/britfeel/ Homeland edition

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good boy

>just sperged out and half trashed my room cause I woke up angry

>>35658249
that's silly lad.

Been up since 6 and weirdly enjoying it. Done a ton of shit and it isn't even 9AM.

At least the boss isn't in today so I don't even have to pretend I'm working.

>>35658014
Heat wave my arse. Raining already.

>>35658014
depression is the source of my insomnia

4:50 eastern US here drinking green tea

>>35658378
Gonna need to see your /britfeel/ visa if you wanna keep posting in this thread mate.

>>35658413
I-I uh, must've left it in my other pants
oreganilap

So today is my 25th birthday.
Mum has been silly about it, dad barely mentioned it and my brother hasn't do said a thing.
Everyone else I know gets a slew of birthday wishes on normiebook at the stroke of midnight. I've had four and it's almost 9, plus I know most of them are the sorts that stay up til the wee hours.

Feeling a little unloved desu

Monday morning therapy anon here.
its very grey and miserable.
eating oats, drinking a cup of tea that isn't quite warm enough to be satisfying.
cant even remember what we talked about last week. think its gonna be a slow day.

>>35658249
do you feel better for it
i had a destroy everything you love moment a couple week ago. properly trashed my front room.

>>35658249
Literal childish roastie tantrum

>>35658457
Happy birthday anon, I hope you feel better soon

>>35658457
I turned off the Facebook thing to save myself from all that. Happy birthday anyway lad.

>>35658477
Good luck. I feel like I'd absolutely hate therapy.

>>35658602
its not that bad, its an old grey haired man and we talk about whatever the fuck we want

What have you got your Mum for Mother's Day anon?

Or did you forget?

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>be autistic
>too low functioning to hold a job
>too high functioning to qualify for bennies
kill me please

>>35658457
cheer up lad. at least your in iceland eh. i think you should treat yourself to some pickled shark and a shot of vodka for your birthday.
happy birthday n all lad.

>>35658726
when is it? please don't be today.
my mum woke me up n i went apeshit. uh oh

>>35658750
You mean ESA? Surely you can get JSA at least.

>be chronic insomniac
>probably low functioning enough to qualify for bennies
>too pussy to ask my doctor to back me up

>>35658726
bastard i had a panic then. it's not till sunday

>>35658457
Happy birthday, anon!
Hope you have a great day today.

>>35658477
i'm just starting my adventure with therapy. got an assesment at 10 with some group called talking therapies. it's only over phone for this assesment but am fucking shitting myself.

I want to drop kick my neighbour's dogs.

>>35658996
Drop kick your neighbours for not training them, it's not the dogs fault.

>>35659014
Fair point. Though my neighbour is morbidly obese and drop kicking her might prove to be a challenge.

Morning lads, had an eventful one.

Gave a homeless lad a spot to sleep on the floor of my dorm at uni last night. I'd just returned to uni after spending the weekend at home, and was stupid enough to fall for some "spot beggars". I was thick enough to give the fuckers 20 quid- I feel like a fucking moron, but they really like to take the moral high ground and give you a sob story about how the woman's pregnant and they need a train fare. Never falling for that again. Is it a sign of abnormal stupidity to get done like that? I noticed tons of red flags but they pretty much mug you verbally.

Anyways, I continued the walk back to my student halls and this guy and a girl asked for some spare change. He noticed I looked depressed and I hung out with the pair of them for a few hours. The girl left after a while, and me and the dude went halves on some beer, chips, and fags. Gave me the lowdown on which beggars in town are bullshitters and had a really deep chat about life. Took him back to mine and we watched some comfy Red Dwarf with toa st.

>>35658816
1 week from now

>>35659052
>Is it a sign of abnormal stupidity to get done like that?
Not stupid if you spotted it, just a sign of being a very weak person who cant stand up for themselves

>>35658457
>I've had four
count yourself lucky

Relapsed back into depression lads, had it confirmed yesterday by a doctor.

Sigh, I was starting be hopeful for some reason, now all that time spent actively trying to be positive has gone to waste. Great timing too easter holidays in 2 weeks then exams. I'll probably fail.

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WRONG WAY
DOWNUH ONE WAY STUHREE EE EET

>>35659196
>eating a pot noodle and watching all the Dee Dee bits

pure bliss lad
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22KiKYflVew

>>35659186
>had it confirmed yesterday by a doctor.
why would you need a doctor to confirm something like that

Holly Willoughby Leaks Tonight Lads

>>35659225
Because a lot of people think being sad is depression.

>>35659225
You wouldnt want to be labelled as one of those chronic self diagnosers would you?

>>35658457
Happy birthday friendo. Have a (You).

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Fucked up this photo but damn, barely a few feet from the road and the snow is up to my calves

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Another joyous week of work begins lads.

Post waifus and husbandos, if you please.

>>35659347
make an igloo

>>35659218
Depressingly relatable
good stuff

>American accent from daily skype calls for years
>always mistaken for an American
>follow American politics on a daily basis
>disgusted by Brit cucks all around me
>basically no friends besides one guy
Should I just move to the US already? Feel like I have nothing here anymore besides my parents.

