/psoriasis feels/

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>>35583984
>family tells me in order to help get rid of it you have to stop eating junk food
false. it is a genetic condition. the inflammation can be partially alleviated by a perfect diet void of sugars and carbohydrates, but the psoriasis will remain.

but yeah, psoriasis is partially why I am a robot

>dad has psoriasis
>i already inherited his acne which was 10x worse for me

if i started getting this shit i'd really consider death, i already hate myself

I have something called inverse psoriasis where I get rashes in the nooks and crannies of my body. Heat seems to trigger it. I can't take hot showers anymore. It mostly stays at a low level but flare ups make it seem like my crotch is on fire.

I rarely post, or even come to this website anymore, but this one hits home for me, so I'll bite.

I have it, alongside stretch marks that used to be really bright pink but since have faded a bit. I ALSO pretty much started going bald by the time I was in 11th grade, and I'm completely bald on the top of my head now (27 y/o). My formative years were truly pretty rough mentally, but through the years I've learned ways to carry myself well and groom and dress okay. That goes a ways, and I aways cringe at people without any noticeable problems who don't take care of how they look. Especially those with a good head of hair thats greasy, long, or generally unkempt. I think feeling that way is partially out out jealousy - but I digress.

I will forever be conscious of my body. Earlier today even I had a flashback of a time a few years ago when I was at an apartment with my friends and a couple of cute girls and everyone wanted to go to the swimming pool/spa. Nobody ever says anything about my body, but I know they see it and wonder. At that point I either have to explain it to everyone awkwardly, or just leave it alone and play it off like it doesn't bother me. Inside I die. Those memories conjure up some awful anxiety and usually an audible sucking through my teeth noise.


A lot of circumstances stood in my way of me feeling confident, especially around women, but I attribute my skin issues with that the most. I always wondered if I could ever truly show a girl I liked my body and not completely break down or freak out. I kind of shut myself off from trying to find a girl, and taking things further with girls who I knew might like me ("how could they really? I must be just thinking too much into it" I'd tell myself). Because of that, I started feeling like even if I did finally find myself in a situation where I was about to get laid or something, on top of my ugly body, I'd have no idea what I was doing because I had no experience. A double turn off!

2 b cont'd

I'm 35 and it only gets worse. I have nail psoriasis now too and about 20 patches that are all growing larger. Im also starting to get psoriatic arthritis and the doctors are concerned about my heart. Don't think psoriasis is just a skin condition, it eats away at your whole body. It's a fucking nightmare.

>>35583984
>>family tells me in order to help get rid of it you have to stop eating junk food
>>hard to do so

What's hard about it? Seriously. You literally don't eat shit food. Is this really challenging for you?

>>35586232
Yeah. I had a couple people ask me if I had herpes or if someone gave me a hickey on my neck. One of them actually felt really bad. But I forgave him since he didn't know. My 3 year old niece touched one of my psoriasis and asked "What is this?" I just ignore her because I don't want to go through the emotional pain of explaining it.

>>35586367
Yes. I'm a fatass.

>>35586420

Not an excuse. You're deliberately choosing to fuck yourself over in multiple ways.

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>>35586445
Fucking k. You do realize this is /r9k/ right? I'd imagine 80% of this board is over 200 pounds.

>>35586445
As someone who is big and now has been solidly dieting for a while and losing weight it is hard to kick. Your brain genuinely becomes addicted to it, and so little of it can completely fuck you over. I'm not saying there's an excuse, but being a cunt isn't going to help him kick the habit.

>>35586232


Anyways, I always kind of tried to keep my negative thoughts to myself as much as I could. I have had close friends for my whole life, I go to parties, I try to be social even when I don't really want to be, and I keep practicing and learning what I feel passionate about - art. I guess I kind of existed in a normal way except for never, ever, ever showing my body to anyone and never having sex - like almost all of my classmates were doing during high school and college. Although adjusted, that did kind of wear on me and I always kind of walked around feeling like I didn't truly have knowledge that other people did, if that even makes any sense. If any of my friends wanted to talk about sexual experiences, I could feel the anxiety well up and I just sort of kept quiet and off to the side.


I wasn't intimate with a girl until I was 24, and even then she is the only one I have ever been with - I am currently in a relationship with her actually, and I think of her as one of the closest people in my life. Never once has she made me feel like my psoriasis was any problem at all. Meeting her and being close to someone who gave me input in a deep way outside of my own negative thoughts really did give me a huge confidence boost and made me realize that the skin i'm in really doesn't have to dictate how I feel about myself - though it's still a battle. I guess it just took someone to tell me that it doesn't affect how they see or feel about me - and to trust and believe it. This can be good and bad I guess, though. I admit that I haven't been taking as good a care of my patches as I used to. I have always been wary of the creams and I really feel like it may have contributed to me going bald so early on (I have scalp psoriasis as well), but who knows. I agree majorly with the OP, you fight it, it goes away, but then sometimes it comes back hard. I have beaten some patches though..but in recent years it has gotten worse. I am almost NEVER sick though.

>>35586460

You're objectively retarded if you think this isn't a board primarily used by slightly off kilter normies.

>>35586488

Whatever. It's not as if it's a debilitating addiction. Just cut it down then cut it out. Have some fucking self respect and discipline.

