The Problem is Me

Yes mostly also fused with some bad luck and external factors who are uncontrollable. All of that together mixed is pretty frustrating.

na i'm with you

cant even make it through a day anymore where I don't freudian slip 5 times and audibly tell myself I should just kill myself. It used to just play in my head but now I uncontrollably just blurt out how much I hate myself

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>>35560024

yeah, nights ago i was going to take 2 or 3 hydrocodone's i had lying around, but i got this urge like a part of my brain was forcing my hand, and i just kept taking more and more i wasn't even counting it was like some part of me was shoving them into my mouth and the other part was too resigned to care. I slept 14 hours and could barely stand up even the next evening. I think it was around 8 or 10 total.

I don't think I wanted to die, I just wanted to fuck myself up, for being such a shit.

>>35560164
that really isn't so bad, sounds like a comfy day. Wish I had some opiates

It's not often helpful to blame others for your fuck ups, even if it's true. IMO, of course.

>>35560206

yeah it kinda was comfy lying in bed after, knowing i was gonna fall asleep soon, not really sure if i was gonna wake up again but not really caring. Everything did not apply to me then.

and believe it or not, waking up was kinda nice feeling too. not relieved bc i didn't think i was likely gonna die, but just felt... detached. that was a nice feel.

>>35560206
i have a bunch of oxycodone left over from surgery what do, what should i save them for?