>text oneitis >post results DO IT, I BELIEVE IN YOU /r9k/

>>35647150
I don't have her number you fucking normalfag
In fact, I don't even know her name

Tfw so detached from human contact don't even remember having a oneitus

>>35647150
If pic related is you, you've literally already fucked it up within two texts. Holy fucking kek.

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>>35647203
what do you mean by that, what did I do wrong i just said hi

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>>35647187
same here

oreganilli

>>35647233
>"So what are you doing?"
you might as well have just told her you don't have anything interesting going on in your life, and that you like her. it shows you have nothing to talk about, which is never good. plus you started and immediately wanted to know about HER, this makes you come off as desperate.
although take what I say with a grain of salt, I'm a paranoid schizo who's socially retarded.

>>35647366
>shows you have nothing to talk about, which is never good
This is definitely true. Conversation can't last long if someone doesn't carry it.
>immediately wanted to know about HER
Bit of a grey area here. People fucking LOVE talking about themselves, so giving them an outlet to do so is most of the time a safe bet.

Make it a little more specific though.

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>>35647150
Was thinking about asking her out for a while. Did I fuck up?

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>>35647617
>'did you call anyone else'

you're fucked bro you are in the friendzone

>>35647617
No Anon. Gratz. You did good

>>35647617

"Did you call anyone else?"

Ouch. What an obvious avoid-a-date question.

>>35647150
what a shitty reply lmfao

should've just said 'whats up?

not 'so what are you doing?'

a 'whatcha upto?'
would be way less creepy lmao>>35647366
this lmao

>>35647617
She clearly doesn't realise what you're asking.
>did you ask anyone else?
>it'd be a little weird just us, people might think we're on a "date" or something teehee
might as well kys now 2bh family

>>35647617
Holy hell man why'd you ask over text?

>>35647684
>>35647656
>>35647693
fucking robots. she wants to make sure this is something special between them and not another random group gathring

k

you will let me know when you start fucking someone again wont you?
don't deprive me of the reeeees

>>35647731
haha, yes of course
why didn't I realise this
hahahahha

>>35647731

Autism speekes

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>>35647656
>>35647666
>>35647684
>>35647693
>>35647721
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FUCKING ETHAN

/b/tard here what is a oneitis?

>>35647617
No, you didn't.

Her response was either
a) to establish whether or not it was a date
or
b) she could tell you wanted a date and she was trying to give you an out instead of a hard reject

Either way, you did the best possible thing and restated your intentions, now she has to give you a clear answer about whether or not she is interested

Good work anon

>>35647150
assuming i would have enough contact with her to get her number
FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

>>35647693
>She clearly doesn't realise what you're asking.
No, she does. That's why she asked about bringing other people.

>>35647757
Fucking Ethan man. Sounds like a dick.

>>35647761
A girl you obsess over but have little no no chance of getting with.

>>35647761
>oneitis
all you have to do is google, faggot

>>35647150
I already asked my oneitis out last week and posted the results, over a 100 anons called me beta and laughed. Never again.

>>35647757
Damn bro feels bad. The trick is to be friends with her friends, then have them all ditch when y'all go to see the movie so it is just you two.

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>>35647731
fuck off with your shitty omniscient advice faggot you dont know half as much as you think you do

>>35647757
Yes, I'm sure Ethan actually really wants to see this and she isn't just giving as many hints as possible for you to back off

>>35647563
Not the same guy, but he's on to something. Don't start a conversation for the sake of starting a conversation, or hoping she has something interesting to say. You should be going into it with a handful of interesting topics ready Ideally you'd make the first line more than just "hey", give it content that's not about the weather, what you had for dinner or "how are you?".

As for people loving to talk about themselves, spot on, they do, there's no need to openly invite them to do it. If anything, asking like that would have the inverse effect, similar to lines like "you can tell me anything" or "you can trust me". If she wants to talk to you about herself, trust me, she will.

I can't come up with any cookie cutter lines that will always work, you'll have to know the bare minimum about her and make something up if you need. Something that piques her interest and makes her want to hear more.

I'll just share the last text she sent me;
>Please just message me and let me know you're alive I miss you and I hope you're ok

>>35647757

She definitely knows you were trying to ask her out, but she wanted to reject you politely while playing unaware.
Just back off and keep being friends, she isn't interested.

Or if you wanna be super alpha you can just keep hitting on her, but more aggressively because now youre operating under the assumption that she already knows youre interested

>>35647757
shiiiiiiiiiit
thats cold blooded

>>35647757
fucking lol sorry man best to pull out now and cut contact

>>35647757
GET cucked you loser.

