Psychological Issues #20

Please kill yourself Nick, do it for the kids

It's not a real psych issue, but i have crippling shyness, i never participate in real conversations that aren't just me and someone else im really close to, I'm too shy to even talk online half the time. its not like im afraid of anything, i can just never bring myself to do this. hitting this post button is even hard

>>35971496

It is a psychological issue, and it is more important than you seem to think. If it prevents you from a happier life, it is a serious issue.

I'll assume you have issues putting yourself forth, and probably don't trust people to know you as who you are, and probably put the emphasis on what you do, instead, which makes you feel very nervous about anything you may say or do.

You're afraid people may not see who you are as a person, maybe you don't even expect them too, maybe you don't feel like there's much to show.

When did you become shy like this?

>>35971403
Is >>35970495 you? I read that post and thought of you, then I refreshed the catalog and saw this thread. Surreal.

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>>35971403
how do I get over my oneitism, Nick? Even though we only met once during college and she was nice to me, I just can't stop thinking about her. And now that she is going to get married soon, I just feel like complete shit and think about killing myself everyday.

>>35971543
If you're contemplating suicide over a woman getting married, you should go ahead and kill yourself

>>35971403

Hey Nick, it's me sleepy girl. Figured I'd come back today

>>35971542

It's not, but it sounds like the stuff I'd say.

Actually, since it's an older post... I'm confused. I don't remember writing this but it sounds like me so much that it just might be... I'll take a closer look at the thread.

Weird.

>>35971542

Ah, no, American dates, it's from today, not February. My bad. This isn't me, but whoever he is, he could impersonate me.

>>35971543

The Internet says, "Go fuck ten other women."

I think going out there may help, but I say that and can't do it myself, so there's my advice.

Don't kill yourself. Hold on. It's not over. Stick with us.

Give yourself time. Do things you enjoy.

Is this usually how breakups affect you?

>>35971619

Did you catch any sleep?

>>35971725

I tried the pills again, but too no avail. This time my Brother woke me up, he was concerned because he said I was making noises.

Yesterday was a very long day. After work on minimal amounts of sleep I had another eight hours dealing with the SO's family. As I mentioned, they're quite significant in our dynamic so there was little I could have done. In retrospect though, I might have been better to just blow them off anyway. As it is, I won't now get a last hurrah until Tuesday. Not too long, but longer than I wanted to wait. It's probably no surprise that I have poor impulse control. I'll just be marking time until then.

>>35971534

I have a similar issue to Rick, I became very shy between ages 10-14.

>>35971745

OK. Your unconscious is dealing with very serious matters, and your job is to bring that back to your conscious mind; in short, you must become aware of the real issues.

Don't be offended by what I'm about to say, I'm not saying it to hurt you, but it is my opinion that any and all "gender identity issues" are basically personality disorders. I will not attempt to convince you if you don't believe so, that is fine by me, but I want you to know that this is my angle and that I will probably bring things back to it every now and then.

Do you remember your nightmares?

>>35971754

Glad to see you around.

I'm not always sure what you're talking about. Do you notice you rarely give many details?

>>35971800

Same. Sources are likely the same.

PARENTS

>>35971825

>it is my opinion that any and all "gender identity issues" are basically personality disorders

I completely agree and I think it is medically accurate.

>Do you remember your nightmares?

No, In fact most of yesterday evening was a blur. All I remember from the dream is a void, but I know that's not what the dream was.

Nick,
I'm tired. I'm twenty but I feel completely burnt out. My job is extremely stressful and I have a lot of responsibility that frankly I don't feel ready for.
The only constant emotion I feel is a faint sense of worry. I can't bring myself to care deeply about anything. I don't feel any pride or sense of accomplishment.
I just want off this ride. I can't quit because it's a military job, but the thought of doing this for years is horrifying.

Daily reminder that physiology is a made up jew meme.

>>35971403
I've locked myself in my room since I was 13 till now (22), dropped out at 17 and no friends
Single mother who works and keeps food on the table
Ugly
Black
Manlet
No talents whatsoever

The fact that life has no meaning, the universe is deterministic and free will is an illusion used to bring me comfort but that has run stale

I don't really care enough to kill myself as none of this is my fault, I had little choice in my conception

I pretty much gave up a long time ago

>>35971909
>I completely agree and I think it is medically accurate.

Oh, OK.

>No, In fact most of yesterday evening was a blur.

This sounds serious. Do you remember any other nightmares?

>>35971925

Seems like you're not doing what you want to do, and perhaps knowing what you want is difficult in itself.

Do you have other symptoms? Anything, even details. Any quirks, any problems, anything.

>>35971946

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physiology

Get bent.

>>35971850
You're not the first person to say so, but no. That partly an issue of poor memory because of medication and epilepsy, but also because I tend to assume people have the same information as myself. Illogical I'm aware, but it goes back to the idea of people only existing relative to me.

What I was talking about was that I had intended to have a night to myself to drink before going tee total. Unfortunately, that has been postponed because I went to an evening out for my partner's aunt, whom I dislike. As I mentioned almost at the start of our conversations, she has a tight-nit family unit that makes her both more difficult and less desirable to manipulate or harm. She's very useful because of her family's generosity, and also protected from my machinations by them. She is thus essentially unaware of the predatory side of me. That facet has to seek his kicks elsewhere. For now, that's primarily online.

>>35971973

>Do you remember any other nightmares?

I mentioned yesterday, but i don't think you saw the reply. I only remember one dream.
I'm still a kid living at my parents house, it's in the evening when a fully grown husky dog gets into the house. It mauls my brother to death, rips off my genitals and then rubs up against my parents while they pet him. If that makes sense

>>35971960

What happened when you were 13?

>>35972095
I hit puberty

I'm diagnosed with DID. I'm going back to school in a few months and I want to make some friends, but I don't know how to talk to people about having a mental illness. I figure it's something I'll have to tell a few people about, or it'll be way too complicated if they found out on their own. I want to isolate myself so that I don't have to explain it and be misunderstood but I feel so alone.

>>35971683
>Give yourself time. Do things you enjoy.
like what? just carrying on indulging in mindless hedonism like playing video games, watch tv shows, fapping and reading?

>Is this usually how breakups affect you?

kek thanks for the laugh I probably needed it.

But I'm a kissless hugless virgin.

>>35972026
>but it goes back to the idea of people only existing relative to me.

Yes. I'm amazed you are simultaneously aware of that yet still unable to consider the mental existence of others.

How does that happen?

>she has a tight-nit family unit that makes her both more difficult and less desirable to manipulate or harm.

Why would you manipulate or harm her? Captain Obvious question but I have to ask and not adapt to you too much (my curse and gift).

>>35972265
Give all your stuff away and kill yourself

>>35972068
>If that makes sense

I'll tell you how I read it, based on what I know of you. (Dreams only make sense with regards to the dreamer, fuck all those "dream dictionaries".)

The dog does what you ended up doing to yourself. The dog is your parents' friends. You may be conflicted over the fact that you mutilated your own body to do something you parents manipulated you into doing, consciously or not, probably not consciously. Your mother may have made you feel so bad about being a boy that you tried to escape being her son.

Just throwing random ideas in the air.

>>35972160

Fair enough.

As to the deterministic universe, scientists stopped believing in that a century ago, if that brings you any comfort.

>>35972270
>Why would you manipulate or harm her?
I wouldn't. It wouldn't make sense to. She occupies a different mental space to me now, though it wasn't always so. Things could have gone differently at one point.

>Yes. I'm amazed you are simultaneously aware of that yet still unable to consider the mental existence of others.
I suppose it's a little like watching the behaviour of NPCs in games. There's a logic there, and they each respond in one way or another, and I won't always predict it correctly. However, there is something there. I can't always appreciate it and it would behoove me to attempt to grasp it. if I'm to better appreciate my scenario.

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>>35972226

Would they necessarily see it at some point?

Describe your DID.

>>35972265
>like what? just carrying on indulging in mindless hedonism like playing video games, watch tv shows, fapping and reading?

Yeah... I know. Pretty much what I'm doing myself lately.

>kek thanks for the laugh I probably needed it.

Sorry, I didn't understand things correctly.

Do you practice any sports?

