General feels thread

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>>35605542
>Add qt grill on Snapchat
>Doesn't add me back but friends me on Normiebook
What does it mean lads
inb4 >social media

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>>35605542

Australian here. Just drinking some Wild Turkey 101 bourbon and had a cigarette in the backyard. It's Saturday afternoon.

I'm going to kill every non-white I see when the race war comes. I'm going to beat every brown person, Indians in particular, chink, gook, wog, arab, muslim I see to death with a baseball bat with my right wing death squad.

Every night I'll going to get into my Mad Max rampage car that's a 2001 holden commodore vx modified with wheel spikes, barbed wire and a giant spiked ram and run over every shitskin I see while my fashy goy white supremacist brothers sit outside the windows with nail spiked baseball bats and hit the heads of every Indian and Jew we see.

The streets will be flooded with the blood of non-whites.

Every day I'm just waiting for it.

Non-whites literally asked, begged, to be killed the moment they came flooding into white countries

>>35605576
What's her snap score? If it's high and she didn't add you there could be something fishy

>>35605633
I can't see her score because she didn't add me

>>35605542
>St. Patty's Day
>Friday Night
>complete and utter loneliness
At least the Jameson was cheap

>>35605581
can you elaborate? you sound interesting

>>35605542
>grounded
>over 18

What the fuck is wrong with you

>>35605576
Nothing.

Unrelated but if you ever get a girls ## and the first thing she does is add you on SC. Kiss that ass goodbye.

Pretty bad. Somehow spring break has amplified my desire to take my own life.

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>NEET
>Can't stop thinking of when I'll have to get a job again

I'm seriously thinking about becoming a hitchhiker rather than work.

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>very high
>watching "Jack and the Rave" (Samurai Jack)
I think I'm having a religious experience.

>>35605793
Once yo get paid then you'll immediately forget all the bullshit you have to endure. Unless you have a wife and kids and shit.

>>35606012

I've worked before and it was awful. No idea how wagecucks can do this shit for decades. I work for a few months and then take a month off. Now I have to go back and it's giving me anxiety.

>>35605542
Tiny bit lonely, just studying.

>got invited to party
>don't really want to go because I don't like parties
>plus someone who romantically humiliated me is there probably

Most of my friends live far away (and most of them live together, or with their spouses) and I'm living alone because I'm the only one chasing hire education. It's sort of depressing to think I'm studying while they're going hiking this weekend and I know I could be with them if I dropped out.

I have a crush on someone, and I thought it was going well, but now they're not talking to me. I keep wondering what's wrong with me that I have to chase relationships. Then I wonder if I'm just so lonely that I drastically overrate fucking texting because I'm not doing shit else.

>everytime I post about my crush I get no response
>fml

There's some financial and housing and family troubles, but what fucking ever.

Also listening to the Sondheim musical "Assassins", and I think it would emotionally appeal to a lot of robots. Especially the dialogue between John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvard Oswald.

>i want to send it to my friends but I've already double texted all of them

>>35605542
>grounded
>3:30
underageban lol

But nah, it's cool as long as you post good content OP. Not having internet bites but trust me, life gets a lot worse.

>>35605576
Probably nothing, because only desperate losers like ourselves agonize over every single interaction.

>>35605793
Well, as long as you're safe, why the fuck not?

>although maybe learn how to busk or something

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>>35605542
had an argument with my mum

realised she's legitimately evil and demonised\over exaggerated my dads actions to make me hate him. realised during the argument she was doing the same thing to be younger brother, who is 9 years younger than me. currently have my younger brother sleeping in my bed at half 5 in the morning whilst I shitpost on 4chan and jerk off about stories of girls being fucked by dogs.

all sorts of stuff, really

>>35606288
don't worry too much about your crush if you think you said something wrong or didn't say the ideal thing. other people's decisions have nothing to do with you. if she doesn't want to respond, that's her choice and it just means she's not worth it. trust me man, women just aren't worth it.

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>>35605542
>Get home from work at around 9
>Poor myself some vodka, mix with orange juice for a screw driver
>Mom sounds inebriated on phone with her stupid friend
>Sister had texted me earlier saying my mom was fucked up on drugs (klonopin)
>Notice that my mom put a huge fucking dent in the vodka she had me buy her yesterday, it's now over half gone and it was a huge bottle most of the OJ is gone too
>fall asleep for a few hours and wake up, missed texts from gf
>hear loud crashing sound, don't check
>hear another loud sound
>hear mom crying as she slowly walks up to bed
>get out of bed to check out what happened, find mom's slipper on the stairs. Think she probably fell down the stairs and fell over again downstairs due to being so out of it on klonopin
>mfw she probably was blackout and doesn't remember any of this in the morning


I'm glad I didn't go downstairs. I listened carefully after the second bang and heard her walking around. She's going through a divorce right now after 35 years of marriage. This is one of the reasons my dad decided to divorce her.