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>>35659359
Cheeky husbando post right before I leave for work

>>35659225
I've guessed that I've had it a while but self diagnosing is for faggots.

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>>35658996
puppers are not for dropkick

>>35658457
Happy birthday laddo

Wtf is this. Oh yeah definitely illegally travel to the country and get fucked by normies, let them cum inside you relentlessly, then get taxpayers to pay for your prenatal care; no problem there pal

fucking normies man i swear

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>>35659471
why does my picture upload never attach, forget this monday

>>35659460
These dogs are the yappy little shits that do that screaming bark thing.

>>35659389
funny how you call people around you cucks yet you're throwing away your own culture and heritage to suck up to americans

enjoy fag, and good luck getting into the usa kek

>>35659460
thats a nice doggo you have there, would pet

>couldn't sleep last night
>had to walk past the place i got assaulted last year yesterday
>while trying to go to sleep kept re-playing the events over in my head
>wake up this morning after a few hours
>hoping for comfy lie-in
>next door neighbors were blasting shitty rap music
>just the most basic drum machine beat on loop with some retard talking angrily over it like a chimp
>comfyness ruined
>go on /birt/ to whine about it

>>35659389
What field do you work in?

Gonna be tricky to sort out a move if it's something unskilled

>>35659510
how do people play such shitty music so loudly? honestly the only reason can be they want other people to know what music they listen to.
but when its so fucking bad how arent they embarrassed.
people are so stupid

>>35659529
I don't work, finishing up my useless humanities degree right now. But I imagine life in the US is less shit than this.

>>35659498
>unironically saying this with the current state of Britain
Where to begin?

>>35659542
>I LISTEN TO RAP, THATS COOL RIIIIGHT?
>proceeds to blast it everywhere they go in their banged out cars everywhere they go
>I live right nest to the main road into Notts city center so i hear this sort of shit all the time

This town made me hate rap and RnB so much, didn't hate all of it coming in, but every day some asshole blasts it around town and i can't stand it any more.

>>35659573
>I don't work, finishing up my useless humanities degree right now.

You absolutely are not getting into the US, sorry.

>>35659573
unless you have any money stashed away, you can qualify as a small business investor surprisingly easily if you've done your research prior to hopping the pond.

>>35659573
>Where to begin?

where to begin indeed, easier to run than to fight eh lad

>tfw have to fill out a workbook on preventing extremism for work

Whats the fucking point

Sometimes I just know I'm going to be a NEET incel loser forever, but other times I think everything will work out in the end. I wonder which one is true

>>35659633

Everything will work out in the end, I was a NEET incel loser until 23.

>>35659640
Satou?

Origami

doing a quick suicidal thoughts sesh

>its an anon has an existential crisis shit

brilliant

>28 next week
>still haven't hit puberty

its a weird feel looking/sounding like a 15 year old

>>35659640
>I was a NEET incel loser until 23

And now presumably you are not? So kindly get the fuck off my board.

>>35659598
>>35659617
Thanks for the advice. Well thing is I have Canadian citizenship so I can easily get into the US for six months at least. No worries there.

>>35659622
>fight
Fight how exactly? If by fight you mean foreign policy, we've been cucked at every turn for the last 50 years. Rhodesia, South Africa, Hong Kong, Ireland, the list goes on and on. They're not even allies, we straight up got cucked and gave away their sovereignty, sometimes because of muh feels. There's nothing left to fight for besides some Pyrrhic victories here or there like Brexit. I have more hope for us than say, Sweden, but we're even more cucked than France.

Any lads just wanna give up on society, buy a caravan and become a gypo?

>>35659665

Not sure what Satou is m8

>>35659769
Every day. As long as it has internet

>>35658457
I made the decision a few years back to disable post on my facebook wall alltogether, worked quite well

What's something fun to do when you can only move your arms?

>>35659789
You know what I'm going to say, lad

>>35659789
masturbate desu lad

>>35659811
>>35659812

OP here, lol.

>>35659769

All the time, or preferably a small house

Homeland was alright lads.

>>35659739
>So kindly get the fuck off my board.
>my board

Hiro, if you want your comment to hold any weight, you'll have to put your Admin trip on.

>>35659789
play video games
origami

>>35659769
All I want is food, water, a decent internet connection and enough money to pay for my relatively cheap hobbies.

What was your first car and how much did you pay?

>>35659903
2001 Fiat Punto 600 bongs

Bought it last year.

>>35659903
First car was a Peugeot 206 that I got for free as an incentive to learn to drive. First car I bought was an Isuzu Trooper that cost 1100

>>35659925
How'd you get that for 1100?

>>35659925
>Isuzu Trooper
Did you move too the American mid-west or something?

>>35659903

Vauxhall Corsa as a present, later on bought an Astra for 900.

