A gaybot's thoughts on love and romance

>>35614031
To clear up one vague sentence, the person who tried to kill me was from a completely different situation. He flipped out when I turned him down after he thought he had me in the bag.

why do you believe you are worth getting what you desire when you are used goods?

>>35614031
>gaybot
>multiple people that love you and friends
>bot
No

>gay
>expect to find love

Pick one.

>>35614106
Because I'm a good person who would show that special someone levels of devotion they never knew were possible in this world.

>>35614298
so much devotion that you let your body get used up because of your inability to control your lust?

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If you never get into a committed relationship then how will you ever find someone who is perfect?

>>35614031
You're a fucking idiot basically, and you're chasing fairy tail feelings that don't exist.

>>35614031
no such thing as a soul mate buddy. I feel sorry for you

>And if I meet that person and the relationship ends, I'm going to stay single for the rest of my life after.

the problem is that you reject the possibility of meeting someone better, and that is completely and utterly irrational. Pretty retarded to tell you the truth

>>35614362
This. Seek the rope OP you will be disappointed for any number of reasons by this quest.
Take it from someone who has found their "soulmate" I didn't just KNOW I had to date her for a bit first. The numbers on your dumbass scale should be elastic so a 8 could be a 10 when you know them intimately. Unless you are too autistic in which case neck yourself

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>>35614349
Hello, fellow Compa anon.
I think I can judge pretty well because I do have a great deal of physical and emotional intimacy with those people. Actually, some of them think we're in a relationship until I tell them to hold their horses and that it's actually just a romantic friendship.

>>35614362
>>35614434
I'm still young. Maybe I will change my mind one day. I hope that rather than change my standards, though, I discover the kind of love I've dreamed about since I was six.

>>35614732
>romantic friendship

it sounds like you're afraid of committing to one person, and believe you deserve the very best people because your self-esteem is disproportionately high

Do you realize that this term you made up, "romantic friendship", is just an exit card? A way for you to weasel out of things?

Believe me, you will never, ever find love if you look for perfection in people and never put in the effort to understand them. And more importantly, if you did find the perfect guy, the guy who's exactly how you wanted, you would resent him shortly after. I could explain it to you if you're interested, but if you're close-minded I won't bother

>>35614872
I don't consider myself a closed-minded person at all. Please feel free to explain, I'm sincerely interested in what you think.

>>35614031
>I told him 'no'
>on a scale from 1 to 10, my love for him was a 9
Rly nigga, dafuq you doing?

>>35614907
This is going to sound douchey: it's a really basic concept in psychology, philosophy, even biology. The one thing that gives value to things (for humans) is disparity.

Easy example: Imagine if your life was very simple and a lot of your happiness depended on the temperature you lived in. If the temperature is always the same and comfortable, you're not going to care about temperature at all. If the temperature fluctuates but is always warm-ish, on some days you will think "I wish it were a little bit warmer". If half the time you're cold and half the time you're warm, you'll be pretty happy when it gets warm. If you were cold most of the time but warm occasionally, you would absolutely love those rare moments of comfort.

The same can be applied to a lot of things, if not everything. It's just the way our brains work. If you always get what you want and everything is perfect, your appreciation of that situation decreases with time.

In the case of a boyfriend, the only way to compensate for this is excitement: Everyone wants a partner who can keep things "fresh" and exciting. But every time they do, your expectations become harder and harder to meet, and your love of this person drops like a rock. The drop is so sharp that you even end up resenting them, blaming them for your unhappiness even when they've done nothing wrong.

This is what we see in most marriages, unfortunately. Every couple think they're "different" and that their love-life is more healthy/efficient than everyone else, until they're proven wrong.

>>35614031
So you're just a normalfag complaining that you you've found people who love you, they don't love you to your own satisfaction? Fuck off you entitled cunt.

>>35615170
you should only eat once a week then so your food tastes better

>>35615294
that would be replacing one extreme with another

or, you could do something more reasonable, like eating a few times a day, and not indulge in gluttony.

Does your favorite food taste as good if you eat it 100 times in a row?

>>35615366
>Does your favorite food taste as good if you eat it 100 times in a row?

yes because variations exist

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>>35615170
Thank you for taking the time to give such a thoughtful reply, anon. I really do appreciate it.

>>35615411
comparable to the example of warmness: "oh hey it's half a degree warmer, that's different, kind of."

Honestly., try it. try eating all the variations of your favorite food for as long as possible, try making it well or preparing it badly, adding all sorts of shit to it. You will still hate the fuck out of it. Even your body might reject it. You would feel immense relief once you break away. This is not something you can claim is different for you; it's one of the few things that all humanity has in common, given that no memory disorder is involved

>>35615519
i've been eating rice for 21 years now but ok

>>35615495
to give you the bottom line, you should be going for what you think is 7 or 8 out of ten. For all you know, the way you're treated in the actual relationship could make it a 10. There's no such thing as a "romantic friendship". There are close friendships, there's sex, but when you get into *romance*, you get into a romantic relationship.

And more importantly, don't try to quantify individuals this much. Love is not supposed to be so calculated and organised. The value of romance come from the fact that you don't have complete control over your partner.

>>35615549
you haven't been eating nothing but rice for 21 years. Even if you eat it in every meal, then it becomes more of a complement, like spices or a drink.

