d-does anyone want to share their feels with me?

>>35738666
dont have any anymore

thats a cute dog anon

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sure, it would give me a chance to vent

>be me
>life really difficult at the moment
>don't bother getting out of bed most days
>as a result, back hurts
>sit upright at desk in attempt to stop back from hurting

>looking at data entry jobs because fast wpm and i have no idea what else i'm good at

>fembot overseas is emotionally draining and makes me physically sick because i can't realistically be with her
>want to cut contact with her but afraid she'll do something stupid

>dropping weight, used to be 214lbs and now i'm 199lbs after like three months of being in this rut

>had an hour long discussion with parents about me, ask them "if i just went upstairs now and leeched off you for the next ten years, would you kick me out?"
>no anon, we'd just have to deal with it

>go to therapy
>felt scummy as fuck when the therapist asked for money at the end and i handed it to her out of my wallet

i probably have a lot more feels to type out but i can't think of them right now

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>>35738666
>why can't I just be normal
>why can't I engage with others my age
>why can't I come up with things to say when in a group of other people
>why can't I feel comfortable in a group of strangers
>why can't I go back and change my upbringing so that I'm not always cooped up in the house
>why can't I go back and learn vital social skills
>why can't I just be normal

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I've been constantly trying to bury all my negative feels and just bask in the apathy and emptiness that will come once that is complete.

Probably will never happen, though.

I'd be more than willing to hear out your feels, OP.

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>>35738666

I like that dog pic. Anyway here you have some cyborg feels.

>gf breaks up a 2 year relationship
>gives no particular reason other than some selfish explanation on wanting to be alone
>my mind is divided and haven't decided yet how to move
>option 1
>try to understand it and try at least to remain friends with her since she's the only person that knows me
>she wishes that and has told me so
>I'd probably grow and learn things from the experience
>I have no other friends, at least I'd know I can count on her if I need any help of some sort
>option 2
>cut all contact since it will only get me down and depressed on the long run seeing her a day or two per month at best
>not sure what are the pros of this scenario
>been drinking everyday the last few days
>will try to stay sober tonight so I can go for a run in the morning

Oh and I havent gone to class at all this week, and none of the people of my lab group asked if I was ok or something. I always do when any of them skips class and I offer them my notes from the lectures.

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>a lot of similar interests / shared friends
>date for a few months
>Finally try for a kiss, Rejected, try again rejected again
>One night she described to me in detail her blowing and swallowing a guy
>Realise she will do this but im too disgusting for even a kiss, This hurts
>Try a few more times for a kiss and she reluctantly kisses me on the cheek
>Wont actually kiss me after three months
>Finally say something act slightly upset (pic related)
>She freaks the fuck out goes on an angry rant over those three texts
> instantly apologize for getting upset and ask if she wants to go out the next day
>She ignores me instead
>Later literally admits she was ignoring me for basically no reason
>Ignores me for weeks, don't eat for days
>tells me to fuck off when im saying sorry
>Wont talk to me over Skype finally get desperate and go to her house
>She breaks it off with me, I ask her why she got that angry over pic related and why she told a friend she was ignoring me for no reason she cant form a clear answer besides I dont need this
>rubs it in my face that she can just ignore me all she wants
>Give up and leave, our friendship slowly builds back up over next few weeks
>Still completely infatuated with her, ask her out again rejected
>Realise I need to get away
>Tell her I need to talk to her less and to get over her its causing me pain
>She just gets angry at this because she wants free rides from me doesn't give a fuck about how I feel, has the nerve to call me immature after ignoring me on and off for weeks
>Barely talk to her for a few weeks.
>Very quickly gain new perspective on whole situation
>Realise how fucked what she did was, finally listen to all my friends
>Now feel rage every time I interact with her, slowly getting angrier every time
>She probably sees no issue in anything she did, 0 fucking sympathy

>>35739503
Remaining friends with your ex rarely is a good idea. It's normally only doable if you're a very socially and mentally healthy person.

She'll start hooking up with guys or start dating one. You'll hear about it and it'll feel like someone is stabbing you whenever she makes a mention of another man.

They will rarely be there to offer anything for you, but will constantly want your attention for their own problems. It may get harder at first, but just try and cut all contact.

