Fear the anus

this is fucking terrifying

okay im eating healthier from now on fuck that shit looks painful

>>35975548

I geuinely hope that guy comes back on here. I spent a long fucking time writing all this shit up.

>>35975548
i'm not the guy You're looking for, but i've had some small fissures and occasional hemmorhoids.
That shit ruins lives.
Will look into your guide, thanks a lot.

Is it possible to band hemorrhoids by yourself? I have hemorrhoids which wont go away. Tried fiber and all that shit. I REALLY dont want to get my ass examined by a doctor, but otherwise im willing to do whatever is necessary to get rid of this

>>35976111
absolutely, just go ahead and start cutting up your own asshole, what could go wrong?

>>35976124

>band
>cutting

Wat. Isnt it just putting a thin, really tight rubber band around a hemorrhoid? Its external hemorrhoids btw.

I would have already done it if i wasnt scared of necrosis.

>>35975548
Appreciate the write up, this shit sounds fucking terrifying.

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What shoiuld a person do if she/he shoves a large champagne bottle up asshole, then suffers internal prolapse and pretend it doesnt exist for 2-4 years, completly repressing it?

Person piss very often due to pressure or something on bladder, internal anus keeps falling lower, when rising up and down chair, can feel inside colon of anus move around. Forced to use enema often to be able to poo, fingers in anus to dig out poo.

t.dont want to visit doctor

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>consume gallons of fiber
>still constipated all the time
>arsehole feels strained and tense all the time
>go to the doctor
>DUDE JUST MINOR FISSURE DUDE LMAO JUST DO SOME USELESS AS FUCK SUPPOSITORIES WHICH YOU'VE DONE 20 BILLION TIMES BEFORE LMAOKEKROLF
I went to several doctors and they're all fucking retards. I shit in the best of times once in three days, I also keep farting non-stop which forces me to hold the farts during working hours and further irritates the ass. What do? I'm about to fucking give up

How do I know if I have of fissure or if just wiped too hard?
They hurt a lot by themselves or just when you touch them?

Dont know what the fuck this is and never had this, but I eat healthy and jog and workout everyday so u should be doing that too you lazy little neets

This shit is fucking scary. What can one do to prevent this kind of anal disaster?

I had diarrhea and my shit came out liquid and yellow-ish so I went a doctor and she made blood tests ,said they were normal and gave me some stuff for the intestine flora
It's been a week and it calmed down but it's still yellow-ish and not hard when it normally was,should I go back to the doctor or it's just because I am still on the anti-diarrhea diet?

>>35975548

Went to the doctor a few days ago. The gastronomical doctor, or whatever the term is. I tell him I have been shitting blood for a while, months. It is bright red and sometimes its in the toilet or I wipe it. The doctor told me to eat more fiber and told me to get a 100mg stool softener. He also did advice I get a colonoscopy because there's that tiny chance it could be colon cancer. He was really bent on getting me that colonoscopy. He did not do a inspection of my anus, which I thought he would.

The only saving grace is my new job I've had a few good months has me walking around actually, my previous two jobs I was sitting seven hours a day.

The stool softener has helped, but I do have to lose weight, exercise and eat better.

>due to poor lifestyles

I got a really painful bleeding hemorrhoid because I was lifting too much weight at the gym.
When I was a fat fuck sitting for 16 hours a day, I never even got one.

>>35976279
Might be Helicobacter Pylori and antibiotics can take care of it. If they refuse to test you for it you gotta fake having stomach ulcers.

Anal fissures will generally heal on the own, especially with some easily applied cream. Unless you're absolutely trying to destroy your body.

Same with hemorrhoids.
>>35976315
You probably wiped too hard.
>>35976402
Not stick giant objects up your ass.
>>35976530
Watch what you eat, you might have IBS like me where you keep diarrhea often, or there is something wrong with the liver (but if she said its fine then its fine). Stop worrying.

>>35976530
I had problems like this and went to the hospital numerous times to no avail. When I finally saw a gastro specialist he did a colonoscopy and found nothing so he prescribed IBS medication.

I still sometimes have an upset stomach that gurgles a lot and yellow fluid that comes out with poops 6 years later. I think it's a bad gallbladder but it hasn't really affected me that much.

>>35976234
You need to see a doctor, it's not going to go away on its own. Doctors have seen much worse and and it's not like you will ever see them again after it's all done.

>>35976234
What the frick, arrrrhhhhhhhhhh make it stop

>>35975548
thanks random guy i really appreciate it :D

hopefully your effort won't be forgotten

Constipation has affected my life a lot more than I could have ever imagined, I shit once every 5 days and on the 3-4 day I am almost immobile from the fullness. If I don't want to have any hemorrhoids-feel bloated I have to eat kiwis, prunes, all bran and take laxative every day, which results in me trying to hold farts in and having an upset stomach 95% of the day. Bread and other stuff that makes your shit hard is basically forbidden.

>>35976234

Opee here...not sure if trolling or not but SEE A FUCKING DOCTOR.

