Greentext the last time you spoke to a female, no matter how

>can you throw this in the garbage?
>yes

>/pol/ really has the best sense of humour. Listening to Ghost and radiograffiti hour is hilarious.
>Right. Okay
tfw

My mom doesn't count right?
>Hey this might sound like a stupid question, but what day is it?
>Oh, it's Wednesday
>Okay thanks sorry to bother you
>It's alright
>see ya
>bye

I talk to a lot of females, I can't remember specific conversations unless something special happened

t. normie

>>35884030
I held the door open for a girl earlier today and she said thanks and I said no worries

i just got my license renewed and it was an old black lady who helped me and she kept calling me sweetie

>>35884030
>good morning
>*kiss* did you sleep well? Do you want me to make you some eggs?
>no, I am just going to have cereal.

>>35884030
In real life?
>that will be 25 dollars
>ok thanks

On the internet?
>fuck you you stupid cunt stop fucking feeding you brain dead nigger

>"2 for a dollar?"
>N-no it's unhealthy already as it is haha not exactly being good here

>"get your foot out of my face"
>k

I was coincidentally thinking about this last night and came to the conclusion that I have absolutely no idea when the last time I talked to anything female was.

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green texting this would be boring

>>35884030
>Is that guy selling water
>yeah I think so
She comes back with a water
>by the way my name is Lana (or maybe it was Laura I couldn't hear what she said very well). What's yours?
>uh I'm Joe
>Joe?
>yeah Joe. Errr nice to meet you
That was it. She was obviously waiting for me to continue the conversation but I had no idea what to say.

>>35884624
>fat
>problem glasses
>flowers in her hair
Wtf is wrong with you. Why are you talking to to THAT THING.

>>35884030
>good morning, how are you?
>good thanks, and you?
>I'm good, that'll be $1.40
Me to the old Mexican lady that works where I get my coffee.

>>35884624
fat

progisjidfs

>"Hey anon! High five!"
>"Oh hey!"
>we high five then immediately walk away from each other.

>"how much does this cost?"
>"239"

i was buying icecream

>>35884521
Greentext behind the greentext? Why was your foot in her face?

>>35884030
>Based on the low math scores on your transcript, you won't be considered for a major in biology. Sorry

>>35884030
>"Can you send me photos of the last calculus lecture please"
and so on

>>35884790
>texting a girl is considered talking to a girl
Wew lad. I want out of this hell.

>hey anon have you done your taxes yet"
>Nope still have to do them.
>You'll have to do it soon, can you manage on your own?
>I'll manage on my own.

thing is my mom probably just wanted to hear and see me again once in a while..

>>35884030
my sister, right now

>there's food in here
>okay

>>35884030
> Do you have the crash log?
> Give me a minute and i post it
> Ta

Last time I did, she told me she wasn't interested in me

I can't remember,I think it's been 6 years now. Even the cashier is male.
I talked to my mom today though.

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>>35884030
Like a second ago. My wife is next to me.

>>35885251
>Sage in name field
It's like you didn't even read the FAQ.

>>35884030

9 months ago, at uni

>D-do you have a calculator?
>No

Non uni related, almost 3 years ago

>Hey whats up(me)
>Hey...
>...

>>35885361
Ah forgot to take that off , sorry. Coming right from a (((fembot))) thread

>>35885399
Oh fuck I need some sleep

>>35884627
What the fuck DO you say?
This is literally my worst nightmare, ANYONE speaking to me.

>>35884030
>bye anon, see you tomorrow
>y-yeah bye
Me leaving work today

>>35884030

>> Told my girlfriend's little sister that I heard her cat killing a rabbit the other night. That was about 10 minutes ago.

>>35884030
>me: our streak was about to end
>her: i would have killed you if it ended

>>35885399
Sage in the name field does nothing...it's like you didn't read the FAQ

>>35885431
I wish I had known because then I might have gotten a gf

>>35885503
I had sage in all fields anon, the name field keeps it in other threads and I forgot to remove it

Please don't try to teach me fucking newfag,normies read faq,I know everything motherfucker,from experience

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>>35884756
that's real expensive arnon

>"for here or to go"
>to go
>I'll have a number 5 with fries and iced tea
(literally every single day's order)
>"that'll be $5.63"
>o-ok thanks

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>>35884030
An actual female that isn't my mom or a cashier?

>day after halloween last year
>sitting in class
>shy qt korean girl in front of me offers me some candy
>respond "t-thanks"

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>Hey, Angie. Any chance you're free for dinner on Thursday?
>I appreciate the offer, but I am not available for dinner.

Sent in an email to a coworker on Monday. I've been home sick since then, laying in my room listening to the rain and passing cars.

>>35885561
>references the Sage in all fields meme
>doesn't realize that applies to boards like /b/ where there is only an option and comment field
>puts Sage in the name field
Please. Tell me more about how you aren't a newfag and are "experienced".

