Psychological Issues #18

So it's group therapy today? Two-for-one I suppose. I didn't have the opportunity to cover all the ground I had wanted to in session anyway.

>>35926260
>So it's group therapy today?

We'll see, it's an idea I threw around but I doubt it'll work.

How often to do you do group therapy?

>>35926401
Well, variety is the spice of life. I have one per week.

Today, I had a dissociative episode for what I believe was the first time in therapy and certainly the first in group. The result of this was that I have a blank space for part of my memory, though I remember general impressions such as a sort of tone to the conversation. I shifted into the female persona - the one who had felt abandoned over the weekend - and discussed events from her point of view. This was particularly relevant when talking to the woman who reminds me of my mother. Still, at least I didn't become hysterical or anything of that sort.

>>35926452

What did the others think of this? Did they notice?

Have you ever had this filmed?

>>35926489
They definitely noticed, and they responded differently accordingly. I've never had it filmed, and I don't think I'd be comfortable doing so. The main differences are things like intonation, body language and word choice.

Uh, I haven't been around here all that often lately but is this a thread where anyone can chime in and just kinda...vent?

>>35926614
Absolutely my man, but come up with a name just for the purpose of recognition. We don't use them outside this series of threads.

>>35926548

And you don't remember what you said then?

>>35926614

Yes. Do you want the archives? I have them saved from #8 up to now.

>>35926700
I remember the tone - defiant/ matter of fact - and I vaguely recall tone of voice, the way I was sitting and the way the woman smiled at me, and the therapist looked as though he was on the back foot until I came back to myself.

>>35926735

This begs the question: if you weren't in control, there, who was?

How do you understand this "alter" business?

I used to be very interested in demonology and possession, and I've read some stuff about it. Do you ever think you might be possessed? (I don't give this stuff much credit anymore, but I can see how DID could be perceived as possession.)

>>35926760
One of my facets is an angel. So yeah, possession was a possibility. Now I'm not really sure and neither is he. He's the religious part anyway.

>>35926806
>One of my facets is an angel.

Oh, OK. How do you get to know anything about your alters?

>>35926815
There's a certain amount of dialogue between us. Something my therapist has encouraged me to do is have a sort of 'meeting'. Each member holds these in different ways. For me, it's a shower in total darkness. There, I can listen and respond. In some cases I speak in a voice not my own, and without consciously thinking the words. That's severe splitting I suppose. But I'm sure I'd have been stoned or some such in decades past.

>>35926890

What have you been told is a solution to your disorder?

>>35927005
What I'm doing, essentially: listening to parts. The reasoning is probably relevant to you too: apparently you have the angel who protected me when my parents did not. You have the female part who's locked in victimhood.

It would be routine to silence myself, as I imagine you have
>Obviously my parents wouldn't have done that to me. I'm stupid. Stupid
>I must have liked what he did to me
>You liked it you stupid whore. You deserve it
Those are parental/ abuser intrajects. So whenever I get a bad feeling for example, I need to question why I feel a certain way and not dismiss it. If for example someone wanted to watch Beauty and the Beast but I didn't want to because it would have painful associations, there'd be the voice saying
>Get a grip, it's just a film. Don't spoil everyone else's good time
There'd be a part alone in the dark, unheard and ignored. Powerless. The film may get watched but there'd be a part terrified and sobbing somewhere inside my head.

Because that was the basis of the family unit for me and for you, it's important to make decisions based on agreement rather than coercion and placating.

So for example:
>You can drink this time, as long as you keep to yourself and after that you have to shut up
Is the kind of thing an abusive parent would say. I don't really have the answer to that one yet. I'm not sure how to meet the needs of that part.

Sorry, was on the phone.

>>35927147
>The reasoning is probably relevant to you too: apparently you have the angel who protected me when my parents did not. You have the female part who's locked in victimhood.

Not sure I'm following here.

>>35927765
Yeah, that was a bit all over the place. What I meant to say is that that explains their significance for me, and in your case you also lacked protection and a part of you is likely to have been unable to move beyond what was done to you; still afraid.

>>35927830

I don't feel fragmented, however. I don't feel safe, sure, but not divided.

>>35927954
Well, indeed. I wasn't suggesting that you had that same issue - only that you mustn't allow yourself to internalise the critical attitudes of your parents.

>>35928027

Oh, yeah. At this point, I don't even know if it's gone or not.

I mentioned CPTSD to my therapist, and we spent time talking about that.

I have a thing where new places generally freak me out. I often get this very nasty feeling. I feel very likely to feel sudden and intense depression, to the point where a new place can literally make me want to end it all, and it is as extreme as it sounds, for a place.

>>35928144
That is quite extreme. It can be surprising how different things affect others in outlandish ways. Someone in group mentioned how they'd been severely affected all week by looking up an unpleasant condition (harlequin icthyosis). As ever that didn't really make sense to me, until it became clear that it was actually about his own rejection issues and not for any outward-looking reasons at all.

