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Anonymous
Tendies/ neet stories 2017-03-28 01:57:55 Post No. 35844193
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Tendies/ neet stories 2017-03-28 01:57:55 Post No. 35844193
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I did good today /r9k/.
>be me
>beautiful, big (432 lbs) 28 year old baby boy
>playing hunnie pop
>tummy rumbles, need tendies ASAP, haven't eaten in 1 WHOLE HOUR
> "MUMMIE TENDIE TIME YOUR BIG BOY IS HUNGRY"
>"I'll make your chicken in an hour anon, I'm on a business call right now"
> AN HOUR
>does this bitch want to be locked up for child abuse ?
> I guess I'll have to get them myself
>take mummies 1996 dodge grand caravan, with special big boy accommodations (pic related)
> hop in, suspension makes a cool creaking noise
>take the wheel and rev the engine
>Blast off at top speeds, heading straight for the nearest Walmart
>targetaquired.jpg
>Start hurling towards the parking lot, but i see a collapsed shopping cart shelter
>lightbulb.gif
>use it as a ramp and launch myself into the Walmart
>go crashing through the glass at the front of the store, but because I'm so big and healthy i keep going and hit a bunch of coke 12-packs arranged in an american flag.
>shit tier soda come crashing down on me, covering my chariot in nasty cola
>I burst out of the big boy door and unsheathe my katana
>about six normie boy scouts doing a food drive where crushed under my personal transport
>it's okay, they're just meatbag NPCs
> "GIMME GIMME CRISPY CHICKEN OR SOME ASSES ARE GONNA NEED KICK'N"
>run into the actual store itself at Naruto speed
> see the frozen food isle
>i can taste victory
> use my katakana to slash everybody in my way
> i cannot slow down because of my healthy weight
>smack into glass, tendies come cascading down on me
>grab as many as i can and run to the counter
> Hot girl working the register
>she's making the sound Hirohito-san made in super Okinawa tentacle rape 89, a kind of yelling
>she gets on the phone, calling for the "police"
> "NOT TO FEAR YOUNG, LARGE BREASTED MADAM"
> jump on her
>shes making the noise even louder now
>suddenly, police enter the building
comment is too long, pt.2 in replies
>>
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>>35844193
hmm this sounds like the start of a very nice tendie story, keep going anon.
>>
Where's the other half, bitch?
>>
>"POLICE DROP THE SWORD"
>fuckin normies
>slash him and take m'lady with me
> take a nearby cargo van
>go speeding down the highway, cops in hot pursuit
>home is in sight
>jerk steering wheel like they do in initial d
>turn the shiftier to the "P" option for power speed
> van flips over and barrels into living room
>take m'lady and run upstairs to my lair.
>hear mommie yell
>"ANON WHY THE FUCK IS THE SWAT TEAM HERE"
> when will they learn that nippon steel beats all
>charge towards gun-toting normie
>loud bang
>wake up to tendies and anime
life's good
>>
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so, does anybody else have similar stories?
>>
>midnight
>have been playing Tera all day
>MOOOOOOMMM I'M HUNGRYYYYY
>COOK ME SOMETHINGGGG
>"my dear billy boy I'm so tired right now, why don't you take the car and go buy yourself something?"
>mom lets me borrow her Mazda CX-3 and gives me $20 to go buy some tendies and soda
>I'm a big responsible boy now so I can have adult responsibilities like going to buy food all by myself!
>drive to local McDonald's, run about 3 red lights because I was concentrated noticing the crack patterns in the pavement
>arrive, wait the drive-thru queue blasting my favourite anime music
>finally my turn to order
>"sorry sir we're currently out of stock on Chicken nuggets"
>you fucking what
>explode in rage
>REEEEEEEEEE
>rev the fuck out and leave
>almost run over some normie chad on the driveway, whatever
>I'm in tears
>what should I do
>remember there's another McDonalds on the neighbouring town, 40 miles away
>sure whatever, lets go, everything for my tendies
>drive like a madman, weave through traffic going 100 mph
>superhuman driving ability thanks to the steering wheel for GT6 my mom's boyfriend bought me
>arrive there in about 20 minutes
>finally get to McDonalds, order a large order of tendies and a large diet coke.
>driving victorious back home
>see the police in the rear view mirror
>**RED HATCHBACK PULL OVER NOW**
>oh shit
>brake and pull over
>WE GOT A REPORT OF A CAR VERY SIMILAR TO THIS ONE SPEEDING AND DRIVING DANGEROUSLY
>WAS THAT YOU?
>panic, don't know what to do
>"eh, heheh, eto..."
>SIR STEP OUT OF THE VEHICLE
>oh shit they're arresting me
>they want to take my tendies away
>yell "NOT TODAY FUCKERS"
>run as fast a 330 lbs big boy can
>police officers tases me and I drop to the floor
>shit and piss myself
>they take to the police station and call my mom
>she has to take an uber costing her $100 to take me out of custody
>the police just releases me, laughing their asses
>I stink and can't stop crying
>she never let me borrow the car again
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>mommy buys my way into the office of mayor for my 35th birthday
>throw away stupid wood chair
>put in GTR-racer
>hot secretary comes in
>sir, how should we improve local buisness
>"build a giant screen in the middle of the main plaza so i can play nekopara"
> "w..what?"
> "bring me tendies too"
> "o...okay"
>a bunch of suited normalfags are seen outside fighting
>masturbate to katia managan porn on the city's laptop
>a few weeks of this bullshit and there's riots in the streets because i put pictures of kat waifu on all streetcorners
>tell chief of police to deploy katana police
>instead I'm thrown out of office and replaced by some stupid chad
fucking american politics
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