>>35605581
Wtf I love Australia now. I hate Indians too. Human trash

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>>35606575
I'm a girl and my crush is a guy.
Thanks for the sentiment, though. I'm not missing the forest for the trees.

>other people's decisions have nothing to do with you

I agree in theory, but it just seems so easy for everyone else. It's easy to despair and wonder what is wrong with you. It's easy to turn romantic love into the epitome of all your other rejections.

I guess it's because when we first started talking, it seemed easy for me for once. Now it isn't anymore. I just want an easy, anxiety-free interaction with someone. Can't tell if I have a realistic interpretation of their behavior, or if I'm just paranoid and deluded by self hatred and low expectations. I'm not sure what is worse.

I also tend to have crushes on people who are "easy targets", or people that most women would consider beneath them, so when I get rejected it's doubly humiliating.

Pic related. I should really call my parents.

>>35606491
Jesus. I had an abusive mum, too. It's weird. She's very nice to me because I toe the line, but I know that at a moment's notice I could be like my sister - getting beat within an inch of my life and disowned.

It's an unreal sensation.

That sucks about your brother, though. I'm assuming you're old enough that if you wanted to leave you could, but I'm guessing there's guilt that comes with leaving him in a shitty environment.

>>35606755
Cheers, anon. It's good to talk about it. Yea, I can move out, and I'm currently in the process of going military. It worries me what'll happen when I'm not around though.

She wouldn't raise a hand at me anymore since I'm considerably taller and larger than her, but i can't same the same for the young sprog.

>>35606847
That's fucked. Have you ever considered outside intervention, or do you feel that would just exacerbate the problem?

>>35607023
I've tried outside help, social workers and family counselling, but once they turn to her and tell her she needs some improvement, she'll blank them and never call\acknowledge them again. It's mental and I'm certain she's got some sort of medical problem

amazing one can release his thoughts and emotions to a random person on an Indonesian fishing website

>>35606755
this might sound weird, but take a personality test and read up about your result. i did this and it helped me like and appreciate who i was a lot more. it helped me become more independent and not need as much human interaction, although i have no problems doing so. i'm INFP so reading about it and learning what i'm about was awesome.

>>35607123
Jesus fucking Christ. That's a damn shame. Maybe tell her she needs to get help before she irreparably damages her relationship with her sons? Where's your dad in all this? If he's not such a bad guy, why isn't he intervening at all (not trying to be accusatory, it just bothers me that you seem to be the only one concerned that a kid is being slapped around).

Yeah, I've poured out so many emotions and written so many things to this site.

>>35607214
Haha, I love MBTI. I'm a total INFP.

I don't take it too seriously from an academic perspective, but yeah, telling myself I'm just a poor wittle fairy in a world of nasty mean bullies who lack my sophisticated moral insight is definitely good mental masturbation when I'm becoming bitter.

Pretty sure my mom is trying to convince the rest of my family I'm an asshole. I don't live at home but every time I go back she tries to start an argument with me over anything.

I think this is what having an ex wife would be like where she tells the kids he's a dead beat prick just because she doesn't like him.

I also think this is why I'm so put off by the idea of being in a relationship in general. I'm convinced most women are like my mom, ready to argue about anything, ready to stay in a rotten mood about stupid shit for weeks on end and never willing to admit they were in the wrong, if there's an argument it's always my fault and I must always be the one to apologize.

Wonder what it's like to have nice interactions with women desu.

I've really been wanting to travel lately. Is it a normie trend that will just lead to me hating my life just as much abroad or will it allow me a week or two of escapism? Any robots have experience?

>>35607353
Travelling is fun. If you mean cross-country, it's super cool to check out different cultures.

Shit, if you finally land somewhere you genuinely like, you can make plans to move there and L I T E R A L L Y start your life anew.

