The last thing you would have done

>>35604151
>Has anyone here UNIRONICALLY tried to kill themselves i.E NOT some cry for attempted help or some faggot shit like that.

Pulled the trigger on a .45. Firing pin was broken. No idea. Just gave up and never really thought about it since.

>>35604193
>never really thought about it since.
Then why did you try if you dont mind my asking?

What the fuck happened to my pst

>>35604151

I genuinely tried to kill myself and it obviously didn't work. Swallowed an entire bottle of sleeping pills and choked down as much alcohol as I could manage (but not enough to make me vomit, as that'd defeat the purpose). Passed out for 3 days. Woke up covered in my own piss absolutely saturated from head to toe, as my body tried to purge itself of the toxins. How I didn't die of dehydration alone I have no idea. The thirst when I woke up was unbearable. Left a permanent scar on my upper right eyelid where I thrashed around in my sleep and sliced myself in the face with my fingernails.

10/10
Would fail at everything, including death itself, again.

>>35604632
Intense wave of "shut it down." I have no idea where it came from. I'm not a depressed person.

I remember I tried to hang myself after a stacy died at my high school after dying. I don't understand suicide because I am content with life and life is the shit.

>assembly at high school for Stacy
>everyone who wasn't her friend acts all sad
>big suicide prevention program talks about talking to people about problems and stuff
>walking home and thinking about how suicide is like
>get home and get extension cord in garage
>tie a noose and tie it on to tree branch in back yard
>stand on story and kick it off
>remember the noose tightening and feeling pressure from the back of neck
>must of looked retarded flailing my arms everywhere and kicking in mid air
>eyes start to water and trying to gasp for air
>whole life flashes before my eyes and thinking about friends, mom, dad, sister, brother, and dog
>my final thoughts were, "shit, people think I might be copying Stacy..."
>tree branch breaks because I am also a fat fuck
>lay on the floor crying
After that experiment I really get more confused as to why people commit suicide.

>>35604752
The body is an amazing thing

>>35605073
>story
I meant stool

>must of
Must have

>>35604151
>never told anyone in real life that I've tried hanging myself
>first time I tried I was 9
>I was hanging there but my fear kicked in so I got loose
>every couple years since then I tried but I would always get too scared
>when I was 16 I actually got myself to pass out but the bar on my closet broke from all my weight
>I lied of course to my parents about it but after that I figured if I was suppose to die it wouldn't have broke
>something wanted me to live

After that I didn't feel the need to try again. I just kept my thoughts to myself and turned to burning my legs when the thoughts became too much.

>>35605117
Human bosyniac is an amazing faggot

>keep trying to suspension hang myself but it hurts too much
guess if I wasn't a pussy I would just kick a stool out from under me

>>35604151

>Suicidally depressed for years
>on multiple occasions try to slit my throat or wrists
>not enough willpower
>repercussions: Parents asked me what that mark on my throat was and I wore a scarf for a few weeks
>tried doing caffeine overdose with caffeine pills
>pussy out close to the lethal dose
>not enough willpower
>repercussions: Was lying sick in bed with diarrhea and vomiting, and a killer headache
>Parents think I got food poisoning or something

This is not counting the times I was next to something lethal (i.e. a long drop, train tracks, fast driving cars) and failed to do anything due to lack of willpower

I wish i had willpower. Then maybe I wouldnt be suicidally depressed, one way or another.

>abandoned town.
>didn't tell anyone where I went to.
>Go to wooded area.
>pull out knife.
>watch sunset.(sounds faggy but, better then looking at ground.)
>put blade to my neck and sat there couldn't muster the guts to do it.
>think of all the painful thoughts.
>bad memories.
>literally demanding myself to do it.
>start to press blade.
>mind is in a trance like state.
>soon it will be over
>not even sure if at jugular.
>hear people in the distance.
>teenagers laughing.
>failed so bad.

Maybe if I sliced myself they wouldn't have heard or found me.
Maybe they would have called the cops.

I regret failing that attempt. I regret it so much.

>>35605814
>Willpower to commit suicide

If you have any bit of willpower in you, the last thing you want to do is die

>>35606299

And if you have none, all you want to do is kill yourself.
Ironic, isn't it?

