What's On Your Mind?- Comfy Thread

mirrors, secret doorways and hidden passageways

>>35959599
OP here, For the past year or more I seem to have the same level of tiredness, wake up tired, go to class tired, go home tired, go to bed tired, only to wake up tired again. Some days I come home really exhausted, but it's rare. I don't have any friends, 2 people consider me their friends, but they don't care about my feelings or problems or hobbies, they just pretend to so I listen to their interest and issues. Plan on leaving them behind soon, not now since I have to work with them for the remainder of the year.

I tired talking to girls and all while in high school, but to no luck. Just simply trying my best to be friends, anything intimate would grow naturally from there, at times I would directly ask them out. I made my mistakes, but a lot of the times I would get ghosted for no reason. And at times, some of those ghosters would try to talk to me again, but I wouldn't have it. 2 or 3 months of work trying to learn about them and find common interest going down the drain is nothing I want to repeat. I keep trying to find other people to connect with but as the years go by, both genders seemed to just be a waste of time, and I lose more and more interest with anyone at all. It sucks because I dealt with shitty people in my childhood and it seemed to follow me into my senior year of highschool. I tired not to let those people define my interactions and experiences with others, but it seems just impossible.

>tfw not even a big Mario fan but I think the setting to Super Mario Sunshine is the zenith of /topcomfy/

>>35959599
im going to listen to this as I sip nurturingly on my Sour Apple Four Loko

thanks OP "U"

>>35959599
>rain
its fucqing summer brah

>>35959634
cont.
I managed to be disapointed when I lower my standards more and more. It got to a point were I was just cautious of even opening up a little to person, by the end of the school year I probably won't open up at all, simply spin normie horseshit so they leave me alone. Now I just want to be alone, constantly, I see no reason for a freindship, or a relationship of anykind unless it's for the purpose of a job. I wonder if my issues with isolation has to do with my disability. Nothing major like downs, but it's clear that I'm in a wheelchair, decent looking guy, dark sense of humor, I've had made girls laugh, but never was really their freind. I'm not even in the freindzone with them, just kind of there like some omega without the creep factor. It's made me lean more to red-pill ideas, but I've seen the same with men too. I think there's deffinetly some truth in the red-pill, but some of it dosen't even hold up to common sense. I think some of he girls did indeed like me, or even like-like me, but mass media or what ever has taught girls and guys that men are Chads. The girls that had any interest in me probably thought they would be made fun of or something if seen in any relationship with me. Or maybe I'm just a horrible person? I don't think all women are terrible beings that want Chads, some do, and I don't care what I am to anybody at this point. I keep trying to find what I want from any rlationship I want from another human and it's nothing. I'm fine with masturbating, I rather do things by myself, and based on my past expirences and recent, any emotional validation, love, and or respect I wanted from another person, man or woman, was like asking coal miners if my kitchen was clean, wouldn't want it in the first place. So with no desire for sex, sharing emotions, or company why bother?

>>35959658
cont.
I'm doing poorly with my grades now and I've wasted the entire day playing vidya and this weekend is my only chance left, Sunday is possible but it needs to be 100% work so I don't if I can pull it off.

I plan on killing my self b/c I'm tired of this isolation battle, but the nice thing about suicide is that it can wait tommorow, as I keep telling myself. In the mean time Im just going to try to get into colege. I don't know for what specifically, but I think engineering design as I enjoy Solidworks, I know nothing of Auto CAD though. Also looking into graphic and web design, journalism, marine biology and forensics in general. Plan on moving out of my parents, I don't have a good relationship with them, but idk if that's financially viable so soon and given my handicap.


In reality though it's only a matter of time for when I say tommorow comes today, and just do it. I don't see a point in living or a point in dying. I used to be happy for a while, or mad, or sad, but now it's tired and hungry.

Typing this out has been catharthic and posting it feels nice as at least someone will read it and maybe feel the same way, just a bit.

Thanks for your time. Sorry for the wall of text....

having a good day makes me relax

with loved ones, in no place i'd rather be :) a moment for the books

apex

>>35959698
That sound nice :)

I miss this youtuber a lot. I hope he comes back one day. He might be dead though https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GR6P4QoaJN0

kekek https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QK7LvXBGTE

>>35959684
What is your disability?

orrrringal

https://www.bbc.co.uk/music/records/n49frp

>>35959793
Muscular Dystorphy, specifically Facial Scapula, Humerus. (FSH)

>>35959754
Thank you sharing, really enjoyed this.

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Trying to be comfy these past few days but can't seem to slip into comfiness. Having a review of my autismbux and I'm scared it's gonna be taken away.

>Can barely function in public
>Any sort of long exposure of being around people results in having panic attacks and becoming a nervous wreck
>Tfw they could expect me to work like that

Bad and worrying times ahead

>>35959754
No, he's not dead but he's busy with IRL shit. I don't know if he'll ever upload again, but I do talk to him occasionally on Facebook and G+ communities.

>>35959880
While I can't say I get panic attacks and fully empathize. I can mostly relate b/c I too get really nervous if i"m in public for a long time.