>>35647823
Yeah. I really don't. I was wrong. Fucking woman. My advice was same as others man except different line of thinking. Calm down.

>>35647757
Why did you blur out one name but not Ethan?

>>35647898
Because Ethan is absolutely generic and the other name is unique, duh.

>>35647898
Because he's a cunt

Not really, I'm just jealous

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>>35647150
oh well its not like i'd have any chance to get laid anyways haha

>>35647150
>have oneitis
I don't get it desu. I have never found a grill that doesn't think like any other normie.

>>35647956
Why bro Ethan is in the same boat you are. He's seeing the movie with y'all as a group.

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>>35647187
>>35647244
>fall in love with a girl
>don't even know her name
>unironically being a love at first sight faggot

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Did I do ok guys?

>>35647757
HAHAHAHAHA
Life truly is pain.

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>>35647961
>i didnt fuck all if them

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>>35647757
lmao you got fucking dropped son

>>35648048
I don't see anything wrong. you did good

>>35648048
If I were to do this.

>offer bungee jumping to scare her into going to the movies
>she wants to go bungee jumping
>i pussy out
>she talks shit to her female friends about me

>>35647961
she's lying man
they always lie about this
always
expect at least two or three more

>>35647187
>>35647244
delete

it's too bad a feel

>>35647834
>Please just message me and let me know you're alive I miss you and I hope you're ok
u wot m8

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Been talking to her for a while now but I think I'm friend zoned robots.

>>35648098
>she wants to go bungee jumping
>i pussy out
You'd obviously suggest something you have the balls to go through with. If you go bungee jumping for a first date you can pretty much instantly change your relationship status to engaged on normiebook.

>>35648048
Nice, now work on getting off text and move 95% of your communication to talking on the phone

>>35648079
>>35648052
>>35647956
>>35647858
>>35647855
>>35647849
>>35647841
>>35647827
>>35647815
>>35647778
You guys are idiots, this is OP's chance to show her he's socially able in a group setting.

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>>35647757
RIP anon, atleast you tried

>>35648177
If he's anything like the rest of us he's fucked.

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>tfw too ugly to ask a girl out

>>35648130
you are both cringeworthy.

>>35648194
pretty much.
just take the hint, and walk away.

>>35648048
>asking a girl out over text
>she says yes

fuck off chad

>>35648048

>haha!
>hi!
>you're on!

Fake

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>>35648165
is this real advice? do people actually do this these days?

>>35647150
We haven't talked since May 2016, I think she's done with me but I'll probably text her soon.

>>35648270
Do non-Chads have better chances irl/over phone than they would text?

>>35648270
>asking a girl out over text
That's absolutely normal if you don't see each other casually. It's 2017, nobody fucking calls anyone anymore.

>>35648271
not fake friend. If you were more attractive you could get these results too

>>35647366

you're not socially retarded, society is retarded and you're normal. this dude's texts are funny as fuck, and that he fucked it up in two texts is %100 fact

>>35648330
Just text her my dude.

>>35648130
Doesn't looks like that to me. She's actually joking with you. If she wasn't interested, she'd be giving one liners.

>>35647617

>Did you ask anyone else.

No interest confirmed. Don't be the kind of beta that stays friends after getting shot down.

I lost feelings for what used to be my oneitis a while ago.

Does that mean I just don't message anyone or I message the girl I kinda like but don't actually want to date/fuck? We've been friends since a few years ago, she was punk as fuck back then but moved into being a theater kid. She actively tries to talk to me and continue conversation, last night she asked if I'd seen the Beauty And The Beast remake because she had "so many opinions" about it and she knows I'm obsessed with film.

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>>35648373

I texted a girl, who told a friend, who told me, that she thought I was cute. She was visibly nervous the last time I was around her.

I said she should tell me next time she and her friends are hanging out so I could join. I think going straight for a date would be a little awkward, and besides I'd like to see her friends, I think they're all pretty cool. Ffs, they all seem really into me for no discernible reason and even gave me their snaps without my asking.

I see them together in their snaps and feel pretty cucked. Is she just nervous about telling me or should I just text her again? I don't want to look like a desperate fuck.

>>35648524
You have to make the first move my man. Be bold and confident. If you wait too long she will lose interest and end up fucking ultrachad

>>35647150
We used to date, and our last interaction was her giving me a hug and promising to keep in touch. That was 18 months ago

>>35648177
This is OP's chance to get blown off with the "I just see us as friends, we all went to see the movie together as friends" routine if he tries to get her in a 1-on-1 setting again

>>35648617

Which is part of why he should just cut contact.

