Anyone else here genuinely just fucking hate themselves? Like

I do. I feel like I'm just a shitty person. I keep fucking up. I'm just a loser. I want to die but I'm not gonna kill myself

Yeah, I realized I'm not special. My "profound intelligence" and "wasted potential" was either pure delusion or a normie platitude. I'm a lazy, unmotivated sack of shit who is most likely a sociopath as well.

I might be a pretty good writer, but that doesn't mean jack shit if I can't use that gift to make something of myself. I'm a failure.

I hate myself but I blame society for 50% of it.

Maybe it's because I have a twin brother who has been nothing but a constant shameful and disappointing reflection on me, but I can't stand the sight of myself in the mirror

You're not alone.
I genuinely hate myself. There isn't a single redeeming quality about me and it's a matter of time before I get the guts to finally jump with the rope around my neck:

You know, I don't necessarily think I'm a bad guy. I make an effort to be nice to other people and to not be judgmental, but I find myself constantly locked in a state of self conflict that doesn't allow me to ever really enjoy my own company. I'm in a perpetual state of being mad at myself for fucking up that job interview, or not doing that homework assignment out of sheer laziness, or any number of random blunders that seem to be so common with me. If I wasn't so fucking stubborn, if I wasn't so fucking awkward, if I wasn't such a fucking dope, if I wasn't so fucking clumsy, if i wasn't so fucking lazy, I'd be so much better and more valuable as an individual, but I can't change any of that.

I legitimately detest who I am. I hate myself for pitying myself. I hate the way I act, the way I treat people. If I met someone who was exactly like me I'd hate them. I thought I was worth something but there's nothing I can do properly. My life is so shallow I just want to die, but I know I won't kill myself. I've been stuck in this loop of self hatred for god knows how long. I wish I could end it.

>>35918877
sociopaths have a grandiose self of self that can border on delusion. why do you say you are probably a sociopath?

I do but then i jerk off an go to sleep

>>35918835
yes. self-judgement is corrosive. i am trying to deal with mine.

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Almost every hour. At least we can take comfort in the mutual feelings of misery or some homo shit like that.

the only reason I get up in the mornings anymore is so I can pass my classes.

I hate myself for various reasons. As a human being I am a danger to me and everyone around me, I am a danger to society, I am a danger to living beings and I am a danger to nature. Inflicting harm is in my nature, before I even know it I would be manipulating people, disbanding social groups, breaking people apart which amuses me.
Doing that is still better than stabbing every person I see.

t. Medically diagnosed sociopath

>>35920597
why would you hate yourself for it?

I fucking hate me. I'm an alcoholic, I abuse drugs, every time I look in the mirror I'm one day closer to looking like my worthless father

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>>35920745
>every time I look in the mirror I'm one day closer to looking like my worthless father
jesus christ, I hope I never end up looking so much like my father that I see his piece of shit face whenever I look in the mirror. That might be what finally pushes me over the edge.

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I hate myself, but I also hate everyone else, and everything reality is composed of. I want to destroy the very space and time we occupy.

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Main reason I can't make a tulpa/

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>>35918835
I too, know this feel anon. You are not alone

>be me
>be Jewish (ethnically)
>come to realize that the jews are responsible for all the major wars in the world
>come to realize that somebody needs to start a second holocaust and or start sterilizing Jews in order for the world to be safe
>have no friends to talk to about this
>just stay in my room all day, don't even go to sleep untill 7 am each day
>feel visceral feeling of nausea at the thought that I'll be Jewish until I die, no matter what I do.

At this point, I'm considering having a chemical castration done in order to effectively sterilize myself. I think if I do that then I can finally feel peace of mind and won't have to worry so much anymore... I hope!

>>35918989
A-a....Aaron?

I never used to think about how fucked up I am as a person. In the past few months I've developed self-awareness unlike I have had before which has really opened my eyes to my flaws.

In grade 8, I started visiting bestgore and reading all of the shit that was also written there. school peers secretely thought i was a serial killer after i once mentioned to a friend what i had seen. Viewing gore alone is disgusting, especially young as I was, but thrown in the mix were also paragraphs of racist and anti-Semitic views. I continued to view gore almost daily on both bestgore and theync, while reading the comments and blurbs of both sites. I ranted to my friends about zionism in 9th grade and developed racist views. i also showed my friends gore sometimes. yeah, i was that kid.