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>go into restaurant asking for a job because I'm getting desparate for a job
>greeter at the front door is really cute and friendly
>exchange a couple words with her before manager arrives
>think about her for the rest of the day

>>35885633
>email
That's even worse than text.

>>35885653
>its another "newfag redditard reads the FAQ and spends time on knowyourememe and thinks he's better than actual anons" episode

I hate reruns. Fine, you can keep this cancer board.

>>35885702
>it's another I got BTFO for being a newfag so I'm just going to say the person who called me out was a newfag
Nice argument. I used your argument so you could see how ridiculous it is.

>>35885733
I find it funny that you literally said "read the FAQ" like a newfag instead of just telling me to lurk moar. Huh, almost as if reading the FAQ is the thing you consider is what makes you an oldfag.
Really made me think.

>>35885733
You are acting like a newfag though anon ..

>"I've left extension cord under your basement's door, thank you"
female neighbour after borrowing my extension cord

>>35885787
>he didn't use a meme so he must be a newfag
You realize what makes people newfags is they don't read the rules or the FAQ and do stupid shit like putting Sage in the name field. Just like you.

>20 minutes ago
>Going to chill

>>35884627
Ridiculous that this counts as approaching for girls, it still leaves the heavylifting up to the guy.

>>35885431
Best bet is to say something relevant to your surroundings. Or I suppose someone could make fun of her, say "were you really thirsty or did you just want to talk to me?", as long as you say it in a teasing manner and aren't too condescending.

>>35884030
>be me 1 hr ago
>be at work
>see co-worker
>"see u on friday."
>"yeah, bye anon."

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>>35885679
How I'm supposed to do it except the emails? She works at the satellite office.

>>35884030
>get call
>it's mom again

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>>35884030
>Go to sleep please
>unintelligible mumbling
>For real, I'm gonna wake up your mom and tell her you're being bad
>unintelligible mumbling and child noises

>>35886649
>get text
>its vodaphone again

>how was your day?
>pretty good anon!
>that's good to hear

>"Text me when you're free so we can hang out!" -her
>"okay sure, see you around" -me

>>35884030
What if they were born female but are a trans man but they havent had any hormones or treatment?

>"What can I get ya?"
>"Uh.. one sec!"
>"Medium twist."
>"Okay, that'll be 2:75"
>"Sure, here."
>"Thanks!"
>"Oh!"
>"Have a great day~!"
>"Thanks! You too!"

There's always cute girls working at ice cream places. She made a point to lean down and through the little ice cream window to smile at me. Did she want my dick, anons? Did.. Did I have sex? Was that sex?

>>35887591
>Did she want my dick, anons?

Most likely just the tip

>>35887591
Yes, you are now pregnant.

>>35884030
friday
>excuse me, what did he say?
>they changed the classroom, we have to move to the 503
>oh, t-thanks

>"Order 2848?"
>"yep, thanks, bye"

me at kfc 3 hours ago
InB4 "nigger"; no i'm not i'm a ginger cunt

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>>35884030
>girlfriend texts me
>apparently some guy her roommate likes might be crushing on my girlfriend
>think for a bit as to how to approach this since i've never dealt with this before
>text gf saying don't lead him on and be direct about the fact that you're not available if he tries to advance on you
>otherwise just let me know and i'll try to step in
>she says she'll try to bring me up next time he's around so as to not create an awkward confrontation
>tell her she'll probably be over to come over to my place this weekend to spend time together

yeah i guess that's sorta interesting. nothing too crazy tho

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I hate my roommate.

A chair fell out of her 2 story balcony and landed outside the door so I went to look and she sent this.

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>/internetgf/
>talk dirty to her a bit
>tell her what we are going to do when we meet up
>allow her to touch herself while i type
>she needs to head off to bed
>make plans to be lewd and cam eachother
>tell her not to touch herself until I say so tomorrow

does anyone else know this feel?

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>it isn't you
>it's me

>>35889263
What a bitch. How did you end up living with this bitter cunt?

>>35889385
Before dating my ex, I used to tell her I wanted to tie her up and abuse her with my cock. I would make her call me either "Master" or "Daddy". I would tell her what to do all the time, she loved that shit.

>Can I get a wheat wrap with lettuce, tomato, spicy chicken, and honey mustard?
>Here you are.
>Thanks.

>text me when you get home
>I will I promise

last time was as I was dropping my gf for her art class about an hour ago

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>>35889494
did you have any games you would play with her? We are in a LDR and we do stuff like "Green, Red", where I will tell her when she can touch herself and how fast. I also made her go outside with clothespins on her nipples under her shirt. I'm looking for new fun stuff to do with her over voice/cam or just tasks in general.

>>35884030
>Hi Maurice
>Hi,wait are you new?
>yeah im the new Manager
>Cool

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Just shooting the shit with my lesbian BFF.

