The Most Autistic Thing You Have Done (TMATYHD)

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My "Meme" phase

>Having a shirt with a Le epic meme on it
>Trying to explain what "trolling" was

Luckily that was the extent of the autism and I only wore the shirt once

>>35913051
That's not too bad. I think many people go through that.

>be in 9th grade
>Youtubers and Minecrat already a thing

What are you, 15?

>>35913276
Mc came out in 2010 :^)

>>35913276
Let's see, youtube has been a thing for about 10 years now, and minecraft has been available for atleast 7.

I once made a trollface mask out of cardboard
I have hade suicidal thoughts from time to time, yes

>>35913276
Captain Sparklez's Music videos have been around since late 2011.

>>35913835
>>35913276
he'd be like 21

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>>35912826
I also collect things of memetic significance.

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>>35912826
>Be 5
>Get diagnsoed
JUST

>>35914307
Cheer up! You could have never been diagnosed and have parents who believe in corporal punishment and withdrew you from school leading you to develop a hopelessly broken personality.

Atleast I didn't have it on my medical record and so was able to get into the army.

>>35912826
try to get my dog to lick/succ my dick and mom walked in

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>>35914802
Holy shit, tell us more pls

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>>35914834
>horny as fuck
>think mom is asleep
>whip out dick in the living room
>grip dick and and pick up dog
>erectionintensifies.jpeg
>jab dog with dick and try to stick in dogs mouth for half a minute
>mfw
>mom walks in
>stare at mom with dick in hand, dog in lap
>mom gives me the most disgusted look ever
>run and hide into room and don't look at mom for days
>she thinks im into bestiality now

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>11th grade
>I had just gotten my first smartphone and I wanted to do something funny
>Make an Instagram account without my real name and personal information
>I'm not going to post the username, but it had the word "baguette" and was generally themed around baguettes
>posted the same picture of a baguette every hour or so, and nothing else
>Follow as many people from my school as I could and insulted them on their posts
>Was the stupidest shit
>"friend" finds out it's me and tells everyone
>the popular kid beats me up behind the school because I insulted his gf

It was fun while it lasted.

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>was in private catholic school
>6th grade
>Big winter dance, other private, catholic schools combine for it
>Dance and feel like I'm cool
>Actually was doing really shitty semi-cartwheel things
But that's not all
>Meet this one girl there
>Looks 8/10, actually into me
>We slow dance and such
>Say I really like her, she seems that way to
>Dance ends, we go our separate ways
After the dance I find her Facebook
>Actually a 5/10, just couldn't see all the details in the dark
>Mfw I saw, pic related
>Didn't DM her or contact her ever again

I have more interesting stories from these dances if you guys want them. Pretty enjoyable stories.

>>35915500
I like stories

>>35915500
moar

this is so original you might think its not but it is so stop trying to think its not ok?

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>9th grade
>have a weird obsession with talking like a baby/little kid
>think it's the most hilarious shit in the world
>always saying weird stuff like "I make poopies in my daipies" or "I want mummy milkies"
>talk in baby speak constantly because I think it's quirky and weird
>don't find out until Senior year that almost everyone in my school thought I had some kind of mental illness that kept my brain from maturing past a toddler's

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>in mall with friends
>friend says she needs a new bra
>get an idea from anime
>grab her breasts in the middle of the mall
>"Hehe have your breasts got bigger???"
>she pushes me away and screams

At least I'm also a girl so it wasn't like I was a guy doing this.

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>>35912826
>junior in high school
>school has a free day at the end of the year where everyone goes to the amusement park nearby (full scale with multiple roller coasters)
>actually having fun even though I am the local autist, going on some rides with people who I didn't really know before
>waiting in line for a roller coaster ride with same group of people, talking about what we are going to do this summer
>we start boarding, girl from group asks if I want to sit with her
>panic mode
>tell her I'll wait until the next one
>she starts crying
>I'm honestly confused for an instant why she is crying
>the roller coaster starts up and takes off
>30 seconds later I realize what happened
>awkwardly go on the roller coaster after it returns, I'm sure that I sat in the same seat where she was sitting
>my face the entire ride was pic related, no enjoyment derived but I didn't really feel bad
>group is waiting for me, they don't really know what happened and the girl is sort of regaining composure
>follow them for a while, can't say anything
>lumber away from the group saying I want to go on another ride in the opposite direction
At least I got to ride the flying roller coaster after waiting in line for 30 minutes by myself