>>35972315

>Dreams only make sense with regards to the dreamer, fuck all those "dream dictionaries"

Preach

>Your mother may have made you feel so bad about being a boy that you tried to escape being her son.

That's a possibility, but I have just always felt feminine. I always thought a penis didn't belong in between my legs. It felt right to be on the bottom (wouldn't actually know, Virgin, and never gotten farther then a hug. Not even a relationship). I know almost nothing about biology and psychology, so I'm talking on little resources

>>35972348
>I wouldn't. It wouldn't make sense to. She occupies a different mental space to me now, though it wasn't always so. Things could have gone differently at one point.

But why on earth did this thought even come to you? It seems normal as breathing to you, and weird as goddam to me. I know you know this, but I still wanted to underline that fact.

I guess, if others don't fully exist to you, their own will can't exist to you, so you are unable to appreciate being liked or even wanted by someone else. How about that?

Is it normal that i think my friends are going to betray me? In the sense that when they are not with me they talk shit about me or maybe they go out without me, its a constant feeling i have.
Second "problem" is it normal to start worrying about things like "is the door really closed?" and check it a few times?
Third "problem" Is it normal to have lost interest in women or people in general?

>>35972348
>However, there is something there.

Good analogy, but how about this: an NPC and a character controlled by a human can look exactly the same: are you able to consider that other bodies are controlled by the same consciousness that controls your own?

>>35972360
There are 5 of them. I don't remember the things that they do. They all have different opinions and interests, so to people who don't know about it it seems like I change my mind a lot and say really conflicting things. Some of the others aren't that normal.

>>35972430
>That's a possibility, but I have just always felt feminine.

Who knows what happened to you as a baby, how you were treated.

>I always thought a penis didn't belong in between my legs.

Could be for similar causes.

>It felt right to be on the bottom (wouldn't actually know, Virgin, and never gotten farther then a hug. Not even a relationship).

I am sorry about that and hope you will find someone.

One theory I have is this: as a baby and infant, if you grow up with a narc, you can't become yourself, you can't exist as your own person, but only as an extension of them. Perhaps, you felt like to exist, you had to become your mother.

Throwing ideas out there, again.

>>35972450

None of that is normal, so to speak.

Each of these things remind me of different disorders, though.

>paranoia
>slight OCD
>depression

Any other symptoms?

Is your father a scary big black man?

>>35972476

You and Facet share DID. I'll let him speak for himself if he wishes to.

Can you describe your alters?

>>35972378
>Do you practice any sports?

I used to, but not anymore. But I always seemed to give off a bad vibe which caused people to bully me or avoid me.

>>35972650

Would you consider joining a gym?

>>35972459
Were I an NPC I'd be unable to subvert the system. What I could do though, is enact some interesting thought experiments into aberrant patterns of thought and behaviour. As for the 'player' I could be an entertaining villain if not an irritating party member.

>>35972441
It's because as we've discussed, everyone has to be evaluated in terms of threat and in terms of what can be gained from them, and how. Some have nothing to offer beyond a mutual indulgence in suffering, and in those cases - well, as you've seen lately I've been split on the right course of action. One is to indulge and another is to try and change my behaviour. In each case, I have to reason out why?

The best answer I can come up with is self-perception. For example, if you work out with regularity then you engage with a process of 'becoming'. Becoming better, stronger and so on. Or you can remain inured to slothfulness and gluttony. In that case, you reinforce the idea that you are a sloven. So I suppose it depends which story I'd prefer to tell myself:

>I'm dangerous and predatory, and can't control myself
>I struggle internally but strive to do good

In the former case I feel strong but also a slave to impulse. In the latter, I'm indecisive and lack fortitude but may be able to become someone I could respect.

>>35972552

This all may be true, and none of it may be. But my Gender Identity is an issue I'd like to talk about at a different date.

>>35972663
No. I have no interest in perfecting my body or whatever to please others

>>35906658
I'm back studied for the next two hours went to sleep wrote the test in the morning
....I dont think I passed but thats okay with me for now

>>35972665
>Were I an NPC

Interesting, and completely not what I was thinking of. I mean, how hard is it to you to imagine that other human bodies are controlled by a similar consciousness to your own?

>everyone has to be evaluated in terms of threat and in terms of what can be gained from them

Can you really not see things from any other angle?

>In the former case I feel strong but also a slave to impulse. In the latter, I'm indecisive and lack fortitude but may be able to become someone I could respect.

Do you think your high intelligence makes your DID worse or better?

>>35972672
>But my Gender Identity is an issue I'd like to talk about at a different date.

OK.

Do you have a clear idea of what your feelings are for your mother?

>>35972745
>No. I have no interest in perfecting my body or whatever to please others

How about to please yourself?

>>35972578
idk, some teachers used to tell me i might have autism and should go to a psychiatrist, i really dont want to go because i think drugs will fuck my brain.
no why?

>>35972635
No, I don't think I can.

>>35972760

Better luck and preparation next time, glad you went and did your best anyway.

>>35972836

>Do you have a clear idea of what your feelings are for your mother?

Very clear, I have one feeling for her and that is hate. If you knew her you would probably feel the same.

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>>35972868
>idk, some teachers used to tell me i might have autism and should go to a psychiatrist, i really dont want to go because i think drugs will fuck my brain.

You don't have to accept medication. You can see a psychiatrist without taking medication. I don't think your problem is the medicated sort anyway.

>no why?

Because...

>>35972889

How did you know anything about them or that they're 5? (Not trying to catch you riding dirty, only curious about how you relate to your alters.)

>>35972914
>Very clear, I have one feeling for her and that is hate. If you knew her you would probably feel the same.

I don't know her and I feel it already.

It's a good thing that you're clear with that.

Are you still in contact?

>>35972924
kek never thought of that, fuck you anon you are going to make me watch the prequels again.
how about you anon, any problemos?

>>35972944

>Are you still in contact?

I have her phone number, but I haven't actually contacted her in three years

>>35972937
4 of them have some kind of other place in their head where they interact with each other, like a dreamworld. I can't go there and neither can the other one. They used to write notes to me.

>>35972973
>kek never thought of that, fuck you anon you are going to make me watch the prequels again.

Go right ahead!

>any problemos?

Loads. The Narc Wars have officially begun today for me. My mother visited my brother and his wife, without being invited, without even being told their address.

Shit went down, hard. Bro is shocked because it's the first time he interacts with her after knowing about narcissism. Like me, he sees a whole new reality, and a whole new person.

He didn't allow her inside, she freaked the fuck out. She left him a letter. A page and a half of narc tricks.

They even threatened him to sue for the right to see their grandkids, that right doesn't exist here, thankfully.

My father called me shortly after, I didn't pick up.

Then they took to whatsapp, the family group, and my father wrote a long ass list of criticism against all of us, trying to divide us. It was vicious.

>>35972791

>Do you think your high intelligence makes your DID worse or better?
I'll take the compliment, but I think it makes it worse. If nothing else it gives more scope for variation and alternative points of view, which means more alters.

>Can you really not see things from any other angle?
In the first, I think threat analysis is useful. In the second case, I'm sure there are other - and probably better - ways to assess people and situations. However, since I always feel as though I'm playing a survival game I rarely feel as though I have the luxury of thinking another way. Honestly, I'm not really sure how.

>how hard is it to you to imagine that other human bodies are controlled by a similar consciousness to your own?
On the level that I'm an animal and that all humans are as well, it makes sense that they're all similar. Beings of flesh with minds operating within limited parameters, and subject to variation and damage, which in turn can lead to some replicable patterns. I can only imagine it if I distance myself from my own experience.

>>35973005
>They used to write notes to me.

Damn...

What happened to you when you were a wee one?

>>35973107
wait how old are you anon?
oreganololo

>>35973156
Nothing. I had a pretty normal life until they showed up.

>>35973136
>I'll take the compliment, but I think it makes it worse. If nothing else it gives more scope for variation and alternative points of view, which means more alters.

My thought was that it made it more complex, and thus, worse. Yes.

>In the first, I think threat analysis is useful.

Ever thought that threat analysis may itself be a worse threat? Much the same when you try to do something, if there's a perceived danger, you'll fare worse than if you didn't think there was any. Compare walking a tight line on the ground, and the same line 800 meters high above the ground.