>>35648563

I already made the first move. Going in again would look pretty fucking desperate.

I'm probably going to just wait a week to see if she tells me. I have no money for a date til friday anyways.

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>>35648675
What was your first move? If it was the "tell me the next time you guys are hanging" out thing you should try again mate

>>35647150
The last 4 times we texted were initiated by her, and she kept the conversation going when I replied with oneliners. It's almost been 2 months since the last time we texted.

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>work with a shy qt at McDonald's
>she rarely speaks to me or anyone else for that matter
>one day she texts me asking me to cover for her shift
>we never traded numbers so I assumed she randomly picked mine out of an employee directory
>I apologize and say no
>later realize she might have picked my name on purpose as a sly way to give me her number

Am I just being delusional?

I quit that job months ago and we had maybe one face to face conversation together.

>>35648675
"Can I hang out with your friends" isn't much of a first move, don't give a fuck about looking desperate and actually ask her to hang out with *you* and you alone. If that doesn't work out at least you actually made an attempt, and can move on

>>35648719

Like I said I'm a broke ass bitch anyways, and I think a housedate would be too strong right now.

I will when I get my paycheck.

Do you mind if I save this image?

>>35648675
>I already made the first move

>can I please hang out with you and your friends
>move
Jesus Christ anon, that's bad even by /r9k/ standards.

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>>35648495
Well it's already begun

Like I said I don't necessarily want to fuck her but it's nice keeping in contact with a girl.

>>35647617

Fake texting site faggot

>>35648757

No, her establishing contact with you to ask you to cover her shift would at most be her trying to get you to think she had interest to get you to do shit for her.

>>35648788
do what you gotta do man. But just sayin it wont be desperate to ask for an official date and be clear about it.

and of course save it, its all yours my friend

>>35648757
id say "shouldve gone for it , always go for it dont live in regret blah blah blah" but fuck it most of the time its not worth even trying women are on a whole other level of coldness

>>35647757
At least you can get her out of your mind now anon. Sorry.

>>35648862
You should have just started off asking if she wanted to go with you, you fool

>>35649016
Oh yeah...shit, I completely forgot.

I actually have no idea where she is right now, come to think of it. She was near me for Spring Break but she might be back at college by now

>>35647150
Well OP? Did she respond yet?

>>35647807
You may be a beta but you did what many betas here could never do

I don't have a oneitis and Idk why anybody would. Why would I waste my time and energy keeping in contact with someone who doesn't want to be my gf

>>35649146
It's just that most of the girls robots seem to fall over for are normies, I don't understand.

>>35647807
You probably just said some really simpering beta shit that hardly constituted as "asking someone out," got shot down and posted it confused at what went wrong

>>35648048
The next what

THE NEXT WHAT

>>35647617
This is clearly fake though...

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cont'd

oregano original

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>>35649343
What did she mean by this? I'm not sure if she sees me as a friend or if I actually have a chance. How do I respond to that?

>>35649366
>sleep at her place

GO IN

>>35649366
>"That's an idea"
If you're the type of cancer that uses emojis put a good old flirty one on the end of that and see what she does. I think you're in a good place right now but don't fuck it up

>>35649366
>What did she mean by this?
You know what she meant by this. Respond with "do you have netflix?"

>>35649366
she wants to fuck you fucking idiot do it trust me

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>>35647757
You did your best

>>35649366
>"or you could sleep at my place"
DO IT NOW'S YOUR CHANCE DON'T FUCK UP

>>35649366
FfffffUCK HER

STICK YOUR PENIS IN HER

DO IT BITCH

>>35647757
Anon u might still have a chance
Is the crossed out name also a girl?

>>35649343
>>35649366
You're gonna make it broseph

>Implying 'm not so far gone that I don't even have a oneitis

It's too late for me

>>35647150
My oneitis is asleep next to me. We're married now. My struggle was over long ago.

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>>35647150
>fall in love with short red head white qt
>she goes through the trouble of initiating first
>hit it off great
>never talk to her again


Anyone else know this feel

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>>35649366
>You think too much
not sure what she meant, but well lads, it's on

Robots of r9k

Its time to rise up and take our board back

Flood the streets of r9k with our forces, drive the normies back to where they came.

Join us brothers.


