Psychological Issues #10

>>35763440
Hi, Nick. I don't want to drain your attentional resources away from other anons asking for assistance so unless you had anything you wanted to ask me, I'll probably sit this one out and let you attend to the needs of the others. I just wanted to say hi and give you a bump.

>>35763595

Hello Meta!

You don't need to take a back seat. It's very slow in the beginning, so have at it!

Besides, I'm not overwhelmed in general. I'm here for you too, and I will not refrain from talking with you for any reason. Our subject of conversation is not a reason to be secondary, even if it's geometry and whatnot. It matters to you, so it matters to me, and I do find it interesting anyway.

Have at it!

How are you tonight?

>>35763775
I guess I'm ok. I feel a little ennervated but I skipped my energy drinks today so that's probably why. I did want to ask you about the comment you made saying you had been happy "once." Was it relationship that made you happy? Are you not happy now?

>>35763894

I've had an intense experience which made me feel more alive and happy than I had ever experienced. I am now facing the reality that it was probably an illusion, at best, and a trap, at worst.

I'm living the worst period of my life, currently. I've lost everything except my job and a place to live. I've spent months in derealisation due to the massive mental traumas I had to go through.

It's a complex situation with at least 3 major problematics, one of which being the discovery of what my past was and what my parents are.

The war with my parents has officially begun today, by the way.

>>35764035
A trap? Set by a person manipulating you, perhaps? A sadistic personality? Just guessing based on other things you've said.
A war with your parents? I hope you're well-armed. A legal battle or just regular squabbling?

>>35764194
>A trap? Set by a person manipulating you, perhaps?

I have two models. Basically BPD or NPD; in one, it's not by design, in the other, it is. I may have been the target of a covert narcissist. I may never know, but things certainly fit.

I am well-armed against my parents, mostly because they can't hide what they are anymore.

It's not legal for now. My mother contacted me, and it didn't last long, because I don't take any nonsense anymore. She saw that and basically fled. I was sort of disapppointed that this was all she could muster. I wasn't even mean or aggressive, I just made things very clear and asked questions that I maintained when she tried to blame-shift and gaslight me.

She came back later to send one more message and then was gone again. She may be attempting to punish me by withholding her presence and communication. Little does she know how ineffective this is on me.

>>35764288
Do the intentions of this person really make a difference? You've severed ties with them, I would hope. Beyond satisfying you intellectual curiosity, the results seem the same regardless of what transpiring in their mind.

With your parents, is there a dispute over property? I assume this pattern of behavior from your mother pervaded your childhood. When did you realize that isn't how mothers should act, that there was something abnormal about your family?

>>35764430
Is there any reason why you must have regular interactions with them?

>>35764430


>Beyond satisfying you intellectual curiosity, the results seem the same regardless of what transpiring in their mind.

The results are the same, that is true, but I still want to know whether some mental vampire is feeding off my situation or what.

>With your parents, is there a dispute over property?

No, though they are much wealthier than they led me to believe. They can shove their property deep up their butts for all I care.

>I assume this pattern of behavior from your mother pervaded your childhood. When did you realize that isn't how mothers should act, that there was something abnormal about your family?

I always knew my father was odd, but at first I didn't realise just how odd exactly, and later on I wrongly assumed he had Asperger's, so I saw him as a misunderstood autist. I was wrong.

I realised by talking with workmates who are mothers that my own mother did thing no mother even thinks of doing. That wasn't the catalyst, but an example is those things you make in school, for mothers' day and Christmas, you know, craft stuff that takes you weeks to create. My mother would throw them away, and tell me about it, explaining that we didn't have enough room. We lived in a huge villa with land around it. Apparently, my crafty presents took too much space. I asked a coworker if she'd ever think of throwing such items away. "Of course not! Never," was the answer. That's by far not the worst example of wrong things done to me and my brothers, but it's one that really stirred me originally. I realised I could never actually do something like this myself. I'm not able to throw away possessions belonging to my ex fiancee, so throwing away something my own child made himself, for me? Who the fuck does that...