>I always feel as though I'm playing a survival game

I will assume you never feel safe.

>I can only imagine it if I distance myself from my own experience.

This is all very strange to me. Do you think your worldview is something like solipsism?

>>35973169

I'm 34.

>>35973178

Anyone in your family with DID?

>>35973222
None that I know of. My family doesn't know about me either though.

>>35973215
Solipsism is pretty accurate. I know it's a limited philosophical position and is normally considered primitive, but I'm not adopting it as an edgy atheist; I just struggle to think in any other way.

You assume correctly. I'm always conscious of where the weapons around my house are, for example.

>>35973251
Any supernatural-themed or opposite gender alters?

Should I honestly just kill myself? Humans are just too mean and aggressive and I don't like the invisible social force that dictates proper ways to act.
Every time someone tries to teach everyone to be peaceful and loving they just end up getting killed.
>Jesus
>Ghandi
>Abraham Lincoln
>MLK
What really bothers me about this is that I'm no different and I've been bad and aggressive before. It's like an unavoidable part of being human. It disgusts me and I want to either die or kill everyone in the world.

>>35973268
2 are the opposite gender. One of those 2 is also some kind of thing. That's as much as I'm going to say about it.

>>35973268
>I just struggle to think in any other way.

I know, that's how I meant it.

>You assume correctly. I'm always conscious of where the weapons around my house are, for example.

Ready to fuck shit up at a moment's notice. I probably mentioned CPTSD before, mind talking about that for a bit?

I mentioned it to my therapist, and I did a test on my own recently and I tick 99% of the boxes for that.

>>35973222
Are you mexican or something? I never head someone who keeps their family close to them when they have problems

>>35973321
I'd be happy to discuss it with you. Do you have any tests that I could try online, if you think it might relate to me?

>>35973312
I know where you're coming from.

>>35973302

How do you feel about seeing a therapist?

>>35973321

You seem busy at the moment, so I'm going to come back later in the day

>>35973350
>Are you mexican or something? I never head someone who keeps their family close to them when they have problems

Not sure what part you misunderstood in my post. My parents are basically stalking my brother and threatening lawsuits and all. My parents ARE the problem. I also suspect them of having sabotaged my car, and potentially made my brother and I to bathe in their excrements. Just sayin'.

>>35973402
>Do you have any tests that I could try online, if you think it might relate to me?

Can't find the one I did online... There aren't many. I'll keep looking.

>>35973440

I'm right here! Give me about 5 minutes to respond to your post.

>>35973404
It's expensive and I've been to one and it was extremely ineffective

>>35973562

Any social insurance for it?

Facet, I found the test I DID.

http://www.synergiacounselling.com/the-complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-cptsd-test/

It's yes/no questions, and they wrongly assume that the more "yes" you get, the more likely you have CPTSD, though some questions are obviously "no" orienteded.

>DID you feel loved by your parents?

Report back, I'm curious.

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>New Girl in class
>She starts to miss some lessons
>After sometime she decided to say the truth
>Says she can't attend class because she is in therapy
>Says she has depressions,cuted herself and has a eating disorder
>After i heard that i instantly messaged her and told her that i'm here for her if she wants to talk (We only talked a bit here and there before, but i really wanted to help her because she is funny and i liked her)
>She is very grateful and thanks me for that, says that i'm really funny and idc why she said that i'm handsome
>Time passes

>We start to message us more and more and talk in class more and more
>Suddenly she randomly messages me after school and asks me if she can tell me something
>"Anon you are my best male friend and you are very important to me, i really really like you much" (Kek we started to talk more and more since 1 month)
>"I like you too, probaly the most out of the girls in our class" (what true is)
>"But Anon what about Stacey?"
>Lie to her and say that i hate Stacey, also made things up why i hate her
>Before she asked me this things she randomly turned around and screamed to Stacey,that sits next to me, that she won't take me from her
>Asks me in the same message if want to do something with her after school
>Agree and we go out eat ice cream and talk for 5 hours
>"I really enjoed the time with you Anon....do you want to come to my best friends party?.....and next time we meet ourself in my town!"
>We stil talk and mess around in class
>Time passes

I will continue the story
This shit is fucking long but i think you need to read everything to understand our realtion.

>>35973794

Cont.

>Notice that she started to post and make depressive shit
>Ask her if she wants to talk or if i can do something for her
>"I don't need anything Anon, but if you want to talk you can always ask me too"
>Ask her what she is doing right now
>"Nothing Anon nothing, i just will wipe away my tears and cry myself into sleep"
>Ask her if she remembers what she told me
>"Everyone can draw Anon you just need a bit practice and a good intention in your heart"
>Take out my preparations, a fully hand draw picture about a moment that happend on our "date" ( She loves to draw and is really talented)
>Give it to her, because i can't see her suffering
>"ANON?!?! DID YOU REALLY DRAW THIS FOR ME?.......THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUl!!!!.....YOU ARE SO IMPORTANT TO ME!....I'M SO GLAD THAT WE GET ALONG SO GOOD"
>No sings of depessive shi anymore and we proceed as normal


Next part will be last part

>>35973816
>One week later some days before the party i flirt really hard with her in class and we have really fun
>She messages me after school and asks me how i looked at her
>Say to her that i really like her and that i think she is pretty
>"Hihi <3 You are my best friend Anon"
>At this fucking point i'm not sure what she wants from me....she meets herself with me after school and says over and over again that she really likes me but says after all that, that i'm just her best friend?
>Tell her that i don't know what she expects from me and what she wants
>"Anon do you want a relationship?"
>"...."

Okay this is longer than expected

>>35973849
>"It's hard Anon we should stay friends now but maybe it can develop into something..."
>"I'm still not over my EX friend,he really damaged me and i think i should focus on myself for the sake of us two and get myself into good shape for now.....Anon i hope this didn't hurt your feelings or our friendship"
>"No i'm good, i'm acually really happy that you told me what you think and that we talked about our relations....what did your EX do to you that you are like that? (She really focused her answer before on her EX)
>"Anon i trusted him...i hate myself and i think i'm ugly...i also think that this is all my fautl....okay...he liked me....we were together for a half year and he was one of the nicest boys that i met, we did everything together....."
>"I trusted him...he was the first boy that i opend myself.....after sometime we stared to kiss and cuddle and get more intimacy into our relationship......after a while he asked me over and over again if i want sex with him."
>"But i wasn't ready because i hated my body ....and after some time,he tried to kind of rape me while we were doing our casually cuddleing, he pulled my pants down but i screamed and he stopped and broke up with me....."
>"He told me that i'm worthless and that he only wanted to fuck me....he said that it was a pain to be together with me and that it wouldn't be even worth it if he would have fucked me"

Holy fuck is this long.

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>>35973879
>"Anon this is so hard for me to talk about this....this really hurted me and everytime i talk about this....i die inside......this hurts even more if psychologist brings it up in a therapy"
>At this point i apologied myself that i asked and that i didn't want to push her.
>"Anon you are the only person that brings me to laugh and you are one of the only that listens to me if i have a problem and i think you are one of the persons that really care about me"
>"Thank you Anon......"

>Fast forward to party
>I mainly did something with her friends
>But close to the end we were sitting kind of alone together outside and talked and made photos
>She behaved like always, like i never brought this up and one day before i brought everything up we were making plans for our next meet ups.
>And our hug felt like...i don't know like something.

What do you guys think?
Some of you guys have probaly depressions too..
How did i handle things with someone that has this illnes and is there any hope left in a relationship?
I really fucking like her.

okay this is my masterpiece

Hey I'm the one whose mom you're saying is a narcissist, I mentioned the "9th grader boobs" comment, if that gives your noggin a joggin
You asked me about my childhood with her last thing I remember, and that's sort of where we left off
I'm not sure where to go from here, sorry again if I'm coming off as needy or something

I have a quick question about "self harming" with BPD

Are things like playing video games all day, trolling online, also considered self harming?

They have one thing in common, the person does it to escape from his real life problems or ease his emotional pain.

>>35973849
>"Anon do you want a relationship?"

I think that's what she meant as soon as she said, "You're handsome," but that's just my knowledge of women.

I'm still reading.

>>35973663
Thanks, I'll give it a whirl.