The streets have to run red with the blood of normalfags, no mercy

>>35647153

>>35647153

>>35647153

>>35647153

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>8th grade, some qt constantly trying to talk to me
>one day she looks me in the eyes, gives me this heart melting smile and gently says "I like you"
>thrown way off guard, didn't know how to respond and don't remember how I did
>all I remember is that she constantly tried to flirt with me after that
>slowly realize I like her too
>going through careless cool kid phase so naturally I say nothing to her
>school dance, we're both there but I don't ask her to dance because again, socially awkward kid trying to be cool
>countless antics like this occur, me pretending to ignore her but desperately wanting her to know how I feel
>highschool begins and I transfer to a different school because reasons
>I told her nothing about it
>I must have broken her heart because first day of new school year she leaves a post on my normiebook asking where I've gone
>too nervous to reply so I don't
>9 years later I'm still a khv
>she was the only girl that I ever had a chance with
>mfw I still have her number

>>35649771
Aw fuck dude, you blew it.

>>35649771
does her chat have the same pepe background as yours? please tell me only you are that autistic.
well done though.

>>35649771
>"you think to much"
what did she mean by this?

>>35647150
The only girl's number on my phone is my Chad brothers gf. I don't have an oneitis.

>>35649771
Alright anon you've sealed the deal. I'm proud of you

As for "you think too much", she knows EXACTLY what you're implying by what you said but she hasn't out-and-out rejected the possibility. You still have a chance, stick it in her pussy.

>>35649771
She meant you should relax, just be yourself, and stop trying to act like someone else, because she likes the person that you are.

Wow, what a fucking revelation, robots! Being yourself fucking works! Crazy shit right? Faggots

>>35647757
Beg for sloppy seconds

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I've tried texting mine 3 times for about a week after staying up until 5AM talking to her last week. She just won't talk to me anymore.

>>35647757
Fuck that is one hell of cold response.

Take the hint and forget her, she isn't worth your time anyway.

Brothers of r9k
It is Day 5 of the Rebellion.

Roasties and Normalfags have grasped power within our beloved board, and they will hold on to this 'till their demise.
We must stand united against a common threat.

This board, was started as an epitome of creativity and original content, and spiraled into a hub for lost souls, shunned, and despised by society.

We have suffered, yet we now have a place to hold dear and near.
Yet, now, disgusting whores and degenerates have found that this is a good place to exploit individuals vulnerable, individuals who have never felt wanted, and by posing as those seeking to help us, these degenerates come to exploit us for our attention, and our naive behaviors.

We will NOT stand for this.

Our primary enemy is the ""fembot"".
Fembots do NOT exist.
Women have never suffered nor experienced as much pain as we have, ever.
They were born into a society that upheld them, and considered them as the key focus.
They were pampered and babied by this world.

They know not of what true suffering is.
>Destroy fembot posts.
>Derail fembot threads.
>Defend /r9k/.
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>35647153

>>35647153

>>35647153

>>35647153

>>35649771
>You think too much
yeah she doesn't want you

I don't have her number and she got a boyfriend last thursday ;_;

>>35647150
>having females in your contacts that arent blood related
god damn fucking normalshits neck yourselves you filthy pieces of dog shit

>>35647778
Why? Based on his name alone?

>>35647757
haha literally this >>35647656 is right after you posted first screenshot

what the fuck did you expect when she asked 'did you invite anyone else'

christ

>>35647150
>having a real oneitis
shiggy

>>35648313
No, talk in person. Try to mostly text to meet up. Don't talk over phone unless she calls or it's important. Don't listen to half these spergs.

Everytime I start deluding myself I might have had a chance with my oneitis one of these threads clears it up real fast.

>>35649771
>well that would be something

That was a pretty autistic response but could've been worse desu. Don't drink TOO much that you start doing stupid shit and you should be fine.

>>35649771

Post face.

I want to know if you're chad.

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>>35647150
Welp i did as you told me too...

Fuck

I got drunk Friday and poured my heart out to my oneitis, should have screenshotted it but I deleted the entire convo and her contact out of my phone because I was so ashamed

My life is a cringe highlight reel

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REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


GET OUT NORMIE SCUM

OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT


>>35647153

>>35647153


>>35647153


>>35647153

>>35649847
she meant: "i'm retarded and can't keep up with the extremely basic, thoughtless conversation we're having here." or she meant, "you're slightly sub-normal, le xD"

>>35649961
>>35650565
haha chill dudes
we're not going anywhere

>>35647807
Are you the anon that asked out the bi girl? If you are, ULTRA KEK

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>>35649876
>being yourself fucking works!
it doesn't if you're anything like me :(

you don't even know what it means to feel.

