Feels Thread

At least you can spit tight rhymes.

Ive been completely apathetic for the last three years. Started after my mother died of cancer.

>tfw no feels

I will be 24 next month.

and my life has been nothing but humiliation and inner torment.

my genes are worthless.

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>>35965707
I felt alright today but as always when I lay down for bed I get hit with a tidal wave of depression and suicidal thoughts. I have stuff I need to accomplish for therapy on Wednesday but I feel absolutely crippled. I just listened to the OST of my favorite anime and wanted to throw up because of how emotional it made me. I'm a fucking wreck I need to get serious help or I will hurt myself soon.

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>>35965707
>trying to fall asleep
>think about how my current lifestyle is unsustainable
>realistically I'll have to kill myself soon if I can't figure shit out
>reminisce on times when my life wasn't such a fucking trainwreck
>wonder where it all went wrong
>several instances come to mind
>just stop thinking about it and see what's on r9k

>>35965707
Lost my job because a female co-worker lied to HR and said i made her feel uncomfortable.

The literal quote was "his mannerisms, general demeaner and just the way he was made me feel uncomfortable". It's an office full of women, i treated this one individual no different to anyone else there. I genuinely tried to be polite, friendly and social, and people opened up to me.

They told me about family members dying, about their childhood, about getting cancer. But this one worker just didn't like me. So she told some lies, with no evidence, and i lost my job last week. Her word was worth more than mine. I don't know if i should consider myself lucky she didn't lie about me touching her. The management made a big fuss, meetings were called. I presented myself as articulately as possible, asked them to speak to other staff members about my behaviour etc etc. None of that mattered, her word was worth more than mine.

So yeah, fuck the world, the sooner North Korea nukes us the better.

>>35965884
*sweats*

T-t-too true haha amirite XD

*sweats more*

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>>35965928
I might find some sad stuff and try to cry. It's been a long time and I vaguely remember it making me feel a little better once.

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>finally escape the neetlife
>still depressed
>don't even enjoy the money because I only go outside to work and get groceries
>mental health and general paranoia increasing

Fug

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>everyone bores me
>constantly lonely
>when I hang out with someone all i can think is "god I wish i was on /r9k/ right now"

>>35965978
>escape neetlife
>realize I'm too old to be anything more then a wagecuck who still lives with mom and is scraping to get little paycheck that means nothing in grand scheme of what constitutes a normal life let alone a good life or the life a man

>>35965978
Just start buying fun stuff and don't stop
I recommend dildos, vidya, and something silly like Legos or petty gemstones.

Sounds like hedonism/consumerism, but that last category does wonders, you'd be surprised. Find something silly and fairly cheap (maybe not legos) to start getting and look at and have around and enjoy

>>35965881
>when I lay down for bed I get hit with a tidal wave of depression and suicidal thoughts
I relate anon. I never go to sleep sober anymore.

>>35966026
The only thing I enjoy enough to spend money on is books, but now that I have less free time it takes longer to get through the ones I already own

>>35966026
*pretty, petty doesn't sound like a very fun thing to get

>>35966040
That sucks. I'm the super speed reader so I guess I can't relate. Do you fill literally every waking available moment with reading? That's what I do when there's lots to read. Do that, then get more books, repeat. You will be well read, maybe even get a qt (probably not), and will enjoy one of life's greatest joys

>check time
>it's 12:45
>browse for a while
>check time again
>it's 2:45

>>35966026
>I recommend dildos

good bye white race

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>tfw your life is incredibly boring and devoid of a personality and you want to change but nothing is interesting ever

>tfw your imagination is completely gone

>tfw if someone asked you simply "tell a story" you wouldn't be able to think of anything or even make something up

I really feel like a non-person. I never do anything. I've never done anything.

>>35966089
>posts frequently posted anime face

>thinks anyone will care

just buy dildos you faggot

>>35966101
why would I buy a dildo, I don't have a vagina

>>35966071
>has no joy in life
>won't even attempt the pleasures of anal and prostate stimulation

It's not even gay you faggot

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>>35966112
come on anon, it will feel good
:3

>>35966041
>Petty Soul Gem added to your inventory

>>35966040
Upgrade your PC, get vidya, buy good food and cook good meals, eat out at actual restaurants instead of burgers, get booze, drive to some nature park every now an then. You can't go wrong with this imo.
I'm also pretty depressed most of the time but I certainly do enjoy my wagebucks. And chances are you will like it if you invest enough because your brain rationalises the purchase.

>>35966118
>putting a silicone penis in your ass isn't gay

>>35966118
You buy dildos and stick them in your but while watching sissy hypno about black cocks then you play with legos.

there is something very depressing about that

>>35966118
instead of buying dildos, buy swords or guns.

>>35966157
HA! I only do the first thing!
.......
........
......
........
......
And very occasionally the last thing
.....
....
Honestl I don't see anything depressing about it. My only regret is not playing with my legos more. Only now, reading your hate comment, do I realize how pure and happy I feel doing nonsensical things. Why should I care what people think? Same thing with the dildo.
...
Of course, I also have some friends and do a few normal things to balance out, so I guess I'm not entirely credible for this board.
I can almost guarantee I'm happier than you tho

>>35966248
I hope you are, however I'm not going to fight for scraps of legos and dildos to complete my life.

I hope you find your redemption before it's too late kid.

>>35966236
I buy cool looking switchblades too, they make me happy. But I get nervous about looking like Le edgelord, that's worse to me than looking like a doofus child.

>>35966282
>I won't do this to complete my life
>I'm less happy than you
>my life probably sucks
>hope YOU find redemption

^how do you even think like this? Is it just Pride? You must release your shallow restrictions upon yourself and realize that there I should no greater pride than doing what you desire without fear of what others or yourself will think

>>35966284
Don't worry about that. It is important tho how you present it to other people. If someone showed me knifes or even katanas in a glass display I would be impressed.