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I get feels from watching audio swap videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLr3H6feF3cdhH0IOBBZXFjabP2KFMzwZR

I'm super happy. The happiest I've ever been. And ironically it's making me stressed and anxious as fuck because it's such a fragile happiness and I'm just waiting for it to fall apart

It's such a weird feeling, I'm not sure how to adequately describe it

>>35607276
Nothing's physically abusive, as far as I can tell. It's more verbal, emotional and mental abuse. Da's moved country due to separate reasons

I'm not saying he's a saint either, he did some bad shit also, but I've literally realised that me mum's over-exaggerated most of his actions and demonised him for me to hate him. brain-washed, if you would. and recently noticed she's doing to same to the younger, about me.

Don't me asking, how'd you deal with your problems? I imagine you found a decent solution. Honestly, I'm all ears right now.

>>35605542
Feel ok. Ran a 5k yesterday. Did nothing but play vidya today

I felt better after running

Also the honey chicken I made tastes like garbage

>>35607333
Nice trips.

>starts an argument

Boy, do I get that. I went back home a couple months ago, and I didn't visit my mom because I knew the moment I stepped through that door she'd start screaming, or letting her boyfriend scream, at me. She acts so weepy and concerned whenever I'm not around her, but then my physical presence destroys whatever illusion of normalcy we had. Needless to say, when she found out I was home and didn't want to visit her, she screamed at me and didn't see the irony in it.

>in her defense she does toss me a bone financially and my grandfather was sick at the time, although the latter totally slipped my mind.

>never admit they are wrong

Just reading that made my blood boil. I can still picture my mom running away from me, slamming doors and screaming to block my voice out whenever I was right.

To be fair, anon, what is she yelling at you about? Is it something you're actually doing wrong or is she really just being abusive?

Easier said than done, but really don't take your trauma out on others.

>>35607353
I'm indifferent, but I've traveled a little. It was fun, although my autism means that hotel arrangements are really difficult for me.

>>35607459
>>35607459
>about me

That's what abusers do. They're masters of bringing out the worst in people, and then framing the scene perfectly to make you look like a nutcase.

>my mom/stepdad will abuse me for hours, and when I'm gonna snap, run into somewhere crowded so when I do, strangers harass me for "bothering this poor old couple".

Honestly, I'm not dealing.

Moving away helps.

I can tell you as a younger sibling I don't resent my sister for GTFO when she did - if that's something you're worried about.

>I do resent her for being 15 years older than me and still taking her childhood trauma out on me, but that's another issue.

If your brother isn't completely myopic he'll still love you no matter what shit your mom pulls.

Start calling shit abuse. Use the angsty-sounding clinical terms because it's the only way you're ever going to get it through your head that this situation is fucked and you're NOT bad or whiny. So much of my life was telling people shit about my home, then shrugging and going, "yeah but whatever I'm just being whiny" and having them freak the ever-living fuck out.

When you move away from home you meet a lot of people from happy homes and the discrepancy is astounding. It's pretty easy to be jealous but life is unfair and we gotta deal as best we can. I like to think my experiences give me perspective.

Right now I'm trying to do my best in school. I'm trying to maintain friendships and maybe find love but as you saw from my original post that's...eh.

I'm still deeply worried that the fact I come from a broken home is going to sabotage whatever romantic relationship I have with a man (those fucking threads about red flags always freak me the fuck out when they start talking about single moms), but I like to think we're both still capable of choosing our own destinies.

>even if free will is a meme

I find it weird how I fucking hate uni, but when I have a week off for Spring Break I still feel like shit. Being productive doesn't make me happy and laying around shitposting/watching anime/playing vidya doesn't make me happy either.

I think I'm usually stressed out by uni which is miserable, but then when I have a week off I realize go a lonely and depressed I am

Is this what being a NEET is like?[/ spoiler]

>Grounded

You have to be 18 years old or older to browse this website.

went to the bars with some friends and their gfs (first mistake). got pretty drunk and the went to a club and was forced to dance with random barsluts for a little before they said they had a bf. I left and on the way home chad yelled out from his car about how much "wood i've cut"

I bet that faggot was all alone in his car and was hunting out for robots on their way home from getting drunk

>>35608064
what the hell does that mean, he some kinda lumberjack?

normies are weird

>>35608096
he's talking about how many stacies ive fucked i.e. "knotches on my axe"

>>35607979
Same.

I've been very unproductive this week (cutting class), and I've been feeling so much self loathing even though my marks are fine.

I'm horrified to think that I'm almost in third year now and all my really good friends are in another city and I've not really connected with people or advanced more with my professors.

>>35608064
>>35608096
>>35608120
That's some Jack Nicholson shit. Here's Johnny, bitch.