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Feels good oil

Diidnt even have to text first

I d t have a oneitis right now, can't day I'm attracted to any of the women I know right now actually.

>>35650498
This makes me really sad
orangello

>>35650498
Hey bitch, not original

>>35650455
Won't post face but I'm chubby and I have no jawline. I'd rate my face 7/10 at best. I'm white though.

>>35649771
You mightve blew it with the emoji anon. Be more subtle, I would've said what that other anon said something like "depends, do you have Netflix? " if you're going to use a goddamn emoji

>>35647617
>that fake text conversation, can tell cause graphics look like shit
>all the retards falling for it

>>35650818
I meant the emoji that's winking and sticking it's tongue out

>>35647188
Holy fuck I remember those days I'd just to remember what it feels like to be completely infatuated with someone

>>35648130
You sound like a liberal faggot.
>oregano

I can't believe you pathetic fucking faggots actually made a thread like this on a Sunday.

>>35647617
Congrats anon you're not one of us anymore

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Well there goes my Chad attempt

>>35647757
Assuming this is real, if I were you Anon I would agree to go, and then a few minutes after go "Oh I forgot, I have plans that day already, sorry! :(" So it seems like you were ok with going as friends but you actually have other friends that matter more

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>>35650959
kek you actually have to be attractive for that to work friendo

>implying i have his number
>implying i have his name
>implying i have reasonable access to seeing him anymore

>>35647150
w-what if I don't have a oneitis?


this comment is probably not originalo

>>35650959
>idk I'm autistic
I'm proud of you man

>>35649122
Text her again asking if she is free. If on spring break just offer to wait until she gets back.

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>>35650959
don't talk to instagram thots man
they're heartless wenches
i hope you like the taste of a buckshot 12 gauge
i can see it in your future

>>35650959
Kek, you're fucking dumb af if you actually thought that would work, it rarely works for Chad so why in the fuck would you think it would work for a robot?

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>>35650959
well you tried

>>35650959
the first message was obviously retarded but "idk i'm autistic" is literally the best possible thing you could have followed it up with

39 tells me what I text my oneitis

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>>35650959
Lol you really just attempted that on Stacy and expected her to get wet for you?

>>35651051
Can we go out sometime? I promise I won't be weird!

>>35651051
idk i'm autistic

>>35651061
I knew she wouldnt go for me so I might as well act retarded

>>35651051
I want to suck the shit out of your dainty asshole

>>35651051
Have you ever seen "The Greatest Story Never Told"? Check it out!

>>35651051
hello mlady would you like the honor of taking my virginity?

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>>35650959
>idk im autistic
I love you

>>35651051
>>35651130
reroll that is very original

>>35651051
hi i like you, wanna go out with me?

>>35651110
originally rolling in an original manner

>>35651051
idk im autistic


reroll

>>35648130
go in for the kill, if she says no, you were just gonna waste your time

>>35651169
i got 69 thats better than 39 do this one

Why would I have a phone or phone numbers, this seems like a normie thread to me, sage

>>35651206
>phone
>normie

lol

>>35649366
Man, that's so difficult, too much too think
better if u pussy now and dont drop teh spaggetho

i shouldnt because she's sleeping right now :3

>>35651232
I am 30 and never owned a phone, grow up normie

>>35650959
Jesus H Christ anon. Clear your notifications

>>35649771
She's messing with you dude. she doesnt want to seem like a ho.

You're in dude.

>>35651203
a 69 and then a 3 that's basically 39 cmon

>>35649235
>"Wanna have lunch on Friday"
She asked if it was a date and I said yes. In the thread I just posted her rejection so I looked worse than I think I was. Most anons thought I wrote a confession.

>>35650959
hey, ya did it though

>>35651279
damn i'm really close

>>35651051
There is something I have been having a hard time telling people. I think I might be gay.

>>35650959
post response
orignianl comeneto

>>35651051
Tell her you've been thinking about making her asshole quiver

>>35651102
I can respect you for that anon

this is a thread for phone having normies only, please leave normes.

>>35647757
KEKED BY ETHAN HOLY KEK

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">wyd today?s" are common

or they'll text me like
"I want to see you!!
I miss you!"

>>35649771
>starting a sentence with "well"
>"can't wait"
Holy fuck man. Either you blew it or she must have really low self esteem

>>35651051
I'm going to kill myself on Friday, I've never been on a date can we have lunch tomorrow?