>>35973894

1. she probably was abused as a kid and hasn't told you yet

2. may have elements of BPD

3. may burn your heart once you get too close, but you won't know until you get there

Tell her things can move at her pace and hope for the best. But prepare for things that won't make sense. It'll be emotional and it may make zero sense to you. Or anyone other than herself.

Worst case scenario.

Good luck.

>>35973990
>Hey I'm the one whose mom you're saying is a narcissist, I mentioned the "9th grader boobs" comment, if that gives your noggin a joggin

I remember you, Zoidberg.

>sorry again if I'm coming off as needy or something

I have no idea why you're saying this, so I'm sure that's something we should look at more closely. Are you afraid of sounding needy?

I don't know how accurate this test can be; it feels too general. It asks, in essence, whether you had a traumatic upbringing and whether you're not doing too well now - as I'd assume anyone might given the circumstances. In any case, I got 31 'Yes' answers.

>>35974209
No one wants to come off as needy, and I don't want to bother you by posting things that are basically "hi I'm here, help me"

This lonely hearts club circle jerk is sickening.

>>35974092
>also considered self harming?

No, this is specifically physical self-harm done to focus on the pain to ease the emotional pain.

>They have one thing in common, the person does it to escape from his real life problems or ease his emotional pain.

I hadn't read this when I wrote my first response. Vidya and the rest aren't physical pain, so no.

>>35971403
Have a couple of friends dont talk woth them much almost never hang out outside of school last time I did anything with them was last year

Fast forward to this year okish grades but I could easily be doing much better but barely have any motivation to do any work prescribed antidepressants they work somewhat but now I cant get off them because they will give me headaches if I quit but I have a reduced sex drive now I only masterbate like oce a week

Somehow via mutual friends I met a 8/10 we talked started facetiming all the time told eachother some of our secrets eventually her friend told me that she likes me I asked her out she says yes

We go to different schools havent been in a date yet because of schedules but we facetime a good 4+ hours a day

She sometimes trolls me and can be overdramatic kinda of a pain jn the ass doesnt want to go to prom because she cant afford it really she spends all her money on weed but would rather have weed then go to prom
Shes my only real friend possibly the only gf I will ever have so while I wont let her pull any cuck shit or use me I also dont quite stand up to some of her bs because I am terrified of her breaking up with me and being completely isolated get kind of obssesses and paranoid when she doesnt respond to my snaps for more then a few hours

>>35974254
>I don't know how accurate this test can be; it feels too general. It asks, in essence, whether you had a traumatic upbringing and whether you're not doing too well now - as I'd assume anyone might given the circumstances. In any case, I got 31 'Yes' answers.

Other people wouldn't get so many. Pretty sure. I'll redo it and count my yesses.

>>35974277
Are you feeling left out? Want me to zukk ya dik?

>>35974274

But that's why I'm here: I'm literally here because I want to help you. Other people's neediness are the reason why I feel useful.

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>>35974193
>1. she probaly was abused as a kid and hasn't told you yet

This is very unlikely, her depression started to begin 2 years ago and she was the latest child in the family.

But thank you Anon that you took your time to read everything.

And what do you think should i just maintain like before to get in a relationship with her or should i change the approch?

And i do think that i can handle the feels.

>>35974277
>This lonely hearts club circle jerk is sickening.

Only sickening because you're in the middle of it, ready with your biscuit, if you know what I mean.

>>35974321

I think I've read this before, thanks for reposting.

As to your fear of being left, don't worry: if she's the one, she won't leave you over stupid shit. You're better off testing limits earlier than later.

All you need to do is remain calm and state your business firmly.

I want examples of her trolling you and being overdramatic. Details welcome.

>>35974377
>This is very unlikely, her depression started to begin 2 years ago and she was the latest child in the family.

I forgot about that rule which stipulates that no youngest child shall be molested, while the first ones are fair game, my bad!

>started to begin

You are my favourite poet tonight.

That said, depression can start even later, or never at all, and it still has nothing to do with whether there was abuse or not. Her reactions are very indicative of abuse at some point, she may not even remember, but she may.

Keep what I said in mind, it may become useful.

>And what do you think should i just maintain like before to get in a relationship with her or should i change the approch?

What do YOU want? Figure that out, then act on it. I say go for it. You guys get along, you like each other, get together, live! Be awesome and everything. Have no fear, but keep what I said in mind.

>And i do think that i can handle the feels.

I thought so too, then a year down the line, I lost everything, but you might be luckier.

Not every situation is mine.

Other questions?

>>35974399
Man, I get that joke...
>>35974343
Alright, I guess that's kind of comforting
I guess back on my mom:
She was around as much as she could be (I don't think I mentioned I'm an only child, though I really would have liked younger sibling[s]), like I said I've always considered her a good mom. She always made dinner and kept the house meticulously clean, made sure I got my homework don't etc., though I have always been closer to my dad
I'm not sure exactly what we left off on, so I figured we'd just jump right back into it, sorry

>>35974542
>Other questions?
Thank you Anon.

>>35974589
>Man, I get that joke...

Maybe you have a brother who plays soccer/football, I know I have. The "Biscotte" is a very real thing in Europe. One more reason why I practice sports on my own.

>Alright, I guess that's kind of comforting

It matters to me to make sure you know you can come as you are and be respected as such without any fear. Just like a good therapist would, except that I do it for free because I want to.

OK, your mother did everything well, and she probably cares about image quite a bit, right?

>>35974663
Who doesn't care about image? She wanted things to be clean, especially if people came over, but so does my dad and everyone. The amount of times she opened the window and yelled at the neighbors for arguing loudly I don't think image is too big a deal for her

>was going to drive 2 hours to see a girl
>in shower last night, get dizzy and lightheaded from anxiety about driving
>wake up at 2am from anxiety, lie awake until 7:30
>tell girl I'm not coming, anxiety too much
>she's upset with me and disappointed
>sleep until 3pm
>lying awake in bed, ignoring her messages, ignored call from dad, ignoring messages from friends
I just want to die here. Why am I like this, why can't I be normal?

>>35974903
Quit being anxious about driving you sappy fuck

>>35974869

Not all people are likely to shout at neighbours for arguing loudly. As to image, there might be more to her than just that.

Does she have a tendency to expose much skin?

I would have said no to that one myself, though my mother actually did. Worth asking anyway.

>>35974903
>she's upset with me and disappointed

Aaaaaaaaaand that's where things became abnormal.

Your mother should have been worried about you, not upset and disappointed, what a cunt. What the fuck?

Your parents may be very abnormal, anon, don't assume it's you.

Get a name, though.

>>35974936

Made you look, faggot.

>>35974987
It's not my mother, Freud.
>>35974936
I know.

>>35975037
>It's not my mother, Freud.

Your mother was upset and disappointed instead of worried about you.

I don't think much of Freud's psychoanalysis, for the record.

Describe your parents, Nameless One.

>>35975070
No, it wasn't my mother that was disappointed. It's the girl I was gonna go visit

>>35974950
My mother? Skin? God no. I mean, when it's just us yea, we were both in underwear a second ago until I had to throw the garbage out
My mom's and I dress "modestly" I guess, pants, shirts with sleeves, etc.

>>35975082

>mfw I realise anon never mentioned his mother

That's definitely weird. I was sure I read the word mother somewhere. I'll be damned.

>>35975112
>we were both in underwear a second ago until I had to throw the garbage out

And I'll bet you think that's normal? Do ya?

>>35975219
Are you some kind of stupid? Women don't like being covered up 24/7. I've walked in on my sister topless quite a few times when she thought she was home alone.

>>35974474
Yeah I posted it in the last one right after you said you were done for the day so I waited for the next thread, thanks for helping everyone out btw it means a lot.

Anyways she pretended to be on crack I was begging her to throw that shit away when she asked why I told her I cared about her etc. eventually when I threatened to tell her freind she said she was just trolling ashowed me it was just ground up sleeping pills and was laughing at believing her and being so concerned. Yesterday I was telling her that i was planning on putting the petal to the metal to see how fast I could accelerate to 35 mph and she got all mad later found out it was because she was amd I was being retarded so i guess that ls a good thing sinc eshe was worried Id get hurt

Those are just the stuff on top of my head if I think of other examples ill let you know

>>35975251

MADE YA LOOK, PUNK.

