tard stories from inside the tard class

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>>35868122
This one is a gem

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I'm back with more of the first day
>tard battle in full motion
>downiebro gets restrained by tard guards
>venom chris gets up with a face so red i thought it would burst with blood
> due to him being 5'6 and weighing like 160 pounds, he charges downiebro mercilessly like a train with full force
>the sheer force of the tard guards and downiebro is enough to send them falling down
>venom chan has downiebro grappled
>venom chan ends up yelling at downie at the fact that spongebob is an amazing show and he is a hater
>by the time the tard guards got up. They started pulling out their walkie talkies
>2 mall cop looking police come and take venom chris away
>let off from school early due to incident
Keep in mind this is the first day, to me this felt like a comedy show was happening in real life.

>>35868230
That one made me legit kek. I swear that story had an amazing charm to it

>>35868285
Please post more of downbro.

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Can't wait for this story to be screencapped by those reddit-fags
>About 2 weeks in
> downie bro surprisingly is more tame than the most of the crew but the one closest to being a "friend" is naruto-fag
> in world geography as one of the only classes I participate outside tard class
> naruto-fag always preocupied with his DS playing "Naruto: Ninja Destiny 2"
>Teacher soon gets fed up and tells him to put down his ds
> Naruto-fag ignores teacher almost completely, but I notice that he is gripping the DS more harshly
>Teacher keeps telling him to stop playing on his DS
> what happen next suprised me
>narutofag suddenly throws DS at teacher
>Calls her a "bitch" while he gets restrained by tard guard
> More shocked than surprised at this event.
as for downiebro, his story will come up in the exact next period

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>exact period after geography incident
> naruto-fag not present at this day, so all we have is palsy, downiebro, and venom chan
>downie bro moaning while venom chan acting like he is talking to thomas the tank engine
> teacher lecturing on variables while sounding like a parent talking to a 4 year old if he wants his apple juice
> Decided to fuck with venom chan in my best tank engine voice: "Do you wanna go outside and play with me?"
>Venom chan actually gets up and tries to get out of the class
>door is locked
>venom asks teacher to leave school to play with thomas
>"no venom"
> venom loses his tard shit
> starts dropping death threats like north korea dropping bombs with classics like "IMMA KILL YOU AND KILL YOU!!"
> tard guard starts arguing with him
> I say non-chalantly, "What happens if you kill (tard guard) venom chan?"
>Venom suddenly grabs my seat and starts lifting it up without warning
> I was so scared I almost pissed myself
> before venom actually was going to attempt murder on me, downiebro screeches at his highest point
>venom gets intimidated and lowers my chair
> "GET AWAY FROM ME!!" venom cries
> downie just sits down and acts like nothing happened
and to this day i still refer to him as downiebro because of this incident, I still got plenty more on me

>>35868589
>thinking your story deserves a screencap
>thinking reddit fags have time to capture every screencap
I feel like you're typing this just so (you) can screencap

>>35868808
downiebro seems like a cool dude

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>>35868835
yep, I'm one of those screencap fag wannabes, the stories are true though.
>4 days later
>venom chan is fearing downiebro and naruto-fag had his DS confiscated
> notice new kid checking out place with strange dude
>turns out new kid is actually one of our classmates that didn't come to school due to being in the hospital
> He fucking eats everything he sees
> downie bro didn't know that he's a student and asks his tard guard "WHU IS THAAT?" In glorious tard accent
>as soon as he hears who he is, he immediately grabs the first thing he sees (a pencil) and walks to the kid without warning
> almost exact scene plays out with him accidently punching kid, but on his mouth
>kid fucking bites him on his mouth
> I respected downiebro so seeing this made me mad as hell
> see downie wailing in pain as i walk up to the fucker that dared tried to bite him
> flailed my arms on him with all my might trying to make him let go
> he only bites harder
>eventually shoved him so hard he falls down
> jumped down on him and grabbed him in his throat
>guards are trying to pry me off, but my grip's fucking iron
as I was about to slap his face (can't punch), he grabs my arm and starts biting it
> I try to pry my arm off, but he bites like a pitbull,
>Tard guards pry me off and yell at me for attackiing a local tard
I call him pitbull due to his iron bite

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>>35869074
You know, as soon as this greentext is finished I'm going to stitch it and post it to /r/4chan

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>>35869074
>>35868808
>>35868589
>>35868285
this is fats mcgee tier, keep going

Are you still retarded OP?
Something cured the downies?