>>35966310
>my life is complete

fine, I won't judge you, but I know that's not a true sentiment.

>>35965881
same man, as soon as i get in bed it all just gets 100x worse. i always feel like i need to cry, but i never can. i just wanna let it out

>>35966314
My friends are cool with it but they are mostly dweebs so

Time to post a feel for the thread:
>tfw you formed emotional bonds with Lego minifigures
>you can't mix and match the parts because each one has a specific personality
>you craft elaborate storylines and get emotionally invested
>when you were a kid, you'd get mad when other people didn't play them out in their correct personalities
>you got rid of all your kiddy stuff but you just can't bear to part with them

Fuck off Lego-hater dude, you win I suck k?

>>35966366
Yeah I didn't mean to imply that, my bad. We're all losers here anyways (unless ur a normalfaggottinnimussolinnifettuccinni)

>Last year I was going to get married
>He left me a few months ago, i cant get him out of my head and im freaking lonely
>Everybody is getting a couple except me
>I'm taking pills beacuse I have severe depression
>My mom got angry when I told her I wanted to commit suicide but finally I didnt
>Now my ex got a new gf

>>35966433
Chad found a better Stacy, welcome to our world kekekekekekekek BTFO BTFO BTFO

>>35966433
>>My mom got angry when I told her I wanted to commit suicide
no shit??? lol

>>35966420
I honestly think you people are the new gestapo.

Instead of rounding up jews and retards you enforce "losers" to cuck themselves into oblivion.

>>35966433
that sounds real shitty. your mom shouldnt have reacted like that. if he doesnt want you then he is stupid, cut him out completely. Dont kill yourself, get yourself out there and enjoy the world without that cuck ass bitch

>>35966477
>reee how dare you call the board of r9k losers!
>anyone should post here, even Chad 10/10 and Stacy the Cock Caresser

Are you joking me? This is a board meant for outcasts and the like
I'm not even that anon but I cannot let such faggotry transpire

I've started praying to God every night that I won't wake up the next morning. I've just hit the point where I realize I'll never be happy and all of my potential is wasted because I'm a lazy socially inept piece of shit.

>been talking to girl on /soc/
>was supposed to meet this weekend
>she makes up last minute excuse and ghosts me

>>35966542
maybe you were being catfished?

>>35966499
I see what you're saying and agree.

I was just saying this guy is a prime example of the bucket of crabs syndrome.

"you can're make it out of being a loser so you should buy dildos and legos like me"

it's putting a kawaii smiley face on malevolence.

>>35966499
Where does it say this is a board meant for bitter virgin autists? Anyone can post here, and they do. Most posters here are normies and have had sex. You're just a vocal minority.

>>35966559
Nah, she's real. But she just chickened out apparently. Not even the first time this has happened. Girls are so flaky.

>>35966578
i mean meeting guys off 4chan is pretty sketch, not too surprised by the cold feet

>>35966608
In a public place, center of city, going out for coffee? Yea, real scary.

>>35966608
4chan is pretty sketch to begin with

not sure why any of us are involved with it.

it's so...addicting.

>>35966617
yeah but what if the guy is autismo and because a stalker. 4chan is famed for its autism

>>35966631
And as we were posting this, she just came back. She had said yesterday she wasn't feeling well. Now she just wrote to me she's feeling better and we can meet in the city for coffee/lunch.

Here's to hoping.

>>35966560
Wats wrong with doing that? Might as well be happy and pathetic

>>35966565
>bitter virgin autists
Wow those are some pretty strong words I never said

I'm not bitter. But literally this place is meant for outcasts to have a place to feel together. It's not set in the rules because how do you regulate normalness? Don't be a pill, just go to /soc/

>>35966726
I do go to /soc/ as well. That's great about 4chan, there are many different boards you can hang out on.

>>35966565
Have sex doesnt mean you're happy, I've met virgins that are happier than me

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>tfw escaped bullying at 18 years but now no social skills
>lost the few friends I had
>study fucked me up because I botched one course (JUST FUCKING ONE) wich will make me study 2 extra years
>no gf
>got tinnitus due to stress and now I can't even listen to music

I guess samurai jack and that I will get 2 houses and a decent amount of dosh is cool but I will not have anyone to share it with so what's the purpose

>>35966652
good luck then man

>>35965707
Anyone care to listen to a greentext detailing my decent into robothood? I've been meaning to get it off my chest for quite some time now.

>>35966927
go for it man, get it off your chess

>>35967037
Copypasta-ing from another thread because nobody wants to listen to me there.

>Be me
>Have relatively little friends throughout middle school
>They were both good friends to me so it was quality not quantity
>Their names were Thomas and Nick
>All three of us were big into computers and many of our peers would laughingly call us "nerds"
>We didn't care and we just went about out own business
>This was the last time I felt a sense of real happiness and belonging
>Then middle school ended and Thomas and Nick went to a different HS
>We slowly drifted apart and I was left as an awkward high school freshman
>Be a smartfag so all honors classes
>People saw me as a "nerd" (whatever the fuck that means)
>It was at this point, even before browsing r9k, that I became aware of the pecking order between who we call Normies and Robots
>This was when I first started to fit the definition of what many here would call a Robot.
>I still play into the pecking order because the "nerds" were the only people who even came close to sharing my hobbies
>Start to realize that they were all a bunch of fun allergic narcissists with 3 foot poles up their asses
>Become socially withdrawn because I had nobody to relate to
>Even though I still had friends, hell even good friends at this point, none of them really clicked with me
>Depression starts to develop because of this alienation
>That's when I met Elias

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>>35965707
I was supposed to report to prison 4 days ago but I didn't, I'm a wanted man, I can feel the police breathe down my neck, I'm the most dangerous frogposter on 4chan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyfgJTFLCM4