>>35739640
Meanwhile
>chad goes on a few dates with her
>chad wants to fuck her, she says no, too soon
>chad basically says fuck off and ignores her/blocks her on everything
>shes groveling at his feet, desperately trying to contact him
>dude that she talked to for two weeks can completely cut her off because she won't fuck him and she desperately chases after him
>I know her for years, date for 3 months, get slightly upset that she won't kiss me and she treats me like fucking garbage
>im supposed to be ok with this
I wouldn't be so pissed if she didn't treat me like subhuman garbage while treating other dudes that shit on her like gods

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>>35738666
yeah, let's just go ahead

>be me
>live in shitty farming state (DE)
>live in small town
>go to 6-12th grade school
>crush on tall, tan stacy in the same grade as me
>she already has a bf
>talk to her a little bit on the bus
>fucking little 7th grade faggots mess everything up

i'm so fucking lonely

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>>35739406
you dont want to be apathetic.

as a true emotionless robot i can tell you that to even consider it you must cease all contact with all normies you've ever met because they will force you to be medicated and apathy medication side effects made me try to rip my eyes out.

also its worse than being depressed and suicidal honestly. i sit and do nothing all day i dont even have the motivation to play vidya or eat most of the time. i can only really function for an hour a day and i miss being saD

Don't feel like reposting. If you'd like to read, follow me here.

>>35737614

>>35739646

I'm not any of those type of person so yeah, I'll take your advice. Thanks anon

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>>35738666
Nice trips, satan

>Spent years working through college trying to build up my resume
>Dealt with nothing but shit employers, coworkers, supervisors and other trivial bullshit along with going to school full time
>Stress and other events led to a pretty severe breakdown
>Got kicked while I was down plenty of times during a lot of serious life events
>Doing what I can to try and get self-employment started while using my freetime to enjoy other hobbies I couldn't while in college
>Things are looking a lot better
>Finding the motivation again after I lost it for a long, long time

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>>35739732
I already have extremely limited contact with people in general.

All my life has been nothing but negativity. First suicidal urges at age 7, already felt insecure and distant from other kids by age 8. Nothing but let downs, lies, and turmoil.

I refuse to kill myself while my parents are still alive, but im tired of feeling this way.

Finding happiness is like setting sail on an endless sea, for me at least. It will never be there. I don't know how to socialize, date, or even look at myself without feeling rage and disgust. I don't know what happiness feels like so I have no idea what would make me happy.

There's not a person or a thing out there for me
I just want my existence to cease as much as it can without actually dying.

Emotions, hunger, thirst, sexual arousal. I want this all gone.

>>35739661
Sounds like a grade a sociopath, especially considering how everything ended.

It's not worth it, especially since she'll try to blame shit on you to get away with it. Drop all contact with her, any time you get infatuated or some shit, just remember everything she pulled on you, but realize that not everyone is like this.

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>have oneitis bad for a girl I work with
>she has a boyfriend
>she's cute and friendly to me, seems to like me and sometimes I think I'd be able to get at least one date out of her if she was single
>don't see her at all outside of work or have her contact info
>really wish I could get closer to her but honestly don't know how
Just leaving and never seeing her again is probably the wisest thing to do and what I'll most likely end up doing anyway. But I know if I do this I probably won't be able to forget about her and I'll obsess over her for years wondering if I might have had a chance with her.

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>>35738666
>buy pizza a few nights ago
>ask myself why I spent 26 on pizza without thinking....when I won't even consider buying mass effect for only double that.
>I don't even like dominos, makes me feel bloated and disgusting, sometimes physically throw it up after in disgust at myself.
>I ordered the wrong dominos, it has barbecue sauce as a base instead of tomato, fuck my life.
>eat half a pizza to myself, feel bad because fat.
>throw it up so I don't feel so fucking bloated.
>tell myself this is the last time I'm ever going to eat dominos.
>forgot to go shopping today.
>ordered dominos earlier.
>I've spent 52 on pizza this week and it's sitting in the kitchen, I'm ashamed, I don't want to eat it, the smell of it is making me feel disgusted at myself.

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>>35739406
I can't talk to women under just about any circumstance, unless I'm high, even then only slightly. Once I come down I feel even worse, as the high will never last forever and I will always return to this shitty feeling of worthlessness and failure. I've only ever had one job and it was complete hell, so I quit without even giving a notice, effectively burning my only bridge of experience. Every day I feel more apathetic towards everything and my depression worsens.