>>35928349

Discovering yourself to be more fucked up than you ever imagined is quite something.

>>35928452
Ha, I haven't reached that point yet. I need to have a more unrecoverable breakdown or do something truly dreadful. With any luck that won't happen any time soon. It would take a major tipping point of some kind.

>>35928536

You already know yourself to be quite messed up. I'd imagine you've reached a ceiling by now.

Your share your consciousness with 3 other personalities, how much worse can things get?

>>35928556
Careful now, that sounds like a challenge.

>>35928608

If you like challengers, I'm sure I can find you something even more challenging.

Let's see...

If you could make a wish, what would it be?

anyone here figured how to deal with a narcisstic father? i'm done, really done. mine he is being angry and saying mean thhings to me, he has no problem hitting me. even though he knows i'm right. he hit me again today, and got angry. he becomes angry really quick, like it's candy. i talk to him calmly and i win, he couldn't think of a comeback so he just hit me, and said that he didn't want to see me and that he will never forgive me no matter what. it's like i just did something to his pride. he didn't want to be talked against no matter how silly the things he accuses of other people. he talks over me. he doesn't try to be understanding.
...? :(

>>35928714

I feel for you, but keep this in mind: you won. You made him your bitch because you reached his ego, which is hurtful to people like that. He failed, and on some serious level, he knows it. He won't "forgive" you even though you did nothing wrong; in reality, he cannot forgive himself having failed to maintain his false ego, and that any crack in that is unsufferable.

You did well, but now you need to think of yourself only, and forget him. That means, don't play with fire, but do defend yourself. Do not care what he "thinks".

If it gets physical, tell him you'll call the police for physical assault next time he tries.

Be calm, but stern.

>>35928633
I'm afraid it's not going to be a very exciting answer. I'd want to have something like demi-god status. Great power and influence, superlative physical and supernatural abilities, and to be worshipped.

To dial it back though, I suppose you might laugh at this but what I dreamed was to be a pro-wrestler, a lecturer and someone with the clout to help. An influential figure who could shine light on injustice and help those whom the world had turned from.

>>35928806

Now try to guess what I was expecting you to say.

>>35928844
Alright... I think you expected something like the first answer.
>Total power, mwahaha
Something like that.
Or perhaps something more like
>For mummy to love me
Or wait
>To not feel afraid anymore

Any of those?

>>35928903

"To have had a normal childhood with good parents."

>>35928806
>I'd want to have something like demi-god status

What's the primary motivation for this? I mean, beyond power. What do you seek to achieve with power?

>>35928930
The world is unpleasant and unjust. If I had more control, I could do a better job. I think I'd probably rampage for a while, but then settle into it and become dedicated to benevolence. I'd like to be able to put an end to suffering. My own, and everyone else's. Destroying everything is too much of a cop out; I think I could do better than throwing in the towel.

>>35928920
That's too sensible an answer. Besides, if I have one wish that's a fairly low goal. Everyone else had that, after all. I'd much rather be better than everyone else, than to accomplish parity given the choice.

>>35929006

The weird thing to me is that you seem to have positive goals, but before you get there, it's like you need to do more harm. To take revenge on the world, to bring balance to the Force, to get some reciprocity, as my Buffalo Bill would say.

>Everyone else had that, after all. I'd much rather be better than everyone else,

If had had that, you wouldn't feel any need to be superior to anyone else. You'd already know to be superior in being yourself (beeee yourself, reeeee normie, yadda yadda).

>>35929097
You can hardly say only people with personality disorders desire to be at the top of the pile. People long to outshine their peers.

As to the balance to the Force idea, I prefer to think of it in terms of Two-Face from Batman. I find him interesting and relateable (and if you've read any of his stories you'll find that he's not as simple as the Tommy Lee Jones movie would indicate).

>>35929529
>You can hardly say only people with personality disorders desire to be at the top of the pile. People long to outshine their peers.

Not sure I was saying that. Thing is, if I see a pile of shit, I do not long to be on top of it. That's for flies.

As to Batman, some of the "graphic novels" (I hate that self-hating term) are good, specifically the Arkham Asylum one, the one with paintings for each panel. It's pretty dark as fuck, and each villain is a metaphor for something; Clayface is AIDS and he needs to "spread his love to ease his pain" and such.

I'll post some pics.

I have some issues with the parental figures in my life. I grew up with a critical mother who is never happy. I can't remember the last time my parents told me they were proud of me. I mean, I used to be a POS who fit right in on this board, but I've turned my life around and am even getting married later this year. I never did drugs or committed crimes. I was very well behaved and a virgin until I met my fiance. But my mom wanted me to be a popular, blonde cheerleader like she was.