>>35659936
It was a long wheel base 1997 model year with 160k miles on it.

https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4592348

lol

>tfw entire seed in my shit

I dont even remember eating seeds

>>35660054
Jesus christ, poor kids these days think gcses matter still

>>35660054
I got straight As where the fuck was my college gf!??

Who else here waiting on their oneitis to finally change their mind

>>35660062
plant it now it's been fertilised

>>35660082
i knew as soon as i left school they're pointless. i got zero gcse's. apart from when i've filled in job application then i got all Cs

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>>35660054

"Just be yourself mate"

Chaz thundercock

>>35660153
yeah... he looks like a real ladies man

>>35659769
I've seriously thought about it but bricks and mortar wins every time. If I were to become a nomad I concluded the best option would be a discrete (stealth) motor home; you can optimise on the fat of society this way. Alternatively a narrow boat is a distant second but that kind of lifestyle requires moderate to serious efforts and a possible reduction in comfy.

>>35660054
what are sets? honestly no clue

t. 25 year old neet

>>35660169
Smartest kids go in the top sets, there's usually 3 or 4 tiers.

>>35660189
>tfw was in the top sets and am now a NEET with no A levels

>>35660169
I think I vaguely remember, like set 1 is the top kids. I was in set 6/7 for everything with all the special kids.


t. soon to be 24 year old NEET

>>35660205
>set 6/7
jesus my school was so small it could barely have 3

>>35659263
>>35659274
>>35659427

Wow. These guys. He didn't see a psychiatrist. Your GP just goes on what you tell them. It's basically self diagnosis to the GP.
Have you ever tried to seek medical help for your issues? It seems like you have not.

>>35660162
ive been thinking about getting a small car that is able to fold the back seats completely flat for stealth living

newer cemeteries have taps for gardeners so water wouldnt be a problem, and i could use the bathrooms of 24 hour supermarkets

Englads, does a girl keep someone around in order to date them later or just string them on?

>>35660241
>and i could use the bathrooms of 24 hour supermarkets

What about on Sundays after 4pm?

>>35660241
What about showers?

>>35660244
Yes.

>>35660222
>leaving the house to go to the GP
what do you take me for m8

>>35660222
I have a psychologist who makes me eat Antipsychotics and SSRI's am I special enough senpai

>>35660216
yeah my school wasn't too big either, like 600-800 student size.

teachers were abysmal in the bottom sets and frequently just cover teachers who didn't give a shit and let people run wild and do nothing the whole lesson

>>35660247
can't you just piss/shit at the side of the road? don't see toilets being the biggest issue

find a 24hour gym and use that to shower once a week or something

Jesus Christ lads never ever tell your parents that you're planning to do something dangerous like climbing or skydiving.

Mine are literally sending me a billion texts a second telling me not to do it.

>>35660248
Date or string

>>35660247
>What about on Sundays after 4pm?
I dont know where you live but they are available no matter what time or day here

>>35660248
>What about showers?
If I could collect enough water then i could take a pretty shit shower, but it would keep me clean

>>35660249
>>35660258
Then you say self diagnosis is shit. And I'm sorry but psychologists cannot prescribe anything they are basically therapists and not Drs. Your GP can prescribe you, or if its serious enough you can get referred to a psychiatrist. Who is a Dr. Inb4 autism about the distinction.

>>35660197
>tfw i was in set 4 maths and demoted from french to german because they thought i was a thicky

smashed my a levels and graduated with a first class engineering degree. i'd like to rub that in my ex-teachers cunt faces. my school reports were quite frankly atrocious, they never explicitly said I was 'stupid'; they just about alluded to it

>>35659052
What was it like to shag his chocolate box?
>>35659263
>I'm a special snowflake and when I'M sad it's a special thing but when YOU'RE sad you're just sad.

Utter faggot.

>>35660306
>Demoted from French to German

That doesn't make much sense lad. German is more difficult than french.

>>35660241
>ive been thinking about getting a small car that is able to fold the back seats completely flat for stealth living

It's possible, but try an estate vehicle like the gentleman below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVpPt8vCYRQ

>>35660306
From Manchester met?

>>35660303
Oh dear I probably meant psych then I don't actually know what the differences between them are. Albeit i haven't been in the system long I haven't been given a diagnosis on anything yet but my nurse person (who I see more than the main pysch) told me it's probably a psychotic mood disorder.

Can i get some (you)'s please?

I don't have any yet.

>>35660336
GCSE Deutsch is quite basic; I agree the meat of the language is hard as nails.

>>35660351
No, I studied at the uni of Southampton.

>>35660378
Eeear lad

>>35660378

This is why I love Operation Ganges so much, guaranteed (you)s

>>35660408
>wanting worthless (you)s

anyone ever fiddle with their bumhole then sniff their fingers?

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>tfw you get 10+ (You)s on a post

Quite the adrenaline rush

Lads never EVER shag a single mother. I fell for the single mother meme and I just got out of sleeping in the cells in the police station for making a JOKE

I'd been seeing her for a few weeks, lost my virginity to her,

Spent the weekend at her place and last night I said a JOKE, a JOKE that I'd fuck her son's arse. She was straight on to the police and I spent the night in the fucking cells for some roastie cunt.

