general /feels/ thread

>idk what to do with my life after highschool
>dad wont hire me
>onetis
>lonely af
>isolated from everyone
>never been to a house party

>>35770853
why do you want to go to a house party? its filled with normies.

>>35770877
Not anon but it could be to have the experience or to even feel wanted in such a manner.

>>35770877
i don't know man, robot life is not as great as i thought

>middle aged
>still on 4chan
>office job that goes between boring and annoying
>no plans for the weekend except drink and play vidya.
>lonely. few friends left, no gf.
>suicidal thoughts daily.

I don't know how much longer I'll last. Maybe I'll quit my job, go on a huge bender, then jump off a bridge or something.

I feel intense fear.

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>just got diagnosed with autism
>realize its the reason why oneitis is distant
>cant form successful relationships with anyone
>preparing to die alone
>was starting to fall in love for the first time
What do from here, lads?

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I feel so fucking ugly and unlovable

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>>35770679
Fuck I'm so anxious I just need somebody to calm me down

>>35770853
house parties can be fun if its with close friends, ive went to some where i didnt know anyone because my roommates dragged me out and it was awful

>>35770963
sorry anon senpai, do you have any hobbies you could try to brighten up the weekend with?

>>35771007
why desu

>>35771096
thats a sad feel, at least you talk with your oneitis though

>>35771164
i know that feel, only my mom loves me

>>35771219
what are you anxious about desu

>>35771269
I don't even know what I'm anxious about anymore. It's been that way for so long that I forgot what I was anxious about.

I think it has to do with school restarting.

>>35771292
that sounds right for me, during the middle of the summer i start to miss uni and then as soon as it actually gets closer i remember all the stress i had the previous year

>>35771269
i guess but i'm pretty sure she's about to ghost me. she said i made her uncomfortable a few weeks ago and she's been a bit off with me since that occasion. i was too fucking autistic to "read the signs" and kept pushing it. I hate myself. why can't i just interact with someone normally?

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>Haven't left my house for 7 days
>Eating barely 1 meal a day, constant hunger
>500 bucks left to my name, 2 months behind on rent
>Haven't seen a doctor or a dentist in years
>Everybody who sees me is just filled with disdain and anger for whatever reason
>"Why can't you just get a job?"
>Yell at me all the time
>No desire to do anything, even feed myself
>Stopped talking to people because it was just constant harassment
>They're suddenly "worried" that I'm receding away from society

What's the best way to tell people to just fucking leave me alone without them thinking I'm some kind of nutjob

I know you're all 15 year olds with crushes and no real problems but whatever, help me.

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>>35770679
transferred to a much better uni
prolly gonna make more money
still no gf
it was warm today and the qts were out
things keep getting worse but i'm in denial
i feel trapped
i think about death 24/7
im too embarassed to seek help
i have no hope
i wish i could go back and slap myself in the face
either numb or in crushing pain
;_;

>>35771269
>i know that feel, only my mom loves me
I feel like my mom's love for me is all fake and is there only due to her strong motherly instinct

>>35771269

There's supposed to be a really nice area to hike about an hour away. Maybe I'll go there sometime.

Occasionally go to concerts but it sucks being the only person there alone. I feel so out of place being the only person alone in a sea of people.

>>35770679
Might get some hate for this but w/e
>Be obese
>Loose all the weight
>Still be a social retard
>Meet a qt, instan crush 8/10, she feels the same for some fucked up reason
>I was smitten, first time Ibwas hapoy and I fell in love
>Here starts a on and off very abusive relation for 3 years with someone with borderline
>Ended it forgood a year ago
>During relationship I did make social gains and I did get /fit/ as an outlet for her behavioir thou
>Last year alot of girls tried getting close to me
>Push them all away
>2 Months ago meet 9/10 qt
>Start talking/spending time but stayed cold at the start
>after 6 weeks off this I noticed she broke down my wall and I trusted her. Freaked the fuck out.
>Manned through it since it's time to move on
>She stayed over last night, amazing sex, all night cuddling.
>I'm in love

I'm freaking the fuck out guys. She's making me happy and is a really good girl. Hot, smart, trustworthy, sweet, caing, great family values, not a slut. But I can't bear even thinking of losing the feeling she's giving me. I can't go through a tough break-up again. It obliterated me last time and I have to keep myself from pushing her away.

