Sorry /r9/k/, but I have no where else to vent right now. Anyway;

Just move to another city. You learned what you need. Be an slut all you want or just settle for one, thats it, control your penis and dont sleep with relatives of your own friends, they dont want you as family. Meanwhile im here bitter because the low amount of friends that i had left in my life dont even care for me anymore. Feel like shit.

>>35607058
post some of your photos

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>>35607058
you should leave
fucking normalfaggot

>>35607058
>only chance to go out and socialize was being dragged by family and friends to gatherings to get drunk and fucked up
>dragged out by [...] friends

You were a normie from the start, you're no different now.

>>35607058

A holiday/trip is definitely a good idea uf you can afford it, you'll be able to take more pictures as well.

If shit doesnt get better you could always consider moving.

Try to keep relationships strong with the people you care for the most.

I'd love to see some pictures if you're okay with posting

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How old was she in this picture?

I would feel better about this if I was able to be in a relationship or at the very least talk to her before and after. We had so much fun talking back in 2009-2011. She would purposefully stay up all night just to skype and talk to me. I really miss sharing all kinds of pictures and paintings because she truly is the one girl that has ever TRULY inspired me to become a better artist with her art alone. She's amazing.

I still don't know if I will be able to go through with it. I just feel wrong thinking the things I do. I have never been one to think much of sexual desires.

Am I really going to have a threesome with her? I feel so fucking disgusting for wanting that... but god how I want it. It goes against everything that I believe and makes me into the kind of person that I hate. I value her so much more than just as a sexual obsession and that's why it makes me so disgusted with myself.

I know she has been through a lot. I know that men obsess over her and her bosses expect sexual favors from her. She's just so much more than that. Her husband was incredibly abusive and I can't imagine how hard that must have been. I also know she's not very empathetic. Her attitude towards me seemed cold and not understanding. Does she not know my life was designed to be miserable? That my "whiny" complaints of women getting my hopes up only to crush them wasnt just in my head but of design?

Oh Maria, are you reading this? What do you think of me?

Does she even ever think about me since all those years ago? Are they good thoughts?

I wouldn't say I "loved" her or that I am "obsessed" but I did think about her from time to time. She is insanely beautiful so it's surprising my art tends to look like her. Her facial features and hair are perfectly in line with my ideal girl. I liked how much I influenced her art too. I can see some of my principles in her older work and in her newer stuff again. The mermaids were obviously inspired by my work.

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>>35607439
6 years is a lot of time though.

When I talked to her she didn't tell me of her history of posting on the chans. About meeting up with boys and she told me she was a virgin. I don't know if she was an innocent but she was for sure a naive little girl. I was honest when I told her that I didn't just talk to her because of her beauty, but because I admired her work so very much.

She was the first person to ever paint me and when she made that birthday gift for me it was the only thing I received that year. That was the first time anyone painted anything for me as well. This is why it means so much to me. Renee made that portrait of me but she only did it because I reminded her it was my brithday. She wouldn't have gotten me anything if I didn't tell her that.

maria was the first girl I ever had an artistic connection with and the only girl I could even consider my equal. That's just... that means so much to me you guys have no fucking idea. I never thought it would be possible for me to find a girl that would inspire me with her art AND with her beauty but there she was... and she absolutely adored me at the time. Every day we would talk constantly for a dozen hours straight.

She kept me alive in 2010. When she got that job in Moscow I knew it would be the end. I knew she wouldn't be able to keep talking to me. Then in 2011 when she invited me to go to Russia after she had a dream of us getting married... I regret not making plans.

I can't say I know her at all anymore. I wonder how much of that little girl remains after all these years. I wonder how much the world has changed her, has beaten her down and if that spark I grew so fond of remains.

Russian feline, are you out there? Would you like to talk to me again? Would you like to meet me? Are you... really going to fulfill my fantasy?

I would give anything to know what's going on in your mind right now.

I want to know how you are, I want to listen to your tale.

Will I?

Please, let me free.

>>35607058
who is that? please

>>35607058
you are a rich normie, go awayyy

>>35607058
>enjoying yourself
>relationships
what the fuck do you want me to tell you?
go fucking fuck and enjoy your life you retard.
either settle down for one of the qts or keep slobbering all over.
good luck having a relationship with your reputation tho, move to another place or keep having fun where ur at.

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>>35607693
>>35607439
I also think...

If Russian feline and Kitty Bunny are going to be with me... is it as practice? Is their purpose to teach me how to be a better lover?

If all I can have them for is a single night I will be happy. To have either one of those girls at all would make me legendary, to have both of them at once though would make me a God.

I would want both of them for so much longer than that though. They have a lot to teach me. We have a lot of practicing to do.

I wish I knew where to set my expectations.

I wish I knew these two women more. I wish you would let me talk to them on skype.