>>35660443
how exactly do you mean fiddle
i scratch and sniff, but don't venture inside

>>35660461
does it smell nice lad

>>35660458
looks like it's another anon makes up telling a pedo joke to someone episode

Spring is here.
How are you going to fight every instinct in your body telling you to reproduce?

>>35660498

Spring doesn't start today, it started on the 1st of March.

Otherwise, December 19th would be considered 'autimn' not 'winter'

>>35660498
I'm already dead inside.

Of course that wasn't fucking original.

my tum tums rumbling what shall i eat

>>35660443
yeah I do before/during fapping, turns me on desu

>>35660507
It's the first day of spring, google doesn't lie.

>>35660488
I don't know what you're talking about mate, this just happened to me today.

any tips on blagging a job to pad out your cv?
or could I say shit like " I was travelling " or "I was ill visiting hospital regularly"?

>>35660507
December 19th is in autumn. Winter starts on the 21/22 of December.

>>35660458
wow who could have seen an outcome like this? joking about fucking a mothers son

>>35660536
say you were self-employed buying things at car boot sales and selling them on ebay

>>35660536
Use a medical excuse to fill the gap if you can.

>>35660546
>Calling the police about a joke is justified.

C'mon mate don't be ridiculous.

>>35660585
most mothers are fiercely protective of their children, how was she meant to know it was a joke? why would she even take the risk?

>>35660588
It was an obvious joke.

Honestly I never thought people here would be defending a roastie single mother.

It was 19 degrees with about 11 hours of sun on Monday

No reasonable person would consider that Winter

>>35660615
im not defending her, im trying to get you to understand her mindset, it was an utterly stupid place to make a joke like that, i doubt it would have even been acceptable on sites like reddit let alone in real life to a mother

>>35660615
id defend a roasty over a nonce any day of the week

>>35660615
thats because everyone knows you're the same anon that made up posting that comment on your nephews facebook photo

>>35660632

So would I, unfortunately britfeel has an abundance on nonces

>>35660458

As a single mother, I would have done exactly the same.

>>35660630
I know what you mean but I thought she would have a sense of humour
>>35660632
I'm not a nonce mate, it was a joke.
>>35660641
What comment? I don't even have a nephew. Think you've confused me with another anon

>>35660666

Even if it was a sincere joke, what makes you think that joke is funny?

>>35659218
Loving the neet blanket.

>>35660666
You remind me of the dude who made a joke about molesting someones kid on his facebook and now his entire family hates him.

I believe you're not a nonce though.

You're just fucking retarded, haha.

>>35660565
Im guessing it cant be vauge and it cant be something like muh depression bu it also cant be something super serious?

>>35660560
aye I had mentioned some self employment work I had done

Cheers for the input lads

>>35660666

So how exactly did you bring up a joke about wanting to bum her child?

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Operation Ganges has given me an idea lads.

If one person can cause that much nuisance, why don't 10 of us go over to /brit/ and do an Operation Ganges there?

>>35660498
Is this why I'm craving so badly for a boyf, even if I can't reproduce? Flipping spring weather is driving me crazy and losing me a lot of my concentration, clearly since I'm here and all

>>35660713
>Operation Ganges
whats that

>tfw been laying in bed since friday morning
>can continue this till I get work later at night
>taking only 2 protein drinks(just powder and almond milk) along with steroids to get cut

I wish this would never end, id just lay in bed for months on end, only leave the house twice a week for a short gym session and buy almond milk afterwards.

also ate a chunk of raw gammon joint, it's good, dunno why I should bother cooking it.

>>35660679
Why is any joke funny?

You can't subject humour to analysis like that.

>>35660691
I'm not retarded. I'm in Mensa.

I'd never make a joke like that on Facebook because when something is written it can be taken in any way. But when I said it, it was obviously a joke.

>>35660707
We were talking about anal and she said she isn't into it. I said "Well if you won't let me fuck your arse I'll just have to fuck your son's arse instead, haha"

>>35660560
>>35660565
>>35660536


DON'T use a medical excuse and DON'T say you were flipping shit on Ebay.

DO say you were self-employed but make it sound like a decent employment. I.E. I was a self-employed director of a limited property development company - make it sound plausible - I.E. my father funded the projects, I managed the projects, I employed appropriate tradesmen and where possible undertook improvements myself such as labour and decorating - now you have a portfolio of rental properties. Filled a gap of 18 months with that one.

>>35660697
Keep it vague. Just say you were dealing with medical issues that were preventing you from working.

>>35660741
>we'd love to see some of those finished projects

>>35660741
You got lucky as fuck with that one. Would have been the most simple research to prove you wrong.

>>35660733
>I'm not retarded. I'm in Mensa.
lads can you accept this is bait now and stop replying to it

>>35660741

To which the interviewer replies

"great, so why do you now want to clean toilets at McDonald's? "

>>35660741
>I was a self employed director of a limited company

>Really? Because the companies house website isn't coming up with anything for your name.

