Hold me robots/borgs

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I don't even know anymore

> be me
> 27, going on 28 in a few months
> still haven't got in shape
> still haven't finished university
> no money for an apartment or a house. Still living with my parents.
> haven't done anything with my life
> all I got is basically a car (to get to work), a computer and a motorcycle; it's the only thing that can make me forget just how of a sad, fat fuck I am: motorcycling like there's not tomorrow or gaming.
> basically 28 years wasted at this point
> huge depression that lasted almost 6 years. Took all my energy fighting the urge to drive my car in a concrete wall.
> no gf
> never had physical contact except handshake
> never had any kind of relationship
> think about loneliness most of the time
> trying to be a good person to everyone
> people are good to me but I can still feel they only see me as a sad, fat, virgin weirdo
> friends bring me to strip clubs. Only makes it worse. They look at me like some sick dog.
> why my friends are even friend with me?
> unfollow everyone on facebook who post pictures of their happy couple or their babies
> basically just following nihilist pages at this point

Why couldn't I chase some whores in highschool like everyone? I always thought I was better for not letting my urges/emotions get in place of reason. Now I'm depressed day and night. I can see I'm not like normal people and it makes me sad. Maybe I'm just an undiagnosed autist or something.

I've started reading on meditation. I'll update you guys if it makes things more bearable.