When good things happen to me, I always want to call my mom and share the good news with her, and she never fails to criticize me instead of celebrate with me. I am constantly disappointed in her reactions but I want her to care. It would be easier if I didn't. My dad is happy for me, but it feels like my mom resents me the more successful I become. She goes on Facebook and lies about being involved in my life to look like a good parent, but she's actually pretty estranged from me. Before I moved out I helped take care of her after an accident. She lives like a child and I couldn't take the burden of it when I was starting my career. Our relationship doesn't hold me back in life, but it is a constant source of unhappiness and disappointment. I cannot force her to change. I have talked to her about it before. I just want to be happy and not always worry about being emotionally hurt by her lack of concern for me.

>>35929767
Cool, thanks. Clayface has a fair bit going for him as well. There are several of them, but the one I know was an actor who lacked a cogent sense of identity.

If the shitpile is all there is, if you're on the top at least you're not buried under it.

>>35926221
Hey Nick. I have problems with trusting people, a

>>35926221
Hey Nick. I have problems with trusting people and generally caring for them.

>>35929843
Please disregard this one. I fucked up, and sent it prematurely.

>>35929785

Read about narissistic parents, your mother fits right in there.

Do not share important things with her, do not invite her to your wedding. I am dead serious.

She will fuck it up for you somehow. You will always regret it for ever after.

Keep her away from everything that matters to you. Do not be hurt by her attempts to guilt-trip you, because she will.

Cut bridges. You don't have to go no contact with her if you don't want to, but STOP telling her about yourself. It will only hurt.

Mourn the mother you never had. She never loved you and never will, because she can't.

It's one of those few cases where you must just give up. Give her up. Abandon any idea of her ever being a real mother to you. You, like myself and others here, never had a mother. You had a spawner. Little more.

I'm sorry for your loss and hope you can cope.

Read the link on narc parents.

>>35929809
dsadsadsadsadsadsadsadsadsa

>>35929809
>If the shitpile is all there is, if you're on the top at least you're not buried under it.

It's warmer inside. That said, I'm standing on my own pile, and mine is made of cool seashells.

>>35929861

Can you trust your parents?

>>35929913
Maybe that's the issue. Maybe I'm just too used to the smell to leave.

>>35930007

Bond trips.

>>35929935
No. I don't trust anyone to perform properly. I don't trust people's motives either.

>>35930069

Sex dubs.

>>35929900
How do I mourn it so I can get past it? I'm already bitter but I want to change. I can give up, but I need help not being a little angry.

>>35928768
i wonder if this will put an end to his narcissism? i'm scared of the things he'll do to me from now on. what if he tries to ruin my life, what am i going to do? i can expect that from a person like him. he even said to me that he has no mercy toward me... it hurts.

>>35930081

Do you know why?

>>35930122

You will be angry, and that will be fine. That's a phase you must go through: you have every fucking right to be angry at this point. Very angry.

I was so angry I considered murder, brutal murder (though in my case, baby-raping was potentially involved, so it helped with the rage).

Be angry, let whatever you feel happen. Learn to have the right to feel everything you feel and have no limits on that.

To mourn it, realise you never had what is considered a mother by normal standards. You had a person who made you feel bad and couldn't think of anyone but herself. You never had a mother. Once you accept that and feel like an orphan, that's when you can mourn it.

If you feel like you want her to be proud of you, you have mourning left to do.

>>35930197
I've just experienced that when I want something or expect something from someone they usually fail, or they just don't do it. Also my whole childhood was supposedly fucked up, but I don't remember much of it. The only person I can truely trust is my Dad.

>>35930162
>i wonder if this will put an end to his narcissism?

No. The only thing that will put an end to his narcissism is death.

>what if he tries to ruin my life, what am i going to do?

He may. They don't all act the same, but he will never like you and never has.

> he even said to me that he has no mercy toward me... it hurts.

Don't be hurt, but believe him. They sometimes speak the truth about the bluntest crap. He means it. He really has no mercy, and you should expect none, because you will get none.

Sever yourself emotionally from this person. Mourn.

You aren't alone, many of us here have "lost" their parents due to realisation of what they were.

Join us.

>>35930260
>The only person I can truely trust is my Dad.

That's a start.

>>35930323
No, because I'm losing faith in him too, but I know I can trust him if I REALLY need help.

Facet, if you're around, know that I'm slow because I'm doing ten million things at once, but I really want to hear more from you.

When and why did you start seeking professional help?

>>35930345

Any BPD issues with you?

>>35930361
I don't really care about people. I can easily change my emotions to what I want them to be. My relationship is stable, but I might be abusive. I typically just ignore people. I'm not really an insecure person. I'd say the only problem is regarding my relationship.

>>35930471
>I'd say the only problem is regarding my relationship.

What happens?

(And get a name.)

>>35930355
Sure, I'm still here. I was first put into 'play therapy' right after it all came out. This involved therapy alongside my abuser, who had been threatening me with worse than death if I ever told, just to refresh your memory. After that, various child counsellors.

After that there was a psychiatrist, and various college counsellors. More assessments and then finally the psychotherapist I've been seeing for a few years.

