like a worthless fucking disappointment my whole life.

I joined a cause I don't agree with. I know I'm expendable but I just don't care anymore. I feel as though the act of dying would be interesting.

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>gets fallout 3 on steam
>says that it's not compatible with windows 10
>freezes a lot when i'm playing

>>35989305
>t. a man who has taken psychedelics and now has "anxiety"

>>36003903
Nice Otto Dix.
I give that a 10

>>35990481
underrated rant, do you still see the therapy jew?

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hottest girl in class almost touched my dick today accidentally. I'm sorry, /r9k/ but i gtg. Ive achieved normie status

>>35998037
you're not alone
it's usually triggered by a smell, sound or similar for me but sometimes it's just a thought

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>>35988670
She cheated on me lads... just found out today

B-but, I'm better off without her, right?

>>35988670
Like shit as usual. Drinking with the normies at a bar, fucking hate my life. Just to and it please. Finally getting the balls to quit my.job soon, it's been too long putting up with the norman life, why should a loser like me work.

>>35989854
Hahahahahah only months, been 4 years for me. And no hugs from your dying mother don't count.

Tfw I have a 12 hour school day tomorrow, then the next day I have court at 7:45 in the morning and class till 8, then the next day I have a 12 hour school day and work till 2 or 3 in the morning. Plus I live an hour away from my school.

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I don't know how to get out of my own head. Almost every dumb thing I do can be attributed to over-analyzing situations and reacting based off of sudden emotions rather than collected ones. I find nice circles of people online but I start to get paranoid and wonder if I'm talking too much, or if I'm secretly hated by everyone there. I run away from all my problems because I get anxious and secretly want someone to come to my aid and pull me back in. I just want nice friends I feel comfortable around but instead I end up creating a room full of eyes and it's all due to my own insecurities. All these wonderful people I push away because of momentary fears. And despite all this I still allow myself to feel bad over not having friends when it's completely my own fault.

>>36004061
Leave. Just go, don't look back. It doesn't really matter when, just so long as you have it in your head that you won't be there forever, or even for a long time, and you make that goal achievable. Go stay with someone you trust, or get a job and save up for your own place. The most important thing for you to know is that they're wrong, you're worth just as much as any other human being on the fucking planet. They might be your family, but you have to escape them somehow. If you don't, they'll drag you down forever.

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>>36004171
Get Fallout: new Vegas, friend

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>>35988670
>tfw young enough to have grown up with technology but old enough for it to have not been perfected like today
>In childhood was told to suck it up, be alpha, don't make excuses for myself
>As the 90s turned into the 2000s in school, told not to stand up for myself and be "the better man"
>Get bullied but ignore it because I'm going to be a computer programmer when I grow up
>Go to college
>Realize the field I wanted to be in is an over-saturated mess
>Whites are now going extinct
>Constantly reminded that I'm the enemy, the bad guy
>Mfw the world I was promised vanished
>Mfw

>tfw don't like people
>tfw need people

>tfw afraid the girl I had sex with last friday who told me to meet up this friday might end up flaking and putting me into another year of no sex
>tfw whenever I'm starting to move on from ex she sends me a message ensuring I don't forget about her
>tfw my own feels belong to those normalfags I've despised and told to GTFO for more than three years
>tfw should GTFO but nowhere else to go

An alpha coworker is gonna fuck my oneitis and there is nothing I can do about it.

Tonight I'm thinking about being on the fat side. Not obese, but overweight. It could be worse. The thing is, I just keep self-sabotaging. It's partly because I like eating shit and have an alcohol addiction, but also because I joined a club and I just hate being told what to do.

>tfw 21 year old kissless virgin
>tfw you've somehow made it through three years of college without sex or even talking to a girl
>tfw you haven't had any friends since middle school
>tfw the last time a girl that wasn't a family member or a customer at work spoke to you was in 11th grade
>tfw you feel like your still 16, both mentally and sexually
>tfw you're getting to the age where some people from your high school are starting to get married, while you'll be lucky if you ever even have sex with a woman under 30
>tfw 5'9"
>tfw poor

The absolute state of me, lads

Tfw always in chronic back pain

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>tfw realize I no longer have enough control over my life to correct things
>tfw mom makes me get a job
>tfw when can't even motivate myself to play touhou
>tfw realize my previous "dreams" were either unrealistic or hastily created to fill out a essay.
>tfw no idea how to get experience to find what I want
Guess I'll start planning that suicide or buy a one way ticket to Siberia.