I'm not joking

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>feels like i am the only real person in a world of stereotyped characters
>then realize hat I am as well a character

>>35967067
Time 4 sucking a few dick in jail bro

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>go to engage in sexual intercourse
>one chance to get it right
>can't get hard

>>35967107
didn't you read, he said he's not doing that

It's arthritis boy I was here in a few threads before without a name but I'll stick with this one

I'm 15 with JRA I was diagnosed at 4 I have it in my knees, ankles, wrists, fingers, hips, through out my spine, and jaw I think that's it. My jaw seems to be the worst with TMJ which is arthritis for the jaw and my jaw is literally just falling apart I've been through 4 surgeries to clean out the joints and by 18 I'm getting joint replacements. My knees are second worst to me I have multiple flare ups every night I have had deep injections for my wrists knees fingers and ankles 3 times now. Because I've been put under so many times for the surgeries I have memory loss from the anesthesia gas. I'm on multiple drugs for it all to help the pain which it all just seems like a waste since the pain only gets worse, I'm on an injection for it self injections on a chemo drug called symponi and I've been on it for a few years now it's horrible I hate it but I have to take it if I want to be some what functional when I'm older

>>35967049
i feels you man, i middle school had 2 really close friends, bith went to different highschools, luckily still friends with them. but kinda feel like i fucked up by isolating myself at school. depression starting to set in, have always had major anxiety issues aswell which isnt helping

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>>35967097
Iktf too well
>go to college
>my section of my major's department is full of people who don't feel real
>almost caricatures, they're like a bunch of cartoon characters with immediately recognizable "traits" and builds
>tfw this is the first group of people I've ever felt like I've fit in with

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>Have mysterious stomach illness, always in pain
>hair is falling out, growing bald ever so quickly
>About to become 30, still in an economic hole I cannot escape. Can't find job, work from home.
>Am bored with life, it's lost all of its appeal and luster.

Why were we created to experience this hell? We could have just been nothing instead, but here we are. I'm doomed to continue this path I never chose, I'm just a product of my genes and environment.

>>35967167
Will cont

>Elias was chill ass bro who sat in front of me in world history class
>We made friends by making fun of our fatass lesbian teacher
>We both tormented the shit out of her and got sent to the deans multiple times
>Turns out he's pretty into computers like I am, and even has sizable steam library
>He was in with the Normie crowd as well and was not as straightedge as the "nerds"
>He knew how to have fun and was generally nice to be around
>Halfway through freshman year get diagnosed with Crohn's Disease
>Had to have major emergency surgery because kike doctor fucked up colonoscopy
>In hospital for 2 weeks and depression worsens
>Elias was the only one who was texting me every day and generally being supportive
>Everyone else excluding my family was just absent from it all
>Get out of hospital and Elias tells me I can get medical marijuana in my state for my condition
>We both laugh our asses off
>Spend the rest of freshman year having him over at my place like every weekend
>Eventually my parents question why he is basically living over at out house every weekend
>Ask him and find out he was a child of divorce with a bit of a troubling past with his father
>Had to see him on weekends
>We both get drunk one day and he reveals to me that his father is an abusive alcoholic

cont?

>>35967291
gimme the feels

>>35967291

>Conversation continues and he tells me he has a bit of depression as well
>Parents too absent to get him medication for it
>Also has trouble with making friends despite being in with the Normies at the school
>Tells me that they are all a bunch of "fake plastic nobodies" that he can't form a meaningful friendship with
>Never was able to keep a GF for more than a few weeks because he'd always get dumped or cucked
>We shared many of the same qualities sans abusive parents and found comfort in our mutual cynicism
>Freshman year continues as normal
>He would still come to my house every weekend and we would just sit outside getting drunk by a fire
>His dad eventually catches on to what he is doing
>Bans him from coming to my house until I physically meet him
>He said that his dad thought all of his friends were drug dealers or criminals
>Summer rolls around and decide to meet this dude just so me and Elias can hang out again
>Walk into his house and immediately notice how small it is
>Living room is roughly the size of my bedroom and Elias' bedroom was like a prison cell
>Dad was this creepy old guy who looked to be in his late 50's early 60's
>See photos of him and his eldest son next to each other in military uniform
>Also see several bottles of whiskey and tequila in the kitchen sink
>We both leave after 30 minutes of awkward hell and he let us hang out again
>That was the first time I heard him say it and from the sound and tone of it, actually mean it
>"I hate my life"

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>>35965707
>live in german rural area
>only normiegirls
>no robogurls
send help

>>35967503
bumb for feels

>Had a long day yesterday
>Expected to have a comfy evening
>Had to just go to bed
>Don't know when I'll have another opportunity
>Just want to drink and watch animes
>Stressed and anxious
>Dieting but want to binge on junk instead
>Want to be left alone
>Hungry
>Sad

>>35967503

>Summer that year was pretty uneventful
>Elias would be at my house nearly 4 days a week
>Over the course of the summer he meets this girl named Emily
>They develop a lasting relationship
>His condition gradually improves and he starts to become happier
>He drank less and overall had an improved mood
>Sophomore year starts
>Things go as normal until around midterm time
>His brother, the one in the picture, was being redeployed
>Told me and Emily story about how his brother almost got blown up by some sandnigger
>Goes on to explain that since his Dad was such a bad person to him that his brother was his only role model
>Eventually gets more depressed and starts smoking weed on a daily basis
>Sophomore year pretty much ended like that
>Over the summer he smoked habitually
>Emily was angry at him about it at first but ultimately decided to do nothing
>My parents catch him high at my house nearly every time he's there
>Have long conversation with me about how he might be using me and my family
>Parents dislike him and only allow him back a select few times
>We became increasingly distant and I become alienated again

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>>35965707
I have a 24/7 conversation running in my head between me and myself. All I do is question, debate and doubt every single thing I do, believe in, aspire to be, have been, am.