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No. Only time I got close I was very drunk so I probably would have fucked it up.
I'm feeling less like killing my self my now but Its always there if I need it.

>>35606212
Pick yourself up, dont go out like that

>>35604794
>attempts to kill himself
>im not a depressed person

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Once I took a shit load of opiates and adderall to the point my heart felt like it died and right before I passed out I thought "Holy shit I did, I finally killed myself."

And that was the first time I fell asleep with a smile in a long long long time.

Sadly I woke up.

:/

>>35606474
Maybe he's just retarded? Or more likely he's full of Shit.

>>35606503
Overdose attempts rarely succeed in killing the attemptiee. That shit is for women and faggots. Buy a .45 and blow your brains out you won't feel a thing. An exit bag is a nice substitute as well.

>>35606551
killing yourself is more of an impulsive thing than a baw thing. Cries for attention are a baw thing.

>>35606638
It's an impulse after long periods of depression. A functional human being doesn't just casually try to end their life.

>>35606314
Yeah, It is. But as long as there is life, there is hope

>>35606577
They won't let me own a gun.

I mean... if they just talked to me, give me my money, my surgeries, and a companion then I will be the happiest lady in all the world. I won't ever have to go online for anything other than posting my adventures and music ever again.

I want my life to begin already. PLEASE.

>>35606577
>That shit is for women and faggots.
Preach

>>35606828
cant you buy a used gun from a private sale if in most states in the US?

>>35606828
Kek you're pathetic. If you still have the means to be happy then you shouldn't even consider suicide yet. Suicide should only be for when life has lost all of its luster and nothing is fun.

>>35606890
I dont have access to real people. Only you fucks.
>>35606913
This was before I knew I was some kind of freak chosen one that was the star of a truman-type real life show and all of my misery was manufactured for your enjoyment.

Now I know that I'm the most desirable person in the world with more money than god to do whatever I want. Now I just want them to stop lying to me and free me from my cage so I can get with Kitty Bunny for awesome adventures.

Like, I don't expect her to want to fuck me but that's not even what I want. I just want someone to go out with and have fun and experience life for real. If it turns out that we hit it off then yay! If not then whatever.

I JUST WANT TO BE FREE, PLEASE. PLEASE.

I'll stop talking about this shit the second you guys talk to me about it. until then I'm going to keep on ranting because it's all I fucking have to do.

>>35607024
What the fuck are you on about? Take your meds dude.

>>35606746
But also despair. They go hand in hand.

>>35604151
I have.

Tried drinking myself to death via vodka. Drank a fifth and a half before I blacked out. Was found by my parents on the floor, laying in my vomit.

Went to a stress center for a few days. Boring as fuck.

No longer suicidal once I stopped drinking liquor.

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>after years of slogging through life wishing to just die, finally had a day bad enough to go through with it
>pick up a pizza from my favourite place and a bottle of my favourite whiskey on the way home
>eat as much pizza as I can, get about halfway through the bottle
>write down "sorry" on a piece of paper
>tie a noose, hang myself in the living room
>wake up hours later in the hospital
>sister-in-law had come over to drop something off and found me, after coming in when there was no answer at the door
>didn't die, but the lack of oxygen caused brain damage and I have trouble thinking and talking and with some movement type stuff ever since
>more miserable than I was before trying

>>35607149
"Gee thanks for 'saving' me and making me brain damaged in the process"

>>35607116
True, but one cannot recognize beauty when he has never seen ugliness. We're all going to die anyway, no need to hurry. If you just suffered up to now, you are already hardened and ready to fight back

>>35607180
I don't even know why she bothered. Everybody I ever loved is dead. She just brings me things sometimes because she feels bad for me or something. It's just a matter of time before I have a day bad enough to finally push me to actually try again.

Put a gun to my head a couple times can't pull the trigger because of my mom.

>Trying myself in some applebees bathroom
>some crackhead walks in and starts laughing at me
>give up and cry under the toilet sink for half an hour

>>35607024
rant more please

>>35607323
Does your mom have the bullets or something?

>>35607149
This is pretty much my worst fear. Failing at suicide and becoming brain damaged or paralyzed in the process. Sorry, man.