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>tfw career dreams are almost unattainable
>tfw watching my peers surpass me in every way
>drowning in coursework
>no notable accomplishments
>no friends
>no non-robot hobbies
>family is in a shit situation, about to be dependent on me

Every day I walk around and see people with all their friends, happy and getting closer to their dreams and goals. I just sit at the back and realize how badly I fucked up in the last few years. The worst part is knowing that I could've excelled, if I had only known what I know now. It fucking sucks seeing what life could've been, and knowing that you just barely missed it.

I still don't enjoy talking to people. I did once, but it's gone. Perhaps I was meant to be alone?

>>36000888
>picks them up and breaks their ribs

>>36005447
Sucks being human.

I feel inhuman

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>been talking to qt from class
>well rather she came up to me
>we've been talking for a bit
>added her on facebook
>told her we should talk more and hang out
>do neither
>because i'm both a beta and afraid of being emotionally close with people our fear of rejection
>sitting alone in my room, listening to the rain, posting on r9k

i least i got you guys
r-right?

>tfw the only time you danced with another human was at an eighth grade formal with another dude while how to save a life was playing
I want off this ride

>>36005447
>tfw you're caught in the cycle of the desire for isolation and the repercussions of it

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>tfw stupid, ugly, and autistic
Im gonna buy a gun tommorow fuck this gay earth

>>36010333
Speaking as someone who owns a gun it makes you fear it more.

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>>35988670
>met a girl who was actually interested in hanging out with me
>she was kinda shit tier in many ways, but then again, so am I
>she got a job
>she's now studying and has a job which means she no longer has time to hang out with me

Just cried in front of my friend while we were drunk because they love their mothers and i dont and they get girls and love while i dont

>Tfw the voices are back
There goes me sleeping haha

>tfw cant kill yourself untill dnd group finishes the campaign and its taking forever, plus the DM just made it open world

wtf I just want to die already

>>36010434
Tell me about the voices anon, it sounds interesting.

>>36010467
Why do they wear a mask?

>>36010497
Well, why do you think they wear a mask?
What kinds of masks do they wear?

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>tfw spending gaps between lectures sitting in a nearby church, thinking about existential dilemma, mysteries of the universe or just living in my own imaginary world
>tfw not even religious

>>35998037
I know this feel. A song usually triggers it for me. Feels nostalgic, but melancholy at the same time. And it feels like a place, and a time, but somehow in a feeling... It's weird

>>36010532
Lots of loyalty for a hired voice.

>>36010579
Heh, you didn't listen so good.

BANG

>>36010579
>>36010593
Anons, maybe he's just wondering why would anyone talk about voices before killing himself

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>tfw a junkie
>tfw living in a halfway house
>tfw going to relapse in a month
I don't believe life inherently has value. Life is worth living for 2 reasons: creation and destruction. If you're doing neither, there is no point in living just to live. I play music but I'm not creating anything. So I may as well choose destruction and be a drug addict. I didn't ask to be alive. I've been given so much and I reject all of it. I hate my personality.

>>36002637
I know this feel. I think warfare is despicable and human being exist to build a communal heaven on earth rather than a hell, and yet I can't escape the feeling that I was meant to see the terror of war, or that I was a soldier in a world war or Vietnam in my last life.

>>35988670
>tfw homeless and have to give away my cat because I can no longer afford to keep paying to have him at boarding and I can't see myself not being homeless any time soon (despite having a job and trying to save)
Feels awful man, he's my only true friend and I'm letting him down. I got him as a stray kitten and once again he'll be without an owner. I hope and pray he ends up somewhere nice and not with someone who is mean to him.

>>35988670
I want friends but I'm not sure if I'm equipped enough to handle maintaining friendship. I'm scared of growing apart from friends I don't even have yet, even though I think that's just the natural progression of life.

I also feel inadequate for being 19 and not having my license.

>>36010661
Don't relapse pls. What makes you hate your personality?

>>36010661
Brah i just got 3 years clean, 12 steps will change your life.

Bitch i don't even believe in a god and that shit still works. I pray to Tiw, the Anglo-Saxon god of war and justice, who I fully know doesn't exist, and boom, 3 years clean and, if you can believe it, totally ok with being alive.

I've been too anxious to sleep lately, until I'm dead tired.

>>36010710
do you have any responsible friends/family that could take care of him until you get back on your feet?

>tfw sadness strikes again after the talk to the one I love
I thought I got over this feeling, but now I can't eat and sleep properly again. Does it ever go away?