>>35586541

Just stop smoking. Just stop using heroin. Just cut it out brah, jus beeeee urself :^)

>>35586512
>like almost all of my classmates...

Whoops, meant to say "something" instead of "like".

Anyways, I have to say that being aware of your body so much is a curse, but it can also be a good thing. I truly had to grow into who I am today, and I still have a lot to learn. I know myself, and I own who I am. I'm a fat, bald dude with skin problems, which isn't what most people think of as a good lot, but I think it gives you the opportunity to give yourself a distinct look. I learned early on to cut my hair short and eventually Bic my head. I see a lot of older bald guys who try to hold on to that shit, but its just silly. Own it. I also wear V neck shirts because they help fat guys look more broad than fat, and I maintain a full but trimmed beard. These are things I learned because I had to. I had to learn to be comfortable with myself. You got red patches on your arms and skin? Own it. Walk around with it. Know that when a little girl walks up to you and points out the red scaly patches in between your fingers and asks you what it is, you can tell them with confidence what it is. Most people would feel hurt and maybe cry if someone pointed out a flaw in them, but you don't because you're used to it, Its who you are, and you own the shit man. This feels like its coming off like some cancer sermon, but I dunno, its kind of empowering to write.

A major thing I have learned is to actually *not* depend on other people take you away from your problems. I guess this seems counter from what I mentioned earlier about meeting a girl and hearing that I didn't look so bad, but it does have to do with that. I know that if she ever leaves that I still believe that I can be closer to others now, I can own myself and my body, and I can be happy. She helped me realize it, but it would be weaker than anything to depend solely on her to believe in myself all the time. I guess once true intimacy with another was demystified for me, that helped me see I could be freer.

>>35586541
I personally have done so, but I know it tends to take a few tries, and it is hard. Once again just going "it's so easy, what no, I never did it but I know for a fact it is" is not doing anything but giving you a slight confidence boost over the fact that your body fat % is low (a fact I can't even reliably account for, I know a lot of fat people that shit on the hugely obese, which is about as hypocritical as it gets)

>>35586705

As for how to find another person to love and care for you and you them - an issue thats constantly on this board - even with psoriasis, I can tell you what worked for me.

Find something you like to do that others can physically join you in doing (not the vidya, something more social). I nearly dropped out of high school because I was such a bad learner, but art classes were the most fun, and I always got good grades there, so I decided to go to school for art after HS. I have an independent love for art outside of everything else, and I think that fact alone has probably attracted the most people to me in my life despite my low self esteem and skin/weight issues. People seem to see straight through everything if you have something you are independently passionate and obsessed about that isn't a vice or video games. I met the girl im with now because of school, and we connected over the the medium of what we were studying and giving input on our work together. We both respect each other and the work we produce, which is a great thing. None of that would be the case if I didn't have something I was interested in above everything else.

I know some people don't have anything like that, and my interest in art comes and goes sometimes itself, but Its worth thinking about what you can do outside of yourself I guess. Making something for others to look at and deconstruct and converse over really helped me understand people and who I was myself. Thats a huge part of why I love art so much. And I can say that in a place where almost everyone shits on contemporary art, haha. To each their own.


My last bit of advice - if you're young and hate yourself, wait until you get a little older. Sometimes you just have to grow into all of it and get some perspective. I know thats very not true for some, especially those with crippling, clinical depression, but for people who can see the bright side at least some of the time, just hold on and see what life has to offer.

>>35586855
Lastly, with regards to the argument over quitting eating poorly, I can see both sides here.


I can see how it looks really obnoxious to keep doing something so bad that is so easy to stop doing. Just stop eating the bad stuff, its so simple.

But the other side to that coin has a lot to do with how you see yourself, what your mental state is or issues are, and how you were brought up, which creates a huge part of your own overall personal reality.

I really think its easy to put the fries and soda down for some people, which leads to their being baffled at fatties who cant. Well, imagine if everyone in your family was skinny, and your whole life they ate whatever they wanted around you, and as a kid they brought you up eating whatever you wanted too. They stayed relatively thin due to their metabolism or whatever, but you got totally overweight - and now as an adult you don't really know where to begin to combat it because you've always been overweight your whole life, though the "normal" people around you maintained decent weight. It's a nightmare when you've never really had any serious or thoughtful guidance. Simply saying "stop that stupid shit" doesn't mean anything if you can't really grasp how to truly stop. In my experience, shaming CAN work, but only in situations where the person receiving the shame actually knows how to do the right thing to begin with.

I know the internet sort of makes it a duty to shame the fat, which is fine (if you're fat yourself, you've heard it all before anyways, and it just gives you a tougher skin to hear it more), but the solution has a lot more to it than some simple answer like "just stop" - there are so many deep psychological things relating to what we put in our bodies and its truly a shame that so many lack perspective on that. I'd never advocate for being fat, it really fucking sucks to be that way myself, but I would advocate for better understanding of the problem itself.

>>35586512

I felt bad for you, but then you mentioned being in a relationship and having someone you care about and who cares about you. I don't mean this in a negative sense, but it makes me somewhat relieved and "happy" for you through a weird connection of events.

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>>35583984
Is it as bad as pic related?