ITT: Stories of insufferable mothers

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>>35973367
cont.d
>in paddy wagon
> start shaking the van and screaming "GIMME GIMME GIMME CHICKIE CHICKIE CHICKIE"
>We pass over a bridge and the driver looses control
>go careening off the side
>blackout
>wake up to MY VERY OWN WAIFU KATIA
> she reaches into her pants pocket, probably for a condom
>fuckyes.tga
> it's actually an M1911
> "we don't allow jap scum in here"
>shoots me in head and sends me to a place with a lot of fire and veggies

fuck you mom, its all your fault

>>35973367
that's a fine story and i've learned some lessons that will stick with me forever from it but i really need to know more about this fuck katia managan simulator

>tfw quarter black with crazy mulatto mom
>tfw huwhyte-passing
>tfw my mother constantly shits on white people and men
>tfw she constnatly asks me why i don't identify with black people
>tfw she's neurotic and controlling, and has offered to pay my brother's friends to literally spy on him
>tfw she has a history of freaking out at me in public, and when i explained to her how this exacerbated my anxiety, she sent out a long e-mail explaining how her insane, neurotic behavior in public can be credited to how she was "persecuted" for being brown

This is hell.

I'd be able to type out something longer and more coherent, but I'm drunk atm.

>>35973367
>jump out window
bullshit, you're like 400 pounds

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>5AM
>bitch of a mother is being loud as hell
>why can't she leave me in peace doesn't she know 3-6AM are fappy and nappy time
>I hear a loud thump
>reeeeeeee this bitch she can't do anything right
>I reeee at her until she just says 'sorry hun-huns'
>that's it, I can't stand this bitch anymore
>I yell back at her
>'I don't want a sorry i demand 50 good boy points and i will kill the hamster if you don't do it'
>fag op mom better deliver
>All this yelling has really been strengthing my peepee
>I decide I will man up i am a man now and I will follow through
>I grab the hamster which mommy gave to me something about turning 30 and being a big boy and learning responsibility
>she doesn't understand i am still a growing boy
>look at hamster
>the hamster has a large poopyhole
>le big idea.jpeg
>I say to hamster odds fap evens sleep
>I slide my hard peepee all the way into the hamsters asshole, casuing it to instantly spray blood averywhere from being torn open
>I guess two and 5/8 inches is too much for anyone to handle
>Oh man this is almost as good as tendies
>start to edge so I pull out
>hard peepee drenched in blood and tiny entrails
>Suddenly my door opens
>I forget to reee and instead my peepee shoots all over mommy's nice work clothing
>'mommy you bitch get back in the kitchen i need tendies'
>I see her just fall on her knees and start crying
>I reeeee as loud as I can until she gets back up and runs away from my room
>Great now I have to scoop the peepee googoo'd into my peepee poopoo googoo jar
>why do i still let her live in this house

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>Working in kekdonalds for extra college money
>All is well, except this fucking obese manchild
>Whenever he comes, he always make other customer uncomfortable because of his poor hygiene and horrible smell, yells at kids, etc
>Always ordered chicken strips, or "tendies"
>Throws a temper tantrum or worse, his diaper when he don't get his tendies
>Comes graduation day
>Last day at work. After this, I'm going to move to another city
>We're out of chicken strip
>Everything seems fine until Manchild comes
>He wears shitty SAO T-shirt, slimy hair, I'm sure he didn't bother to bathe before comes here. He reeks of cum and piss
>"Gimmie the usual huge portions of tendies and xxl diet coke, fag"
>"I'm sorry sir, we're out of chicken strips and not going to fry more." I try to reason him
>"YOU BETTER PREPARE THOSE TENDIES NOW BITCH, OR I'LL LITERALLY SHIT ON YOU WITH MY BIG BOY CHARIZARD POWER"
>Not today, fucker
>Give signal to security(6'5 Bulky Spic)
>"Sir, We're out of chicken strips. Please order something else"
>"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE GIVE TENDIES! NOW! NOW! NOW!" fucking manchild starts screaming
>As I'm about to be punched by his cheetos-stained finger, security apprehended him.
>"FUCKING NORMIE! CAN'T HANDLE MY NINJUTSU SO YOU CALLED THIS FILTHY IMMIGRANT?! NEXT TIME WE MEET, I'LL GIVE THE TASTE OF PEEPEEE AND POOPOO ON YOU!"
>"Oh yeah? Why don't you fat fuck come to my place and settle this like a man! Come to(address censored) If you're man enough! I'll beat your autistic ass!"
>"JUST YOU WAIT YOU FUCKING DINGUS! THOSE WHO ARE UNPOOPED WILL BE POOPED ON!"
>I actually give him the address of mr. del'tyrese, unemployed, ex convict black man that nobody likes.
>Last time I heard from my coworker, the manchild got his nose broken by del'tyrese after throwing piss jar and shit jugs at del'tyrese's house
>tfw he don't even know my name

