''So, why should i hire you for this job?''

>>35836612
I'll lick your pussy :)

>>35836625
And then what?

oreganos comentanos

>''Because I'm a shit faggot."
Guaranteed results.

>>35836612
Because you are searching someone?

>>35836612
>As you can see in my resume, I already have 2+ years experience performing the duties outlined for this position
>My biggest weakness would be product knowledge, which I tackle by taking in as much material and training offered by you, and rehearsing and role playing until I know the product just as well as the team that develops it
>I am an task oriented individual that doesn't need micromanagement to follow deadlines and production quotas. I am self motivated, and look forward to raising the standards of this position.

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>>35836666
I'm searching someone who is qualified for the job, Satan.

>>35836652
>And then what?

Let you step on me and degrade me :^)

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>>35836612
out of pity .

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>>35836612
Because of my experience, qualifications, and active social life which will help me fit into a team easily.

im a flexible, dynamic and proactive task juggler with supreme accordance with the juxtapositional dexterity migraine of business accounting

>>35836695
We need someone who can work well with the other employees as a team, can you do that? Are you good interacting with other people?

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>>35836735
I'm going to ask you to not use such language when talking to me you degenerate, else i'll crush testicles with my high heels.
>>35836757
Flex your anus on this table right here, please.
>>35836744
Tell me about your qualities and flaws while you massage my sweaty feet.

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>>35836666
>be in office lobby with all the other candidates waiting for interviews
>look to my left
>see satan sit down in that chair right there
>know i have a zero percent chance of getting job if he is being considered
>challenge devil to fiddle duel for job

>>35836612

I don't work for women.

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>>35836998
>not wanting to have a dominant female boss who will shove dildos in you anus while she strokes your micro-penis after scolding you for getting late at work

nigger what?

Whoa is this nightmare vision?

Because I have experience in the field and can offer skills in all the fields you've listed. Specifically, I'm familiar with x, y, z, and "team leadership"(, which secretly means that the manager of party city left me in charge once so he could go have a smoke, but it's not like team leadership is a real quantifiable thing anyway so what the fuck do you care).

>>35837174

That's a cute fantasy. In real life I can assure you that working for a female is much more unpleasant than having dildos shoved up your ass.

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>>35836737
It says here that you dropped out of school, is that right?
>>35837210
Do you have a problem working with people of other ethnicities and or different sexual orientations?

>>35837307
I have a problem with you still wearing clothes and not spreading your legso on the desk dumb clut

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>>35837345
I'm calling security, i don't like the way you're talking to me right now, mister...

>>35837409
*teleports behind you*
*telports zipper to the unzipped position*
*smacks phone out hand*
not so fast slut
let me ortder pizza first heheheh
*orders dominoes and tells them I need 40 pies to the office right now*
Hope you enjoy lioving on the streets, I aint paying for none of them pizza pies

>>35837307
No, certainly not. (This is where I would think about expounding - I actually am gay, I was raised in a very multicultural area, etc - and then realize that literally anything other than the word no makes you sound like you're asking for a prize, so fuck that trick question.)

>>35837517
Oh not, not the pizza pies
>>35837571
You're hired you massive faggot

>>35837258
This guy guy gets it. The rest are too young, too stupid, too naive, or too delusional to accept reality.

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>>35836612
>>35836726
>>35836891
>>35837307
>>35837409
>tfw want to be chained to the desk of an office lady boss and made to worship her feet all day

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>>35838039
make it real, please

>>35838039
i would love that job

>>35838039
who is this AND IS IT GRAVURE OR YURI I CANT HANDLE DICKS

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>>35837625
>>35837258
I like having dildos shoved up my butt so i don't see the problem here

>>35836612
Because I got a genetic test and I found out that i'm 0.3% MENA.

>office environment

No thank you

>>35836612
Because I need money reeeeee my neetbux
can't cover my bills HELP ME OFFICE LADY.

>>35836612
Because I dont wanna starve

Because I'm next on the union book and if you don't you get to speak to the BA?

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>>35841872
>>35841907
>>35840485
None of these are a good reason, please leave my office and go back to the shit hole you should've never crawled out of and die.

>>35842071
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I WILL SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK

>>35836612
Because I fucking know where you live roastie.

>>35836612
I know how to program in Excel mam. The last job I worked for, I was able to cut down routine tasks by on average 80%

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>>35842145
It doesn't matter. There's nothing you can do or say that's gonna get you inside this moisty haggard pussy and you know it. Also, i'm calling the cops.
>>35842174
Would you be ok with receiving periodic penis inspections twice a week?

>>35842300
Caught red handed *pulls out Better Business Bureau badge*. We are shutting your business down effective immediately you scum

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>>35842341
What can i do to convince you to change your mind, Mr.FBI?

>>35836772
Yes, allow me to recite my prepared and rehearsed S.T.A.R story about a time I worked on a team to complete a difficult project ahead of schedule and under budget

>>35842413
Under budget and ahead of schedule. I like that. You're hired!

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>>35842413
I'm listening
*takes high heels off*

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>>35842300
>moisty haggard pussy
LMAO

>Also, i'm calling the cops
Immediately begin punching self in face until I bleed everywhere.

I'm *very* diverse ;)

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>>35842515
P-please stop... You're hired.

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>>35842477
O-oh nooooo, my boner.

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>>35836612
I would sooner work for a nigger than a roastie.

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>>35842645
Not so fast post-menopausal roastie. I just learned that I'm a gay trans-nigger. Your assault qualifies as a hate crime and you can do serious time for that. I have a solution that can benefit both of us. I can do this job from home, and you'll never have to see me again.

>Neetbux here I come

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>>35842898
> I was actually a male pansexual muslim communist.

You accusming me of assault qualifies as an antisemitic hate crime agains gay muslim people. Yeah i'm calling the cops on you, you're going to racist jail

>>35836612
>Why shouldn't you? ;^)

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>>35842785
What's wrong anon? You seem tense