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>meet a girl
>have things in common
>can't keep up a kikebook conversation with her
>her interest in me dies down
Do normies talk to each other ALL THE TIME on social media? I'd love to but I just quickly run out of things to discuss really.

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>>35988670
>might get kicked out of my uni because GPA is below 2.0
>oneitis of four years is hanging out and talking to some dude a lot more recently

THINGS HAVE NEVER BEEN SO SWELL

I HAVE NEVER FELT SO WELL

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>update the media player I use to watch my shows
>new version sucks
>try to downgrade
>it breaks
>do a complete reinstall, delete fucking everything
>it's still broken
>having trouble breathing and it feels like my walls are closing in on me because of it
help me
i just wanted to watch my shows but the new version is so bad

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>in uni
>need internship for job opportunities after graduation
>interview at dream company
>sperg out
>just got my rejection letter

Just cuck my shit up, desu

>tfw nympho gf

I just want to sleep. It's not all its chocked up to be guys. I work at 8am, gotta be up at 6am and she doesn't give a shit how tired I am.

>>36011154
I know this feel anon.
I recently met a girl who I think agrees that we are perfect for one another, and yet I struggle to talk to her so much so that it kills any chance of a relationship

>>36010917
Have tried absolutely everyone I know :( my family lives in another country so they're out of the equation

>>35988670
I fucking hate my job but I can't quite cause I'm poor as fuck ...

It makes me so unhappy but I need the money.
Dont know what to do. ;_;

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>tfw can't sleep after taking sleep meds
>tfw Persona 5 is being delivered to my doorstep from Amazon tomorrow and I can't fucking wait
>tfw I'm a gerontophile and I want my straight friend's cock so bad that I can't stop masturbating to him and it's making it awkward to be around him he's 75
>tfw fired for almost 2 months now and no motivation to get a new job but money is running out and idk how I'm gonna pay my bills this month

>>36011337
Honestly I feel things worked better when there was no social media or texting and you were simply talking over the phone. You'd talk for an hour or two and get back to whatever else you were doing whereas now it's multitasking really which doesn't work for everyone.

I wish we could just hang out for like two or three times a week and don't talk in between.

>>36011444
>he's 75
lost

you robots are too much sometimes

I'm getting rejected from the most entry level jobs (fast food, trolley collection, entry level retail) and don't know what to do. I think I should study something more practical, but next intake is mid/next year and I don't know if I'll have the funds to survive that long.

I'm fucking scared.

>>36011444
Dubs and trips
Things are looking up

>>36011231
just get a really intense vibrator and hold it on her cunt while you sit on her and make her suck your dick. eventually she'll cum enough times that she falls asleep


t. also have nympho gf

>>36011469
What did he mean by this?

Oregano reagent

>>36011488
Nympho gfs sound awful

t. Prude

I want to get a job, stop living in my parents house, go to college and make money but my anxiety and fear won't let me do it so here I sit, waiting for my death the worse part is that I Know the solution to my problems but I'm too lazy to change my life.

>tfw struggle to fall asleep and to wake up
This thing is a huge deal for me. I can fix my sleep schedule for a few days but I immediately get out of phase with the rest of the world. Needing 12 hours of sleep to get fully rested doesn't help.

>>35988670
To everyone out there lonely:
Hugging somone; there's nothing more comforting and ensuring and an embrace from another human being. You wrap your arms around them and they pull you close, you can feel thier squeeze on you tighten and no matter who it's from, it always give you a warmth in your chest that lifts the spirit everytime, if only a little. When it's with somone you love, you can feel thier breathing as you hold them close, thier warmth breath against your ear. Thier hands rub your back gently, and you can feel thier fingertips savoring the feel of your shirt against your skin. You can smell thier hair, and thier neck is warm. If your still enough you can almost feel thier heat beat against your cheek. When they pull away you feel the loss. The warmth of another is beyond compare and the cold of thier absence turns into an ache.
This ache becomes a wound, then,in time, a scar..

My entire life is based on the expectations of others. I dont have any own goals, except getting any enjoyment at all and trying to be of any use for society.

I get all of my nice, happy feelings and moments from validation of others, be it in real life, online or even in video games/ in movies from NPCs and actors.

Ever since I left school years ago it has become worse and worse, I get more lonely and depressed year by year.