I started mostly for chronic depression and anxiety, cutting, alcohol, volatile moods and so on. It was becoming a major impediment. It still is, really. I'm not able to live a normal life.

>>35930525
I just smack her ass a lot, and insult her. I do compliment her, but it's usually after an insult. I also don't really about her feelings. I'm pretty good at changing them.

>>35930531
>I was first put into 'play therapy' right after it all came out. This involved therapy alongside my abuser, who had been threatening me with worse than death if I ever told, just to refresh your memory.

Details! How old were you? What is "Play therapy"? Sounds absolutely terrifying.

I keep wondering what it'd be like to meet you. I know I'm something special to damaged people.

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Hey, reposting stuff I wrote since I didn't get any replies yesterday

I get panicked and obsessed over really dumb things. Almost always trying to pick between stuff or trying to decide what fits me more. Every time I come to this kind of question from as mundane as picking something in a game to what to eat to what career to go into, I become obsessed over it and freeze up as self depricating thoughts and anxiety regarding it eat at me as I annoy people I barely know by asking them. I talk myself out of everything and am overambitious, talking myself out of art or music by saying ill never be good or creative anyways, I don't have any talent, and that there's no point since I'd never be successful with it or make it into a career. I can't stop being so obsessed with the idea of talent. I'm not able to enjoy anything.
I get minor panic attacks regularly when I'm in school and had the biggest one I've ever had this semester and dropped out because of it.
I have no self esteem and can't enjoy anything.
I have no real life friends.
I find it hard to leave bed in the morning.
I'm too much of a pussy to end it.
I got groomed by a pedo online when I was 14 as my first relationship but I was old enough to know better probably and its not like it was against my free will
I've been made fun of at home and school since I was a kid
My parents would say mean shit and hit me occasionally but other people had it worse
I have a penchant for attracting sociopaths
When I was 10 a kid tried to down me in a pool and I managed to get away as everything was going cold and black and my dad called me a pussy for crying to him about it
I don't have to motivation to even watch tv or keep proper hygeine
I'm horrified of therapists and don't think my issues are worth seeing them over since its just me being autistic or sad.

>>35930679
I think you'd probably find me to be boring in person.

I have no idea what they were thinking. I suppose I was nine or ten. They just give you a load of toys and then ask you searching questions that you'd rather not answer in front of your rapist, and how you feel about things. The only thing I remember clearly about that time was a xenomorph queen toy with a button on the back that made the wings flap. Beyond that I think I avoided eye contact mostly.

>>35930585
>I just smack her ass a lot, and insult her.

How about you stop?

>>35930725
>Every time I come to this kind of question from as mundane as picking something in a game to what to eat to what career to go into,

See Dependent Disorder.

>I'm horrified of therapists and don't think my issues are worth seeing them over since its just me being autistic or sad.

All right, I'll start there. You are worth my time. You don't get to say no because that is my opinion and not yours. My opinion is that you are worth my time. Your issues are serious, even grave, and the only reason why you can't think that is because you don't value yourself enough to do so, but I value you and I know the gravity of your problems.

There are plenty of things I'd like you to check:

>narcissistic parents
>complex PTSD (very likely you have it)

Everything you wrote is textbook, there are solutions for you.

Also check out Richard Grannon on YouTube, people-pleasers. Go!

I'm with you now.

>>35930743
>I think you'd probably find me to be boring in person.

I've never found anyone boring one on one. Everything is intense as fuck to me. Rather than boring, I might find you peaceful, though I'm not sure.

I wonder how you'd react to me.

>play therapy
>not even once

Don't they THINK that maybe your parents had something to do with it?

>>35930312
i see. thanks friend.
i wish for everybody here a good life. it is indeed very hard.

>>35930780
Like I said, I don't see why I should, because if she gets uncomfortable I can easily make her happy. I don't think I should care.

>>35930853
Sorry, forgot to use my name. I also don't think it's too bad if she gets hurt, and I derive some sense of satisfaction when doing this.

>>35930853
>Like I said, I don't see why I should,

Do you see why you do it to begin with? That may be a reason to want to stop.

>>35930816
Is there anything by him in particular that I should watch?

>>35930929
Nevermind, I just realized that people pleasers was the video name.

>>35930929

People-pleaser video. Good start.

>>35930838
They may have asked how things were at home. I can't say I really remember. I don't think my parents were ever questioned in the least. I certainly wouldn't have considered that they'd done anything wrong.

As to my being calm, I think I probably come across as polite but tightly wound around new people.

>>35930898
I think it's funnny.

>>35930992

Do you realise that's messed up?

I'm so depressed. It's a constant crushing depression that doesn't go away. I can't get motivated, I seclude my self, and I can't change anything. I can temporarily escape it through videogames, but it won't go away in real life.
My parents are shitty, but I can't escape them because of my brother. I can't leave my little brother. He's all I have and I love him too much.
I don't want to visit a therapist. I think learning that there is something wrong with me would completely break me.