>>35764430

>Do the intentions of this person really make a difference?

Yes, it means the world to me. If she meant it as an attack, I won't have to care anymore.

> You've severed ties with them, I would hope.

Yes. But we're still in distant contact due to circumstances.

(Had to cut that part from my post, was getting too long; this part was written first originally.)

>>35764473
>Is there any reason why you must have regular interactions with them?

No. But they didn't know I had understood and didn't want to see them anymore. They still don't. She thinks they're still on top and that I'm feeling bad for how the conversation went, maybe. I expect them to counter attack very soon. Most likely with my father attempting to call on the phone. I will not respond. The only communcation I'll take is written, so I have a trace and can hold them accountable for it. It also removes the rest of their bullshit.

>>35764607
How could they still be feeding off your situation? It seems your giving the schema you've developed of this person more power over your mental life than it or the real person deserves. Even if they're rubbing their hands behind the scenes, as long as they aren't still in a position of power, the right decision can only be to let it go (I'm one to talk about letting things go...)

What do you suspect your mother and father of being? Did they divulge anything about their own upbringings or was your relationship too cold for that kind of sharing? Was her disposal of your creations positively malicious or just callous?

>>35764792
>How could they still be feeding off your situation? It seems your giving the schema you've developed of this person more power over your mental life than it or the real person deserves.

They see me regularly. My behaviour changed because of them, and nobody knows why except them. This could be enough to feed a narc's ego. Knowing I've had to adapt to their bullshit.

Thing is, even if I let go (which I have almost finished doing), if they think I'm still suffering because of them, it's good enough for them. I don't really care at this point.

>What do you suspect your mother and father of being?

Definitely dark triad, and possibly dark tetrad (I don't expect you to know these terms, by the way, I'll explain them later if I can). They're a sick ass mix of narcissism, psychopathy, and machievellianism, potentially with some sadism added.

They're very abusive, mostly mentally, but my father is a violent man whose outbursts were always brutal. Think slapping a 5-year-old so hard in the face that he falls to the floor, that sort of brutal.

>Did they divulge anything about their own upbringings or was your relationship too cold for that kind of sharing?

Some sob story from my father about his own father, whom he always hated, even though the obvious mentally ill person in his parents was his mother, whom he professes to love and respect as a son should his mother, but really obviously hates her more than anything, without being able to admit it to himself.

My parents are pathological liars, nothing they say can be trusted. Versions change, I don't even know what my true origin is. I was adopted by my current father, and their version of my early life is now under serious skepticism.

Cont.

>>35764621
>If she meant it as an attack, I wouldn't have to care anymore.
That's weird to me. Why?

>>35764792


>Was her disposal of your creations positively malicious or just callous?

Considering she made a point of telling me she threw them away, with a phony reason for doing so, I think it was malicious. Only a few months ago she presented my brother and I with a calendar we had drawn for her, back in 1992 or so, and asked us if she could throw it away.

I thought not much of it at the time, but once the veil tore away, once I understood I hadn't seen the obvious for decades, I thought about that again and thought: either you decide on your own to throw this calendar away and you DON'T tell your own children about it, or you fucking keep it. It's about 5 millimeters thick and takes the space of 12 sheets of paper, why even ask? Just fucking store that shit with other memories of your own kids and be happy you have kids. But no: she presented the item to us, specifically asking if she could throw it away. What mother does this?

It's actively malicious. But it must always be done under the guise of being callous, at worst, and nothing special otherwise. It's a cover.

Can I post my phobias?
Or is this thread about lighter issues?

>>35764911
>That's weird to me. Why?

Because otherwise it means they are only trying to protect themselves, and then I feel obligated to help. This is how I was drawn to this person: I badly wanted to help them. I cared for this person so much. If I could be sure she was just a major asshole who wanted to hurt me, I could drop all care and accept that I had just been fooled.

>>35764948

You can post about anything you like, friend.

Post away.

>>35764976
Okay, I think I have agoraphobia, like in fear of open spaces. When the space is relatively open I feel like I'm to be consumed by heaven or something like this. It really bothers me, since there is so much of open spaces where I live.