Retarded plan that you got lucky with.

>>35660733

Why talk about shagging her son's arse you disgusting little prick.

>>35660756

Yes you're welcome to visit one of my properties - call their bluff.

>>35660758
>>35660773

Fair enough, don't claim directorship. I never did personally. Just say daddies the director and you're on the books.

>>35660781
>Ok so what's your dad's name?

>>35660741
My real self employment experience was running a small IT support business for my local area about 5 years back now.

would that be fine?

>>35658014
>Homeland edition
alright. forgot about this new season of homeland and caught a couple minutes recently. looks like it's another trip into Carrie's continuing Xanax adventures. looks shit tbqh desu

>>35660787

A father and the offspring do not necessarily share the same surname.

>>35660795
Yes. But be aware of the company house checks if you weren't actually the director of the company.

>>35660741
Is self employed the same as me advertising my services locally e.g. gardening / window cleaning, doing said jobs but I am the only employee. etc? and not an actual company?

>>35660831
I guess that'd fall under 'sole trader'? Yes essentially.

>>35660803
Yeah that's why they'd ask for your dad's name.

I occasionally interview people as part of my job. If they came in with a story about running a limited company I'd be very interested - not because I'd suspect you of lying necessarily, but because I'd be wondering why you needed to suddenly work for someone else.

Out of all the lies you could tell, this is one of the worst.

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this is you
(original post)

>>35660849
not him but your advise is not to make yourself look to amazing?

do you have any other cv / interview tips / insight?

>>35660478
smells of bum. so yeah it does :)

>>35660857
If you want to explain a gap in employment then traveling/volunteering abroad is the best way. Do a bit of research first.

"I was traveling in Cambodia and I met people from this amazing charity called "Blah Blah" doing X,Y,Z. I decided to hang around for a while and help them with it."

They are unlikely to check up on it, because it's effort.

LADS LADS LADS

b/thread/726215577/20-minutes-turn-on-bbc-news

>>35660849
>but because I'd be wondering why you needed to suddenly work for someone else.
My excuse for that was I'd graduated from my degree 18 months previously and it felt appropriate to get a job related to my degree.

>Out of all the lies you could tell, this is one of the worst.
It is is you don't know how the system works. I'd spent 18 months watching 'homes under the hammer' so I had an idea of what property development entailed, it gave me something to talk about at interview and I was wise about searchable data held by companies house.

If you think it's a bad idea perhaps you'd like to suggest a better way of covering large CV gaps.

>>35660909
Ffs lad. >>726215577

>>35660944
Scratch that, apparently I'm just as retarded.

>>35660954
fucksake lad this is how you link across boards
>>>/b/726215577

>>35660909

It will be nothing, i'm more concerned about where I am. Coming back from the Pharmacy I saw two ambulances, a police car, and a fire engine.

>>35659218
Is this the truest representation of the ESA lifestyle?
t. fukn meintal

>>35660983
i wish dee dee was how i was

t. too scared to even leave my house

>>35660970
What are we tuning in for?

>>35660970
>>>/b/726215577

testing originally

>>35661011

It's just the news at 1 about Article 50, there's nothing strange happening.

>>35661011
don't ask me lad, im teaching anons how to use 4chan

>>35661011
you missed it?

>>35661028
Boo, I was expecting something more exciting.

>>35661011

It was nothing. Back to LBC for me.

>>35661011
the happening

this was an original public service announcement

>>35659218
Are you on something son ?

>>35661057
High on life desu

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>tfw no bf who hugs like this

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Article 50 soon lads.

>>35661022
>no IDs
didn't /b/ have IDs fairly recently?

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>>35659359
here we go lad. 1 lovely waifu as requested

What chinese cartoon should i watch if im not a faggot/weeb?

>>35661095

It's going to be a wild ride.

>That girl you like loves being called a little slut when she's getting fucked
>The only reason you aren't the dude doing it is because no confidence, therefore no appeal

How do you display more confidence when you've backed yourself into the corner of being shy and anxious

>>35661093
Wut anime desu

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how do you rate my wrestler lads. no female options in create mode on raw2k15 so made my own

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>>35661212
she's still to make her debut

>>35661180
they're overrated
japanese animation films are good though. anything by Hayao Miyazaki and Your Name was a recent good one

>>35661180
try monster

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>>35661218
but think she will be a crowd favourite

>>35661212
>averagetrap.jpeg

>>35661185
drugs, i'm shy and anxious when i'm clean. drugs turn me into a chad.

>>35661212
>no female options in create mode on raw2k15
lmao why would anyone play it if u cant get 2 custom slags to wrestle each other

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>>35661212

Nice, she looks like she will be part of the Divas revolution, showing women as strong, independent, and fierce.

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Had to visit the job center today because they missed me and felt like having a chat.

Bitch was trying her hardest to get me on a steps to work course from 3 years ago , calling over other desk monkeys to get their opinion, the fucking twats.