>>35975302
Do you think about the things you've typed before you post them?

>>35975251
Thats some sweet home alabama shot right there

>>35975251

I'll still analyse this for educational purposes.

>Are you some kind of stupid?

Rhetorical question, supposed to make you feel either bad or defensive or both, a favourite tool of narcs (not saying our silly anon here is a narc, but those tools aren't the exclusive property of narcissists).

> Women don't like being covered up 24/7.

Here we have a false generality based on nothing that anon says this way so you don't question whether that statement is true. The fact that it's about women reinforces the effect because if you dare disagree, you might be painted a horrible sexist. Pay no mind to it and consider logic. I know lots of women who don't care about being "covered up", meaning dressed, most of the time if not all the time, just like men.

> I've walked in on my sister topless quite a few times when she thought she was home alone.

And here we have a dysfunctional family with an anon trying to share some of his problems but unable to do it the normal way. Anon, knock on doors before you barge in like an incestuous perv.

And don't bother responding to this, it's not as serious as you might think.

Made you look.

>>35975335

Made you look, again.

>>35975162
>That's definitely weird. I was sure I read the word mother somewhere. I'll be damned.
And that's when the mask slipped.

>>35975219
Yea
We're at home, alone, expecting no one but my dad in minimum 4 hours, there's nothing sexual or weird about it
I gotta do something, I'll be back in an hour tops, sorry

>>35975419

I'm doing many things at once, and one of these things is indeed discussing my mother with my brothers. I guess that's why.

>>35975438

I do believe it is weird. It doesn't need to be sexual, but I don't think that many people would be comfortable being in their underwear with their parent. You guys have some interesting boundaries.

I would absolutely never hang out in underwear with my father, even when he did.

>>35975390
I'm responding anyway because you're an ass. How do you know I'm not genetically or mentally female? Maybe I'm speaking from my own personal preference. It's not just my sister, me and my friend have walked into his house a time or two to find his mother or sister in only their underwear.
And there was no door, she was in the kitchen.

>>35975438
See? Normal.

>>35975486
>I do believe it is weird. It doesn't need to be sexual, but I don't think that many people would be comfortable being in their underwear with their parent.
>I would absolutely never hang out in underwear with my father, even when he did.
So you're projecting. Not very good for a pretend psychologist to do.

i get derelaization and panic attacks. i notice it gets triggered when something unexpected happens, especially when i'm watching it happen on tv or something. in fact it happened a few minutes ago but i was able to distract myself enough so i didn't derealize fully and start having a panic attack.

when it happened this time, i was watching a documentary on prisons and they cut to an clip of people fighting. i immediately felt panicky and looked up and felt as if the entire world wasn't real.

does anyone else experience stuff like this?

>>35975579

Made you look.

>>35975584

Yes. I do. I hate it more than most other things.

Would you say violence is the trigger here?

Do you freak out when you see people getting attacked?

>>35975672
You're not making me look, I'm choosing to look. Stop bullying me.

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>>35971403
hi. posted last night but you were already gone
ive been on theraphy for about a year and a half with my last psychiatrist (ive been through other psychiatrists before) my diagnosis is schizophrenia and treatment resistant depression. my pdoc says we should try transcranial magnetic stimulation for the depression but i want a second opinion. also i have a hard time finding motivation. i try to draw at least 4 hours a day but i still find no enjoyment at all in it. also: unemployed 28 yo. ive had a good result with my delusions and hallucinations. they are mostly gone except on some level i still feel im in a dream but i can mostly circumvenct that thought. thanks for your time

>>35975702
its terrifying. especially when you cant distract yourself. i imagine its what a drug trip is like but you never know if you're going to wake up from it.

i'm not sure it's just violence. things like watching a car stop or swerve suddenly on tv can make it happen as well.
or if they cut to a clip of a video game.
i think it's just something unexpected that makes it happen?

i don't get freaked out in real life... i can watch boxing or mma without problems.
is that what triggers yours?

>>35975791
>hi. posted last night but you were already gone

I was the anon who said, "I love your art," from my phone in my bed.

I'd go for the magnetic thing, for all I know there aren't any side effects that are negative from it. Worth a shot.

Post more art!

>>35975702
>>35975259

Oh yeah she did invite me to a part the other day but I couldn't go because for one I didn't know anyone else who was going and was super anxious and 2 was eating out for Lent since cant eat meat on Fridays so by the time i was finished there was only like 2 hours left for the party. Any tips for getting over my anxiety of lrge gatherings of people who know eachother but I dont know any of them?

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>>35975875
thanks for your help. my main fear from Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation is loss of memory. Ive heard that can happen with Electro Convulsive Therapy but im not sure if it also can happen with TMS

>>35975832
>i imagine its what a drug trip is like but you never know if you're going to wake up from it.

That's exactly how I describe it.

>i think it's just something unexpected that makes it happen?

Getting caught off guard?

Try finding the common ground for the triggers.

>is that what triggers yours?

No, I don't get triggered for this, it only happens if I get massively fucked over.

Only know "triggers" is having my head forced underwater and tickles that go on for too long, because both happened to me as abuse in the past, and I'm ready to kill a motherfucker and his mother if he tries to do either to me.

>>35975898
>Any tips for getting over my anxiety of lrge gatherings of people who know eachother but I dont know any of them?

Make sure you can directly connect with the one person you know, so you can be in her circle of "speakers" and go from there.

>>35975930
>sure if it also can happen with TMS

I think not. Read about it but I think it's fine.

Man, your art is something. Keep posting, it's amazing stuff.

>>35975945
>No, I don't get triggered for this, it only happens if I get massively fucked over.

at least you don't have any triggers. i can't even watch a movie without being scared ts going to happen. then the rest of my day is fucked, if i can calm down at all.

>>35976035

That's a serious symptom. Do you have any other?

>>35975486
An hour was an over estimate, but rather safe than sorry. I just needed to grab clothes from the apartment
It's really not that weird, it's comfortable. Though I'll give you this, I did start "dressing down" more after my dad and I moved out to try and catch his attention a bit but it's a comfort thing now

>>35976197
>Though I'll give you this, I did start "dressing down" more after my dad and I moved out to try and catch his attention a bit but it's a comfort thing now

Oh yeah, I had forgotten about that part.

Your original problem was you couldn't sleep, right? What happened last night?

>>35976382
The original issue was crying spells
Trust me you're not fixing the sleeping issue, that's been a problem since forever and the only thing that's worked are pills and I hate pills so I deal with it

>>35976586

Crying spells and insomnia.

And no obvious source for either, right?

>>35976586
>>35976670
Maybe you're pent up. Masturbate before going to bed, see if that helps.

>>35976670
I wouldn't call it insomnia, I sleep eventually, but only after a while and I always wake up before 6ish, which is kinda cool because I can see my dad before he leaves
And I sleep okay if I'm not sleeping alone
>>35976714
>Masturbation
That's a whole can of worms on it's own, but it doesn't really help me when I do

>>35976783
>which is kinda cool because I can see my dad before he leaves

Might even be the reason why you wake up at that time.

>And I sleep okay if I'm not sleeping alone

Who sleeps with you?

>That's a whole can of worms on it's own, but it doesn't really help me when I do

Many cans of worms in your collection. What's the deal with masturbation?

>>35976818
>Might even be the reason why you wake up at that time.
Maybe
>Who sleeps with you?
No one, but sometimes I really need a good night sleep so I sleep with him, I guess he's okay with it because he knows
>Many cans of worms in your collection. What's the deal with masturbation?
It's a little hard to explain. Generally I'm a horny person, I can admit that, but when I masturbate I get all these weird feelings like guilt and shame and disgust with myself, so I don't do it as often as I want to

>>35976908
>No one, but sometimes I really need a good night sleep so I sleep with him, I guess he's okay with it because he knows

Wait, what? You guess he's OK with it because he knows? What does that mean? Do you sneak up in his bed when he's asleep and only guess he knows you're there? Describe how this happens because I don't get it.

How old are you again?

>Generally I'm a horny person, I can admit that, but when I masturbate I get all these weird feelings like guilt and shame and disgust with myself

Catholic?