Is there a way to do something with it?

I have some other phobias but they don't bother me as much.

>>35765063

I confess I don't know specifically how to overcome this phobia in particuliar, but let's talk about it. For what it's worth, I'm deeply interested in hearing you speak of it, even if I can't say much in return.

Did you always have it?

What are your other phobias?

>also, trying new trip, more secure one

>>35764955
Does your powerful empathy diminish if you can attribute evil to a person? I've heard that highly empathic people have a greater tendency to desire retributive justice, including infliction of barbarous punishments (don't have a study to back that up, but going to try to find one). Do you still empathize in the same way with people you know to have the dark tetrad traits or does your identification with their suffering become something more tolerable if you can reasonably assume they would be happy manipulating and torturing others?

>>35765144
>Does your powerful empathy diminish if you can attribute evil to a person?

In general, no, but I can then remove my empathy from this person, in a way, in the sense that I no longer feel obligated to save them, if I know they were only pretending.

>I've heard that highly empathic people have a greater tendency to desire retributive justice, including infliction of barbarous punishments

Yes, I would agree with that. Empathy of that sort means you get a serious sense of justice. For a while, I was seriously considering driving to their home and beating the shit out of both with a baseball bat, for justice and to protect my baby nephews. I'm not sure how serious the thought was, but a little more than just fantasy. I'm out of this line of thinking now.

>>35765144
>Do you still empathize in the same way with people you know to have the dark tetrad traits or does your identification with their suffering become something more tolerable if you can reasonably assume they would be happy manipulating and torturing others?

I'm not sure I understand the question.

People with traits like those of my parents don't think the way I do, they have no empathy of their own, which makes me think twice before feeling sorry for them. I definitely remove my compassion from such people, in order to sever ties and protect as many people around them as possible.

Do I sometimes think about them as children and how they were abused themselves and how becoming a narc was the weak thing they could do to protect themselves? Yes, I do. It makes me sad, but I then remind myself that I must protect myself from them anyway, whether it's sad or not. They should have had the strength to resist the dark side.

I now practice the art of not caring about their hurt feelings, or so-called hurt feelings, since it's probably just lies again, and focusing on my own self, for a change. They didn't like the change, which is good.

>>35765098
I don't really know what to say. I've read that it's actually about being insecure and feeling helpless, and yes, my other phobias are somewhat connected to it - like I fear flying because you are kind of helpless on board of a plane, or elevators - for the same reason.
But mental hymnastics like "I'm confident and I control the situation" does not help at all.
It's also connected to phisical health in a way. Like if I drank a day before, it will get worse.
>Did you always have it?
I think since my late teen years, and it's getting worse. Now I can't really walk a street without some kind of panic attack (I'm not sure if this term applies though). I'm 25 now.
>What are your other phobias?
Well... Al extremities. Height, total darkness, extremely small objects, you know. Sometimes I panic when I think about who I am and all such things.

>>35765270

OK, so we can say that you dislike loss of control, basically.

That's good enough for a start.

Are you scared of people?

>>35765205
Very intriguing.
>>35764886
As strange as my own childhood was, I'm grateful that though all the screaming and violence and sanity straining, the was genuine love and closeness in it.
I'm sorry you went through that, Nick. Gathering my thoughts for further posts...

>>35765270

Let's introduce a tradition: I get to baptise you anons after you introduce me to your problems.

I herebuy dubb you Open Space Boy.

File: 13c2304a107d8f0f196654a6008676dd.jpg (76KB, 736x728px) Image search: [Google]

76KB, 736x728px

>>35765374
>the was genuine love and closeness in it.

>mfw my own mother failed worse than a schizophrenic person

>>35765312
I guess. Social anxiety and all.
>>35765381
Ugh, I don't like the "boy" part. Please kindly chose a cooler name for me!

>>35765462

Open Space Man!

Evening, Nick. You might be interested in this. I've been talking to someone lately who's had similar issues as me, and employs the same kinds of tools and tactics - manipulation, logging key phrases and pressure points, emotional appeals - and it's been fun for the most part. It's been collusive certainly, and there have been attacks going both ways.