Now i don't know what to do , usually sleep to around 4pm desu

>>35661185
How do you know she likes that?

>>35661185
Confront your shadow self and awaken your persona.

>tfw have to buy more milk every 2 days

>>35661329
drink less milk
originally of course

>>35661311
what, you dont think im taking enough acid?

>>35661338

Not an option desu

>>35661329

Coffee? tea? cereal?

Or are you just drinking straight milk like a mad bastard?

>>35661348
Maybe you're doing too much. Needs cooldown time to really be worthwhile. When I did it, those black thorns from PMMM showed up everywhere. Got flashbacks watching Madoka when it came out a year later. Pretty much confirmed someone involved in its development took acid imo

>>35661375

Tea, cereal and the odd pint of milk.

>>35661351
lad how much milk are you using? theres 3 of us here, all having tea, me and my dad have a lot of ceral and i drink a glass of milk a night, and a 4 pint bottle lasts 3-4 days

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>>35661329
>tfw drink 1 litre a day.
>tfw also have to buy milk every second day.

Lad, it's fine lad, easy calories, and easy protein.

>>35661093
>tfw no slightly older personal coach bf
Feels sad man.

whats ur go-to meal when ur depressed, unmotivated and dont want to cook. but u also know food helps enormously.

ill usually just make a big omlette

>>35661434
cheesy beans on toast

>>35661434
Beans on toast with cheese and brown sauce is the classic I reckon. Just had an apple crumble and custard mesen

>>35661434

Pasta with cheese

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>>35661434
Beer battered fish and chips.
20 mins in the fan oven at 200. Add some vinigar and ketchup. Bellissimo

Have you guys ever done youtube videos?

Im thinking of doing anime reviews

>>35661430
I often fantasize about having a team of experts who are all personally invested in making me the best version of me that's possible. A personal doctor, dermatologist, personal trainer, teachers for my hobbies, etc.

I want their passion to be making me as good as possible. Shame no amount of money can buy that.

>implying it would matter if money could buy that anyway

>>35661497
>Shame no amount of money can buy that
Simply untrue. Richfags, pro fighters and Olympians have this. Well, the physical side only the the latter two but the point stands.

>woke up 15 minutes age
>already gone into a rage twice
Who else here /earlydeath/?

>>35661492
sometimes i think about doing gameplay videos then i go and watch bad channels to remind myself how embarrassing it would be

>>35661522
You can buy the best in each profession, but you can't make them care about you on a personal level. It's pretty damn close though.

>>35661497
pay me a lot of money a year and i will be your personal trainer plus teacher for your hobbies and i would be very passionate about making you as best as you could be

i would only require every friday off plus weekends of course and public holidays plus 30 days holiday a year on top of those

>>35661497
Pay me a lot of money and I'll be your loser friend who always compliments you and makes you feel better about yourself.

>>35661525
i hope so but i'm not that lucky.

>>35661589
you could make them care if you offered bonuses depending on your personal progress, so they have a reason to be invested in your progress

I quit smoking weed and tobacco 4 months ago, alcohol too. desu, it hasn't shown any reward. I'm still depressed.

>>35661604
I'm sure getting this angry over my cat crying and there being no tracker bars is a fairly good sign my heart will explode in a few years

>>35661606
How can you afford so many vices?

>>35661497
sounds like what that hipster trip fag was taking about last night bar the health aspect

he said he spent 18k on stylist advice (clothes hair cut, skin products) and an image consultant they even got him to change his name

>>35661606
Who the hell told you quitting those would make you not depressed? Those things just mask the depression and don't cure it or anything but quitting doesn't stop you being depressed.

>>35661606
See your GP. I've been through the same thing (except i never really drank) and medication/counselling is the only way i've made progress.

>>35661585
I often fantasize about this, but it would just be a dedicated personal trainer, nutritionist/ chef, martial arts instructor and philosophy/ theology lecturer. I can imagine that if I had these things I could be very happy.

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>>35658014
Better late than never edition

h, it's great being black in a white neighborhood

>White boys wont DARE start a fight with you

"intimidates whites guy*

>You get to fuck EVERY white girl whitin a one mile radius with your beautiful black...

*cuts to interracial sex scene*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyhmlS-CMsQ

>>35661589
Emphasis on the 'experts' part. For example, you'd need to be a top class pianist for one of the hobbies, or a top class personal trainer (which I know there are a lot of).

>>35661656
You mean the dude with a tattoo of himself? His image consultant better have put up a hell of a fucking fight when he had that retarded idea.

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>>35659359
Alright, I'll post my rather lovely spider waifu

>>35661681
I want a doctor where I don't need to self diagnose everything and persistently bring it up with him before he attempts an offical diagnosis and treatment (which is usually some generic shit that doesn't work).

I want a doctor that pays close attention to me and spots things that could be improved, and helps me improve them.

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>>35661692

>this has been posed constantly for the last 5 months

fucking stop

No

>>35661726
Yeah, that would be good too. Just have an absolutely thorough examination of everything wrong, then work on fixing it.