>>35959852
i'm glad you enjoyed it, he's one of my favorite content creators
>>35959934
I'm actually exceptionally glad to know that he's alive. If you ever speak to him again and remember this conversation, let him know there's an anon that wishes the best for him and that I'll always remember him and his content

>>35959880
Can I qualify if I have a bulged disc

I came to realise that ive spended more than half of my life in bed, im not disabled or sick, im 22 and the best years of my youth were me in my bed doing nothing, is just sad

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I'm going to the airforce at the end of May for basic, I don't really want to be a NEET anymore but just from MEPS I already have a good feeling the military will be hard as hell for someone like me with absolutely no discipline until this point. Have some comfy music for reading my blog

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdmSovWFhig

>>35960243
I feel you, I keep telling myself that time enjoyed isn't time wasted. So I end up procrastinating and sleeping a lot. The world doesn't seem to care or understand though....

>>35960280
I really enjoy the OoT vibe this song has in the beginning. Thanks for sharing anon, though I don't know anything about training for the military or what you are going through, all I can say is I hope it will work out for you, what ever happens.

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All I want is to reach the point of maximum simplicity possible. In my life, in my mind, in my activities. That taoist principle of "being without being", of pure awareness.

>>35960644
>"Being without being."
> the point of maximum simplicity possible. In my life, in my mind, in my activities.

That sounds like something I might pursue. Thank you for bringing up the idea. Mind if I ask how it's been working for you so far? How does someone start? I imagine "simple" doesn't necessarily mean throwing out my PC and vidya or dose it?

Well, right now I'm writing my book that no one will read, even though I had plenty of time to write it earlier today. But I write better the later it gets, I feel.

Also happen to be listening to my favorite song too, how perfect.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5s1q7SVs6U

Other than that, I'm planning to ask out a girl for the first time ever in May.

>>35960804
That's great to hear, the book and putting yourself out there!

Lots of people will say it's pointless (as I have myself), but the world isn't black and white. If it's something you know you want then go for it, it's worth it in the end. If it feels more trouble than it's worth then it might be just that. I learned that I don't really want a relationship and I just thought it would make me happy. Not to say you won't, just that everyone is different and that I hope this person makes you happy. Good luck anon, you won't need it though.

I like listening to old songs from my favorite Harvest Moon Game: It's another Wonderful Life.
Mostly this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uMF4K4g-lA&list=PLNDDdz25VA6Z_xSZqekTs1PANttlEsT7X&index=4 and this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRkHd-GMWGs&list=PLNDDdz25VA6bLTNsZcWpmnvARDN2mmIfv&index=22 on loop.
I prefer playing the girl version though cause I grew up watching mys sister play it. We never really learned how to grow crops. I milked the cows, dug up artifacts, and picked flowers. But I never grew a half decent tomato. I was too busy walking around town talking to people. They really could have done more with that game, so much cut content. Rocko is best husbando.

>>35960917
Thanks anon, means a lot. I'm nervous as fuck because she's a solid 9/10 and I'm barely a 5/10. I also don't know if she has a boyfriend or not. But hey, I got nothing to lose. So why the hell not?

>>35961012
That's the spirit, and in my experience it gets easier after every rejection. Not to say you will be rejected (you never know until you try), as some people are in a relationship, not interested, or not right for you, but let's not be too cynical either.

What matter the most is that you doing something that most people are scared shitless to do, and thus miss out. Massive props to you!

>>35961254
> the state of "flow", wherein you express yourself through some activity without your mind interfering, you just "lose yourself" in the moment.
>which is kind of an extended meditation, as your understanding of such a craft deepens until you reach mastery.

So like practicing origami or programming and electronics until I'm just so lost in it I just sort of flow into it? I could see it for origami, but with the ladder two, I don't know.

Guess I never will until I read the Tao Te Ching you mentioned. Thanks anon, I think this could really help me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9PAuWV-Vn0

>>35959614
Been reading Borges recently?

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I've been having lots of problems with my LDR bf lately. I'm a ridiculously sappy guy, so I'll regularly send him cute stuff, write poems (writefag) and let him know how I feel about him all the time. The problem is, he never does it for me. Like, ever. I think he's allergic to it or something, but it's starting to be really hurtful. Then when I let him know I'm mad, he punishes me for being mad by not talking to me. Is it really that much to ask that he lets me know he still likes me every once in a while?

Inb4 get out norman this is my first bf in 22 years and he's only online

>>35962835
Not everyone expresses their emotions in the same way. Maybe he's uncomfortable with that kind of thing.

>>35962944
Is it really that big of a deal though? Obviously I don't want it all the time, but it's been months since he's said anything like that.

>>35960804
>planning to ask out a girl in may
>is april first
literally improve or kill yourself
you are putting women on a pedestak
you are either extremely unworthy or autistic, there is no reason to wait long to ask a girl out for that long holy shit who do you think you

do you think life is some movie where you wait and she falls in love with you, how fucking united do you think the universe are you that fucking myopic and self centered
ask her out tomorrow/move on/ or kill yourself how delusional are you jesus fucking christ .

>>35959599

Drinking makes me relax. Also relaxing movies. I have a nice view out of my apartment which is comfy too. Also, having enough money to support myself for a few years is a really comfy feeling. Even though I'm a wage cuck I have dreams of quitting and doing my own thing in the next couple of years. That's what's on my mind the most these days.

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>>35959599

That song is decent but the title really kills it, sorry anon.