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>>35771520
>not a slut
>amazing sex

>>35771382
Tell them that you KNOW what youbare doing wrong and infact want to change it. Tell them that harrasing you and pointing out all the things you're having a rough time isn't productive. It's making you feel worse about a thing you are already depressed about. Then ask them to help you instead of berating you.
I did the same with my parents. Everytime I say them they'd repeat all the shit I'm doing wrong and have done wrong. It really got to me and after a while I did not want to see them. Talked to them about it. The first time they kind of ignored it ans kept berating. I just kept telling, even begging, to stop berating and shamibg me and instead please help me.
You need help, you dont need to be reminded why you need help and not get it.

>>35771520
Just wondering, how did you meet them?

>>35771382
1 find a new place to move into. Youre gonna get evicted anon kun.
2. tell them to fuck off or socialize with them you never know you might find a qt
If all else fails the noose is the option only optiom

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>>35771219
You'll make it friend, couple nights ago I sat in the dark, tensely wrapped up in a blanket listening to music for 4 hours. Just let the feels come.

>>35771352
Not the prev poster, but it's gonna be ok anon, one day we'll find a cutie as autistic, odd, and fucked up as us.
t. guy who jokingly threatened a cutie with a knife

>>35771597
She had one bf before me and even thou my ex is a neurotic, psycho cunt. She was also a nymph and goddess in bed. She teached me everything and showed and let me experience things you can't even dream about. The retardedly godlike fucking like rabbits was the only lightpoint in the thing we called a relationship.
My current girlperson is athletic and not passive and that's all I need to get a girl going and have a great time.
What mattered the most was the intense buildup to this moment and all the sexual and emotional tension that got released.
We were already really comfortable with eachothers body aswell, we did fool around alot before.

I'm hungry but I'm too ugly and smelly to go out in public and I lack the motivation to do laundry or shave

>>35771694
The crazy one I met at a random party, instantly fucked.
The good qt I met at work, she worked as an intern under me for a week.

>just failed project
>no hope on the next one either
>going to need extra semester at school
>want to die

>>35771805
>>35770679

and i totally agree op. i'd kill to live in a cozy little vibey town

>>35771765
Order food?
Maybe you have some random shit you can bash together into a somewhat odd but tasty meal.

>>35771813
its a recent feel too, but its incredibly strong, everyday i get hit with it

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>>35770679
>don't know what I'm doing with my life
>just got dropped from 2 classes
>don't know what I'm doing in school
>want to talk to school psych
>don't have the guts to make an appointment

At least I'm doing good in my speech class. My professor says I'm a natural public speaker for some reason. still can't talk 1 on 1 with people though

>>35771382
you're a narcissistic faggot who's posting anime pictures, get a grip

>>35771624
This doesn't help.

The only thing to do it escape from prison with all your might.

Get away, cut all contact and let them die alone.

Toxic families are the worse kind of cancer.

>khv
>sudden sharp pain in my penis head

>>35771954
Ofcourse it doesn't. But it's a step he has to take to get to the stage we are.
The realisation this will never end and that you infact indeed have to leave them abd cut contact.
If you read my post again you may notice I never said they changed.
I changed and accepted the truth.

Like you said. Toxic famalies are the worst and will do anything to keep you down.

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>>35771886
>tfw used to great at public speaking
>tfw panic attack in front of the entire class out of nowhere during speech in high school
>tfw traumatized since
>tfw high school was a nightmare after that
>tfw dropped out of college mostly due to fear of ever being in that situation again
>tfw

>>35771825
>Maybe you have some random shit you can bash together into a somewhat odd but tasty meal.

