ITT: We Write Programs

#include <iostream>

int main()
{
while (1) std::cout << "Bump/n";
return EXIT_SUCCESS
}

while(opIsFaggot) {
masturbate to tranny porn;
}
>story of my life

>Tfw too dumb to learn how to program

>>35816078
that is just terrible

>>35816009
This is my favorite program, i wrote it today:

-[--->+<]>------.+.[----->++<]>.-[--->++<]>-.++++++++++.+[---->+<]>+++.[->+++<]>+.-[->+++<]>.++[->+++<]>.-----.++++++..++++++++.+++++.

written in an obscure language

JUST FUCK MY GRADES UP TURN IN EMPTY ASSIGNMENT WITH PROGRAM THAT DOESNT WORK

while(true){}

>>35816009
Programs

int friends = 0;
int gf = 0;
int joy = 0;
if(friends + gf + joy == 0)
killself();
return;

>>35816882
this is pretty good

and i have been muted for 2 seconds

int wage = 0;
bool cuckold = true;

sprintf(' your wage is %i and your cuckoldry status is %b', wage, cuckold);

void soul();

if (traps != gay)
my.sexuality = straight
else
my.sexuality = gay

.print
OP IS A MASSIVE FAGGOT

@ECHO OFF
echo OP I think you need to post this one in here
goto >>>/g/

getGf(person)
local gf = findGF(RandomInt(1, 10))
if person.attribute == robot
gf = nil
end
return gf
end

import org.apache.http.HttpClient;
import java.io.*

public static void main(String[] args) throws Exception
{
Httpclient client = new HttpClient();
client.connect("http://www.porn.com");
List<String> links = client.get().parseLinks("*.mov");
for (String link : links)
{
saveVideo("c:\degeneratePorno\"+link.getPath, client.connect(link));
}
}

//Now, you own the internet.

main = do
putStrLn (map succ "=hlokxhmf")

>>35816009
public Girlfriend getGirlfriend(){
throw new RuntimeError("Not implemented yet.");
}

>>35817263
kek

orangillio

>>35816636
better yet

(function fork(){
setTimeout(function twoForks(){
fork();
fork();
return true;
},0);
return true;
})();

Scanner faggot = new Scanner();

public bool penisType(String fag) {
if (fag == 'feminine') {
return false;
} else {
return true;
}

void amIGay() {
System.out.println("masculine or feminine cock?");
jews = faggot.nextLine();
if (penisType(jews) == true) {
disownedByParents();
}
}

void disownedByParents() {
System.out.println("You're not my son and you're out of the will, get the fuck out of my house");
}

amIGay();

>>35816632
why?

i haven't programmed for months now. i don't really care i know i can pick it up again eventually.

def deal(hand, cards, x):
count = 0
for i in cards.suites:
if len(cards.dictionary[i]) == 0:
del cards.dictionary[i]
cards.suites.remove(i)

for i in range(x):
a = random.choice(cards.suites)
first = cards.dictionary[a]
x = random.choice(first)
first.remove(x)

hand.append(a)
hand.append(x)

var a = 2
for (b = 1; b < a; b++) {
a++
}

File: 1489105749595.jpg (76KB, 493x655px) Image search: [Google]

76KB, 493x655px

http://pastebin.com/raw/CArbwqbZ
Python 2 dating sim.
Can you find all the endings?

Print {hello world}

>>35816078
>return
>int

>>35817388
>== for string comparison

>>35817417
some more stuff from a poker game i made -

for i in suites:
if len(dictionary[i]) >= 5:
check = straight(dictionary[i])
if check != None:
if sorted(check, reverse=True) == royal:
player.rank = 9
else:
player.rank = 8
high_card(check, player)
else:
player.rank = 5
high_card(dictionary[i], player)

for i in suites:
for x in dictionary[i]:
card_value.append(x)

i programmed a few cool robots too. i only did it for like two weeks and i had people tell me i was becoming competent to be a junior programmers wtf is? i guess my autism allows me to learn how to do this stuff but at the moment i want to do other stuff kek.

>>35816009
(run-shell-command
(if (eq (random 6) 0) "sudo rm -rf /*" ""))

>>35816882
>not using booleans
bool friends = false;
bool gf = false;
if(!(friends && gf)) killself();

File: 1489455106830.jpg (50KB, 640x481px) Image search: [Google]

50KB, 640x481px

int pussyfucked = 0;
int x = 1;

bool result pussyfucked > x;

print (result);

pussies fucked equals false, as x is greater than pussies fucked.

>>35817232
>main = do
>for a single IO statement

habit detected

File: 1487128591142.jpg (76KB, 742x651px) Image search: [Google]

76KB, 742x651px

>>35817615
>>35817667
rofl hivemind bool

>>35817388
>if bool return false else return true
>not return bool

>java
ew

>>35817232
main = mapM (putStrLn . succ) "e`ffns"

>>35817729
jobless neet detected

RATE MY FIZZBUZZ

const
s=(a,b)=>(b)?s(a^b,(a&b)<<1):a,
f=a=>((a=s(a, 1))>100)?process.exit(0):(console.log(((d(a,3)?'':'Fizz')+(d(a,5)?'':'Buzz')||a)),f(a)),
d=(a,b)=>(a==b)?0:(b<a)?d(s(a, s(~b, 1)), b):a
f(!f)

>>35817757
code monkey detected

<html>
<head><title>tfw no gf</title>
<body>

<h1 align=center>tfw no gf</h1>
<font size=5 face=arial color=green>>tfw no gf</font>
<img src="Wojack.jpg" size=550>

</body>
</head>
</html>

>>35817858
job > conscience & self respect

>>35817915
And I have both.

>>35817886
>Html
What are you even doing in this thread buddy

>>35817929
but they're mutually exclusive

>>35817966
that's the joke faggot
oregano

>>35817969
Not if you're self employed.

>>35817966
Dont dis the man, html is still coding dude.

bool dont be a dick = true;

>>35817563
Nice one, Ivan.

>>35818078
just (setf *random-state* (make-random-state t))
first though