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>>35915558
>>35915614
Alright, you wanted another. Here it is. It's in the same grade, just in the fall was the first. The previous was winter.
This happened at my first dance ever, same school.
>Be me
>First school dance
>Me and my best friend are ready to go and have fun, expecting a good time
>We arrive
>Everyone's dressed well/in dress requirements. We are too btw.
>The dance is a combination of normie jump dance shit and slow dancing
>Never slow danced before
>Ask one of the guys a grade up about it, he explains
>igotthis.jpg
>Every slow dance, ask a different girl ASAP to dance with me
>Everyone is nice so they say yes
>Lots of the girls are cute, having fun
>Realize these girls are actually touching me and I'm touching them
>FeelsGoodMan
>At one point, me and this girl are dancing (she was a grade above)
>A friend of hers (a guy) says "his hands are close to your ass"
>Just realize I could have touched ass, wasn't actively trying but she was comfortable where my hands were
>She lifts them up a bit
>mfw, pic related
Here comes some quality autism
>dancing with one girl
>My birthday happened recently and I got a gaming headset with a mic
>Was planning on starting a minecraft gaming channel
>As me and this girl are dancing,I make sure to tell her:
>"Hey, my youtube channel is _____. I'm gonna be a big minecraft channel.
>Cringe every time I think about that

You guys want more?

>>35915748
That's some high quality autism. Was your friend a normie?

setting
>7 years old
>2nd grade
>k-elementary school its in the state CA and its Spanish immersion so it was super liberal.
me
>Your avg dump 2nd grader.
>I always fancied my self as the funny kid
story
>as my mom was driving me I was thinking of a joke to make
> and I thought
>"dicks are funny"
>so my plan was to show my dick to my classmates as a joke
>so I did.
> and i got a good laugh
> and then I mad the worst decision
> showed my teacher
> and I got sent home.

>>35916400
Go into standup. You'd be better than Amy Schumer.

>>35915941
We're all normies. They don't know I like anime and that I'm also into girls.

>>35915925
Fucking kek.Post more stories,anon.

>mfw I was thinking about starting a YT channel too,but gave up eventually

>>35915925
Don't ask if we want more. We have nothing else to do in our lives except read autistic anecdotes.

>>35916866
>they don't know I'm into girls
They might have figured it out by this juncture.

>>35915748
I wish I could have seen that.

>>35916984
>>35916992
This isn't really a story but the aftermath. There's a lot of other little stories but they don't seem worth telling rn simply due to the fact that they don't compare to the previous from that time period.

The most recent dance was one I went to due to being invited (senior btw). I just feel awkward at them now since now slow dances ever happen. They just play random rap and hip hop as the normie masses dance to rhythm that the puppet-master DJ plays. They all act like animals. That was the thought I created while at my most recent one.

I never dance at them anymore, just kinda stand and sway a little.

>>35914961
how long ago was this?
originall, originall.

>>35915720

You sound actually autistic or you have a adult baby fetish secretly...that's just fucking weird. Maybe a few times it could be funny/cute to some people but any more and you look plain retarded. Why did you do it? And how did the girls react?

>audibly made dubstep noises to describe dubstep to someone

>>35914961
>tried to fuck a dog
Geez anon I have no idea why your mom would think that you were into bestiality

>give my oneitis an expensive bday gift
>next day her friend ask me on MSN if I was in love with her
>told her no and made up that she is fucking a 39 yrs old guy
>her Stacy friend spread the rumour
>she got mad and throw my gift to my face in school after yelling me in fronr of everyone
>tfw I actually recriminated her about the money I spend on that gift and how a good guy I was
>next morning I want to apoligize and wait for her on the bus stop for about 1 hour
>when she arrives I austistically chase her
>she runs so I stop
>next day she put a restriction order for me
>I drop hs because of this
>never graduate so I become a neet
>developed depression and anxiety
>cant join the army or any wagejob because of this and my criminal record
>all dreams are dead

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>11th grade
>full autist wearing a normalfag mask
>doing theatre because I can act like an autist and just pretend to be retarded
>everyone else in theatre is completely autistic
>9/10 Stacy joins
>everyone loves her
>she hates everyone there
>except me because of the normalfag mask
>she starts trying to get close to me
>autism powers initiate
>don't understand she's flirting with me
>she invites me over to her house for a >movie night
>don't get cues because I'm an autist
>this happens for the next two years
>didn't realize until normalfag """""friend""""" pointed it out
Here I am now, laying in bed reading shitty VNs and posting on /r9k/.
Still a virgin

