Autistic shit you do alone

I make weird noises and say the same thing 100 times

>>35849508
>Op is so autistic he doesn't even know how to green text

>>35849508
I do all that stuff minus the feces examination. I also do some of that stuff in public, like making weird noises and having conversations with myself.

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>talk to myself pretending that I'm bringing a friend to shoot with me for the first time, explaining to them how a gun works, safety and how to shoot

>say "'machamp use seismic toss" whenever I deadlift or clean.

>>35849616
>Machamp
>He means Snorlax

>>35849675
Delusion is part of the autism

>>35849508
i talk to myself to. i talk to myself as if i was a totally different people

real autistics do autistic shit in public

I stim like a motherfucker on public transit because fuck you, I need that shit to put up with my work environment, deal with me spinning around and stretching and whatever.

>>35849508
>using hyphens as bullet points
>not greentexting
Gb2 reddit you absolute mong, I'm sure you think this is all fun and games le muh autism LOL!! but no one wants you here.

>>35849508
>make weird autist noises
>Talk to my dog like as a normal human
>Imagine past scenarios in highschool where I'm in a band playing in some classroom while in actuality to m jamming to music in my room
I do this a lot actually even imagening conversations with girls I don't even know but I stalk on normbook even with girls I used to know back in high school.

>>35849508

>whisper conversations with myself, to myself
>make autistic car noises

>I grab object and pretend I'm playing COD

>>35849508
>>35849575
Do you talk out loud? I often simulate conversations with other peoplem, where I explain my point of view about something, and I simulate a debate, which is very autistic, IMO. But it's all in my mind, I don't actually talk.

>I drive with my hands in a static position 10 and 2 position pretending to play GTA V

>>35849797
>tfw entertain my dogs need to patrol and explore

If that's what he likes doing who am I to stop him.

>>35849838

Seconding this. Sometimes I put this video https://youtu.be/C7xzdvM7dnA and pretend I'm the one shooting the cops

>>35849853
This too but I tend to talk aloud

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>>35849817
Is this you?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tnw9I_T5tvQ

>>35849853
>>35849936
Do you also have grandiose hypothetical discussions where you go on a talk show and explain how the world works?

>>35849508
>scream stand noises from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
I feel it. I have a bad habit of posing whenever I hear Bloody Stream or Crazy Noisy Bizarre Town, which I did for a while every time I got in my car.

>>35850029
Oh yeah.

t. >>35849853

>>35850067
Have you ever been told you have ADD or ADHD? this is a typical symptom someone has in their early adult years when they were diagnosed with those conditions at a young age. There are some publications somewhere that link it to specific upbringings and don't draw conclusions that it is ADD or ADHD (the latter do not all symptomatically have self-reflective speech)

have conversation scenarios with myself that almost end up being 100% accurate IRL when applied (had this happen more than 4 times)

hum or make random noises to military songs' beats, metal songs, etc

talk to myself about the RKKF and it's operations.

talk to myself about my shitty life

talk to myself

laugh at my jokes

>>35849797
everybody talk to their dogs like a human being

>>35850129
No, but maybe it's undiagnosed...

sarcastically rant to myself (loudly) on the way back to my car from class

OH GREAT, IT RAINED, AND THAT MEANS ONE THING AND ONE THING ONLY.... MY FEET AND THE INSIDE OF MY CAR ARE ABOUT TO BE COVERED IN LOTS OF HUMAN SHIT! I LOOOOVE LIVING AROUND ALL THESE HOMELESS PEOPLE. PILE ON THE SHIT WOOHOOO

>make contorted faces in front of the mirror every time I enter the bathroom
>fondle my balls and smell my hand after
>dance/sing to whatever I'm listening to like a hyper autist

>have conversation with myself about a topic
>pretend there is two people arguing to each other
>get to the point where im legitimately upset and angry over a hypothetical imaginary argument with myself that i have to go let of steam

>get in front of the mirror
>get one of those long cucumbers
>pretend jerk off while looking myself in the eyes and screaming "demon! demon!" and hiss

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>>35852364
i really hope you are a grill because that would be so fucking funny to walk in on
>grill pretending to jack off her dick in front of mirror while angrily hissing at herself

>>35850859

At least you're funny anon.

>>35851904
>make contorted faces in front of the mirror every time I enter the bathroom
>fondle my balls and smell my hand after
>dance/sing to whatever I'm listening to like a hyper autist
I'm sure those are all pretty common.

>>35851904
>>35852432
literal original normie tier, gtfo my board and kys

>>35852408
I just hope I can live up to the inspiration of sam hyde

make noises like this

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1dULIbcNQFN

>Imagine I'm the frontman of whatever band I'm listening to
>Dance around my room autisticly
>Imagine what cool shit my wikipedia page would say about me
>Hold #2 in bc it feels good (not sexually)
>Hold two fries and bite the tops off so they're even and then dip it in ketchup
>Switch between obsessively staring at myself in the mirror and avoiding them completely

read too much /pol/ and imagine myself as the leader of some powerful movement to drive muslims out of the west with rallies surrounded by a personal army and the hope and support of a nation

>>35852614
>Hold #2 in bc it feels good (not sexually)
confirmed for german

>>35849508
every thing i do alone at the park (walk dogs at night)
>talk to myself the the whole walk
>chase the dogs round when at the end of the park
>stare at people at the park if there is anyone else there at night
>sometimes whip my cock and balls out (rarely)
>laugh really loud for no reason
>growl to myself

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>>35852573
me too lol but i do it voluntarily for fun

I use batteries until they are 100% depleted, which means about once a week I get my multi meter out and check their voltages under load and swap them around if needed.