>>35931005
I'm told it is, but I don't feel it.

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>>35931034
>I don't want to visit a therapist. I think learning that there is something wrong with me would completely break me.

Friend: there's something wrong with people around you, that's what you'd learn in therapy.

There is obviously something wrong with you since you've listed the whole thing. So you know, it's not news. But you don't know what and why. It would liberate you because it's not your fault.

Read the links I advise in the OP.

>>35931054

Have you checked antisocial personality disorder?

>>35931087
I've heard of it. With the psychopaths, and such. Do you have any other questions?

>>35931136

Yes, what are your parents like?

>>35930816
I'm still here watching this. One thing that struck a chord is no sense of self, which I strongly feel I have. Or rather, don't have? Basically I'm saying I dont know who I am. I just try to act in the way that I think the person will like the most. I don't know anything about myself or what I like or don't like, etc.

While I remember, I might have figured out a way to use my experiences in a positive manner. There's a doctorate relating specifically to trauma and the study of it, and I could potentially advance my career through its acquisition.

>>35931244

Very indicative of a narc parent, to whom you have no real psychological existence.

>>35931294

Dude, are you a freaking therapist yourself?

>>35931165
My Dad was a normal guy, and worked hard. He can be mean at times, but it's only ever words. He tries to be fair and honest. Although when he was a he kid, he had anger issues. He would hurt people until they were nearly dead. I don't know about my Mom's childhood, but when my parents divorced she quit being a good parent. She began neglecting my brother and I. Eventually, I moved in with my Dad. As I have said before, he was the only good person in the most critical situations.

>>35931371
Well, it would make sense wouldn't it? A lot of therapists do have psychological problems of their own - as do a great many psychology students, for that matter.

>>35931416
What are yourss?

>>35931452
In a nutshell, I have a Cluster B personality disorder incorporating dissociative episodes/ possible DID.

>>35931380
>but it's only ever words.

The worst abuse was words to me. And that's from someone who got bitch slapped so hard as a 5-year-old that I fell to the floor.

>He tries to be fair and honest. Although when he was a he kid, he had anger issues. He would hurt people until they were nearly dead.

Notice you said he tried, not that he was. Your dad concerns me quite a bit.

Mom worries me as well.

>>35931416

Yes, it would make sense, that's why I'm concerned.

As long as you don't use your job to abuse people, I can understand and be fine.

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>>35931467
>possible DID.

Possible? POSSIBLE?

The man has 4 personalities fucking around in his brain, with individual names and all, but it's just a possibility.

I was depressed and socially anxious and read loads of self help books etc to help me.
I found jewels in all of them but the thing you have to understand is that YOU KNOW how to be social, YOU KNOW how to be happy. Youve felt it before, even if only briefly.

The problem isn't that you dont know how its that you've forgotten how and locked yourself in a cycle of unhappiness.

Here is the solution

Are you ready?

its so simple that you wont believe it

Okay here it is:

Relax.

Thats it.

At various points throughout the day just say to yourself, 'shit nigga let me just relax'

Stop talking so much, stop complaining so much, go out at every opportunity if youre antisocial.

All you have to do is fucking relax. Most of your problems are problems, but worrying is a problem.

cont.

>>35931452
That sucks man. What childhood trauma could have caused the DID? To relate, I have a friend that has DID, and he's got about 7 different personalities. He was most likely raped as a child.

>>35931532

cont.

The secondary part of this solution is positive affirmations. Create who you want to be in your mind and just believe it. This part is about 90% body language and 10% language, because confident people dont actually talk much.

The twist in the secondary part has much to do with the polarity of life: you cannot be a 'nice guy' and be successful.

Let me break this down:

If you exhibit confident body language, the counter side is that that same body language that makes you look confident is the body language that makes you a threat to other males.
If you exhibit submissive body language then you will only be attractive to people who are looking for submission in others, either to validate themselves or to use you.

If you want to be successful you have to basically practice the body language of a cunt, but not necessarily be a cunt (this part comes later when you have learnt to relax)

THIS IS GOING TO COME WITH COMPETITION.

Life is a competition. Thats just the fact of the matter. Its not that serious. Relax

key points to take away

> always stand up straight
> never look at the ground
> try not to fold your arms
> take up space
> low eyebrows
> dont focus on what other people think when you do things, focus on whether you are maximising how masculine you are
> dont look at what other people are doing as you go about your life (people will start to look at you when they realise you dont care about them)

Happy to provide more advice. Reply to this with your problems so I can laugh at your patheticness internally and tell you how to solve your problems (remember, everything is polar)

They key is to relax niggas!

>>35931533
>raped as a child
That'll do it

>>35931508
Alright, you've got me there

>>35931494
As I've said before, I take my job very seriously and don't let my own issues interfere. You needn't worry about that. Call it a perk of having a partitioned identity if you like.