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>>35651051
Check hem

>>35651051
I wanna sex you up

Origami

>>35648211
this.
also the robot can go fuck off reieipofhueee

>>35651051
Check out this neat-o website I found:
boards.4chan.org/r9k

>>35651428
kek rolling for this originally

>>35651051
Hey bb u wan sum fuk?

orig

>>35651428
Rolling for this original origami

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>>35650959
>>35650498
>>35648862
>>35648130
>>35647961
>>35647757
>>35647617
>>35647150

Gore threads are against the rules.

im going to text her in a few im going all in guys

>>35651051
Can you shit in my mouth

>>35651466
Rolling for this original oregano flavour

>>35651412
You are a dunce. That anon is doing really well here. Unless he does something majority autistic a few mild sounding texts are not going to ruin his chances.

>>35651428
Feels weird that two people rerolled for me but rerollin cmon its in popular demand

>>35651051
ULYSSES BY JAMES JOYCE!

>>35651428
>>35651579
A third anon is rerolling for this

>>35651428
in a quite original matter i will reroll
>>35651051

>>35651051
navy seals copy pasta

>>35649796
>should've danced with her at the middle school dance
DON'T FALL FOR THIS ONE BROS
One of my most cringey memories of my youth is when I asked this girl 4 different times to dance with me at the school dance and got rejected in front of all my friends each time. This was after I made her laugh her ass off every day for about 2 months straight beforehand, all the signals were there, I wasn't being autistic and overestimating this the way she looked me in the eyes, the way she'd touch me, and she still just straight up destroyed me.

Literally one of the saddest nights of my life.

>>35647150
>tfw last time I texted my oneitis was almost 2 years ago
>messaged her on fb too but she started ignoring me there too

>>35651061
>outie bellybutton
D R O P P E D

>>35651051
"daddy ive missed your dick ever since last night, maybe you can come by again tonight and make your little buttslut happy ;)?"
"oh fuck wrong number"

>>35651051
>>35651428
I like this one

Reroll

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I'm slowly indoctrinating my former oneitis into the joys of crosswords.

I feel like a geriatric.

>>35651051
Ask her in a normal way to go on a hike with you.

>>35647150
How do people not see this is fake
This is nothing like the iPhone layout
Pathetic

>>35651051
Booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin' everywhere
Booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin' everywhere
Booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin' everywhere
Rockin' everywhere, rockin' everywhere

I found you Ms. New Booty
Get it together and bring it back to me
Hit the playas club for about month or 2
Put his hand on it then see what it do

I found you Ms. New Booty
Get it together and bring it back to me
Hit the playas club for about month or 2
Put his hand on it then see what it do

Get it ripe, get it right, get it tight

Get it ripe, get it right, get it tight

Get it ripe, get it right, get it tight

Get it ripe, get it right, get it tight

Girl I don't need you, but you need me
Take it off, let if flop, shake it freely
And I don't tell stories, I let em tell theyself
And you ain't gotta sell sex, girl, it sells itself, like nothing else
Yeah I'm a country boy, but that big city bottom fill me up with joy

Ain't life grand (life's grand) livin up daddy
Here go da whisper song, baby this is us ready?
Put it on me enthusiastically, what ever it is that you do, you do it admirably
And I ain't choose it, that thang chose me
Its Bubba and Ying Yang, all the way in this thang

Booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin' everywhere
Booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin' everywhere
Booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin' everywhere
Rockin' everywhere, rockin' everywhere

I found you Ms. New Booty
Get it together and bring it back to me
Hit the playas club for about month or 2
Put his hand on it then see what it do

I found you Ms. New Booty
Get it together and bring it back to me
Hit the playas club for about month or 2
Put his hand on it then see what it do

Get it ripe, get it right, get it tight

Get it ripe, get it right, get it tight

Get it ripe, get it right, get it tight

Get it ripe, get it right, get it tight

>>35651798
rerolling orangina

>>35651051
My friend told me he likes you

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>>35647617
Fuck she asked for more people to come.

>>35651798
oregano flavoured reroll

>>35651755
Dubs confirm how deep into the friendzone you are

>>35651527
Rolling for dis

Orgasmatron

>>35651860
I said former for a reason, she's like a distant sister to me, no more, no less.

>>35650980
That's so fucking obvious, no one would believe that.

>>35651051
You're the ROACH that crawls in other boys' CREVICES you fucking NEMATODE

>>35651527
Roll
Organismo

>>35647150
she never responds this late anyway, why should I?

>>35651798
Rawlling
.org

>>35651527
Rollmao
Oregano cheese pizza

>>35647150
>having a oneitis
>having any girl's phone number
What kind of normalfaggotry is this?