Sometimes, you need to act little devilish with guys. I feel sorry for their mum though

>>35973367
Boston Market doesn't even have tendies, silly OP

>>35973473
>go straight from Vietnam to some nigger non-country
>can't get heroin here (too autistic) so you're all shaky and fucked up
>get your leg blown the rest of the way off by a screaming black teenager with an RPG-7
>the nurse is a yellow cat who can't stop crying and dropping things
>feel bad for her, really nice to her even though you're in terrible pain and down a limb
>one of those days you can't take it anymore, she's fucked up, you're fucked up, you may as well because you're probably gonna get bombed in the next month
>you pull her into bed and feel her hard cock against your thigh

>fuck it, J. Edgar isn't gonna fly out here and he's a fag anyway

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>be me
>mommy's big bouncing 400lb boy
>having a bubbly bubble bath in my reinforced steel tub
>making tendie flavoured bubbles from my poopy hole
>love felling them tickle past my mighty 2 inch peepee
>squeeze extra to hard to make an extra big bubble
>suddenly the water turns to gravy
"REEEEEEE! MOMMY! I POO POOED IN THE BATHY TUB! NOW YOUR BABY YOU MUST SCRUB!"
>no answer
"MOMMY! THE WATER IS ALL BROWN AND STINKY! THERE'S TENDIE JUICE ON BABY'S WINKY!"
>still no response
>i lift my ample frame out of the brown smelly sludge
>it has rendered me covered in slippery poop juice
>slide my way downstairs to see mommy and another new chaddy daddy cuddling on the couch
"oh, anon... i thought you were still in the bath... didn't you play with that plugged in toaster i gave you?"
"BABY POOPIED IN THE BATH! CLEAN IT UP OR FEEL MY WRATH!"
"listen champ, your mom and i are trying to watch the movie. how about you go upstairs and give us some private time. you might wanna clean up too, you smell like shit"
>i can feel my tard rage building
"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
>grab my loot crate exclusive replica minecraft sword and strike chaddy daddy in the head
"that's it you fat little shit! you're gonna get it!"
>he charges and attempts to grab me
>my shitty coating has turned me into a slippery brown seal
>i slip out of his grip and waddle upstairs towards the bathroom
"got you now bitch!"
>he charges me again but slips on a stray turdie tendie which sends him flying towards my rusty brown bath
>hold his head under the kf sea of poop as he struggles to fight for air
"DRINK MY RANCID TENDIE JUICE, THEN YOU AND I CAN FORM A TRUCE!"
>suddenly he stops breathing
>he must be dead lol
>talk to mommy
"CHADDY DADDY DROWNED IN CRAP! NOW MOMMY MUST TAKE THE RAP!"
"sure anon, prison has to better than this"
>get tendies at the police station
>turns out the death penalty is legal in this state
>mommy BTFO

I guess she should've taken better care of her baby.

>>35975934
But If your mom is put to death, who will take care of baby boy?