>>35931532
>YOU KNOW how to be social, YOU KNOW how to be happy. Youve felt it before, even if only briefly.

Not necessarily, no.

>The problem isn't that you dont know how its that you've forgotten how and locked yourself in a cycle of unhappiness.

Many have never learned, it's not innate. Most get it from their parents. Healthy human interactions teach you to respect your own boundaries and those of others; you learn to trust and be trusted. If you've only ever been abused and manipulated with words, you'll be fearful of others as you grow up and socially impaired as an adult.

Sees like the self-help books you read were full of shit and the only person who got any "self-help" from them were their own authors. Sick ass burn.

>its so simple that you wont believe it

>Okay here it is:

>Relax.

>Thats it.

Sorry to be blunt and technical here but please choke on dick. People with PTSD or C-PTSD can't just relax. It doesn't happen because of sheer will. That's utter bullshit.

There are solutions but they're more serious than just wistfully telling yourself to relax, which no one here with any serious form of anxiety can do.

Apologies for being rude to you but I'm not a patient man today.

>>35931481
My Dad was never abusive as far as I remember. What I mean by only words, is he'd just tell me to shut up in a slightly raised voice. It's not him saying anything more than that. The reason why I say "tries" is because he wasn't always fair. I was treated better than my brother. He may have been too harsh on him, but to even it out, my brother did bully me every chance he got. He was the most abusive.

>>35931555
extra info:

> smile in the mirror every morning
> watch things where you see how shit other people have life and use it to make yourself feel better
> remember that most people are actually nice in their mind, but they act like a cunt because they either think they have to act this way or they cant actually help what theyre doing.. or for some kind of self preservation

Remember practicing cunt body language such as low eyebrows, slight smirk when something happens to someone else, subtly looking into the distance when people try and talk to you so that they try harder to get your attention etc, will make you feel uncomfortable at first, but if you literally practice for like 4 days it will become natural

>>35931555

Trips. I won't respond, it wouldn't be any good. I'm sure this is sound advice for normal people with no serious issues (and such people don't need this advice to begin with), but what we're dealing with here is way more serious.

All of these things you will adopt naturally as you heal and feel better, but the hard part is healing.

> Reply to this with your problems so I can laugh at your patheticness internally and tell you how to solve your problems

All right, forget my apologies. Just choke on dick.

>>35931592

Provided you're well-intentioned, I can imagine you doing a good job. At least you know what you're dealing with first hand.

I often wonder if my therapist was raped/molested. She has strong reactions sometimes.

>>35931621
>What I mean by only words, is he'd just tell me to shut up in a slightly raised voice. It's not him saying anything more than that.

That's all it takes. I work with children and young people all the time and I absolutely never need to do this. I have never needed to tell any of them to shut up in a raised voice.

>The reason why I say "tries" is because he wasn't always fair.

Exactly what I feared.

Dig into it, there's more than you think.

>>35931618
>>35931618
>>35931618
You used to socialise as a baby so this response is bullshit

Self help books actually help because they provide you with small techniques that you can use to build your personality and happiness.

You're an idiot if you think gaining knowledge about how to be confident and attractive isnt helping you. Thats like saying that paying money to go to the studio every day is only benefitting the studio owner.. no because the practice you are accumulating is building towards your success.

> People with PTSD or C-PTSD can't just relax

Once they eventually sort out the deep rooted psychological issues, their key to remaining happy will to be relaxed.

Most people dont think about bad things if they have a good as fuck day.

>>35931727
I wouldn't be surprised. I know my own therapist has some severe issues around his own parents. I've never been able to work out whether it's a test or not but he says he has an extreme, mortal terror of pears and that he would discharge me or anyone else on the spot if they came in eating one.

>>35931635
> smile in the mirror every morning

If you don't feel happy, you'll only feel worse from this. Guaranteed to create more self-loathing. Be honest with your feelings in the mirror, the rest is American bullshit to make the economy work, "Smile like you mean it". This is your life, not a business.

> watch things where you see how shit other people have life and use it to make yourself feel better

Only works if you're a piece of shit with zero empathy.

> remember that most people are actually nice in their mind

Being an idiot who doesn't know about people who aren't nice at all is not recommended. Many people are "evil" and they want to be.

Please stop posting, man. You're toxic.

>>35931787
>their key to remaining happy will to be relaxed.

Being relaxed comes at the end, not at the beginning.

You're out of your depth. But I'll just let you see that for yourself with other people's reactions.

>>35931799
>mortal terror of pears and that he would discharge me or anyone else on the spot if they came in eating one.

Ask him if he was penetrated with some pears. Probably it.

>>35931709

> gets emotional at other people laughing at them when they dont even know them in real life

See this is what I'm talking about, this is the shit I used to do. Stop being a fucking bitch man, you'll be surprised how many of your 'problems' solve themself

Everything in life is a dichotomy. No one is going to be 100% good to you.

Life is never going to be perfect. You have to relax and accept this. It doesnt mean that you cant be happy.