Not gonna lie, anon, you not liking those girls you were dancing with sort of reassures me. I have a thing for a robot right now and his work buddies always drag him out to bars, always try to get him on dating sites like Tinder and set him up. He told me he hits on girls at bars and that he hates fucking Tinder with a passion, but I still feel horrendously insecure.[/spoilers]

>>35607353
Personally, I always feel even more lonely when I travel just from seeing all the couples/families/friends having fun together. Even worst is the nights in the hotel room by myself because that's when I start thinking about my life and start regreting my trip. I have to try to stay busy and not be alone with my thoughts for too long or else I think about shit too much and end up here.

>>35608382
>I'm horrified to think that I'm almost in third year now and all my really good friends are in another city and I've not really connected with people or advanced more with my professors.

Same. Went to school 6 hours away from my hometown and have barely even talked to anyone outside of when I have to. Barely even talk to my high school friends anymore either, even though they all talk to each other, which really makes me feel left out.

>>35608682
>feel left out

My high school friends still really care about me, but we're so far apart that it doesn't matter. All of my high school friends are either married to each other or living together.

>best friend and one of my friends are doing graduate studies together, have a toddler
>other best friend is married, living at home with his family and new girlfriend, they're getting married
>other friends got an apartment together, work with ^^'s girlfriend

We all Skype together on the daily (video chats, playing vidya, etc.) and occasionally I'll hear them say, "Hey, let's swing by the university and grab So-and-so for a beer." or planning the kid's birthday party, or having a movie marathon after work....and I'm miles away in another province....alone. And I know I could be there sharing all of that with them if I didn't go to my current university.

I'm sorry about your friends. Maybe if you try talking to them again, things will be like they used to. Maybe things will get better if we start investing in what potential friendships we may have at our new schools. Who knows, man.

>>35608382
honestly, if my oneitis just asked/told me she wanted to hang out one on one, i'd probably be totally fine with it. but theres something about going out and meeting with thots at the bars or on tindr that makes me just want to stay a virgin for even longer

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Saturday morning, about 4 A.M eastern time. Dropped a ton of acid after seeing my Ex drink and party the night away on snap chat. Not the best course of action. And It definitely wasnt the best course of action while i was peaking because I was crying really hard. But honestly, I found Inner peace within the past 4 hours so im doing pretty alright.

>>35608823
We still talk to each other sometimes, we have a group chat but I often feel so disconnected to whatever they're talking about because they still see each other irl alot and they talk about that stuff alot

>Maybe things will get better if we start investing in what potential friendships we may have at our new schools

Yeah, I really need to make a more solid effort at this, but I'm always so anxious of talking to people.

>>35608847
No, I completely agree with you. I'm a virgin, and it's not for moral or religious reasons. I have no issue with people who have sex. Sometimes I think about losing it, but mostly I want the moment to special. I see no appeal in just getting the act over with.

Dating sites and bars just feel so fucking soulless. It's like a factory churning out as many quick, easy interactions for people who want relationships but don't want the feeling of hopelessness that accompanies
>muh oneitis

>friends with girl
>tell her there's this guy who's trying to get in my pants
>she says she fucked him during a depressive episode
>she regrets it
>say I'm depressed, too
> "that's probably why he likes you, because you're an easy target. You'll have another episode, get him to buy you drinks, and let him fuck you and feel horrible about it. That's just how things are."
>physically gag

I complained to the same girl about how another guy in my department lead this girl on by being really nice to her, then pumping and dumping her.

>"Yeah, but that's what you do. You flatter the person to get them in bed."
>"But if they think you love them, and they love you, that's lying. That's a trick. That's wrong."
>"That's just how the game is."

I wanted to tell her that this other girl was CRYING and unable to go to class because she was so heart broken, but I kept her secret. It horrifies me how people are so willing to hurt one another and do anything it takes to have a fucking orgasm. I still have no ethical objections to sex in theory, but shit like this is just leaving me with tremendous contempt for hookup culture. I'm starting to think that decent people can't survive it.

TLDR: I think you're a fucking awesome person for actually wanting a meaningful sex act rather than pumping thots to show your buddies what a tough guy you are.

>tfw i don't think my oneitis would say yes if I asked him out

>>35608915
Not smart, but glad you're feeling safe. I'm online.

>>35609062
I feel all these feels, anon.

I guess my only consolation is that literally everyone feels anxious. Sure, there's different levels of it, but everyone is subject to the same anxieties.

Also, all anxiety is narcissism since it assumes other's pay attention to your slightest action. They really don't, since they're fixated on themselves. It's like a camera lens, you're only seeing shit through your eyes.