I am lonely. The worst kind of lonely. The loneliness where you're surrounded by people all the time but you are never truly there. My parents despise me, my coworkers ignore me, my boss makes a joke of me. I am nothing but an irritation to these people, yet they have the audacity to claim they only get angry with me because they want the best for me? No. They want me gone, my father has often said he doesn't care how I feel.

I can't even write coherent posts on this shitty fucking site, because every time I write anything out half of my brain is wrestling with me to not post it because I know no one will fucking care what I have to say.

I am sick of this fucking life. I am not profound, intelligent, or worthwhile. I am just a typical nihilistic cringey angsty teen who thinks he's better than everyone else while being perpetually miserable at the same time.

Self hate truly is narcissism.

I want to die r9k, but the worst part for me is that I know when the time comes, I'll beg death not to take me, because I am a fucking coward.

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>>35967097
>>35967178
Holy shit I feel you guys

Everything seems so incredibly artificial.

>self hate truly is narcissism

Omg i cant believe people think those things, I mean "if u wanna die you're a selfish piece of shit"

YEAH THATS WHAT IM TELLING YOU STUPID BITCH

U cant even be depressed without the vanilla people bitching around

>>35967644
I'm the same exact way but I'm very very afraid of not having someone by my side like a boyfriend or girlfriend it scares me I dint have anyone right now I've freaked out abit 5 times now and panicked 7

Went clubbing yesterday, it was the worst night ever:
>supposed to go to a concert with a friend and his friend
>decide i won't be drinking much cause i took pills and had to drove home afterwards
>friend who is driving to the concert is in hoon mode and i start feeling sick
>we arrive to the scene, but then the other guy suggests we go clubbing instead, normie has some connections that will get us in with no charge
>allright lets go
>arrive there, i'm tired af
>wait in line for an hour
>the club is pathetic when you're not drunk, its actually boring af
>after an hour, i'm finally feeling like dancing and doing normie shit
>the driving friend tells us hes bored and want to go
>go home feeling like shit
just another failed attempt at being a normie

>>35967739
This is just too large for nothing

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>tfw my cat died when I am on the other side of the world.

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>>35967714
I don't think suicide is selfish Anon.

Self hatred implies you believe you are worthy of a specific kind of hate above anyone else. You attempt to lower yourself down in the same way chat raises himself up.

It's all masturbation of the ego.

Apathy is the only way to be truly selfless.

>>35967609

>Junior year rolls around
>For the second half of the summer my contact with Elias diminished greatly
>He started hanging around this really sketchy kid named Brad
>Brad was your typical high school troublemaker with numerous arrests for petty crime and drug distribution to his name
>Was on court observation for breaking and entering and armed robbery
>Elias would always buy his drugs from him and when I asked him where he got all his money I was shocked
>He said he stole it from his Dad
>I don't care how abusive your parents are, its not right to steal from the people who at the end of the day provide for you
>Over hear a long talk between him and Emily about how she was concerned and loved him but needed him to change
>He kept on saying that he would but he never did
>And Emily still stayed for God knows what reason
>At this point felt like I was enabling him by driving him around and even just hanging out with him but he was the only friend I felt truly connected to
>Guilt started to consume me as there was no way to stop him
>We drifted apart to the point where we only talked once or twice a week as a result
>Later that year Elias got caught with Xanax and Hydrocodone at school
>Got sent to deans and police were called
>At this point I was not talking to him at all so I can only assume that he did what he did to avoid being both prosecuted and severely beaten by his Dad
>He took all the pills he had and was taken away on an ambulance
>Disappears for a week or so
>Find out he was placed in a psych ward

>longas ass shift
>start having a fart attack minutes before my replacement comes

fuck,the stench is horrible

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>>35967644

I know this feel robopal. Life is full of so many uncertainties, how am I supposed overly simplify reality into a basic set of shallow values, beliefs, and behaviors? I need to be surrounded by people, I fear being alone. I feel if i'm alone ill die and no one will be there to help me. Truly we are in hell robopal.

Death can fuck off though. It's better to live in hell than to not exist at all. How else will I play Magic the gathering? Or eat tasty food? Or see my sister?

We're all edgy autists. Just embrace it. We'll make it robopal.

>>35967722

I'd be there for you. I just don't know where who we are.

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>>35967819

I crave to be able to fall in line with the masses and follow some dogmatic belief system that makes my life worth living. Imagine the liberation of having an end goal in sight, not being constantly pulled apart by the realisation that;

Literally nothing you have done, do, or will do, will ever matter to anyone or anything.

I can't be around people. They remind me of the life I'm missing out on. I don't even hate them anymore, I used to, but now I just envy them. Perhaps it's a misplaced feeling of superiority that prevents me from behaving the way they do, and believing the things they do.

Deep down I think I'm right about it all, and they are wrong.

Death is the ultimate liberation Anon. Imagine it, no pain, no stress, it'd be like falling asleep and never having to wake. No nightmares. No dreams. Just sleep.

Half of me thinks I'm an edgy teen, half of me thinks I'm the only fucker who can see the strings pulling on our hearts and minds.

I don't want to know which is the real me.

>>35965707
I am anxious about my life, i havent attended any of my university tutorials even though we are a month into the semester, i am a fat fuck who has no friends and keep on telling myself that ill start tomorrow to improve my life but then tomorrow comes and nothing changes, i have been this way for over two years and i hate myself and what i am becoming. At least i have a job and get money..