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>>35661182
A wild ride is always fun, lad

just found out i can fit a bit over half a cucumber up my bum haha

Face, especially nose, is all scratched up because it was so itchy during my binge. Think I'm dont with heroin for awhile.

>>35659359
Who is this dick holster?

bloxblox

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>>35661750

Congrats lad

>>35661754

Are you the anon who bought some heroin for their birthday?

>>35661743
Exactly, I want someone to fix problems I didn't know I had, leaving me feeling better than I knew I could.

>>35661770
>Are you the anon who bought some heroin for their birthday?
That's me. Forgot how strong this shit was. I cant imagine how people do it everyday.

>>35661703
>You mean the dude with a tattoo of himself?
yeah that dude

I think they advised him to go all out hipster for the results he wanted

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>>35659359
Here's the husbando. Rewatching yet again. New manga issue when FKMT REEEEEEE

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>tfw away from my PC over the weekend and I'm now waiting for Neir to download

>>35661789
He looks like a fucking idiot, and I think hipster is something that can be done right. His stylist is probably like those people who take a few shitty pictures and add 'photographer' to their portfolio.

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>be wagecuck
>get long-term illness
>lose job because of it
>invest all savings into starting a business
>business fails
>cant get a manual labour job because of illness
>cant get a non-manual labour job because of work history

WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME LISA WHY!?!?!?!?!

>>35661821
You not eligible for ESA lad?

>>35661652
>being no tracker bars
choc chip tracker bars?
you had every right to get angry
i went apeshit at a mate i let stay with me for a week because he ate the last of my waffles nutella and clotted cream.
what was catto bitching at?

anyone else straight but turned on by the thought of fucking another man? i watch strictly gay porn these days cos i cum buckets to it.. pretty hot tbqh shame im straight or id probably try it

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>>35661829
No. It's a terrible catch-22 type of situation.

The symptoms of my illness are suppressed by my medication, so I don't classify as disabled.

They symptoms that prevent me from working manual labour are side-effects of the medication.

I suppose I could go off the meds and claim ESA, but then I'm back to having seizures multiple times a week.

There's no winning this.

>>35661816
isn't nier supposed to be a bad pc port of something

>>35661847
I can only get aroused by black women these days

>>35661862
Everyone is just complaining because the menus are designed for a controller and the frame rate is capped at 60

>>35661659
I thought masking it made it worse. I thought quiting would help me find balance, when actually it's just made my feels worse.

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>>35661847
>anyone else straight but turned on by the thought of fucking another man?
You might be bi, lad
But to answer your question, yes. I have been jacking it almost exclusively to trap doujinshi.

>>35661803
NO KAIJI, SAVE YOUR MONEY

>>35661862
Totalbiscuit said it was fine, but the controls were a bit weird. You can remap them though, so you'll have to find a layout that works for you.

>>35661847
>cum buckets to gay porn
>im straight though
>r9k

>>35661892
I normally wank twice in a row. The first time is to some gay depraved shit and the second is to vanilla shit.

I don't understand. For the first wank, vanilla stuff doesn't do it for me, and for the second I'm disgusted by anything else.

>>35661877
It's a question of making yourself resilient enough to endure your feels. Vices suppress them, abstinence makes you face them and be battered by them until you kill yourself or learn to cope. I found it hellish to cope with stress without alcohol. Now I have it more under control. I still want to drink and do occasionally, but not having it as a first response in times of stress has improved things, in a sense.

>>35661884
Shut uuup how do I foster that dependency if he gets control of his life? But yeah that scene was as depressing as it was inevitable.

anyone fancy posting their todger?

>>35661927
No but you could post your boipucci

>>35661937
sorry lad that sights reserved for the people that fuck me

>>35661916
don't know, my rational mind tells me to ignore the feels, but they are too real to ignore, they paralyze me

take baby steps I suppose

tfw been away from my pc for 11 days (on a shitty laptop atm) staying at my parent's house.

cant fuckin wait for thursday to have a big spliff, a big wank and play some video games.

there was a caterpillar on the kitchen floor last night lads

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>>35661927
>tfw chode

>>35661978
cant stans those spooky little cunts. underrated gross insect

>>35661986
That's not a chode you retard.

Ok lads, quit fb and been ghosting everyone. Most of my friends know I do this sometimes so have accepted it but one girl has been texting me upset and saying she's worried about me. Just sent me;
>"You're pretty much the only person in the world that I can more than tolerate- why do you think I talk to no one and used to wait til u were online. You've even saved my life a few times without realising. I couldnt lose you"

So fellas do what you do and tear it apart because women cant feel emotions or whatever. Need the extra push to completely ignore her.

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>tfw can't stop wanking to futa on male doujins

When you start letting your cat lick your hair you know you've hit the bottom

>>35662011
share some, lad

>>35662002
you're clearly underage, hope the mods ban you.

>>35662011
>tfw fapped to a guro doujin for the first time last night
>tfw ill probably do it again
Down the rabbit hole I go, never to return

>>35662017
pubes or head.