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Gym was one of my favorite stack of stories
>about a month later from the first day of school
> Gym only consisted of dancing, walking around the class, and boring ass stretches
>end up having break day due to tard guards thinking we deserved enough
>I only have gym with downiebro and palsy(what fucking irony) but pitbull now is in gym class.
> Pitbull keeps chewing on the equipment while palsy is on his chair doing nothing but moving his head around
> me and downiebro were about to play a shitty game of toss the ball
> softball is covered in spit and teethmarks from pitbull
> boi you triggered my tard rage now
> threw the ball at pitbull with all my might
> it hits his arm, but he doesn't give a shit and continues to chew on the jumping jacks
> pick up a football and throw it at him again
> hits his legs so hard he fell down in one single swoop
>euphoria.txt
>pitbull suddenly glares at me at tranquil rage, stands up and starts chasing at me
>his sudden chasing got my adrenaline going and I went full chicken running out of the gym
>ran all the way to the bathroom and slammed the bathroom stall
>I sit in this bathroom (with pants down) scared that pitbull will find me
>after 2 minutes, I hear the bathroom door opening
>trying to think on how i am going to get this out of this mess
>remember of what he did
>suddenly felt anger crawling up my spine
>slam the stall open to see
>a girl
>she jumps back and runs away
>dafuq
>realise I hid in the girls bathroom all this time
>mfw
>suddenly door slams open to see really fucking tard-raging pitbull
to be continued in next greentextsegment, this is where shit goes down

>>35869392
This is god-tier shit, OP.
Also, any tard girls that did dumb shit?

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>>35869283
sorta-fuckheadish now, still have that autism artifact in me still

anyway, The gym Incident part II: Mortal Kombat: Autistic Bloodbath
>Pitbull fucking WWWRRRYYYS at me
>wasted no time by trying to shove him to a wall
>Pitbull grabs me by the arm and stares at me
>he bares his fangs
>noticed a chipped tooth
>before I can pull counterattack, he kicks me in my groin and throws me down
> It fucking hurts so bad that I felt like hell was a paradise compared to this
> try to get back to a wall, audibly crying
>Pitbull corners me and pushes me back down
>Has both of his hands holding my arms down
>I thought I was going to die in that spot as I realized I fucked up right here
>out of instinct i shoved my knee into his stomach
>pitbull cringes at pain and lets go of me
>I didn't get up straight away because my balls are probably bleeding
>pitbull is fucking gagging
>can only stare in horror as he vomits up some really dark blue puke
>stunk like spoiled milk, green shit, and stomach acid.
>oh fuck its getting in all of my shoes
>stand back up and stare in complete awe at this weird puke shit he vomited up
>Its got chunks of shit and everything
i got 1 more part of this gym saga, but i got many more stories of this horrible tard class so dont cry out of grief

>>35869146
hey you, put me in the screencap

>>35869702
Don't stop nigga

>>35869146
>>35869705
I better fucking be in it too.

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>ITT: a full blown tard posts about other tards

>>35868122
You sound extremely underaged. And definitely retarded, no borderline about it.

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>>35869524
I didn't have any tard girls during that school year, but next year, I had only 1 tard girl with me, I'll get on that later
>>35869705
guess what birthday boi

Gym Incident Part III: and the most important part is the dick
>I have the upper hand at pitbull
>kicked him in the back sending him down on his own weird vomit
>kicked him out of revenge that he put me in this terrible hellspot while shouting
>lifted him so he is laying chest up
>remembered that he kicked kicked me in the dick
>with as much force I can muster, stomped his crotch at upmost force
>Pitbull screaming so loud it stunned me
> hit my head so hard the pain echoed through my head
>passed out on the spot
>the first thing I remembered when I woke up was in the nurse's office
>look to the right to see pitbull leaning on his side with a black eye
>remember the epic fight I had with him
>gg
pitbull ended up not showing up at my school anymore due to parents sending him away, I personally viewed it as a harsh victory against a terrible threat.. I remember that shit crisp and with no haze, it was the weirdest vomit i saw

>>35869807
>nigga
Did you mean "nigger"? Common mistake.