>>35967778

>Time passed and I figured out more details about what happened
>Emily had called the police in school that day because he had talked to her about killing himself the day before
>To this day I still think she is the soul reason he is still breathing (I think)
>Elias gets out of psych ward and is heavily doped up on all kinds of antidepressant medication
>Still coming to my house to do drugs
>He ends it with Emily a few weeks later and Emily agreed because of his lack of change
>figure out he had met a few decently attractive girls at the psych ward that were by far better looking than Emily
>Asks me to drive him out to their house one day and I reluctantly agree
>At least I can see my "friend" after all this
>Wrong
>He barely talks the whole way there and I drop him off at some 60+ person house party
>Later find out said house party contained numerous drugs
>He's pretty much using me at this point
>He had forgotten that we were even friends and was angry all the time
>He played the very person who saved his life for a fool because he just wanted to do drugs and fool around
>Hits me up for drugs a few weeks later saying he's suicidal again about Emily not taking him back
>I cut all contact with him after that and let myself become alienated
>He was not worth it
>My entire senior year was spent as a wandering outcast
>Never went to prom nor talked to anybody
>I essentially just ghosted and that's how its been up until now
>Human beings are horrible creatures with no regard for one another
>That's what Elias taught me
>Ever since then I've been seeing life though a cynical and misanthropic lens
>All other college Normies are out partying and I'm sitting in my dorm alone getting drunk
>That's how I became a robot r9k
>Thanks for listening

>>35965922
its quite a feat to get fired from a job just by being such a creepy fucker. you should be proud

>>35966026
do you really buy legos to deal with your crushing loneliness? fuck thats sad

>>35967912
stop posting noone cares this story sucks

>somehow having conversation with female
>she asks me what my hobbies are
>say that i tend to play a lot of videogames
>not even sure she heard me
>ask her back what hobbies she has
>she goes hiking and camping and shit
I need to get some hobbies. Vidya is fine and all but unless the other person is also into it, you won't have much to talk about.

Bit of a minor feel but it's one of those moments that reminds you that, to blend with the normals, you need to get out more

>>35967842
My sc is unknownfurry if you have one I'm here for venting and listening

>>35967842
Prove it's you with screenshots saying (you) on the posts

>>35966869
And ghosted again. What the fuck. The last thing she wrote is she'll come to place x later and tell me when. Now she hasn't answered in 2 hours.

Why do girls always do this?

>>35968093
No clue anon happens to me a LOT

>>35968093
We get bored easily, yeah we're bitches

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>>35965707
>be me
>be shy faggot when not putting on a fake persona that consists of me being a loud unfunny asshole
>constantly make fun of a possible depression i have that i feel is getting worse
>keep making jokes because people actually like me and i like the people i hang around with but i know they'll fuck me up in the long run
>tfw

>>35968105
Happens to all guys.

>>35968111
Here I think it's not being bored but nervous/scared.

>>35967842
I'll have proof of me please add me I need friends

>>35967880

You are not wrong. But sleep has different connotations for me, because it's painful. My body hurts as I sleep and I wake up in pain. So for me sleep is mostly torment. I can't think of death in terms of sleep as pleasant.

My solution to the existential problems of life robopal is to just not dwell on them. I think the mistake we make is thinking we are rational beings who can choose things instead of irrational creatures of habit. So I just turned off my inner monologue. I refuse to engage it or take part in it. It keeps me focused on what is here in front of me and takes me away from pointless abstraction. The only reason there is a dichotomy is because your inner monologue says there is one. So I don't engage it, I just concentrate on now.

I know that seems like ignoring reality, but the truth is reality is unknowable to a large extent. Whatever version of reality we decide on will be a poor imitation at best. So I reject the concept of a set reality.

Once I rejected abstraction, it allowed me to enjoy the little things in life again. Playing Magic, eating food, talking with people. The future does not exist, only the present does. So I try and concentrate on that. Sorry if I sound pretentious robopal, but this is how I cope with reality.

>>35968062

What is sc? I am not familiar.

>>35968163
Could be, I'm not used to that kind of situation (I always fuck guys while I'm drunk) so that could happen

>>35968270
Snap,chat

It's original leave me alone I just want to post fuck off mute

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>asked a girl that I work with out to lunch or whatever last week
>she said yes but she'll get back to me about it later
>already knew what was going to happen, no reply from her
>saw her again today
>we didn't talk much except to say hi and bye, mostly cause we were both busy with work
>she later messaged me that I was rather cold today.
>replied back saying sorry, I was just feeling really ill and tired from things
>she just then says "yeah that's fine" and left it at that

I don't know what to do with this chick. I like her but I'm borderline ready to drop her because of how she hasn't gotten back to me when she said she would. I'm just tired of always chasing women and I've been letting them come to me after I first initiate things like inviting them out etc... and they never do follow up after.

Just her message today really caught me off guard, mainly because no one ever asks me these things which is rather a first.

/feels

>>35965707
>Meet qt girl
>She is very very starnge but funny
>Find out she has depression and other disorders, even cuted herself
>Told her that i'm always there for her, we didn't even know us that good at the momen but she was very grateful for that
>Start doing more with her
>Randomly messages me and says me that i'm her best friend and a very important person in her life and that i'm very funny(in 2 months i became her best male friend? wtf)
>Time passes
>She asks me if i want to go out with her
>Agree and we go on a nice "date"
>After "date" she says next time by me and invites me to a party
>Time passes
>I drawed a picute for her and we strenghten our bond more and more
>Messages me randomly after school and asks me how i looked at her in class
>Anon you looked so cute at me and wth that smile
>Say her that i like her and ....
>Hihi <3 Anon you are my best friend
>Ask her what she thinks about me and ask for clarity
>You mean more than a realtionship Anon?
>It's hard Anon i'm not over my EX yet he broke my heart and i can't love anymore and i can't trust anymore i think we should stay friends for now but maybe it can develop into something
>Ask her what her EX did to her that she has literally 0 trust and feelings anymore
>Tells me whole story.... and i understand now why she is so defensive
>I apology myself for that question about the realtionship and that i try harded
> "Anon you are the person that makes me smile, you are the person that i can tell everything......... Anon you are important to me"
>okay
>See her at party
>She was so fucking wasted and drunk comes to me and screams : "ANON YOU ARE THE BEST PERSON ON THIS FUCKING PLANET" and give me like a 1 hour hug.