The problem is, through therapy and through our talks I started to wonder whether their might be a better way to behave. After all, here was a damaged person who was primed and willing to be preyed upon. However, I wondered if I could help instead.

I tried to speak to her about her negative experiences, give her some insight into the mental effects she was experiencing, patterns of behaviour, pointing out the transparencies of her attempts at manipulation, and told her that I wouldn't be roped into compounding her issues and reinforcing her trauma; I wanted to help her try and examine it and move on.

This was met with fierce resistance and a battle of sorts ensued, her attempting to manipulate me through emotions and I trying to control her by pulling back. She said that this was just sadism making her think about tough memories, when in fact I took no pleasure in it. I genuinely wanted to help.

Anyway, she spoke to the 'monster' in me directly, while I was trying to be kind and balanced. She said she didn't want to be helped - she wanted to be hurt. To be torn into. To be broken. As you can imagine, I found this very difficult. It would have been simpler, and more enjoyable to collude. Not to mention, I'm not a therapist though I've been around them a stretch.

What do you make of all this?

File: af8ae4968b1aa54b34981eac3f3fbb58_d1e750feada922ed4004a39a66162f-im-excited-memes_470-341.jpg (33KB, 470x341px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 470x341px

>>35765485

>mfw Facet is here

>>35765472
Nice, but maybe something even cooler and edgier?
And please tell me you know how I can overcome this shit. I don't want an IRL shrink, I still want my driver license and my firearms. And they all are useless they say.

Is this some sort of nu-age circlejerk?

>>35765405
Didn't mean to upset you. Schizophrenics are far less scary sadistic psychopaths. More jarring, more bizarre, sure. But at least my mother was a real human being throughout it all. Even just a more run of the mill "cold" family sounds worse to me than my own, even given all the dysfunction. I remember finding the level of frigidity other people had between them and their parents/siblings revolting. I don't even want to imagine how much worse off I'd be without the glimmer of positive memories.

>>35765584
What about the conversations ITT prompts you to ask that question?

>>35765485
>and it's been fun for the most part. It's been collusive certainly, and there have been attacks going both ways.

You have the strangest hobbies, friend.

>However, I wondered if I could help instead.

Nice! Am I rubbing off on you?

>She said that this was just sadism making her think about tough memories, when in fact I took no pleasure in it. I genuinely wanted to help.

Sounds like she has BPD. Trying to help and being treated like a monster is something I've experienced with the BPD's I've known. A nasty experience when you really care about someone.

>She said she didn't want to be helped - she wanted to be hurt. To be torn into. To be broken. As you can imagine, I found this very difficult. It would have been simpler, and more enjoyable to collude.

Hence the fierce resistance. My brain knows the answer to this but it's not coming up just yet.

Some people enjoy being punished, possibly because thinking of getting treated like shit as a deserved punishment helped them save the illusion that their parents weren't simple sadists, but merely gave them the punishment they deserved; the difference between fair parents and monsters. Perhaps, associating pain and mistreatment with the relief felt when your parents "aren't monsters after all" is what explains why some people want to be treated like crap.

>some of them want to abuse you
>some of them want to be used by you

What do you think?

>>35765583
>Nice, but maybe something even cooler and edgier?

Lord of the Open Spaces?

>And please tell me you know how I can overcome this shit.

Looking into it. Heh, feels like psychology is like repairing a car, "Just lemme get this here tool and we'll see what I can do!"

Meanwhile, what's your reasoning for not wanting an IRL therapist?

>>35765584

Nope. It's good old therapy, where you talk about your problems to some shaman or wise old man who knows some shit about life. That's me. Give it a try, you won't regret it.

>>35765586
>Didn't mean to upset you.

Oh, don't worry. I wasn't upset. I was making fun of it, in a sad way.

> Even just a more run of the mill "cold" family sounds worse to me than my own, even given all the dysfunction

I think you're right. I know people whose mothers used to beat them up and worse in their youth, but that mother has changed since then and seems very remorseful. Something more human about it. Emotionally, my mother feels nothing that isn't for herself, like a toddler would.