I tried making pasta and I put sugar in it instead of salt. I should not be cooking

>broke my leg
>laid off from work
>no income, also can't do anything
>barely any friends
Bf lives with me but he acts like he hates me. I'm pretty sure it's going to end soon. :(

>>35772197
Do you have onions or any other veggies? Got garlic? Got some canned shit? What sources of carbs do you have? Make a small quick list within 5 mins and I'll make u a deliciois detailed fool proofrecipe before i go to sleep

>>35771727
Sometimes I get so anxious I feel like I'm going to pass out. I can't remember the last time I was calm.

>>35772197
Still got pasta? Got garlic and olive oil?

>>35772228
You should probably just kill yourself :(

I'm being completely serious :(

>>35772344
Can't. I'm more bummed about having to rely on someone instead of being the one relied on.

>>35771520
know that feel. it's hard to trust and love after someone who said they were so close to you ends up being fucking insane.

>>35772381
Yeah before that eveving with all the shit ai had been through I thought I never would find a gf. Out of the blue this 8/10 just lusts after me and gets so involved with my life, making me haple, wanted and needed. Then she aprubtly took it away. Then gave it back, took it away, gave it back and so on. Always working on my fear of not being good enough. That combined with constant berates and remarks from her and sometimes even physically abused me, pretty sure she cucked me a few times but she denied it and I didn't have any hard evidence. She truly made me believe that that was what love was and that I would never have the feeling of love with anyone else. It really crushed me.
And now everythibg is goong normal, smooth, not to fast and it feels good bust just weird. I feel unworthy of it.

>>35772171
>tfw panic attack in front of the entire class out of nowhere

Story? What was your speech?

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>feel exhausted all the time
>feel horribly lonely and can't make friends
>need to workout to become army strong and not ruin my future
>don't want to workout because of social anxiety in gym
>miss my long distance girlfriend who's very awesome and loyal
>I love her and I wanna get more serious with her but I'm so lonely I keep fucking randoms to make me feel attractive and so I don't feel like a total fucking loser
>know that I'm tainting my immortal soul doing immoral things
>I need to workout but I'm just so tired

Why am I on this planet anymore

The people directly above me are fucking. It's been going on for like an hour

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>Tfw extremely beta and weak
>tfw anxious and depressed constantly


REEE being alive is the worst thing ever. Fuck my parents for fucking

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I don't know any more christ. I'm tired and not even finding real enjoyment anymore. Stressed and I'm just forcing myself through every day now, forcing myself through stuff I know I have to do but I hate it.
Tried self improvement by starting going to the gym, eating better, but now I feel like shit getting up early to go to the gym, I feel like shit being rushed to get to bed early after a long day of mentally draining math courses so I can finish my degree that I'm only mildly interested in but don't have the motivation to keep working on. I am always like this. Every year. Why doesn't it just get fucking better I am so god damned angry that I have to be me. I've already missed out on so much shit that other people I knew in high school experienced that for some reason I just couldn't. Why can't I just be someone else, even with the advantages that I do have I feel like it couldn't possibly be worse, but that makes me feel even stupider because I know how good I've got it.
I haven't actually felt angry enough to end it all but it'd be so easy since I have access to guns but I can't fucking do that either. I just go every day and I don't know what I'm waiting for. I'm too weak-willed to change anything about my life but too weak-willed to end it either what the fuck is wrong with me. I'm not feeling sad or anything why am I so fucking mad right now I just can't stop thinking.

Why am I even venting here why can't I fucking vent or show real feelings to anyone I know

>start making a new vidya
>day 2 and i'm already sick of it
i got tired of playing vidya so i started to make my own, but now i'm even sick of that

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>>35772569
Start blasting porn on your computer and throwing a lacrosse ball against your ceiling.
This will make things different.

