"DO YOU BROWSE ROBOT9001?"

>>35829123

I'll have the tendies

"Can shave mine nipples?"

GIVE ME YOUR GENITALS

First, eat these eggs.

BLACKED or Dogfart, princess?

>>35829123
>so let's talk fetishes

"Do you think a one world currency will happen in our life time?"

>>35829123
"I fucking hate niggers."
This didn't ruin 3/5 dates so idk what I'm doing wrong (right)?

>>35829123
>those roofies working yet?

>Do
>You
>browse
>robot
>nine
>thousand
>and
>one
Thats 7 words you fucking autist retart

>>35829205
>>thousand
>>and
>>one
lol you fucking idiot

Afraid I'm not rich.

>>35829123

"Can I eat your ass?"

>this was not original

lol

>>35829123
Do you like warhammer40k ?

"Ruin a first date"

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"Can you get fat?"

I hate nigger cocks

>>35829123
assuming she is a normie

Islam is a problem

>>35829123
do you like pepe?

anything chan related

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My dick is 3''

I am a virgin

originale

>>35829123
"I love you Anonette."
/thread

can i lick you?

>>35829123
>That fart was poo

>>35829123
"my dog enjoys it"
"You're paying the bill?"
"It's perfectly average okay"
"I live at home"
"I go on 4chan"

i jizzed my undies

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I only date traps

>>35829123
'Is sucking dick gay?'

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>>35829271
Shit man, this is one of my biggest insecurities.

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I like husky knots

>>35829123
Do you watch hentai?

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I have a coupon

>>35829620
Huskyanon has been corrupted by sin he must be sacrificed to the lord.

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You're a big guy

I've caught myself saying "For you" in front of normies too many times

>>35829123
"You are an egg?"

THIS IS AN ORIGINAL COMMENT GODDAMNN

Be my mommy gf

Oregino

>>35829123
"Damn bitch, you ugly"

>>35829123
I hope you die

I doubt this will be original

>>35829123

SHOW ME THE PUSY

>>35829123
I watch Power Rangers

>>35829123
From my own experience:
"Hello, my name is-"

And they're gone.

>>35829123
I'm a sensitive boy

This date is ruined!

Of course this wasn't original. I should've known.

>>35829123
I write sonic fanfiction

You like small one's?

>>35829123
lmfao
thnx OP

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"I like mecha anime."
This is guaranteed to ruin any kind of date, period. Not a single living soul on this Earth has both an active-enough social life to date and a fondness for cartoon robots.

>Me fucky your mommy?

>I pee blood everyday

>I have aids babe

>Want 2 inches dick?

Hello, do you I?

I am below 6'

>>35829123
"you are fucking ugly" oregano

>>35830043
Yeah, I find terrible grammar is a huge turn off.

let's talk about jews

Meet my friend Tyrone

>>35829157
i need this laugh anon, thanks

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>>35829123
"do you like memes"

what was it too obvious?

>>35830125
no, it's a fail
that is not a date ruiner these days, but a legitimate conversation starter

it's just that to normies, "memes" mean something entirely different

Not 4 words but fuck it
>My friends call me anon.

>>35830125
"Oh yeah, I saw that bedfellows cartoon about memes! I love them!"
How do you respond?

Note: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A36qTv3K7Gk

>>35829123
Traps are not gay


Sadly not original

>I really like you
very, very originally of course

>>35830159
I dunno man, I've been so far removed from society.
I don't get it anymore.

>>35830186
start collecting bread sticks
"I'll be right back, I have to be.... somewhere"

I main Mai Natsume

>>35829123
I have only 7 inches

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>>35829830
I was once pressured into reciting the entire plane scene in front of my crush because I let my normie friends know that I thought the scene was funny and knew it by heart.

>>35829123
Suck on my nipples?

I fucked your father

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>>35830347
If someone says "Big Guy" I gotta say 4U.
Goddammit /tv/

Getting into conversations about memes at work really is eggshells material. You gotta play it low key all the time until they mention "right" leaning memes before you know it won't be too cancerous.

>mfw pissing off normies by ironically dabbing and using Damn Daniel as a conversation starter at work

>>35829123

fuck my boy pussy

>>35830434
>mfw pissing off normies by ironically dabbing and using Damn Daniel as a conversation starter at work

Sorry anon but this isn't the D E V I L I S H thread

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>>35830509
Using their own memes against them works wonders.

Who knew normies would get rustled by the stale memes they created when they're the ones who always beat a dead horse?

>>35829123
This date is over!

