Hobo Party

>>35544964
Is there more to the story anon?

>>35544964
sounds like you're about to get raped.

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>Jack answers door
>Sees Kevin and Mike
>Kevin introduces me to Jack and I hardly speak.
>I look around the house
>All this faux-Amerindian shit, and wolf carvings, and dreamcatchers
>Couches are covered in cig ash and butts
>Tables and any other flat surface covered in various obscure alcoholic drinks
>Get a good look at Jack
>White as ice
>The dude is a total waPawnee, a weaSiox
>Jack gets dressed and inserts every conversation about his sexual activity with girls, as if he is insecure about some closet queerness
>Limp Bizkit is on the radio and won't stop playing
>Jack sings along
>I sit still as a statue, speaking only when spoken to.
>"You know what I like? Kissing girls. It's so awesome."
>No shit
>Party starts as three girls walk into the house
>Two of them are sluts looking for an easy fuck and one brown girl is just there for the free weed
>I'd smoke some too if I weren't looking for a job
>Jack, to impress the slut duo, chugs some drink. I think it was Jack Daniels, some Bacardi. I don't drink, so I don't know
>Three new guests enter
>One edgy looking plumber Count of Monte Cristo, skull ring wearing, Leon Trotsky beard having, Matrix looking motherfucker.
>Some slightly chubby guy
>And a stoner with a Jack Russell terrier, Shaggy and Scooby-doo
>Chubby guy has a jar of weed in his hands and asks everyone to smell it
>Too strong. It smells like a skunk spraying on a fiery Soviet tire.
>Chubby guy asks for my debit card, pointing to his nose
>Don't have card on my, but Kevin lends Chubby his
>Chubby goes to the bathroom to squanch
>"SNNIIFFFF, oh yeah. SNIFFFF, fuck! SNIIIIFFFF, uh."
>Chubby returns sweaty, handing Kevin his card. He looks like he wants to die.
>One slut changes it to dubstep in place of Bizkit
>Halleluja!
>Jack then suggests we go to this bar that turns a blind eye to underage drinking because Kevin is under 21.
>The cars are loading up and Jack, drunk as a Slav, demands that he's driving his own car.

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>Looking for job connections out of the picture, now it's petty survival
>2edge, trying hard to look cool, says he's driving his own car. Mike, Kevin, Shaggy, and I agree to go with him, while the Sluts and Chubby go with Jack
>We tail Jack, swerving and driving at innapropiate speeds.
>We arrive in an overfilled barrio blanco with uneven streets, surrounded by abandoned plantation homes that were built in the slave times.
> Maybe I'm exaggerating
>We park far away from the shitty bar
Some muscular Tyrone on flakka is knocking on the window.
>He talks to Edgy like he knows him.
>He puts his arms through the unrolled window pointing at me going "Babbadahabbada dat faggot as girly boy with the baby face look like a ho."
>This is why I don't do anything illegal, if I did, I'd be prison booty.

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>Tyrone walks away in his own twitch tard way for some eldritch reason
>I mouth to Kevin, "What the...FUCK!"
>He tells me relax bc there's a heater in his glove box the entire time.
>I enter the bar. It's shit, the parking lot is like a bumper car arena.
>Awful kareoke is playing.
>Be me
>Str8 3DG310RD drinking my bottled water.
>The party blows and everyone wants to leave.
>Edgy ditches us to get laid and drunk Jack offers to drive us home.
>Jack tries to sober up by meditating and blasting System of a Down as loud as he can.
>Kevin and Mike are trading, buying, and lighting cigs with hobos and junkies.
>One cool hobo is rocking out with us while I'm subtly about to shit myself.
>Shaggy saves the day, Ubering us home
>I don't party anymore.

>>35546172
Shaggy sounds like the best out of them

>>35546331
Shaggy actually owned a power washing company, but I didn't ask for a job because I hated to be affiliated with Edgy and Jack.

>>35545729

>Drunk as a slav

Slavs don't get drunk silly.