>>35884030
>add crush on normiebook
>she accepts
>exchange some messages and asks if she knows me or am i trying to slide in the dms (dont have any clear pics up so she doesn't know who i am, we've talked before etcetc)
>leave her on seen for 2 days and im gonna reply tomorrow morning

I am actually a dumbass desu

>I'm on my period
>awww poor thing here for you babe

>coworker getting a cigarette front car while I'm on the way out
>conversation leads to joke that her older sister is kind of racist
>ask if her younger one (who is my age and is into me) is
>says she isn't
>joke that it wouldn't work out between us then
>she laughs

>>35889573
We were an IRL couple, so I would dress her up as a school girl most of the time while I wore a ski mask. She was really into incest/rape roleplaying and I am into dominating my girls. For a while we were obsessed with an impregnation fetish, though that resulted in the death of both our unborn child and our relationship.

>>35889443
Kijiji roommate ad.

Which is funny because she got bitter cause I wouldn't sleep with her.

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>I hate how condescending you are sometimes, you hold people to such impossible standards.
It's very disappointing you feel that way.
>removed her
That was like a month ago I think.

Working on a school project with a girl

>so should we go to my apartment or should we just go to the library?
>let's go to your place I'll bring some sushi
>yay! I love sushi
>okay 6:30 sound good?
>yeah sounds great
>perfect see you there

8/10 Asian cutie, hopefully she'll letter me cum on her tits.

>I just wanted to let you know that 2 years ago today, I tried to kill myself

>Oh anon...I'm so sorry. Thank you for telling me

>Yeah, but looking back, I'm in a much better place now, thanks to you

>Well I'm glad I helped. Our time is up for this week.

30 seconds ago
Me
>what's that alarm sound?
Gf
>I'm watching a video
Me
>make it stop
Fin

>>35884764
>>35884521
I need to know
This post is origional just so you know

>>35885632
aaahw shes nice

>>35884030
>What kind of anime do you think Hitler was into?
>Idk, the kind were teenagers run around doing cute stuff
>l was thinking about that ice-skating one, l think Hitler would appreciate effeminate boys flipping around on ice
>haha, Everyone can appreciate effeminate boys in spandex, Anon :)
>Truly a man of taste
>Do you think he would be into yaoi?
>Probably depends on how Aryan the boys looked
>Hahaha, you're so right

If family doesn't count...
>yesterday
>go to walgreens on the way home from muay thai
>go to back aisle looking for thing
>qt that works there walks down the aisle
>we smile at each other
>"what's up"
>"nothing, back from the gym?"
>"yup"
>"cool"
>she goes into the back room
I-I think I love her...

>babe can you clean up the room my friend is coming over she finally broke up with her boyfriend
>good shit tell her I'm proud of her
>are you hungry?
>I mean i could eat
>ok I'll bring wings :)

tfw qt blonde Stacy is love of your life

gg

>>35891414
stay here normie

>bitch "friend" gets mad at me for calling her out on her skank behavior and treating me like shit
>haven't talked to her since
>she been desperately trying to talk to me while I just ignore her stupid ass
Feels good man.

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>Alright im leaving
>bye
>bye

Fucking bitch stop breathing and let me live in peace

I told my cat she's a pretty girl and I love her. If that doesn't count, then it was probably the phone call I got earlier.
>"Hey can you help me pick up my stuff from my ex's tomorrow after work? I don't want to go alone."
>"Yeah, sure."
>"Okay, thanks. Bye."

>went to restaurant I used to work at to pick up some food
>sat around and chatted with one of the servers I was friends with
>she's pretty qt
>as I'm walking out I hear her talking to the other servers about me

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>>35884030
>If you give me a kiss, I will tell where I hide your backpack

*ass blasted robots inbound*

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>>35884030
>be me five hours ago
>write to my crush that we can go sit to some tea lounge on Friday if she's free that day (she suggested to me that we should do that)
>tells me she's sorry and that she has a math exam to study for, therefore hasn't got free afernoon
>I write that it's okay and for her to write me when she has free time
>seen 23:15
where did I go wrong

How can you guys even remember the words in a conversation? I only remember vague ideas of what conversations were about in my memory, but I can never even remember specific words, not even what I said at the end of the conversation.

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>>35891555
>ywn play hide the backpack with a qt

>>35890749
>tfw developed a serious crush on her but I was too chickenshit to do anything about it

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>bored
>texted a girl I havnt talked to in a year how you been
>after a short conversation and several autistic comments she says we should get together sometime
>fuckyeah.jpg
>"I'll bring my boyfriend Kyle too"

I hate Kyle

>>35891833
I'm worried this might be me. Where do you live? Or what's her first name, at least? My name is Kyle and I know a girl who's convinced we're dating.

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>a small nigger in an elevator said she liked my hair

>>35891833
I already want to end my life after reading this post anon

>>35884030
I talked to my mom Sunday when she took me to see a production of King Lear. She gets free tickets for volunteering.

>>35892010
Wilmington NC
Kyle isn't even Chad he just knows how to flirt.

>>35892153
I'm not really a Chad either. She just latched onto me for some reason and her boyfriend left her so now she's REALLY hard into me. I just want to be alone with my video games and my cat and 4chan.