>wear moms underwear
>fucked frozen chicken once (even postied it here)
>stick different things up my anus (pens, keys, even a fork once)
>watch youtube videos of sjws debating and pretend to argue with them, using arguments Ive written on a piece of paper after watching the video numerous times

I dont know how 2017 years of evolution have let to something like me

>>35852666
what does that mean?
and no, I'm American

>>35852941
germans have a weird thing with their assholes. not shared with french or english. if you're not german, you probably have german heritage and you don't even know it; anal retentiveness got passed down genetico-culturally

>>35852986
can you expand on this
I wanna know more
my dad is Pennsylvania Dutch so you might have a point here

>>35849508
>say "y'all need JAY-SUS" in my head a thousand times a day

>>35853054
I say "Fuck you, asshole" all the time in my head

>>35853033
it probably has to do with your pottie training or somethign man, idk.

it's more of a "vibe" that I get from german culture than any guaranteed things. Mozart wrote songs about people licking his ass, Freud described the concepts of anal retentive/expulsive, etc, which don't really mean anything to anglos but resonate bigly with germans.

As dutch are essentially germans with a sense of humor, it would make sense.

Also most US obsession with anuses (Jack Black fart jokes, etc.) is, in my opinion, directly tracable to the MASSIVE midwestern german influx in the late 19th/early 20th century.

It doesn't seem anywhere near as strong of a current in Anglo culture.

Also, another thought I had:

It seems like sufficiently "complex" civilizations wear out the "normal" human loci (mouth, genitals) and start to invest emotional energy in subaltern, unusual bodily functions: germans become obsessed with anuses and scatplay (recall the "german table", that glass contraption that lets you see ladies shit on you...) japs become obsessed with barfing and emetophilia. It's just a sign of an advanced culture. Idk

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>>35853033
>Pennsylvania Dutch

What the fuck does that even mean?

Also Dutch =/= German.

>>35853088
wow, you are pretty observant, this might have to do with the German scat/waterplay stereotype though, like you said. Maybe it's not just a German phenomena, but their personality is just more open about it.

>>35853136
Never mind. Americans just being retarded as usual.

>The word "Dutch" does not refer to the Dutch people (Nederlanders) or their descendants, but to Deitsch or Deutsch (German).

>>35853082
I do this too a lot lately, spontaneous cursing. Can depression and stress actually give you tourrettes at an old age? I thought you we're born with it.

I also like to pace around the house, can't stand still in one place. It's called akathisia but I don't know if I actually have it or if it's something that every one does to some degree.

talk with myself all the time like an autist

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>>35853169
sasuga americans, you can't make this shit up

>>35849508

> Buy Gatorade at convenience store

> Play a wrstler's theme song on my phone. (Triple H for example)

> Pretend I'm them.

>talking in a game or something using a microphone (have always used push to talk)
>inadvertently repeat shit I say 2-3 times
>friend points this out while in a voice activated lobby

>>35852721
Are you telling me there are people who don't recharge batteries? They just buy new ones every single time?
Duracell confirmed Hebrews

>>35852722
Raw chicken anon?...

>>35853136
>>35853169
Europoor """"""""education""""""""

>have imaginary hypothetical conversations and get so involved in them that i start actually talking out loud
>run up the stairs holding an imaginary rifle and clear all the rooms as tacticool as i can
>sit and concentrate really hard to try and break myself out of the matrix

>>35849508
Fuck man I know anime is autism but I love jojo. Anime in general (but especially jojo) just does something to my autistic man child brain that makes it so much more memorable and fun to watch than regular shows.

>sit on thd floor with my back against the couch
>sleep with my childhood teddy bear hugged to my chest
>when sitting at desk i shove my toes into the floor then forget about them until the pins and needles get too painful

>walk way too fast in public and have trouble slowing down or turning suddenly so i bump into things/people a lot
>while out in public when i get overwhelmed I'll start muttering short phrases to myself over and over, or one "ok" then inhale deeply

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>>35849508
>pretend to be powering up Dragon Ball Z style when taking a particularly hard shit

Realize I am a master swordsman zenmaster with godlike physical and supernatural abilities

>>35854492
we're almost the same, but i do it somewhat different
>pretend to be crushing the little screen thing vegeta wore on his ear in the over 9000 meme when talking a huge shit

I like to imagine what chewing glass would be like, imagining the texture is soothing somehow. I never imagine it cutting my mouth, just crunching in a similar way to ice but different at the same time. Often while imagining I'll hold a drinking glass between my teeth and gently bite down.

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>>35854580
>tfw i actually bit glasses as a kid so hard they would break in my mouth
freaked people the fuck out