Contradictory feels thread

>>35770847
>want to have friends
>introverted as fuck

>>35770847
This is actually the worst fucking feeling, though I don't know if it's strictly suicidal or just leading to it (apathy, sick of life etc. ) but the minute I say I don't think I'd kill myself because I'm scared of non-existence I'm immediately thrown aside.

>>35770847
>Lonely
>Can't talk, shy

>>35770881
How is this contradictory? you're not introverted you just have avoidant personality disorder

>fap
>slightly less lonely

>want a loving gf
>feel unlovable

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>>35770847
>eat because I'm depressed
>depressed because I eat too much

>>35770847
>black, artificial dry strange cool swagger
>sensitiv, lonely angry
Maybe this isnt a contradictuon
Maybe im an abomination

>sit at the window, yearning to break out
>can't stand the thought of walking anywhere in my area, even if it's to the station to leave my town

>>35770847
Same here
>suicidal
>know ill go to hell and continue suffering

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>100% heterosexual
>like traps