Discovered puahate in 10th grade. started viewing that daily and it completely changed my perception of things and made me bounce between extreme insecurity and extreme narcissism. I became obsessed with "LMS" (looks, money, status) and would rant to my friends about it often. i also used to spend hours trolling forums and arguing about it online.

now im here, and have long since stopped viewing gore and visiting sluthate and lookism, but im still a fucking sperg and a failure. looking back it amazes me that i never realized how i was acting or what i was viewing. i've also been addicted to porn since grade 9.

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I used to feel like that when I was a little younger and I would mock all of you for complaining, but that's wrong.

Listen, buddy, you're not a piece of shit, you're not average. You can do great things, you can become what you want to be, even a school shooter if that's your dream. Sometimes you have to take pride in what you're, you all have something that makes you keep fighting against the world, if you're here, that means you never gave up and chose the easy route.

Take all the breaks you want from the fight, but don't lose hope, you're great folks and if I were a girl I would probably send you some nudes but I'm a guy so that would be very homo and I want to be taken seriously.

Try to make friends as autistic as you, normies don't deserve your friendship.

>>35921147
is this really that fucked up? i feel like at least 1/2 of internet dwellers have similar stories. maybe this is just because i don't talk to anyone outside of the internet but it doesn't sound that abnormal to me.

>>35921256
>I'm a guy so that would be very homo
nothing wrong with that, sweetie.

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>>35920865
>want to make a tulpa
>am unfocused and I start thinking about my shitty life
>start thinking about how much i hate myself
>cant be alone with myself or i get thoughts like this
>cant focus on my tulpa through all this shit

>>35921280
>nothing wrong with that
But, think of the children... the sweet, delicious children...
OK, next time I'm looking for a better excuse.

>>35921272
shit you're right. I exaggerated hugely on the "fucked up person" claim.

I wouldn't go as far as to describe the behavior as normal when you compare it with the behaviors of the general population. But you are certainly right when it is compared to other "internet dwellers." It is pretty normal.

>>35921402
see? you're not that bad anon. now you just have to worry about being a failure. and many of us can relate to that too.

Yeah I hate myself. About two weeks ago I got drunk and scratched up my arms with broken glass in a fit of self loathing. Had to get questioned when I went to the hospital to get a tetanus shot and bandages the next day. I've been in hospital before after having alcohol poisoning so I'm used to the questions. "Do you hear voices?" "How's your appetite?" "Do you sleep well?" But I'm not psychotic, or even medically depressed really, I just hate myself for being a fuck up. So I'm trying to do some proactive things now so that my life isn't unbearably dull and lonely.

>>35921542
Most people just punch a wall.

>>35921565
Yeah I did that once too, a few years back. Punched a refrigerator and broke my hand, wasn't even drunk that time so even more dumb.

>Delusions of intellect
>Chad
>The beta uprising

Don't tell me there are people who actually believe these memes right? I don't think I could handle the idea of people who are so far gone that they would believe or take to heart the r9k memes.

>>35918835
No, I am not 14

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Yes, i hate myself with the force of three millions black holes.
My head is a trash can, I watch best gore, efukt and shitty websites like that. I have no friends and when you're friendless you realize how worthless are you to other people. My mom is already scared of my situation and begs me to go to a therapist, I meet this qtpie at college last year, since that day I wish I could rip my face off with forks, my self steem dropped to the damn ground, I'm not longer interested in sex anymore and day by day those destructive thoughts about suicide are stronger even when im scared shitless of death.Gonna hang myself soon

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>>35918835
I hate my face. I hate it more than you can possibly understand.
I also hate my personality, I am completely fearless, I can do all the crazy shit in the world, but I am a fucking wuss when it comes to my own feelings, especially expressing them. For me it's easier to risk my life doing crazy shit on my motorcycle (I do it all the time), than expressing my feelings to a girl I like (of course I never did that because I am paralyzed by terror). It makes no sense.

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I hate myself for how mediocre and boring I am. I am nothing but wasted potential with a safe yet undesirable life.

Tall enough to not be short but not short enough to be tall.
Smart enough to pass but not smart enough to be proud of my marks.
Fit enough to not feel like shit but not strong and fit enough to take my shirt off at the beach.

I have had no real meaningful, life defining experiences, I have never really had any strong friendships or relationships. I never asked that girl out, took the job opportunity or went on the semester exchange program. I have never really won or achieved anything other than somehow scraping by to the next stage, whether it's high school, Uni or a full time job.

The last 23 years of my life (29 now) have been nothing but browsing the internet and doing the bare minimum in real life. I work, save 90% of my paycheck and then browse the internet.