>>35976111

I read stories about murribugers doing this and was honestly fucking flabberghasted they'd consider it. YOU RISK DEATH FROM INFECTION by doing it wrong. See a fucking doctor and have them banded properly if you must. It takes 4 minutes and I can't believe they'd actually charge you anything much. But given that you've got external hemmies then you may have to have them sliced off but that is, again, an in-office procedure mostly. Same advice SEE A DOCTOR.

>>35976279

You should read my fucking text dump. I literally have a section on how to get into a regular shitting habit.

For curing the actual fissure nitroglycerine cream. Deal with the headaches.

>>35976557

Good stuff that you can walk around now. You almost certainly have internal hemmaroids. Gentle shitting and kittens be upon you and they should sort themselves out. If you must get them dealt with consider asking for banding or, if they're really bad, ask for the THD procedure.

There is only the tiniest of tiny chances its colon cancer. Up to you if you want it investigated.

>>35976564

That's one way you can get them. I should alter my text dump to advise against squatting specifically.


Side note: A lot of niggers are talking about yellow liquid shitting etc. Sounds to me like y'all motherfuckers have IBS or something. Its not hemmaroids if it's not bright red blood, or you butt itching inside, or feeling a "full" feeling near anus, or all three.

Fissures just feel like you anus getting cut with glass when you drop one.

oh fucks sake, now something else for me to be paranoid about

>>35976234
lel ive seen you post in other threads

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>>35976279

Opee again because I feel for you:

If you're consuming "gallons" of fibre I assume you're imbibing LOTS of shit like metamuticil - i.e. powdery shit that you add water to and drink. if this is the case then you need to know you should be using about one soup spoon of that in a pint of water a day and THEN three litres of water throughout the day. If you use more than that then there's a chance you're just collecting very very thick gel-like waste in your colon because it's getting so little water added it it's effect on the bowel is like eating kilos of milk chocolate. You need a dollop of the shit and 50 times as much water. Take a fucking stool softener once a day as well for the time being.

And I seriously hope those suppositories are nitro because that shit is magic.

If you must shit bang some glycerin suppositories up there or dump a load of senna tablets down yourself with a tonne of water. One way or another all that WILL clear you out.

Your "strained and tense" arsehole is your inner spincter spasming because of the fissure.

Thanks for the info I actually have an internal hemi. I started eating much more fiber a while ago now and I'm not as constipated. I also exercise almost every day now. Gonna get it fixed at a doctor soon. Right now it's just a nuisance and not painful.

>not just squatting when you shit

I can't read the guide. It just says "Blocked" (?)

Can someone post it or summarize?

>>35975548
how does it feel to study assholes anon?

>>35977618
enjoy

>the porcelein smashing and cutting your thigh in half
>the toilet bolts coming loose and you falling and smashing your head
>the toilet seat coming loose and you falling and smashing your head

i used to squat to shit then i saw those pics of that chinese woman whos leg was sliced and i never did it again

>>35977462
Dude educate these NEETs. They don't understand how much hemorrhoids-constipation can fuck up your standard of living.

>>35977597
An internal band will probably sort you out. Should be super easy. Glad to know it helped.

>>35977618
This is by and large, a fucking meme. You shouldn't find it difficult to shit even on disgusting western piggu toilet if you're eating right.

>>35977673
It works for me, try pasting the link into a different browswer. Or I will upload it to another dump site if you give me one.

This is the most terrifying thread I've encounted on 4chan in many years

>>35977823
it is for education purposes

>>35977823
Never been to testicular torsion threads?

Mine were right in the ring due to blot clots brought on by birth control ring. The supptories cost a fortune because indian drug patent holders see the usa as a cash cow. Get some gold bond cream in the red tube and some hydrocrotozone cream for a dollar. Mix together and insert. I also use this before it flairs up. What really got me on the road to recovery was before I flaired too bad I put a charcoal capusule up there. I havent flaired in 3 months. I have been having outbreaks for 4 yrs.
I went to a free clinic for my first script, you may also want to try sams club. Plus members get huge savings.

>>35978107
I hide them immediately

>>35977706
i use a footstool so that my legs are still resting on something other than the toilet, should be fine, right?

>>35977597
Chick peas can help with healing. Charcoal helps with the acidity. Try them. I drink bentonite with a ton of water with phylis husk.

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>>35975869
even if he doesn't come back, you're doing a service for the community.

>>35975548
I am definitely fixing my diet. I hate being constipated and laxatives are a godsend along water. I'm also going to recommend PRUNE JUICE.

I think I tore my ass a while back from constipation but I'm done with those days.

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Anyone else's asshole starting to hurt reading this thread

>>35978211
Thankee.

You've made it feel worthwhile :)

>>35978257
No but it's hurting after your shit post. Asshole

>>35975548
I knew someone who was into fitness and still got hemorrhoids. No one is safe

>>35975548
Jesus fucking Christ that is terrifying.

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is that an anus in the op??

>>35975548
This was a noble thing for you to do

t. Fissurefag

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>>35975548
>tfw working in some manual labour job
>have to walk and stand instead of sitting around for 8 hours a day
>mfw I'll never have those kinds of fat neet problems

>>35978527
yeah you'll just be sore all over in a decade at the most

This thing scares me. I had perianal abcess an it hurt like hell I thought I am gonna die.