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>hey look guys it's tard ripper!
>op: some normies are looking, i need to look cool in front of them in my fight with ____ (enter tard name here)
>tard ripper is having a tantrum again and doesn't realize it

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one for the ages lads

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>>35869930
what do you expect in /r9k/?
>>35869959
what else reason I ended up in that school
>next day was suprisingly the last day I went to school due to the gym incident, I had to have a "goodbye day" with other tards
>palsy tard doesnt give a shit
>downiebro is crying
>venom chris gave me a gift (It was a spongebob plushie
>naruto-fan just said bye
>as my parents drove me out of that car, I remember looking back at the school and a i thought something like
>good riddance
that ends the saga of that shithole school my parents ended up homeschooling me for the rest of the school year, and nothing new happended. The next year after summer I went to a more popular school, so there I ended up getting myself into more shit there. I'll give 1 more story on the previous school, but that school had nothing on the school I went at 2009.

In the process of screencapping don't any of you niggers try to get it first

cung bung

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>>35870078
That actually happended.. I heard that school got itself into controversy due to rumors that a teacher/student beated up 2 tards in the womans restroom.
Anyway heres an extra story from the first middle school with naruto-fag. It wasn't really eventful, just a not-so-average day
>2 days after DS incident
>naruto-fag despises world geo teacher
>when teacher asked naruto-fag a question, he flipped his finger at her and said "fuck off"
>got sent to the principals office due to him always giving teacher the finger
next up we have my second middleschool stories comming up
>>35870268
Why, are you trying to act like one of the tards? Nobody in my school say's dumb gibberish like cungbung

>>35870332
>>happended
>>beated

Tell me again why you're in the tard class

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Alright, second term at a new school is started uneventful at first but it will pick up soon
>new school
>before we actually go to the class, the school organizes all of the students into the cafeteria
>Met a non-tard called penny
>Penny tries socializing with me, but socializing with a tard is like speaking to a statue
>finally get to my class
>the class is way bigger than my previous school, with an actual rare aspergered tard chick
>class is too big to actually introduce all of them to you in 1 post, I'll introduce them as we go on with the second school saga
>special ed classes are divided into 2 classrooms, I only got to see half of the special ed students for the first week.
>meet up with what I call pizza-boi
>pizza boi-is an obese nigger tard who pauses for a few seconds everytime he says a word
>during lunchtime, the only thing I see him eat is pizza
>nothing much happened, but I found out that Pitbull is in this school
now before you go on and say "OP is asspulling just to make the story climatic again" we never fought from now on, infact, we barely see eachother
>the teachers look unintrested, not even waving goodbye while i get on the tard bus.
that was it for the first day, but little did I know that Pitbull was the least of what this school had to offer for me.

Hurry up op

I just got back from a fap.

You better post more stories

>went to day treatment centers for middle and high school
>was in the tard class because high function aspie
>shit at rememebering stories
>shit at telling stories
RIP me.

Hi r/4chan!

Seriously though keep this up, this is intertaining

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>Second day of school
>Made it to the tard bus in time
>naruto-fag actually goes to same morning tard bus as I do, but not at afternoon tard bus
>he looks more like a cancer patient because of his prominent bald spot on his head
>told me that I was a legend at his school due to the fact that palsy kept telling kids that I beat up pitbull in an epic battle and some shit.
>the story was warped though as they made it as this epic beatdown story about me straight up beating up this kid rocky IV style
>felt good about it and told him that he should tell them that I kicked pitbulls nuts
>School was uneventful, but friday was the first eventful day of school I had.

>>35868122
Part 1 is posted to reddit.
Enjoy fags

>>35870784
its been like over half a decade since that happened.
>>35870665
did you try putting toilet paper around your dick to keep it from ejaculating everywhere? It works for me!
>>35870852
shit crop faggot fix it or Brendianal the faggot-voiced wont show my story to his normie-base

>>35870940
How else do you want me to crop it faggot theres so much of it

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on the third day of school, I couldn't resist telling people about my story beating up pitbull. Turns out that was a bad move
>Third week of school
>Having lunch with the tard table when some trashy nigger with a cracked cellphone started telling me to go beat up pitbull again
>I just wanted to eat my meal, so I said no
>suddenly, another nigger came and started supporting him so I can go beat pitbull
>a whole gang forms around me with their cameras and cellphones telling me to fight pitbull
>i accept
>they directed me all the way to pitbull eating the white styrofoam plates
>one of the gang tells him "AY DIS NIGGA WANNA BEAT YA ASS UP!!"
>Pitbull looks up in fear
>He bolts out of the lunchroom without hesitaton
>all of the blacks that were telling me to fight pitbull were chasing his ass like a cop car being fast on a car thiefs ass
> hear trampling of feet all over the school until it stopped
> gang has caught pitbull and restrained him so I can beat his ass all over again
> awkwardly slap him in the nuts (this was before we had sex ed)
>nigger gang goes fucking nuts
>the whole riot starts curb stomping pitbull while I try to run away
>ended up eating lunch in class with more inbred tards instead of the cafeteria

Still here OP, keep it up

Yeah, keep it going

Do none of you actual retards have a problem with the fact that this is obviously the same author as the fats mcgee story posted in first post, but from a completely different narrative point of view?