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>bored one afternoon
>decide to check up on oneitis
>google her tumblr
>she deleted it
>cunt...o well... wait a min... wats this....
>stumble onto old pics of her.
>dawww she looks so young and qt
>fleeting thought crosses my mind
>c-could she be a virgin in this pic...
>is this an apparition...
>my very own virgencita to be worshiped

this has been eating at me all week... is this her in her unsoiled and pure glory?
send me a sign LAWD..

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>be at work earlier today
>sell a bottle of vodka to heavy set guy in his mid to late fifties
>he leaves, walking back to his truck through the parking lot he collapse on the ground, flat on his back
>woman who was coming into the store goes over to go see if he's okay
>he's not, he's unconscious and not breathing
>woman walks back to the store and tells me to call 911
>on the phone with the dispatcher, two guys who were nearby start doing CPR on the unconcious guy
>few more people have gathered by this point to see what is going on
>this guy is blue in the face, not breathing or responding at all
>two ambulances show up about 3 or 4 minutes after I called
>they start working on the guy and asking us what happened
>I answer the questions and go back to the store to resume counting inventory and listening to an altright podcast
>few minutes later glance out the front windows, see paramedics load the guy into one of the ambulances
>ambulance remains parked there for another few minutes before speeding off
>few remaining bystanders disperse
>other ambulance crew leaves shortly after to resume whatever it is they do when they're not busy

Not really a feels post I guess. Just something that happened today and I don't really have anyone to tell besides /r9k/

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>Dad dead
>Mom is diagnosed with cancer
>Will likely die in 6ish months
>Have a younger, severely autistic brother
>Almost certainly will have to forfeit my future and education to raising him

This is it. Tell your mom you love her, because she won't be around forever.

>>35772946
Isn't it scary how quick someone can disappear forever?

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>>35772267
>Sometimes I get so anxious I feel like I'm going to pass out

You sound like you've got it worse than me lad. Usually I can keep a lid on it, but once every couple months I'll lose it...Have you ever gone and sat in a park or nature reserve area alone before? Usually if i go during the daylight i can avoid feeling paranoid and depending on the time and day i can usually avoid most people. Really helps me calm down and detach from reality a bit.

>>35773087
>Have you ever gone and sat in a park or nature reserve area alone before?
Yes, all the time.

>>35773083
It's weird to think that I watched someone probably die this morning. I've had a weird feeling about it all day

>>35773267
I can't even bring myself to do that anymore. I think I'm losing my mind.

>>35773421
I hear that meditation helps

>>35773468
I tried it, I couldn't focus. Probably didn't try enough, but all the times I've attempted it I just kept thinking about how I'll fuck it up.

>>35773495
I know, it's frustrating. And the drugs are even worse than the ailment they're supposed to treat. It sucks, because it seems like all of my social shortcomings are directly linked to my anxiety.

>>35773468
>sitting on a pillow humming when you could just get high
Whats the point?

>have gf for 4 months
>she slowly starts losing all her emotions
>stops caring about me like she used to
>we break up twice
>still love her
>always fuck up and end up texting her stupid shit

>>35773533
Getting high (or at least the kind of high that reduces anxiety) sucks and solves nothing

>>35773523
I don't do any medication, I want to avoid that if possible. Only thing that works is just getting stoned, but that's only temporary. I wish I didn't have all this anxiety, it's killing me. I throw up from this shit most days. My extreme self loathing probably doesn't help much either. It has gotten to the point where I'm convinced everyone just fucking knows how much of a loser I am, and just pity me. Worst part is I know that's probably not true, yet it still dominates every social interaction I have.

>>35772525
>i love my gf
>fucking other girls
Found the normalfag. I hope she dumps you idiot.

I just want to feel normal.

Do you think it's possible to go insane from not impregnating a woman?

Because I think that is happening to me.

>>35773587
>daily vomiting
I've heard of that. Never had it, although I have anxiously vomited before.

>Haven't shown up to work in the past two weeks job is truck loading
>Most likely I'm fired
>Somehow I don't care about the job, but need money
>Already looking elsewhere for work more confidently now that I have experience
>Somehow feel energized to go work out
Something tells me this feeling won't last.

