>applying for a hooker >she needs a reference

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>>35720867
>she asks for my sexual resume

>be super skinny, look like tall ugly 13yo boy
>legit the only reason I never got an escort is because I'm scared she would refuse me

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>>35720867
>hiring an escort for the night
>asks when my last gov't penis inspection was

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>>35720867
>she doesn't accept goodboy points

>>35720867
Idk if this is for jokes but it's actually a thing with some of the higher end girls.

le /r/4chan

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>fucked a mommy hooker
>come pretty soon
>"how much time since you've had sex? 10 days? you must get a lor of girls"
>mfw she thought i was chad
>mfw i'm actually full autismo mode

>>35721102
I know. I was actually being serious. Should I mention the girl I couldn't get hard for and just spent 40 minutes licking vagina like a reckless beta?

>>35720977
I'm 19 started seeing escorts when I was 17.

I'm really skinny too, like 26 in width in pants. At least we are skinny and have visible abs. Just trim your pubes and clean your face and you'll be ok. Also don't say age before meeting or else she'll deny you

>>35721201
Hookers never tell you the truth, they'll always tell you you're a super stud, even though you're a betamax who sucks at sex and to which they're utterly repulsed by.

>>35721201
she was just saying that to make you feel good, they do that shit you sperg.

>>35721221
Yeah but escorts keep in touch with each other so they may already know each other. And she'll probably tell her just to take it slow and be cautious with u anon

>>35721256
Why the fuck would you want them to tell you the truth that you're an ugly fucking retard who has to pay money to fuck a whore? You're paying premium prices for her to make you feel good about yourself why the fuck would you spend $150 to fuck a woman and her not boost your ego the entire time? You literally pay them to make them make you feel good both physically and mentally

>>35721256
For GFE, the ones who've been doing it a while will make you feel like they're actually into it and like you, the hint they don't is when the time is nearly up.

>>35721342
The trick is to be up and out by the time your appt is over

>tfw you submit $800 to a hooker and she declines your sex resume

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>>35721342
Do you think they make fun of you with their friends afterwards

>>35720867
>ameritards don't realise the rest of the world has legal safe brothels you can just walk into

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Redpill on GFE

>>35721674

No they don't.
Netherlands, Greece and some places in Germany have legal brothels.

Other parts of the west have none.

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>>35721681
fridndly reminder to not text hoes unless you plan on meeting and have money. They are premium whores not friends

>>35721674
I'm in Australia and I've been to legal ones in (((Melbourne))) plenty of times. Babes are 10/10 super hot but pretty sure they do drugs

>>35721721

> but pretty sure they do drugs

They're hookers.
They're all either druggies or boozers.

They dont sell their holes just for cash, all have an addiction they're funding.

>>35721627
They obviously do. But at the end of the day they're literal whores who suck gross men's dicks for money, so does it really matter their opinions of you?

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>>35721079
Legitimate heh.

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>>35721718

>a clear night many moons ago
>post on Craigslist for a "casual encounter" with a rando
>no bites for a couple hours, until a message at about midnight
>an email with two attachments
>body includes a short intro and a sob story about sick puppies she adopted while in Mexico
>attachments are photos of her in bikini, ass shot, three puppies in some kind of plastic crate in the back seat of a car
>needs $300 for medicine for them
>says she'll make it worth my time
>run out to bank, tell her to come over
>she arrives and I invite her in, sneaking her past my "landlord" (friend's grandmother, was renting a room)
>she gets naked and we do the dew
>we finish up and she puts her number in my phone
>"Let me know when I can see you again..."
>contact her the next night
>she asks for another $300
>tell her it's a deal and we work out a time
>get a text from her about an hour beforehand
>"I had a massage to go to but homie bailed, can I come early?"
>she comes over
>do the dew
>a week goes by and I don't contact her much because I'm spending time on moving
>get a text from her one day
>she's asking if I can help her out with a place to stay or some money
>have to decline for a few reasons, despite actually wanting to help her
>she's upset but says she'll figure it out
>don't hear from her for about a week
>feel bad about what happened to her the whole time
>text her and ask her if she'd like to grab dinner sometime just to hang out
>asks for how long
>told her I didn't know, just wanted to get to know her a bit
>she replies several hours later
>explains in blunt words that "[her] time is valuable" in a long text
>put phone down and think about what that meant coming from her
>realize that I even thought twice about giving her "puppy medicine money" two times
>hadn't heard a word about the puppies since that first night
>didn't even realize that she was the one giving the "massage" a few weeks back
>finally, FINALLY realize I fell in like with a hooker
>cut contact

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>about to have sex finally
>"so what are your strengths and weaknesses?

>>35720867

The expensive ones want references from other to see if you're a weirdo or not

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>Applying for gf
>she needs references and experience

>>35722520
Who would they classify as a weirdo?

>>35720867
tell her to refer to this dick!

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>>35720867
>Use highschool sex ed teacher as a reference for hooker
>mfw it works

>>35722595
That'll get you an appointment for sure.

>>35722581
Minorities, someone who have fetishes they don't want to do, law enforcement officers, basically anyone who they might not like for whatever reasons.

>>35722504
>go to interview with hooker
>so where do you see yourself in two years, anon?

>>35722668
What about the losers who think they're friends with the hookers not just clients with whom they have utter disdain for?

>>35722671
>Why did you choose us over our competition?

>>35722736
They're used to that kind of customers. As long as they're not some kind of potential stalker/serial killer they'll just brush it off like usual.

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>mandatory penis inspection