>>35765670
>Lord of the Open Spaces?
Great, now we only have to learn what is "lord" in Japanese and we're done with my baptism.
Or "open spaces". Yes, it would be even cooler.
>Just lemme get this here tool
Isn't it all about drugs though?
I tried some, they didn't help.
>Meanwhile, what's your reasoning for not wanting an IRL therapist?
Um, I've just listed them a post ago. Plus it's expensive and bothersome. And it's like accepting that I'm sick.

>>35765638
You're on point with all of this. As I said, our conversations - meaning the ones in these threads - did influence my decision not to act as I always did. Not just you though - Metapsych as well. He asked me what I would change in my mind, and I said if I was able, I would behave like a hero. Only, I don't seem to be capable. Anyway, this seemed like an opportunity.

Yes, I'm sure she's BPD. I'm sure that was her motivation as well. When you want to hurt someone and they want you to as well, just seeing how far you can take it, but then you become aware that you might be impeding their development... I don't know. Attempting to have a conscience, even as an intellectual exercise, is hard and unrewarding. It's like sitting in your favourite restaurant and having a glass of water.

>>35765797
>Isn't it all about drugs though?

Nope. I believe most of it isn't about drugs.

>And it's like accepting that I'm sick.

I wouldn't say sick, because the nature of many disorders has to do with having adapted to a hostile environment, and having kept that weaponry you developed, but now it works against you.

It's like you evolved this massive horn to fight off monsters when you were a kid, but now you're an adult living with nice people, and you keep impaling them with that massive horn you no longer need. Therapy is about cutting off the horn so you can live more normally.

Open Spaces, works for me.

Describe your parents.

>>35765797
Aita menseki no omo

>>35765831
>Metapsych as well. He asked me what I would change in my mind, and I said if I was able, I would behave like a hero. Only, I don't seem to be capable. Anyway, this seemed like an opportunity.

I remember that, I read that conversation. I do think you could do a lot of good, actually. You certainly show potential for it.

>It's like sitting in your favourite restaurant and having a glass of water.

Yes. But at least you know it's the right restaurant, just the wrong meal.

>>35765906
>I wouldn't say sick, because the nature of many disorders has to do with having adapted to a hostile environment, and having kept that weaponry you developed, but now it works against you.
I don't see it in my past but you may know better - unironically.
>Describe your parents.
My dad is somewhat weak but really loving and caring. My mom is normie I guess, maybe kind of bossy.
I live apart from them now. I kind of love them, but yet I still hate them with teenager hatred (it's the best I can formulate it lol).

>>35765986
Thanks, but I need at least one English word in it to sound cool. What is "lord" there?

>>35766110
>My dad is somewhat weak but really loving and caring. My mom is normie I guess, maybe kind of bossy.

Sounds like it could be a narc mom with a codependent father.

>I kind of love them, but yet I still hate them with teenager hatred (it's the best I can formulate it lol).

Potentially, it's not teenage hatred at all, but you have very serious reasons to hate them.

Dig deeper. How is your mom bossy? Give examples.

>>35766130
Omo = lord

>>35766085
I suppose my question would be: what's the payoff? In all likelihood she'll resist any genuine attempts to help and cease communication. At that point I've lost the opportunity to act on my impulses and she'll just find someone else - someone else who is now having my fun.

>>35766226
>I suppose my question would be: what's the payoff?

Potentially, she gets better so do you.

There are some "funs" that you shouldn't have at all, and that you wouldn't have if you were OK.

>>35766146
Right, now you're telling me to hate my parents lol.
>How is your mom bossy? Give examples.
Well if she has an idea she really goes for it, and my dad trusts her opinion on pretty much everything. She's wise enough not to meddle with his business, but she sent me to some shitty school in another city for example. I've managed to stay there for half a year.
She's not evil though, she was trying to get me to socialize more. Yet she was not very smart about it, and she failed. Now she's caring much less about me, speaking about "my choices" and all. It's really sad actually. I feel guitly about this Nick.