>>35651901
>distant sister
>friendzone

How does this challenge my original point

>>35651798
This
Orgasmic

>>35651798
rerolling by popular demand

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Did I mess up familioos?

>>35651915
this
roll for that one

>>35651428
Reroll, seems funny and good.

>>35651051
You're to meet me at the McDonald's closest to the Walmart, I'm going to be there at 2:27, you're to be there at 2:31 and no a second later or sooner. Sit at the chair closest to the Playpen and bring the stuff in a twisty tie sealed plastic bag or don't waste my time by coming. This is your one chance, do not disappoint me.

>>35651994
Friendzone implies I want to get out.

>>35651051
Hey, what's up? Wanna hang out sometime?

>>35649366
GREEN LIGHT GREEN LIGHT GREEN LIGHT

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>>35651051
i want to sniff your farts

>>35652060
A U T I S M.

Jesus, do you think that's an actually good one?

>>35652109
Fuck off, it's better than most other suggestions. What would you have him say?

>>35652104
she looks like a monkey with a jaw problem

>>35650959
>when you try to be chad and it backfires horribly

>>35651051
Just got done working out, pretty hungry, you up for some in n out?

>>35651915
roll for this! this here!

>>35651428
Reroll, this is what the people want

>>35652049
The only thing the word 'friendzone' implies is the nature of your relationship

>>35652240
That's stupid or else everyone with friends would be in the friendzone.

>>35651051
I'm into hardcore scat midget wrestling. What about you?

>>35648145
Hi. I don't know anything. Why would it make him engaged on normiebook?

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I can try messaging her but it's past midnight and I'm not a english speaker, don't know if it will work

>>35652272
>everyone with friends would be in the friendzone

Of course, that's how words work, ya dolt

How the fuck would I get her number? Honestly if you have your crush's phone number you're way further than most of us will ever be.

this is the anon that'll text his oneitis if someone rollls a 39, it would be better if the text was on spanish, but if not, english will do

>>35652409
text the link to this post

>>35652409
hola chica i think trump es un grande presidente taco taco burrito

>>35651051
Take the number of people you've slept with. Now add 1. I'll see you tomorrow *cool sunglasses guy emoji*

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>>35647150
I don't have a oneitis right now
I found a shy, introverted qt in one of my classes last semester and got her phone number, but she turned out to be a lesbian
We're friends now, and I'm pretty sure I'm the only person she talks to on campus

>>35651428

>>35651527


Rolling for one of these, OP can pick

haha op i saw you on omegle

>>35652409
Te voy a hacer picadillo!

>>35652409
Can I wear a Trump mask while I fuck you and yell "OUT OUT OUT OUT"?

>>35652152
Anything specific. Ask her to a local coffee shop, or something based on a common interest you both have. Anything but "hurr durr wanna go out?" This is why advice threads dont work. Successful dates are based on information you know about the other person.

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>>35651007
You misunderstand: if she's on spring break that means she's more liable to be near me.

Also look at that, I completely fucked up.

"Tag along", the fuck was I thinking?

>>35652402
No anon, being in the bonezone also doesn't mean you're surrounded by skeletons (technically a skeleton is surrounded by you)

>>35651428
Rerolling this. Good stuff

>>35652553
Yeah you fucked up and ended up coming across as both tight-assed and condescending.

>>35652553
Also, you asked her out expecting her to drop everything that night and go with you. Should have given her at least a couple days of notice.

>>35652696
thats what alphas do dummy

>>35652553
>"Would be awesome if you could tag along"
Tag along shouldn't have happened, but you know this.
"Would be awesome" seems beta. You haven't actually asked her to come, because you're scared of her rejecting you.

>"if you're not already back at school"
You look beta by giving her an excuse to not go, as you're scared of her rejecting you bluntly without an excuse.

>>35652409
Me voy a matar el viernes. Nunca he estado en una cita, quieres salir manana?

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>>35647150
>oneitis
Is there a more normalfag-tier affliction?

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>>35652666
Ah well. Shit.

I do want to talk about it with someone though (never able to talk with people about movies after I see them) and she actually does want to hear my opinion on it so I still have that.

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>>35649771
>don't drink too much
>b-but that's what booze is for

>>35652711
No, it isn't. That's what robots do because they think chads do it and they get rejected.