>>35773628
Same buddy, although I doubt I ever will be. I think even the people I thought were normal growing up weren't even normal.

>>35773600
I know, she probably should. I was totally loyal and good for like 6 months then bam, I fuck 3 girls over the course of this last week. Like I never was able to do that before I had a gf then bam, look at me now.

I just get drunk as fuck because I feel so sad and incompetent and end up meeting and fucking randoms.

Does anybody play infinite warfare here? Does it have restricted weapon modes? I just want to play single shot rifles. I've been playing bf1 but no one is ever on the back to basics servers.

>>35773659
It's not fun, but it's almost part of the morning routine most days at this point. Shower, look in the mirror, realize I have to face the day, and then vomit from the thought. It's soul crushing really, I feel so awful before and after. Not just physically, but emotionally it takes a toil

>>35773695
Why the fuck don't you just go see her and fuck her? Finding a good girl now a days is rare, hence why you easily found 3 whores. You're disgusting and I hope she finds out.

>>35773712
Not good for your teeth, either. Make sure you brush and use mouthwash afterwards.

>>35772525
>>35773695
l want to kill you.
You should die.

>>35773712
i'm in the same position. lately i have to fight off an upcoming panic attack in the middle of a lecture and im just getting used to it. it's become something normal to me but i know i need to actually solve the problem and not just sit back and let it take over my life. and i want to change. but another part of me just wants to die and end it all. i see no point in my life. as i grow older my mental health gets worse. somedays i cant even function and all i can do it stay in bed staring at my ceiling playing the same shitty music over and over. i dont know what the fuck to do. i attempted suicide like 3 times this year and i just cant fucking do it despite how badly i want to end this bullshit.

>>35773729
We live about a thousand miles away. I'm in the military and never really get to leave, she's in college and never really has the time to come visit except on some weekend every other month.

I just know if we broke up I'd be totally lost because she's holding my mortal remains together and I don't deserve a person as awesome as her.

>>35773791
"She's far away" boohoo. I was in a LDR for like two years and never even looked at other women sexually. I barely got laid but remaining loyal meant more to me. You're just pathetic, stop making excuses.

>>35773781
I'm really sorry to hear that anon. But don't kill yourself, you have value. Even if it is just helping others here, you do make a difference buddy. I think about suicide daily, but I know I wouldn't do it because I know my mentally challenged brother would be devastated, and I can't do that to him, I mean too much to him.

It's funny, the only person whom I share mutual love with is a non-verbal autistic retard.

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>past month I've felt an odd surge of confidence
>sick of being a lonely virgin loser and want to do something about it
>got a haircut, started working out
>want to begin turning my life around by going out and finding friends and meeting girls
>no idea how to do it or where to start
>newfound confidence is quickly fading by the day

Please, someone help me. I need guidance.

>>35773833
You're probably a well adjusted member of society that actually has friends. When you have nothing to do but drink, shit sucks. Plus women are easier to talk to then guys.

>>35773952
I'm not. Quite the contrary, I don't have friends and I'm a complete shut-in. I go out only a few times a month and it's due to necessities. I spend 90% of my time playing vidya and browsing this website. Again, you're just pathetic and making excuses. Off yourself.

>>35774002
You're right man. Thanks for giving me the inspiration to finally do it.

>>35774029
How're you going to do it?

>>35773946
If it's any help, I was just like you a year ago. I'm not fit, but I certainly am in much better shape. I definitely have made progress and am glad I stuck with it.

>tfw former oneitis keeps liking/sharing my memes on normiebook
>back in my old habit of overthinking every little thing she does

It's probably because it's like 3am and I'm the only other nigga awake at the time but come on Shayla you're making it extremely difficult to let go

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Oneitis heartache is hitting me hard again tonight. I hate myself for falling for a girl who already had a bf.

>>35774029
don't listen to him man. just tell your gf and try to work things out. and just control your dick for fucksake.

>>35774156
Well please tell me more.

Did you meet new people? Make new friends?