Should i still try to get her as a girlfriend?
She said that she needs time to forgett and she said that maybe it can develop into something...

>Life consists of posting here, doing housework, gaming, listening to music, heading to the shops when I need to and sleep
>Tfw make up stories to make my pathetic life seem more interesting
>Tfw said stories are usually found as fake straight away

Who here truly pathetic and beyond redemption?

>>35968276
If you're in London have lunch with me now. Since I got stood up and all.

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>>35965707
>don't really care much about others
>don't care much about myself either
>have good job in plumbing, makes me laugh a little to those baristas at Starbucks who are in permadebt for some gender studies shit or something else stupid
>constant intrusive thoughts
>try not to act out on them as much because I could do some serious time if I did but the urge to punch some people or set some shit on fire is rather strong
>just want to chill in Alaska for the rest of my life on my own land
>know that if I had a kid it would not have a good life partially because I am not that great of a person
>think relationships are futile as they will inevitably crash and burn and/or ruin your life
>childhood was full of shit (in some ways literally) and that probably had an effect on me

Here's my shitty feels. Planning on buying an accordion pretty soon.

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>>35965707
i wish i could function as a human, i really do

>>35968315

She cared that you did not give her attention, so maybe she is interested anon. Else she would have been happy for you to ignore her. Talk to her again but this time tell her the date that you will meet and what time. If she says she can't that day, tell her the ball is in her court and to get back to you. If she acts weird drop it.

Example: "I'm free on "so and so date" between "so and so time" so let's grab lunch before I have to "do so and so activity"

>>35968315
A lot of things can happen in one day.
Maybe she just forgott, message her and ask her this: Hey X do you remember when you said that we should do someting? i'm free at saturday i will come and get you at 6"

>>35968356
I'm from Argentina and sober, what a pity

>>35968297

Oh I have that. I don't post much, or ever, but I will add you. I will be but blast citi

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>>35968315
is that Harold?

>>35968386
>>35968398
Maybe. I might try again later but I'm still a blubbering virgin retard so there's that, and how she ended the message too. That felt fucking cold reading it.

>>35968326
if she's claiming to not be over her ex but going to parties and getting wasted, she's probably been having casual sex with guys she barely knows while she strings you along with this "ex" crap. that's how all women are. you're a squeeze toy to her at best. someone she trusts enough to vent her emotions at but doesn't find attractive enough for a relationship.

ironically, if you move on and leave her in the dust she'll probably change her tune and beg you to come back. ESPECIALLY if you start showing interest in other girls.

>>35968398

I would avoid phrasing it like that. It puts pressure on her to fulfill, which she may see as forceful or "creepy". Being creepy guy has given me a lot of insight on what makes people creepy. Reminding people of promises in situations like that may make the person come, but they will be an unwilling and resentful participant. Just my two cents.

>>35968413
Then get drunk and post tits please?

>>35968437
Maybe, but some people say it ain't.

>>35968431
Did you add me? I'm excited honestly

My snap chat is unknownfurry

>>35968467
She is a virgin.
The secret about her EX was that he tried to kind of rape her after she didn't want to have sex with him after 1/2 year of relationship because she didn' felt ready.

She also said that she trusted her EX very very much and that it felt like getting stabbed when she discoverd that he wanted to do such things.

And after some time she went full depression mode after things became quite.

>>35968467
Oh god, this is definitely true

>>35968326

Talk to her about other girls you like. You guys are friends, maybe one day something will happen, but that's obviously not today. So if she is your friend, she will support you (she needs to know this). People don't know what they have until it is gone. We are complacent, so people must be reminded so they do not abuse. She may freak out, but remind her that you are still the same exact friend you were before. Even offer to not mention other girls you see or like if it makes her feel better. Eventually, if she's interested, she'll get the pickings while the pickings are good.

>>35968556
She once turned in class and scream to the girl next to me "DON'T WORRY STACEY I WON'T TAKE ANON FROM YOU"

And she already has this kind of look when she sees me on old pictures wih the girlfriends of my friends.

>>35968476
It's 10am here, calm down honey

>>35968586

What did she mean by that? Like she was jealous?

>>35968595
I'd feed you sushi and get you drunk and then slap your ass but unfortunately you're on the wrong side of the ocean.

>>35968623
It felt like that.

Dunno if you saw the other thing that i wrote about her Ex but here :

She is a virgin.
The secret about her EX was that he tried to kind of rape her after she didn't want to have sex with him after 1/2 year of relationship because she didn' felt ready.

She also said that she trusted her EX very very much and that it felt like getting stabbed when she discoverd that he wanted to do such things.

And after some time she went full depression mode after things became quite.

>>35968595

Honey posting is wrong posting. Show big Argentinian titties or become anon again! Begone with you! This is a thread of pain and suffering.

>>35968651
So sad, I like sushi :(

>>35968661

Truly saddening. That is terrible, and I can see how that would deeply hurt. But the jealousy means she does care about you. Remember anon, people take things for granted. Do not become stool. Try what we have presented to you.

>>35968687
Are you free next weekend? I can fly over to Buenos Aires. Then we meet, I'll feed you sushi, and get you drunk.

>>35968729
I don't think ignoring her would work...
She is still in depression and sometimes when i say that i find her pretty she just replies with
"How can you find this monster face pretty Anon?"

If i ignore her she would just think that i don't like her anymore and she would stop doing something with me because she is so insecure?
And i think it would damage her.