>>35766196

Too good to be true.

>no omo

I really thought you were making meme humor from "no homo".

>>35766196
Great, I'm Aita Menseki Lord now. Or AML.

Well, it's an early night for me I think. I have work tomorrow. You'd probably be horrified if you knew what I did. Still, that's a story for another day. Always leave them wanting more. Night all.

>>35766306
>She's not evil though, she was trying to get me to socialize more. Yet she was not very smart about it, and she failed.

Prepare for the idea that she is smarter than she seems, and actually wanted you to fail. I often took my parents' cruelty for incompetence. But they intended things to go wrong.

>I feel guitly about this Nick.

Which is exactly what a narcissist mother would want. Covert narcissism is the worst. All the signs are here, I must say.

Trust your feelings. What's your true opinion of your mother? Not in her words, not in what she told you: in your own words based on what you feel for her. Tell me.

>>35766392
>You'd probably be horrified if you knew what I did

I'm sure it involves helping people. Or teaching.

Night, Facet.

>>35766394
>Prepare for the idea that she is smarter than she seems, and actually wanted you to fail. I often took my parents' cruelty for incompetence. But they intended things to go wrong.
But why? She seemed really happy when I did better than my classmates for example. Even now she seems to be rooting for me sometimes.
>What's your true opinion of your mother? Not in her words, not in what she told you: in your own words based on what you feel for her. Tell me.
I don't know. It's kind of love-hate. I appreciate her praises more than my father's because they are earned harder. But she is often histerical and unjust and most of the time I don't want to do anything with her. It's complicated.
>Which is exactly what a narcissist mother would want.
Okay, and what would it mean for me?

Are those threads regular here?

>>35766618
>But why? She seemed really happy when I did better than my classmates for example. Even now she seems to be rooting for me sometimes.

>sometimes

A normal mother roots for you all the time. Don't be fooled by their seeming to be happy for you; the feeling may be real, but you may not know exactly why she's happy. She may be thinking about something further along the line, when you eventually fail and she gets to enjoy that.

I have a very bad vibe about your mother because you're unable to say something 100% nice about her, as is the case with most people who don't realise what their parents really are. You'll say something positive, but there's always a nugget of shit that comes with it.

>She supports me
>sometimes

>It's kind of love-hate. I appreciate her praises more than my father's because they are earned harder. But she is often histerical and unjust and most of the time I don't want to do anything with her. It's complicated.

It couldn't be narcier than this. Your intuition and feelings let you know some shit is up, but rationally, you buy in her lies and manipulations. I think that's what's going on.

Read about narcissistic parents, and report back.

Yes, I make that thread almost every night.

Nick, I think I'm going to have to take off, too. It's been fun as always.

>>35766803

Take care and talk to you soon!

We need more Pepe in this thread.

I'd like sad and happy Pepes.

Bonus points for Pepes with Borderline.

>>35766748
Alright. I will get back to you when I will have read about narcissistic parents (with my fancy Japanese name lol).
Meanwhile, I want you to tell what it has to do with my phobia and how do I deal with it.
Thank you for your interest in my life anyway and good night.

Hey Nick,how are you?

In these last days,i'm feeling very very upset,when someone talk to me and is not one of my friends or is not of my interest.i feel very angry,broken things or punching the walls,etc.And this go for everybody,father,mother,grandma,evryone.Even this sometimes is growing to aggresion.

So,what's happening with me?

>>35766935
>Meanwhile, I want you to tell what it has to do with my phobia and how do I deal with it.

The root causes of mental issues may not always be obvious, but anything going wrong when you grew up will have identifiable consequences on you as an adult. What you describe could have to do with your past and parents. Figuring it out will help solve the problem.

>>35766971
>So,what's happening with me?

Hello Klebold.

Does this sound familiar to you?

A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

(1) frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.

(2) a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation

(3) identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self image or sense of self

(4) impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.

(5) recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior

(6) affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)

(7) chronic feelings of emptiness

(8) inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)

(9) transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms

>>35767116
>(1) frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.