>>35978121
To piggyback a barrier cream "diaper rash" cream is key to healing. After the other post charcoal pills.
Everyone should read op report. I thought it was going to be a virus but its just text.

>>35976279

Fiber without a lot of liquid intake isn't gonna do shit. Fiber that comes out of a package or a pill isn't gonna do shit.

Literally all you idiots have to do to have 80% of your health issues disappear is to eat a healthy diet, drink enough water, and exercise. Boom, your life is suddenly improved to a incredible extent.

It's not that hard.

>>35978620
>I thought a text file on dumptext.com was going to be a virus

Is that you, grandma? How did you manage to get on the internet again?

I've got an issue where the outside of my arse (not inside) has a few small hard lumps under the skin, which I assume are hardened arteries, but they do not protrude out at all -- what happens, is that they occasionally become extremely itchy, at which point I scratch them, causing more pain. I medicate with a lidocaine/hemmaroid cream though which helps, but generally its just really fucking annoying. What do I have? I don't have anything internal, just a really itchy external; is it like the beginning stages? How do I make it go away?

I have dealt with all kinds of anal pain and other pains in the 15 years I've had this.

t. crohn's sufferer

I started getting hemorrhoids when i was in my mid teens. It took me about 5 years for me to finally get the courage to go see a doctor, cause i had reached a point where i literally couldn't push out shit anymore. He prescribed me three types of medications, ass pills, salve and fiber powder. Started using that shit religiously for weeks and it helped a lot. I went for an entire month without seeing any blood on the tissues after i wiped, and i could poop smoothly like i was a kid again.
Today i'm kinda sloppy with my meds and i do get to pay for that, but i'm better than i've been in years. Hemorrhoids is something that runs in my family so i'm gonna have to live with this for the rest of my life.

Here's some of my tips for dealing with this:
>First of all get your ass to the doctor. The checkup takes like 30 min and is really as unembarassing and professional as it gets. DO IT.
>Try shitting in a squatting position, i do this almost all the time nowdays (it works for the indians, right?)
>Put on the salve after a toilet session or at night before bed. The suppositories help too.
>Take fiber supplements
>Push the hemorrhoids back in after you take a shit

Good luck

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Why are human bodies so fucking frail and prone to breaking down every 5 seconds?
God already made me too ugly to ever experience a bliss of having a gf, can you at least leave me alone now, omnipotent nigger?

>>35976234

Why did you do this honestly. If you're a guy, it wouldnt give you any more statisfaction than a big dildo, if you're a girl then i dont understand why you would want anything in your ass since it doesnt do anything for women. Also, dont forget one guy one jar. You got off lucky.

LOL , i have a fissure right now .
i had a cream i had to put 5x a day on my anus.
done 2 tubes , that is like 2 months or so (docter said had to do it 14 weeks) .
i feel the pain right now almost non existence , but if i eat crap and my poo gets stuck , i will feel pain again.

there is no other choice than to go back and he will send me to get it stitched he said.

am i just afraid of that .

I don't give a shit about pain, at this point I had it for so long I got used to it, but I'm deathly scared of developing incontinence. There's nothing more humiliating that a self-shitting man, and how are you even supposed to work/function in such state. Would probably an hero if that ever comes to be

>>35975548
I have those and they are painful when in toilet. And they bleed. You most probably will get them if you let people anally fuck you too often or use some huge dildos. I did not, in my case they are hereditary.

>>35979607
He or she probably made some porn session. It's very common in porn these days, that bottles/fists/several dicks are being stuck into someone's vag or asshole. The viewers are so impotent today that they are not getting aroused otherwise. So there is all kinds of severe injuries caused to people in porn.

Thanks my dude. I've been struggling with hemmoroids for a long time. I just saw blood on the paper for the first time in a while, about 30 mins ago.

Gonna have to tighten up my diet and water intake again tomorrow.

I've found that the biggest reasons for mine were carbonated drinks, aka soda, so I've almost completely cut them out of my life for good. Every time I drink some, I always end up regretting it.

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Try using a handheld squeeze-bottle bidet to clean yourself, when the inflammation makes it hard to use toilet paper.

If it stings, you can use buffered isotonic saline instead (use solution packets sold for nasal wash). Note that if you use a saline rinse, the salt will wreck any air valve the bottle has, so purchase one without a valve for that purpose.

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I think I already got hemorroids, my anus is kinda like this pic

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>tfw my everytime I wipe after the toilet there's tiny little red splodges on the toilet paper
>doesn't hurt unless I over wipe because I have germ issues (I usually wet the toilet paper in the last stages of wiping)

Should I go full wet wipe, I'm not fat and I walk around for at least a mile a day my diet could be better but it improving.

>>35982749
I'm in the same situation but there's a bump in my anus already and when I sit for too long in the toilet I can feel it bigger

I asked a friend and he said to have a diet rich in stuff like broccoli or bean sprout.

>>35975548
Im not a fat ass piece of shit with a horrible diet that sits around all day so you're text is worthless for me.

And this is coming from someone thats been shoving dildos up his ass for 3 years.