>>35662002
>Caring about a roasties feelings

>>35662002
>my friends
>girl has been texting me
glad i've pretty much given up on this place already

>>35662002
this is a fabricated story because nobody sends messages like that

if it is genuine then shes fucking retarded ugly and in turn worthless

you can thank me later

>>35662011
>futa on male
Patrician taste there tbqh lad

>>35662035
head... I suppose there is still another step for me to fall down

>>35662020
Only just started
>>35662034
Japan has ruined us
>>35662042
Got any to share?

>>35662040
>retarded ugly
Can we get an example? I want to get a good mental image of when we're dealing with here.

>>35661967
my laptop packed in a few weeks ago only recently got a voucher for it on friday

just waiting for my new one to be delivered

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>>35661847
i like me some bi action

Ebina lad's crotch radiates heat at the level of a small to medium sized space heater.

>>35662094
yeah furious masturbation can create a bit of heat, leave it alone for a bit it should be ok

>>35662040
It's real and she's not ugly although she is incredibly mentally ill and also female.

>>35662059
It's their revenge for Hiroshima and Nagasaki. They didn't kill the men that did it, they made their grandsons into degenerates.

Degenerates with patrician taste.

I know Britain didn't have much to do with it, but I'd already written this out before realizing it.

>>35662116
I'll say it again, anyone who would send that message is underage, or just ugly.
BAN

>>35662142
>BAN
m-mods pls do my bidding someone get a text they must be breaking da rules

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>ignore everyone
>some one messages me
>wut do lads?


Thread took a fucking noise dive quality wise desu

>>35662195

nose*

origg

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>>35662059
>got any to share
I never think to keep track of doujin names but /d/ is overflowing with this stuff desu

>>35662195
>>35662142
>this person is clearly an ugly child
>they are not
>clearly they are
Great banter ITT

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>>35662017
>Even your cat is worried about your personal hygiene

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GOD DAMN id do some terrible things to Rachel on count down lads

fuck it wank time
odds bi orgy vids
evens wwe diva porn vids

>>35662234
i guess my cat is always worried about the state of my hands then because he wants to lick them

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>>35662219
I'm ashamed in myself for being into this sort of stuff

>>35662269
Paige's vid is basically cuck porn featuring a BBC anyway.

Up to date on Kaiji (husbando) and Kurosawa. Strongest Man was fantastic with a perfect ending, New Kurosawa was a mistake. Watched all of Akagi. Do I start on Ten or read the Akagi manga? He was a bit too much of a nothin personnel for me, and I don't think I care about Washizu or mahjong in space or whatever. Anyone read Ten?

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>>35662303

Cat tongues freak me out desu

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>>35662320
They are pretty freaking. Feels weird when the lick you too.

>>35662312
i was planning on old school lad trish stratus chyna. would have just ended up busting a nut on normal diva pics probably

Sunshine lads.

>>35662416
and to celebrate we can have some happy bouncy music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7F6PY07ub0&list=FLxSQ3qGfYHta2-IDUrYdSCQ&index=1

>>35662416
Pissing with rain here. Pretty cold too.

>sticky rib pot noodle

think im in heaven desu lads

How do you make friends?

If i don't make some friends and get out of this fucking disgusting, moldy, damp, smelly disgusting house within the next 2 months I'm going to kill myself

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>>35662529
>this fucking disgusting, moldy, damp, smelly disgusting house

I know that house feel anon

Should I play Nier with english or japanese voice acting?

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>See dog tied up outside shop
>Go to stroke it
>Owner dashes out and starts yelling at me

I don't know if he thought I was going to steal it or if it was a biter. I feel like a right tosser now, lads.

>>35662555
>carpets are black and damp, they were white when first bought
>curtains literally drip at times
>entire bedroom walls are black and sticky to the touch

i could go on about the spider and insect infestation, etc but ill spare you the feels you already know, anon

most days i can afford it i just get high and try to forget about my surroundings

>>35662667
Nah he was a twat mate.

>>35662667

Haha that's happened to me before, the dog started going mental and barking so the owner thought I was attacking it.

just put jacket tata in oven lads beens cheese and garlic butter me thinks lads

>>35662667
Should have went mental at him asking him, WHY TAKE A FUCKING DOG OUT IF YOU'RE JUST GONNA TIE THE FUCKING THING UP.

>>35662760
why are you acting like its 1860

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>>35662778
>Not taking your dog for a walk and tying him outside the corner shop on the way back home to grab some sweeties and crisps

Get a load of this non-multitasker.

Wish i had a dog desu.

>>35662800
>having to tie up your dog at all

shit owner detected, learn how to train your dog

>>35662800
>having a small dog that can be tied up without causing issues
>not owning a great dane/doberman

That's a big dog (for you)

>>35662821
>Wanting it to get nicked by chavs

>>35662835
>not having a dog tough enough to fight off a tribe of chavs

>>35662783
why arent you sucking my fat cock you cunt twat dickhead arse

>>35662821
>not tying up your gf outside and having the dog guard her.