No,i actually like of be alone.

>(2) a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation

Yes

>(3) identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self image or sense of self

Yes

>(4) impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.

No

>(5) recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior

No,i have suicidal thoughts,but i never one behavior like that

>(6) affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)

Yes,this happened this week also.

>(7) chronic feelings of emptiness

Yes

>(8) inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)

Yes.

>(9) transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms

No.

So,i'm a borderline?

I've found it increasingly difficult to relate to people or care about anyone else since my father, probably one of the most influential people in my life passed away a few years back.
I recently 'snapped' at a co-worker because i didn't understand why they kept trying to speak to me outside of work, all my life I've been fairly reclusive and alone friend-wise, always staying home and never visiting other kids.Getting a job was one of the biggest things I've ever done.

I don't quite know why i'm posting this to be frank, i suppose it's good to write it down and hope somebody sees it, i can continue living like this for as long as live, but i fear it will prohibit my future paths in one way or another.

>>35767388
>No,i actually like of be alone.

You can like being alone and still fear abandonment from a lover, typically.

>So,i'm a borderline?

American psychiatrists voted to agree that you require 5 symptoms or more to fit BPD. You got 5.

I know some people who only have one trait, but it's enough to count for something.

Yes, your problematic has to do with borderline.

Chances are high that one or two of your parents were either narcissists or borderline themselves. It's virtually impossible that they were sane, your parents or whoever took care of you as a child.

Tell me about your childhood. I'm sure there was abuse.

>>35767436

Something is definitely up. I feel like there's more that you're not saying.

What's your relation to your mother?

>>35767543
I don't speak to my mother anymore, i cut contact when i was 15~ after she started getting really abusive(more so then what she already was) and kicked me out of home.

I'm not trying to hide any information and if it seems like that then i apologise, feel free to ask any questions no matter how hard they might 'hit home'

>>35767645
>I'm not trying to hide any information and if it seems like that then i apologise,

Oh no, don't worry, I didn't mean it that way.

Safe to say your mother is not a good person.

Have you read about narcissistic parents? She sounds like she'd fit the bill just fine.

Which makes it likely your father was one of those people who are very sensitive and tend to be abused by narcs if they haven't learned to defend themselves. Does that sound like it happened with your parents?

What you describe of your life very much fits the experiences of adults who have been raised by narcissists (I relate to that 100%).

>>35767708
I have heard of narcissistic parents, and in all honesty my mum fits the bill perfectly, but my dad is the exact opposite. My dad was abused by her but eventually gave up on her and stopped taking it from her for sure.

I don't have much information on it, but i know my mum was raped and abused as a kid from her real dad (who ended up going to jail) so i'm not sure if that ties into anything.

>>35767501
I'm son of divorced parents(alone mother's son),and i still remember their fights,and no,there was no abuse,at leat not in my childhood.

11-14 years old was the most horrible and painful years of my life,my mother has problems with anger too,maybe she's a borderline too(if you want to give a diagnostic to her,tell you questions).

My father was my best friend in that time,he was a present father,i really like love him,as my mother.

>>35767758
>i really like love him

Sorry about that hahaha

Sorry about forgetting of post the name too hahahaha

>>35767745
>I don't have much information on it, but i know my mum was raped and abused as a kid from her real dad (who ended up going to jail) so i'm not sure if that ties into anything.

If you know it from her, take it with a grain of salt. I've been fed some outrageous lies by my parents. As a narcissist, she definitely has seen abuse as a young child. Do you also know that her father went to prison through her? Does anyone else confirm this version of events?

Having been raised by such a person has a direct influence on you, even as an adult.

Can you list the things that bother you as an adult person? Things you face daily, it can be mundane or extraordinary.

>>35767758
>i still remember their fights,and no,there was no abuse,at leat not in my childhood.

You don't know the wider definition of abuse. Being exposed to your parents fighting is already abuse.

>
11-14 years old was the most horrible and painful years of my life,my mother has problems with anger too,maybe she's a borderline too(if you want to give a diagnostic to her,tell you questions).