>Me me big boy

Wow whats for dinner

>>35829123
gums!, long clit clues?

im virgin be gentle

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>>35829123
I'm
A
Genji
Main

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>>35829830
>friend calls me a "big guy" at some point during a conversation
>"for you"
>"what?"
>"f-for you, get it?"
>"what are you on about?"
>"nevermind"
Wake me up inside

>>35830788
All my friends already know about the big guy thing

you obviously aren't doing it hard enough if they don't

>>35830817
The thing is I've baneposted with him before. I think he was just too drunk at the time.

>>35830837
Did you do....other things, too?

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>>35830848
What... "other things"? What are you getting at here anon?

>>35830894
Heh...well...two young men, drunk together...things could happen, you know ?

Maybe you felt some of his big muscles and got a little excited, eh ?

>>35830904
Dats gay, man. Don't be gay.

>>35829123
"What makes you special?"
"What do you do?"

>>35830904
Ewww no, his penis is nowhere near feminine enough for me

"I am not Chad."

Oregon

>>35830666

Me me Big boy.

>oregano

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"Do you like traps"?
Oregiali

>>35829123
>Please, I love you.

original

>>35829123
"I'm not a feminist"
It's too obvious desu xD

"I am only 5'8"

>>35829123
can you peg me?
this is unoriginal

>>35829123
Are you a coalburner?

shop fronts

>youre paying half, right?

>>35829234
Can I eat your ass is 5 words dipshit

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"Show me your soles."
"I like smelly shoes."
"Show me your armpits."
"I love hirsute women."
"Please be my feeder."
"Are you into ABDL?"
"I make fake scat."
"I own female fursuits."
"I play pretend castration."
"I want to crossdress."

>>35832179
>own
*want.

>>35832171
ok then just scream CAN I EAT ASS how about that hahahah

>>35832179
>fake scat
>want female fursuits
>pretend castration
>want to crossdress

what the fuck are you doing being so half assed about it, go hard or go home

>>35829123
I fuck baby butt

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Only faggots main medic

>>35830082
> me fucky your mommy
I woke my bf up from laughing so hard

> Can we get married?

> I'm from the Philipenes

>>35829123
Women belong in kitchens

>>35832179
your the black anon who ate his own shit and got off to being called human garbage.
Please stop avatarfagging with that picture you fucking autist

>>35829157
Is this a jojo reference

Oregano

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nine thousand and one is multiple words hunny

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>>35832280
I can't use real shit because I have a tooth cavity, also I live with my mother.
But I did sound my dick with a audio jack.

Female fursuits are expensive and I don't think my mom would appreciate me spending bux on kemono suits.

>>35832476
>got off to being called human garbage.
What's wrong with that?

>>35829157
Mighty kek Newfags Can't relate to this

"Look at my face" would probably do it.

>>35829123
Huge bottles of cum.

Piss in the sink.

>>35829123
I don't like scifi

>>35829123
i love dead rats

>>35832589
web search "you have to eat all the eggs"

Take that shit off.

>>35829750
Shouldn't that tell them you're money savvy?

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I'm a gay furfag

Fatter than I imagined.

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>>35832315
Only niggers main demoman.

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>>35830904
What are ya? Fucking gay?

Are you a virgin?
orig

>>35829157
Well played.
Originaloj

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AYO BBY WANT DICK???

>>35829123
I browse 9gag everyday

I nut to lolis

No boipuccy, no service

>>35829123
i Iike donald trump

l voted for trump.

Give me cummies daddy.

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I drink monster energy.

>>35831052
That's the shirt I've been hearing about?

>>35833792
>implying scout mains aren't the true turboniggers

>>35830788
You could have just told him it was a reference and said forget it.

>>35829123

>Go fuck yourself cunt

There

>>35835023

>*fuck off you cunt

Sounds even better

Dress like pony, bitch

its not about what you say its about how you say it

you can say something very alpha but if you mumble who the fuck is gonna date you

if you say something retarded but with confidence she may not hate,be disgusted by you

sig heil and i still leave 2 words free

I don't party

I watch Japanese cartoons

I'm a virgin

I play video games

It's too easy. I'm far too incompatible with modern women.

>>35835413
It's socially acceptable to watch anime. It's not socially acceptable to "watch anime".

Everyone and your grandmother plays video games. Just don't be a "gamer".

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What's your spaghetti policy?

MY WAIFU IS SAD

>>35835511
I've become a weeb that reads some manga and LNs with occasional anime in the mix while being a pretty hardcore gamer without sperging about games to everybody who doesn't care about them.

That and limited socializing makes the scenario where I'm in a date quite surreal, occupying my mind instead of trying to get a gf feels better as long as I don't accidentally get a tfw no gf. Sharing any kind of ongoing interest not counting mobile casual gamers and entry level weebs in the area of interest requirement makes it only realistic to give up. I don't want someone who doesn't get why I do something I'm entertained by, "it just does" is not enough.

>>35829157
kek, remeber that

>>35829123
I dig buff chicks