Everything is also mental. Stephen Hawking is in a fucking wheelchair.. Stevie wonder is blind and that nigga is smiling literally 100% of the time.

Your problems arent problems, your mindset is the problem.

>>35931765
I bet there is, but I don't want to hate him. I know I will. He's the only person I have to look up to anymore. If I don't have him to look up to, I will forever hate the world. I'll also lose my entire faith in humanity. Essentially, he's the only thing tying me to my morals.

>>35931080
It is my fault though. I read these abuse things and can't help but think that my situation is different. My parents would always tell me how much they loved me, and if they did anything wrong, it wasn't on purpose.
I mean, they had worse childhoods than I did. Both of them were actually neglected and hated by their parents.
Sorry it took me so long to respond. I don't get words out very easily.

>>35931861
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pear_of_anguish

>Though there is little or no evidence of its being used by bandits, there are a number of extant examples of ornate and elaborate, pear-shaped devices with three or four leaves or lobes, driven by turning a key that rotates the central screw thread, which spreads the leaves. These are generally held in museums devoted to the subject of torture, and are described as instruments of torture by distension or evisceration. Some, but not all, have small spikes of uncertain purpose at the bottom of each leaf.

>>35931845
no I'm fucking not youre just a little faggot bitch that blames everyone for their problems instead of working every fucking day to improve themselves.

Thats the different between me and you.

When I embarrass myself in front of the world and get cut off from my social groups, get addicted to drugs etc. I realise that I have becomea submissive faggot and a piece of shit and I take steps to improve my life.

You instead bitch about your problems.

The first step IS relaxing. I'll tell you why:

you need to be relaxed and open to hear when someone like me tells you youre a fucking faggot.

Because youre so uptight, when I say it to you you get defensive instead of having a fucking epiphany.

The day you finally realise I'm right will be the day you wake up and think ' holy fucking shit I am such a fucking faggot bitch and THIS is the cause of my problems, not some gay shit that happened years ago.

The measure of a man is their ability to withstand adversity. If you take anything from my posts, take that.

Also read 48 laws of power. thatll help as well.

>>35931876
>gets emotional at other people laughing at them when they dont even know them in real life

You're making stuff up. I didn't think you were laughing at me. I didn't see that anywhere. I didn't even think the comment was meant about me, and I don't think it was.

My response to you was in defense of other people coming to this thread, reading your stuff.

The rest of your post is nonsense.

Personality disorders aren't "mindsets", and as long as you don't get that, nothing you say will work for anyone.

Your understanding of stress, happiness, confidence, etc, is lacking in very serious areas. But that's what you get from reading self-help books. You do sound like a bad self-help book.

Now stop projecting on me and start choking on some serious cocks.

>inb4 acting like a little bitch because I said mean things about you and trying to act like my reaction is yours

>>35931928

Sever emotional ties. He's not God, even though he may sound like it. There are other humans on the planet, and many are very nice.

>>35931812
LOL

> Be honest with your feelings in the mirror
please no one take this advice.

This should be your mood when you smile in the mirror
'god im such a fucking fake faggot, but Im a fucking cunt so let me just keep smiling at myself in the mirror ooh let me look myself in the eyes, so pathetic what a bitch but let me just keep doing it ahaha *winks at self*, *flexes muscles*, god look how sexy I am'

Thats your frame. Its like how white people copy trends that black people set. They first copy them IRONICALLY as if to make fun of us, but everntually as times goes on and they keep dabbingg and keep saying 'my nigga' and keep saying 'lit' etc. the line between irony and truth blurs.

When you first do this stuff, do it ironically because then you can laugh at yourself as you do it and this will release endorphins that will make you feel good when you do these things

>>35931964
>t is my fault though. I read these abuse things and can't help but think that my situation is different. My parents would always tell me how much they loved me, and if they did anything wrong, it wasn't on purpose.

I've heard that crap too. Saying they love you is very different from actually loving you. Doing wrong things and saying sorry for it is different from not doing wrong things and not having to say sorry for them.

>I mean, they had worse childhoods than I did.

I've heard that too. That's no excuse. And it may not even be true. They can't know or compare.

> Both of them were actually neglected and hated by their parents.

And they chose to have kids themselves before learning to be healthy people themselves. Now you pay the price of it.

Don't worry, express yourself at your own pace. Your rules here.

>>35931965

I know this device (not personally).

You think he was tortured with it?

>>35932010

this is why youre a bitch and you will never be happy. because you cant see when the answer is staring you in the fucking face.

I dont even care about you guys Im just sharing what I did to get my out of my low self esteem and depression because it makes me feel good

>>35931985
>no I'm fucking not youre just a little faggot bitch

I'm convinced.

>that blames everyone for their problems instead of working every fucking day to improve themselves.

Come back when you've learned about child psychology and its developement until adulthood. Or just read more self-help books from people who don't know jack.

