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>Get asked by neighbour feed their cats for a couple of days

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Thread replies: 88
Thread images: 9

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>Get asked by neighbour feed their cats for a couple of days
>ok no problem
>in their house
>be me, huge pervert
>decide to sniff neighbour's mom's panties
>sneak into room, going through drawers
>find large dildo, jackpot
>start to lick the dildo like it was a crack lollipop
>go home and fap furiously
>MFW when I remember I put the dildo in the wrong drawer
>MFW they get back in a few hours
>>
>>35812519
This is why I'm smart enough to never ask an autistic neckbeard for help.
>>
WTF do I do robots?
will she realise?
>>
>>35812519
This is why I'm smart enough to just tell people I'm lazy and irresponsible when they ask me for favors
>>
>>35812519
Go back and switch the dildo, you daft cunt
You have hours, and even if they pull back into the drive when you're switching it, you have an excuse for being in their house
>>
>>35812596
Give her the dicc
>>
>>35812613
This tbqh famalam origanolio
>>
>>35812613
it's fairly far
will she definitely realise?
>>
>>35812613
>>35812635
>falling for this
newfags need to start lurking before posting again
>>
>>35812519
Trust me they have cameras in there
>>
>>35812780
what?!
If she confronts me what do I do?
>>
>>35812519
You did remember to feed the cats, right?
>>
Lol that was the dildo she uses on big black guys assholes
>>
>>35812893
>You did remember to feed the cats, right?

mfw OP forgot and the cat is dead
>>
>>35812519
>they get back in a few hours
GO BACK IN THEIR HOUSE AND PUT IT IN THE CORRECT DRAWER HOLY SHIT YOU AUTIST
>>
>>35813024
I don't really remember the drawer
>>
>>35812827
I have no clue but my neighbor asked me to house sit their animals while they were gone and I brought my friend over there to chill and we stole ice cream and after she got back she came up to me and said "I changed the password on the garage so you can't get in just in case you decide to bring friends"
>>
>>35813097
do people really have cameras like that in their houses?
>>
>>35813122
Usually people in suburbs or older people or people with a little spending money. I mean they're only a hundred dollars and would you trust someone in your house while you're out of town?
>>
>>35813156
shitshitshitshi
>>
>>35812519
>>35812596
go put it back retard

And they probably have hidden cameras like most people so your fucked either way
>>
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>>35813097
>>35813156

Haha OP confirmed for fucked
>>
>>35813190
Yeah but this either sounds fake or their stupid for not leaving their doors locked while they're gone. But yeah a lot of Norman's keep cameras especially when they have people housesit because they're afraid of people stealing jewelry.
>>
Can't they just think they have misplaced that thing themselves?
>>
>>35812519
Kys nerd virgin wtf is this shit website maaan? Fuckin white people..
>>
>>35812689
>Fairly far
>OP says it was a neighbor
Busted.
>>
>>35812519
You didn't commit a crime.
>>
you should be more scared of the hidden cameras they have in the house that filmed you licking a dildo
>>
>>35813360
she's a family friend though
we see each other fairly regularly
>>
>>35813393
No, she isnt. Yoour making this up
>>
>>35813360
Technically he did. His job was to feed cats. He entered the house to steal a dildo and when you enter a residence with the intent to commit a crime (e. Steal a dildo) then you have committed that crime.

Breaking and entering is a class c felony punishable by up to 10 years in prison and $15,000 fine

T. Law student/burglar
>>
>>35813388
is it bad? should I avoid her from now on?
>>
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Ha i actually tricked some of you guys. Stop falling for these threads
>>
>>35813472
it's a small village, everyone is family frineds
>>
>>35813499
nice meme, was the dildo black? also do you have mouth herpes now
>>
>>35812519
I always take pictures of everything I've moved so I can put it back in it original spot mostly. My real worry is randomly placed house cams.
>>
>>35813534
both

owiuegyjfk
>>
>>35813534
i took a picture hang to fap to hang on
>>
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>>35813472
for those saying it's not real
>>
>>35813484
He didn't intend to do that, he merely stumbled upon it and acted out of lust.