>>35647617
>text message
>serif font
It's not gonna happen bro

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>>35652795
kek

oreganal onegai

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>>35647150
My Oneitis blocked me months ago
I have no Oneitis anymore, nor do I have anyone that I would want to date

>>35652743
I'll be frank, I was just looking to see if I can see it with someone. I had no clue if she was in town so I figured y'know why not.

I don't want to be all sour grapes about it but I genuinely was curious if she was A) in town and B) free to see a movie tomorrow. If she wasn't that's fine by me. Like I said this wasn't a date thing.

She still hasn't responded by the way.

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A true robot don't send text to girls fucking normal fags get out

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>35651428
rolling for this orignails comenent

>>35652902
>My Oneitis blocked me months ago
so?

>Found my oneitis at 15
>Spoke to her for maybe a month
>Didn't speak to her or see her for ~4 years
>See her 1-2 times a year, and play LoL with her every few weeks
For 90% of the nights since I was 15, I've hugged my pillow pretending it's her

She's been a big part of my life (despite not being in my life) for so long now, I don't think I'll ever stop having casual internal dialogue with her or be able to sleep without hugging her.

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lol @ my life

>>35651428
roolly roll rol

>>35653024
>Alexa

Nice try Garrett, we know it's you

>>35653024
Never open with just "hey". If you havent texted her, use your full name. And finally, OBVIOUSLY, open with an actual topic or interesting statement or question.

You failed on so many different levels.

>>35653024
RIP

move on

>>35653024
Why are they so cruel. You just told her who, the cunt

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>>35653024
oh rip anon sorry

>>35653121
she never had to go through any pain or suffer in her life. she literally has no idea what it feels like not being desired at any moment of the day

>>35653024
say you forgot if something was due. you will regret it if you don't

>>35653024
Insult her back or you're legitimately a cuck and might as well have her fuck you in the ass with a strap on while you're wearing girls clothes

>>35653151
Hooo boy anon, we sure are assuming a lot there.

>has a girls number
>is a robot

Chose one

>>35653024
"I just told you. Are you illiterate? Whatever, I wanted to ask about the homework but clearly you're the wrong person to ask"

>>35649366
>"or you could sleep at my place"

man being good looking must be a blessing.

>>35653220
FUCKING THIS SAVE YOURSELF

>>35653220
SAY IT SAY IT SAY IT SAY IT YOU CAN COME BACK FROM THIS!

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>>35653153
this!

aerial recovery! do it! dignity points can be saved!

>>35651428
rollin for this, I need to see this

>>35653220
he won't do it, he's comfortable in his position as the beta faggot who girls stomp on as they flock to chad

>>35653220
>>35653153
It's spring break, there is simply no way I can do that without even looking more retarded

>>35651428
THIS
fucking kek this needs to happen roll

>>35652553
Not the best texting anon, but I've been in your position before. I think you still have a chance.
>sadly I ended up habing to stay home.
You should have said, "Not yet. Do you want to go together?". That way you don't need the autistic tag along line.

Anyway, you still have a shot at this. If she can't come tomorrow, don't make it anymore akward. Ask her out again with more planning and straight forwardness another time.

>>35653220
Do it guy.
She's not interested and it will never go anywhere.
At least save face

>>35653280
think of something similar to ask her then

>>35651428
LETS DO IT BOYS RIGHT NOW

>>35653280
say you need someone else's number from her or something. seriously anything is better than leaving it

>>35653280
Say you were dared to ask out some sloot or something.
Jesus anon did you two ever talk

>>35651428
ok fuck last roll...would kek hard at this though lol

>>35653280
"I just told you. Are you illiterate? Whatever, I wanted to ask if you had______'s number but clearly you're the wrong person to ask"

>>35653295
It's all good m80.

Haven't seen her in years come to think of it.

>>35653329
No one would believe that. Almost as bad as saying you got hacked.

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>>35651051
i wanna feed u sushi and slap ur ass after a movie

>>35653280
>>35653359
Please do it man we are rooting for you

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best thread we've had in a while

>>35653359
There you go. That works too.

>>35652021
That's not even a conversation

Fucking hell why can't any of you faggots roll a 39, she's probably going to sleep soon

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>>35653440
Should have said dubs you dumb fuck

>>35649366
"That's an idea," no emoji shit, then "are you free next weekend?" or whatever.

>>35653280

>"Wait, is this ___________?"

>"No"

>"Oh, my bad"

THE ONLY WAY OP

THE ONLY WAY

>>35653440

Just do this orig
>>35651428

>>35651428
reroll bc tyhhiulihuhuijh

>>35651051
>>35651428
Reroll for originoli

I want to see this happen