Eye contact

Listening: Maintain contact, glance at their expressions, focus on words not eyes.
Speaking: Look away when you think, maintain when you deliver.

>>35573813
>focus on words not eyes
Do you mean look at the mouth? Sometimes I do that when I can't hear clearly (background noise and stuff like that).

Stop fapping. After 2-3 weeks in I can maintain eye contact.

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Thinking about it, I haven't looked anyone straight in the eyes for years. I can't do it. It's unsettling for me.

>>35573943
No you don't focus on anything except their voice. You should then gaze naturally. Of course easier said then done cus I struggle too.

I can do it just fine with women but it's hard to keep with men. I start feeling like they want to fuck me if they look at me in eye for too long. Its unpleasant.

me too, anon. i hate telling you this but it's an aspergers thing. we are all fucking autistic.

The trick is to just look towards the center of their face, it doesn't have to necessarily be their eyes.

If you focus on their nose, or forehead or whatever, it still looks like you're making eye contact but without the pressure.

>>35574062
Yeah I know that. A psychologist once told me that I'm not autistic, that I just need to learn social skills, but I didn't believe him. I know that there's something wrong with me, I always knew.

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>>35573497
I know the feel anon. Thing is, I wasn't always like this. There was a time where I knew how to hold genuine eye contact. However, I lost this skill around...I wanna say the 7th grade? Pretty much when my social anxiety kicked in. It's one of those things where once you lose it, you will never be the same again. It's like a bad redpill. Feels fucking bad man.

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Ha, I can relate to that feeling of not wanting to come off as [MENACING] anon.

>I dont know what im supposed to do.

What I do is make eye contact when I say something that I feel is important.

>How long

As long as you want, theres no time limit. I do 2-3 seconds.

>It's not even about being scared, more like not being threatening.

Don't overthink this too much. Theres more to coming off as threatening than just your gaze.

>>35574452
>As long as you want, theres no time limit.
Well, I can hold it but how do I avoid the "I'm going to cut your fucking throat" stare?
I mean, probably this is all in my head, maybe the others don't even find me menacing (or maybe they do, fuck if I know)... I hate my autism, man.

>>35574582
Don't open your eyes too wide, keep them chilled and normal/neutral while talking to someone. And try slightly smiling or grinning to make it look like you have a happy facial expression so the person can feel comfortable with you.

>>35574740
>Don't open your eyes too wide
This is not a problem
>And try slightly smiling or grinning
Yeah, I noticed that when I look people in the eye often they make that half smile, and that's when I look away. Maybe the key is here... But I can't do a forced smile, I always look like a retard.

>>35574452

>How do I avoid the "I'm going to cut your fucking throat" stare?

Don't stare Anon. Eye contact is important to let someone know that you are paying attention to the conversation.

3 seconds is more than enough.