>>35913228
they dont

origami salami

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> Be me @ college
> Autist, weapons-grade
> Obese
> No friends
> Emotionally abusive GF
> Want to die
> Decide to take care of myself
> Start showering, dress nice
> Get close to 10/10 Stacy in class
> Stacy is athletic, smells good
> We become good friends
> GF randomly picks me up from class
> Stacy texts me: "Sorry for flirting. Didn't know you had a GF!"
> Didn't notice because of superfire autism
> She wanted my dick
> She was my way out
> Get overly attached
> GF finds out I have a crush on Stacy
> GF hits me in a voilent rage
> Too scared to talk to Stacy
> We become distant
> She starts to miss me, asks if she can come over
> I say YES!
> She thinks I want to just fuck her and use her because I did not ask GF if it was OK
> Stacy stops talking to me
> Break down, call, get voicemail, spam texts about abusive GF
> Stacy never talks to me again
> tfw I'm in love with her
> tfw it's been 1+ years
> tfw I still see her at school every day she pretends I'm not there

Stacy, I'm not creepy. Please call me back.

My mom walked in on me watching K-ON so I filled her blow-drier up with maple syrup so she'd be really mad and forget about the K-ON thing and anyways my dad beat the fuck out of me so I'm not sure it was really worth it.

>>35919201
Better to be a troubled boy than a degenerate in the eyes of your parents, lad. Nice call.

>>35912826
>be me
>11th grade dance
>actualy have qt boy as date
>he makes a fart joke at some point
>think: "hey if i fart right now it would be funny"
>thanks, autism
>try to fart
>horribly shit myself
>he goes to hang out with his friends
>not allowed to leave dance until certain time
>nothing to change into
>thanks, autism

i kept the panties as a reminder

Here's mine
>sophomore year in hs
>get grouped with 3 girls in my English class for a project
>They all knew I was a brainlet so they were offering to do my share of work
>I told them is make the video because I have a camera
>so I'm supposed to make a vid about this book now
>I decide to reenact a scene and I play every character
>for the black character I wore a black Spiderman mask
>wore a bowl on my head for Asian character
>teacher seething with rage and group members mad at me
>no one ever wanted to be my partner again

>>35919286

>mfw i would have been turned on if you did that cause girls shitting their pants turns me om

I had a meltdown in class in 8th grade because someone was making fun of an autistic kid. Does that count? I got so legitimately pissed off that teenagers were that fucking cruel. I started homeschool after that, best decision of my life. I kind of sperged out a lil though, I went on one of those dramatic "why is the world so hateful" rants to my principal at like 13 yrs old

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>>35912826
>High school in deep south Alabama
>Social outcast
>Respond the circumstances by being edgy
>Decide that one thing to piss everyone off is to make fun of their religion
>Eventually find George carlin
>School talent show
>sign up and memorize George carlin's entire religion routine
>called from class for auditions
>Eventually choke up and completely censor out bad words
>Pass auditions as I can clearly see the judges have contempt for allowing me to perform
>Day of performance
>Hype myself up so much I can almost feel the testosterone flowing from my mouth
>I decide I'm a rebel and am going to not censor myself
>It's my turn to go
>Audience is silent because everyone is shocked I was up there
>Start my routine
>No reaction
>emphasize the word BULLSHIT
>continue on until I realize the mic turned off
>get escorted off stage
>change schools
>Never try humor again

You feel that anti-climatic feeling?
Yeah, me to.

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>>35912826
this is not THE most autistic thing ive done but it still haunts me
>be mild autist
>do what any autist do and join scouts
>eventual when im with the other scouts my autism is lessened
>move up to ventures
>dont have to see the annoying fucks in scouts anymore
thankfuckinggod.html
>ventures is just like scouts but everyone is a degenerate and/or weirdo
>go to big ass camp like 10 minutes away from a prison but that beside the point
>there is a camp dance
>goes till 12:3>
>its the second last song and somehow (i have no idea how i did it) but i chated up this girl
>last song is a slow song
>we dance
>first time making even vaguely romantic physical contact with a girl
>put my head on her shoulder
>realize this is creepy and we just met
>autism engage
>try to fix things
>say in gravely voice (i had screamed along with the previous song)
>"if you want me to fuck off just say so..."
>we finish dancing
>next day were all taking a fairy back to the island we all live on (Vancouver island)
>were talking and its fucking awkward
>her "what grade are you in"
mfw i was in grade 10
mfw she was in grade 12
looking back it wasnt that bad and the age gap wasnt that much but back then two years was a fuck of a lot. this story still haunts me though