t. somebody who read the post
>>
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>>35813484
How do you prove intent in this case? How did he steal the dildo if he put it back?
>>
>>35813863
That image is way to large to see
>>
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>>35813899
orininingo
>>
>>35813929
i took a camera burst so it wouldn't show up in moments , i'm smart
>>
>>35813929
now its to small
>>
>>35813983
are you joking with me?
>>
>>35813484
He didn't enter to steal anything and never took anything out of the house or broke anything. Just moved an object out of one draw then put it back in another without ever leaving the house, which he had permission to be in.
Maybe if you spent less time burglarising and more time studying then you wouldn't need to be a criminal
>>
>>35814013
No. I am joking with you.
>>
>>35814048
please this is serious she is home now
>>
>>35813510
>it's a small village
>>35812689
>it's fairly far
Well which is it?
>>
>>35813510
>it's a small village,

where do you live 16th century europe?
>>
>>35814069
Home? The 2015 Dreamworks movie?
>>
>>35814098
both

ojariginal
>>
>>35814048
I didnt type that you jackass dont pretend to be me
REEEEEEE
>>
>>35814120
this is serious! What do I do if she says anything about it??
>>
>>35814123
How? You're saying its so far you couldn't get there in the few hours you said you had until they arrived home. And yet at the same time say its a small village where every single person there knows each other and is buddies
>>
>>35814149
Jackass? The MTV reality show?
>>
>>35814163
what do I say to my family?
"I'm just going out for a few hours at 11 o clock"
>>
>>35814188
No the movie jackass
>>
>>35813235
Not legal to have a camera in a bathroom/bedroom or anywhere else people would be changing or have a reasonable expectation of privacy. Even in your own home.
>>
>>35814151
You need to take the initiative, don't wait for her to find out and then start doing what women do. you know they wouldn't confront you about it she'd be all devious and plotting and spread rumours about you. So you just need to take charge to remove all her power. Make a facebook post or something saying everything and posting the picture so everyone knows, then she can't go round telling people. Even if she did have a video from a hidden camera it would be useless since it wouldn't be a secret. It's the only way you'll survive this. But you better be quick, if shes just got home from a holiday you know shes going to be going straight for that draw the first chance she gets
>>
>>35814211
Which one? There's at least three of them.
>>
>>35814273
is this really important??
>>
>>35814208
Yes just say that, unless you're under 18 you're free to do what you like. You're not in prison having to ask their permission or explain yourself to them
>>
>>35814298
ship's sailed i'm afraid they're back.
>>
>>35814322
Well then you're best doing what this guy said >>35814256
>>
>>35814336
>>35814256
this doesn't seem right
will she really spread rumours about me?
>>
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>>35814256
mfw OP does this and there were no cameras
>>
>>35814296
Yes. I want to know if I am the one where they have the Japanese doctor get the toy car out of the guy's ass or the one where they drink horse semen.
>>
>>35814399
I don't know what you're talking aboutt?
>>
>>35814363
Duh, what do you think she'll do when she knows you've been messing with her very private intimate sex toys? Do you think she's going to confront you head on like a man, or start gossiping with her gal pals about weirdo anon and the pervy shit he did when they let you into their house? Hell she'll probably make up stuff and say you did even creepier things than you did to demonise you in the community as punishment
>>
>>35814434
I'm talking about Jackass movies. I'm describing events from the first and third ones respectively.
>>
>>35814481
Then by process of elimination if he didn't know the events of the first or third, he must have meant the second. If you're this dumb we have to spell this shit out for you no wonder you got caught
>>
>>35814478
jesus christ
i guess so long as it's behind my back i'll be able to live with it
>>
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>>35814120
You mean the show that teaches you not to misgender anyone?
>>
>>35814525
Caught? As in the 2015 thriller?
>>
>>35812519
Why the fuck would you do this seriously, do you have any self control whatsoever?
>>
>>35814589
I fantasised about this woman for years
>>
>>35814580
No you fucking retard.

Elimination (2010)
>>
Unless you're proactive, you're going to spend the rest of your life wondering who shes told and what they think of you. But you'll always be too scared to ask them because a tiny part of you is going to wonder if they maybe don't know and if by asking you'll out yourself.
From this day on every sideways glance, every whisper any one in your village does you're going to think is about you. But you'll only every be 99% sure.
Enjoy paranoia
>>
>>35814768
Proactive? The acne medicine?
>>
>>35814812
Are you Bendis?
>>
>>35814876
Bendis? The comicbook writer?
>>
>>35814928
Yeah Bendis the comic writer. You know that guy who writes comics? Called Bendis?
>>
>>35815002
Oh, yeah, Bendis.
>>
>>35815043
Are you talking about Benis?
>>
>>35814322
>i'm afraid they're back.
Have you committed sudoku yet op?
>>
>>35815095
No, Bendis.
Thread posts: 88
Thread images: 9


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