>>35976970
>Describe how this happens because I don't get it.
I meant he knows about my sleep issue so he doesn't mind me in his bed. Some nights I just crawl in
>How old are you again?
19, I'll be 20 in a few months
>Catholic?
Not religious, but I do want to wait until I'm married to have sex

>>35977100
>I meant he knows about my sleep issue so he doesn't mind me in his bed. Some nights I just crawl in

And he just lets you in. I hope you see how unusual this is, do you?

And he knows you want him, too.

I hope we can agree we've found something worth talking about.

>>35977240
Yea
Yea
Yea

>>35977310

Looks like I'm going to have to do the digging on my own for this one.

I'll assume you feel bad about this incestuous desire of yours.

Possibly, the masturbation issue is an issue because you can't help thinking about your father when you do it. What do you think?

>>35977310
Maybe he wants you to push things on your own because he'd feel guilty about trying to seduce his daughter?

>>35977427

She already asked him and he already rejected her.

Yet he accepts her sleeping in his bed. Where's your mother when that happens, Zoid?

>>35977452
Sometimes people say things they don't really mean

>>35977516

But they generally do what they really mean.

>>35977609
And he still lets her sleep with him, despite her feelings for him.

>>35977371
>Looks like I'm going to have to do the digging on my own for this one.
People say talking with me is like pulling teeth
>I'll assume you feel bad about this incestuous desire of yours.
I know they're weird, but I also can't control my feelings like that
>Possibly, the masturbation issue is an issue because you can't help thinking about your father when you do it. What do you think?
I only think of him sometimes, and I've stopped that now since it's not a good idea anymore but I've always got those post-masturbatory feelings
>>35977427
Trust me I tried everything in the book, bought the sequel, stole Bill Belichik's playbook, and none of that worked
>>35977452
My dad and I moved out 5+ years ago, they're getting back together now, and I think we just moved back in since we've been here 2 nights and show no signs of leaving tonight
She knows I sleep with him occasionally and I guess she trusts my dad to not let things progress

>>35977728
>People say talking with me is like pulling teeth

It is, but I'm fine with it.

>She knows I sleep with him occasionally and I guess she trusts my dad to not let things progress

I have to ask: what else is on this level of weird with your family?

>hang out in underwear with mom
check

>sleep in dad's bed
check

>with mom's consent
check

>with dad's consent
check

>having crazy hot steamy sex with dad
uncheck

I also have to ask: how come you are not affected by this otherwise universal taboo, incest? Or is it that the very fact that it is taboo turns you on?

What, exactly, attracts you to your father?

Could it be you secretly dislike your mother and want to take her man for revenge?

>>35977861
>otherwise universal taboo, incest
Breeding problems aside, there's nothing really wrong with it, is there? If consenting adults want to have a sexual relationship, who are you to stop them or call them freaks? Being illegal in most places doesn't mean it's wrong, so don't give me that excuse either.

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>>35971403
I have started to have hallucinations again and I do not know what to do. They are visual hallucinations, characterised by a visual static and my face warping/changing in the mirror. My doctors seem to offer no explanation of this, simply pointing out that I am not psychotic and my brain scan or whatever came back normal. I am the man with "mixed" personality disorder from the other thread.

>>35977929
>Breeding problems aside, there's nothing really wrong with it, is there?

Breeding isn't the first problem at all.

> If consenting adults want to have a sexual relationship, who are you to stop them or call them freaks?

I'm Nick. That's all it takes.

>Being illegal in most places doesn't mean it's wrong, so don't give me that excuse either.

It's not illegal in a lot of places, that's not the problem. I don't know a single incestuous relationship that doesn't start and end in mental issues. None of the people involved experience a healthy attraction, and in general, the attraction exists because it's unhealthy and shouldn't be there to begin with.

But, anon, you can still fap thinking about your mom.

>>35977933

Are you sure your hallucinations isn't a migrain with auras? I've had that but it's purely cerebral and has nothing to do with mental illness, though it doesn't quite look like what you describe, just check it out to be sure.

I remember you but not the details. Name yaself!

>>35978055
>I don't know a single incestuous relationship that doesn't start and end in mental issues
Probably because you only know of a few.
>None of the people involved experience a healthy attraction
Not true, a few examples doesn't hold true for every incest couple in the world.
>the attraction exists because it's unhealthy and shouldn't be there to begin with
That is purely opinion.
I'm a gril and my mother is dead, thanks for reminding me.

>>35977818
No nothing about the "taboo" or anything turns me on, it bothers me because it's an obstacle
>>35977861
I've always considered my mom a bad wife, I feel like she was the main reason they got divorced in the first place

>>35978245

I question your vested interest in the defense of incest. Passive aggression has no hold on me, know it before you waste your time trying.

Everything I have said about incest is verified, study it for yourself.

If you yourself know that many examples of incestuous couples, please educate me about it. I'll read.

>>35978259
>I've always considered my mom a bad wife, I feel like she was the main reason they got divorced in the first place

Do you think maybe you wanted to become a better wife than your own mother to somehow save the family?

>>35978300
>Everything I have said about incest is verified
By who?
>study it for yourself
Sure, let me get right on with the studying of the countless incest couples that are being kept secret.

>>35978313
I could easily be a better wife, he's not a difficult guy. The whole "save the family" thing is a bit of a stretch

>>35978359

So you can't tell me about all these healthy incestuous couples you know first hand?

>>35978368
>The whole "save the family" thing is a bit of a stretch

It's only a question, not a statement. I throw ideas around in case anything triggers ideas or else in your mind.

Is your attraction to your father strictly sexual or do you also fantasise about taking romantic walks with him, and such?

>>35978405
I get that you're just spitballing
It's not just sexual, I want more than that with him. I don't know if there's much more to go on about him because it's never gonna happen and I just want to move on with my life

>>35978458

Does he ever discuss it?

There's something terribly fishy about his behaviour. He knows you want him, he lets you in his bed. Does he address the issue at all?

>>35978245
>I'm a gril and my mother is dead, thanks for reminding me.
I love seeing responses like this. It's like a person who enjoys playing sports being able to watch them on television. It's sloppy work, but it's still enjoyable to see the moves. I'm sure he misses fucking her, by the way. Not enough to make do with you though, evidently. Still, it's something for you to think about.

>>35978383
I feel no need to justify my thoughts to you, you're being dismissive, closedminded, and assuming a pattern in a few examples holds true to every example.

>>35978494
Are you confusing me for Zoidberg? I have no interest in a sexual relationship with my father.

>>35978554
Damn, sorry. Only half paying attention there and jumped the gun.

>>35978493
We only talk about it if I bring it up, which is rarely now
Trust me, it's not happening, I've tried to initiate it time and time again, I've tried to "let it happen", he doesn't want me like that
He's back with my mom now, they're happy, I'm happy that they're happy, and I don't want to put a wedge between the family

>>35978494

Savage!

orignringirngieogreigsdbdbdsbgs

>>35978571

No, you were right. You didn't misquote. This is your guy, Zoidberg is not.

>>35978638
>Trust me, it's not happening

I was not talking about it ever happening. Just wondering whether you discussed it, not with the view of doing it, though.

Try seeing a therapist and state your business. I really wonder what they'd say.

>>35978554
>I feel no need to justify my thoughts to you, you're being dismissive, closedminded, and assuming a pattern in a few examples holds true to every example.

No, I just asked you to tell me about those healthy incestuous couples you know, that's all.

You dismissed what I said when I told you all the incestuous couples I knew were not mentally healthy and argued you knew some good ones, so it's only fair that I ask you about them. If you don't actually know any and lied, that's on you.

You still haven't explained why incest is important for you.

>>35978700
I've never been to a therapist, the whole thing with my dad got out of hand enough for him to ask me if I wanted one though, I don't though

>>35978785

My advice: do see one. You have a very specific problem, and some serious oddities in your life.

I'd be surprised if your crying spells and sleep issues weren't related to your father, especially since you didn't disclose who you were sleeping with when you weren't sleeping alone, as if that was a detail or something.

I'd go see a psychologist/psychotherapist, explain the problem, and mention that you're very seriously attracted to your own father.

No harm can come from this.

You may discover things you can't imagine right now. You never know.

