ITT: /r9k/ in Medieval times

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>mother hath found the bottles of piss

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>Murchad did steal the oneitis mine

>the child who did wear the same clothing to church each day

Relieving oneself to traps ist nay sodomy!

slay thineself, cuckoo.

>>35776474
>the melancholy associated with not being invited to partake in the crusade

>whomst'd've can'st knoweth mine feels of nay wench

>>35776474
If thous't hath not measured a length of six foot bodywise,then thou shall't be unabyll to speaketh thine mind in the current conversation

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>Those emotions when thy fair maiden Elizabeth claims her heart belongs to another
>Those emotions when watching said wench burn on thy village green pyre

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>fair maiden grants me a token of her favour
>well wishes for the jousting tournament
>yourself aswell
>spaghetti pour'th from mine armour

Yond humour w're one hast nay fair maiden

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>>35776474
>ceste sombre opprobre quant point de gente dame pour moy

>tfw lord chad comes down his castle to fuck your sister once every week

>>35777146
>Lord Chad exercises his right of ius primae noctis

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>Some of you guys are alright
>Don't go to the tournament tomorrow

>tfw thy beldam mother has to pay the dowry for thy match

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>that sentiment when I was born just in time to retake the holy lands from the saracens
>that sentiment when Chadeth will probably perish in the initial assault while I man the trebuchets, safe and sound
>that sentiment when we will take Jerusalem
>that sentiment when deus vult

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>>35776474
>that wondrous feeling whenst thou hath successfully accused Stacieth of heresy and fornication with Satan

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>>35776474
Where the pagans at?

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> the emotion I felt when a treacherous Hebrew tricked thee out of thy coinage

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>tfw normans

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>>35777601
> tfw heathens will not cease to take and rape your country

Where my /moors/ at?

As-salamu alaykum my niggas

>>35777601
>tips horned helmet

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>>35777654
>tfw you're the last pagan region and eventually christianity will take over but you still fight against it

>>35777648
>tfw when Chad the Conqueror wins again

>>35777665
Moors, Saracens, and Andalusians literally cannot be robots.
Now fuck off

>sire hath discovered the seminal slippers
Might this be the end of me?

>Serfcucks BTFO'd again by neets

Lord Shekelstein really needs those crops by tomorrow morning

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>>35776474
>Whilst thou are assailed by loneliness and melancholy in this mortal realm, thoust know it that thine abstinence and virtue ensures a seat at the table of the heavenly Father, whilst fornicators, hedonists, wenches and heathens are condemned to hellfire for all eternity

Imagine actually living in such times, we ALWAYS hear the meme of "no upward social mobility" but that was probably just the case for men.

Fucking women just need to spread their legs for Sir Chad and he would be obligated to marry her, effectively making her a member of the nobility.

>>35777830
just by thyself

>>35777838
B-but Sir Chad isnt interested in peasant girls.

>>35777838
>Fucking women just need to spread their legs for Sir Chad and he would be obligated to marry her, effectively making her a member of the nobility.
That's an American level comprehension of European medieval history.

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>tfw no good herb in the 14th century

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>Save me, oh save me brave knight!

>>35777892
that clothing is very anachronistic of this time period

disguising thyself as the fairer sex does not make thyself so

>>35777934
Were there any trannies back then?

>>35777941
There were a few reverse trannies infiltrating high offices in the church

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>you will never ravish a courtly maiden after saving her from a gang of brigands

>>35777970
but what about original trannies? i guess it was much more common to dress in feminine clothing.

>>35777987
Mentally ill people were probably burned back then.

>>35777874
No, an American understanding of European nobility would be to think lower nobility never married lowborn people. It wasn't until the 1600s onward that the nobility started getting autistic over blood. Even then if a woman fucked a moderately wealthy nobleman during this period and she did get pregnant he would usually give her a pension on the condition she never told the kid who its father was, at the very least giving her a good job and some starting money so she could start over somewhere far away and not start a scandal.

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>>35776474
>that sensation when wretched Juden bringst pestilence to thine village