I haven't read the rest of your post. Take a name so I can ignore your posts more quickly.

Don't forget to choke on massive cocks, too.

>>35932026
It's nothing emotional. I don't really think I actually care for people at all. It's just principles. I'm only caring so I don't lose all value. Without this, I'd gladly face anything whether I'm guaranteed to die or not.

>>35932119

I used to think the way you do, and that's how I actually avoided the truth for decades. It's not healthy.

Sometimes your problems are caused by other people and you can't move on for as long as you think you're responsible.

In your case, you were most likely a little bitch whose problems were minor and which could be solved by just manning the fuck up.

But don't try to sell your crap to people whose father held them underwater for sheer sadistic pleasure. You don't have a clue what you're talking about.

I've ignored your other posts. Didn't even read.

>>35932125
FUCK YOUR CHILD PSYCHOLOGY everyone was fucking touched as a fucking kid, thats what people fucking do. People have all sorts of fucking issues

>>35932458
>FUCK YOUR CHILD PSYCHOLOGY everyone was fucking touched as a fucking kid, thats what people fucking do. People have all sorts of fucking issues

Well, at least we know where your issues come from now.

I hope you will soon see through the bullshit and start some real healing.

>>35932094
I was joking - though that would be a twist. I admire your patience in persevering with the edgelord by the way.

>>35932580
I'd have to agree. Good job Nick.

>>35932580
>I was joking - though that would be a twist.

You're joking again.

>another twist
>twist of the pear

>>35932580
>I admire your patience in persevering with the edgelord by the way.

I used to be far more dedicated. I used to respond to every damn thing they'd say and be nice about it too. Now I believe that healthy boundaries also are about knowing when to tell someone to fuck off, or choke on fat dicks.

I realise I used to feel guilty if I didn't manage to convince those people, giving them way too much power. I was easily trolled because I cared so damn much. I feel way better now.

>>35932629

Thank you. Prepare to be called a samefag, no doubt.

>Nick in his own thread
>with his 9 alters
What a twist!

>>35932711
Kek

Originalginoli

>>35932711
Wouldn't that be something? If the anon who comes to complain about the thread every evening had just been shouting into the void as one man talks to himself until he's bored?

>>35932072
I don't know how to feel. I want to believe them. They would always tell me stories from their childhoods and how they grew from it. Then they'd tell me how good we have it and how they would never put me through what they went through. Hell, they still do it even though I'm 21.
Its like I said though, even if I could accept that my parents are the problem, I can't leave them. My mom rants to me a lot and tells me that if I didn't live here, she'd move because she hates my dad. My dad hates my mom too.

>>35932830

Yep, that'd be something. Personality Disorders are a form trollage from the mind about itself, I suppose...

>>35932850

Your parents sound toxic. Focus on how you feel with regards to what they say. And DON'T DOUBT IT. My parents told me similar things for years and years and I never saw through the bullshit until recently. Guilt-trips, etc, all abusing the fact that I was a caring person and took to heart to be a good son.

I tried to act as a good parent to autistic children, and that's how I managed them before I knew what they were. Now I know they're not autists at all.

Slow night... I guess robots are out dancing away.

>>35932963
Yeah, I mean, they are toxic. I can't do anything though. What am I supposed to do though? I couldn't abandon my brother to go through what I did.

Facet, let's talk some more.

I'm assuming you're American, but you may have said you lived in Europe, I forget. I'd assume you're British, then.

I haven't thought of analysing your writing to see if you used British spelling or what.

>>35933123

Not abandoning your brother is noble and I respect and command you for it.

Learn of the ways to stay safe from narcs.

Richard Grannon has a bunch of videos on this, I believe. Worth watching.

>greystone technique
>give them NOTHING on you

>>35933133
I am British. How about you?

>>35933183

I'm Swiss.

>>35933242
I confess, I know very little about Switzerland. I've scarcely travelled. How's the healthcare? The education?

>>35933298

Education is demanding and competitive, but generally not as good as many here like to think. My country is divided linguistically and you can easily say the German-speaking part has a different culture from the French-speaking part and the Italian-speaking part. They also vote differently and are influenced by whatever big country speaking their language that stands right next to them.

Healthcare is like this: it's mandatory, you must choose a private healthcare company, and when you're sick, you must also pay your own shit. And some gets taken from your salary, for good measure.

It's not that bleak but it's not the NHS by a long shot.

>>35933355
Nice digits.

That doesn't sound ideal. The NHS has long been considered a point of pride for the people but as you're likely aware, it's being dismantled a piece at a time. It's sad to see corporate greed essentially trumping human lives.

Now then, I'm afraid I'll have to turn in. I have work early tomorrow morning. All the best.

>>35933478

Talk to you soon.

File: goodbye-i-will-always-love-you.png (495KB, 600x700px) Image search: [Google]

495KB, 600x700px

Good night everyone.

rigerignringeg

>>35933834
Good night Op. I'll see you tomorrow.

Gina