Are you willing to try?

>>35978725
I said you don't know every incest couple, not that the ones you know aren't healthy, I never said I knew some in person, I never said I knew some good ones, and I never said incest is important to me.

You're putting words in my mouth and I'm done talking with you.

>>35978684
The slippery devil!

Incestanon, the ability to develop healthy relationships is at least in part predicated upon the effective forming of a parental bond that demonstrates closeness and affection without sex. If that relationship becomes contaminated, so too does your ability to separate sexuality from the longing for paternal care. Trust me, if you keep looking for a way to fuck Daddy you'll end up with someone who's happy to play the role. You'd be better off getting therapy and working your issues out with your dad now, unknotting whatever has become tangled. If not, then you'll find yourself in a far worse situation.

Your type are absolutely my favourite.

>>35978849
>I said you don't know every incest couple,

Nor do you, so what's your fucking point? I know a bunch, and I've studied more, and ALL are dysfunctional. You haven't said jack about your own examples.

>, I never said I knew some in person, I never said I knew some good ones, and I never said incest is important to me.

Then what the hell are you saying?

Incest is important to you because you defend it with a passion. Either that or you think arguing with me is important, whichever.

>You're putting words in my mouth and I'm done talking with you.

It would be more constructive for you to share why incest matters.

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>>35978855
>Your type are absolutely my favourite.

>mfw

>>35978855

What IS your job, sir?

>>35978839
>you didn't disclose who you were sleeping with when you weren't sleeping alone, as if that was a detail or something.
I did though, you asked and I said I usually sleep alone but if I don't it's with my dad
>I'd go see a psychologist/psychotherapist
I took 2 years if ap psych in highschool and couldn't tell the difference between the two
If things get worse I'll think about going
>Are you willing to try?
If it gets down to is maybe, but for now I'll stick with a stranger on an anonymous Icelandic fish salting forum
And if I do I'll be honest about everything
Also, I tried to email you yesterday, the subject was, I'm not proud of this and sort of spilled my spaghetti trying to be funny
WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP
Sorry for being dumb, I just want to see if you got it and never got around to replying or I messed up the address

>>35978855
I really think you're confusing me with Zoidberg. I don't have any daddy issues. I've never thought about him in a sexual or romantic manner, and if he tried to do something sexual with me I'd probably freak out.

>>35978995
>I did though, you asked and I said I usually sleep alone but if I don't it's with my dad

Originally. I had to ask.

>I took 2 years if ap psych in highschool and couldn't tell the difference between the two

The two, you mean psychologist and psychotherapist? A psychologist is not necessarily a therapist, meaning a psychologist can work in a thinktank, for instance, and never see patients. That's the main difference. My therapist is officially termed "psychologist/psychotherapist". It's the same thing here.

>I'll stick with a stranger on an anonymous Icelandic fish salting forum

I don't know that meme.

>WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP

I haven't checked my yahoo today. Will do now.

>Sorry for being dumb, I just want to see if you got it and never got around to replying or I messed up the address

You aren't being dumb. You're fine.

>>35979052
>I really think you're confusing me with Zoidberg. I don't have any daddy issues.

He was talking to Zoidberg in THAT post, but the stuff about fucking mommy was for you.

Stop confusing everything, guys.

>>35978987
Whatever it is, I seem to love not being specific about it don't I? You've been very close, though. I won't specify when, of course.

>>35979125

I originally thought you were some medical person, but then you mentioned doing a doctorate on your own issues, so I assumed you might be working in the mental health field. I thought you might be a psychiatrist, but you mentioned being on shifts, though it's not mutually exclusive.

You SHOULD write to me. Not necessarily to start a correspondence, but just so I won't lose contact in case 4chan burns down.

Do you work with the same people over time?

>>35979207
I would like to have a means of keeping in contact, just in case. What was your email address again? I'll throw you a message.

The same pool yes, but some come and some go. I intend to work with them over the course of potentially a few years but it's not always feasible nor is it always necessary.

>>35979079
Thanks, for all those I guess
>>35978855
Didn't know this was meant for me
I'm not looking for anything with him anymore, and whatever my problem is I'll get over it eventually
And to me, daddy issues are "I hate my dad so I'm gonna let the whole town run a train on me"

>>35979282

[email protected]

This is the beginning of our no homo epistolary story.

Is there a way to tell one's therapist about 4chan activities without sounding insane?

>So I know a guy with DID, have you ever had a patient with that?

Give me a clue about your activity, Facet.

>>35979327
I just talk about it openly. I tend to say it's an online forum for social misfits and leave it at that.

>>35979371

That part is easy, the tough part is explaining that I run a thread where I try to help people and that I can do this 10 hours a day for weeks on end.

Back again I feel like venting, anyone else have anger issues? What do you do?

I'm doing nothing with my life, feeling down unless I take drugs. I don't like the people that I should be calling friends. We have nothing in common except drugs. The only person I've really enjoyed spending time with in the last 8 years or so lives far away and I can't stop thinking about them.

I have unpleasant intrusive thoughts irregularly, even when clean from drugs.

My psychologist tells me that I'm depressed, she doesn't know my drug habit. I dunno, figure I could get some benzos off of her, what do u robots think?

>>35979496
It really depends. Sometimes just shouting at the TV like a redneck is enough. Other times I go out looking for a fight and hoping that I'm not recognised.

>>35979496

Hey you, you always come around right before I leave.

Tell me about yourself

>>35979512

- stop doing drugs
- get real friends
- tell your psychologist the whole truth or else you're wasting your time, and your money
- what are your intrusive thoughts exactly?
- don't try to get meds off a psychologist since they aren't entitled to write prescriptions anyway

>>35979532
>Other times I go out looking for a fight and hoping that I'm not recognised.

Do you actually do that?

>>35978088
I don't get migraines, thanks for the suggestion though. I haven't set a name on here, I guess I'll namefag as necessary.

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me again (schizophrenia, in remission, and depression) i would like an answer for motivation. how do you make people more motivated? what pdocs have done to me seem to work on the short term but i brake down again fairly fast. lets say im in a point where im painting everyday, doing exercise almost every day, going out like once a week or every two weeks, etc. it feels like im juggling and im not to good about it so in a space of two or three weeks i leave one activity and if i retake it i end up leaving another one

>>35979627
Only once or twice desu. I'm thankful that people rarely rise to it because there's no positive ending to that. I feel as though if anything, that's what will land me in prison.

>>35979573
I get out of work kinda late.

I'm very happily married. Good relationship with both parents. They divorced when I was a senior in high school. I like my job. My anger doesn't seem to stem from anywhere specifically. I just get these phases where it's all I want for a few days to a month. Then the feeling leaves and my anxiety goes way down until it hits again.

My parents both have history with anxiety, bipolar, schizophrenia, and depression. But I feel much too stable besides that one issue to think I have any of that. I don't really have problems day to day.

>>35979667

You sound very active!

Do you expose your art anywhere? Do you sell?

I'm a shit artist, and I've sold some shit for 300 bucks, and I don't have 5% of your talent. You could make serious bucks, you probably do already.

>>35979668

So let me get this straight: you, maybe a doctor or something, go out to bars, specifically to pick up a fight.

I'd love to know details on how you pick up dudes.

>>35979667
>point where im painting everyday, doing exercise almost every day, going out like once a week or every two weeks, etc. it feels like im juggling and im not to good about it so in a space of two or three weeks i leave one activity and if i retake it i end up leaving another one
reduce your workload. Take one of these activities and keep doing it religiously for several months/until it's become completely habitual. One useful way to make it habitual is to have a set time each day you do the activity.

>>35979675

It sounds like a weird version of bipolar. Bipolar anger.

Do you ACTUALLY want to kill someone?

>>35979611
>I should find the motivation to stop doing drugs, yeah
>easier said than done
>my psychologist is free, a requirement to get NEETbux
>it's always dumb things like longing for oneitis, fears of disapproval from other people, I want to get out of my current situation and just like feeling bad man, can't really describe it better

>>35979752
Yeeees, if I knew I could get away with it a thousand times yes. I'm mostly just a pussy because I don't want to get caught. And my wife is the most important thing to me and obviously I don't want to ruin our life together over my fetish.