>>35919197
thats what you get for having a practice gf

>>35918673
thats what you get for spreading idiotic rumors

>be me, today
>at Wendy's with mi padre
>we're waiting for our order
>employee at counter says order is ready for Jeff
>ironic irl shitposting mode engaged
>say "my nama Jeff" out loud
>guy next to us gets up to go to the counter
>oh shit that's Jeff
>dad gives me a weird look
>say it again because I though he might not have understood
>Jeff is still standing there as I'm saying it
>avoid looking anywhere near his general direction the rest of the time I'm sitting there

>>35919287
thats funnny

>>35919596
lol
iiiiijjjjhhh

>>35919197
Normi

>Get large plastic bag
>Spend two weeks filling it with rotten eggs
>piss and shit
>dog shit
>prawns
>beer
>anything gross I can find
>cousin comes to visit
>stays a few hours, he's leaving, opens the gate
>try throw it at 20 year old cousin (I was 12)
>miss
>hit gate
>cousin freezes, takes in the stench
>runs at me
>too autistic to realise I just totally fucked up
>standing there laughing as he punches me off my feet
>start crying, run and tell on him
>get a belting
>told it's my own fault
>have to go clean up disgusting mixture, puke several times
>have to clean up puke too

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>>35912826
Today I watched this faggot take five minutes to order a quesadilla and a slice of french toast at a denny's at 1 in the morning. Wasn't something I personally did but I think I got more autistic by proxy.

Frenchbot here, relevant because here in France we often greet females by doing this stupid thing called the "bise".
If you're not familiar, you press your cheek against females cheek and kiss the air, once on each side.

>First year of middle school
>Close friend gets new gf
>Get off school bus with said friend
>Friends gf comes to greet us
>She leans in for the "bise"
>Panic, have allways hated the "bise"
>female is right next to my face
>autism takes over
>headbutt her with all my might

>>35920225
Oh fuck i hate that shit too, I always hesitate when i have to do it and it comes off as awkward.

>>35920278
It's the fucking worst, and it took me pretty much all of middle school to even be able to do that shit, most of the time I'd just do anything to avoid it like go to the toilet as soon as a female joins our group or kindof move whilst she does the "bise" to everyone so she forgets me

>>35920225
fuck you frenchies for introducing that shit to your colonies, I FUCKING HATE IT TOO.

>>35919287
You made my night. Thank you very much

>>35920225
Same guy again

Here's another anecdote of my weapons grade autism
>be me, fugly fat beta 12yo
>first time in love, second year of middle school
>girl is alpha chad best friends gf
>become her best friend
>make her laugh a lot
>we often hang out just the three of us
>its painful to watch them kiss
>say nothing, show nothing, but secretly be sad
>they break up
>remain friends with both
>still say nothing, fear of rejection
>"you're so nice and funny anon" and all the usual shit
>its the usual beta friendzone story
>until on night
>talking over skype
>she, the pretty girl, confesses that she's in love with me and has been for a while
>me, the fugly beta fatty
>panic
>s a y
>n o t h i n g
>we remain friends, but she's visibly sad for about two weeks
>still be in love
>say nothing

So yeah pretty much got what any guy in the friendzone ever hopes for but was too autistic to handle even that

I forgot a 24 pack of toilet paper rolls in my front yard earlier today because i went shopping while tired and i take the old person shuttle to walmart.

>around 15 years old
>think I'm in love with my older brother's girlfriend
>one time they're at our place (me and brother live together) and they have a fight
>my brother leaves the house and his gf is in a room crying
>knock on the room and enter and try to calm her and comfort her

another time
>go to a friend's house
>remember my brother and his gf are at our house
>they are probably using this time i'm not home to have sex
>make up a shitty excuse to my friend and run back home to "surprise" my brother and his gf having sex
>they were not in fact having sex that time

>>35915256
>11th grade and doing this
You sounded like a faguette tbqh

>>35921362
underraatted yo