Should i ask her if she wants to do something with me on the weekend?

>>35968326
This is crazy. They cultivate beta orbiters like master gardeners cultivate plants. There are BPD red flags all over this one but I can't exactly stop you from being taken in by the succubus. Just realize that if you actually want to get with her, she has to think she's in danger of losing you. You need to flirt with other girls in front of her.

>>35968373
one day that dude in the pic is going to actually follow through. If he really hates his life enough, it will happen. You just need to get enough of doing the same shit to hate it more than you hate doing productive things.

>>35968804

She wants to be friends, Then keep it strictly platonic. Pretend you have no penis and only want friendship with her. So no more beauty compliments, just be a friend. That is respecting her wishes. But if she is your friend, she should be let in your inner world. Which means talking about girls you find attractive and girls you want to see. With other girls, you do have penis. She has been clear with you, no? She wants no relationship. It's not about ignoring, it's simple about following through on what she wants. She cannot have emotional boyfriend but not want relationship. That is unfair to you. So you give her best friendship, but keep what is for girlfriend. That make sense?

>>35968326
>we should stay friends for now
>you are my best friend
> maybe it can dev
>maybe
WHEW LAD, tread carefully with this one lest you become a beta orbiter listening to her complain about the chad she eventually chose over you

>>35968916
no this is a beta male tactic that she will see through immediately. Girls are not that stupid. If you talk to them about other girls in front of them, they know you're doing it to make them jealous. It's not rocket science. Something that will actually work is literally abandoning her to talk to other girls while you're both at the same event. Do it casually and naturally and it will make her jealous.

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>tfw interested in qt girl
>we talk a decent amount over social media
>started flirting with her in person more
>she reacted pretty well to it
>finally think I've found a girl who likes me back
>she has a boyfriend

Don't know what to do now. I'm not sure if I should confess my feelings, back off and just try to be friends, or keep doing what I've been doing. What a situation I've got myself into.

>>35968917

Listen to this man. Like I told you strange girl anon, people are complacent and fickle. They forget who and what is good! Ungrateful is to be human. You must show that you are not there to be a plan z. If she truly wants friendship, then she will accept your attraction to other women and support you. But if she secretly wants to keep you to herself, she will try to take you away from other girls. Then you confront the reality. You cannot be friends but she keep you to herself as if she was girlfriend. Then her duplicity is revealed. You must test this anon. The future belongs to the bold!

>>35969004
You're a moron to even be considering confessing your feelings. I want you to trust me when I tell you this is a bad idea because you're too stupid to see it for yourself.

>>35968975
I already talked in front of her to other girls.
She became instantly kind of sad the rest of the night.

I have no clue how her fucking brain works.
I did not write everything down that we did but there are obvious signs that she wants something from me, btw i'm not the only one that says this, other persons that observerd everything confirmed that she kind of behaves like she wants something from me.
She once gave me a full fucking drawing from me and she often draws me in class.

But in the other hand she always kind of makes her worse than she is and interacts very weirdly with me.

But fucked it i think i should let her go.
I guess she is to instable for things like this.

>>35968975

Having a surplus mentality is beta? Letting people explicitly know you will not be their last ditch plan is beta? Your plan of abandonment sounds cruel and manipulative, mine is simply telling the truth. She wants friend? Give her friend. That means treating her like a platonic friend. Which entails talking about relationship with others. She wants relationship? Give relationship. She has to be let know that she cannot have both. Your solution is to walk away from problem and not confront fundamental issue, which is she wants both. You must confront the cognitive dissonance of wanting both. Unless making girls jealous is beta, I don't know what to say to you.

With girls that have trust issues, abandoning them may make them resentful or she may act negatively. She may even find someone that sympathizes with her when she is left alone. I find that cruel, there is no need for that.

>>35969099

Maybe that is wise anon. You know best, as you know this girl. Keep her as friend, true platonic friend (not beta orbiter relationship), and maybe one day something happens. Mind of women is crazy.

>tfw life is just depression and euphoria
>little friends in school, everyone thinks I'm either weird, awkward or just ugh-ish
>low self-esteem and consistently negative
>probably kiss less virgin
>likes shit nobody cares about; e.g. politics, philosophy
>get frustrated by how everyone seems so stupid and normieish (fucking popular kids opening top 40 on spotify for music)
>dysfunctional personality
>i become more and more sad as time goes on

>>35969095
I mean, it doesn't seem that bad of an idea to me. I was gonna just ask if she has a bf, and say that I was planning on asking her out. Idk, I figure it's the best way out; most likely she is going to reject me and I can move on, with a slight possibility that she responds positively. But what do I know, I've never had a GF before

>>35969115
Yes it's beta because you're telling her instead of showing her which is ridiculously transparent and pathetic. She will see it as a manipulation tactic, which it is. She will know she has him on the hook completely if he resorts to trying to make her jealous by talking to other girls. Actually treating her like a platonic friend is fine, and talking about other girls is fine if she asks, but bringing it up yourself is pathetic and desperate.

>>35969236
*taking about other girls

Talking to other girls is fine since it will show her what you want to communicate to her which is that she might lose you if she doesn't agree to date you. There is a difference between telling and showing.

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>All I want is a cute girl to cup my head in her hands and kiss me tenderly

I don't know why but I've always found the notion of someone cupping my cheeks really attractive.

>>35969236
Are you sure you are not projecting? Because you just agreed to everything I said. treat her as platonic friend: check. Talk to other girls in front of her: check. Talk about people you're interested in and want to romantically pursue: not check? It is silly anon, obviously we agree here. If you're going to pursue romantics interests anyways, who would you not mention it? It sends mixed signals and doesn't give her w chance to verbally communicate what her position is. Yours is a position of less Information. She does not know what he is doing and she will not bring it up.