>>35979731
I don't know if you're aware that you're asking a separate question but rest assured that the method differs greatly.

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>>35979714
>Do you expose your art anywhere? Do you sell?
you are very kind. i dont expose (i have, a few times in the past) but i do sell once in a while (i sold a print two days ago). i would like to sell more often but most of the drawing/painting i do i find low quality so its not for sale

>>35979794

Other symptoms?

>>35979805
>Yeeees, if I knew I could get away with it a thousand times yes.

Is it almost a sexual thing for you? Do you have an ideal victim?

A modus operandi?

A place?

Other specific parameters?

>>35979815
>I don't know if you're aware that you're asking a separate question but rest assured that the method differs greatly.

Ah! I thought I was being all punny then I forgot you were a "best of both world" kind of guy, which made my homo pun fall flat.

How do you pick up fights?

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>>35979734
>Take one of these activities and keep doing it religiously for several months
thanks for the input. ive tried this but as soon as i take on another activity i begin to neglect the first one. it just feels like i dont have enough energy

>>35979817

I am kind, but my words to you aren't based on kindness, but honesty.

This image, and I can't tell if it's a painting or not, but I think so, can sell for way more than 300 dollars, guaranteed. Maybe you already sold for much more.

Either way, you have the whatever it takes. I can see it in everything you make.

This is honestly amazing art. You should change your name to "Artist", I'll remember you better by that name than your current one.

>>35979883
Yes, it's a difficult situation to be in. Just be patient, and remember that discipline (forcing yourself to do something even when you don't feel like it) trumps motivation, because you can never rely on being motivated round the clock.

>>35979841
It's absolutely sexual, but also more. It satisfies some other sense too.

I don't have a crime planned if that's what you mean. I fantasize about it sometimes, but nothing that specific. In my fantasies I'm just in some big, blank room cutting up a faceless person.

I'm not worried about ever snapping. I just wish I had an outlet or a way to not feel the urge so often. It puts me on edge and it's frustrating. I don't like having so much built up anxiety.

>>35979937

That's good advice, I used to say almost exactly the same thing when I was doing a fitness thread on this board.

>you don't need to be motivated
>you only need to do what you meant to do

>>35979952
>It's absolutely sexual,

I feared that. Any idea how murder and sex come together for you? Do you think you would have an orgasm if you killed someone?

Do you feel anything if you kill in video games?

>>35979824

My attention span is shot, I hate myself basically, trying to read some philosophy of self things like this book by Ching Lee. I think I just need to get through one day at a time but it's hard doing normal people things at normal people times because I have a lot of trouble sleeping.

>>35979869
Just a question of sitting in a bar, and glaring at someone. Then after a while 'taking offence' and getting in their face. But as I said, it's been very rare. Actually not since university. Such things fade into the night in that environment. I see those documentaries about people dying from a single punch and very poor luck and shudder. I have often worried shortly after that something could have happened and I'd end up on the news. I may have mentioned that I grapple competitively (or at least I did) and people just don't expect it. If feels great, honestly. It's all about manipulating your opponent: you pressure them one way, they move in the other into the position you'd always intended for them to be in, in order to set them up for a throw. It's a natural fit.

Not to mention, I originally took up grappling because I was unsuitable for strike-arts. In my late teenage years I was diagnosed with a brain malformation that meant one good punch would cause a haemmorhage. That threw out my plan to go into officer training, and derailed my plans significantly.

>>35979980
>I have a lot of trouble sleeping.

What happens?

>>35979977
Yeah I probably would. I mean, I'm definitely a sadomasochist. I used to self harm a lot but not anymore.

Eh I wouldnt nessecary say so. I mean, it's fun to go on a rampage in Skyrim, but it's obviously fake.

Like I said, I'm not worried I'm ever actually going to do anything. I just want an outlet so it's not on my mind 24/7.

>>35980032
I toss and turn. Sometimes thinking, sometimes not. Sometimes crying.

>>35980017
>Just a question of sitting in a bar, and glaring at someone. Then after a while 'taking offence' and getting in their face. But as I said, it's been very rare.

Do you think they know you just wanted a fight?

This sounds so gay to me, and I think it's with reason. It's like only a man who actually wants to fight with you will pick up your "advances".

> I may have mentioned that I grapple competitively

I don't think you did. You grappling you. Like that original MMA champion, Grace Royce or whatever his name was.

>you pressure them one way, they move in the other into the position you'd always intended for them to be in, in order to set them up for a throw. It's a natural fit.

I can see how that appeals to you. Can you imagine I'd almost feel bad for something like this? Even though it's a sport. I loved chess last year, and even when I trap people at chess, I almost feel like an asshole somehow. I don't hesitate to do it, because within the game, that's the game, but I hate to think people get butthurt.

> I was diagnosed with a brain malformation that meant one good punch would cause a haemmorhage.

Do you think your mental issues relate to this in any way?

>That threw out my plan to go into officer training, and derailed my plans significantly.

Sorry to hear that.

>>35980044

Anything abusive or strange in your childhood?

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I must sleep.I work a long day tomorrow.

Today's thread was really good. I remember you people way better now.

Take care!

>>35980135
No. My sister struggled with depression from a really young age, but I wouldnt call it that strange. My parents were always supportive of everything I did. I consider my childhood pretty normal.

>>35980121
You're thinking of Hoyce Gracie. I do feel guilty in training sometimes, but not really in sparring or competition. Honestly, the feeling of being thrown is pretty great in its own right. To really appreciate the technique, be caught in a trap and ultimately to be launched feels beautiful honestly. It might sound strange but sometimes it almost moves me to tears.

I can't imagine feeling bad for doing so in chess. I would definitely appreciate seeing that done - if I could even appreciate it. I've tried chess and shogi, and I'm unskilled. The closest I can compare it to is Dark Souls, and like many I absolutely love imagining them being upset. For example, there's a covenant with friendly fire where they summon you for help, and to kill off other invaders. The catch is, if they complete the level and no invaders have appeared you leave with nothing. Thus I like to help them clear it out, then stab them in the back metres from their goal.

Actually the malformation is in the frontal lobe, sometimes considered to be the 'personality core' of the brain. It could very well be a factor.

how do you know if you have issues? im social cripple but i dont know when it is considered depression or any other mental issue

Keep in mind if you have any problems you can talk to me!

>>35980500
I could, but why would I? What's the hook?

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>>35979930
sorry i went out to walk the dog. it's a painting indeed. oil painting. if i remember correctly i sold it for around 150 usd (planned to sell it for a bigger price but i ended up selling it to a friend

>>35971403
I've been thinking about my various visits to different psychs over the years, I'm a bit slow which is probably why I only realised why this bothered me now. I have autism, I don't suffer too hugely socially, but there is definitely very repetitive thought patterns at play, one is that I need to find a 'correct answer'. This basically means if something or someone annoys be I can't think about anything else until I learn enough to dispel my anger and move on, however with topics such as say islam there is not a correct answer, the more I learn the angrier I get. But that's not what's bothering me right now.

What's bothering me is that every shrink I've every visited has told me "oh ignore those things, don't engage in those things", and I'm wondering if thats normal advice? upon following that advice I've become more and more isolated, as near anything can piss me off for days to months at a time. Did my psychs give me bad advice by telling me to avoid things that make me uncomfrtable? Should I seek out a male psych or something? I feel I need someone more unforgiving who forces me to confront my problems, I thought that's what psychs were meant to do. Has anyone else been advised to ignore their problems and avoid them?

getting ready to go to college but i dont think my friends like me and i dont like me and im constantly weighing suicide (btwn exit bag and bridge jumping at this point)

had depression and social anxiety since before puberty and i just... i dont know ive been winging everything and just trying to get through each day and im super tired. i used to hurt myself but i realized it didnt accomplish anything so now im just drinking and trying to get high but i dont have a dealer so im tripping off benadryl like a dumbass

everyone says "things get better" but i know for a fact that there isnt a point to droning through each day like a zombie and its just a way to avoid dealing with the aftermath of my death. i dont have an identity or sense of self or goal im just here

>>35972328
There is not a single coherent argument against determinism. Fucking tripfags, how do they manage to be so thoroughly retarded.

>>35981240

Check bpd

>>35981249

Quantum theory. 1920's.