>>35614732
>22 years old
>I'm still young

>what is gay death

>>35615714
With real gays? A meme.

>>35614031
Soulmates don't exist. Souls don't exist. You're also deifying what is going to be a normal ass person. No one is divine. It's kinda like existentialism, there is no one person for you. However whoever you choose will ultimately be unique, because they are the only them, and is love not commitng to that unique choice, and accepting its flaws? What could possibly make someone so much different from everyone else that they are the only one?

Nobody's called out OP for being a heartbreaker slutbag? I wish that guy actually did kill him.

>>35615836
95% of gays are hedonists, OP included. They don't understand this concept because they are heartless.

>>35615871
I'm part of the 5%! pls be my bf

>>35615845
this. OP's a piece of shit. Even invented a term to weasel out of relationships

>>35615886
I would if I weren't a bad person

>>35615871
Why do you know so many gay people anon? ;)

>>35614031
you sound like a dramatic little faggot

fuck i hate my generation

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>>35615845
Hello. Sorry I offended you.
I think we all owe it to ourselves to wait for the person who will make you happiest. Love between two people who complete each other is the most amazing thing in the world. That's why I've rejected people even after having sex with them and relating to them in a way usually reserved for romantic partners - because I want the happiest future possible, with a man I love beyond comprehension or words. I won't disservice myself by settling for less. Nobody should.

>>35616110
you might be a bit of a sociopath. I'm sorry.

OP is just destined to be a slut like pretty much all other gays, will fuck around and never commit because it is exceptionally rare that a gay can show loyalty, even if he does fuck a partner he will cheat on them because it is in his nature, and he will find a way to rationalise it

have a nice day op, you know this is true

OP I'm in the same boat. I just want some cute short boy to love and protect

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>>35616217
The last few posts are making me feel bad... tell me about some of your own experiences so I don't feel alone here.

>>35616260
You should feel bad. You're hurting others because you pretend to connect with them, then throw them away like they mean nothing.

>>35616260
Well I was with a guy for seven years but he cheated on me with multiple people. It killed me inside and I decided to let him go and kick him out.

I tried to find love in all the wrong places after kicking him out. I felt like an empty shell and hated myself for doing hookups on grindr and scruff.

My ex got really sick and sadly passed away in October. During that time, I forgave him and took him to the hospital multiple times, bathed him, and ran his errands for him.

Those last months were the most satisfying and fulfilling time in our relationship. He apologized and wanted to get back together but I guess God had other things in store and took him from me.

I've been devastated for months but I've finally accepted it and want to be the best bf I can to someone if they'd give me a chance.

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>>35616327
Not exactly. What happens is that they withdraw once they discover that I'm never going to be their boyfriend. I don't actually throw away at all, actually. We can continue having sex and going on dates forever if they want (or at least until I get a boyfriend). Our relationship will never be anything more, but it will never be anything less, either.

>>35616399
What you're describing are supposed to be bonding experiences, yet they do nothing for you, do they? Bonding usually compensates for most, if not all the flaws in a partner. That's what attachment is.

If it's true that you can't bond with people, then that would make you fundamentally incapable of love, and it would mean you're only looking for someone to flatter your existence.

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>>35616535
No, they do a lot for me. They are very warm experiences (or very erotic, depending) and they leave me on cloud nine whenever I tuck myself in bed that night. I might be waiting for the perfect man for me, but that doesn't mean I don't harbor tender, loving feelings for those I share intimacy with along the way.

>>35616612
I know that feel. That's why I'm trying to find someone

This is all so confusing... my head hurts... am I really going down the right path...

>>35614031

im looking for that special someone. found her. she died shortly later after dating. never really got over it.

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>>35616679
I know how you feel man. I've been there.

>>35616612
Yes, yes it does mean exactly that. Love makes the perfect man out of an imperfect individual.

What you're describing is not attachment or bonding. To get attached to someone is to hold them above everyone else, and therefore to have no desire to get intimate with anyone else.

And if you "loved" any of them, you wouldn't let them get hurt either. You are 100% toying with them, and that's not ok

It sounds like you have no problem leading people on and you're indifferent to their pain.

>>35616834
Do you think that OP being a challenge makes people want him more, though?

>>35616912
Yes, and I think it also makes OP a narcissist. Or maybe he broke himself by getting too close to too many guys

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>>35616956
A narcissist? Isn't that someone who thinks they're better than everyone? I do love myself, but it's the healthy kind of love everyone should have for themselves. I don't think I'm all that great.

>>35617158
It can also mean someone who loves himself so much he feels entitled to things that he doesn't necessarily deserve. Like you.

Do you also need an explanation on what empathy is?

>>35617237
No, but an explanation on how I supposedly lack it would be nice.

>>35617261
Your actions speak for themselves. What you do is called "leading people on", and it hurts them terribly. Plus from the sound of it, you're indifferent to the pain you cause.

>>35614031
are you me op?

origini

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How wrong is going into a relationship knowing it won't last and I will break the other person's heart after a few months?
I'm just not ready to completely commit yet. ;_;

>>35617465
Why are you going in it? Why won't it last?

Are you both robots?

>>35617465
You shouldn't have to ask how wrong it is.

you sound like a cunt famicom