Also It is not "obvious" someone is trying to make you jealous, because that is an interpretation of someone else's act, which always has plausible deniability. Why not apply that to him talking to other girls, which we both agree with, and say that is pathetically trying to make her jealous? You have double standard. You should remove yourself from silly binary thinking of "beta" and "alpha" when actions in and of themselves are neutral, it is how they are carried out. That's why you see wrote men dress up as women on Halloween. They do not care. You care too much about perceptions of you.

>>35969171
Yeah i think this is the best solution.
I will just do things with her as a friend and like she said maybe something happens.

I won't rush things i will just keep it chill and stay friends with her.

I woke up at 9:00 today, went to the gym, tried a lot a protein so i can bulk, came back at 11:00 and i've been crying since
I'm playing games from my childhood on the PC, and i have a coffee machine at my side so i can relax
I'm feeling sad, but life, a comfy-sad feeling

I hope you're ok anon

i feel so empty..
i don't know why but i just can't seem to be happy and i can't find any motives behind my unhappiness.
I feel like i'm lost. I feel like i'm an spectator of life, without actually living it, just watching days pass.
What should i do? Do i visit a psychiatrist or what? I kind of want to get out of this shit without meds..

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Hey op hope you anxiety subsides and thanks for making this thread and being a real swell fella

Anyhow I've been doing pretty well in social circles at my new job in this new town but no matter what I constantly feel like I'm a huge sperg
I can't put the past behind me and I can't see much of a future. Getting older and my escapisms have lost their magic I've spent my life waiting to die and it's just not happening I should have planned ahead at least I have money.
My father will never be proud of me and there is so little time left I just want to start a family but it's not an option anymore My family left and I'll never be able to start another.

thanks if you read this crappy blog post and if you don't reply to this post anime will never be real

>meet qt girl in class
>we talk and its nice
>she gives me a heartwarming smile when we talk
>add her on social media
>we talk there as well
>last sunday she deletes and unfollows me from everything
>don't think much of it, at least i tried
>during class she sits next to me, keep talking and pretending like nothing


i'm sad, lonely and confused

>>35970240
>trying to apply logic to girls

>>35970240
>>35970608

Can't you just man up and creep up to the social media subject so you can then confront her. If she really likes you its basically guaranteed she'll feel guilty and explain it all.

The few times I've talked this girl that seems to like me a lot about her blatant flaws she straight up melted and said she was gonna change and I did not have to worry anymore. The next day she even asked to talk to me before I left the school because she wanted to talk more. Didn't really change much but we're getting there.

Be wary tho if she's a crazy type you might just get called too fucking curious and be blasted with a fake rape accusation or some shit. If don't wanna do it because your scared sure, that depends on you and your judgement.

>>35965707

> be me
> awkward mess in high school
> decide to change everything about myself in college
> get fit, groom myself, talk to more people
> gets hard, but I eventually do it
> still crushed by how lonely I feel
> just want to be accepted unconditionally
> realize its not possible
> depression just intensifies
> living a hollow life as a normie

>>35969516

You have a social circle in the form of a job, friend some people there, maybe find a girl. If your standards match, you can just chat her up and battle from there, no pressure. Eventually you'll get it, there's niggas who get maried at 45 plus brother. Don't just expect that people will match you on Tinder or ask you out IRL. If you lose you at least did something of your life, even if that was being a chubby chaser or something similar.
Don't just wait to die.
You can always find someone desperate enough.

>Turning 24 next year.
>Been shot down by ever girl I've ever asked out.
>Every friendship I've tried to make with a woman results in them eventually deciding to blow me off until I stop talking to them even childhood friends.
>Unironically considering going full Adachi.

>be my bitch ass 3 years ago
>was always sociable, but in a retarded way
>start trying to change myself
>done
>now I'm a 7/10 extrovert who can easily make a normie laugh
>''shit look at all these gurls laughing at my jokes, lemme try to sex one up''
>if only I knew
>repeat the year
>start getting close to this one qt who is a repeater too and is distant to everyone
>everyone but this one guy because she known him for 3 years, hugs him from the back almost everyday
>''no interest in him'' said the bitch
>thought to myself ''i'm basically strolling through these tests, but that isn't enough''
>start studying
>become a pseudo-intelectual joker
>girl likes my pseudo-intelectuality
>I get real close to her
>she gives me the ''I wanna wife this guy'' look almost everyday
>one day she starts talking about what her boyfriend will be called
>tooclose.jpg
>took too much strength not to say my own name
>my friend told me I should have said it
>talking to her wednesday
>confront her ass because I want in on the hugs too
>''thats just the way I am''
>I get the maddest I've ever gotten when talking to a girl
>she feels bad for her incoherence
>''damn right'' I thought
>I threathen to change myself because she isn't responding to my current self
>I knew she liked me too much to just go ''fuck you den lets not talk anymore''
>''no anon don't do that''
>promises to change
>slowly changing
>20 million times more appreciative
>still no physical contact
>decide to go full reserved because heh why not
>talking in a circle of friends
>she joins in
>guy is commenting to girl how she'll get to a good uni because she got first in an entrance exam simulation last year
>girl I like goes ''well that really shouldn't be something you'd use as reference since he got first last year too and now he's with us''
>hugs me while laughing
>bitch what
Now she went back to being far from me. When the fuck am I gonna get actual contact?
Women are fucking puzzles.

>>35970748
this isn't really manning up.

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>>35971275
Its better than being left in the dark

>be me
>average, sometimes over, sometimes below
>doing master in IT right now
>hate myself
>feel better than anybody
>I love one girl
>she doesn't
>currently in realtionship i dunno even why
>spend days thinking about her

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>>35965707
>tfw when a girl said i look like a rapist
cmon man not cool

feels like i cant do anything right
wishing i would get hit by a truck some of these days