I mean sure, the stories are funny, but this guy ain't shakespeare and he sure as fuck isn't reporting REEL LIFE.

Its getting pretty late tho I'll cap one more greentext then pass on the torch to someone else

keep the ball rolling op

>>35868122
>alone in a room with another tard
>hear light clothes rustling
>glance over
>i think he was jerking off
>i think he also thought that I thought he was jerking off
>i was doped up on risperdol at the time so i didn't give a further shit

>>35871703
Seriously tho getting tired of waiting 15 mins for a post this is the last one then one of all fagots better document this shit

>>35871774
Fuck this its been 40 minutes OP is asleep. Night r9k

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sorry it took awhile
>>35871639
I am not the Fats Mcgee author. I am just some basement dweller overdosing on prescription drugs
>october
> was really scared of skeletons due to the fact they look like hollowed people
>every tard is excited to stuff their mouths full of candy
>asspie fem-tard said she was going as amy the hedgehog
>one tard has a real problem with sonic
>kept telling her sonic is gay
>teachers say they have a halloween dance night
>decided to go there since I don't go trick or treating
>ended up coming to the party early
>I open the school doors
>THE FUCKING HALLS HAVE SKELETONS
>I fucking bolted RIGHT THE FUCK IN THE CLASS SCARED AS SHIT
>was crying in the corner for 5 minutes before the others showed up
>many tards were dressed as early childhood characters they grew up in, few actually dressed up as something spooky
>fem-tard was dressed as amy
>anti-sonic tard goes into an autistic screech and claws her fucking face with his fake plastic nails
>one tard after seeing this shit goes haywire and starts eating all of the candy from the bowl
>within a minute the whole party turned into the tard-ning
>Tards were bursting into fits and tantrums all over the place
>some were even fighting
>tard guards to small in numbers to overpower the tard flood
>one tard ends up stripping down to his dick and trilled it around like a strip dancer
>I got so fucking triggered by his dick that I kicked his dick
>NO TOUCHING PEE PEE!! I screamed
>The police got involved and had to wrangle us
Best and worst halloween ever

>>35871933
K OP I got this last one. Probably publish Pt 2 tomorrow. Night

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Alright last story for you guys, its the friday incident.
>friday last period
>teacher tells us we are going to have fantastic friday
>basically if your good you can play
>As soon as she declares this and tells us to
go play, a chubby fat tard with glasses suddenly gets on the nearest computer
>claims he is a l33t hacker and knows how to bypass the school internet restrictions
>he downloads some shitty knockoff browser and gets into the antivirus program to stop antivirus from deleting it
>the first thing he did after that was to show porn
>not actual porn, but furry porn
>whole class stares at him for a brief moment
>suddenly, the entire tard class makes this weird noise
>"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH!?!"
>It lasted over 6 seconds and getting higher each second
>"L33t H8X0R" ended up suspended from school for downloading a virus and showing pornography in our school
thats it for tonight, I might end up giving more stories, but I am tired and I need my goodboipoints to get some mcnuggies for tomorrow. Goodbye!

>>35872053
I enjoyed this thread, tardo-kun

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you know what, fuckit i have insomina
>second semester of school
>had enough of homework and shit
>came to school with my sweater
>planning on strangling myself with it
>last period where all tards meet
>I begun the strangulation
>i try pulling hard, but it had no effect on me
>fem-tard keeps telling me to stop
>me at this nihilistic-suicidal state tell her its not her life so she can go fuck herself
>everyone is now paying attention to me
>teacher doesnt give a shit
>at that point, I believe my face turned red from the asphyxiation
>teacher finally gets concerned and takes me to the office
>still not stopping me suffocating
>eventually I pass out
>mfw fucking hell i lived

>>35872307
How old were when you tried to an hero with a sweater?

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>>35872449
I was about 13 at the time.

>>35872597
fucking hell you really were in a tard class. Why a sweater, man?

>>35872307
You ding-dong.
To be fair, I tried choking myself to death when I was about the same age.