Sounds like it, yes.

Possibly your father was mistreated by your BPD mother.

http://www.blueknot.org.au/Resources/General-Information/Types-of-child-abuse

Resources. Find out what abuse looks like.

>>35767869
>Possibly your father was mistreated by your BPD mother.

Maybe yes,he calls my mom crazy everytime we hangout together.

>>35767920
>Maybe yes,he calls my mom crazy everytime we hangout together.

He's more right than he knows.

So you and your mother share some BPD traits, right?

Can you see a therapist for that?

>>35767812
I heard it from my grandma and my grandpa(her adopted father) and i believe wholeheartedly that my Nan wouldn't lie to me ( i was gifted by the gods of being her favourite grandchild after all)

>Can you list the things that bother you as an adult person? Things you face daily, it can be mundane or extraordinary

I have a few regular places i go to eat, drink and buy groceries. I don't like when the cashiers try to spark a conversation with me or when they remember i was there last week, the reason i like going there is because i can sit in the corner and be left alone.

I also have a fairly strong sense of disdain towards most women i see or end up having to speak to, and this has landed me in trouble a few times.

The rest is just really small stuff, people not pushing their chairs in. Leaving dishes at the table at the village(it's polite to bring it up to them, makes their job easier)

>>35768003

What is the state of your past relationships? Anything unusual in that department?

>>35767967
Next saturday i gonna see a psychologist,maybe after that i consult a therapist,i gonna try to convince her to go too,what you think?

>>35768165
I don't quite understand what you mean by 'past relationships', I've only ever really mingled with my family. Never spoken or pursued anything outside of that.

>>35768177

Excellent idea. Show her the list of symptoms, it'll likely help.

>>35768196

Do you not feel the need for a partner?

File: 20170324_063538.png (1MB, 1440x1428px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1440x1428px

>>35763440
I've always had trouble maintaining interest in girls who like me back. I think I'm more of a "Thrill of the chase" kind of guy but I don't want to be.

And now I've met a cute girl and she seems interested but im worried my brain is gonna kill it

>>35768236
I'm 25 and I've never really felt the need for a partner, no. My dad brought this up numerous times when he was alive asking why i wasn't bringing anyone home or why i didn't talk to girls. I can't explain it, i just don't feel like i need a partner, i'm fine on my own you know?

(i also have trouble trusting a lot of women, even those who i had known for years so i doubt a relationship would last very long.)

>>35768236
Thanks Nick,was really good talk to you,God bless you(if you believe in God,of course hahaha)but if not,there's no problem,a kiss and a hug for you,good night!

>>35768256

Look up attachment theory. If your parents were hard to love and be loved by, you may tend to be attracted by girls who aren't attracted to you, or who treat you like dirt, and lose interest in girls who actually love you.

Look it up.

>>35768305

Look up schizoid and schizotypal personality disorder and report back. It probably will go nowhere as I don't know know those very well, but worth a shot.

>>35768327

Thank you, Harris. I wish you a good night as well.

>>35768367
I suppose schizoid would fit the bill more, but i felt a strong connection to my father and i cared for him deeply, the isolation only really started having a massive effect after he died, i don't know if it works like that.

>>35768446

It could.

Any other odd symptoms?

Guys, I'm going to bed soon.

Remember, you can always write: [email protected]

>>35768467
I find it hard to go into a place with a middle amount of people, if their are a lot of people i find it easy to blend in and ignore everyone, but if there are only a small-medium amount i feel as if everyone is watching me and i get really nervous. This is why i only go to really big supermarkets and the village because it's always full of people i believe.

File: goodbye-i-will-always-love-you.png (495KB, 600x700px) Image search: [Google]

495KB, 600x700px

>>35768518

OK.

Read about the effects of narcissistic abuse on children whe they become adults; see if you find things that relate to you there.

There's a whole lot to learn, and it will help you eventually.

We'll speak again soon. I must sleep now.

It's 2:24 am here.

Good night everyone!

See you soon.

Good night nick, sleep well.

>>35768660

Thank you, you too.

orginrignrignr