I fucked my leg up in an accident so I had to move back with my parents. My only human contact is with them, occasionally greeting our neighbours and texting/ skyping with my 4 old childhood friends every few weeks months. Other than that, I only sometimes have contact with other family memers. My mother works hours away on an island, living there and only visiting from time to time and since she is gone the family festives and visiting friends have become less and less bc my father is nearly as isolated as I am.

I dont know what to do with my life, sometimes I am content with myself but most of the time I flee into games, work or my works of imagination. From time to time I feel so alone and sad it physically hurts while I silently cringe in my bed, trying not to wake my father up.

I have no idea what to do with my life, years of changing ways, trying to improve, various doctors,, therapist and speaking with family members havent helped. The only reason I am still alive is that I wouldnt want to harm my parents, ggrandparents, aunt and my cousins by ending it, only living for the small gratifications I get and clinging to the occasional happiness in being drunk at parties just short of loss of control every few months and sometimes gaming, tv, movies and music.

I was born in a rich, sucessful family, my parents were always great and supporting, gave me decent health and body features and a high intellect, making it all worse knowing how bad I managed to fuck up despite perfect starting conditions.

She's the only person who ever cared about me, and she barely did. She's gone now. I need help and I don't know what to do. I guess I'll just keep texting her. It's been a year since last reply

>>35988670
I'm in love with this guy online but I'm 95% positive he only likes girls and all the attention he is giving me is just because he's lonely.

I was bored of my shitty life. Sold all my stuff and moved to another country. People is nice and girls arent pretentious fucks like in my own country. Feels pretty good. Im with a friend so im not alone and rent is cheap. Pretty much living better.

>>36011932
its also my fathers birthday today, I bought some flowers yesterday, made him breakfeast. My mother called this morning, his parents and his aunt will this evening. A neighbour will come by aswell as maybe a friend of my mother. Could be possible that some of my mothers family members will call/ text aswell. He bought some sweets for the guys at the office and will come home in the evening, eat with me, then read some stuff. watch some tv before going to bed. Repeat in the morning, us getting up, eating, him leaving first coming back 10-14 hours later, rest at weekends, I dont know how he does it, maybe he is as sad as I am and just hides it like I used to.

Ill try to get home early and try to cook something nice for him, second day of the semester and I already want to just rewatch movies Ive seen dozens of time already or sleep till my head hurts, just to get over to the next day.

Sometimes I wish I had no family so I could just end it.I think a lot about it, donating all the money that has piled up, killing myself after calling an ambulance so my organs can be put to use after my death.

In a few hours Ill go back to some emotionless state again, always friendly, always in the background, always helping if help is needed, learning or working while playing out fantasies in my head so my mind is occupied and doesnt come back to these thoughts.

It feels good to write it down, even if noone responds, just giving people the possibilty to read it, sharing this new breakdown, I feel better already.

I stopped crying, curling up in pain, unable to breath. My alarm goes again, time to take my medication, another hour till I have to leave the house.

>>35988670

>tfw don't know if girl likes me or not

she's so soft

I want to hold her but I think she's lesbian

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>>35988670
TFW one girl you re pursuing uses a terror attack as an excuse for a date and a second, much tougher and prettier one, comes basically on her knees asking for peen and moral support. A rare feel, but a good one.

Just realized i have an addiction both for porn and the internet.
Dont have the willpower to fix my horrible gpa in college, i barely do my hobbies (or anything at all) anymore, i dont see friends as often, i fuckinrg blew it with this girl because i could barely talk, and all of my days are being wasted on the internet more and more. I hardly even talk to my own family I am literally wasting my life away slowly turning into a neet because im too fucking lazy to make any real changes. Im so sick of this shit, i feel like im watching a car crash slowly happen and i cant do shit about it

>tfw oneitis would rather lose 350$ I owe her than ever see my again

>>35988670
>girl ive been talking to on and off for months and really liked got a bf last week and told me on friday
>on saturday was at a show with the love of my life and was reminded how much she hates me and never wants to see me again
>i have been coping with this all year by focusing my attention and feelings on this other girl, she is not perfect but she is beautiful and i really like her company and was able to distract myself

>now i have nothing in my life to cling to to hide from the pain of losing the only thing i ever truly cared about

>>35988670
>tfw go to the bars with freinds
>tfw when have fun time without anyone but friends
>tfw go back home but alone
>tfw when stoned and alone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xp6JfX7HxZ4

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>get number from a girl
>don't realize it until two days later because I was drunk and don't even remember it happening
>I text her telling her I just saw that her contact info was in my phone
>tfw she replies "stop"