Are you in a state of constant fear too?? What are you afraid

Not anymore the older I get the more I feel like I could handle shit despite no skills or experience. 23 and NEET since 15. You will change with time too. We are survivors. We survive by any means necessary. That is what we do.

>>35933373
thanks, while this does really help, it feels like I've accidentally done something to anger God but I'm trying to convince myself that I'm just crazy.

Maybe it's just an easier way for my brain to not forgive myself

>>35932997
>constant fear too
Not fear.
Dry malaise and a sweaty slimey confused sensation.

I don't understand... Things.
My discomfort is comparable to a mental wet or dampness.

Like putting on sweaty clothes in the cold.
With a dry listless anger because no one is forcing me to do so.
Yet I feel tasked to.

>>35934679
Would you say an accurate word would be dreary?

Do you know why you feel this way? Maybe I can try to help, or at the very least give you a temporary boost of enlightenment

>>35935323
>Do you know why you feel this way
Of course.
Im a prudish antisocial young black man who genuinely enjoys elvis.

Also a homeless recluse.

>>35936319
A small thing that helps is to make eye contact and smile towards strangers whenever an opportunity comes, just don't try to force it or it will look creepy, it may seem hard at first but once you see the mutual respect that most people have, it isn't that bad, eye contact doesn't necessarily mean you have to start a conversation either. But that also doesn't mean that there aren't people going through their own issues or are just plain cunts who won't want to respond to you.

As for being black and enjoying Elvis.. That really isn't a problem or an addition to your personal feelings.

>>35936319
Ying Yang shit right here mate. White central european deviant homeless social recluse who enjoys wu tang too much. Life is weird

>>35936499
>As for being black and enjoying Elvis.. That really isn't a problem
It isn't directly indicative of my issues but you aren't really in the position to understand why you're wrong.


Your entire first part baffles me.

i just constantly feel inferior to everyone especially if they know something i dont (how to drive a manual car or truck, how to drive a lawn mower or weld)

where do you work, is it hard? i might apply to a job at costco soon just because being only around my uncle all the time can be annoying. but today at work i rewired the 2 wires that go to the tarp motor on a dump truck, took 45 feet of wire.

the only thing about getting a job somewhere else is i dont know what to expect. i like my job but sometimes my uncle just says stupid things like once when i was using a chisel to beat something out and he was like "hit it hard" and i told him i was just trying not to hit my hand and he was like "just hit it hard if you worry about hitting yourself youll never get good with a hammer, that stuff just happens" and i hit ot harder but that kinda stuff just makes me feel kinda mad. i already feel like a fucking pussy idiot all the time.

i do like drinking but i only smoke really, i dont think it hurts my health smoking like 4 a day but i do find myself clearing my throat a lot. at work every few months if i cough much (ive always had a cough) my uncle will say somethibg like "do you still use that vaping thing" or tell me something like "you need to stop smoking getting cancer would be bad" and hell he will run diesel teucks indoors with the doors shut and once it gets smokey just turns on a fan that is on the edge o the building at the top that sucks out air. diesel burns your eyes. an i just know that if i ever did get cancer he would say some shit like "well you brought it on yourself" and that just makes me mad

that shit kinda pisses me off, am i pathetic or acting like a retard?

>>35936889
Bumpo to red

>>35932997
I have ptsd, faggots

>>35938397
want to share what it was that did it?

>>35936829
sure I'm not in a position to see why I'm wrong, but I can DEFINITELY tell you that I've suffered and am still suffering from self hate.

The first step is to say fuck it and to whatever you can to accept who you are, be proudly antisocial and maybe you'll up yourself to be asocial instead.

>>35936889
If you're upset about something specific that you don't know about, the best thing you can do is learn, there is nothing more boosting to your self confidence than knowing something you've desire to learn about, even if it seems hard at first, you'll always get the hang of it eventually.

As for your uncle.. Don't listen to whatever he says, as long as you pay attention to yourself and do whatever it you want however you want. The fact that you have a sense of disdain towards him shows that you want to live by your own rules, so say "fuck it" and dismiss whatever he says and put matters into your own hands.

I'm not saying to do a complete 180 and hate the guy, just accept who he is, but only after you accept who you are and understand that you don't need anyone else's approval.

>>35938702
thanks for the reply man, i really appreciate it