what would /r9k/ do when the cops nock at his door ?

>>35718308
suck the police mans cock

"do you have a warrant?"

>>35718308
sledgehammer my computer

*Magnets hard drives*
AM I BEING DETAINED ?!?

They did actually. There were rumors that I was a potential school shooter and a schoolmate told the police. They came, asked me questions like if there were weapons in the house, searched my computer and my school notes. That was totally surreal. I was shaking in fear the whole time.

>>35718308

Hello fellow officer. Want to go beat up some minorities like it's 1934?

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put on my replica police uniform, open the door and say "he got out through the back, hurry" then close the door and start posting again

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>>35718517
were you going to shoot up your school tho?

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>>35718308
Politely inform them that Tryon Jefferson lives down the street at the house with the chickens in the yard

>>35718594
Not really. I thought about it sometimes but took no action at all in this direction. Well except for photographing the escape plans. But I think that was after they searched my computer. Might have been uncomfortable otherwise.

>>35718682
thanks for that you made my day

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>>35718702
>not really
school shooter detected

>>35718308
grab my sharpest butter knife and prepare to make my final stand after intensive magnet operations on my hard drive

>>35718881
tbqh if weapons were as easily obtainable in my country as in the US, I might actually have done it at some times in my past. the rumors didn't totally miss the point, they were just a little preterm.

>>35718929
what a hero

Never did anything illegal in my whole life. As much as I am "rebellious" to authority, it's pathetic how submissive to the state, I am.

they wold surely say that i am a child rapist and have very unsafe fetishes after taking a look to the computer..... Loli, gore and shit....

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>Yfw this happened to me 2 days ago
And only because my dog broke some windows in my house
People called police because they thought someone who was attacked in the house where i live alone with my dog.

fucking normalfags.

>>35718308
present my tv licence and tell them they've got nothing against me

>tfw hatespeech laws

>they see the thomas thetrian porn on the cd disc
>thomas thats like uh kids book or sumtin, that's illegal m8
>they give me 4 years in the locker with tyrone

>>35718308
start playing the theme from either The Bill or Sweeney

I wouldn't open it.
Bloc

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>>35718308
they already have, they had a warrant, they took 2 pc-s, 2 laptops, 5 hdds, 6 phones and 2 pendrives

Tell them to fuck off. This is my own private domicile and I won't be harassed

>>35719955
what happened
tell about the events

>>35719955

You sound pretty fucked, what happened

AM I BEEING DETAINED AM I BEING DETAINED?

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>>35720164
>>35720159
the charge: disseminating and possesion of child pornography

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>>35718308
open the door sit back at my pc and put headphones on

>>35720348

That's pretty fucked, how'd you get caught?

>>35719091

>people worry about something bad happening to a recluse
>call the cops in hopes to help them
>frogposter gets pissed
>fucking normalfags

the cops should have shot your dog you faggot.

>>35718308
Open the door, say hi, but not let them in. In the US, cops don't knock if they're allowed to enter. They kick your door in with SWAT members and their warrant. They love using unnecessary force.

I'm essentially Dijkstra so I'd cooperate and more importantly, lie.

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>>35720419
>people worry about something bad happening to a recluse

they thought i was beating someone.
neighboors never talk to me and calling the police is a dick move.
being woke up by the police is not funny.

>>35720731

>reaching this hard

I called the cops when i saw shit going down at my neighbors house. I wanted to make sure the fucker I had never met was ok. Turns out it was a home invasion and they caught the fuckers.

I don't know where you live, but most neighbors don't want to fuck your life over. They watch out for your home and you and hope that you would do the same for them.

>>35718308

They'd be back in their car with a sweaty brow, and shit in their pants in less than ten minutes.

This little goy knows something that can send all the cops in their town out to pasture.

well i am in the uk, so I'll just tell them i am a muslim and they will let me do whatever

probably suck me off too

>>35720348
How'd you get caught?
Did you do it? Why?

>>35718308
Nothing.
I have no weed in the house (got a couple of pipes and other paraphernalia).
I don't look at or download anything remotely questionable.
I'm a good boy, more or less.